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The Magpie

Sunday, April 11th, 2021   |   229 comments

A Bit Of A Change To The Good Old Aussie Foreplay Phrase ‘Brace Yerself, Beryl’ –This Time, It’s ‘Brace Yourself, Townsville Folk’, Looks Like You’re Being Softened Up For Another Rogering.

Is the TCC is about to slip us a couple of ‘roofies’ so we assume the position by grasping our ankles and await the inevitable financial thrust. A couple of announcements this week make it seem likely.

Townsville isn’t just ‘languishing‘ post COVID… apparently we’re in crisis. At least that’s what the Townsville Bulletin has declared. A refreshing brush with reality for the paper in their main Saturday article, but their profile of the man of the hour is hardly reassuring.

There’s been a totally unjustified scare campaign about COVID jabs putting people in danger of fatal blood clots, but in a exclusive, The Magpie has learned why the people of Townsville face a greater threat than others cities in this matter.

The Magpie is taken to task by on of the sisterhood for coining and using the word ‘clitoratti’ – the old bird fires back at the inherent hypocrisy of the criticism.

… and in case you haven’t seen it, Smirko Morrison makes the greatest tongue fumble ever by a Prime Minister which has social media roaring – with laughter.

But first …

Cruisin’ For A Bruisin’

Bentley is back! … but maybe more by good luck than good management. It seems that getting away from it all is an impossibility when travelling the Bruce Highway – there’s always someone else around, and as often as not, as Bentley points out, right up your clacker. Bentley seriously sees tailgating as an offence greatly neglected by the bluebags.


Must say, Benters, the missus doesn’t look too worried.

More Weapons Grade Idiocy In The CBD

As we age, we all have a couple of private little ‘life lessons’ tucked away. The ‘Pie has a couple … never buy a product or eat in a restaurant whose name includes the word ‘gourmet’ – it invariably is anything but.  And the other is when a government body describes an initiative designed to make something ‘more user friendly’, head for the hills. And don‘t jog, run flat out, if the phrase ‘community consultation’ is combined with the word ‘smart’.

So The ‘Pie went on high alert when he read this during the week from The Man Who Would Be Mayor.

CBD parking Screen Shot 2021-04-06 at 10.47.11 am

In short, it looks like it means you will have to have an app to park in the CBD. Given this council’s track record on technology and the dud computer systems favoured by Mayor Mullet’s carnival of experts (emergency weather warnings anyone), this scheme doesn’t fill one with bubbly confidence. But there are a couple of other reasons for trepidation.

First of all, ‘community consultation’? Klaxon alarm sounding. Molachino has form for utter bullshit like this. A couple of years ago, it was this very goof who decreed the free Eyre Street car park would become paid parking. Reason given: community consultation. Reason actual: a dismally stupid attempt at a council cash grab. The result:

IMG_112eyre st parking8

… and that’s the way this hitherto packed parking area stayed for many months until an expensive back down, with tens of thousands of ratepayer dollars wasted on change-back of signage and the uninstalling of meters. The ‘Pie challenges Molachino to show us what ‘community consultation’ took place, to justify spending even seed money on that graveyard where bad ideas go to die, the CBD. Especially when this city is crumbling around us and looking shabbier every day.  Any chance you get the basics right before this attempt to look like the progressive mayor you hope to become. Before you attempt to tilt at the CBD windmill, why not ensure that signage like this is no longer necessary?

Water sign alexandria st IMG_1058 Screen Shot 2021-04-11 at 12.46.27 am


Beware, The Lid Lifters Are Coming

It’s been a busy week in the Nest for alarm bells.

In fact, this particular alarm bell started jangling in January, when The ‘Pie read this.

Screen Shot 2021-04-09 at 2.42.32 pm Screen Shot 2021-04-09 at 2.42.47 pm

$2669? For a bana skin or two in the recycle bin, what a bloody paradise.

One immediately felt that Hinchinbrook was a litmus test for other councils, and little doubt the dead hand of the avaricious LGAQ was in there somewhere. This approach has been mandated by councils in other states, particularly in the Melbourne area ‘Aha,’ one thought,’ bet it won’t be long before we cop this little prescriptive rort.’

And guess what landed during the week – this is the giveaway tip of this scheme.

townsville logo

Over the next few weeks, you might see a few of our Waste Education Officers around your neighbourhood. We are currently rolling out a Bin Health Check program across Townsville with the following goals in mind:

  • To support residents in their understanding of the importance of proper landfill and recycling disposal.
  • Assist in the reduction of contamination in the waste stream.
  • Decrease the number of recyclables that are currently entering the waste stream.

The data we collect as part of this program will be used by Council to develop future waste education materials to help provide sustainable and long-term waste solutions for our city.

Inevitably, policing and fines with notices like this …

Screen Shot 2021-04-09 at 2.43.29 pm

… will eventually be the order of the day. Our council has always been keen on recycling … particularly recycling your money into its coffers, but The Magpie wonders if they’ve really thought this one through when they inevitably go down the heavy handed path of fines and penalties.

First of all, in blocks of flats and places where bins are shared, it will be a bit tough – nay, impossible – to know who to fine if the naughtiness continues. There may even be deliberate payback rubbish swaps and all sorts of neighbourly friendliness. But the big thing that the council does not seem to have considered, if they indulge in patronising menaces to residents, there does not appear to anything to stop residents putting in all the too-hard basket and just say  ‘Ah, phuckit’ and throw all rubbish – recyclables and all – in the general rubbish green bins. As far as The ‘Pie’s research has shown, there aren’t any penalties with any council anywhere that inspect and penalise general rubbish disposal, just the recycle bins.

Proper recycling is desirable, and one day will be wholly necessary, but the lazy personal grubs who don’t care about the issue are not the sort who will respond to this council approach with either enthusiasm or compliance. And there will be yet another layer of overbearing authority for us all to enjoy, poking around our supposedly private property. Lid lifters will become as welcome as parking revenue raisers. Sadly, it seems, both are modern necessities.

Did You Know Townsville Is In Crisis?

Despite all the faux cheery fairyfloss stories floating about its pages, unquestioned and unexamined – the Townsville Bulletin has now openly declared that this city is in crisis. The news came when the Astonisher had, at the behest of TCC spinners – possibly Dolan Hayes, who is a personal friend and former employee of Prins Ralston – ran a gushing hagiography of our new council CEO.

Screen Shot 2021-04-10 at 11.43.11 am

Apart from the irony that this bloke had a hand in creating our ‘crisis’, the story itself contained no solid news of much interest, but the headline was a bit of stand-out.

There was one snippet in this two page self promoting fawning over the man who eviscerated the council just a few short years ago. He admitted he only rents in Townsville, confirming what was reported here months ago, Ralston is a FIFO CEO, flying to Brisbane each weekend to the Brisbane family home. All on the ratepayers’ dollar (estimated at between $50K and $100k p.a). Another previously reported matter: Ralston and his wife Leanne has been trying to sell their spacious 5-bedroom suburban pad in Jinadlee for several years, coming on and off the market at various times. It’s not on the market at last report, so mate, are you asking an unrealistic price? Or are you just blowing smoke about ever buying and moving to the city of which you are the $600k+ council boss – at the moment?

Seems We’re Now An Entire Nation Of Jabseekers

Smirko Morrison is copping a lot of the wrong sort of needle over the handling of the COVID vaccine roll out. Since it’s a supply problem, not sure how even this complete klutz can be held responsible, and anyway, no one is dying of COVID in Australia, stop bloody panicking, media. But it’s clear that Smirko is flustered, and making stumbles in his replies to journalists. This one has brought the social media house down.

But while matters have been complicated by the ludicrous scare campaign about jabs possibly causing potentially fatal blood clotting (about one person per more than a million jabs), The ‘Pie can EXCLUSIVELY REVEAL (cop that, Astonisher!) that health official have released the results of a series of Townsville tests that have confirmed that we are a hot spot for potential clot problems. However, the medical experts say that there appears to be an immunity factor here because of our constant past exposure to the threat. The problems come in three major strains, and the clots look like this:

aaron harper

Les walker Scott Stewart

And yes, they can be fatal to your well being.

What a Brummer?

Would you believe it, while head hunters looking for a new boss for the Dudley Do Nothings aka TEL searched far and wide – one unconfirmed report said they even interviewed someone as far south as Giru – and all the time, the plum candidate was right under our noses all the time.

Claudia Brumme-Smith

Claudia Brumme-Smith, TEL CEO

Claudia Brumme-Smith will take the reins of the TEL dead horse and start flogging it next month, after resigning from her current role with the Port of Townsville, where she was General Manager Business Strategy and Sustainability (according to the Astonisher, although she lists herself on Linkedin as General Manager Property and Trade).

claudia B-S Screen Shot 2021-04-10 at 11.32.09 am

Commenters were not overly enthused.

Elusive Butterfly
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Submitted on 2021/04/10 at 9:44 amIt must be German week in Townsville.
First, we have Aldi supposedly opening up here?
And now, we have a German, with no experience in tourism, heading Townsville Enterprise.
All I can say is…don’t mention the war!
The Magpie
6,653 approved
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Submitted on 2021/04/10 at 10:45 am | In reply to Elusive Butterfly.Ms Brumme-Smith’s German background may be just what the doctor ordered, because, boy, if any outfit could do with a bit of Teutonic pragmatism and discipline, TEL would be it. Perhaps exactly the right boss to bring in publicly posted KPIs and specific time line goals. Let’s give her a go in The Nest until the is reason to do otherwise. Her first job as far as The Magpie is concerned is to convince ratepayers why TEL is worth three quarters of a million dollars to Townsville we (mostly unwillingly) fork over annually. So good luck, CBS (you don’t seriously think we’re gunna spell it out every time, do you? A suitable nick name will be applied when it becomes apparent. We’ll settle on Brunhilde for the moment.

But a couple of points regarding lack her experience in tourism. That is possibly a plus, because, like the CBD, way to much time and waffle is wasted on unrealistic expectations for this sector, and TEL fashions itself as some sort of regional economic flag-bearer. Brunhilde’s track record at the Port seems to fill this bill nicely and the only danger there is if the Peter Principle kicks in … promoted above her level of competence.


Why is the clearly incompetent business goof Kevin Gill, who was unceremoniously shunted from Townsville Airport, still chairman of TEL? The idea has always been that you BUY a seat on the board, and generally speaking, the higher contributors (memberships by businesses are along the lines of Platinum, Gold, Silver, Bronze, subtract a nought each one down) get a seat on the board and choose a chairman. There is no way Gill, doing whatever he does now if anything, contributes anything like say, The ‘Ville Hotel/Casino. If he contributes anything at all, and is there because unnamed others want a fall guy when the next inevitable fuck-up comes.

An arrangement of being in someone’s pocket possibly? Better check on who your REAL new overlord is, Ms Brumme-Smith.

And then there was this

BB gun
1 approved
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Submitted on 2021/04/10 at 6:22 pm | In reply to The Magpie.Young Claudia is an interesting choice. POTL and she have been trying to part ways for some time following an acrimonious but inconclusive investigation into workplace bullying and mismanagement. She can be a nasty piece of work. They will be very pleased to give her the flick.

Despite that, The ‘Pie sticks to his guns … early days, certainly,  but Brunhilde may be just the jackboot TEL so desperately needs up it’s arse.

The Magpie Makes A Policy Statement

magpie contemplating navel copy

Needless to say, The ‘Pie receives a great deal of correspondence on the matter of gender equality and the current fight by Australian women to have entrenched wrongs righted. Which The ‘Pie fully supports, but that support may have been lost on some people because of the satirical writing style in this blog.

One friend has taken me to task over the coining of the word ‘clitoratti’. She emailed me in part I’m still not talking to you … it’s that

that clitoratti thing – very dismissive and misogynistic- as a father of a daughter I was VERY disappointed in you, my old mate’.

The ‘Pie in turn was also disappointed, but for different reasons, which his reply detailed:

Oh, dear me. Point of order on two fronts Ms Speaker, if I may.

If you’re not going to be speaking to me, best to advise, otherwise I might unwittingly send you an amusing little something that will further annoy you even if it’s not about anything ‘touchy’. Because it seems you will see everything I say – the entire world order of our written universe – through the prism of a single word. Did you advise me of this arbitrary no-speaks arrangement, I may have missed it? I apologise for bothering you if I did. However, the non-engagement of ‘not speaking to you’ is a poor policy for those of us in the communications business, isn’t it? For the past four years, despite my abhorrence, I have at least engaged with Trump supporters, and not just ‘cut’ them, to use our mayor’s now famous phrase. Well, not always.

Second point of order: you’re being way too precious about the coinage ‘clitoratti’ (perhaps your sudden clutching of your pearls in recoil has stopped you seeing that it is a play on the well known ‘chatterati’ of metro gossip columnists.)

First it refers only to those feminist leaders with other agendas beyond the myths of ‘equality’ which somehow never fits comfortably with the point of ‘equity’ (a blog on that disparity coming up soon). The word doesn’t refer to all who possess a clitoris, they are called women by The Magpie, gals when being casually friendly and ‘feminazis’ when they are … well, are being feminazis, advocating parting chaps from their Jimmy and The Twins and so on. And tell me do, why have I never known you, privately or publicly, to object to sneering references  to  men as ‘a sausage fest’, or ’a gathering of big swinging dicks’ … ‘dicks’ being the exact slang equivalent of ‘clit’? Would you’re virtue policy also see you not speaking to me if I referred too ‘the dickeratti’?  Even if I had a son and not a daughter – whatever the fuck that has got to do with it – would I still be in the doghouse. I am certainly not going to play Smirko’s ‘Jenny’ card about conferring with family about decisions I make weekly … but I do carefully listen to what my daughter has to say, even if I eventually don’t accept a point here or there. And like you, of course my daughter has a clitoris, but in both your cases, I’m way more interested in what’s between your ears, not between your legs.

The seriously disappointing thing is that just because I don’t blindly accept the delivered and sadly accepted lore about how to talk about this very serious issue, you totally ignore that I have and do support the majority of long overdue changes in gender policy. And expressing the view that there is some feminist undeclared manipulation involved is constructive rather than destructive. I have the same reaction to your poorly argued objections to ‘clitoratti’ as I did to another writer’s objection to me using the term ‘iditor’ for the previous and current head goofs at the local paper – it simply confirmed I was hitting a nerve – and that in part is what The Magpie’s Nest is about.

Look forward to not hearing your point of view on these matters since you aren’t talking to me. But a cross-gender rapprochement and change of policy will be happily received.

Your ever lovin’ ‘Pie

The above is simply to put on record, particularly for the many female readers of The Nest, to avoid any misconceptions when The ‘Pie sometimes tries a little too hard to be amusing. And my friend and I have now established a private glasnost and are rattling away to each other again.

But ‘clitoratti’ stays.

A Note To Those Partaking Of Comments During The Past Week

Know there was to be a promised list of all the imaginary, failed and just plain daft hare-brained schemes our beloved mayor has foisted on us during her eight years in office, but when the list was started, it didn’t take long to realise that it should be comprehensive and not done in episodes, for fear of losing the vastness of the stupidity.

Any contributions and aids to the old bird’s memory will be greatly appreciated. One item of particular interest that seems to have just left on the bureaucratic vine in the hope it just withers and dies – what is the situation with the Castle Hill PCYC building and facilities? On evidence scanned so far, that was a gross dereliction of duty by this council … especially since it involved inter alia helping young people with problems. tell you what would really put the fox amongst the TCC hens … if Phillip Thompson camenupn with some federal dollars to buy the site and get it running again.  That would make a mess of Jenny’s granny pants.


Georgia On Their Mind

Even with the departure of the Mobster President, Trump adherents still in state office have been attracting attention, particularly in Georgia. This state has passed the most racist voting laws imaginable, so blatant that even corporations (Delta Airlines, Coca Cola), and sporting bodies (Baseball’s All Star game, equivalent to an AFL grand final) are moving operations out of the state. One despicable ploy is to slow down the registration and voting process for blacks, leaving them standing in line  for up to 8 hours, with long queues out in the Georgia weather, basically in the hope they will give up and go home. One little gem of southern bastardy to come out of this was the arrest of a number of people – some white – for handing out water bottles to those standing in line. Yes, there actually was a law specifically enacted to prohibit such a basic decency. The penmen of America had a field day, especially when that arch hypocrite Moscow Mitch O’Connell told business to stay out of politics.

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Finally, From The True(ish) Crime Files

The Magpie
6,653 approved
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Submitted on 2021/04/09 at 10:15 am

  • True Crime Australia
    • Police & Courts QLD
    Police trace owner of penis, testicle found in Brisbane man’s freezer
    The man allegedly at the centre of a bizarre backpacker hostel castration in Brisbane last year is facing new charges, with police now believing they know the source of a penis and testicle found in his freezer.
    Police believe they have solved the mystery of whose penis and testicle were found in a Brisbane man’s freezer.
    Ryan Andrew King, 28, of West End, has been charged for the second time with grievous bodily harm with intent to maim in relation to a second man who allegedly had his genitalia cut off.
    Detective in charge of the investigation, Inspector Dick Tracer said his investigations showed the victim to be still alive and appealed for help in locating him.
    ‘He has apparently been able to appear to live a normal active life, but is proving to be elusive,’ Inspector Tracer said. ‘His current activities show he is still suffering subconscious trauma from the vicious attack.’
    He released a photo to the public to help in the search.
  • Great Scott!!


That’s it for now, but things are starting to liven up so join the commenters, you can send in 24/7.

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The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. Mike Douglas says:

    Another great blog Pie . Add to our Mayors failed and delayed projects is her involvement in the Hive (Gleeson Group ) 45 Flinders st . Word has it the Mayor was going to commit to relocating the library (from Northtown ) and take performing arts space until someone at Council tapped her on the shoulder with how much her commitment was going to cost so she pulled the pin delaying the project resulting in yet another pissed off investori n Townsville . Is Phil Thompson going to announce that Great Barrier Reef Marine Park Authority will construct a new office at the Hive out of the $195 mil he secured that the 3 clots and their Government didnt want ? . I see Prins said that due to Townsvilles population growing by 1500 Council employed another 150 staff to cope . Based on a slice of the 1500 is babies has Prins set up a Council nappy changing facility ? .

    • Plannit Townsville says:

      If you check council staff numbers prior to the implementation if Prin Ralstons Nous Report you will find they were at approx 1700. 1500 new residents shouldn’t require an increase of 150 staff. At that ratio we should have a council staff of around 19,800.

  2. Old Tradesman says:

    Just remember Pie, each way Albo doesn’t know whether he is clitoratti or dickeratti. Especially when his real name is Anal.

  3. One legged tap dancer says:

    The headline for the Townsville Bulletin editor’s feeble attempt to pass off a public relations media release (nice one, Dolan) as a well researched feature story completely confused me.
    With the now famous Jenny Hill “Disaster Plan” headline still fresh in my mind, I thought the headline meant Prins was just the man to CREATE another disaster.
    Many a true word spoken in jest.

  4. Recycled says:

    So plastic milk bottles have a label on them that says, remove lid, crush bottle and replace lid for recycling, however the council says no lids?

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      Yes. At the local Containers for small Change depot they get you you remove the plastic lids before putting the container on the conveyor belt.

      • NQ Gal says:

        I’m still trying to work out the thought process for why you get 10c back on a 600ml flavoured milk container, but not for plain milk container of same size.

        • Dave of Kelso says:

          NQ G,
          Beer bottles, yes, but what about wine bottles???
          If wine bottles were included I would be a wealth man.

        • Dave Sth says:

          It is out & out a plain 10c stealth tax. Most don’t even bother returning just copping it and binning it. Worse still is you get charged an administrative charge to run the scheme (likely enriching another snout in the trough) and the feds take GST on top of the lot. Retailers despite squealing were lumped with another layer of compliance as result. It was the same dog of a scheme NSW introduced for a non existent problem underneath virtue signalling idiot Matt Kean. My plastic went into the recycle bin anyway and my aluminium to the metal recyclers, now I have to use fuel to take it to another centre which uses more fuel and electricity to process. How’s that environmentally friendly?

          Now if it had been the old scheme I remember from the 1980’s in Sydney where you paid a 10c deposit and got 10c back when you returned it, no problems.

          Pie was in Townsville last week, want to know what you need to add to Bently’s driving faux pars, barreling through Give Ways with no intention to stop unless of imminent collision then jamming on the anchors, which is kinda pointless when the one with right of way is already taking evasive action. Happened to me a lot and is much worse than when I lived here. For someone who drives in the rat race in Sydney regularly I was left jittery before I departed…

      • Ralph says:

        While on the subject of the recycling of containers, I inquired on how the recycling depots make money, I was told by the manager that for every container they recycle they get 6 cents for each container, so when you think about it, that’s 16 cents paid out for each container recycled, this is paid out by the Queensland Government, it would be interesting to see if this recycling project runs at a profit or a loss, I’m thinking a massive loss, hopefully our ( clots ) can give an answer. Ralph.

        • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

          The original 10cents is built into the cost of the original item. So every one you do not recycle is throwing away that 10cents.

          6cents is expensive but as it both diverts landfill and is recycled (saving the cost of new materials) there is some differential saving.

          One of the few decent things QG does for us.

          • Dave of Kelso says:

            For example, Woolworths brand soda water was 80 cents a bottle. The week 10 cents recycling came to Qld the price jumped to 90 cents.

  5. Kerrigan’s Castle says:

    ATTENTION TCC : You may be contemplating Fines for people putting the wrong items in their recycle bin. If I were to be possibly subject to a Fine for making a honest mistake in what is put in my recycle bin (or what my neighbours ‘sneakily’ put in it late at night), then I will stop using my recycle bin altogether. Everything can get dumped in the normal bin. No recycling for me. You can get stuffed is the best Australian response I can think of. Unconstitutional……..

    • Critical says:

      And just don’t use your recycling bin if yiu live in a unit block, neighbours are always putting wrong rubbish into other people’s recycling bin. Better still lock it away in your garage so no one else can use it without yiyr knowledge.

  6. Cantankerous but happy says:

    Whatever the long list of failed public projects that never commenced ends up, the list of private projects that this council have fucked up will be much longer, the most business ignorant pack of fuckwits one could ever imagine, and the fact that mumbling dunce Molachino is next in line means Townsville will be an investment backwater for years to come. There are far too many places where it’s easier to invest with better returns, why would anyone with half a brain want to build anything of significance in this town.

    • Jatzcrackers says:

      100% correct Cankers ! Developers have pretty well pulled the pin on stumping up $$$ to go through the painful process of building anything in the Ville, and not only because the lack of brain power in Walker Street.
      I’m advised by mates in the industry, that the majority of private developers in southern parts of the State need to come up with 40-50% unconditional pre-sales for planned residential projects before finance is handed over.
      Different story in Townsville where private developers are required to provide a minimum of 80-90% unconditional pre-sales in order for a project to commence. Seems the financial decision makers of Australia are only to aware of the ongoing property slump/values that has affected the City for the last decade and have zero confidence in the likes of TCC management.

      • The Magpie says:

        Yet the council(read mayor), the TCC CEO, TEL and the Bulletin all parrot the mantra of ‘build it and they will come’, but don’t seem to allow for a margin of risk – risk which would be entirely the developers.

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        Yes Jatz, the industry always worked on selling 30% plus the penthouses and then start digging in the ground, sell another 40% during construction then the remainder was profit. The 80% for Townsville kills any multi res developments as we have seen, many have been proposed over the last 5 years, not one built, which means how the fuck do you rebuild a CBD if more people aren’t going to live in it, you can’t, something that brainless moron Molachino just doesn’t understand.

  7. Prince Rollmop says:

    So the Prince of TCC is ‘renting’ in Townsville. Pathetic. He didn’t say whether ‘he’ is renting the house or whether ‘council’ ( I mean the ratepayer) is renting the house for him did he? Either way, a FIFO CEO is pathetic. As much as our Town is filled with fuckwits there is no doubt a local candidate would have been a better option, rather than a part-time fly in. No matter how much The Bullshittin and Hayes try to promote this weasel of an import as being a great thing, he isn’t.

  8. Peewee Herman says:

    Should be an interesting Zoom meeting for all News Ltd photographers this coming Tuesday afternoon. Word is that it’s the end for staff photographers at their newspapers. F##k you Rupert.

    • The Magpie says:

      But that policy has been underway for years … photographers have been told to also be reporters, and reporters vice versa … ‘use your phone to take pix to illustrate your stories’. No consideration for the different skills involved there, and thus we end up with a close to an analytically illiterate former photographer as editor of the Townsville Bulletin. no respect for this community at all. And some think The ‘Pie is a bastard for calling him ‘iditor’.

      • Little Rupert says:

        How long before Bulletin becomes ‘online subscription’ only? Surely it’s role as a political tool has failed to evolve and I can’t see how it is financially viable in a print version.

        • The Magpie says:

          It can always be supported by national deals made in Holt Street (hello, Harvey Norman) and in essence has become a multi-page ad with some very poorly reported local stories thrown in amongst the bought in world news and pathetic columnists.

          • Scientician79 says:

            There was some interesting testimony from a former News Ltd photographer to the senate a few weeks back.

            Basically they were instructed to only take photos of pretty people to illustrate stories – get more clicks that way.

            Media watch picked up on it and drew the link to all the stories News Ltd has about hot crims, not just the Astonisher doing it, because they worked out people click on links with pretty photos.

            Maybe another reason why the rest are being given the heave ho?

            Send the reporters out armed with a phone and instructions to get a pic of a “hot backpacker” to go with whatever the story is.

          • The Magpie says:

            A moment of humble brag here … t’was The Magpie who alerted Media Watch to the Hottest Crims story in the first place, even got quoted in the episode saying ‘What were they thinking?”

  9. One legged tap dancer says:

    No more Bully photographers?????
    But what about all those millions that Facebook is paying Rupert and News Ltd for news content? Didn’t ScoMo say that money would be used to provide a better quality news service?
    Bet the Hardly Normal advert photographers get to keep their jobs. After all, they have the difficult job of taking photos of beds, tables, chairs, washing machines, refrigerators and the like, providing more than 50% of the content of the Townsville Bulletin.
    If you took out all the media releases, spin, and Hardly Normal ads there wouldn’t be enough news to warrant printing a paper.

  10. Prins Ralston the magnificent says:

    Of interest, questions have been raised in Queensland Parliament about the recruitment of the Gladstone Ports Corporation CEO and the potential investigation of the process by the Crime and Corruption Commission. Prins Ralston is also on the board of the GPC. The issue is a sordid but laughable mess and well known up and down the Queensland coast. The previous CEO got punted, and his brother-in-law has been the acting CEO now for 2 years. WTF? A Government corporation with no permanent CEO for 2 years? That surely doesn’t comply legally for a Corporation? Maybe Prins can update us (as a Board director) on what’s happening at GPC? Surely he understands legislation and governance, after all he has been touted as the best thing ever for Townsville.

  11. Achilles says:

    Schools and sporting groups in Victoria will be told to avoid terms like “mum”, “dad”, “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” as part of a push to curb the dropout and suicide rates of LGBTQI+ young people. WTF more tail wagging the dog.


  12. salty dog says:

    Five years ago I was told by someone who would know that garbage recycling in Townsville was a myth. Both bins went straight into landfill. Apart from a few bottles and cans, has much happened in the mean time?

  13. The Magpie says:

    So the Queensland Tourism Industry Council want a turf war with The Magpie, do they? Well, they’ve got it.

    But remember as the blood is spilled and the body count mounts, THEY started it when they sent out this email this morning.

    Queensland Top Tourism Town Finalists Announced!

    The finalists are in for Queensland’s Top Tourism Town with 37 towns in the running from across the state. The Awards hosted by the Queensland Tourism Industry Council (QTIC) recognise and celebrate towns that offer an amazing visitor experience.
    QTIC Chief Executive, Daniel Gschwind, said the Awards showcase the great and diverse destinations we have right here in Queensland.

    Large Top Tourism Towns:
    • Bowen
    • Bribie
    • Bundaberg
    • Ipswich
    • Mareeba
    • Maryborough
    • Noosa
    • Redcliffe
    • Redlands
    • Rockhampton
    • Stanthorpe
    • Tambourine Mountain
    • Warwick
    • Yeppoon

    The Magpie was incensed by this intrusion onto his turf, and fired off his protest immediately.

    To Taneil Thornberry, Comms Officer, QTIC, Brisbane.

    Dear Taneil,

    As the writer of a weekly satirical blog about inter alia parish pump matters around here http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au , in which I continually strive to find the funny side of grim matters, I must strongly protest this unwarranted competition coming from a government funded organisation such as yours. This is a lamentable Big Brother intrusion into private enterprise.

    You have certainly stolen my thunder today and have put local social media in an uproar of comic delight when you included Townsville in a competition that wishes to ‘recognise and celebrate towns that offer an amazing visitor experience.
    This sly humorous inclusion is certainly factual, and certainly a masterstroke of comic zaniness, in that anyone arriving here will certainly be offered an amazing visitor experience – although they may not enjoy it all that much, due to the foaming lunacy of our power-crazed Mayor Mullet (aka Clr Jenny Hill) which has laid waste to just about vaguely interesting tourism/visitor project over the past eight years. Should you doubt my word, a comprehensive and factual list supporting this assertion will appear in next weekend’s blog at the above link.

    Look, lovie, far suck of the sav, you have plenty of funny material right there in George Street. Please leave the field up here to a struggling old doddering satirist in a fast disintegrating outpost of the Queensland tourism/business empire.

    Yours more in sorrow than anger,

    Malcolm Magpie
    aka The Townsville Magpie

    The ‘Pie did not think nit the appropriate place to point out to Ms(?) Thornberry that occasional pronouncement from her boss, Daniel Gschwind, would be better received if he included an extra vowel in his name.

    • Grumpy says:

      Redcliffe?? Fucking REDCLIFFE????

      • Little Rupert says:

        Ipswich?? Fucking Ipswich????

      • Jatzcrackers says:

        Well Grumps, Redcliffe used to be sort of like Bribie Island and 1770 area. Generally was considered another of God’s waiting room for the elderly.
        Now, these regions are considered gold mines with massive development/State and Fed Gov infrastructure etc !
        Take a drive around Redcliffe and it’s surrounding region will show plenty of development not to mention a bloody pleasant climate.
        And…they may well score Qld’s next footy team in the NRL ! Sorry AFL followers, you missed out again !

        • Grumpy says:

          Christ, Jatz, in my day it was full of bodgies, crap cars and girls of low moral standards. Where us West End boys went for a fight and a f**k on New Years Eve.

        • Cantankerous but happy says:

          Indeed, Redcliffe is going very well these days, the pensioners and bogans have mostly moved on and lots of developments and investment has the place on the up, even the golf club has a waiting list for membership these days. Toowoomba is another place that has gone well in recent years, gone are the days of grabbing the banjo and visiting the relatives on Xmas day, most of the houses they lived in have been bulldozed and something much better in its place, it’s really doing well. Imagine anyone ever thinking you would have to downsize if you wanted to move from Townsville to Toowoomba, the Jenny Hill effect once again.

          • No More Dredging says:

            More fake news from Cranky: “Toowoomba is another place that has gone well in recent years, gone are the days of grabbing the banjo and visiting the relatives on Xmas day, most of the houses they lived in have been bulldozed and something much better in its place, it’s really doing well. ” Compared to Gladstone or Rockhampton you might be right but if you want to compare the growth of Toowoomba to that of Townsville (and you clearly do) it’s apples and pears. Toowoomba’s growth over the last nine years is 11.09% – way less than Australia (13.15%), Queensland (14.32%) and Townsville (16.4%). Why don’t you twang your banjo with real strings for once?

          • Cantankerous but happy says:

            Do try and focus dickhead, the last 5 years since your mate Jenny Hill got control of this city the Townsville median house price has gone from $355k to $332k, meanwhile in Toowoomba it has gone from $352k to $390k, that is the Jenny Hill effect, that clearly demonstrates the failure of her administration and how far she has sunk the fortunes of this city that a place like Toowoomba is striving whilst Townsville is going nowhere.

          • No More Dredging says:

            Excellent post, Cranky. Can you provide a source for this info or is it commercial-in-confidence?

    • NQ Gal says:

      Where are Cairns, Gold Coast, Sunshine Coast (apart from Noosa) and Brisbane? Do they have their own special category for areas that interstate tourists can fly direct to?

    • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

      I suppose if you are living in the slums of Brisbane, everywhere else looks like a town, but Townsville is by definition a city.

      Only Wikipedia I know, but – Townsville is a city on the north-eastern coast of Queensland, Australia. Townsville is Australia’s largest urban centre north of the Tropic of Capricorn.

  14. Hee haw says:

    Maybe should include Byron Bay now, just ask Steven Miles.

  15. The Magpie says:

    What complete bollocks, if this was the case then the budget would have reflected that in the first place.

    And if not why not?

    • The Magpie says:

      And the good Astonisher’s hard hitting investigative digital click bait writer tells another journalistic fib.

      How do you know it’s ‘unfounded’? Because the council told you so? Boy, does The ‘Pie have a bridge to sell you.

    • Scientician79 says:

      Those pesky accounting rules keep making it look like the Council is in trouble!

      Remember when they also made a loss, but don’t worry that was just because of some silly accounting rule related to grant funding.

      You know those Accounting Standards used by business across the country to make reports comparable and show the true natue of the financial position. Glad we have a Council smart enough to ignore them.

      God help us, the sad part is most of the dunderheads in this town will fall for that defence hook line and sinker.

    • Landfill says:

      Well the council has fucked up there, the so called spokesperson. It’s not an actual cost to ratepayers is complete bullshit. If it’s dumped in our landfill it certainly is a cost to ratepayers. Anything dumped there incurred a cost as tcc have to pay state government in fees. That about being an accounting practice is just a lie. There’s also the cost of burying the shit. Is tcc saying it’s just sitting out in the middle of the paddock uncovered???? Any real journalist would ask that simply question especially if the rubbish is contaminated which is an even greater cost to cover. More questions then answers.

      • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

        Hang on Landfill. Surely you’re not saying we took the contaminated fill from the QG site, covered the cost of disposal, and then paid QG a waste levy on it?

        That would make TCC look like Dickhe….

        Oh, right. We probably did.

    • The Magpie says:

      The ‘Pie is blushing with pride for his readers who no doubt are ‘the resident’ who questioned this in the first place. Astonisher readers were too busy voting for the Most Obnoxious Little Snot in Townsville.

  16. Mr Diversity says:

    I’m fed up with all this diversity crap. Unless you are a homo, bulldyke a retard or a Sheila there is no room for you in the workplace. Straight men and who have no mental health issues and are not an Abo are not seen as an integral part of working society anymore. The world has gone fucking mad and it’s current philosophies actually prejudice straight males. Fucking hypocrites. Where is our support group?

  17. The Magpie says:

    Had about 4 goes at calling TCC today, all unsuccessful.

  18. No More Dredging says:

    ‘Pie, only because of your interest in the Duke, there’s a nice piece in the Betoota Advocate:


  19. NQ Gal says:

    I have to call council almost daily – it is absolute gold when you manage to get a direct number for the department you need!

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      Hummm? Is there a Nester with the skills and inclination to lift the entire internal Council telephone directory and publish it on this blog? It would be a community service.

  20. Cajun says:

    Pie, I don’t mind if someone doesn’t wish to identify with the common pronouns: he or she or it, but taking a pronoun created and exclusively used, up until now, to denote a group of people and applying it to a singular person makes complete nonsense of the English language. Try reading a recent ABC news article, entitled: ‘A groundbreaking campaign is exploding the silence around LGBTIQ family violence’, and keep your brain from hurting, I challenge you. For example, in the first paragraph, the author means Sage first came out to Sage’s parents, not that Sage wanted to. Sage doesn’t have multiple personality disorder, the author just doesn’t want to refer to Sage as she/he or her/him. How about someone makes up a whole new pronoun for those of us who do want to identify as he or she? But for Christ’s sake, make them stop bastardising the English language for the sake of Political Correctness or Inclusivity or whatever the hell this is.

    “Sage Akouri was attending an all-girls school in Melbourne when, at age 14, they first came out as gay to their “strict” Lebanese parents — not that they wanted to. 
    At the time, Sage was in the early stages of privately exploring their sexuality with a close friend when their father installed a recording device on the home phone, so he could listen back to Sage’s calls.
    “He heard a conversation that revealed what was going on between her and I, and that’s how I was forced to come out to my family,” said Sage, 29, who now identifies as trans non-binary, meaning they don’t identify with the sex they were assigned at birth, and feel neither male or female.

    And so it goes, on and on and on.


    (The Magpie edited this comment for length, but the essence of the point remains. Best to always send a link rather than copy and paste, folks.)

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      What does the Q stand for? The only thing I can think of is Queer.

      • The Magpie says:

        Actually, The ‘Pie thinks you are correct. It seems in our new world order of language, homosexuals can call themselves ‘queer’ but others not of an exotic turn of nature are not allowed that privilege, in much the same manner – courtesy of any number of movies, TV shows and books (remember books?) – black Americans and a few of the copy cat Australian aborigines can call themselves ‘niggas’ but others cannot – which is good, because it really is an ugly racist word. The Magpie has the same privilege – he can call himself ‘genius’ but no one else can … or has ever tempted been to.

      • Mr Diversity says:

        I laugh at how many of them don’t like being called ‘faggots’ or ‘poofters’. These are colloquialisms synonymous with Australia. I work with some gays who even label themselves with these colloquialisms and I proudly use the terms myself, always have and always will. Bring back dwarf throwing, beer belly contests and wet t-shirt competitions.

        • The Magpie says:

          The intellectual and emotional challenges pile up, don’t they, Divvy? But your comment was posted as an opportunity to correct your very incorrect assertion that ‘faggot’ is an Australian colloquialism. It is yet another cultural borrowing from both history and America. From Wiki:
          The American slang term is first recorded in 1914, the shortened form fag shortly after, in 1921.[7] Its immediate origin is unclear, but it is based on the word for “bundle of sticks,” ultimately derived, via Old French, Italian and Vulgar Latin, from Latin fascis.[7][8]

          The word faggot has been used in English since the late 16th century as an abusive term for women, particularly old women,[8] and reference to homosexuality may derive from this,[7][9] as female terms are often used with reference to homosexual or effeminate men (cf. nancy, sissy, queen). The application of the term to old women is possibly a shortening of the term “faggot-gatherer,” applied in the 19th century to people, especially older widows, who made a meager living by gathering and selling firewood.[9] It may also derive from the sense of “something awkward to be carried” (compare the use of the word baggage as a pejorative term for old people in general).[7]

          An alternative possibility is that the word is connected with the practice of fagging in British private schools, in which younger boys performed (potentially sexual) duties for older boys, although the word faggot was never used in this context, only fag. There is a reference to the word faggot being used in 17th-century Britain to refer to a “man hired into military service simply to fill out the ranks at muster,” but there is no known connection with the word’s modern usage.[7]

          The Yiddish word faygele, lit. “little bird,” has been claimed by some to be related to the American usage. The similarity between the two words makes it possible that it might at least have had a reinforcing effect.[7][9]

          There is an urban legend, called an “oft-reprinted assertion” by Douglas Harper, that the modern slang meaning developed from the standard meaning of faggot as “bundle of sticks for burning” with regard to burning at the stake. This is unsubstantiated; the emergence of the slang term in 20th-century American English is unrelated to historical death penalties for homosexuality.[7]

          Some gay men have reclaimed the term as a neutral or positive term of self-description.[10][11]

          And since we’re in this bend in the river, the origin of the ‘poofter’ has always escaped The ‘Pie’s knowledge. But now he knows .. and kinda wishes he didn’t.

          Urban Dictionary: (
          Brit/Aussie slang for a male homosexual, based on the permanant stretching of the anus that results from repeated anal sex, which causes farts to be emitted with a “pooft” sound rather than the usual, stacatto “bra-a-a-p”.

          The unfortunate aspect of this derogatory term is that it may lead the unthinking to believe that everyone over the age of 70 is homosexual.

    • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

      Singular “they” has been part of the English language for seven hundred years, not “created and exclusively used to denote a group of people”.

      Even if it didn’t have a long precedent, language can change over time, and if thou objects to that, thou can stop using the word “you” to refer to individuals, because it was originally a plural.

      Also you realise you don’t need “a whole new pronoun” for people who want to be addressed as “he” or “she”?

      • The Magpie says:

        In typical Steve style, you are both right and wrong in the one post.
        Indeed, the modern usage of ‘they’ as a singular personal pronoun, although designated in all grammar references as ‘third person’, is still acceptably used in one way only as a singular. It is an old journalist or PR trick (and The ‘Pie isn’t innocent in this area) to disguise the gender of someone who may be idengtified by ‘him’ or ‘her’ … as in ‘The Pie’s informant said they didn’t want their gender known.’

        But then you get yourself all a-tangle yet again, old buddy ‘o mine, when you pompously lecture us about changing language ‘over time’, which clearly indicates common usage is acceptable. Such changes are never officially accepted until they have been general currency for some time, and then with the general agreement of a majority of speakers. Touch hypocritical from someone who refused to accept that family and domestic violence are one and the same (the latter having a slightly wider compass) – you lost that one, mate, and no, Steve, further correspondence will not be entered into, unless it is a gracious apology for being a stirring fuckwit.

        But in the case of a single person referring to themselves as ‘they’, that is PC and emotional derangement in the extreme. In normal language, pronouns refer to actual single or multiple entities, not someone’s indecision about their (see there it is) sexual orientation. Life’s a bummer (perhaps inappropriate) but if you’ve got a dick, bad luck, your a bloke until the tin snips change it. A small test would be if courts would accept a single defendant as being ‘they’ if the person was up a shoplifting charge, not a shirt lifting charge. Bit dangerous if allowed, the judge might sentence ‘they’ to ‘6 months each, to be served consecutively’. Then there would be a lengthy stay in the watchhouse while it was argued which prisons you go to, the gals or the guys.

        And one supposes Steve, if one of your ‘theys’ was in the Labor Party, ‘they’ would get to vote twice? Why the fuss, mate, you lot already do that anyway.

      • Cajun says:

        1000 apologies Steve, I made a typo. I meant to say: someone please make up a new pronoun for those who DON’T wish to be known as he or she.

  21. Mr Diversity says:

    Magpie, I am aware of the true meaning of the word ‘faggot’, and even ‘faggotry’. However, Aussies have adopted the term as one of our colloquialisms. As for the meaning of ‘poofter’, that is interesting and entertaining. The first time I heard that word was as a kid watching The Paul Hogan Show (I hope Hoges doesn’t get stitched up by the #metoo movement). Now, if people really want to be offended (while having a good laugh) go and download “Rogers Profanisaurus”! I keep a copy on my coffee table and it’s great reading over a few beers with mates.

  22. The Magpie says:

    Is Memory Blank Walker still suffering concussive memory blanks and forgot his
    own government’s rules about masks, or is it just the good old prison warder attitude coming through ‘Do as I say, don’t do as I do?’

    The difference between Les Walker and a computer? With a computer, you only have to punch information in once.

    • Parson Blossomnose says:

      Crikey, he looks like he’s been out in a good paddock, doesn’t he?

      • Wally says:

        Where’s his mask? Indoors anywhere masks are mandatory.

        • Dave of Kelso says:

          Recently a woman was fined $5052.00 (or thereabouts) for not wearing a mask while inside the Perth airport terminal. It will be interesting to see if Messageblank’s breach is vigorously followed up and how much of a weight reduction program is imposed upon his wallet.

          • Dave of Kelso says:

            Thus far there has been no mention of Messageblank the Unmasked on the ABC News website. Unacceptable, so I sent them a text. I look forward to MtU being the nation wide lead story. I did this to assist his reelection when the time comes. What fun!

        • Achilles says:

          Covering his arse, most likely

      • The Wulguru Wonder says:

        Obviously hasn’t forgotten where to line up for second helpings in the Parliamentary cafeteria…..

      • I’ll be plucked says:

        He’s been dining on the hog with Private Cupcake Stewart, Blossom. Have you seen a profile of Cupcake? Looks like triplets in there! Ahhh, Parliamentary dining room! :)

    • Old Tradesman says:

      He might have to go and get another H.I.A. assessment.

    • Charlie Wulguru says:

      Re:- Birdbrain Walker…..Just in time to coincide with the monster ‘shot of a mug’ up on his personal billboard on Bowen Road. You wouldn’t believe that just two months ago this turd was laying flat on his back, pissed and out cold on the dirty floor of a seedy Night Club at one o’clock in the morning and now promoting himself on a billboard for all the world to see. The arrogance and stupidity of this mongrel shows no bounds. What does it say of the fools that have voted for ‘it’.

  23. Wally says:

    Sorry magpie I was in process of replying to your original comment and pressed enter. I was meaning to add to my comment not state what you already posted. What a complete dickhead, so is he getting fined or does it mean we can all not wear a mask now.

  24. The Masked Marauder says:

    Another not-so-fine example of an arrogant politician doing as he/her/him/she/it pleases. Firstly, the police should fine him, and secondly, the gutless Palasczuk and her lapdog Jeanette Dung should call for his scalp. This bloke his a liability and a complete and utter tosser. If he is allowed to wander around the shops ‘mask free’ without punishment, we should have the same rights. And I agree with Parson about our overweight MP. He is either a big beer drinker (no shit Sherlock) or he is showing signs of pregnancy. Did anyone notice if he is lactating? He has certainly been sucking hard on the taxpayer teat.

    Les, you are a disgrace and a failure. Pack up your office and put away your punching gloves and please just fuck off from our city.

  25. Old Tradesman says:

    A person was taken to hospital last night after being bitten by a dog in Townsville.
    Paramedics were called to a home in Condon about 7.33pm where a person was bitten by a dog.
    The patient was taken to Townsville University Hospital with a hand injury.
    THEY were in a stable condition.

  26. One legged tap dancer says:

    I went to Cactus Jacks for dinner on the weekend and had my mask in my pocket, but forgot to put it on when I first entered the restaurant. A staff member quickly came over to me and told me to put it on. She said they had been fined $3000 that week for allowing someone into the restaurant without a mask.
    So the question is: Will the police be fining Messageblank Walker?
    And you’re right Parson, by the size of his gut he’s been eating too many cream cakes in the parliament coffee shop. Maybe he’s beefing up for a heavyweight fight.
    Rematches are very popular these days.

    • Clives twin says:

      Clives twin, Messagebank To-fat-to-walk, is a disgrace. Casually shuffling along without a mask on. I can only imagine the panicked call between Pluckachook and her footstool
      police Commissioner as to whether this incident can be covered over with a lame excuse. Seriously, they have to do something, he broke the law (again). Looking at his girth, did the Mad Cow have to level the dent on the club floor after his chubby frame hit the ground? He looks like the 70’s Detective Bargearse! Please Mrs (or Mr) Walker, put your husband on a low carb diet for Christ’s sake.

      C’mon Ray Hadley, another good story for you to run with nationally. The Pie has got the ball rolling.

  27. Little Rupert says:

    Pollie bashing is a national pastime and I guess Message Bank is making himself a big target. However, I will say that at my local gym at least half the patrons (young, fit, working out without any noticeable lung diseases) are Not wearing masks. There is no way all of them could have mask exemptions.

  28. Strand Ghost says:

    Little Rupert
    When in Gym exercising, masks do not have to be worn so the rules say, I asked at my gym and that’s what they told me.

  29. Dave of Kelso says:

    G’day ‘Pie,
    Regards Messageblank the Unmasked, who or what agency would initiate an investigation and the possible laying of charges?

    • The Magpie says:

      Don’t know, have never seen or heard anything definitive, but surely if it is mandated by the government, then it is un lawful to break the direction, and therefore the police.

      Like they haven’t got enough to do.

  30. The Masked Marauder says:

    Palasczuk and Jeanette Dung are lifting mask restrictions from 6:00 am Thursday, 6 hours earlier than the original midday plan. Woohoo!!! Party time. How kind of these two ‘persons’. Fucking idiots.

  31. NQ Gal says:

    I saw a story in today’s Bullsheet about a former Townsville soldier who, after drinking an entire bottle of bourbon, decided to hit the town and then started groping people and licking necks.

    Now, this was a female soldier feeling up the boys. Where is the outrage that would have accompanied the story if this was a male soldier instead?

    • The Magpie says:

      Um, where’s the problem?

      • Lord Howard Hertz says:

        YIKES!!! Dunno about you, ‘Pie, but I can sure see a problem. This gal could hold a bull out to piss over a barbed wire fence. Having her making a grab for Jimmy and the twins would indeed be a tad confronting.

    • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

      She was sacked and convicted? It sounds like you didn’t read the article at all.

      • The Magpie says:

        Steve, seriously, while we all are now aware of your losing battle with grammar, one wonders if you are suffering some sort of cognitive dyslexial disorder. Or was the question another grammatical cock-up? Yes, she was sacked and convicted. Certainly, the ‘sacked’ part presumably came well before this hearing but this excerpt from the story that The ‘Pie read makes us wonder if you were able to read the article.
        “Military prosecutor Lieutenant Colonel Matthew Fielden said none of the men had expressed any sexual interest in Hite, and that her short-lived career in the army had been marked by two alcohol-related disciplinary convictions for failing to obey orders, and a civilian high range drink driving conviction.

        Hite’s defence lawyer, Squadron Leader Travis Schmidt, said jail time was “off the table” and that his client had been punished by losing her job.

        Group Captain Geeves said Hite, who was now unemployed and living at home with her parents, couldn’t afford to pay a fine.

        He said he would normally send gropers to military detention, but couldn’t do that to Hite because she was now a civilian.

        He convicted Hite and took no further action, saying “your behaviour was reprehensible young lady”.

        • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

          The question was why wasn’t there any outrage over her actions, when clearly she’s faced serious consequences, so why would there be?

    • The Magpie says:

      There is indeed a disparity not just in the relatively off-hand reporting of this matter by gender comparison, but in fact, that disparity in attitude exists in the law as well, including military law. The obverse gender equivalent of the unauthorised grabbing of a random’s joy stick is thrusting a hand up a woman’s dress for what is known colloquially as ‘a feel’. For anyone disgusting enough to do that, the charge would possibly be, depending on the misguided enthusiasm of the action, digital rape. Now sure it’s possible the blokes involved did not make a complaint, and just laughed it off over a drink, and therefore there was no criminal or civil action sought, but had it been male on female action, there is no way that he would be facing charges like ‘indecency’ and ‘common assault in a public place’. Our lad would, depending on the female complainant’s evidence, be facing jail time for digital rape. Quite rightly so, too.

      But The ‘Pie must say he did laugh the evidence where she grabbed one blokes penis but after five seconds, was forced to remove it. Think about that reaction time while you count slowly to five.

      • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

        Claimed disparities in reporting, the law and level of outrage are just manifestations of a persecution complex against men. Each aspect treats the incident with the seriousness it deserves and in line with other similar incidents. The court, in between expressing moral outrage, expressly states how gropers are usually treated.

        • The Magpie says:

          What’s got into you Steve, suddenly, a sensible if highly debatable comment? But there we go with the ambiguous language thing again, mate (or mate-ette, by the sounds of it) … your opening sentence is ambiguous because we don’t know if ‘just’ means only, or if it mean ‘justified’ – does ‘just’ as ‘only’ apply to ‘level of outrage’, or ‘just’ as in justified ‘manifestations of persecution’.
          However, in case we’re starting to sound too chummy and spoiling the fun, you seem to be debating that a gal grabbing a guy’s tackle down the pants is NOT equivalent to a bloke touching up a gal up her skirt. As pointed out in the ‘Pie’s comment, had the matter been a male doing the equivalent to random females, the charges and the outcome would’ve been far more serious. As the professor used to ask, how can this be so?

          The ‘Pie looks forward to your always amusing tussle with language and your unique coherence on this one.

          • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

            Just meaning “only”. Sorry to confuse you, I know I’ve been having trouble with words even before I got vaccinated (I suppose I’m meant to stop at two shots, Pie).

            The outcome would be broadly similar on all counts if the sexes were reversed and it’s only a persecution complex that says otherwise.

          • The Magpie says:

            There, wasn’t hard was it? You must feel better for a little confession. AND a little humour to soften up those bitter edges, well done.

            But sorry, the outcome has NOTHING to do with persecution, it is the LAW as it is applied.

            Stop being a pointless, argumentative goose, madam.

          • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

            Perhaps Steve’s ALP script writers in Brisbane are on rotation and he has a different hand up “his” arse?

  32. The Magpie says:

    Polite question to the Townsville Bulletin: why is this story on the bottom of page 25? Consistency sure ain’t your strong suit, is it, Craig?

  33. Frequent flyer says:

    Fair go!
    You can’t blame Craig for how he treats certain stories. He has to have them approved by Jenny Hill, or if its about rugby league the Cowboys, then they tell him what he can do with them.

  34. The Tin Man says:

    Old Tin Ears Morrison has refused to apologise to the former Australia Post CEO of whom he pineappled. The accidental PM is even more conceited than Jenny Hill and NMD. What a pathetic piece of shit he is. Can’t wait to see his arse voted out next year. The dickhead.

    • George st says:

      Rubbish. The overpaid rockstar ceo deserved everything she got
      Totally inappropriate attitude to taxpayers funds

      • Wally says:

        I agree completely with you tin man, I definitely won’t be voting for each way albo either and hope he gets voted out. You did say dickhead!

  35. The last Bulletin reader says:

    For those who have given up reading the Townsville Bullie…

    Townsville Bulletin
    Tue Apr 13 2021


    Christopher Condon outside the Townsville Courthouse yesterday. Picture: ALIX SWEENEY

    TOWNSVILLE businessman and showgrounds secretary-manager Christopher Condon fronted court on Monday after being charged with a string of serious offences.

    An Australian Federal Police raid on Condon’s properties in April 2020 led to an extensive investigation before he was charged with general dishonesty causing a loss.

    Condon has also been charged with a number of state offences on top of the commonwealth charge laid by the AFP.

    Queensland police allege the offence dates for the three charges of unlawful possession of weapons and authority required to possess explosives are from March 3 last year.

    Condon was required to appear in court on Monday after his matters were adjourned last week.

    Magistrate Steven Mosch adjourned the four charges to May to allow for further case conferencing between Condon’s legal representatives and commonwealth prosecutors.

    Condon will remain on bail until the matters return to court on May 17 for mention.

    In a statement last week, the AFP told the Townsville Bulletin investigations were ongoing.

    “The Australian Federal Police has served a 59-year-old Townsville man with a notice to appear before Townsville Magistrates Court on April 12, 2021, in relation to an offence relating to section 135.1(3) of the Criminal Code Act 1995,” the statement from the federal police read.

    “As this investigation is ongoing it would not be appropriate to comment further.”

    • The Magpie says:

      Last Bulletin Reader, not sure what point you’re trying to make with a 48hour old story regurgitated word for word from the Bulletin, which The ‘Pie declines to publish. The ‘Pie lifts things from the Bulletin for legally condoned reasons of criticism, humour or comment, but rarely whole articles without some point to doing so. Chris Condon’s court appearances have been well and fairly documented this month, and the matter is on-going. Don’t understand where you were trying to come from.

  36. Alahazbin says:

    I see now ‘Ol Memory Blank’is now “the Qld Governments Hydrogen Champion”. Well he is full of gas, and that photo proves it.

    • The Wulguru Wonder says:

      Well, he is starting to resemble a blimp….we can only hope that, like the Hindenburg, he eventually self-immolates.

  37. Guy says:

    Did you know that the term “politically correct” was invented and used in the soviet union ?

    How do you think it escaped the soviet union and became used in common parlance ? Who first used it outside the soviet union ?

    • The Magpie says:

      Maybe you?

    • Kenny Kennett says:

      Well guy, a China man ate an undercooked bat wing in Wuhan China and created a virus. How do you think it escaped the Peoples’ Republic? Who first caught it outside of China?
      It was the same Guy!!

  38. Gull says:

    “Price slashed: our sizzling new subscription deal” says the Bulletin website, rather breathlessly. Only problem is the promo is behind a paywall and you have to subscribe to find out what the new deal is. Not that anybody would want to bother.

  39. Mike Douglas says:

    Dawdling Dath the Queensland Health Minister wont agree to the Federal Government pre -travel quarantine pilot program to get foreign pickers in for the fruit and vegetable picking seasons leaving farmers unable to pick product in Queensland . One couldnt believe you could get a worse Health Minister than Steven Miles but Dath is battling Ambulance ramping , elective surgery wait lists growing , a dispute with Nurses and the Industrial Commission over facemasks and now increased fruit and veg prices at the checkouts and further costs to small businesses .

  40. One legged tap dancer says:

    On Seven (not-so-local) News last night there was a lead story on the Townsville Port’s hydrogen deal. All the usual suspects were there but can anyone explain why Jenny Hill was interviewed?
    Could it be part of a positive exposure advertising deal she has with Seven.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Indeed, she has nothing to do with the port or any of the businesses involved, just a media opportunity and a free feed for the perennial parasite. But the chamber of commerce do the same thing, invite her along to various events for no apparent reason, so it’s not just the Govt Labor cronies that do it. But people should be careful, Jenny Hill has such a deep level of failure around anything she does that just her presence at an event has the ability to sink a project before it even starts, its the Jenny Hill effect.

      • The Magpie says:

        This is a great feel-good positive story, but the reporting of raises a couple of interesting questions.

        Did you notice that this story has a couple of interesting tell-tales, apart from the fact that everyone in the photograph is doing their best not to look at Mayor Mullet.

        Note this from the yarn:
        “Origin’s project involves the development of a hydrogen production facility, where solar, wind and grid power will be used to split hydrogen from recycled water, a gaseous pipeline of some 13km used to transport hydrogen to liquefaction units and storage tanks at the port.
        Ms Underhill said they were looking at a number of sites for the production facility.”

        13 kms of pipeline? That’s a pretty specific number, has a decision already been made? and way too close for use of the government’s SDA land near Korea Zinc BUT way short of Jenny’s baby, Lansdown, which is 40kms from the port. But about the right distance for, say, The Bohle.

        And that’s the thing that sticks out like prawns eyes, particularly in a story in the Bulletin …. there is absolutely NO mention of Lansdown anywhere, which means one of two things … Lansdown is a non-starter, otherwise Jenny would’ve have been gurgling on about no end (maybe she tried and was ignored) , or Jenny is trying to save it up as a big chest thumper for herself in the near future. That’ll be an uphill battle for her in any event, since she had nothing whatsoever to do with Origin’s decision, seems the Port made the crucial running.

        • The Wulguru Wonder says:

          So, the way I read this is that the pipeline itself is “having the form of or being gas; a lacking of substance or solidity”……hang on, don’t we have one of these already called the Haughton pipeline? It certainly seems to be lacking of any real substance or solidity…..

        • Little Rupert says:

          Port of Townsville to current dump site (Julago) = 13km’s. Korea Zinc is same place isn’t it? If Boyle, then it would have to be a Brad Webb(ed feet) location backing onto the Town Common I bet !

        • Russell says:

          I’m really not sure why this is such a “good news” story. What we have here is what we have had for several years now, a project that will produce a valuable resource (hydrogen) being funded from overseas (Japan) with the valuable resource being shipped overseas (Japan) for no benefit to Australia other than to help pay some of our bills short term. When hydrogen-powered vehicles become affordable in Australia we won’t have affordable fuel for them!
          Much the same as digging up our country, sending it overseas (China) and buying it back as value added product (pretty much everything).
          Surely this is unsustainable for Australia in the long term.

          • The Magpie says:

            If the project comes to fruition, there benefit will be jobs … by your argument, we should close Korea Zinc?

            But yes, the scandal of gutless globalisation-seduced politicians refusing to invest in value adding to out abundance of commodity is a staggering generational misjudgement.

          • Dave of Kelso says:

            Yes, which by definition makes us a 3rd world country. Extract the resources with no benefit for the natives.

          • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

            I don’t think hydrogen vehicles are going to be generally competitive with lithium ion batteries anyway. (We should be making those.) But yes, we should be securing a cheap domestic hydrogen supply and at the very least getting a green steel industry off the ground.

          • The Magpie says:

            ‘Green steel’? Is that the same ‘beefless vegetarian steak’?

          • No More Dredging says:

            Russell, no benefit to Australia? No value adding? If this project happens then a major piece of industrial technology will be built here alongside a large renewable energy source – so that hydrogen is produced and bottled on site with a small carbon footprint ready for not only ‘the market’ but for a direct end user. Isn’t this what ‘value adding’ is? And if the plant is onshore at Townsville, built and operated in Australia by Australians with no obvious environmental downside, isn’t that SOME benefit to Australia? The involvement of the Port is another matter. They sign MOUs with every Tom, Dick and Clive, just for the publicity and favourable coverage by the TBully. It seems to work for them.

          • The Magpie says:

            Naughty old Port, doing business with lots of people, employing lots of people, making money, expanding and thereby providing more jobs.
            Really, mate, what is your problem with the port … oh, wait a mo … ah, right, dredging. Got it.

          • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

            Green steel is made using hydrogen in place of coking coal.

        • Charlie Wulguru says:

          Re Photo of Hydrogen Delegation: Not hard to pick the Asians there. Only have to put a tape measure around the girths or them all. Have a go at ‘The Champ’ at the back (He’s usually at the front when there is a camera around). That’s what just three months of free roast pork, free cream cakes and free grog from the George Street canteen can do. He can’t get his belt above his hips.

          • The Magpie says:

            It is also worth noting the respectful dress values of the Japanese businessmen to a business meeting and the Aussies, whose approach to respect for visiting company representatives here range from the ‘unmade bed look’ to the ‘frumpy overhang’ style. There’s a big difference – and reaction – to smart casual and tropical typing pool chic.

      • Lap poodle says:

        But her Labor pals in Anna’s office have the Port Board stacked with Labor Directors, so by default the Mullet being a Labor stooge would receive an invite to the party.

        • The Magpie says:

          That may or may not be so about the board, but whatever, the Port seems to be kicking the only goals around here of late.

          • Nickster says:

            There is No substance to the Port Origin agreement. If there was Origin would’ve had to make an announcement to the ASX.

            No announcement = no substance, it’s just spin.

            Sorry to burst your bubble.

          • The Magpie says:

            Surely an agreement in principle or an MOU is hopeful, some sort of progress? Why so glum, chum?

          • Nickster says:

            Sick of the misleading spin comes from the port Mr Pie that comes to nothing.

            Where is this project – https://www.townsville-port.com.au/townsville-port-welcomes-pit-to-port-rail-freight-initiatives/

          • The Magpie says:

            ‘This project’ would be locked in a George Street filing cabinet while a broke government back-burners this one. Not sure how you lay this wholly with the Port. Suppose you blame the port for the abject failure of the Eastern Rail Corridor overall, with its adjacent SDA land which is being actively white anted by our glory seeking mayor.

          • Cantankerous but happy says:

            Horse shit Nickster, we enter into many preliminary agreements and don’t announce on the ASX, unless the preliminary costs would be at such a level that it would effect the results or forecast why would a trading update be required.

          • Nickster says:

            CBH I suggest you refresh yourself with listing rule 3.1

            Pie you old softie apologist looks like Blondie at the port has you under her spell too, you wouldn’t be the first. Somehow she has full accountability for the successes, but no links to any failures.

          • The Magpie says:

            The’Pie has been called many things, but ‘a softie’ is a first. The Magpie makes his judgements on available knowledge, and as far as the port in concerned, that is across an array of available media, and he does not have any inside information. You apparently have, please share.

          • Cantankerous but happy says:

            Well Nickster you must have seen the agreement to come to that conclusion, if it is a non binding MOU as one presumes it is then there would be no need to update the ASX, otherwise we would all be updating shit on a weekly basis. As this agreement would have negligible effect on costs outside of allocated R & D or in this case exploration costs that Origin would normally undertake there would no requirement for notice to the ASX.

  41. The Magpie says:

    New face, old problem.

    A copper up on misconduct charges has enough on her plate with apparently new reporter Hugh Suffell suggesting she suffers a split personality disorder, and is actually two people.

    Reporter Suffell mysteriously writes:

    Morgan Elizabeth Lyons appeared in the Townsville Magistrates Court on Wednesday after she was charged with using a restricted computer without consent and cause or intend to cause detriment, damage or gain.
    Ms Lyons was arraigned on one charge of disclosing dashcam footage obtained through the knowledge through the performance of the duties of a police officer.
    The footage showed an incident in which a teenager was hit by a police car on Palm Island and was leaked and shared on Snapchat.
    Ms Morgan’s solicitor Claire McGee appeared via video link and asked for the charge to be transferred to Brisbane for a guilty plea.
    Ms Morgan will appear in the Brisbane Magistrates Court on April 21.
    The Bulletin understands Ms Morgan remains employed by the Queensland Police Service in the Townsville region.”

    Seems Ms Morgan/Lyons is an ideal subject for out thread about personal collective pronouns used for individuals. But The ‘Pie is in two minds about that.

    • Makin Bacon says:

      Officer Lyons seems to have a roo loose in the top paddock. Why do we get these weirdo’s in Townsville? Why endanger their career for the sake of Snapchat? Silly Cop.

    • Little Rupert says:

      She’s lucky her actions didn’t start a riot on Palm. We don’t need another one of those …….

      • I’ll be plucked says:

        No we don’t need another riot on Palm Rupe, HOWEVER, some of the residents might be gunning for one and the compo to follow!

  42. Old Tradesman says:

    It’s good to see that the project around the Queens Hotel is going to go ahead, it being Federal/Private enterprise money, however since it is tied up with the City Deal arrangement it still has to be ticked off in conjunction with Local and State agencies, interesting to see how this eventuates as madam Mullet didn’t approve of it last time. So NMD for your information part of the promised $195m is going to be spent here in a very worthwhile project that will stimulate growth and pay it’s fair share of GST. The other question that I pose to NMD is what has happened to the $195m of the state water pipe monies? I believe that $6 odd million has been allocated for engineering studies and the rest has been redirected to fund the budget blowout to $15B for Cross River Rail in the South East. Maybe NMD you could clarify this by posing some questions to the Champion for Hydrogen Mahommed Ali Walker, no crime in Townsville Harpic and I hate coal private Cupcake Stewart?

    • I’m busy at the trough says:

      We can’t help you Tradie, me (Private Cupcake, Harpic the King of Flush and Mohammed Memory Blank Walker) are far too busy at the trough.

      ‘What’s next, oh yes my travel. And expended claim for last few weeks!’ :(

    • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

      “part of the promised $195m is going to be spent here”

      Wait up – was the move already underway before the $195 million became available? How were they previously going to fund it?

      It sounds like paying for this project from the $195 million actually means less money for the city?

      • Little Rupert says:

        Can that development even be done for anything like $195m?

      • Mike Douglas says:

        Good old Steve from Belgian Gardens . It must be hard keeping up with your comments on this blog as well as your very frequent TTE in the Astonisher but yet again you dont do your homework or understand business or finance. Great Barrier Reef Marine Park Authority is the anchor tenant, so unless they secured ” an anchor tenant ” Steve they couldn’t do the project, which will consist of retail and arts, and fill vacant stagnated land, create jobs and a precinct near the Ferry Terminal and the Ville . Mayor Hill couldn’t make it happen but Phil Thompson could, so as both Molachino and Rehbein wont run for the Federal seat of Herbert for Labor, maybe you could be Labor’s person and take on Phil .

        • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

          What is it you think Phil Thompson did?

        • Cantankerous but happy says:

          For fucks sake Mike, Molachino in Canberra, don’t even think it, that bloke has a level of stupid that is actually contagious. It’s bad enough he will probably get the opportunity to keep Townsville in the miserable state it’s currently in at the next council election, but at least we have a chance to move to another town and escape him, so don’t mention it again, not even in jest.

        • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

          STEVE for PM!

  43. The Magpie says:

    Good heads up, Leight. Fixed. Thanks.

  44. Strand Ghost says:

    Tradesmen maybe NMD is out mowing lawns??

  45. Frequent flyer says:

    Oh Steve, Belgian Gardens, surely you jest..
    Follow the bouncing ball. The family that owns the Hive site lodged plans for approval with council many moons ago. Because it wasn’t Jenny Hill’s idea she gave it the thumbs down. The Feds now see it as a great site for the Great Barrier Reef Marine Park Authority and agree to a long term anchor (look it up Steve, its not a ship’s mooring) tenancy, which makes that stage of the Hive project viable. Its a bit like residential developers needing to sell a percentage of apartments before building new housing developments. Get the picture?
    Now we have to hold our breath while it goes to Townsville City Council for approval.
    Knowing the family involved in the Hive project there will be no brown paper bags on offer, so that’s a negative. And don’t forget that Jenny threatened to “cut” Phillip Thompson, so his support for the Hive development won’t see our council arm raising aerobic team bucking instructions from the puppeteer.
    If Jenny stuffs this up and refuses a development approval simply because she can’t claim any credit for it then Townsville is officially stuffed.
    But wait, Steve, there’s more.
    Phillip Thompson just might see the benefit in pledging all or part of that $195 million (the Fed Govt money your mates in Brisbane knocked back for Jenny Hill’s pipeline to nowhere) towards a concert hall and convention centre in the Hive precinct. Unless of course the Cowboys need an extension to their Centre of Mediocrity (aka as office and training field) adjacent to White Elephant Stadium.
    Methinks Thompson is way too smart and too ethical to pour any more money into a football team.
    Can’t wait for the council meeting.

    • No More Dredging says:

      FF, ” . . . . there will be no brown paper bags on offer, so that’s a negative.” Who needs brown paper bags when there’s a local member with millions falling out of his stuffed pockets? Hasn’t he also “pledged” $15m for the Honeycombs/Sealink hotel and ferry terminal just up the street from the Queens Hotel? Not that I mind all the socialism coming out of Canberra. If it’s a rort then there are plenty here that will whine about it, or not. But I do have to question whether having GBRMPA as an anchor tenant would meet the definition of ‘value adding’?

      • The Magpie says:

        Interesting choice of words in there, NMD … ‘whine’ has negative, derogatory connotations, so you are saying ‘plenty here’ shouldn’t criticise such a ‘rort’? Perhaps you could clarify.

        • No More Dredging says:

          ‘Pie, there are regular contributors who use expressions such as “begging bowl”, “cap-in-hand” etc suggesting that nothing happens in Townsville unless there is a government (read taxpayer) contribution. They seem to be silent, so far, about Ff’s suggested Phil-anthropy for The Hive development.

          • Old Tradesman says:

            NMD, after you finish your gym mowing work can you please let me know where the $195m for the water pipe has gone.

          • No More Dredging says:

            Tiresome Tradie, I laid out the Council timeline (published Nov20) the other day – that’s where you got the $6m figure, remember? I guess when GHD produce the plans then the contracts will be allocated, the pipes and pumps purchased and delivered and the large portion of the dough will go into the ground. Do you actually read these replies or am I wasting my time?

          • The Magpie says:

            Sometimes … just sometimes … reading your replies and wasting one’s time are the same thing.

  46. The Magpie says:

    Oops … that there were nine green bottles …

    Seems Townsville is without an council economist from Friday.

    David Lynch, main protagonist for the phantom Hilton Hotel by the stadium leaves the TCC tomorrow. We will all be able to look back on David’s time of achievement with the council, who can forget his initiative to …. ummm , to …. well, you know, those blokes work behind the scenes to make this place the great city it is.

    Maybe back into partnership with Dolan Hayes, perhaps?

  47. Guy says:

    For what it’s worth given the Australian pull out of Afghanistan I suddenly remembered a quote from the Taliban in the early days of the invasion.

    You have the watches.

    We have the time.

    • Gunny Sargent Highway says:

      And just like with the Russians, the US and it’s coalition got its ass kicked. Spending something like 3 trillion dollars trying to destroy a bunch or rock throwers and in the end it was a waste of time because the cave dwellers are still there. Mind you, those poppy fields are a good earner.

      • The Magpie says:

        Judging by some of your previous comments here, Gunny, you sound like you’d be a bit of an expert on poppy fields.

        • Gunny Sargent Highway says:

          Pie, you would be surprised what tasks are assigned to special operations people. Killing (legally) is not the only thing some soldiers do. But most of the public are naive, are sleeping soundly in their beds at night and sheepishly believe the Governments narrative that we are over there just shooting terrorists and keeping the world safe. So funny…..

          • The Magpie says:

            If this is in reply to The ‘Pie’s previous comment, then you are hinting that in between the occasional ‘whack job’ (legal of course but still good fun), you helped harvest poppies?

          • Grumpy says:

            Ohhhhh. Secret Squirrel stuff! I suspect real Walter Mitty stuff here. Go play soldiers somewhere else, you valour thief.

          • TheOtherGuy says:

            It would be helpful of you could spell “sergeant” correctly. Only a WOFTAM would get it wrong. Let’s also have your understanding of what “gunny” means?

          • The Magpie says:

            Our friend is in the thrall of cheap thrills and cultural cringing … it refers to the Clint Eastwood film Heartbreak Ridge, in which he plays Marine Gunnery Sergeant Tom Highway.

            So true that some people grow up, others just grow older.

      • Achilles says:

        The Brits were arse kicked in Afghanistan in the 19th century, and so was Alexander over a millennium earlier, he lost more troops in one day than he had lost in his whole campaign up until then.

        What’s that proverbial comment about reading history or be condemned to repeating it?

        • The Magpie says:

          You forgot the Russians … at that time a few decades ago, the US was actually backing and supplying …ta da … the Taliban. That got the Ruskies on the run, then came history’s worse case of aerial parking and things changed overnight.

          • Grumpy says:

            The Yanks also initially bankrolled Ho Che Minh, but double crossed him. Something that he never forgot.

        • Gunny Sargent Highway says:

          And who could forget the Turks kicking our dopey asses at Gallipoli. How embarrassing.

          • The Magpie says:

            Indeed they did, but we remember and revere the ANZACs for their courage and determination after a callous British blunder put them in an untenable situation. Interesting to note that as far as The ‘Pie knows, Australia has never initiated a war off its own bat, it has always been at the behest and first move by an ally. Could be wrong about Japan, which was the only time this country was actually threatened, but the Poms probably declared first and we kitted up for them. The thanks we got was the Brisbane Line, designed by Churchill wasn’t it?

          • Dave of Kelso says:

            Give us all your service record. Go back far enough on this blog and you will get an inkling of mine. Where is yours?

            You come across as a very troubled individual with a difficulty in clear written expression and a fixation on military service that I suspect you are psychologically unsuited for.

            In the subdued lightening of your bedroom give your teddy bear a hug and go to sleep.

    • Polythene Pam says:

      For what it’s worth read George MacDonald Fraser’s “Flashman in the Great Game” for a real a sense of the futility of engaging in Afghanistan

  48. Peanuts says:

    This is beyond a joke, once again BOM radar isn’t working and we’re still in the official cyclone season.

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      So fucking what! It is a piece of machinery that goes around and around a lot. Routine maintenance would be somewhat expected don’t you think. Or PeeNuts, Are you one of those precious petals who quiver at the loss of a life affirming website, in your case, you poor tragic chook, the BOM?

      • Anger management says:

        Demented of Kelso, have you been sniffing napalm again? Your previous two posts which contain anger outbursts, indicate that you had either a bad nights sleep or you are having some sort of mental episode. Please take 10 mg of Valium, turn off that death metal music, stop playing ‘Fortnite’ and go sleep it off, petal.

      • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

        “Routine maintenance” you say? Equipment failure they say – close enough is good enough hey mate?

        remember it is only a couple of months since it last shat itself and was offline.

  49. The Magpie says:

    Andrew Peacock, the former Liberal leader, has died in the US.

    • The Magpie says:

      Unfortunately, Peacock will be most famously remembered as the butt of Paul Keating’s scathing wit, when he was described by him a ‘a painted, perfumed gigolo’, and again, when seeking to regain Liberal leadership, Keating asked ‘Can a souffle rise twice?’

      Peacock himself preferred the media name ‘the colt from Kooyong’, but he never made any substantive contribution to Australian politics compared with his contemporaries.

      • Silver spoon says:

        Agh yes, Mr Peacock. A politician from the era when pollies like himself and Whitlam spoke and sounded like they belonged in Windsor castle. Today we have the Gillard’s, Hansen’s and Katters, politicians that sound like they are two chromosomes short. Either way, another dickhead heads across the Styx river. Toot toot all aboard.

    • CotCase says:

      So Drew Peacock is finally stiff. (Say it out loud).

  50. Frequent flyer says:

    I see Jenny Hill has finally weighed in with her vision to solve the youth crime disaster in Townsville.
    Keep it simple Jenny and forget about the LNP handbook. Just lock up the little shits so they can’t cause more damage and heartbreak. I know your mate Anna won’t like it, but at least we ratepayers would get the impression that you are on our side for once.
    The sooner the borders open to Malta the better.

    • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

      Wonder if this is the “dorothy dixer” precursor to an announcement from Nanna Anna that this will come to pass in the fullness of time and after an abundance of committees, enquiries, pilot programs and reports.

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