Ad Absurdem In Extremis: South Australia Wishes Us A Very Merry December 25 And Have A Happy, Safe And Prosperous January 1.

… and when it comes to April 25th, – DON’T MENTION THE WAR – no more Anzac Day.  South Australia’s Labor government has deleted all actual names on declared public holidays, except floating dates like Good Friday and Easter Monday. And they haven’t said why in any convincing manner. But , as Labor found out with the Voice referendum, Aussies are not stupid,  and are sure to pressure a reversal of this nonsense. The Magpie harrumphs.

Well, bugger me, the Bulletin. finds yet another way to insult its dwindling band of readers, taking a big stick to council … Mt Isa council that is. The paper pulls out all the stops over a matter of absolutely no consequence around here … or much in Mt Isa really.  Which is more than a bit cowardly and hypocritical for a paper that won’t go near what it calls the ‘petty politics’ of Walker Street.

As elections loom closer, the fancy dress fringe of local politics have spluttered and banged their clown cars through the tent flaps, with three new arrivals during the week.  One, the state Katter Party boofh .. sorry, candidates… says we should be allowed to be armed and be allowed to shoot intruders – dead or otherwise. The Magpie examines the argument put forward Krusty and Koko,  the Katter Kandidates.

Not all car thieves are kids, and not all victims are residents … one enterprising dickwit goes corporate. A Magpie exclusive.

And America has a bigly rejoicement, with George Santos becoming only the sixth politician to be expelled from the the Hill.

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Dumb And Dusty In The Desert.

The 2023 COP28 climate hootenanny has kicked off in Dubai, with the usual concerns about climate change be hot-aired to seemingly no agreed end. The Magpie has suggested it’s dumb in the desert because of the hosts and their middle east neighbours, trying to scam the world as gracious and responsible hosts.

Please no eye rolls about ‘there goes The ‘Pie again with a conspiracy theory’, because a group of these oil and gas-rich grifters have already been caught out doing sideline deals even before the conference began, aimed at signing lucrative oil and gas deals around the world at the expense of fossil fuels.  Most of these whackos are oilier than their best gusher, but the UN and other convenors are hardly in the position to say anything … after all, it is the feeble UN which,  six years ago allowed member states to elect Saudi Arabia  to serve on the UN Commission on the Status of Women, a body “dedicated to the promotion of gender equality and the empowerment of women.” That was a move that has to rate as the sickest joke of the century so far, but having a middle east oil and gas dependent country host a climate conference is up there, too.

But our own little gusher, Christopher Bowen will arrive there soon, to squeak his piece. The ‘Pie was interested to hear him on 7.30 say that Labor recognises that before ambitious targets are met, coal and gas will be needed to manufacture all the steel needed for this messianic energy conversion, thus justifying to the noisy chatterati that not all mines can go just yet.

So the irony is that we will need coal and gas to produce the metals required to make, among other things, stoves and ovens, on which very shortly, we will, not be allowed to use gas to cook meals. Not in Victoria, anyway.

Bentley still thinks it’s way too much, too soon, which will eventually cost us dearly.

Nice headline about King Charles arriving in Dubai to rumble on about whatever: ‘The Regal Has Landed.’  His ineffectual but no doubt well meant sophistry  (he has no power to legislate anything) reminded The ‘Pie of a great Twitter/X exchange:

The ‘Pie is making a small collection of the best exchanges on Twitter, and will include them in a later Nest.

What A Difference A Day Makes … Especially In South Australia

In an inexplicable … and unexplained … move, the South Australian Parliament has deleted all names from public holidays except those on floating dates, like Good Friday and Easter Monday.  Christmas Day is no longer Christmas Day it  is, in SA, simply December 25th.  New Year’s Day is just January 1st, and Australia Day, which many are betting is the ultimate target of this move, is now just January 26th. There isn’t any obvious reason for the move, so it was inevitable that speculation is rife.

The ‘Pie’s bet is it the start of some subversive attack on Australia Day, based on the fact that the SA Government is particularly enamoured of the all causes indigenous, hosting its own Voice to Parliament. But what has really caused a  fan-splattering of the squishy stuff is the deletion of the name Anzac Day.  Much of the citizenry  making not so much a call to arms, but a call to petition.

And to kick it off, who better than shadow Deputy  Defence Secretary, ex-digger and Townsville’s anti-crime champion, Phil Thompson.

In this YouTube clip Phillip Thompson states that he will initiate a petition to reverse this bizarre decision making by SA labor. Let us all keep a lookout for this petition.

And not surprisingly, Sky News bloviators are also leading the charge.

Be interesting to see how many signatures are gathered. Albo must be wondering how it’s all gone so wrong so quickly.

Oh, Gawd, Here They Come – Again …

A sort of benign Twilight Zone tends to invade Townsville every election period, and this time is no exception. Although so far we haven’t been able to find any Jenny hill stalking horses out to nobble the vote of anyone likely to upset her cosy Walker Street apple cart. First we get this piece of posed puffery.

Jai Philpots pose in the photograph is a cornucopia of delights for a reader of body language, and the mode of dress to introduce yourself to the electorate might bear some constructive comment, too. But then Mr Philpots tell us he studied psychology which he used in a job in Queensland jails. Perhaps The ‘Pie is being a little knee-jerky unfair to Jai, but the old bird has known many psychologists over the years, and without a single exception, every one of them was cracked.  big time.

But Mayor Mullet will no doubt welcome Mr Philpots into the race,  because he and the other declared LG independent, Brodie Phillips (another former screw) will only affect each others division 2 vote, and Team Shrill’s anointed Shari Fabbro should sail through to a spot on the Walker Street Arm Aerobics Team.

But more interesting candidates are on the state scene. The Kattertonics’ Clynton Hawkes (Thuringowa) and Michael Pugh (Mundingburra) have gone the populist route of residents being able to am themselves and plug intruders – to death if that just so happens.

Mr Hawkes appeal to front bar politics is based on his belief that criminals were taking advantage of what he believed to be soft laws, which meant victims could only react reasonably to the danger in their home.

but what does reasonably mean in this context?

Mr Hawkes said he supported residents being able to shoot home invaders without fear of reprisal in the heat of conflict, as long as it was not classed as excessive by police.

Shooting someone ‘not  excessive’ if just reasonable by investigating wallopers? RUFOK? No reprisal?

Ah, ‘cusa, Clayton old mate, a couple of questions: you want someone to be able to kill an intruder ‘with no reprisals’,  so effectively introducing the death penalty for a property offence? Or the danger a law change (which won’t happen) for households with to curious youngsters who would have access to the weapons?  Because if householders were allowed arms under your reasoning,  the laws on their safe storage would have to be loosened as well; no intruder is going to make a cuppa in the kitchen while waiting politely as you fumble around with keys trying to unlock the currently required safe storage. Often sans bolt, as well, and not loaded. Or do you want all this changed, too,?  You seem to fondly envision such matters would  end there and then, when a local Kojak pats you on the back, says ‘very reasonable, not excessive, good shot mate.’

It’s a popular fantasy of some, especially after a few schooners (alcohol is another problem, as is it’s bastard twin, domestic violence, so where does that leave you’re policy?), but one would’ve hoped such knob-tuggery would be left in the front bar and not taken to the political stage. Or home.

But Wait, Why Is The ‘Pie Surprised?

Remember this?

And a bit of trivia ..one of the ‘dead’ blokes in that ad is Betoota Advocate editor Clancy Overall.

Even an amateur ad like that gives one pause if you know Bob up close and personal, as The ‘Pie has on a couple of occasions. No matter how hard you try to keep him to some semblance of coherence,  you keep edging furtively away. Listening to Katter is like listening to a disturbed man squeezing his own balls with a spiked glove, the resulting gurgles indistinguishable between pain, pleasure and laughter, high squeaky giggling while frowning a snarl.

But they love him out in the wild west of Kennedy, despite having achieved exactly zero for his electorate,  but will do quite well himself, due to his family connection to the Copperstring project for which he has lobbied so hard.

This Paper Really Is The Pits

Thursday’s Daily Astonisher demonstrated the cringing, hand-wringing dishonesty of this disgraceful excuse for an alleged ‘community’  newspaper.  With a history of deliberately ignoring stories critical of the Townsville City Council and Mayor Jenny Hill,  airly dismissed as ‘petty politics’, the paper decided it wa safe to go OTT the full hog on a minor, boring story about the Mt Isa council.  There was a full page treatment …

 And then, believe this if you will, an iditorial on the subject ….

… which, as usual was mostly a lazy repeat of bits of the story word for word,  decrying the whole thing as dysfunctional. And if all that wasn’t enough, there was one of the typically unfunny cartoons on the subject.

Devoting this amount of space to a story 800kms away, in a place with very limited readership is simply insulting to the core readership in Townsville and nearby communities. Because this paper and iditor that honks on here about weaponizing the complaints system, allows Jenny Hill to do exactly that in the most vindictive way, starting with the one good council CEO of the past decade, Ray Burton (bullshit complaint dismissed but he buggered off anyway) and the various clear breaches of protocol involving Fran O’Callaghan.

And it’s no use sighing and saying ‘well, hardly anybody reads the rag anyway’, because a community is entitled to have a properly engaged, fair but inquiring media platform and paper to lead the local news agenda, to keep us honestly and equitably informed, and not depend on social media and mawkish ‘trauma porn’ about sick  kids to dominate the space, just to make a cheap buck.

And also not continue to play into the hands of juvenile criminals, who love to read about their exploits. report the facts, certainly, but  why post a scan link to watch the children showing off and demeaning the police. And because ‘that’s what people want to watch’ is no answer for a responsible community organisation.

But The Car Thieves Aren’t All Kids … And Some Even Go Corporate

The Magpie has a true tale that shows that it isn’t just householders who need to be vigilant to foil car thieves … ‘Once upon a time, in a car dealership not so far far away, a bloke walks in and soon afterwards drives out … in a stolen $100k coupe.”

Magpie mate Mike Abrams tells the story that a while back, a bloke walked into his car recycling business Partington 4wd at The Bohle and asks if he can borrow a screwdriver. The good folks out there are very obliging but Mike was curious, wondering why someone would want a screwdriver. So he watched the bloke quickly  remove the plates from a car in the yard, then duck up the next door lane, and screwed the plates on to … a brand new $100,000 sports car that had trade plates.  Mick had been somewhat mesmerised by all this,  and wasn’t able to confront the man before he drove off (often not a good idea anyway) but he notified the authorities as the bloke sped away. He then rang the dealer of the sports car make … one of the biggest in Townsville … and asked, ‘Are you missing a new vehicle from your yard?’ Panic ensued, no doubt some Calvin Klein undies were soiled, as it subsequently turned out the bloke had just wandered into the showroom, opportunistically grabbed some keys of a desk and used the lock fob to locate the car in a holding yard … and simply drive off.

The cops didn’t take long to locate the bloke and the undamaged car, which was returned to a very thankful and red-faced dealer.

Now you will notice The ‘Pie has had the courtesy not to name the dealership but is happy to report it’s since-revised sloppy security arrangements. And while it’s no names, no pack drill,  it’s fair to say that when the car was delivered back to the showroom, staff jumped up with air punches, shouting ‘Oh, what a feeling.’

Geez, How Bad Have You Gotta Be When The Republicans Boot One Of Their Own?

There’s a new song in America today:

Hey there, Georgy boy, 
Dreaming of the someone you could be
Life is a reality, you can’t always run away
Don’t be so scared of changing and rearranging yourself
It’s time for jumping down from the shelf …

‘To hell with this place’!! And with those gracious parting words, ultra bullshit artist, scammer and thief George Santos has been marched out of the Capitol Building in Washington, told to hit the road by a massive cross-the-aisle vote of 311-114 vote. This despite the egregious Republican leadership calling for him to stay because it would reduced their already slim majority of 9 down to 8.  More than 100 Republicans defied their leadership.

Santos is now in the history books as only the sixth person to suffer this fate. An election for his replacement must be held within 80-90 days.  The Magpie has irrefutable information (Santos told him) that already candidates are queuing up, including a Paul Pinocchio, a Walter Mitty and a George Flashman. They all gave the same reason for running: ‘It worked for him, why not me?’

This week’s great gallery, one of the best for a while,  looks at Georgy Boy,  checks out another retarded scammer and reflects the mixed feelings about the passing of Kissinger.

First It Was just Gay,  Then Transgender, And Now, Trans Species?

He? Have a closer look.

And Finally …

This is really a vocal joke, but get the idea and try it out on someone. especially with this week’s news.

You start by telling a mate:

“A confidential aide told Richard Nixon that his wife Pat was secretly having it off with someone, but he didn’t know who. Nixon is perturbed by the news, and decides to check it out for himself. That night,  having told Pat he’ll be away late, he quietly slips into her separate bedroom, …’ and this where your skills as an actor come in…

‘… and sure enough there was Pat in bed with  Henry, umm, Henry (click your fingers) Secretary of State Henry … ummm’ Your listener is sure to prompt you with ‘Kissinger’ and you say:

‘NO, FUCKIN’ HER’.

Yes, yes, I know, you really do wonder why you bother reading this stuff each week, but that’s trhe last chance The ‘Pie had to use one of his old favs.

…………………….

Another week gone, and the 25th of December rapidly approaches, as does 1st of January. comments are going to be boiling along, do join in its free as always.

And as always, any help with Nest costs through a donation would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.