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The Magpie

Saturday, November 13th, 2021   |   219 comments

And The Week’s Cunning Plan Golden Handcuffs  Award – Sponsored By Baldrick – Goes To …

… Mostafa Baluch, Australia’s most wanted drug czar – his face is red and his arse is grass. His capture at the Queensland/NSW border has brought a wave of delight into the mostly grim daily news cycle. The nation is still laughing.

As Nino Cullotta said, we’re a weird mob – we hit the streets to protest just about anything … but this week, we remained curled up on the couch with a cuppa when the government announced it was LITERALLY mandating corruption by MPs. This is not hyperbole or exaggeration. The Magpie is at a loss why a small news item earlier this week wasn’t front page, had editor’s temple veins throbbing,  and had ordinary citizens reaching for their pitchforks.

Drama queens as sport reporters … what was supposed to be the Cowboys’ vaccination drama was really pure farce … the flouncing was fascinating but it was all untrue twaddle. Yes, of course, it was in the Bulletin.

Who said there were never any happy endings? Cynics like The ‘Pie who believe nothing much ever ends well had to admit that a heinous episode that shocked the world reached a new milestone of courage and defiance during the week … it’s a rare event when you hear the over-worked word ‘heart-warming’ in these parts, but there’s always an exception and this be it.

… and Zoomers versus Boomers …. US funnyman/philosopher Bill Maher continues to prove that he can cut through the bullshit with laser like humour and logic. Like many of us, Maher is finding the hypocrisy of Gen Z and the Millenniums a tad tedious and a lot hypocritical. He skewers them like a snag on a Bunnings barbie.

And The Magpie goes back to his roots (cue vapid jokes yeah, yeah, hur hur yuk yuk, piss orf), and decides there isn’t enough of the old Magpiesque fun in the blog anymore … so he indulges in a centuries old sport … Froggie bashing … and we ain’t talking cane toads here, folks.

And here’s a commercial break to give you a chance to stagger off and get a refill of your breakfast crème de menthe. Hopefully, you may then become shickered enough to shed your inhibitions and abandon all embarrassment about sending a much needed donation to help the Magpie’s Nest’s never diminishing household budget. The required button to click is at the end of the blog. Thans (hic) kew.

Now let’s get rolling.

It Was The Ultimate Knock-Knock

Mostafa Baluch

Mostafa Baluch

Accused drug lord and all round grub Mostafa Baluch has another reason to hang his head in shame now; he’s now not only an anti-social arsesole, he is also now rated the dumbest anti-social arsesole.

And, oh dear,  it had started out so well, too.

On the run from the heat in Sydney, Mostafa organised to be secreted away in a Merc that was being transported in a container on the back of a truck from NSW to Queensland, from whence he planned to fly off to parts unknown overseas. Surely, not even the sniffer dogs could find him? But he hadn’t counted on the COVID cops being out in numbers, and this mastermind came undone when an inquisitive cop banged on the side of the truck … and he banged back! One wonders if Mostafa had sparked up a doobie to while away the trip, or had a hooter full of Peruvian marching powder at the time.

Seems our man thought he’d reached his secret departure lounge, and signalled to have his container unlocked. Unfortunately, the wallopers were a bit sus about the container because was already unlocked. As he does, Bentley summed up the nation’s hilarity at the unbelievable gotcha.

Mustafa small

One can imagine the yelled jokes echoing around the cell block after lights out at Long Bay.

From The Belly Laugh Of The Week To The Belly Flop Of The Week

Smirko’s high platform pike, spin and double twist on radio a couple days ago, suddenly became a massive bellyflop with the jaw dropper of the week.

Screen Shot 2021-11-12 at 8.54.29 pm

One reader noted; It’s mastery of the language that’s next level… three lies in six words.

Same sentiment here:

image0

Others weren’t in the mood to waste words.

FD4pED7VIAwbiAfHere’s A Serious Question

From comments

The Magpie

Can you believe these ducking aunts? This is every politician’s wet dream, and CANNOT be allowed to stand … it is encouraging and admitting corruption is going to happen.

The ‘Pie may have missed it, but he couldn’t find a mention of it anywhere much else (that was from the Courier, about page 4 or 6)

If the mainstream media snoozed on, twitter lit up. A sample.

Screen Shot 2021-11-08 at 10.20.48 am

This really does bear watching … in the first instance, to see if it is actually passed into legislation, and then an unwavering eagle eye on all our dealings with the second most corrupt global sporting organisation. (Even the Olympics can’t hold a candle to the blatant gouging, thieving, extortion and corruption of FIFA.)

The Olympics are shaping up as one of this country’s most avoidable, unnatural disasters.

One From The Shallow End Of The Gene Pool

As regular readers know, The ‘Pie steers clear of most sporting matters, leaving that to the News Ltd zoo and it never ending cacophony of grunts, mewlings and moon-howling. But the sporting pages always draw his attention when they present pure fabrication and piss poor selective reporting to stir up the natives. Thus, this during the week.

The Magpie

November 12, 2021 at 2:28 pm  (Edit)

You’ve been sucked in, folks – by the greatest non-story of the day, for which the Astonisher should be ashamed. A pathetic attempt for a  panicked readership.

First, boofheaded reporters Peter Badel and Brent Read start out with a blatant lie.

That’s just pure poppycock, and after waffling on breathlessly about non-existent emergency board meetings to examine ‘options’, we then read this.

That’s towards the second half of this non-story: so Taumalolo had been holidaying in the NT and hadn’t thought anything or was particularly aware about get vaxxed by certain date – well, he is a footballer, after all … he certainly has not express any anti-vax sentiment, at least not in this article. or anywhere else that The ‘Pie can find. AND more to the point, the Cowboys’ management are NOT concerned, let alone their ‘power brokers’ having ‘urgent discussions’.

So reporters Abbot and Costello clumsily ducked and weaved around the fabricated issue that Taumalolo might be dropped for not being vaxxed, which is pure manufactured horse shit … it is clear there is no such dilemma. Well not yet, and there won’t be unless The Big fella turns out to be a religious nutter, in which the Pacific islands specialise. (Of the 15 players hestitant or straight out refusing vaxxing, more than half are from Pacific islands.

Piss poor and glaringly dishonest effort and yet another credibility issue for the Astonisher.

Speaking Of Piss Poor

The Magpie

Is it just The ‘Pie, or is there something deeply distasteful, disrespectful, and out of touch with this front page of today’s Townsville Bulletin?

Our fallen get equal billing with a furniture flogger?

DISGUSTING.

  • The Magpie

    It’s a wonder they didn’t put a jokey headline over the ad – You called, we served.
    And you know why they didn’t? Because they didn’t think of it.

    What bastards.

In Passing

The ‘Pie always loves mentioning when a name suits the job or the award. Two this week.

From the Federal Government’s Australian Biosecurity Awards 2021

Dr David Banks Biosecurity Lifetime Achievement Award

  • Dr John Virtue

No doubt a patient man of mature age.

And this gal deserves an award for meeting a challenge head on – or at least ummm … muddling through.… and have to admit, she looks kinda organised, in a Madam lash-ish sort of way.

Muddle Screen Shot 2021-11-13 at 8.12.55 pm

And there was a bitter irony in this one …

Queensland Tourism Awards

The Richard Power Award for Tourism Marketing and Campaigns

Scenic Rim Regional Council (‘Welcome to the Richest Place on Earth, In Australia’ Campaign)

…Richard being the founding father of Townsville Enterprise, when it was a valuable functioning adjunct to the city’s progress. Sadly, nothing within cooee of Townsville featured in this year’s Tourism awards … Paronella Park behind Innisfail was the nearest. Well done,  Dudleys.

But then there are those who shall rename nameless … well sur-nameless anyway.

The Magpie

November 9, 2021 at 1:50 pm  (Edit)

Peter Dutton denies paternity, threatens to sue over suggestion it looks like a chip of the old block. ‘I haven’t been to New Zealand for years,’ he said.

Lot of chups in thet spud, eh?.

Taking The ‘Peas’?

 Well, doesn’t take long does it? As you may have heard, the French president whose name sounds like kitchen disaster (oh, merde!! Eet est collaps-ed!! Eet est no longer un macaroon, eet est jest un Macron)  threw our PM on the barbie for a grilling  (Do I theenk he lied? I don’t theenk eet, I know eet’ he said, uncannily channelling Inspector Closeau.

Within nano-seconds, social media had revived the occasional sport of French bashing. Over the years … nay, even the centuries …  this sport of giving Pierre a pasting has waxed and wained in popularity depending on whether the French have been agreeable or not to other’s ideas of how they should behave.

Remember when the Frogs decided to keep their legs at home and declined to join the now discredited Bush ‘Weapons of Mass Distraction’  jamboree? That’s when the outraged Americans revived the anti-French vitriol, even renaming the humble fried spud ‘freedom fries’ instead of French fries. That’ll larn ‘em, a good ol’ boy from Tennessee had gloated into his Courvoisier.

But vilifying a whole nation for not going to war is a very different kettle du poisson to vilifying a foreign leader for lying in a business deal. I mean, Macron made it sound like a politician lying was newsworthy, clearly showing his ignorance of the Washington/London/Canberra Code of Ethics … geez, donneze moi un break, mon frere. 

And so bash away we did, with the main thrust the incorrect assumption that the French are a cowardly, unsavoury bunch.  Mark Twain got the ball rolling more than 130 years ago when he declared:

‘ France  has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.  France  has usually been governed by prostitutes.’ 

But it took a few decades for the cowardly tag to take hold, with the French unwillingness – apart from a courageous underground movement –  to  fight the Germans in WW11 fuelling an enduring trope. NB Monsieur Macron, sil vouz plait: one of the French Underground heroine’s was one Nancy Wake, the legendary White Mouse  … she was born in New Zealand, but was an an Aussie, sport, therefore a  genuine ANZAC, if means anytheeng to you.)

“French Defence Compromised: Fire Destroys White Flag factory” sets the tone for this Gallic pile-on.

General George S. Patton  wasn’t impressed: ‘I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me.’ 

Another famous General, Norman Schwartzkopf who despite the name, was an American, was just as dismissive: ‘’Going to war without  France  is like going deer hunting without your accordion.’

And there is the scorching contribution of the ever courageous Anonymous: ‘’War without France  would be like .. World War II.’ 

Someone named Alan Kent sounded like he was related to Clark when he made the point: ‘It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us.’

A nation whose motto is borrowed from 60s hippies, Make Love Not War, prompted one critic to explain why they didn’t want to go seeking out terrorists: ‘They’ve taken their own precautions against al-Qa’ida.    To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house.’ 

This list is endless, and although it based on a flimsy premise, who can not have a belly laugh at the fake newspaper report:

French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney 

(AP), Paris , March 5, 2003 

The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.

But for all that, we still flock (well, do in normal times) to Paris because we love it, we love the food, we love the wine, and if footloose and fancy free, and we get lucky, we love the love … which will be the reason that for all the sniping, the French will count la loot , give an archetypal Gallic shrug and murmur ‘c’est la vie  … baiser mon derriere, mate.’

Feeling The Heat

If our own Smirko presided over a exquisitely tailored clusterfuck in his Glasgow fiasco, Biden too has done the dirty on those seeking leadership in the climate crisis. There’s a cosy deal with China, an unexpected development but the benefits are yet to be properly evaluated by independent experts But the President isn’t being let off the hook, and has copped a domestic hammering. It has all added to the perceived disintegration of the Democrats and features as part of this week’s US gallery.

Screen Shot 2021-11-09 at 9.22.13 am Screen Shot 2021-11-13 at 9.53.39 am Screen Shot 2021-11-09 at 9.23.28 am Screen Shot 2021-11-10 at 10.46.42 am Screen Shot 2021-11-11 at 9.07.47 am Screen Shot 2021-11-11 at 9.05.40 am Screen Shot 2021-11-10 at 10.47.28 am Screen Shot 2021-11-09 at 9.25.11 am Screen Shot 2021-11-09 at 9.26.47 am Screen Shot 2021-11-09 at 9.24.02 am Screen Shot 2021-11-09 at 9.24.19 am Screen Shot 2021-11-13 at 9.51.43 am Screen Shot 2021-11-13 at 9.53.04 am Screen Shot 2021-11-12 at 9.49.26 am Screen Shot 2021-11-11 at 9.05.59 am

Bill Maher Takes a Surgical Social Scalpel To The Generational Whiners

Bill Maher Screen Shot 2021-11-06 at 10.44.00 pm

And boy, does he settle their hash … unmissable if you want a clear picture of hypocrisy and materialism of the Millenniums and those little barking bastards Gen Z.

Finally, Let Us End On An Uplifting Note

The ‘Pie’s dislike of mawkish reporting of mawkish stories is well known to you regulars here, but he will admit to a small attack of the mawks himself when he read the about a certain marriage (a subject and condition he has studiously avoided for decades).

The ‘Pie well remembers his helpless rage and wild thoughts when he read about the cowardly attack by a Taliban neanderthal on 15-year-old Pakistani schoolgirl Malala Yousafzai. She was shot in the head and two school friends with her were wounded. Their crime: being educated. Malala eventually came out of a coma, recovered, and went on to achieve the most satisfying revenge against the medieval religion that sanctioned her attack. She brought the plight of women under the Taliban into sharp focus, addressed the United Nations on her 16th birthday (the UN declared July 12 as Malala Day), became a champion of girls and their education, and studied at Oxford, graduating with a Philosophy, Politics and Economics degree last year.

Screen Shot 2021-11-13 at 8.57.20 pm

Well, a few days ago, we learnt of the latest milestone for this truly remarkable woman. This report and pics from Vogue.

malala wedding Screen Shot 2021-11-10 at 10.11.28 am

Congratulations are in order for former British Vogue cover star Malala Yousafzai, who has confirmed in an Instagram post that she is married. “Today marks a precious day in my life. Asser and I tied the knot to be partners for life. We celebrated a small nikkah ceremony at home in Birmingham with our families. Please send us your prayers. We are excited to walk together for the journey ahead.

Malala wedding Screen Shot 2021-11-10 at 10.11.40 am

The girls’ education activist, University of Oxford graduate is the youngest Nobel Peace Prize winner in history”.

The ‘Pie doesn’t care if he’s getting soft in his later years, but this made him feel good …. what a inspiring woman.

……………

The week’s are flying by, and the comments are coming fast and furious … well, some are furious, others are funny and clever, while other offer unexpected insights and info not to be found elsewhere. Of course, some are just stupid too, but The Magpie’s church is a broad one, join in if you like. And as with  churches, a collection plate is always doing the rounds, in this case, it is in the form of the donation button below. Voluntary, of course, but bless you anyway.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.

219 Comments

  1. Mike Douglas says:

    So we could have opened the Queensland border and reduced restrictions if the Premier had mandated earlier that you couldn’t go to the pub , football , State Governmemt owned arts centres if you were unvaccinated . So bride and groom have to get vaccination updates for wedding attendees and if they invite an unvaccinated person they have a 20 person limit . Brisbane will possible start water restrictions as soon as next month as the dams that supply the City are at 50 % . Don’t worry , they have the Olympics .

    • Nickster says:

      Qld Border closed to protect the unvaccinated from the vaccinated….

      NSW COVID-19 vaccination rate ( 16 and over) – first dose = 94.2% & Fully vaccinated = 91.0%

      QLD COVID-19 vaccination rate (16 and over) – first dose = 81.7% & Fully vaccinated = 69.9%%

      Australian vaccination rates double dose / fully vaccinated are very high & NSW is exceptional compared to the rest of the world – UK = 74%, Germany = 69%, Singapore = 87%, France, 75%, USA = 67%, Australia = 75%

    • Addled says:

      Mike, are you saying Brisbane should not have water restrictions?

      • Guy says:

        How will rich property developers make money without water restrictions. The more people, the less water ( and power) to go around.

        Just make water and power much more expensive.

  2. The Real Brandon says:

    Scummo reached an all time low when he lied about not lying. Politics is up there with used car dealers, real estate agents and dodgy backyard mechanics when it comes to fibbing. I’m hoping that this summer at the cricket, then at the tennis and then at the football we will see crowds cheering “LETS GO BRANDON, FUCK SCOTT MORRISON” very very loudly. I can also hear it being chanted loudly at concerts, in church, at Bathurst and at election booths next year. So what do you think folks, will “LETS GO BRANDON, FUCK SCOTT MORRISON” sweep Australia? Will it start with The Magpies Nest? Yes, start here, in Townsville, today??

  3. The Magpie says:

    What … wait? The ‘Pie might be a bit thick but he thinks that should be …. ummm … thick?

  4. NQ Gal says:

    Nancy Wake was the White Mouse. Otherwise another excellent column Mr Pie!

  5. Elusive Butterfly says:

    Just for your records, Mr. Pie, Nancy Wake was actually a Kiwi!
    I think her Maori blood explains a lot about her remarkable World War 11 exploits!

    • The Magpie says:

      Wake was born in Wellington, but was brought to Australia at age 20 months. She was most certainly an Australian, witnessed by the fact that she was eligible to run for federal parliament, which she did – unsuccessfully – twice. That’s a privilege open only to Australian citizens. However, have amended the mention to reflect the fact that by birth and by citizenship, Nancy wake was a true ANZAC.

    • F Wit says:

      WRONG AGAIN BUTTER-FLOG! BTW, where’s your retraction of that ridiculous statement about the PM attending Berts funeral service.

  6. Cantankerous but happy says:

    The French were actually fairly successful at war for a long time until a couple of things fucked them up, the first was their failure to adapt to warfare with a rifle and the second was Otto Van Bismarck who flogged them time after time and they have just capitulated ever since.

    • Addled says:

      “Capitulated” is curious terminology. In the years since WW2, Australia has probably ‘capitulated’ more often than France – in Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, Syria and Afghanistan – but I guess we aren’t counting. At least under Howard and Downer we gave Timor Leste a good touchup on behalf of Woodside and Downer got a nice backhander for his trouble. Don’t ask how though, it’s a secret.

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        Check your history fuckhead, the invention of the repeating rifle or Bismarck have zero to do with WW2, moron.

        • Addled says:

          ” . . . the invention of the repeating rifle or Bismarck have zero to do with WW2,” and nothing to do with what happened after it.

      • Grumpy says:

        Adds, if we sat back and allowed the Viet Cong, Daeshe or the taliban to march across the Sydney Harbour Bridge, then we would have capitulated.

    • Frog says:

      It may have had something to do with the uniforms they went into World War 1 in – blue jackets and red trousers are not the best for that style of warfare.

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        Yes, and that at the start of WWI the French Army HQ did not have any telephone communication at all. Every thing on paper delivered by motorcycle riders.

        They (and the British) also failed to understand the employment of, and defense from, this new thing called a machine gun.

        All this reminds me of a certain Southern Hemisphere island nation with such a forward-looking government that there will be a 20 year submarine capability gap. About as satisfactory as a 14 month wait for access to a maternity suite.

      • Achilles says:

        French army surplus store is having a sale of bolt action rifles.

        “Never fired and only dropped once”.

        • The Magpie says:

          oldies are goldies, The ‘Pie managed to avoid this one.

          • Addled says:

            Here’s a new one that hits the spot:

            “I find it very suspicious that Covid seems to only be targeting people who didn’t get that ridiculous vaccine. Has anybody else noticed this? Why is the virus only killing those who stand up to the government jab all of a sudden?”

          • Grumpy says:

            Oh, Adds, if it were possible, I would give you a “Like” for that.

      • Achilles says:

        Interesting about uniform colors. near the end of WW1 (April 1918) the Royal Flying Corps was upgraded to a specific military unit; the RAF and they were issued with powder blue uniforms.

        The reason for this uniform colour was the the cancellation of an order for loads of bales of fabric by the now extinct Russian royalty ready for shipment in Liverpool.

    • Bagwhan says:

      When it comes to modern post colonial warfare, the French are a fickle bunch. Having fought for them in two world wars, against them also in one of those wars (Vichy French in Syria), I think their nom de guerre used by their Commonwealth ‘Allies’ of Cheese eating surrender monkeys is being unkind to monkeys!

      • Achilles says:

        I recall my late uncles’ view of the French, he was a Japanese POW (Singapore) and was sent to Japan via Vietnam. He said the frogs jeered and taunted them, as they sat in their street cafes, making fake toasts and cheers.

        It was unwise to mention the French within his hearing.

    • Guy says:

      Napoleon

      An army officer that takes over when the French military overthrow the Republic. He does ok for a while, the French army have success against the European powers.

      The problem with Napoleon and a military governing class is they start using the military and the resources of a nation to wage successive wars because that’s the only trade they know. The Spartan kings suffered from this too.

      The French fought the English in the hundred years war before finally winning.

      Before we start crowing , Australia hasn’t won a war since Malaya under British control in the 1950s. That jungle war was win because the British military still understood strategy. Australia is slowly becoming a less cohesive society – we won’t be winning any more wars.

      • Kenny Kennett says:

        You are just ridiculously stupid, Guy. Australia just won the T20 World Cup and, Remy Gardiner won the Moto2 World title. Both in one day. FFS Guy, what else do you want a country of 28 million to win? We are but a band wagon passenger in real Wars. But in cricket our Waughs certainly should go down in history as victories. And David Warner also kicked arse in the most recent battle.

        • The Magpie says:

          Really tough luck so many of those carefree bandwagon passengers get killed, isn’t it? Suggest to pop along to the RSL … or any pub for that matter … and expound these views, they will met by a most interested audience.

          • Kenny Kennett says:

            Agree but what I’m saying is we don’t create the conflict on our own, we join the larger allies who are the main aggressors or defenders. We instantly lose any war when we lose a life. To think we can go it alone is ridiculous, even to stir the pot as a nation on our own is ludicrous. My respect for the RSL and our forces is as high as anyone else’s. My comment was more a tongue in cheek at a twat who said ‘Australia hasn’t won a war’ etc. Just sayin’.

          • The Magpie says:

            “We instantly lose any war when we lose a life.” In one meaningless 10-word statement, you have trashed all the deaths of all WW11 Australians and deeply insulted their surviving families and friends. Let alone that, it is simply sophistic and meaningless in the extreme. You should apologise. Really, you should.

          • The Magpie says:

            Also, no one in power in Australia, to The ‘Pie’s knowledge, has ever said ‘Fuck it, we’ll go it alone, and we’re at war with (insert suitable name).’ Such a move would not only be insane and unacceptable for the public, it would guarantee not just an arse kicking but the necessity to learn Chinese or Russian under any new regime. A general rule, it would be possible to ‘go it alone’ by refusing to join a larger friendly nation in an external conflict, but that would negate the standard Australian policy of seeking and enjoying protection in the alliance with powerful like-minded nations. NOT going to war may well be an admirable ideal, but in this geo-political world, it is maths, not morals, that call the shots.

  7. NQ Gal says:

    Nothing like the threat of being locked out of puns and clubs to get Townsvillians off their arses and into the vaccine clinic. The car park was absolutely chockers the 4 times I have driven past it this weekend.

  8. The Magpie says:

    WHAT …NO … Don’t say it!!

    Sometimes it is what doesn’t appear in the Townsville Bulletin that raises questions. After the first riffle through today’s Astonisher, something seemed wrong, and after a second look, the horror struck …. NOT A SINGLE HARVEY NORMAN AD.

    Is the Hardly Normal blitz over? News Ltd shares in peril? Or just a breather, while Gerry recoups some losses incurred by some of his 1500 neddies that didn’t perform on the weekend?

    We’ll see, but be sure of this – no Harvey Norman filling half the printed pages and this paper, among others, is in BIG TROUBLE.

    • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

      Interesting this that did not really appear in the BullSheet. There was a cryptic little mention online yesterday about the street between Stockland and MacDonalds in Aitkenvale being cordoned off by police, Maccas being evacuated and fire and ambos attending. But the paper apparently didn’t think it was interesting enough to either update or report on.

    • Interested observer says:

      They’ll be looking for an even smaller office.

    • Show me the money says:

      News Ltd shares are at a record high. Been galloping along since downsizing the Bully.

  9. He who does not lie says:

    I see that Scotty from Marketing has managed to squeeze in another se aye inquiry into the ABC. This time in regards to the broadcasters complaints processes. Whether you like or loathe the ABC, they do keep the LNP on the hook and call them out regularly over various political matters. Bad publicity is despised by Scotty and his team of lying fucktards, and this is yet another piece of political payback at the expense of the taxpayer.

    • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

      So, to be clear:
      Olympic rorting – defended by law
      Shadowy figures funding Christian Porter – nothing to see here
      ABC asking question – release the hounds?

      I have always been a Liberal, but this guy is completely in cloud coo coo land.

  10. Jatzcrackers says:

    A story today on the ABC News website, highlighting the work of a wonderful young lady who manages the collections at Townsville’s Museum of Tropical Qld. An inspiring story of the love/dedication of a talented youth.
    Two points: The story indicates that many ‘treasures/items recovered from the depths, aren’t for public display. Why not ? Not enough space, not important enough, no staff to assist ? This almost seems unbelievable !

    My second point…the ABC shows their true colours when the tail part of the story bangs on about the imbalance of females in the area of a ‘male dominated’ field !

    FFS, if you want to encourage more young talented females (or males) wouldn’t providing more exhibits of most treasured items recovered from the deep, be an excellent way to inspire the youth of today and have them consider a career they can love ?

  11. Achilles says:

    Australian taxpayers funding $59m in government ads in run-up to 2022 election

    Spending spans topics from cyber-crime to domestic violence, including $12.9m on the Positive Energy campaign in lead-up to Cop26

    https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2021/nov/15/australian-taxpayers-funding-59m-in-government-ads-in-run-up-to-2022-election

  12. Kenny Kennett says:

    I don’t care what anybody says, the QLD border lockdown has always been political. And today tops all in the past. Victorians and NSW folk can ‘fly’ into Queensland but no one can enter through the border, not even Queenslanders, because the three shit-for-brains Labor monkeys say the Gold Coast isn’t vaccinated enough. The ‘kid’ has been very vocal about those left for dead on the NSW side. Is it all because the ‘kid’ is the member for Gold Coast and the Labor fucktards will do all they can to try and discredit him. Keep pushing David Crisafulli and these idiots will shoot themselves in the foot. Enough is enough, shit shakes, open all the borders and let people make some fucking money.

    • Grumpy says:

      Kenny, I’m going to a function at Noosa in a week or so. Anything decent is over $700 per night. Some fucker is making money. Gouging would be more appropriate. Same as the thieving bastard caravan parks ripping off the Dry Gonads all over the country. They forget that people have memories.

      • Achilles says:

        Grumps: if you think that’s gouging try the international airlines, A flight from Manila to Cairns used to be around $500-800 is now $3000.00 others from Europe and the US are equally disproportionate.

    • Nickster says:

      The politics of fear, lies & spin are coming back to haunt the Labor Government.

      Border lockouts of Queenslanders is a failure and hurts innocent vaccinated people.

      The soon to be sacked hundreds of police and health workers who have not been vaccinated is a failure of leadership and a consequence of the government’s fear campaign.

      Low vaccination rates for indigenous communities is a failure of the State government bureaucracy, seriously we cannot vaccinate 27000 people.

      But nobody cares as the spin doctors have got us fooled.

    • HiBeam says:

      What are the driving rules for other points of entry? Warwick. Goondiwindi, Moonie etc.

    • NQ Gal says:

      Even better – just let Queenslanders return home. There must be more than a couple of people stuck in caravan parks on the NSW side because they aren’t able to drive to the place of residence.

    • Snowpeas says:

      The Australian Red Cross has stepped- in and is helping out Queenslanders stranded at the Qld/NSW border, who could drive home but told they can only enter Qld by flying from Sydney.

      “We want the government to show a bit of compassion and a bit of common sense and get Queenslander’s home”, Mr Crisafulli said. (Gold Coast Bulletin 15/11/21)

      • Stringbean says:

        These poor Queenslanders stuck at the border in scenes that could nearly be described as refugee camps.

        The tax payers will pay by direct and indirectly funding wonderful organisations like the Red Cross.

        Maybe they should start a refugee convoy like we’ve seen around the world in places like the US/Mexico border or in Eastern Europe.

        Who would have thoughts we’d see Australian political refugees in Australia.

  13. HiBeam says:

    Letter to the Editor
    Townsville Daily Bulletin
    August 21 1936
    At the City Council meeting on Thursday evening Ald. Aitkens referred to the condition of the water supply. For the past week he has had to take his bath in a liquid which was the colour of horehound and with a stench like nothing on earth. He moved that the Chief Engineer investigate a sample he had taken. Ald. Corcoran substantiated what Ald. Aitkens had said. The water at his own house was absolutely brown. The motion was carried.

    The more things change the more they stay the same!

    • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

      Even with the benefit of supposed state of the art treatment (quiet chuckle) facilities and labs we have not come very far beyond this when we just pumped directly out of the Ross River weirs and sieved out the dead animals.

  14. On Two Wheels says:

    So, a Townsville local, Jack Miller, clinches 4th place in the world title chase for Moto GP, which you would think should get a mention in the local paper, maybe even a front page. Nothing! Not even in the Sports section. But a bunch of bikies who have a weekend on Maggie is front page news.

    • The Magpie says:

      Boy, have you been sucked in!!

      Valid point about lack of coverage of local boy by local paper, but once again, the Bulletin shown it’s disconnect from the basic knowledge of this city they are all for. Take this for instance.

      Front page

      History cannot deny that mention of ‘island’ in this manner clearly indicates Magnetic Island (as you thought) – Palm is always called Palm, only Maggie I ever referred to as the ‘island’. Geez, must’ve been a lot bikes on the ferry, eh?

      Well, no … when we read …

      … but not a single mention of Magnetic Island.

      So these knuckle-draggers gathered at the Ross ISLAND Hotel, just down from the stadium, and across the road from the V8 track – – named for a vanished island of yore in the middle of the Ross Creek. And as if we didn’t have the blue bags stretched enough with kiddy crims, a posse of them had to be deployed for hours to keep an eye on these retards.

      So someone somewhere in the bowels of the News Ltd machine squeezed out a headline consisting of what bowels squeeze out … a lot of shit.

      Incidentally, Ross Island aeons ago served at various times as a munitions store during WW11, and the town’s rubbish dump … seems a fitting venue for this gathering.

  15. Interested observer says:

    The Premier’s 31 spin doctors – you know, the ones that gave us the “double donut days” – have come up with another classic.
    We are now being told we are being that the opening of the border is a “reward” for getting the jab.
    And we taxpayers are actually paying these spin doctors to this garbage.
    Sigh.

    • The Magpie says:

      Classic … take away a basic freedom for good reason, withhold longer than necessary for political reason, an d then paint yourself a heroine for giving back what was yours in the first place.

  16. Russell says:

    Malcolm, it’s either WW2 or WWII, not WW11 (World War eleven).
    Cheers.

  17. The Magpie says:

    Things move quickly sometimes.

    This comment and pic from a Bulletin story appeared a short time ago …


    And no sooner said than done by someone quick off the mark.

  18. The Magpie says:

    Now we’re getting advice on morals and ethics from … Nick Kyrgios?

    What next … a global forum on Public Integrity and Transparency, co-hosted by Donald Trump and Scott Morrison?

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      What? Mayor Mullet not included?

      • The Magpie says:

        No she’s a separate series of seminars … Power Dressing For The Business Woman, followed by The Importance of Punctuality In Business. (NB TO ALL ATTENDEES: Lectures for this event will all commence 15 minutes after the advertised starting time.

  19. Bentley says:

    For the record, I have, in the distant past, (naively), been interviewed by , and indeed written articles for, the Bulletin. Thanks to the consistently sloppy editing, which made me out to be as confused as said editor, I eventually distanced myself from the publication.
    Now on page 9 of Tuesday’s Bulletin 16 Nov is a little article heralding a proposed North Queensland Forestry Hub supposedly funded by the feds and capped at $900,000. Wow! A $900,000 hubcap!
    A Hub. Yeah? What is a forestry hub? (They used to be called forests.) But this is Bulletin-speak for an area which according to the article stretches from Rockhampton, out to Boulia, right up to and including Cape York. Some hub! And then there comes the revelation that there are hubs within the hub FFS, nine of them, in fact. Isn’t that a contradiction?
    My apologies to Senator Susie McDonald who, I presume is the victim in this instance. (Unless it was she who referred to these nine forests as ‘a hub”). What a lot of hub-bub!

    • The Magpie says:

      Very neat summary.

      Don’t know if you’re aware but The ‘/Pie also used to work for the Bulletin. Left for much the same reason.

      • Bentley says:

        Yes, I do recall. I also believe they tried to edit your regular column. Funny that. It was a great read. But they used to edit submissions to fit the page layout and in so doing often misrepresent the author.

  20. The Magpie says:

    IT’S ‘HOME IN’ FFS!!

    Some of these illiterates need sharpening up. Check ‘hone/home’ page 156 of your very own News Ltd style book (fourth edition).

    And although the third of three definitions (to sharpen) in the Merriam (American) dictionary is:
    3 [no object] (hone in on) another way of saying home in on (see home): the detectives honed in on the suspect | I started to hone in on the problem,
    … this is triumph of literary capitulation, legitimising a meaning change because of a repeated error of ignorance.

    Anyway, your own style book says you’re wrong.

    Harrumph!

  21. Airline says:

    Interesting articial in the Financial Pages of the Australian today 17/11 “Watchdog investigates Magnis Energy, company in sight… Sorry Pie i Can’t down load it…

  22. Addled says:

    Just bringing us back to electric cars for a moment, there’s a very interesting article in today’s The Conversation which could easily shake up the car market if only we had a 21st century government:

    https://theconversation.com/the-embarrassingly-easy-tax-free-way-for-australia-to-cut-the-cost-of-electric-cars-171919

    • Russell says:

      Addled, you can cut the cost all you like but the supporting infrastructure just isn’t there yet. Won’t be for very many years actually. Electric cars work beautifully for people commuting in cities charging overnight at home. Australia in general is not like that.

      • Addled says:

        But “Australia in general” IS like that, especially on the east coast. Mostly commuters living in towns or cities separated by less than a couple of hundred kilometres. Recharge facilities and the availability of access in a queue are all there on your mobile phone app. Did you get sucked in by ScoMo?

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        So how you finding your electric car Addled, working well for you is it. The things that gets me is most of the dickheads pushing electric cars don’t have one themselves, talk about hypocrites. You would have to be a moron to realise Australia is the least efficient place to have an electric car, a large landmass with a small population, the supporting infrastructure will take decades to roll out.

        • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

          Addled is exactly right. The average Australian car would drive ~40km a day and 85% of the population lives within 50km of the coast. We’re not in the least a nation of Leyland brothers.

          • Dave of Kelso says:

            Steve,
            I take it that you have not retired with a yearn to travel, unlike tens of thousands of Australians who are out and about often in remote places.

          • Silver tail says:

            But but what about all the old farts retiring or being part of the “great resignation” who are packing their sandwiches and colostomy bags and hitting our highways (at 60 km/h) and travelling our great land. Surely their Winnebago’s and other assorted slow towing vehicles should be made to be “all electric”. Hopefully they will all make it to the Simpson desert and then run out of recharge ports and get stuck out there! It would free up our roads from these slow driving ignorant pests.

          • The Magpie says:

            An aside: as an avid collector of the Australian idiom and slang, The ‘Pie had a guffaw when he read a reference to ‘grey nomads’ as ‘dry gonads’. Bit sexist, wonder what the old gals are called. However, knowing you lot, The ‘Pie doubts he will publish any suggestions that come in.

          • Addled says:

            Dave, whilst it is true that “tens of thousands” of Australians want to drive to Uluru and Cape York and Tasmania, towing a caravan with a boat on the roof, there are millions more living in cities and towns who won’t be doing that – at least not in the small car they currently own. If Australia is going to contribute to reducing global emissions then we need to get into EVs as quickly as possible. The best way to promote that is by creative financial incentives – like we do for private health insurance or negative gearing or diesel rebates. Of course some people think global warming is bullshit. Ho hum.

          • The Magpie says:

            Here’s an idea. Create EV bubbles, much the same way as London only allowed taxis and commercial vehicles in their CBD – or whatever the inner area is called. No one who lives within say 100kms of the capital cities and any population centre above say, 30,000, is allowed to own a petrol or diesel Toorak tractor or any vehicle burning such fuel. Such polluting vehicles are flat out banned from those areas. Don’t think it would be smart betting against this happening …. including a whopping great tax on such vehicles, with exceptions for farmers.

          • Grumpy says:

            Thank you, Malcolm. That term is all my own work. It came to me whilst doing Townsville-Brisbane in one go and being stuck behind the 21st silly old dickhead driving a combined quarter-million worth of gear. The old farts were barely in control of these rigs and totally unaware of the chaos they were causing.

          • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

            The term could be applied to both men and women.

        • Grumpy says:

          Steve – I knew that, but didn’t want to come over as a pedant.

  23. Interested observer says:

    I see the Townsville Bulletin has finally caught up with the Magpie’s yarn about JT splashing out for Greg Norman’s childhood home at Rowes Bay.
    At least they didn’t claim it was EXCLUSIVE.
    They should be paying you spotter’s fees.

    • NQ Gal says:

      The Bullsheet has also caught on to the Magnis story in yesterday’s Oz. The Mullet’s comments (of course) was that it was still full steam ahead with the project.

      • The Magpie says:

        Noted, and actually, fair enough she declined to comment kn an on-going investigation, because if the probe does go deeper and targets the company bitself, she may well be called on to shed some light on all the secret squirrel stuff she’s been hiding.

    • Alahazbin says:

      IO FFS A front page headline about an ex footballer buying an ex pat golfer’s childhood home that bares no resemblance to the original. Another slow news day.

      • The Magpie says:

        No, just trying to catch uo with The Magpie from the two weeks ago.

        And the claim about the Greg Norman high-set is akin to George Washington’s apple-tree felling axe – the original is on display, although it has, over the years, had five new heads and seven new handles.

  24. NQ Gal says:

    Congratulations to Hutchinson Builders for winning a State gong from Master Builders for the Cowboys Centre of Excellence. I don’t think this was the sort of “excellence” that was hoped to be gained from this facility…

  25. hip-hip-for-fwyp says:

    Just noticed a petition to our Qld Govt: (Sorry I was unable to change the Q in the sentence due to the spell checker)

    “STOP QUEENSLAND’S PROPOSED COVID-19 VACCINATION SEGREGATION POLICY”. (Their capitals)

    It had 32,747 signatures yesterday, and 40,341 as I write. Not bad for just 8 days since it was posted.
    Only another 10 days before it closes.
    If interested, just search for Queensland Petitions. If not interested, just ignore.

    • Snowpeas says:

      The PM: “People should be allowed to get a cup of coffee … regardless of whether vaccinated or not”. (Courier Mail 18/11/21)

  26. Doxie says:

    Well, whacko the duck!! Jonathan Thurston bought Merv and Toini Norman’s old home. Sooooo………….who cares?

    • The Magpie says:

      Well, can’t blame the Astonisher for trying to make a tenuous link between the sale and a global sporting hero … serves the purpose of freshening up and looking like new stuff over and above the story The Magpie carried two weeks ago.

  27. Snowpeas says:

    Burp and Fart stopper: solution’s in the water. (TB 18/11/21)

    We should all be supporting the call to save the last of the state’s Rural Training Colleges. (TB 18/11/21)

  28. He who does not lie says:

    And apparently Scomo, Lambie and Albo and a bunch of other politicians have all expressed concern about ‘politicians safety’ in light of the Melbourne protests against COVID-19 mandates! Poor diddums.

    Think about it. These elected fuckwits have voted anti-freedom laws into legislation, fucked over our countries economy, bankrupted businesses, damaged families and communities, and our way of life. Incidentally none of the laws affect their wealth or livelihood. And they wonder why everyone is so pissed off with them and wants their head on a platter! And now the slime balls have palmed the hard work onto the remaining businesses in our community who will be forced to do the Governments dirty work by checking and asking patrons, shoppers, customers whether they are vaccinated. If they aren’t vaccinated the businesses staff will be required to prevent entry or evict people. Absolute arseholes. You poliTICKS want to introduce such disgraceful rules, why don’t you and your families do the policing and compliance checks.

    1,000 people dead out of 26 million residents over 2 years and this is what we get. That’s it. What the fuck has happened to our society??

    • The Magpie says:

      The ‘Pie is ambivalent about segregation mandates, but what UNEQUIVOCALLY opposes is the policing of such a move is placed on businesses. Extra cost of staff, extra angst of staff, possible injury to staff and other members of the public AND ABOVE ALL, FINES FOR BUSINESSES WHO WILLINGLY OR UNWITTINGLY SERVE UNVACCINATED CUSTOMERS. This has moved policing into an totally unacceptable area, and will split society alarmingly. (Although Townsville will happily and luckily snooze on in troppo style as best it can.)

      But a point regarding death threats …. journos, coppers and psychologists alike have always known that statistics show that the general rule is that ‘those who say, don’t do, and those that do, don’t say.’ That doesn’t mean that some nutter won’t break the rule sometime, but signalling an action that can be traced and then doing it take a special kind of delayed development.

    • Addled says:

      “And they wonder why everyone is so pissed off with them and wants their head on a platter!”

      Speak for yourself, Old Mate. If you are hosting a Xmas party this year will you be inviting all your unvaccinated mates around? If so, will you be letting everyone else know? Just wait until the Great Unwashed start arriving in Townsville in a month and the first Covid cases end up in the TUH. Suddenly, all the rebels will be queuing up for the jab.

    • Westie says:

      Hey, truthful but confused. There has been no new legislation to manage the latest pandemic (although it looks like Victoria is trying unsuccessfully to introduce some). One of the oldest and most important responsibilities of government is to protect their populations from contagious diseases, and they have all been fully equipped for centuries with powers to do so.

      You also seems confused in your argument- only 1,000 dead from a population of 26 Million. Are you are saying this is a good result, and justifies the measures taken by the various (fuckwit) governments?

      Other governments managed it differently, (Trump, Boris Johnson, Bolsanaro). Are you saying our (fuckwit) politicians should have followed their lead, achieving a more respectable death count in Australia?

      All businesses have the responsibility of keeping their customers safe. It also makes good business sense. The cost of building maintenance, food safety, fire protection, security guards etc is passed on to clients as a cost of business. Neglect of these areas can also result in government fines.

      I am not sure why keeping dangerously unvaccinated people out would be viewed any differently.

      • The Magpie says:

        The cost for starters. Or are you recommending that those who have done the right thing, should cop a tariff by way of price rises to subsidise those who have done the wrong thing? If a business decides unilaterally on such a policy, then that’s on their heads, but for a snivelling little government to impose such a burden through legislation is just simply wrong and cowardly. because it is the businesses which will get fined.

      • Old Tradesman says:

        So this power hungry so called legislation that the princess and her useless cohorts are going to introduce after December the 17, will allow people to mingle at Coles, Wollies, Bunnings etc but won’t let any unvaccinated person, who, by the way might have a legitimate reason to not be vaccinated, sit next to a vaccinated person at a coffee shop or sit next to that person at Total Tools Stadium for instance, thus leaving the onus on to the already struggling business to police, who if found to have somehow let one of these lepers from Phantom Island into his premises will receive a huge fine. The Labor Party are experts to enacting policy on the back of beer coasters. This piece of puffery will have more holes in it than a sheet of foolscap that has just been dealt with by a gattling gun.

        • Addled says:

          Old Tradie, check out the Liberal government in South Australia. Go on, check them out. They are saying the unvaccinated may not attend the Adelaide Oval, the Zoo and numerous other public facilities. So it’s not just the filthy Labor Party.

        • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

          If you have a legitimate reason not to be vaccinated you’d have an exemption certificate.

          • The Magpie says:

            Yes, but the debate is that a legitimate reason not be vaccinated should include the fact that you don’t want to be, no matter what reason.

            Not agreeing, just clarifying.

  29. Elusive Butterfly says:

    Just when you thought it couldn’t, a new Bulletin low, Mr. Pie!

    “They are the North Queensland creeps who have been done for showing their private part in public, with many of them pleasuring themselves in front of other people. SEE THE LIST>>>”

    “who have been done”…God help us!

    This “newspaper” is a disgrace and an insult to the people who live in Townsville!

    • F Wit says:

      Butter-FLOG, please tell us WHY this is a disgrace, In your opinion. We’re interested………

      • Elusive Butterfly says:

        “We’re” interested eh F Wit?
        Just who is the we?
        Bet you would’ve been very comfy in Berlin in 1936.
        But, seriously, if you have to ask that question, I really feel sorry for you!

        • F Wit says:

          Well, here’s my take Butter-FLOG! They were adults, they were caught in the act and what they did in a public place is disgusting.
          The next step is to let the community know who these sick puppies are, as a deterrent to others who might think this is ok and they deserve to be ridiculed by publicly shaming them, so they think about not committing such a public act again!
          On this occasion I say ‘Good one TB’ AND, you’re wrong again Butter-FLOG! Still waiting to hear why you think they shouldn’t have been outed by the TB………

          • The Magpie says:

            Well, if it’s going to be considered in other cases for other crimes, mental health might be one reason that there should be a little more discretion. You’d think that a responsible paper might have considered this. If someone in this position tops themselves, it will be interesting to hear how the debate turns then … even all the critics including yourself, use the term ‘sick’. And to perform such acts in public tends to make a pretty strong argument that something’s drastically wrong in the top paddock.

            But your compassion and understanding for ‘sick puppies’ is well most moving, and is reflected in your chosen nom de keyboard.

          • F Wit says:

            Wasn’t communicating with you Pie, but with Butter-FLOG!

          • The Magpie says:

            Errr … when you comment on here, your communicating with everybody. Perhaps you meant not commenting directly in reply. But the way the blog comments work, it is not always easy to see who’s saying what to whom before publishing, especially when there’s a sudden rush of people eager to save the world.

  30. Dave of Kelso says:

    Dear ‘Pie,

    Given that it is important to keep the pot stirred;

    I am fully in favour of withdrawing all Medicare support from unvaccinated Covid fuckwits, requiring hospitalization, taking beds from those responsible people requiring genuine and serious elective surgery.

    To the Covid fuckwits I say, “Fund your own lifestyle, including your time in ICU. You are a carbuncle on the bum of society.”

    • The Magpie says:

      Yup, that’ll just straight sail through parliament, no probs, good idea. Keep up the deep thinking.

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        Thank you for your encouragement.

        • Nickster says:

          Gee DoK I imagine you want segregation entrenched in other parts of society too.

          If you’re vaccinated it shouldn’t matter what the unvaccinated do, as you are protected.

          If we follow your logic an unemployed person on welfare who rejects any job should lose their welfare entitlement too?

          I’m vaccinated because it is important to me and I make hundreds of choices every day to based on my own risk appetite, sometimes I drive at the speed limit sometimes I don’t, sometimes I eat junk food, sometimes I don’t. One thing I don’t need is any government is to dictate everything I do.

          • Dave of Kelso says:

            N,
            My point is that they will occupy hospital beds depriving others from elective surgery. The hospital system is already at maximum capacity and nurses are burning out through over work. Anti vaxxers are bloody selfish in this regard.

          • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

            Someone at work made the comment about anti-vaxers that we are all working to plug leaks in the dyke (like the little Dutch boy) and these clowns are hacking at it with pickaxes – the image seemed about right.

            People can have freedom of choice, but they can’t be allowed to undermine the collective effort of others to make the entire society safe.

          • The Magpie says:

            The ‘Pie repeats, and will continue to repeat: the issue is not freedom of choice whether to get vaccinated, it is the issue of who polices this almost unenforceable law of refusing entry and service to the unvaccinated. Putting the burden on businesses is bad Labor policy at its shining best. Whole businesses could be ruined if people – vaccinated or not – who object to a civilian with only delegated authority demanding such information from ALL customers or ticket holders – and acting on the result – decided to turn up en masse and clog up the whole trading day for as long they want. As if the police do not have enough to do with real dangers. Vaccination is known to not be a complete shield, but it does minimise the the effects. We’re going to have to return to reality very soon, or accept a society fractured by cowardly political leadership.

          • Westie says:

            Hey Nickster. does your personal risk tolerance extend to drunk driving? If it doesn’t, but someone else’s does, do you think that the government should keep their nose out of it, and let the risk taker barrel down the highway, at 150kms per hour, with a Blood Alcohol content of .2, and maybe with you coming the other way?

    • Just Say'n says:

      Hey DOK, you might be on to something.

      Perhaps we should also ban smokers, drug addicts, piss heads, fat bastards, retirees (they haven’t got long to go anyway), those that go out in the sun, etc etc etc.

      What do you reckon?

  31. Guy says:

    As I’ve mentioned before

    Small modular nuclear will be the way to go if we want to charge electric vehicles overnight instead of burning coal.

    Having worked in a coal fired powerstation I quickly examined how they work, the advantages and disadvantages – essentially its old tech that just doesn’t make sense in 2021.

    Building massive battery systems like SA is stupid as well. You install lots of SMR and build redundancy into the system, if one SMR goes off line it doesn’t cause half the country to go dark.

    Solar on its own is no good, wind power is good as long as it doesn’t kill wildlife , they are planning a wind farm near Ravenshoe at the moment – but let’s be honest wind turbines have problems too – ive been up in one and questioned the service techs about them and came to conclusion wind power is more trouble than its worth.

    I used to be against nuclear tech because of the stuff ups and explosions contaminating large sections of the world – that was old nuclear tech and irresponsible private companies. You’d just need the gov to run it with minimal office workers and have an efficient service tech / engineering section running them. The reason solar is so popular is because they know management is shit in Australia and its hard to buggerise a solar array due to incompetence; plus its hard to fire the arse of all this dead wood.

    We should go hard getting Rolls Royce to build the next generation of powerstations in Australia, it will be far more useful than subs that will be ready in 10 – 20 years time.

    • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

      Small modular reactors don’t exist and won’t for 10-20 years, and by then all our EVs will already be charging with solar and wind.

      • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

        Steve – you mean they don’t exist like the ones on hundreds of nuclear submarines, at Lucas Heights in Sydney or on a number of satellites? – you stupid wanker!

        • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

          I need to apologize about my last remark – I have no evidence that Steve is a wanker. Definitely stupid and an ALP meat puppet, but I only suspect he derives pleasure from himself (I can’t imagine any other human being involved).

        • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

          Who’s currently selling them? Small reactors may exist but you forgot the modular part.

          • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

            Stevie, little mate. You said “do not exist” not “are not yet for commercial sale”. This isn’t primary school debating, this is the wide wide world where people don’t think you are clever because you had a go, but think you are a sad little political operative because you mindlessly parrot such crap.

          • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

            If you can’t order a half dozen mass produced SMRs to be delivered today by boat, train or truck in a shipping container and plugged into your grid, then they don’t exist.

            The examples given may be small and may be reactors but they’re not what anyone is talking about when they refer to SMRs. That’s why not even their most enthusiastic boosters are claiming they’ll be available before the 2030s.

      • Tropical says:

        If SMR dont exist why is Rolls Royce building one in the UK ans Ge is building one in Canada.

        • I’ll be plucked says:

          Hey All, we need to remember that Steve/Stevie is an expert on watching the dryer rotate at Ma Kelly’s laundromat in Belgian Gardens. Obviously got ahead of ‘themselves’ with the nuclear remark. Poor, deluded mutt!

        • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

          “Building”

    • Addled says:

      “Small modular nuclear will be the way to go”, when they come into commercial reality (if ever) and are cost effective (if ever) and an Australian government actually allows them (if ever) and wants to sponsor them (if ever).

  32. Cantankerous but happy says:

    I am vaccinated but couldn’t give a rats arse if i am in a room with thousands who are not vaccinated , that is the whole idea of getting vaccinated, to protect me, so i dont understand the pinhead argument about denying rights to people who arent vaccinated, people would only be worried if they thought the vaccine doesnt work, thats the real issue here.

    • Addled says:

      Cantankerous, if the room you are in is ED at the hospital and you can’t make progress with some urgent condition of your own because the place is choked up with COVID patients who are most likely unvaccinated people, you might have an attitude change. Health workers at the front line (in infected states like NSW and Victoria) are overstretched and dropping out in part because some individuals are exercising their ‘rights’ in ways that are basically antisocial. Because of this crunch point at our public hospitals, government is extremely sensitive about protecting the ‘rights’ of everyone, especially the critical health workers upon whom the responsibility falls. It’s easy to be blasé about this until you are the one that needs the health care, vaccinated or not.

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        As usual no perspective dickhead, few people who catch it need hospital care, 90% of people who need hospital care are vaccinated, 80% of the entire population is vaccinated, if our health system is that fucked that it can’t cope with a small percentage of the small percentage needing care then Covid and vaccinations isn’t the problem, it’s our fucked health system.

        • Addled says:

          Cantankerous, if you think as you write that “90% of people who need hospital care are vaccinated”, then you need to get a bit of perspective. If you don’t give a rat’s arse anyway then don’t take yourself to hospital – you won’t be missed.

  33. Lying eyes says:

    A classic Scotty ‘I don’t lie’ Morrison interview with Ray Hadley. Nothing has changed really.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iNMsb8Ja94w

  34. Data Dude says:

    As 84.2% of people aged 16 and over have had their second dose, this makes Australia one of the highest vaccinated countries in the world.

    https://www.health.gov.au/campaigns/coronavirus-covid-19

    Remember if you eat well, exercise, see a doctor regularly so you live a long and prosperous life you will eventually die anyway, so stop worrying and start living.

  35. Interested observer says:

    Please do NOT refer to the Cowboys office block and training facility as a “Centre of Excellence”.
    They only called it that to get the taxpayers and ratepayers to fund it.
    Now it seems it has no particular purpose, apart from giving a sponsor some publicity, and the staff and players somewhere to gather to plan the team’s next assault on the NRL ladder.
    In any case, surely the words “excellence” and “Cowboys” should not be used in the same sentence.

    • Prince Rollmop says:

      More like the “Center of Excrement”.

      Speaking of excrement, the TCC part-time lazy CEO seems to be rather quiet since the blowup with Snot Mason, and Snots sudden departure.. Is that because the Prince is working on yet another Nous government contract, this time with the ridiculously named “department of water, agriculture and the environment”? Such a busy Prince with Board appointments, Nouse business interests etc. No wonder he comes to work at TCC on half a million bucks per year to have a rest and undertake work commitments that are external to Council. What a joke.

  36. Dave of Kelso says:

    Regards transport in the Nett Zero Emmissions Era there will be a mix of technologies including this one for around town travel. I can imagine a couple of the Nesters using this technology.
    https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://m.facebook.com/backyardstudies/videos/d41d8cd9/3245912198809456/&ved=2ahUKEwiW9JP026L0AhW_gtgFHZQwCp0QwqsBegQIAxAB&usg=AOvVaw0M9cf-iFemnQXu0c3nUeFm

  37. Addled says:

    Still trying to work out what’s going on with Magnis. Apparently some Australian bigshots (from Macquarie Bank no less) have departed the business while new people are joining it, even while in a trading halt, and now I see that Australia’s Consul-General is photobombing the beast:

    Magnis Energy Technologies
    @magnisenergytec
    Nov 18
    Consul General for Australia in NY and North East, The Hon Nick Greiner along with iM3NY Chairman Dr Shailesh Upreti inside the New York Lithium-ion Battery Plant [caption on picture].

    Correct me if I’m wrong but doesn’t Greiner have rock solid Liberal Party connections? As I’ve said before, the Magnis / Lansdown thing is way beyond little ole Townsville City Council. There is some heavy duty federal government push and shove going on here which no one seems to notice or care about while there’s a Labor mayor to kick down the road. Eyes on the ball I reckon.

    • The Magpie says:

      You are clearly just making that up, and The ‘Pie challenges you to show any evidence of your claims. You cannot hide that you’re a political troll. Why not examine whether Townsville’s involvement with these shonks has cost us money and more importantly, reputational damage in the business world. Poullas is a ‘pump and dump’ specialist who has fooled our mayor to the extent she has kicked herself down the road.

      • Addled says:

        Not “clearly” and not making it up. Here’s a reference where you can see the pic of Greiner and his mate in the Imperium ‘shed’ in New York (yesterday, 18 November). You can’t ‘make this stuff up’ so why would I bother?:

        https://twitter.com/magnisenergytec

        • The Magpie says:

          OK, clarification (read it slowly now): ‘obscurely making shit up’, by trying to connect a former Liberal pollie (a state premier NOT from Queensland) with the abysmal failure of the pollie you’ve got the hots for in Walker Street. You’ll do anything to deflect attention away from the clusterfuck Magnis, Mullet and Lansdown have become.

          • Captain Obvious says:

            What people have forgotten is at Lansdown;
            – Townsville City Council are land owner
            – Townsville City Council are the developer
            – Townsville City Council the planning authority
            – Townsville City Council are the approver
            There is nobody stopping Landown except Townsville City Council

            So when people want to know why nothing is happening at Lansdown go ask Townsville City Council. But the answer is probably be commercial in confidence.

            The best we can hope for is Townsville City Council like other developers quickly pack up shop, leave town and move to another place where they can get thing done with a friendly council.

          • Bwahaha says:

            Wait until the Mayor works out that it’s council staff who have been stalling things…. sorry Mayor we must follow process, sorry Mayor probity, sorry mayor Belcarra.

            The staff are the ones who run council not the Mayor or CEO.

            Big doona, no power.

            All talk no action.

          • Addled says:

            Magpie, I would have thought you would give passing attention to the reluctantly accepted fact that one day after you have mentioned the ASIC probe into Poullas and possibly Magnis, the Morrison government-appointed Consul-General in New York gets himself photographed inside that company’s New York operation. He can’t have been there to polish turds. Greiner was appointed earlier this year, about the time our federal member started talking up the Lansdown site. Just months later, as part of the CityDeal funding scheme, Canberra teams up with Brisbane to the tune of $24m in “infrastructure funding” (whatever that is) for Lansdown. If you think Magnis has something over Jenny Hill you’d have to admit she isn’t the only one who’s being played. Whatever is going on with Magnis I’m pretty sure the answer won’t be found in Walker Street.

          • The Magpie says:

            Just like the anti-vaxxers, you are missing the point.(See what I’ve done there … point – needle … oh, forget it.)

            It is deeply moronic to suggest that The ‘Pie or anyone else is suggesting that Jenny Hill has had anything to do with Magnis Technologies probity woes, but the point is that those woes were peeping out right from the beginning, with a boardroom turnstile and ‘pump and dump’ share activity, often coinciding conveniently when someone was jumping ship. The questions for the mayor is what due diligence was undertaken when she decided on behalf of the ratepayers to gift a chunk of public land to this mob. Was she dazzled and blinded by the glamour of a freebie to the US to sign some papers, that she didn’t think anything could possibly be amiss? That trip was as cynical as the Adani junket before her little airstrip scam was canned. And how come The ‘Pie’s suspicions of the past few years, often voiced in this blog, have suddenly come to light only now when the tell tale signs were always there? The best one can say for Mayor Mullet is that she has been negligent, the worst is the possibility she was complicit, using such things as C in C to hide the truth.

            And minor Commonwealth involvement in Lansdown is purely wedge politics by the Palaszczuk government.

            And further confirming your apt choice of name, you actually believe that Smirko would order his consul-general to hot foot it down to some backwater project in New York for a happy snap boosting a shonky pissant ASX company? One whose boss is under investigation? And have it all happen within hours of the story in The Australian? Mate, you’ve got as much cred as the Astonisher.

          • Addled says:

            Regarding your last para – I have no idea why the Australian Consul General would be at that premises for a photo op (and I note that you didn’t believe it was even possible). But if the story about that company and its boss is already all over the Australian newspaper it could hardly be passed off as an irrelevant coincidence could it?

          • The Magpie says:

            Your addled reading comprehension is becoming a problem, and a tedious exercise in semantics. Just where did The ‘Pie say he didn’t believe it possible that the C-G would be at the premises for a photo op? What he actually said, in reply to your inference, was that Scomo ordering it and it happening almost instantly was impossible to believe. Happy snaps like these for a consul-general – anywhere – always wanting to be seen with anything connected to Australia are planned well in advance. Your term ‘irrelevant coincidence’ is exactly what this is, as anyone who knows how political spin and journalism work. Where’s the upside for an already embattled PM engaged in far more weightier issues in your scenario? He couldn’t give a rat’s about Magnis and has no obvious and exposed connection to it.

            Your barrow has blown its tyre.

  38. Achilles says:

    Re the feminine form of “Dry Gonads”, an Ozzie based title could be “Drizabone’

  39. Olympic Size Joke says:

    The Olympic Committee have effective sidelined female (born) athletes with their latest woke statement.

    No science here just political correct madness, in short be born a male have the natural testosterone advantage, then take on women and win their gold medals.

    https://stillmed.olympics.com/media/Documents/News/2021/11/IOC-Framework-Fairness-Inclusion-Non-discrimination-2021.pdf

    “Athletes should not be deemed to have an unfair or disproportionate competitive advantage due to their sex variations, physical appearance and/or transgender status”

  40. Jenny Wren says:

    Another Magpie catch up story in the Bulletin today on page 3, “Taste of water spoiled by algae”.
    Sorry, with the new layout of the online edition I haven’t found a way to copy the article but it contains much the same explanation as given by some people in this blog together with the actions the council has taken to correct the bloom.
    Since the water quality has been bad for weeks, I wonder why it took so long for Mayor Jenny Hill to comment.

    • I’ll be plucked says:

      Jenny, because she must drink bottled water only. OR, the minions who advise her hadn’t got around to writing her speaking script!

  41. Kenny Kennett says:

    You are fuckwits News corp. Tim Paine was proven to not have broken any Cricket Australia rules or codes of conduct 4 years ago and his family were well aware of the sexting incident. Then News corp decided to dig it up, and Paine has now been forced to resign his Captaincy post. I hope they’re proud of themselves. Anything for a story!!

    • The Magpie says:

      If you read the details, this harpy is a trollop and prick teaser, but there will be no comeback against her, will there? Why go into the cricket authorities in the first place, she was willing to play and OK, didn’t have to accept a dick pic and like it, but take your whinge up up with Paine, and seek an apology. The fallout is way out of proportion … as per bloody usual.

      • I’ll be plucked says:

        Bring back Steve Smith, compared to the crooks and grifters in the Govt and those who hang onto their coattails, he’s a saint! :)

      • The Wulguru Wonder says:

        Here’s something to put you off your evening G&T Mr Pie……do you think Rupert has ever sent a dick pic?

      • Prince Rollmop says:

        Exactly Mr Pie, she was happy to text Tim some naughty messages and only decided to go public with it because she got punted from Cricket Australia for stealing or fraud. So she decided to get revenge and lob a giant shit grenade at CA by selling her ‘nothing’ story to that old fuck Skeletor Murdoch, and get paid for the story. She is a grub. Yes, ok Timbo should have kept his typing fingers away from the phone, but this woman has willingly ruined the blokes career and created controversy for our national cricket team over what – mutual risqué text messages. Big fucking deal!!! She is a lowlife parasite.

  42. F Wit says:

    Look, if you’re sending pics of the old-fella to anyone whose not your wife, you probably shouldn’t be the Australian Cricket Captain.

  43. Mr Smith says:

    Had a mate send me a video from the Brisbane protest march. He and his family went where they are all fully vaccinated, they’ve just had a gut full of government in their lives.

    Video was taken from King George square showing crowd from George St to Edward St and beyond, tens of thousands of people. Not that you’re seeing anything in the media.

    The tide is turning.

  44. Law Researcher says:

    Tim Paine sending a ‘dick pic’? Back in my day I tried to send a girl a dick pic but after waiting three weeks for my local Kodak store to process the photo, I went in and hey said they had destroyed it because it was lewd.

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