Why this blog exists...

The Magpie

Sunday, November 22nd, 2020   |   179 comments

From Townsville To Downsville? Mayor Mullet Hails New CEO Prins The Prince Ralston’s Appointment As ‘A Coup’.  It Sure Is – For Her.

Gosh, it’s enough to make the unbeliever start trusting in divine providence. The coincidences and characters involved in Prins Ralston’s long and winding road to the Townsville Council’s CEO’s chair is almost a biblical parable. .Jenny Hill is shouting ‘hallelujah!’ as though it’s a second coming. But as The Magpie explains, perhaps we should be shouting ‘Oh, Christ, not again.’

Does no ‘Noel’ mean no cash – the Mayor’s cancellation of Carols By Candlelight on the ridiculous grounds of COVID restrictions seems a sure sign that this council is in serious financial straits.

The latest newspaper readership figures make mixed reading for the Townsville Bulletin, from ‘hooray’ to ‘oh fuck’ plus a bit of salt into the wound. And despite the latest figures, the Bulletin makes an on-line claim that is simply incredible, impossible and possibly illegal.

And are we now Target Townsville? That damning report on war crimes in Afghanistan   … there are two very real outcomes that no one seems to have considered. But The Magpie has.

… and in America, Trump is going all Shakespearian … like Lady Macbeth’s famous demented sleepwalking scene, Trump rambles on while the audience chants ’Out, damned despot.’

Before we get down to business, a sincere thank you to those of you who have come to the financial rescue of The Nest . Your generosity has us almost out of the woods on this particular issue, but it is an on-going battle around here, so if any others can help out, it will be sincerely appreciated … by readers as well as The Magpie. The donate button is at the bottom of the blog. Thank you.

Bentley is on a break, so first …

The Arrival Of Royalty? … Or Just Royally Shafted … Again?

Pre-judging people, policies or events is generally an inexact science at best. But so also is ignoring history.

So with that in mind, allow The Magpie to become your tour guide through a modern-day fable that has seen our new TCC CEO, Prins ‘The Prince’ Ralston, arrive in town.

Prins RalstonScreen Shot 2020-11-18 at 9.48.28 am

Prins ‘Th Prince’ Ralston

This event, long in the planning, has been hailed by Mayor Mullet as ‘a coup for Townsville’. A coup maybe, but not for this city … we’ve already had a jarring dose of this particular style of ‘coup’. But a coup nevertheless … for Jenny Hill, who in her haigography of the ndew CEO, forget to mention his brilliant management style when a board member of the now belly-up Humanis group, which dudded unsecured creditors of a cool $86million back in 2012. That collapse was also helped by The prince’s colleague Rabieh Krayem.

So …

Long time ago, in a land far away the unsuspecting people of Townvillania went happily about their lives, with employment generally available, financial milk and honey flowed more or less freely, and business was steady if not spectacular.

On March 15, 2008, the forced amalgamation with the nearby hamlet of Thuringowastan – quickly forced on the good burghers of the city by departing King Beattie The Beast – had gone fairly smoothly. Clr Mullet enjoyed the glory of being deputy to the competent but slowly unraveling Mayor Tony His Radiance Mooney, who was alarmingly losing the plot. He was succumbing to the hubris of such a long run of success and growth on the back of the suddenly sputtering mining boom. This suited Clr Mullet as heir to the throne and she started plotting immediately.

But then came the council elections of 2008, and the pissed-off peasants of the former hamlet next door turfed His Radiance out, preferring their own knight errant Tyrell The Less Colourful, and his team of non-Labor independents.

Clr Mullet found herself the sole survivor of the Great Purge of ’08, and remained steadfastly opposed to anything and everything proposed by the other councillors, who in turn easily blocked several of her populist but financially irresponsible ideas. But then, oh, dear, children, a blight descended on the city, in the form of Tyrell The Less Colorful deciding to retire, his legacy intact. Suddenly, Clr Mullet realized all those years of humiliation and scheming could come to fruition with a little wizardry.

But there was a problem, and Mullet The Magician had a frown that wouldn’t go away … it was the terrible mess she and His Radiance had got the council finances into over the amalgamation issues (especially Ye Olde NQ Water, the biggest rort His Radiance had ever pulled off). Blaming Tyrell The Terrible was handy but didn’t solve problems created by her ego and cock-eyed ambitions (seen some years later in in the misadventure with Adani The Avaricious and his airstrip.)

Unknown to the general populace – most of whom can’t read anyway – our magician sought out a distant alchemist skilled in poisonous potions who lived in Melburnania, now know known as Covidica X1X. With the foresight of one on a quest of revenge, and even before she was elevated to the scarlet mayoral robes trimmed with possum fur, the wicked councillor secretly sought an allegiance with a distant ally-for-hire in a distant city … these were the fierce, freelance allies, famed for the callous disregard for anything others than gold doubloons and, most appropriately, pieces of silver, who belonged to the tribe known asJenny Hill ‘consultants’. This particular one was known as the Nostrums of Nous.

In clandestine meetings, into which she swirled in long doona-like robes to foil the fog-damp nights of Melburnnia, , Mullet the Magician promised to open the TCC coffers if her southern allies, the Nostrums of Nous, directed by one Prince Ralston the Rorter could come up with a scheme to re-balance the council books she had helped tilt so precariously. She also wanted a plan that would settle a few old scores. She and The Rorter agreed to play a long game.

Soon after tossing a few ideas into the bubbling Nous pot, our Battler’s Boadicea ultimately won the position of mayor by counting on the reliable gullibility of the local populace by declaring she was not a Labor council – no way, but that she led a wholly independent council, and a new dawn approached. Trades Halls around the nation had many a good old guffaw about that one, but now it was time to get her arm raising aerobics class of councillors to knuckle down. As if by magic, out of the blue she produced the Nous report, that was pretty straightforward … sack up to a third of council staff – easily the biggest employer in the city, pretend to be saving money then spend more on outside contractors, who could be blamed for any shoddy outcomes. This document was presented to the then CEO Ray Burton the Unbeliever, who promptly refused to implement the draconian measures against the staff for whom he shared a mutual respect.

Burton wasn’t frightened to stand up to the mayor, who used petty vindictiveness to chip away at him, until he became Burton The Blighted and  announced – in highly technical and bureaucratic language ‘fuck this for a game of soldiers, I’m off,’ and off-wards he went.

‘Not to worry,’ quoth The Rorter, ‘Have I got just the battle-axe for you’. Fluttering into town. with all the stealth and unobtrusiveness of a Chinook landing in Sturt Street at peak hour,  there arrived a Nous-appointed replacement and Labor headkicker as new CEO in the form Adele The Impaler Young, a woman with no experience in running a major corporation like this council, but with a reputation for intimidating with screaming profanity. The Impaler wasted no time in starting to impale on an industrial scale, ramming through the requirements of the Nous report. She was ably assisted by an imported retinue of underlings in fools motley and belled caps, prancing japers like Stephen The Screaming Midget Beckett.

Then the penultimate play – when The Impaler made the error of suddenly believing she was actually the Queen around Walker Street, she lost the resultant bitch-slapping contest, and with an imperious swipe of a mailed glove, Mullet the Magician made her disappear. Last minute fill-ins as CEO faffed about in the job until Mullet the Magician was able to pull of her masterstroke and fulfill her years-old promise – and thus, Prince Ralston the Rorter has slithered into town.

So my dears, before you close your eyes for the sweet dreams all this will bring you, consider this: the architect of the callous scheme that ripped apart the staff and scores of familes on a scale matched only by Clive Palmer, is now earning about half a mill of ratepayer money, and probably promises more of his scything style of management – if he can fit the time in between his board meetings for half a dozen other paid directorships and consultancies (JCU, Mackay Port, Townsville Hospital and so on).

Honestly you wouldn’t read about it in Ripley’s Believe It Or Not … but you have read about it – and, take it from The ‘Pie, you’d better believe it.

Why Did The Mayor Snuff Out Carols By Candlelight?

Screen Shot 2020-11-18 at 9.45.50 am

The announcement that the council’s annual Carols By Candlelight was canned this year ‘because of COVID restrictions and lack of available live acts’ has been met with universal scoffing and infuriated head-shaking. It is an insult even to the average voting dolt of Townsville.

Covid restrictions? The mealy mouthed, lying words of the mayor came just a day or two after 56,000 braying footy fans breathed on each other IN BRISBANE, with no adverse affects reported. That is a major that recorded a plethora of traced corona cases and some deaths, whereas Townsville has had virtually bugger all cases the entire year… the tyranny of distance has in this case served us well. So swallowing this evasive guff was a step too far for even the average gullible Townsville galoot. One of whom wrote a half decent but typically meek editorial on the subject.

Screen Shot 2020-11-21 at 10.07.32 pm Screen Shot 2020-11-21 at 10.08.04 pm

But in true Bulletin style, it failed to follow through in proper journalistic style and ask the one obvious tough question: why was the event REALLY cancelled, madam mayor? And why was it such a rushed decision? AND WHAT COVID RESTRICTIONS? The mayor is unlikely to direct her aerobics class councillors to reverse this deeply unpopular decision, which is surely hiding some other agenda. Even the mayor has admitted that money was involved, but blamed that on a year of covid restrictions … which rolled-gold, nickel-plated, 100% utter bullshit.

So now we are entitled to ponder that if a relatively minor expenditure, one that is usually already budgeted for, has fallen over, then this council is in bigger financial strife than it is letting on. It is now at the stage that the mayor, the new CEO and the council itself must speak up to damp down growing rumblings, particularly in sections of the business community,  that this council has been, and maybe is right now, trading insolvent. And that’s a big no-no.

Blaming covid restrictions for this pointless and anti-family event is complete and insulting nonsense. Surely an administrator in Brisbane must be warming up the car for the trip north soon.

They Wish …

The latest quarterly newspaper readership figures were dropped around during the week, and it there would’ve been a mixed reaction down in the Astonisher bunker.

Screen Shot 2020-11-18 at 3.01.15 pm Screen Shot 2020-11-18 at 3.02.40 pm

There’s clearly been a covid-kick in weekly readership , up 4000 over the same period last year, but –oh, dear, kick the cat someone – the weekend flagship Bulletin has dropped a massive 25% against 2019. And And add to that a nasty little tinkle to the advertising manager’s jewels is the sister paper, the Cairns Post, which is significantly up on both weekdays and weekends. (Also note, though,  the off-the-cliff stats for the Gold Coast Bulletin, losing fully a third of weekend readers in one of the most lucrative property markets in Australia.)

But if you want a cruel laugh at the local paper (and why not, they so heartily deserve it/) have a look at something The Magpie came across when looking for something else this week. This from the Bulletin’s Wikipedia page. Check out the circulation figures.

Screen Shot 2020-11-14 at 10.38.08 pm

Remembering that circulation means the number of printed papers put into circulation, those figures are not only totally fanciful, they never were that high, nowhere near. What they’ve done here is quote the readership figures from about 15 years ago. And don’t think this Wiki page is just something easily overlooked or forgotten about … as you can see, the Wiki page was last ‘updated’ on October 6th THIS YEAR.

Now circulation figures are no longer declared by newspaper, has been just all too grim in recent years, but there was a time – maybe still is – that falsifying circulations figures was punishable by considerable sanction. This is because the claim of circulation was used to set and justify advertising rates. So the sloppy disregard for this public claim of circulations figures may actually be illegal …although circ stats are now a closely guarded secret, it certainly isn’t true. The Bulletin used to claim that eight separate people read every paper (utter crap, and always was, but this is the Bulletin, so if the crap fits … ) so by that standard on the above readership, weekdays are down to under 5000 circulation and weekends are … good Lord … around 4000. And digital subscriptions must be dire, or otherwise we’d be hearing about it – loudly and tediously.)

Here’s the readership outcomes for all mastheads, newspapers, with the big boys including their digital readership.

Think This War Crimes Report Is While Deeply Shocking Is Remote From everyday Townsville Life? Think Again.

Screen Shot 2020-11-22 at 12.41.18 am

While the heart-sickening issues uncovered are yet to play out within the military justice system, there is one matter that hasn’t been broached around here … and that is that Townsville, Australia’s biggest garrison city, is now a possible target for what some self-interested unhinged group will, call retaliation. In other words, a terrorist attack.

This is not unmerited alarmist conjecture. Why would it no be possible for some group to attempt to target say, a night club down on Via Vomitaotrium aka Flinders Street East, hoping to kill or maim Aussie off-duty soldiers, and bugger the collateral damage? (That said, The Magpie has every faith in the security forces deployed in Australia and their spoiling exploits to keep us safe from raving religious lunatics. but raving lunatics don’t give up. And attacks by speeding vehicles used as a killing weapon are hard to predict or counter.)

It is a sobering thought, which you may consider next time you feel like bitching about airport security rigmarole – when we get back to flying regularly again.

The other matter would seem fairly clear-cut.

Under the rules of war agreed to by Australia as well as most other western nations, there is one matter which s yet to be addressed … in the dock alongside the actual perpetrators may well be officers right up the command chain, AND POSSIBLY INCLUDING THE RELEVANT FEDERAL MINISTER AND EVEN THE PRIME MINISTER.

This possibility is courtesy of an international protocol known as the Yamashita Standard, which Australia applies to our defence forces. It is a totally unreasonable doctrine that states a commander can be held accountable for crimes committed by his troops even if he did not order them, did not know about them or did not have the means to stop them. It was successfully formulated and used to convict Japanese commander General Tomoyuki Yamashita at the end of World War 11 over the actions – unknown to him – of some of his troops in the Phillipines. This standard has been used in recent years in trials in the Hague regarding incidents in Serbia.

But unreasonable or not, it IS the Australian standard, too, and will remain so until Canberra suddenly realises what a can of worms it has unintentionally opened. It is a safe bet that the Queensland example of changing inconvenient laws retrospectively will suddenly be all the vogue in Canberra to allow those higher up the chain of command to get off scot free. Certainly those of ministerial level.

And here is an overall look at the possibilities and relevant histories that may affect the judgement of these freshly uncovered war crimes – for that is surely what they were, there is no argument about that, just the implications for all involved. And who is punished.

Katter Gets It Oh-So-Right

The infuriating thing about the Katter Party, especially at state level, (Bob has always been virtually irrelevant at federal level) is that they are a policy mix of the fabled ‘curate’s egg’ – good in parts. Occasionally, in among bad deals and fruit loop policies, up pops an issue that you’d vote for.

With that in mind, Robbie Katter gets The Magpie quote of the week in this article.

Screen Shot 2020-10-20 at 10.39.35 am

In there, Robbie makes this self-explanatory statement about what is called the ‘He Said, She Said’ bill he is introducing to state parliament.

‘We are getting to the point where we there are increasingly hostile and intolerant elements in society that demand that everydat people bow down to their agendas under the guise of political correctness. Our language and our rights are being removed by stealth, and what KAP is doing is trying to put a stop to this.’

An earlier version of the bill was knocked back by parliament, and this one will, be, too, Robbie … simply because the leaders of this assault on language and champions of codified bullying is – of course – the Labor Party.

Trump Is Right …There Is A Leaker In His Camp

Ever had a bad hair day? Then spare a thought for the slowly disintegrating Rudy Giuliani, Trump’s increasingly frenzied chief liar .. sorry lawyer … regarding the election outcome. In a sweaty media conference, Giuliani had a lot of nonsense to say, but no one was listening … they were all looking … at this ..

Screen Shot 2020-11-21 at 11.36.42 pm

Seems it was a genuine meltdown by Rudy, or at least by his dyed hair, which couldn’t handle the sweaty conditions. The ‘Pie did not laugh on the grounds that he does not mock the afflicted (no really, he doesn’t, tee hee hee). But those US satirists, they have no such restraints, as the Trumpanzee sinks slowly into the mire of his own making.

 trump black knight 245661_rgb_768_1 111820chantsr cbr111320dapr 245663_rgb_768 jd111620dapr cjones11182020 245574_rgb_768 20201112edbbc-a 111620voterfraudr 20201116edstc-a Screen Shot 2020-11-17 at 8.50.12 am 20201117edshe-b cbr111720dapr cjones11212020 sbr112120dapr_0 ggiedckheohgpeie 

And there have been many musical tributes and advice to Trump, the latest coming from Joe Biden … someone had a lot of time to put this clever clip together … the piano cutaways are side splitting. All singalong now.

And Finally, Speaking Of Arsesoles

Well, it IS Sunday.



Another week, another litany of lunacy. That includes comments, which you really join have a crack at, it’s almost as much fun as the blog.

And, as mentioned earlier, a donation or two would also be fun … for us all, after all, it is everybody’s Nest.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. Mike Douglas says:

    Great Blog this week Pie and cant wait for more of the adventures of Prince Ralston and Covidicia X1X . No Christmas Carols and by comments from T.C.C. staff a virtual Christmas Party for Council Staff with the Mullet speaking from her air-conditioned Walker St abode saying “let them eat cake ” . Fran O’Callaghans full page in the Astonisher calling on T.C.C.’s Ceo to contact the electoral commission and start the process for her to be the Councillor for division 10 (because thats legislation) and not what Qld labor want and thats to retrospectively change it . Is the Mullet going to waste more ratepayers $ on a legal challenge by Fran because Rockhampton Council has complied and Chris Pineapple Hooper has received his letter of offer from the electoral commission and surely thats a precedent . Tony Blighs social media states he is General Manager” People and Culture ” T.C.C. . Lawyer , People , Culture , for those of you with any dealings with Council lawyer Bligh, with Prince Ralston at the helm he may need a lawyer .

    • Dr of Truth says:

      I heard the cancelling of Christmas Carols was due to international flight arrivals. Apparently, as Santa is coming in from a Covid hotspot overseas, he was unsuccessful in getting a ‘Tom Hanks’ style exemption from the two week quarantine rule. Palladuck is ok with reindeer’s and small groups of up to eight elves, but not Santa on this occasion. Looks like Christmas is going to be a particularly ‘silent’ night this year …….. I’ll just be happy if she lets some bloody water out of the Dam if the wet season Ramps up the way they are predicting !

      • The Magpie says:

        Be careful what you wish for … remember what happened last time.

        • Hondaman says:

          Not really a reply, but just a congrats for the hugely humorous tale about Jenny’s Kingdom of Crime, AKA known as Townsville!! I think this one rates with the best I’ve read, and sadly it is almost certain to all herald some long years of problems for us plebs. Good one Magpie!

    • Critical says:

      Mullet and her boffins didn’t even have enough functional grey matter to come up with an alternative Christmas Carols idea like the Cairns Regional Council. The feeling that this city council really financially and intellectually stuffed just keep getting stronger as each day passes by.
      I notice that other councils have also come up with creative ideas to replace the traditional Carols by Carol light or similar events.


      • Hondaman says:

        Am I correct in thinking that all these events are NOT going on while we await the long overdue Council Budget? I may be wrong on this one, and am confused with Anna’s now definitely well overdue budget promised 2 weeks after the election!

      • casual worker says:

        Maybe, just maybe Jenny doesn’t give a flying fuck about the people of Townsville. This could be some wild speculation on my part but maybe she is using covid as a bullshit excuse. Here’s a question for all you beautiful people out there reading Magpie’s blog. If a mullet with her questionable background can throw down the way it’s going to be to us, the people of Townsville, what chance do we have when the real sharks move in?

  2. Traveller says:

    Ralston has made an art form of ingratiation and doing the bidding of political overlords. That aside what people need to watch for is his expert hand in spinning the wheel of consultancy rewards to mates. The first one to sup at Prins’ table will be Dolan Hayes and his empower group associates. That’s called greasing the palm that feeds you. Watch for indirect engagements of Rabieh Krayem too.

  3. Kirwan Joe says:

    I wouldn’t be too smug if I was Prins. Jenny Trump has a habit of firing staff that disagree with her distorted sense of her own self importance and her inane “strategies”. She is as cunning as a shit house rat and she has a vindictive streak that knows no bounds. Remind you of anyone else?

  4. Pat Coleman says:

    The Australian standard for war crimes is in Division 268 of The Criminal Code Act 1995 CTH. And the offences relating to covering up like state laws start at s268.102 . Commanders are criminally responsible under our own law at s 268.115 here https://www.legislation.gov.au/Details/C2017C00235/Html/Volume_2 http://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/cca1995115/sch1.html

  5. Bentley says:

    Ah, Pie, you’ve made my day. Great blog covering some very important issues. Who is responsible for the so-called war crimes publicity?

  6. Elusive Butterfly says:

    I wonder if this city has a Traffic Light Coordinator?
    Now there’s a title!
    If so, he or she must be a drug-addled, alcohol-riddled moron with a perverse sense of humour, watching on cameras as drivers sit for five minutes at traffic lights while no cars pass through.
    But then, Coordinator is obviously thre wrong word as there is absolutely no coordination in this city’s traffic light system.
    If this shabby system was employed in Melbourne or Sydney there would be rioting in the streets.
    Oh, and, a footnote: Every red arrow in the city should be destroyed immediately.
    They are unnecessary and useless.
    I’m sure the Mayor would agree on that one!

    • Grumpy says:

      Not quite, EB. A red arrow may have prevented this tragedy.

    • Mike Shearer says:

      When the overpass to the TGH and JCU was opened the lights were “coordinated” based on traffic counts but never checked after. I chased around and learned that traffic lights on main roads for which the state govt is responsible re coordinated from a central office who h has CCTV at the intersections. While I spoke to the officer concerned he made changes to the light timings and solved a lot of prob less, and complaints. He told me that the other lights are TCC responsibility and are not coordinated with “his” lights. My impression is that that is still the case.

    • Bentley says:

      There are a few red arrows that are warranted. Very few. The rest are a blight on productivity, patience, and above all our diminishing sense of judgement and spacial awareness. And you are spot on. The lack of coordination of traffic lights is appalling. I wonder more drivers don’t doze off at intersections.

      • Alahazbin says:

        Bentley, You can add to coordination of the lights, the alertness of the drivers. Especially when a green arrow lasts for 15 seconds. Most times only 3 cars get through and the third car is going through a amber. Very frustrating!

        • Alahazbin says:

          As an example: Coming out of Bunnings Domain onto Dalrymple Rd, shoot across to the right turn lane into Nathan St. If you are 4 cars back or more, you have two sequences of lights to contend with.

      • casual worker says:

        Problem is, it takes just the one dickhead to fuck it up for the rest of us. Usually when you have to deal with over the top rules it’s because someone fucked up and we all suffer.

    • German Bratwurst says:

      Excretion Buttocklips, your posts are becoming more unstable. R U OK petal? Either you have had a mental kiniption, have been spending too much time with The Realist, or you have drank too much ‘Jenny Hill Koolaid’? Whatever the cause you are losing the plot. You do not need to worry about traffic lights because you operate on autopilot and can make your way to beneath Mayor Hill’s desk blindfolded.

    • Scientician79 says:

      Actually I think you’ll find a couple of things conspired here, below are my observations over the last several months.

      Around the time of the Stadium grand opening in March the traffic lights in the CBD were all reconfigured with Red Arrows added to numerous intersections and priority given to the Pedestrian Crossings. This it appears was done to make it easier for all the punters to park in the CBD and walk to the new Stadium.

      It had the side effect of throwing all the lights out of sequence, for example where previously you could travel Stanley Street all the way on a green light from top to bottom you now stop at pretty much every intersection.

      Then in April we had COVID, and all the lights were setup to no longer need the pedestrian crossing button to be pushed (Monday to Friday 8am to 6pm) which automatically triggers the red arrows when no pedestrians are in sight.

      My personal favourite are the lights out front of Central School in North Ward which trigger automatically during peak hour and will no doubt continue throughout the school holidays as they did last time. Nothing more frustrating than being stopped at a red light when there are no pedestrians anywhere in sight.

  7. The Prick says:

    Anyone know if we are any closer to the prick? For the virus…

  8. Dr of Truth says:

    The group of chaps I hang around with are all ex ADF. They range from Vietnam Vets, through to tours of Somalia and recent skirmishes. They are all disappointed on how this is playing out, but one thing they all say is that none of them could ever condone deliberately harming an unarmed defenceless person. It goes against their training, and these are very capable soldiers we are talking about. I’ve read through the (redacted) IGDAF report and one thing that stands out to me is that it appears the responsibility does not go far enough ‘up’ the chain of command. One things for sure, plenty of soldiers are going to be hung out and dried.

    • The Magpie says:

      One trusts only those who deserve it will be hung out to dry. But these things have a way of growing a life of their own, and the big danger will be if the Greens and like minded boofheads get involved. This is bad enough without greater division being sown in this country by the prissy self-interested.

    • Jatzcrackers says:

      Dr o T, your Ex ADF mates would know that to compare anyone who’s done a ‘military tour’ with the ADF, to the SAS or ADF Commandos, is like comparing weekend footy warriors to the best of the best in the NRL. Yes, plenty of individuals are disappointed with what happens in war time. One doesn’t let a hunting dog off the chain and expect him to come back when you demand he does so. Most of the whistleblowers and dogooders of ‘justice’ lack perspective with the demands, training and routine of the SAS !

      • The Magpie says:

        Sounds like you are condoning murder of innocent non-combatants, civilians and unarmed shackled prisoners by blood-lust ‘hunting dogs’ let off the chain. If you are, you’re a fucking disgrace. You have been a regular and productive contributor to blog comments, so this view is a massive disappointment to The ‘Pie. If wanting this murderous lawlessness to stop, then for once The Magpie is happy to be called a “do-gooder’ – as are the vast, vast majority of serving and former ADF personnel.

        • Cam says:

          Is it important to note that inquiry has No criminal jurisdiction & the basic tenants of justice ought to apply – innocent until proven guilty.

          Remember the Afghanistan War is our longest & one fought against the most unconventional of enemies.

          If justice is to be truly served, “all” of those complicit (including those who should have asked questions) in the alleged criminal activity ought to have citations and rewards revoked. This includes everyone up to the Prime Minister and Governor General during the period (2005 to 2016) of the alleged war crimes, as the award of citations obviously lacked the necessary rigorous assessment needed to preserve the integrity of awards such as the Victoria Cross. For politicians this means handing back & losing superannuation, benefits etc.

          I am not sure if many of us stop & genuinely think what we ask of our ADF personnel.

          Link to the full public report: https://afghanistaninquiry.defence.gov.au/sites/default/files/2020-11/IGADF-Afghanistan-Inquiry-Public-Release-Version.pdf

          • The Magpie says:

            Totally agree with your assessment, but then you mightily confuse yourself with the last line … what we ask of our defence force personnel is that we pay to train and equip with, appoint strong leaders and go into war zones also equipped with a moral reflection of the society which created them – rules that often make them different to the codes Australians soldiers are fighting to uphold.

            And this matter goes so directly to what sort of society we are, especially in how we react to those NAMELESS perpetrators of certain actions, we will be judged equally in our tribunals outcomes as much as our behaviour in the theatre of war.

            A thought: if such judgement of higher command culpability were retrospective, the very first to be brought down from his false hero’s podium would be America’s favourite lickspittle, the war criminal Robert Menzies. We had no business in Vietnam, which means those Aussies sent there, many just kids and against their will, generally acquitted themselves with distinction, courage and honour – despite the extra burden of pointlessness.

        • Jatzcrackers says:

          I’m not condoning the killing of innocents ever, under any circumstances. Members of the ADF who’ve served on tours obviously witness circumstances that are abhorrent as the villages of innocents and battlefields become the same place.
          For Governments, Military leaders and the media to suddenly become all righteous about the reality of war matters by a very minor number of ADF members is totally hypocritical.
          The ADF is a community, no different to any other community in the world where there’ll always be loose cannons. They should have been weeded out earlier but they’re not.
          I don’t have the answer but I’m not naive enough to believe that all the show of horror to these events is genuine.

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        I don’t think anyone condones it but anyone who is shocked by it is naive and needs to grow up, what the SAS have had to do in Afghanistan is shitty dirty fucking business, carried out by people sent far too many times into this miserable putrid shithole with no clear strategy and no clear outcome, I will save my outrage and disgust for those in command and the governments who sent them there.

        • The Magpie says:

          What the SAS had NOT to do in Afghanistan – in the name of Australia – was ‘murder on suspicion’ anyone who made a frightened sideways glance, or a prisoner who ‘just looked good for it’. It seems we have moved into a very grey moral area where we ascribe courage to those who are simply willing to kill innocent people in cold blood ‘because that’s what they had to do.’

          • Cantankerous but happy says:

            No but its what they felt they had to do, we can’t cast our morals from our lounge rooms on someone else, acting on the front line to what they perceived as a deficiency in many of the newly deployed personnel, that being a reluctance to pull the trigger. Many of the NCO’s did multiple trips, years and years of deployments, enough to fuck anyone’s mental state and moral compass and a disregard for the life of others and their own no doubt. I will not judge them from thousands of miles away and the majority who deployed to fight from the comfort of the air conditioning should not either. The enquiry will run its course and whilst those on the ground who perpetrated these acts will cop the brunt of it all those in command and the govt need to take their share of responsibility, but I doubt that will happen, so the troops will get fucked once again.

          • The Magpie says:

            Do your morals change from room to room, Cankers? ‘Lounge room’ and ‘air conditioning’ et al appear to be mild sneers at people – including The Magpie – that you seem feel should not have an opinion about the behaviour of the men and women we pay to represent us and Australia’s basic values. Just a few soldiers doing the very wrong thing seems to have triggered a small tsunami of ‘what would you civvies know anyway?” There will always be grey areas of right and wrong in war, but there is a definite black area where no one should go. If the enemy doesn’t play by the same rules, that doesn’t mean that countries – like Australia, whose citizens hold themselves as generally a morally superior people – should adopt the enemy’s ‘anything goes’ tactics which they excuse through medieval childish religious bigotry. If we do that, then we’ve lost the war long before the last shot has been fired.

      • Dr of Truth says:

        Jatzcrackers- what you said is a load of rubbish and I would suspect that you would not have the gumption to say it down the local RSL. One of my buddies was a Somali Vet and when I mentioned his name to our Townsville Resident retired Lieutenant General he knew him by name immediately. Don’t underestimate or play down the skills, discipline, courage and bravery demonstrated by our regular infantry.

        • The Magpie says:

          Yes, we should not, and it would be good if commenters recognised the truth of that … the actions under investigation are only a lesser part of the major factor, that over-haul of both training and the middle and top brass is now on the books. It is just sad that events in the report had to be the catalyst to force such a consideration.

        • Jatzcrackers says:

          D of T, the place of weekend discussions on this subject was in amongst a gathering of past military vets so your mindless comment re the RSL is irrelevant. I’m not underestimating anything to do with the ADF at all and it seems that everyone, including you, has a ‘mate’ who is/was this and that in the ADF and the elite forces of same. My view is that the high majority of ADF members both present and passed, are not surprised by the findings of the inquiry. Let’s see who’s actually charged with these crimes and more importantly, how high up the ladder it goes ! Your opinion of my views is at about the same level as your title…laughable !

  9. Robert McNamara says:

    Sorry, I have to agree with Jatzcrackers, In a supposedly ideal world there would never be the killing of an innocent human being, however what the hell do people expect from Soldiers? These folk are trained assassins and killers, it is what they do. When you brainwash a human into taking a life the bounds of normality are crossed. And to single out the Aussie soldiers is palpable. There are deaths in all wars that one could claim sit outside the rules of the Geneva Convention. Give me a break. Do the Taliban abide by rules, did the Viet Cong abide by fair rule of play? FFS. Governments use terms such as ‘friendly fire’, ‘collateral damage’ and how often have we seen a school or hospital bombed to the shithouse by mistake?? When Lesley Stahl discussed U.S. sanctions against Iraq and asked Madeleine Albright about the half million children that have died and is the price worth it, Albright respond with “I think this is a very hard choice, but the price–we think the price is worth it”. What about Hiroshima and Nagasaki – innocent families going about their daily business and they got vaporised. Is that fair? Is that morally correct?

    Sorry folks, hate to drag you into the real world but regardless of your stand on war – people die. Often the innocent. It’s the fog of war. It hasn’t changed in thousands of years and it is unlikely it ever will. If you don’t want innocent people dying then stop starting fucking wars that shouldn’t involve us in the first place. What the SAS has done is very very small in comparison to what our warmongering PM’s and Presidents have sanctioned. Every army in every country has done this, dont single out the Aussie boy’s as some kind of monsters that have committed an atrocity never before seen of or heard of during a war. War is fucked…….

    • The Magpie says:

      So the rally cry is ‘no prisoners’, ‘no innocent bystanders’ (in their own counties), an uncontrolled scorched earth policy that doesn’t allow for any judgement, soldierly discipline or decency, just let ‘er rip. Then you boys come back home and have a laugh with your mates over a beer about you dragged a handcuffed towelhead who had been picked up in an indiscriminate sweep to a quiet corner of the compound, and how he pissed in his kaftan before you cut off his hands and shot him in the head. Ah, yes, those were the days, eh, we had a few good larfs back then, didn’t we, boys? Then you move the conversation on to a heated agreement on the unfairness of the Nuremberg Trials and the executions of soldiers just doing their job in the fog of war. Yeah, war is so unfair. But hey, what’s a bloke to do except indiscriminately kill anything in front of him.

      One thing The Magpie knows for sure, Robert McNamara, if comments in this blog required the writer’s real name, we would never hear from under the rock where you live. Ever, big boy.

      • Robert McNamara says:

        Wow, so you diss me ey. Well what’s your experience in war Mr Magpie, apart from reporting on it with a pen from 8,000 Miles away from the frontline? You put me down yet just like our Politicians you have no idea of what goes on in a war zone. Did you notice my precious comment that “war is fucked”? It’s horrible and unnecessary. My point was that bad things happen in war. Always has and always will. The only way to prevent it is NOT TO HAVE ONE IN THE FIRST PLACE. You mention your sympathy for a towelhead being tortured but you mention none for the 500,000 Iraqi children or the 500,000 inhabitants of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. FFS, you are a hypocrite and you’ve been dumbed down like the general masses, big boy.

        • The Magpie says:

          There’s a classic case of whataboutism, a ‘look over there, not here’ deflection. Like a frustrated child, you play the man not the ball.
          As to having no idea what goes on in a war zone, seems you are nervous about the public actually finding out, a public that has always accepted that defeating the the enemy in any fashion on the battle field is regrettable but necessary – and acceptable.

          You, on the other hand, want to condone the indiscriminate murder and torture of anybody a soldier ‘thinks’ looks dodgy. And you lay claims of superior knowledge that only you and engaged soldiers know what goes on in a war zone – palpable nonsense, but standard for your jumbled thinking – your meaningless ‘War is fucked’ analysis – that means nothing – and the hopeless Mary Poppins view that the answer is not to have a war in the first place. Airy fairy little girly 6th form essay material, that.

  10. Ducks Nuts says:

    It appears those defending the actions of the military under investigation are not currently serving. Speak to currently serving military members and they are aware of a questionable culture in the special forces. This culture is no secret. This report holds no shocking revelations for them. It will however have some devastating effects on families who thought their fathers, brothers and sons were better than this. It’s important to remember only a small group of people are under investigation and not to tar the whole of our armed forces with the same brush.

    • Hondaman says:

      Dead right Nuttsy! at the moment I believe that only 19 Special Forces men are involved in this enquiry, NOT the whole SF and Commando regiments. I have a mate who was in the Regs in Vietnam, and as letters were not censored, some of the stuff he relayed to me was in his own words – ” I can’t believe how cheap human life is here, if you see a Nog walking down a track and you tell him to stop and he doesn’t- you just shoot him.” Modern conflicts where the bad guys don’t wear a different coloured uniform, and get to mix with the locals to remain undetected moved wars into another zone altogether, and I can’t see it changing the chances of innocents being killed! Yes, maybe if our P.M’s didn’t grovel to the USA Presidents (as we are still currently doing,) and we stayed out of shit that is not a concern for our region, we wouldn’t be in the position we are now. War is Hell, and only a fool would glorify it! BTW I was called – up to serve in the Vietnam war, but had/ still have a disability that saw me rejected, in case anyone thinks I’m a pacifist – I’m not! just someone who sees the problems we have from both sides.

  11. Lord Howard Hertz says:

    So, Robert McNamara – good choice of name – by your standards, you will have no harsh words for ISIS terrorists – after all, they are soldiers, aren’t they? They are just young folks – don’t see any of their higher command structure on the frontline – who are humans brainwashed into taking lives. These otherwise happy young people have just been forced to cross the the bounds of normality?

    Or, since you’re making up the rules, do you say their actions do not constitute a war just base inhuman criminality. Sort of like the way the Viet Cong, the Taliban and ISIS have regarded us.

    • Dr of Truth says:

      I have a retired SAS mate and a retired UK SBS (special boat service) mate. Their words to me? We protect people who are unable to defend themselves.

  12. Prince Rollmop says:

    On a much lighter note, I notice with that picture of the Prince he has very veiny hands! Is this from being a good Board member and from ‘being compliant’ to the needs of various CEO’s that he interacts with? Or does he do what many small men do and work out at the gym a lot to try and make themself look larger? Either way he looks like a smiling cheeseball. He is just another political asset. And it is interesting how the word “politics” is made up of the words “poli” meaning “many” in Latin, and “tics” as in “bloodsucking creatures”. Aptly describes the Mullet and friends, including the new Labor politically aligned TCC CEO.

  13. Footy Fan says:

    So according to the NRL integrity unit all the Cowboys staff involved in the bonk in the Qantas lounge shitter affair have no case to answer.
    A senior member of the coaching staff gives prescription drugs to a distraught husband whose wife, a female Cowboys employee, bonked a Cowboys “star” on the way home from a game.
    The Cowboys (and Kangaroos) doctor writes a prescription for the husband without seeing him.
    The Cowboys star’s identity is protected.
    But there’s nothing going on here.
    Oh please!!!!!!!

    • The Magpie says:

      You’re entitled to that view, fair call, but just for the record, the said bonk DID NOT take place in an airport toilet, it took place in the team’s Gold Coast hotel. Twice or more, we are told – well, JT was a fit lad at the time. The media has hung on to the toilet yarn for it’s tut-tut titillation value.

      The NRL’s moral code seems to have more positions than the Karma Sutra … someone is simply accused of say domestic violence and they are sanctioned without proof, but when it comes to an NRL doctor and a club official covering up an otherwise legal misadventure, they loftily find that this was ‘a personal matter’. Very clumsy arse covering.

  14. Elusive Butterfly says:

    German Bratwurst…if you need to post totally unnecessary and unwarranted abusive posts, at least, try … and I know this is difficult for you, to be original.
    The “underneath the Mayor’s desk” things, has been done to death!

  15. Mangrove Jack says:

    As there will be no Carols by Candlelight, instead,

    Townsville City Council, in partnership with Triple M, 1RAR and Townsville Heritage Centre, is proud to present Carols @ Home.

    Take a trip down memory lane as Steve ‘Pricey’ Price hosts performances over the last five years of Carols by Candlelight reeled into one show. Enjoy the show in front of your smart TV, in the comfort and safety of your own home with your family.

    This free virtual family-friendly event will be simulcast right here at 6.30pm on Sunday 6 December.


  16. German Bratwurst says:

    Excreting Buttocksbreath, it’s got nothing to do with ‘originality’, it is to do with ‘factual’. And my little delicate one, you don’t know what abuse is, trust me. Now take those little delicate wings of yours, your Labor ticket and those 3 brown paper bags and head on back to you-know-who’s office.

  17. Old Tradesman says:

    Looks like little Pattie is off to the Gold Coast.

  18. Ducks Nuts says:

    With Lil Patty stepping down from TEL I guess it makes way for that useless plonker Gill to take her place.

    • The Magpie says:

      The moment The ‘Pie read this story, the first thought to flash in to mind was the old saying ‘better the devil you know …’. But there is now the opportunity to re-set and make TEL worth the money we fork out for it, the hunt should be on for a well credentialed, experienced and imaginative CEO. But if goofy Gill gets the job (that’s the hot rumour) then that will confirm this is part of the Rorting Club’s well oiled machine.

      • The Aviator says:

        Just like we knew the Prince had the TCC job, Gill has been lined up for TEL job. It’s all a con job, they will advertise and make it look legitimate but that’s all bullshit. Townsville doesn’t attract good CEO’s, it attracts fuckwits becuase the fuckwits in power say who gets the jobs. It’s incredible that an entire cities economic, tourism and financial well-being can be controlled by a select gang of fuckwits. I’ve had enough.

      • Ducks Nuts says:

        I’d put money on it Mr Magpie. But then I still need to finish eating my hat after the Pons got appointed as the Council CEO

      • Dr of Truth says:

        Little Patty stepping down? Not likely. All this gang do is simply ‘recycle’ themselves. Betcha Gill is in line for TEL, and Patty off to a TCC executive role or a Board placement on one of the Hospitals. Just watch, it’s same old, same old ……

        • The Magpie says:

          If you are going to have a shot, keep up, untruthful One … Hot Lips has announced see is the CEO of the equivalent outfit on the Gold Coast.

          • Non Aligned Worker says:

            Why is Gill still Chair of TEL?
            I was of the understanding that when he resigned from the airport postition he would be no longer be eliigable for the chair position of TEL?
            I have never read the contstitution of TEL so this is an open question.

          • The Magpie says:

            Pretty sure your right, you basically ‘buy’ a seat on the board. since it’s a no sweat position, I would guess the manager of The Ville will be asked, and my second guess is that he will reply ‘You’re fucking joking.’

          • Cantankerous but happy says:

            It will be an easier job than the one here, the Gold Coast has a volume and established market and major players to easily build on, whereas the Townsville market is a dud and has to be built from the ground up, something she was incapable of doing, anyway good luck to her, always like to see people move on to bigger and better things.

  19. Bushie Chris says:

    Wow what a shit stirring, vitriolic diatribe “COMMENTS” you have had this week Magpie. Have been away and only just read this Sunday’s issue. Two questions, if I may:
    1 As you disclose the Bulletins readership figures (which is fair enough), I wonder what sort of numbers you reach with your weekly epistle or is this a commercial secret? At the rate the Bully is going, I can imagine you passing them in the near future.
    2 I was amazed that you did not receive one furious Comment re the ” forgive me does anyone else see Jesus?” tail end joke? Must either mean nobody got the joke or they were too dumbstruck to react. “Self I thought it mildly amusing. Keep up the good work.

    • The Magpie says:

      1. Th Magpie’s Nest readership cannot be commercial in confidence, because there’s nothing commercial about it, no ads and no funding support beyond the generous financial encouragement from some readers in order cover some costs. And the readership is irrelevant, really, it is not how many, but who read this weekly load of old cobblers.

      2. yeah, me too. The Magpie must be losing his touch.

    • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

      You can fuck right off, both of us who read Magpie like most / some / an occasional piece of what he writes.

      • The Magpie says:

        Glad you do, I don’t.
        Malcolm W

      • The Third Reader says:

        “Barely” I am still, and always have been here as well. One of Magpie’s originals. Mostly a silent observer, but occasionally dipping the toe into the comments pond. Always have and always will appreciate good journalism.

        • The Magpie says:

          Indeed, mate, although you rarely do ‘number threes’ in comments these days, The Magpie has enjoyed you occasionally darting in … and your support from way back when The ‘Pie was in the paper.

    • casual worker says:

      Lot of words you pumped out there for just two points. One question against your two points, Who has pissed you off?

  20. Elusive Butterfly says:

    Goodness me, German Bratwurst, your writing is so eloquent.
    So eloquent in fact, you remind me of someone else who writes on here.
    But, I’ll give you a tiny tip.
    It’s “conniption”, not “kiniption.”
    But I’m sure you knew that??
    Now, feel free to continue with your amusing abuse!

    • The Magpie says:

      Sausageman must be having a fit … of the conniptions.

    • German Bratwurst says:

      Elective Bottomsurgery, thank you for the grammar correction. It would seem that you are one of the Bottomfly’s that lives for a few weeks, not a few days, so at least we won’t have to put up with your Hill/Labor words of glorification and admiration for too much longer. You must be concerned that little Patty is leaving, another one of the girls only team departing. Hopefully a male will replace her.

  21. Not the Camp Aide to The GG says:

    The army DID have a leadership problem.

    Simply google “Australian military justice inquiries” and “Military abuse compensation”. You will remember it was Ben Roberts Smith’s father that was originally the judge picked for that one but resigned.

    There were, I think 2 senate inquiries not including the ADFA scandal.

    And the current Governor General, the former CDF, now C-in C , was also heavily criticised for his attitude towards complainants.

    It would be wise to overlay any criminological studies into the mindsets of perp’s of war crimes with the mindsets and subcultures of abusers and those those in leadership roles who allowed it to happen.

    You may find the same psychopathic tendencies existed in both sets of perps.

    • The Magpie says:

      Hey, here’ an idea … they’re so similar in their hierarchical structure and decision-making, why not have the ADF merge with the Catholic Church.

      • Pope John Paul the Fiddler says:

        Hold it right there Magpie, you are stretching a long bow – the ADF isn’t full of kiddy fiddlers, unlike Catholicism Pty Ltd. However you are correct, it would appear that psychopaths, sociopaths and cold hearted criminals are attracted to both organisations upper echelon.

    • The Village People says:

      Did someone say Camp?

  22. The Magpie says:

    Want a mini-scandal in the making? Comin’ right up, sir!!


    The timeline.

    Last week, Mayor Mullet announces her big lie that there cannot be any Carols By Candlelight at Riverway this year, because of covid restrictions. This is, of course, utter tripe. Instead, making it sound like a big win, she simpered that her tech people have cobbled together an unappetising video-sharing event with Pricey to be enjoyed in your own home.

    Now, we all know how woeful the Bulletin is with figures, but seems they can’t even put two and two together. Like, hey, reporter-types (allegedly), your own paper ran stories of outrage at the mayor’s inexplicable decision and her bullshit reason, it even prompted a timid, querulous editorial, evasively describing the no Noel ban as ‘rushed’ (wtf that means in English or actuality is anyone’s guess).

    Then today, Monday, you regaled with a breathless but cheery Bulletin report – in a double page spread, no less – , ‘thousands of people flocked into the (indoor) Entertainment Centre for a big weekend rodeo event.’

    Yes, thousands, and nary a mask in sight, and fuck all social distancing as folks cuddled up the photographer.

    But the penny still hasn’t dropped … Mayor Mullet says covid rules forbid a traditional OUTDOOR family Christmas event , but ‘thousands’ are allowed to pack the Entertainment Centre for a rural hootenanny. Wakey, wakey, Bulletin.

    But wait, there’s more, and this is where it gets even more murky, and maybe questions need to be asked about conflict of interest and possible official corruption.

    Because this has bobbed up on Facebook.

    After beaking around, The ‘Pie could not find any charitiable beneficiary for this decidedly unappetising event, so it appears punters are asked to pony up $120 for a small gastronomic Chernobyl of ‘food’ and listen to a local band of decidely indifferent reputation. So OK, the old rule of a fool and his money are soon partying or something like that. There doesn’t appear to be any limit on numbers for this private, profit-motivated event by a crowd of local party hire people Prestige Hope. But basically, nothing wrong with that, caveat emptor ya know. That is, if there was an even playing field.

    BUT WAIT … even the Bulletin might like to inquire into this.

    The local band Godfathers of Funk is the outfit run by this bloke, Jeff jimmieson, the band’s drummer.


    Yes, Jeff has managed to organise an event for himself and his mates to make a few quid, but somehow couldn’t organise – or wasn’t allowed to – a Carols By Candlelight event free for the families of Townsville.

    Conflict of interest, anyone?

    The mayor is clearly lying through her teeth on this one, (TCC is obviously in deep financial do-dos), but normally, shit house rats are smarter than to let a council executive get away with an obvious scam like this. But then, it has long been rumoured that Jimmieson pretended to run for mayor in 2012, but pulled out after a deal with Jenny Hill, or maybe just ran dead, can’t remember which. Jenny then went on defeat Dale Last (now a state MP) and lo and behold, in a trice post election, there was this long-time loser installed as an a council events bod.

    This really should be brought to the attention of the oversight authorities.
    It wasn’t just the happy yokels at the Entertainment Centre who have been treated to the stench of bullshit, the whole city is permeated by it.

    • Ducks Nuts says:

      It’s not like Jeff’s questionable moral code is something new. Anyone who has dealt with him over the years since he arrived in Townsville to run the show grounds into more debt would know that.

    • Achilles says:

      Is he the same uninspting Jeff who used to bore us shitless on Hubs’ Not The Nine O’clock News on 4TTT?
      He used to cut out the “stuff’ from the bottom of Readers Digest pages and mumble them into the mike. Only a little less entertaining if he’d used the “philosophy” from a desk calender.

      • The Magpie says:

        Not that The ‘Pie knows of, but the old bird vacated Townsville for a few years after the he took leave of Hub and the Little Round Mound of Sound, Lynn Cavanagh (The’Pie’s description of Lynny was the Beach Ball With Tits.)

        But by the description you are giving, perhaps you’re thinking of The ‘Pie.

    • The Magpie says:

      This is becoming a mockery with the Mayor suggesting the Council
      with a few hundred staff couldn’t control the event but yet now we have a
      second private function . Possibly explains why T.C.C. cant build a $1.9 mil
      demountable coffee shop on Castle Hill .

      • The Magpie says:

        Just as a matter of interest … and The ‘Pie asks because voice-wise he is fucked-wise … anybody know anybody at Ray White who will tell us how much this will cost? This ‘community council’ – every single one of them – should be ashamed of themselves, not one with the guts to at least stand up and give the real reason for this deeply offensive and wrong ruling about Carols By Candlelight.
        And thank goodness, Ray White, food trucks! Live music!! All the things Jenny Hill couldn’t find.

  23. Pat Coleman says:

    The carols and stupid stable on the strand must not be funded by the council, or any council. There must be no prayers before council meetings either, you can do that when you caucus .If you believe, that councilors believe , then I believe THAT YOU ARE A FUCKING FOOL. Its purely about votes from the dominant religious community. In a society that is supposed to be democratic and secular, there is no place for religion in any level of government. Save for prosecuting all the perverts and cultist shonks . And think about it, have a look at the voting figures from the last 2 federal elections for the far right which includes ONP, KAP , the splinter groups and hard LNP and Labor right and this is the Christian majority in Townsville. The political representatives of that community have been dog whistling against the Islamic community for decades (All religion is bad) . Then , at Easter and Christmas they want the public to fund them dressing up like fucking ARABs on stage !! FFS NO !

  24. Potty Calf says:

    So they cancel carols by candlelight which is free, so that people looking for a break from on the 2020 nightmare have to go and pay $120 to a Council Manager (and friend of Jenny Hill) for some replacement entertainment. This goes beyond a COI, this is corruptuon, and nothing short of a CCC investigation (long overdue and long been begged for) is necessary. These untouchables have become brazen in their behaviour and really are a sham. Where’s Stirling Hinchliffe, the Slayer of complete Councils? C’mon Stirling, your Labor comrades in Townsville are putting the party under the spotlight!

    On a lighter note, I can see it now – Mullet and the Prince reenacting a scene from Deliverance complete with dueling banjos and paper masks. Welcome to townsville peeps, the Deliverance of the North.

    • The Magpie says:

      If we are to find some symbolism for Townsville in the film Deliverance, go no further than the scene where Ned Beattie is made to squeal like a pig while being rogered by someone who looks like a Magnetic Island Labor blogger.

    • Alahazbin says:

      PC. Dr. Stephen (Smiley) Miles is now the LG Minister

  25. Self-funded realist says:

    I thought there was a corruption enquiry happening/ about to happen? It’s been talked about here since last year. Anyone know where it’s up to?

  26. The Magpie says:

    A spokeswoman for Dr Jeanette Young makes a big announcement.

    • Premier Young says:

      Agh yes, out they trot and both dressed in black looking like they are appearing in a Horse pageant! Of course they are announcing ‘open borders’, the election has been won and they no longer need to destroy Queensland any further for their own selfish political gain. Absolute arseholes.

      • NMD says:

        They are great women, inspiring women and they’ve done a great job keeping us safe from COVID. And Little Patty will do big things on the Gold Coast, you mark my words. Between these three inspiring women and our longserving Mayor we have some truly great women, amazing women, running various aspects of Queensland. May we all sleep well.

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        Yep, I don’t trust the pair of them, I would love to head down to Terrigal for a week or two but a couple of cases in Sydney and up go the borders again and we are fucked and scrambling to get back, will wait a bit I think.

  27. The Magpie says:


    BE SAFE!! Do not try to repair wall sockets yourself. With a fork, especially.

    • Sure Thing says:


      We can’t expect a Benjamin Disraeli or Franklin or Teddy Roosevelt to seek office in the States of Australia, but they are such an ordinary lot. The only one who appears half competent is Gladys Berejiklian, and that is definitely just half and probably not the bottom half, so I am not sure which half contains her brains.

  28. Alahazbin says:

    Little Patty being interviewed on ABC radio this morning by that ‘hard hitting journo’. Michael Clark this morning let her colours slip ( as if we didn’t know) when talking about the state election result.
    “That was a fantastic result”
    Now isn’t TEL apolitical.

    • The Magpie says:

      As they say, and it applies in spades to this voguing plodding show pony, ‘all people bring a little pleasure to others: some by arriving, others by leaving.’

  29. The Magpie says:


    For not properly decking this fuckwit.

    Oh well, at least the voters did the job properly.

    • Dildo Head says:

      Poor old Jason Caustic Soda (aka Dildo Head), what a weak little flower he is. If some schoolkid threw a paper spitball at him he would run off crying. What an embarrassment he is to us alpha males who can fight like Ali and are hung like donkeys…..

  30. NQ Gal says:

    Meanwhile on the other side of the Pacific, the orange ejit hasn’t conceded, but has “instructed his team to participate in the transition process”.

    Maybe, just maybe, after losing over 30 court cases, someone has had a word in his ear.

  31. Polythene Pam says:

    Alan Ramsey has died today ‘Pie – a great Australian political journalist.

    • The Magpie says:

      Indeed, Ramsay was fearless and although dyed in the wool labor and left, always called the shots fairly and wasn’t afraid to take on his own when the erred. For years, he was required in the SMH and Age. He was the ex husband of 7.30s Laura Tingle.

      As you said, one of the great political journalists.

  32. Ducks Nuts says:

    I see Maurie Saurs’ son in law was back in court for filming hospital patient’s and children.

  33. Critical says:

    Jenny must choke when she sees slick professional promotional Utube videos like this video for the Cairns Convention Centre which is currently being refurbished and expanded.


    Why can’t TCC and TEL produce the same high quality Utube videos promoting Townsville.

    • The Magpie says:

      She and Patricia O’Callaghan and the whole corruption self-interested caravanserai should hang their heads in shame … if they had any. This video spells out graphically what we have been missing out on because of poor leadership with vision only for their own advancement.

    • The real Philip Batty says:

      Brilliant video, simply stunning.

      What did Townsville do for the convention centre? Oh yes they scrapped it.
      What did they do to the current entertainment centre? Oh yes they wrote it down to zero value in the accounts , I am convinced that this will be sold for peanuts real soon, and they left it to fester.

      No wonder really is it.

      • Critical says:

        You may not have been following some of the issues behind the expansion and refurbishment of the Cairns Convention Centre but the Centre is home to the Cairns Taipans. The Taipans could not play home games here during the construction works but Taipan management, State government, Cairns Regional Council and others collaborately worked to together to find a pop up stadium and have converted the former Bunnings into a basketball stadium for home games. Taipans will return to the Cairns Convention Centre in late 2021.
        I seriously doubt this level of collaboration would occur in Townsville.

        • The Magpie says:

          Wonder what the local Labor trolls on this blog think now about the man they call Sleepy Bob (Mayor Manning)?

        • The Village People says:

          Well you need a National Basketball Team as a first step Crits and Townsville ain’t got one anymore! I used to enjoy watching the Townsville Crocs go round and that yankee import they called Homicide was a gem!

        • Cantankerous but happy says:

          Whilst at a local Govt level Cairns leaves Townsville in the dark, particularly in regards to development approvals etc, I am a bit over the how good is Cairns compared to Townsville thing. I have been up here for 30 years and heard it when I first arrived and have thought on many occasions myself that Cairns will leave Townsville behind but it has failed miserably to seize its opportunities and in that regard is no different to Townsville, 3 useless state govt members, a town riddled with crime, and few opportunities for its young people who like Townsville have to head south. I think if the crocs were going they would have found an alternative home for a year if required, because the management would have sorted something out, just like the Taipans have.

          • The Magpie says:

            The Magpie uses the analogy with Cairns to highlight how badly we have been let down since His Radiance showed us how to have confidence in our own city back in the late 90s (the Townsville/Cairns thing has been going on for decades, more than 30 years). We should have had a stadium/convention-entertainment and arts centre precinct being built at least 5 years ago, and would hav if it were not for a lack of political will and massive egos. And don’t anyone point to the stadium as an an achievement even remotely connected to Walker St or the Dudley Do Nothings … there was just one person with the clout and the ear (or a grip on the balls) of the enablers, and that was Laurence Lancini. Who loathes Jenny Hill and voted with his feet.

          • The realist says:

            Of course there is no crime in Townsville and the self funded retirees can mingle almost themselves enjoy the heat and run raffles for the kid,s campaign advertising
            Wake up Townsville. You are going nowhere fast

  34. Critical says:

    Sympathy to Gold Coast Tourism if the best applicant was Little Patsy. WTF were the other 300 plus applicants like for this job.

    At least Gold Coast fashion and make-up shops will get an additional customer when she arrives on the Goldy.


  35. Citizen journalist wannabe says:

    The Townsville bulletin is stooped to a new low, even for them. Headline on one of the online articles today “married man rapes HIS blind in intellectually impaired woman.” His, like she’s a fucking a piece of meat that he owns??

  36. Kenny Kennett says:

    Jeff J at it again, eh? Why does that not surprise me. After a questionable episode a few years ago with a Rotary club, JJ left the Rotary club. I heard on the grapevine that he has recently returned. I wonder if said Rotary club is running the bar for JJ’s big gig? Will it end up like the last fiasco with Jimmy Barnes and other bands including Godfathers of fuck that JJ organised and were funded by Rotary?
    The dumping of Carols is disgusting. It is one event each year where the community gets together in their thousands and enjoy a simple celebration. And if there’s a year that we need it, it’s this year.

    • The Magpie says:

      And for absolutely no even remotely justifiable reason. unless Jenny Hill was honest and just simply said ‘We’re broke’.

      • Kenny Kennett says:

        Regarding JJ’s Funky Christmas party, I see that the Ville has their annual Giant Christmas Parties going ahead on Dec 5th & 12th. It will be packed and once they get a couple of drinks in them, there’ll be no social distancing. BUT The Ville have 4 courses and 4 hour drinks package and ‘decent’ entertainment; all for $155 pp. That amount includes GST. I wonder if JJ is also registered for GST and whether it will be passed on like the Brisket and Slaw will be.

  37. Feisty Mouse says:

    Premier Young announcing this morning that QLD borders to Victorians shall be opened from Dec 1. How kind of her, and only 7 months too late!!! Idiots

  38. Pele says:

    I see there is a big hooha going on with Football Queensland after a whistleblower has spilled some dirt about how FQ have pineapples their CEO so that they could give the role to a former Liberal Politican at the double the salary!! Plus the Board chair dipped his hand in to the tune of $44k to help ‘recruit’ the new CEO. Not bad coin for 15 days work. And interestingly, Prince Ralsotons ‘mate’ Rabbi Krapem has set up a crowdfunding Page in support of the whistleblowers! Lots of murky shenanigans going on within a sport that’s meant to be more of an assistance, social building, healthy outdoor promoting lifestyle for our kids and grandkids.

    • The Magpie says:

      When it comes to internal politics, avarice and outright corruption, soccer at the higher levels makes anything that happens in the NRL, AFL and Rugby look like babes in the woods. Not surprising when governing body FIFA sets the example.

      • Jatzcrackers says:

        Isn’t NQ soccers’ GM one Declan Carnes of BOQ fame and who a Judge called a ‘Banking Cowboy’ or words to that affect ?

      • last drinks says:

        Football, not Soccer. Damn Yankee slang. But, in regards to corruption Football has no peers.
        If, you want to know how much money there is in Football, consider this. Either of the worlds highest players, be it Ronaldo or Messi, could pay the every NRL Clubs entire years salaries out of their yearly earnings. The power that some people and Clubs have in the game is astonishing. The talk of a Packer style breakaway of Europe’s biggest clubs have meant that controlling the Real Madrid’s of this world is nigh impossible.
        As for NQ Football, nothing would surprise me. I have seen it all there for some time and it looks like it is continuing according to “Pele”

        • The Magpie says:

          Yankee? Not a chance, mate. It’s been soccer in Australia all The ‘Pie’s lifetime, and started to be supplanted by ‘football’ when the nancy boys wanted to pretend they were part of the big boys overseas. The word originated with the game in England, and is an acceptable general term for the world';s most boring, over-rated, injury-farce game ever invented (basketball comes a distant second).

          From Wiki:

          What’s The Origin Of The Word “Soccer”?
          The word soccer comes from an abbreviation for Association (from Association Football, the ‘official’ name for the game) plus the addition of the suffix –er. This suffix (originally Rugby School slang, and then adopted by Oxford University), was appended to ‘shortened’ nouns, in order to form jocular words. Rugger is probably the most common example, but other examples included in the Oxford English Dictionary are brekker (for breakfast), bonner (for bonfire), and cupper (a series of intercollegiate matches played in competition for a cup).

          Add to that last list ‘fucker’ a term for those who make grand assertions without checking the facts.

          • last drinks says:

            Always been Football, all over the world since the game began, sometimes called soccer like Rugby League is called Footie. Only Yankees call the sport Soccer still. I will back my 54 years involvement of the game over your opinions. Australia did also call the game Soccer but that changed over 30 years ago. Indeed, I was President of a local club when we became a Football Club instead of a Soccer Club.
            Also, the reason that you find it boring , is that it is a cerebral game, played in 3 dimensions and with subtleties obviously beyond your avian comprehension.
            Add to that ” F***wit ” a term for those who make grand assertions without knowing the facts.

          • The Magpie says:

            Better apply that to people – usually inebriated – who just makes things up for themselves. Trust you will be in touch with the three or four sites The ‘Pie googled and correct their error with your superior knowledge. Of course being in the game you would use the term ‘football’ … nothing wrong with that, and indeed it is a game most suited to use the word ‘foot’ in its title … sadly a word that is also associated with your mouth. But Australians, in The ‘Pie’s 75 years, have always said said soccer because if one says ‘I’m going to the football’, it has always meant League, Rugby or Aussie Rules. You can puff up your self-importance up with being associated with the game (no doubt hoping for a brown paper bag sling the game’s administrators are so renowned for), but that doesn’t mean you have been associated closely with the language English … obviously. This despite a fair bet is that you are one of that pestilent substrata known as a Whinging Pom – bit young to be one of the old Ten Pound Tourists, but maybe your parents were.

            However, The ‘Pie thanks you for making him now comprehend that all those rioting thugs in England, on the Continent and in South America who turn the terraces into often fatal war zones are in fact only indulging their cerebral opinion of a game of three dimensions and great subtlety. No chance they regular riot because they are BORED SHITLESS?

            You are a wanker extraordinaire, as well as a drunk.

          • Achilles says:

            “Injury-farce game” That’s an understatement I’m surpised that there has not been an Oscar awarded for some of those hack-kneed perfromances.

          • The Magpie says:

            It me shadow wot done it, ref!!!

        • Pele says:

          The only ‘ball game’ you know of ‘last drinks’ is the game of pocket billiards that you play with your Labor buddies and Council shonks. And if you did have an involvement in soccer it would be ‘fixing’ and rigging matches only. It’s plain for all to see that your last drink was in fact two pints of Jenny Hill Koolaid and it has now poisoned your brain cells.

  39. Al says:

    Pie, I think your last comment hit the nail square on the head.

  40. last drinks says:

    Never was a big drinker, have not touched a drop of alcohol in eleven years. My Grandparents. Family 1( Irish) came to Australia 1851 and to Townsville 1872, Family 2, (Welsh) came to Townsville 1873,
    Family 3 ( English ) came to Townsville 1878. Family 4 (English ) came to Townsville 1919.
    Once again, your facts are wrong Magpie. But it’s alright. It is ok to make assumptions, just unfortunate when your assumptions turn out to be crap.

    • The Magpie says:

      Not to big on reading, either are you? What facts did The ‘Pie state about you lineage? And with that sort of background, you have now been here long enough to stop whinging. Most certainly applaud the no drinking and rescind that part of the comment, but you’re still a wanker.

      • last drinks says:

        R.I.P. Maradona, arguably the greatest footballer that ever lived.

        • The Magpie says:

          A wonderful athlete, shame he will be remembered as one of the game’s most celebrated cheats.

          • Molly9 says:

            Gotta laugh, the intellectually challenged aren’t restricted to Townsville – reported in this afternoon’s online Courier Mail that many thought Madonna had died, not reading Maradona.

  41. Cantankerous but happy says:

    I see the courier mail has a new online format, but one little thing is missing, the restricted content symbol no longer appears on stories, so you can’t tell anymore until you click on it and get the subscriber only pop up to tell you, what a pain in the arse. Given even the most generic of stories available anywhere else for free, seem to be behind the paywall it would be fair to say unless you are a subscriber might as well delete the Courier Mail from bookmarks entirely.

  42. The Magpie says:

    GOT HIM!! At last.

    White shoe fraudster and all round grub Craig Gore gets two years behind bars for his dodgy, thieving financial escapades.

    • Jatzcrackers says:

      Hope someone gave him an early Christmas present of soap on a rope !

    • Wolf of Wall Street says:

      2 years isn’t enough for this smiling parasite. Very relaxed at his sentencing, probably because he has already paid for some protection or he will be let out at Xmas. At least he copped something, unlike the real white shoe brigade on Wall Street from which not one of the fuckers went to jail after the GFC 2008 crash. Not one of them! Outrageous.

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      Is it really two years, or will he be out on parole by Easter?

      • The Magpie says:

        When its ordered five to do two, that’s generally it. The really good part of this is that he is out of the finance shenanigans for good in Australia, but when he hooks up again with his Swedish missus, unless she’s run off with her masseur, he live in Sweden no doubt. On the other hand, he might find true love in the slammer’s showers, and give her the shove. BTW, the missus is no innocent bystander, and the ATO is still wanting to talk to her about financial fancy footwork, so back to Oz for the odd conjugal visit isn’t on the cards.

  43. The Magpie says:

    The ‘Pie hears Les Messagebank Walker was in tears for most of his maiden speech in Parliament today. Tears of laughter at the suckers who landed his well-larded arse on the government plush. Talk about tears of the clown(s).

    • The Wulguru Wonder says:

      More like the classic “Send In the Clowns” by Stephen Sondheim.

      I read the Messagebank has been appointed the “hydrogen champion” for North Queensland. Talk about lighter than air and full of gas. I couldn’t think of anyone more qualified.

      Serious question however. We seem to have a government of Ministers, Assistant Ministers, Committee Chairs, and now “champions”. Does being a “champion” mean more money for Messagebank?

      • The Magpie says:

        Very good question.Smacks of ‘mummy’s little helper’ syndrome, but not all mummy’s little helpers get extra pocket money, unless mummy’s into emotional bribery. Hmmm …

        • Mike Douglas says:

          Very timely as Origin has unveiled plans for a Hydrogen export plant in Townsville . Sun Metals hydrogen and one other hydrogen project tba .

          • The Magpie says:

            Timely to do what? And what exactly does the ridiculous title of ‘champion’ actually mean? These projects are good news, certainly, but they are done deals. And allowing this dilatory boofhead anywhere near real decision making would be … as he has proven time and again – a disaster waiting to happen.

            And Townsville’s juvenile crime wave is again ignored.

          • Cantankerous but happy says:

            “ What’s this button for” asks messagebank with his hard hat on during a photo opportunity, prize fucking dunce will probably blow the whole thing up.

      • The realist says:

        Is hydrogen warm noxious gas. Are the champions full of it

  44. Dave of Kelso says:

    The Rasmussen Puma garage is closed with temporary fencing around the driveway. With the arrival of two new garages in the area, the resultant price drop and the RACQ discount, it had the most economical fuel in town.
    Anybody know what is happening?

  45. George St says:

    The kid is building a profile and appears to have started well , always in the media , building his profile but then this comes from the blue


    A bonk ban . I am not aware of any rumours or issues in the LNP camp

    Could it be a strategic strike for something against the government in the future. I wonder what the Attorney General and Minister for Justice and Member for Waterford thinks about it

  46. Dave of Kelso says:

    Bloody excellent and I wish them well. Image if all the victims of Catholic clerical sexual abuse sued the Pope. Perhaps the message might sink in.

    My greatest criticism is for those compliment church going Catholics who, in the light of all that has been revealed, still look left and right and maintain, nothing to see here.


  47. Pope John Paul Fiddler the third says:

    Firstly, the Catholic Church is not a religious organisation. It is a business institution, a money making enterprise. Secondly, it is an ‘organisation’ that has set itself up with protective mechanisms internally and externally that shield it from being exposed to many aspects of common law which in turn is the perfect attractant for lawbreaking child rapists who don’t want to get caught and go to jail. The Pope is the head of a sick, perverted, greedy middle fiddling business that is a pox on society. Get rid of thes parasites. Society does not need them. I hope one day their little protective Vatican ‘state’ is torn down, every cent of their finances distributed to the poor and every one of the ‘executives’ and kiddy rooting Priests are hung, drawn and quartered.

    • The Magpie says:

      And they don’t pay tax. Pretty caftans and mumus, though.

      But why single out the Catholic Church?

      • Pope John Paul Fiddler the third says:

        Because they are by far the worst. Whether that’s because they are one of the largest denominations, I’m not sure, however they certainly seem to have the most amount of Priests who are constantly in the media
        getting charged with sexual misconduct with boys.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Indeed, living by their own rules, immune from public scrutiny, raking in billions whilst pretending to give a fuck about the poor, sounds like the union movement.

Post a Comment

The Magpie encourages all to take part in the discussion and let their voice be heard.
In order to post a comment, you must provide a name. While you don't have to use your real name, it should be something unique so users can identify you in the discussion. Generic names like “Anonymous” will likely result in your comment being ignored.
Let the discussion begin!

Current ye@r *

Countdown until the next council election:

-337Days -7 -28 -21