NEWSFLASH: Qld Unions Appoint A New Lobbyist – Steven Miles.

Don’t be too dazzled by the blinding smile, his teeth are gritted, Premier Smiley is in the Christmas Hold of one man, union heavyweight Gary Bullock,  the man who tipped the balance Smiley’s way for the top job. While it will be much a case of same circus, different ringmaster, there are a couple of urgent reforms that have bitten the dust. The Magpie allows himself a little rant.

]And in the local sideshow alley in Walker Street,  an urgently needed reform now has no hope of getting up, with the mayor outsourcing a vital role to the clown car garage of Townsville Enterprise.

A running outburst from KAP candidates explains why the party is known in some circles as the Katteronics.

And with the year coming to a close, The Magpie looks back on some of the fun and events of times that have flitted by.

The donate button to offer material support to the Nest is at the end of the blog. Thanks.

Meet Queensland’s New Shot Caller

It seems new premier Steven Miles was well prepared for the departure of Anna Alphabet, giving the lie to the simpering assurances of the outgoing Premier that it was a sudden personal decision. Bringing almost a dozen new faces to Labor cabinet, ministers and assistant ministers, is an exercise in back room factional bloodletting that often take weeks if not months.   So it is indicative of the clout that UWU kingpin Gary Bullock that such sweeping changes were announced lickety split. And make no mistake, Bullock has his hand firmly up Miles paper mache back, he is undoubtedly Queensland most powerful man.

Bentley hasn’t missed the significance.

And David ‘The Kid’ Crisafulli is as happy as a dog with two dicks (whereas Miles only has one, his deputy premier).  Although staggering under the burden of political ammunition,  The Kid has the bonus of a Bullock appointment as his opponent. Queenslanders have never been keen on unelected leadership, even unions having more power than they really need to fulfil their roles,. This new situation now has the bonus for the LNP that there can be no Miles move to clean up Deadwood City, as the overflowing public service is known. Given the slippery avoidance of responsibility in this area by the shiny bums, perhaps Dodge City might be a better metaphor. Crisafulli has been playing it cool, restricting himself to the expected and obvious view that its the same players in the same play, just minus one central character … in other words,  the drama of ambulance ramping, education cock-ups, and rampant crime etc remains the same, and offers fertile ground for multiple surprise attacks.  The Kid’s only worry is that Smiley might actually do something effective in several areas, then it will be a real race next October.

Miles has been handed the poisoned chalice but his decisions over the next few weeks will show if he’s drunk from it, or tried to pour it down the sink. So far so good, with car rego frozen the next year, ditto public transport fares, and his smartest move was shuffling off much of the Olympic debacle to an external ‘independent’ body.

And here in Townsville, we’re told we’re going to get the long-mooted police helicopter. One imagines Smiley will be under pressure to deliver same before the next election, otherwise it’s will be just the latest in seven years of empty promises.

Demented Dametto Plays To The Cheap Seats

Hot on the heels of goofy local KAP wannabee candidates calling for householders to be allowed to be indiscriminately ‘gunned up’, to bump of intruders,  KAP’s  Hinchinbrook MP went one step loopier, firing a Kattergun of a policy during the week, when he called for the Army to be brought in to stop Townsville’s wave of juvenile crime. Predictably, this brought a welter of crazies out from under rocks. This really is populism at its most cynical lowest. Dametto knows full well that this is never   going to happen … although if he doesn’t know that, then that raises other scary questions about him. Such a call-up  would be a federal matter, and would have much chance of getting up as we would of hearing Peter Dutton sing Keep The Red Flag Flying’ in Question Time.

The suggestion was so silly that even the Bulletin iditor  Gas Carvy thought it was a bad idea, although strangely, the paper’s prominent coverage of Mr Dametto’s inane babble didn’t include one single reporter’s question,  of all the obvious ones available. Stenography at it’s finest … as usual.

Something Else Just As Stupid That Didn’t Make The Paper At All

Apparently, our mayor unilaterally decided that events management, hitherto done in house by the council, was to be outsourced … to Townsville Enterprise. No word on the dollars involved, and seemingly ‘order by fiat’, but it’s a disastrous decision no matter how Walker Street tries to rationalise it.

But even more interesting is some evidence that the Mayor Mullet knows this is on the nose, given TEL’s woeful track record and famous lack of accountability. Or else, why was it announced to council as a fait accompli, not even a tin whistled let alone a fanfare? And at the time of the year known as the silly season, when unpopular or questionable decisions are slipped into the public domain,  while the punters are distracted by other matters.

It occurs to The ‘Pie that while Jenny Hill has been running hard on the campaign trail for some months now, with challenger O’Callaghan yet to go into full campaign mode (early in the New Year is predicted), there seems a strange urgency about her turning up at the merest glint of a camera lens. Jenny has been going harder than she has in past campaigns, despite virtually having the field to herself for the moment. Could this be that she in suddenly anxious of what might be revealed if she loses the mayoralty?

Just An Observation (By A Reader)

The was a jarring note in the Weekend Bulletin pointed out by a Magpie regular.

	White Mouse 33 approved email hidden; JavaScript is required 2001:8003:f23f:fb	Submitted on 2023/12/16 at 10:54 am The Astonisher does it again. Page 6 has a story about Townsville’s “A-listers” quaffing champagne and caviar at the opening of Ardo, while the opposite page features people lining up for food at a community pantry.

Juxtaposition is probably too big a word for the folks down at the Astonisher, but it is something layout subs have been alert to since papers were invented. Nothing wrong with these two stories individually,  but running them opposite each other raises  a question of taste and sensitivity for the subjects involved.

But things aren’t usually thought through down at the paper. Take this for instance.

Housing boost? Leighton, if you wrote that headline, you are not only a ninny, you are a tad callous, too.  Nineteen, probably  million dollar apartments will do absolutely nothing for the housing crisis, and many will probably be investments rented out by people already secure enough to afford an upgrade.  Mate, it’s a good story in itself, why try to up the ante this way?

A Personal Observation On The Latest War The Middle East

This current catastrophe in Gaza is the New Holocaust, a cruel twist on Churchill’s version of the famous saying ‘ Those who fail to learn from history are bound to repeat it.’ Israel was born out of one of the most heinous acts in history, but it has now been captured and totally ruled by its dark antecedents. In Germany, innocent men women and children were specifically murdered because they were Jews: in Gaza, innocent men women and children are being indiscriminately murdered because they are NOT Jews.

Hamas must be obliterated for its barbaric terrorism, but Israel has descended to its own level of murderous savagery against innocents. Any claim to moral superiority – even to being God’s Chosen people – is now seen for the fairy-tale farce that all religions are exposed as eventually.

In The US, Biden Governs, Trump Gabbles

It seems that the slow grinding wheels of justice are getting close to grinding the mentally failing Trump in its machinery of retribution. The prospect has sent Republicans and the MAGA into the final throes of panic, even to the point of seeking an impeachment of Joe Biden, based on not a single shred of revealed evidence. And Trump has openly outlined how he intends to become a vengeful, lawless dictator if returned to the White House. Fortunately, the way things are pointing, this deeply dangerous arsesole won’t even be allowed to run under constitutioal rules governing eligibility.  And Biden just keeps going from success to success, although, as our first item in the gallery shows, the MAGA twerps are inventing their own morality and own mythology.

Media Bloopers Happen Everywhere – Even In Wikipedia

Wikipedia is no exception. Beaking around for some arcane cricket question that had cropped up, The ‘Pie got his own chuckle out of this entry.

No Wiki, ‘chuckling’ is Kerry O’Keefe in the commentary box,  or what Dennis Lillee used to do watching a tailender come to the crease. And btw, not sure about the explanation given, either.

A Brief Stroll Down Memory Lane

As the very true saying has it about getting older, the days go slowly but the years fly by.  The ‘Pie was reminded of this when he came across a few items published over time. So he thought it might be fun to revisit some of our favourite moments of frivolity.

Rainalways makes for gloomy golfers,  but someone in the Rowes Bay pro shop knew how to break the news gently.

And speaking of such images, this is one The Magpie had some fun with.

But The Magpie’s favourite bit of writing – he really did enjoy it – came when a passing reference in the blog to the unpleasant Murdoch editor Col Allen lawyered up because The ‘Pie dared to mention that many years ago he had belted his missus. Co, at the time in strife with the #MeToo mob in NY over attempting to taste test an employee,  soiled himself in alarm,   and his wife vehemently denied it – ‘ He wouldn’t dare’, she said. what   The old bird received a ‘concerns notice’ demanding the wording be removed and that Col and the missus cop fifty grand to assuage their wounds.  Much amused , or maybe insulted by the demand – as any person living solely on the age pension would be – The ‘Pie took to the keyboard for this reply:

Ms Imogen Loxton

Senior Associate

Ashurst Australia

5 Martin Place,

Sydney, Australia 

2000

My Dear Ms Loxton,

First of all, what a beautiful name, Imogen Loxton. It conjures up gauzy, dream-like images of an exotic European hair care commercial, with a comely young lass with shiny blonde tresses  streaming in the wind as she runs through a green field, then pausing to ask ‘have you ever imagined shampooing your hair with Imogene … Imogene  Loxton.’ However, I shall refrain  from using the phrase ‘everyone is showering with Imogen Loxton’ as that may lead to a misunderstanding and attract an harassment – even a defamation – suit. But you have to admit ‘Imogen Loxton by Ashurst’ really does have a ring to it. Anyway, a much more sonorous name than, say, that lady lawyer in Melbourne named Magda Kron (it’s true, https://www.linkedin.com/in/magda-kron-3a905629/?originalSubdomain=au) who sounds like she springs, breastplated and be-sworded from the pages of a Marvel comic, saying capital letter words like ZAP!! And KAPOW!!

But, goodness, listen to me prattling on, without a thought for the expensive billable hours you will have to charge your client for reading my whimsy. And as you will see, it will be him you’ll have to charge, not me.

So, to the matter in hand.

On receipt of your first email, I promptly removed the reference and comments your client was so alarmed about … despite the fact that no one but lawyers fruitlessly seeking business back-read issues of The Magpie’s Nest, as it is just a pissy little parish pump blog in NQ mainly about Townsville matters. But I swell with pride when I can claim that it is read by – oh, let’s say,  tens of people.

Please don’t waste your valuable time with a prim lecture about ‘in defamation, it only takes one person to …’ etc etc, have heard about that.

And thank you for your second email acknowledging the deletion.

But here it seems we must part amicable company on a couple of points … but can agree on one crucial one.

The deletion is basically my concession to your client that after 42 years, my accurate recollection of what I was told by a third party and bruising I personally observed, notwithstanding, I am not in a position to ‘bring it up to proof’ that she spoke the truth. Perhaps I was inadvertently swayed by Mr and Mrs Allen themselves, who demonstrated an inclination towards DV behaviour even before they were married.  Col happily admitted he met his future wife when she, angered by a comment he made about a story she had written, threw a full can of beer at him, a person she didn’t even kno at the time. ‘It was love at first throw,’ he chortled merrily in an interview with an American magazine a few years ago. Perhaps knowing that led me into error, and Sharon’s comment to me that ‘he wouldn’t dare’ may have a veneer of truth … Col is famous for getting blind drunk and either pissing in office sinks during editorial meetings or getting into barroom brawls which he inevitably and quickly loses. He’s not known in the business as Canvasback Col without reason. So perhaps after all, Sharon has the speed, reach and footwork to discourage any possible domestic unpleasantness.

And as to the fanciful matter of $50,000, allow me to save you the expensive services of your research assistant.

I am a 76-year-old cancer patient (currently in remission) who has had a tracheotomy (and therefore cannot talk on the phone, or much at all for that matter – a fact that caused a run on celebratory champagne here in Townsville). I live (only just) solely on the age pension, am a renter and have bugger all assets, apart from a 25 year Toyota Corolla, (but sadly no log book, it was lost in the flood ’09). Since it is a week or so before my rent is due, my current bank balance is looking somewhat glossy at $3,339.27. And it may surprise you to know that I don’t have a credit card you could ask me to raid. So you might as well add a few more noughts to the claim, to at least make your client pretend to feel a little more aggrieved and make me feel a bit more important than a piffling fifty grand.

Of course, I realise that Mr and Mrs Allen could seek the satisfaction of at least suing me, which would only result in my bankruptcy, a circumstance which would have just one effect: since it would make not a skerrick of difference to the lavish pensioner lifestyle of my waning years, it would cost your client a tidy sum into your trust account. However, now knowing my financial situation, this may place you in the tricky position, should you urge and recommend Mr Allan proceed to court, it could leave you open to – how do you say it in your professional jargon – ‘open to being found to be seriously derelict’.

HOWEVER, disregarding your interesting claim that my comments were ‘indefensible’ – a standard goading lawyer word challenging one to expensive litigation and handsome remuneration for all those legal folks involved – I will agree to the remaining pleading demand.

I give my word I will not again mention Mr and Mrs Allen in this context of DV again, in my blog or in any public forum, and will leave Mr Allan unhampered to handle other more pressing legal matters elsewhere without any sideline cheerleading from me.  This offer is made with the proviso that you advise me post haste that this is the end of the matter, with no silly futile claim for costs.

Re-reading that promise, I was struck by its redundancy – I find local stories of two headed calves and three fingered banjo players in Townsville’s outer suburbs far more interesting and worthy of my attention than sink-pissing, barroom groping, bedroom bandicoots.

I await your reply with great interest – but Imogen, really, you should think about trademarking your name,

Your Sincerely,

Malcolm Weatherup

Aka The Townsville Magpie.

PS If I am in error in believing this correspondence came from Ms Loxton but it in fact came from the more impressive sounding partner, Robert Todd, I can only add ‘bad luck with such a pedestrian name, Bobby, and I had no intention of adding insult to injury if you happen to be bald.’

Now before you start arcing up, dear reader, and suggesting The Magpie is not a bird of his word and has not kept his promised pledge,  you will note that the promise came with a proviso. Which was not met.  Ms Loxton never replied.

And perhaps I know why. In my wild erratic fancy, visions come to me of … Imogen, lost in the heady world of shampoo commercials, brylcreemed lotharios, off-the-should LBDs and living in a gilded Parisian apartment equipped with hot and cold running gigolos. One imagines Mr Todd is at loss as to why his prize junior fled the office for the wide world of hirsute happiness.

But we know why, don’t we, Imogen?

……………………..

That’s enough tomfoolery for now, back next week for a bit of Christmas bah-humbug.

That aforementioned donate button is below.