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The Magpie

Saturday, April 3rd, 2021   |   254 comments

Lecture, Hector, Neglect … The Real Service Motto Of Jenny Hill’s Council Was Revealed In Several Alarming Incidents This Week.

And it is a policy of neglect that is endangering our lives and health … sewage filled back yards are only the tip of this shitberg, as The Magpie reports.

A question for the Daily Astonisher … why is a mayor openly lying to a council meeting not worthy of more inquiry? … the episode was treated as a throwaway line.

Mayor Mullet is also a worthy winner of The ‘Pie’s occasional trophy, the Ironywoman Challenge Cup … it must be the most ill-timed photo op of recent times.

And Scott Morrison’s early April Fool’s joke … Scomo the scallywag pranks the gals.

Bentley still elsewhere, back soon from his travels.

Action And Reaction Our Caring Council

 Seems someone in Walker Street reads The Magpie’s Nest.


The year-long saga of the busted storm water inlet and damaged guttering in Kulgun Crescent in Kelso– featured in this blog for two for three weeks now – has been resolved. Just days after some locals held a first anniversary party for the damaged area and the pretty orange netting that has surrounded it since March last year, the damage has been repaired. A crew of TCC workers spent a few hours during the week working on the site.


But not without a little passive aggression, and an unwitting revelation of hidden dangers caused by the council’s dilatory approach to matters.

A Magpie readers who has kept us abreast of the neglect strolled along to see what was happening when the council trucks rolled up unexpectedly early in the week. As he ambled over to see what was happening, he was intercepted about 30 metres away by a very touchy foreman, an apparently testy bastard who seemed to be very ill-informed about his position in the world. It became clear that complaints and a satirical first birthday party in The Magpie’s Nest has stirred them up in Walker Street. Our trainee pooh-bah told our stroller ‘no closer, this is an active work site’, which is a right and proper safety direction. Then, he added that there were to be no photos of staff, their truck or the job – and none of the activity was to go on social media.

Oh really, Adolf? Not your call at all, sport, and a bloody little Hitler overstep, if ever there was one Show us where in the Budding Dictator For Dummies textbook you get a) the right to tell someone standing on public property that they cannot take photographs … FYI even the cops don’t have such a blanket authority –  and b) where the fuck did you get the complete buffoonery of telling someone what they can post on social media, you A-grade twat? As a copper mate told The Magpie ’We get photographed on the job, what’s so bloody precious about honest council workers doing their work?’

Any way, this boofhead was duly ignored, and the work was duly covered, albeit from a distance.

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And voila …

Screen Shot 2021-04-03 at 11.54.44 pm

But that shot with the ladder has us intrigued, as some blokes disappeared into the abyss … which in fact was a small version of exactly that.  Our diligent reader informed the Nest, Seems that some three metres east of the actual collapse on the surface, and a full three metres underground two pipes have separated causing a growing underground void in the area. Had it been repaired when reported it might have been a much smaller job. Oh well, better late that than never.”

Indeed, but if our reader’s shit stirring hadn’t poked the Walker Street bear, that ‘void’ could have become extremely dangerous, collapsing part of a footpath and part of the road. A clear threat of injury to motorists, pedestrians and local kids. Any others around town of a similar nature, The ‘Pie will ask the coun … oh, forget it.

The TCC is like an old-style Harley Davidson … you have to give it a hefty kick for it cough into action.


This Is Another Dogged Campaign To Get Council Action Prompted Another Example Of Dangerous TCC Neglect.

And somewhat more urgent. This email floated into the Nest on Thursday … name and address supplied o The ‘Pie for verification.

In Feb 9 I reported trees overgrowing stop signs at intersections near my home. Unfortunately,  despite reporting to council the dangerous situation that could possibly lead to a fatality, I received an inadequate response. (see emails)

Taking a different tack I phoned my local council rep, Liam Mooney. who assured me he would deal with the problem. After four phone calls, one message and a further email, his promise to get back to me has not eventuated. It is now approaching two months and no action has been taken,
despite my offer to undertake the work myself.
Perhaps making this public might accelerate some action.

Now, surely, most people, even Ralston-ravaged pen pushers in Walker Street, would realise the danger posed by an obscured STOP sign, but not only did the TCC apparatus snooze on, it did not even make perfunctory replies to a serious email on a serious issue. A thread makes interesting reading.

On the 15 Feb, this exchange, starting with the complainant to council.

Hi xxxxx ,

The signs are obscured by trees. As they are STOP signs they present a serious safety issue, so urgent attention is required.




On 12 Feb 2021, at 10:01 am, TCC Enquiries <email hidden; JavaScript is required> wrote:

Good morning xxxx,

Thank you for contacting the Townsville City Council.mSo that we may be able to assist, can you please advise if the sign are obscured by trees or they are damaged.

We look forward to hearing from you.



Senior Customer Service Representative
Planning & Community Engagement  Division  

So much for engagement! Why couldn’t the council send someone out to look for themselves? And what difference does this make?mBut, with the speed of the 150 year old tortoise rising for his annual piss, things started to edge along on February 16 … or so we thought.

Hi xxxxx,

I raised the issue on Feb 9 (over two weeks ago) This still has not been attended to. As it is an issue that could cause a potentially fatal injury I’d appreciate a little more urgency.


On 16 Feb 2021, at 11:50 am, TCC Enquiries <email hidden; JavaScript is required> wrote:

Hi xxxxx,

Thank for the additional information.mI have raised a request for each intersection.

Mabin & Garden Street – CSTRE/21/00584

China & Garden Street – CSTRE/21/00586

If you need to contact us regarding this matter, please quote the above reference number/s.

Kind Regards



Nothing further until someone named Kayden,  stepped up to the pulpit. Tom provide this patronising, arrogant and totally irrelevant reply in this exchange – (underlining by The Magpie.)

Date: 15 March 2021 at 7:35:57 pm AEST


Hi Kaydon,

The work still hasn’t been done, despite Council crews working in the area. It is now over a month since I reported the problem. If I decide to undertake the work myself to make the signs visible , am I likely to be doing anything illegal?

Attached is a pic of one of the signs, as you can see, you can’t see the sign.



 Screen Shot 2021-04-03 at 10.49.28 pm

Ten days later:

On 25 Feb 2021, at 3:24 pm, TCC Enquiries <email hidden; JavaScript is required> wrote:

Good afternoon xxxxx,

Thank you for contacting Council.

Your requests were lodged with the maintenance department on 16/02 and are in progress. The original request does note that it is urgent as the stop signs are obscured. It may be worth noting that there are solid white lines marked on the road, which also means you must stop before entering the intersection.

Per the Queensland road rules: Stop and give way lines have the same meaning and authority as stop and give way signs.

If you approach a stop line or give way line, where there is no corresponding sign installed, you must obey the road markings as if there was a sign in place.

Thanks and regards,


Senior Customer Service Representative

Community Engagement

Planning and Community Engagement

WTF? Let’s see now, a resident advises the council of a dangerous situation which is its responsibility, and instead of immediate action, the helpful informant gets trite advice on road rules!?! What next, telling us that one shouldn’t drive into potholes, it only makes them bigger, especially if we are not observing the speed limit.

This is all very seriously wrong, in both attitude and action. Tell us, CEO Ralston, is this area of bureaucratic bullshit covered in your brave new world of Walker Street? Seems a great deal more awareness of real time and the real world is needed, or will it take a possibly serious prang for you to do something. And maybe spend money on lawyers now that this matter is in the public domain, you will be in the shit (a favourite substance with this council) if something serious happens.

But How Many Other Signs Are Obscured By A Lax Council?

Certainly at least one.

The day after receiving this email exchange, The Magpie happened to be driving through Garbutt, when he came upon this unfolding vista at the intersection of Dearness and Ramsay Street, which are much used by kids from local schools.




If it’s important enough to be there, it’s surely important enough to be seen.

Days Of Shame, Blame And Regret.

 Screen Shot 2021-03-29 at 11.47.34 am

If ever one single interview with Jenny Hill starkly confirmed her failure of leadership, the unforgivable irresponsibility of the Wulguru sewage scandal would be it. And that includes openly lying to a council meeting.

A little history.

George Chritiansen Screen Shot 2021-03-19 at 8.30.48 pm

Despite a couple of transitory stories in a wholly uncurious Townsville Bulletin, the TCC’s lack of urgent action prompted residents to contact their local Federal member George Christensen, whose seat of Whitsunday takes in some southern suburbs of Townsville including Wulguru. Christensen, on a rare visit to Australia from apparent conjugal duties in the Phillipines, took up the challenge with gusto and, curiously, doggerel, as featured in the Magpie’s Nest a couple of week’s ago.

This no doubt needled Mayor Mullet enough into a panicked ‘explanation’ for her council’s inexcusable laissez-faire attitude to this known problem. She told a council meeting that federal money was available to fix the problem. That statement was not just a typical cack-handed attempt at a political tit-for-tat, it simply wasn’t true. And as it turns out, a totally unnecessary thing for our addled headed nincompoop mayor to make.

Screen Shot 2021-03-29 at 11.33.48 am

First Christensen confirmed the lie, that no such funds were available or promised, making Clr Hill mutter ‘I must have been mistaken’, and then in the very next breath telling us ‘it doesn’t matter anyway, the money is already in the 2020/21 budget.’mFFS woman, if that is the case, why lie about federal funds being available, when not only they were not, but also therefore not needed?!?

Jenny Hill’s literary hero is surely Harry Flashman because this incompetent woman’s failures don’t end there. A certain giveaway of this is when she hauls out the ever-at-her-elbow grab bag of spurious excuses. A couple of the best whoppers.

“We believe there are people with illegal connections into the sewer system and they are the biggest problem.” No, madam Mayor, the biggest problem, if this is even remotely true, is that you have done nothing about it. Do you ‘b elieve it’ or ‘know’, the latter being your job?

Then trying to throw some shade on her predecessors when she says:’ The issue was exacerbated by an expansion at Lavarack Barracks and the construction of the new hospital in Douglas. Between those two areas alone, you’ve got a couple of thousand new people working in an area using systems and things like that.”n‘Things like that’? Now there’s a vague phrase that just about sums up your grasp of this issue, Jenny. And a strange one for you to use, since you proclaim yourself to be a qualified scientist.

And then this: ‘For a while there, we didn’t know how many pedestals there were at Lavarack.’ Why, didn’t you ask? Surely if Lavarack is using the city system, as it is, the very first thing a competent administration would need to know is how many pedestals exist in Australia’s largest defence base. We are entitled to believe this is also a lie.

On top of all that, our mayor has tried to future proof herself for what will undoubtedly be further inaction on this issue. She told the Bulletin “If they do something like decide to have the 2000 Singaporean troops camp at Lavarack, I would assume they would bring in potable (sic) toilets … if they pump them into our system, it can cause problems, especially in wet weather.” (One trusts the paper meant ‘portable’, or is there some new a Pete Evans scheme to create potable water out of poo.)

Bottom Line.

Drivers can avoid potholes, people can sigh at unmown median strips, vandalised Welcome To Townsville signs can be left in tatters, BUT residents cannot avoid dangerous health hazards when their backyards are (repeatedly) flooded with sewage.

Our city is descending into third world status in some areas of administration, courtesy of our third world self-seeking and unaccountable leadership.

But hey, it’s your city, vote how you like.

Can Motels Claim Back On Pedestal Tax, When ‘Deposits’ Are Unexpectedly Returned.

This would be a question at least one motel could be asking. This from a regular reader:

This BS from the Mullet makes me laugh, the sewerage problem at Wulguru has been going on for years and nothing gets done. Even before Fairfield Waters existed, the Cluden Park Discovery (then Oasis) motel flooded and there was sewage pouring out of a few toilets and showers on the ground floor rooms and out the front near the pool. I was told by a previous house keeper that it was nothing unusual as it happens every time there’s a big downpour, and council say they can’t do anything about it as the motel and caravan park were too low.

Maybe the council could credit them some of that pedestal tax? (Hahahaha, oh, The ‘Pie does amuse himself sometimes.)

But Mayor Mullet Gets Our Irony Woman Trophy This Week

Possibly the worst timed photo op imaginable, when Our Jen posed grimly for the cameras. From comments

The Magpie 

March 31, 2021 at 10:37 am  (Edit)

Mayor Jenny Hill finally finds something her council won’t allow in our backyards. Sewage shit is OK, but … 

Jenny backyard dv Screen Shot 2021-03-31 at 10.34.03 am

And it is clear the dead hand of the LGAQ was involved in this meaningless patronisation of the public. The LGAQ just LOVES careless, meaningless buzz phrase waffle.

‘I will support activities to end domestic and family violence in our workplace and our community.‘ This is written like a Year 5 class project.

First the redundancy: What is the difference between ‘domestic and family violence’? Does it mean rich people (like Jenny and Greg Hallam) should stop beating their hired domestic help?

And what degree –  if any – ‘domestic and family violence’ occurs in the workplace? Is this an admission of widespread nepotism?

If you’re going to patronise people while ignoring basic civic duties (like allowing shit-covered backyards), best to try to prove your smarter than those whose heads you deign to pat.

Bloody muppets.

Some Self Pity From The Townsville Bulletin Iditor?

Craig Warhurst 41EfRWH8w

Is Iditor Craig Warhurst talking about his own recent arrival among us? Beginning an editorial with the following words is bound to cause confusion as to the subject.

STARTING any new job is hard. Will you get on with your colleagues? Is the work what you were expecting? Is it looked down upon to have crumbs stuck throughout your keyboard because you love snacking more than typing?

But what about starting your new job as the boss and finding out many of the staff you’re in charge of are incompetent to fulfil their roles?

Alas no, with the paper’s usual chutzpah, he is talking about the Cowplops and their new coach.

Sure Beats Gwyneth Paltrow’s Candles

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No doubt some of the good ol’ boys were getting an extra jingle in their spurs when it was announced that there is to be a Dolly Parton flavoured ice cream. One supposes teaming Dolly up with dairy products sends the ultimate subliminal message, but she will not be trying to … err … hold a candle to Goofy Gwyneth. The company making the lickable treat,  Jeni’s Ice Creams, tell us:  “The strawberry pretzel pie flavor is “our ode to the Queen of Country: sweet and salty, with timeless appeal, deep American roots, and makes you feel good.”

Now, it is certain that some males, writhing with thwarted impossible ambitions of making a twosome of their solo fantasies, will make crude jokes about ‘deep American roots making you feel good’ – not that they’ll ever know … but The ‘Pie has always loved Dolly’s two greatest assets … her music and her sense of humour. (What were you thinking?)

Favourite quote: ‘I’m know I’m no dumb blonde, because I ain’t dumb … and I ain’t blonde”.

Stoking The Fires Of Feminism.

Oh, that Scott Morrison, he is a one, isn’t he?

‘Make up the numbers of sheila’s in the cabinet, you say? Sure why not? (Whistles) Amanda, come here, I’ve got a job for you.’

 Amanda Stoker Screen Shot 2021-04-03 at 9.44.52 pm

Without going over ground already covered by many others, Senator Stoker’s main claim to political discourse is her insistence that she says she ‘does not believe in shaping politics through lens or framework of gender.’

Crikey tells us she’s dismissed sexist bullying, been vocal in her opposition to transgender rights, and is a favourite of men’s rights activists.

And the SMH: Last year, she said then-Queensland opposition leader Deb Frecklington “should not be playing the gender card” to defend her position and said women shouldn’t need to frame the challenges they face in politics through the lens of gender. (SMH)

The Prime Minister’s merry jest indeed, and the clitoratti are going all Queen Victoria on us and are not amused.

 Screen Shot 2021-03-31 at 9.54.21 am 

But Smirko has really thought this one through … his cabinet chorus line seems to feature a selection of the most unlikely candidates for sexual harassment you could imagine. Look, not making light of a serious subject, (well, yes, I am, just this once) but take Michaela Cash (someone,please). Really, can you imagine anyo …. No, let’s not go there. Suffice to say, you wouldn’t a word in edgeways, let alone anything else.

But hey …

Screen Shot 2021-03-29 at 7.57.16 pm So are we, ma’am, so are we.

And The Wise Words Of The Week


Hey go to inestimable Guardian columnist Marina Hyde, who has a very considered side beyond her savagely funny word-smithing. Here, she was talking about Boris Johnson and the Tories, but it strikes a chord everywhere. In Australia, this saddest of truths applies to every level of government:

But then, public life isn’t what it was. Nobody at the top seems to see it as anything much more than a game to which any number of moral failings have been “priced in”. Nobody resigns any more, nobody says sorry any more, and nobody really needs to take anyone’s calls any more. You can see why people have learned not to expect better. It saves time.

A Grim Week For America

Biden gets on with returning some decency to the office of President, but faces massive challenges in returning the nation to some sense of normality. Sadly, this week’s gallery shows there’s a ways to go with some things remaining as they always have been.

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 And Finally, How It All Started …

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That’s it for this Easter week, trust you are or have enjoyed a welcome break, Bentley will be back soon from his travels. In the meantime, laugh or let fly with your own view in comments. And if you would like to support The Magpie’s Nest and the permanent costs that continually circle The Nest, the donate button is below.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. Mike Douglas says:

    Townsville City Councils woes and ineptitude will only continue whilst the Mayor and Deputy focus their time trying to divert attention from their parties failed youth justice programs and hapless three local State MP,s . Then there’s plotting revenge on Phil Thompson because he exposed pedestal tax , rates increases , Landsdown lack of plans and details . It takes time to hide Councils issues from two independent Councillors , f.o.i requests and ratepayers . True to form when Molachino responded to Townsvilles population hitting 200,000 he parroted the Mayors pet program Landsdown being the key . The exit of key local resident investors departing the City as they see no future trying to deal with Mayor Hill and Council diverting their $ to regions where Councils arnt involved with party politics .

    • Critical says:

      I keep wondering if any traffic modelling has been undertaken to assess the impact of increased traffic usage on the Flinders Highway from Townsville to Lansdown. Sounds like a bloody traffic disaster is going to happen if the number of people forecasted by Mullet actually end up working at Lansdown as I doubt they’ll be living at Woodstock.

      • The Magpie says:

        Indeed. The ‘Pie asked exactly question in comments a few months ago. Great minds an’ all that …

        • Critical says:

          Now I’ve worked it out, the Flinders Highway isn’t Mullets responsible so she couldn’t give a damm about the traffic and impacts on the traffic flows and local communities. It’s a Queensland government responsibility and nothing much happens with highway upgrades without Commonwealth government funding. Reckon that if Mullets Lansdown project get up, she’ll then start screaming that the Flinders Highway needs multi million $$ upgrades.
          Over to Dale Last, Bob Katter and Phillip Thompson to start asking Mullet for the relevant traffic impact studies etc. Bet no such studies exist. Maybe Fran can ask a carefully question in a full Council Meeting and let’s see what the answer is or if Fran gets closed down by the autocratic Mullet.

          • The Magpie says:

            A Mullet traffic study, piece of piss. Plenty of envelope backs lying around.

          • Hugh Jars says:

            The only traffic study that the Mullet is interested in at the moment relates to her avoiding responsibility for being in an accident in which a motorcyclist died.

  2. One legged tap dancer says:

    There was a time when the exposure of council failings in the Townsville Bulletin resulted in a quick fix by the TCC shovel leaners (remember Olive “Pothole Sitter” Scott-Young?
    Not any more. If you want to get some action on local problems now, you have to air them in the Magpie blog.
    It also seems that the editor’s tendenacy to protect Jenny Hill and her council puppets extends to the hapless NQ Cowboys.
    In this morning online edition there are 4 stories regarding our NRL team:
    “(Cowboys) Stars love our laid-back lifestyle” (Really?)
    Öutside nise not affecting Cowboys”
    “Wright mindset: Cowboys back-ower declares he’s ready for action”
    “Cowboys bond to put steel in Cowboys right side”
    But no mention of the club’s 48-10 trashing by the Sharks last night.
    These days you hve to read the southern papers to find out what’s really happening with the Cowboys.
    Obviously, the local rag is in love with them and thinks they are doing just fine.
    Or could it have something to do with the fact that the Cowboys chairman used to be the Townsville Bulletin general manager?

    • The Magpie says:

      All of the above

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      So what you are saying One Legged is that people who want action or any type of change in this town should be donating to the Pies blog and giving the Bulletin the arse, I agree.

    • Little Rupert says:

      The Cowflops hit ‘double figures’ against the Sharks ! Appears the secret business case to get a new stadium and huge NAÏF loan funding centres around failure. I guess in all honesty they could never achieve it with their own abilities.

      • Frequent flyer says:

        It has all been a con job. Now we plebs have to pay for it. Ever wondered what the stadium, with very limited usage, and the Centre Of Medoricity is costing us ratepayers/taxpayes in wages and upkeep..
        Talk about copping a pineapple where it hurts.

        • The Magpie says:

          Basing a $300million+++ venture on the fortune’s of a rugby league football team was a brilliant idea. How’s that working out for you, folks? The point is, it would never have happened were it not for JT’s brilliance, and even if the team starts to fire up, the return on investment is, and always was, the greedy ignorant dream of one man who owned so many other brainless, spineless others in his pocket.

  3. Strand Ghost says:

    Happy Easter Pie
    Here is another one for your readers about our Local Council, I rang Council recently to report some potholes near our unit complex on the Strand, the young girl who answered was well mannered and listened to my call intently, (me) I want to report some potholes (her) how many? I say don’t know I didn’t count them, well how deep are they , don’t know didn’t measure them, well she said how wide they are, me I don’t know I didn’t have a tape measure with me, O’ ok she said I will lodge the complaint and gave me a reference number, Four weeks later they come, most of them were fixed but missed a couple, must of run out of bitumen? Our rates at work.

    • Critical says:

      Just had to dodge the pot holes at the intersection of Mabin and Garden Streets again. Potholes appeared during the rain some 7 plus weeks ago and have been reported to Council but everyone is still dodging them. Everyone in this Division knows there’s no point in phoning our local councillor Liam Mooney, if you can get him, as he’s a useless as tits on a bull as the saying goes.
      Love to know how Council prioritises maintenance works. Any ideas anyone?

      • Mundingbird says:

        add Brownhill,Water,Briarfield and Birt Sts to your list,pathetic performance from a broken council. Check out the Tree growing in the centre of Love Lane/Bowen Rd intersection.
        And they put out this Garbage City Plan/Vision ?
        They could not run a flag up a pole !

  4. Richard Perkins says:

    Happy Easter Sunday. Just read my first edition of the Magpie. Sure made me laugh and you are on the money. What about putting something in next week about the council running around checking what the locals have in their recycle bins. Might find loser Les Walker. The TCC stated Its a lift the lid check to assist the council in informing residents what can and can not be recycled. Also what about all the cigarette butts, weeds and other crap around the traffic lights the TCC never cleans up. The TCC needs a bloody big ass vacumn cleaner to get rid of the butts for a start. Pull the weeds out and suck them up too. TCC told me ages ago if the street sweeper can’t get it it stays. What bullshit. Place looks bad, neglected. Go well.

    • I’ll be plucked says:

      Hey Dick, I don’t believe you! First edition you’ve read my arse!! :)

      • The Magpie says:

        Interested to know why you say that, Plucker? The ‘Pie has noticed your tendency to want to jump in to comments on the flimsiest of excuses.

        • I’ll be plucked says:

          The way Dick writes, Pie. Been around The Ville a while with all the ‘knowledge’ they’re throwing around (e.g. comment re Messageblank, all the TCC refs). Mirrors what many commenters say about the place.

          C’mon Dick, own up! :)

    • Little Rupert says:

      The Council will never check my recycle bin because on the lid I taped a message saying ‘TCC Work Itinerary Inside’.

  5. The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

    Who would have thought that George Christensen could make anyone look stupid? But here we see it in living colour proving that the Member for Manila is several quantum’s smarter than the Mayoral Mullet. It must be Easter because this is a miracle – he is risen! And the Mullet is sunk.

  6. Mike Lewis says:

    Please don’t bother Liam Mooney with council shit, he is way too busy playing video games all day every day

  7. Neil O'Connor says:

    Anyone who gets a phone call returned from Liam Mooney is a rarity. It took months for him to ring me back and then all he did was argue about how great the council was. Pitty we didn’t get his sister to run like the Mullett wanted.

    • The Magpie says:

      To paraphrase Kerry Packer about Alan Bond: We only get one Mooney in our lifetime, and we’ve had ours.

  8. Frequent flyer says:

    Spot on Tapdancer. I just checked out the Daily Telegraph and they say “The Cowboys are officially in crisis after producing one of the worst 80 minutes in club history” and “the gulf in class between the competition heavyweights and the also-rans has never been greater, and there’s every chance the Cowboys are the worst of a bad bunch.” But after the Bully puts their spin on the game we’ll probably get some bullshit about green shoots. It’s pathetic.

    • Little Rupert says:

      And now they want to spend every cent they have chasing elderly players who have their focus set on a retirement package.

  9. Tropical says:

    Biden returning the US to decency. What joke showing how out of touch you and your sycophants are.
    Biden opened the US border with his open border policy he signed on day one in office.
    There are some 18,000 illegal immigrant kids locked up in overcrowded cages that Obama and Biden built. One was built to hold 80 but it has in excess of 700 held in it.
    Last week we also had footage of smugglers dropping two sisters aged five and three being dropped over a part of the border.
    Last week it was also revealed that 80% of woman and girls had been sexually assaulted on their way to the US.
    Yep Biden’s open border policy really is decent.

    • The Magpie says:


      Seethe, baby, seethe, but watch that throbbing vein in the temple, could be about to pop. It’s over, bubba, time to unclench the fists and stop the foam flecked ranting at the clouds.

      The selective floundering and flapping is like fish on a trawler deck, and is a delight to behold.

      Let’s see now …

      Biden opened the US border with his open border policy he signed on day one in office.

      Yes, he did. Something wrong with this act of decency? Sure, it can create problems, but that’s the US politics of inclusion and compassion, not exclusion and cruelty. That’s what the country, unlike Australia, was founded on, or is that a false doctrine, too, like the phoney ‘right to bear arms’ mantra of frightened little knucklke-draggers like you.

      There are some 18,000 illegal immigrant kids locked up in overcrowded cages that Obama and Biden built. One was built to hold 80 but it has in excess of 700 held in it.

      Well, they didn’t get there in the past three months, so why didn’t Trump, your hero, let them out?

      Last week we also had footage of smugglers dropping two sisters aged five and three being dropped over a part of the border.

      That’s a definite one for the #Sofuckingwhat file … Trump still around wouldn’t have happened? You have some serious issues, sweetie.

      Last week it was also revealed that 80% of woman and girls had been sexually assaulted on their way to the US.

      A handy stat, who did the counting? Anyway, to indulge in a little Trump-like callousness, they were on their way to the US? So what’s that got to do with Biden or America? Trump’s policies didn’t stop illegals coming, and there were such atrocities continually over the past four years.

      And finally … The Magpie offers the following, with the sincere hope that you don’t have apoplexy.(Actually, have to admit that’s a lie, a stroke would make an improvement to the contribution to society by a sub-human like you.

  10. Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

    Quite embarrassing that a professional wordsmith is unaware of the distinction between the words “domestic” and “family”, and furthermore is intellectually incurious or apathetic enough not to attempt to educate himself by consulting a dictionary.

    • The Magpie says:

      OK, we’ll try for a fourth … and final … time. Please explain where The ‘Pie has gone wrong, and your version of why the two words differ in the context of the Mayor’s sign. Mindless and pathetic attempts at lofty put-downs are typical ALP tactics of avoiding a simple question, so any failure to cogently give an explanation of your view will automatically put you on notice that you are seen as a vexatious litigant.

  11. Polythene Pam says:

    ‘Pie, the “Welcome to Townsville” sign at Hervey’s Range has been fixed (was up there today) – further proof this blog works.

    • The Magpie says:

      Well, thanks, but the real thanks goes to those who supply the information, The ‘Pie is just a willing publisher, because he has such excellent legal opinion available to advise him. Hope folks make use of the blog for this and other progressive reasons.

  12. Ralph says:

    Mal, I read the article in the Sunday Mail, written by Peter Gleeson, do you think he was having a dig at you. Ralph.

    • The Magpie says:

      Are you referring to Typo’s column about Qld health, today’s dateline. Read that, Ralph, but don’t see any connection at all. Is there another article in the paper itself? What have I missed, very curious to know if our self-confessed workplace bully has anything to say about me after the drubbing he got in court from the old bird.

      • The Magpie says:

        Send a link, Ralph.

        • Ralph says:

          Mal, I not sure how to send the link, the article is on page 66 in the opinion section, heading is, (Twits who need to be liked’) . Sorry Mate best I can do. Ralph.

          • The Magpie says:

            Ah, gotcha now, Ralph, your talking about the knobthrottling column about Dutton suing tweeters who upset him. First up, no, not The ‘Pie, never had a mortgage, never had kids (plural) to put through school. And certainly not in this time frame.

            But immensely amusing that Typo Gleeson of all people is advising others about the danger of being sued. Because this is the bloke that cost News Ltd the best part of a million dollars for planting a defamatory lie with columnist colleague Shari Markson at The Australian, which ended up as a nice little six figure earner for The Magpie and his brilliant legal team. It had been a vindictive attempt at get square with The ‘Pie who forced him to publicly apologise when Gleeson bullied my daughter because of something I said about News Ltd. (He’d never met her, was the editor of the Townsville Bulletin at the time, and had just searched her name on the internal staff list when she was working for News Ltd in Melbourne, and emailed a threat to her job.)

            But his end line in the column is a priceless example of Gleeson’s hypocrisy, when, talking a former reporter now facing legal action from Dutton he wrote:.

            “Maybe our old reporter friend might soon get a “bluey’’ – another term for a defamation writ – in the mail.
            Only this time, he’ll be on his own, with no protection from his employer.Losing your house by trying to be a smart ass isn’t clever, but as his former colleagues will attest, this bloke was never the sharpest tool in the box.”

            As will everybody who worked for you at the Townsville Bulletin will attest about you, you bogus bum, and it didn’t help your employer when you defamed me, did it, cobber?

            You are and always have been a proto-fascist dud, Peter, and deep down you know it.

    • George ST says:

      The unnamed Journalist is Tony Koch , a former courier mail journalist , now a twitter warrior and very prominent on Twitter , very active and always anti Murdock or anti Morrision
      he volunteered and helped ALP and Ali Fraser when she ran against Peter Dutton at the last election
      I am a distant relation and he is way over the top, most of his content is unreadable due to bias and hyperbole
      I wish he would give it a rest and get on with life
      I can understand he has alienated a lot of former colleagues and wouldntd be surprised if News Corp or former colleagues start legal proceedings

  13. Dave of Kelso says:

    The things you see when you have not got a camera.

    At Frosty Mango today. See a bloke with back pack and skateboard. He rides his skateboard out of the northern car park exit, and then our Einstein proceeds to, on the edge of the Bruce Highway, (such as it is), travel north by skateboard.

    I wish I had a photo, as ordinarily you would think no one could be so stupid.

    I hope he does not pass his numb-scull genes on to the next generation.

    • NQ Gal says:

      He was riding his board from Melbourne to Cairns to raise money for a skate park. Dave Daly interviewed him on Power 100 during the week.

      • Dave of Kelso says:


        No signage of any kind, no recognition from any one at Frosty Mango. And struth, what a dopey way to raise money, and for a skate park you say. Good grief! That is a high priority hey what? Now when this fool hits a pothole and falls in front of a car and is killed, think about the hapless and innocent driver.

        A better proposition would be for this twit to spend his daylight hours belting his head against a gum tree to raise money for his skate park. Better road safety and the media would know where to find him for an interview.

        And the gum tree would have no guilty feelings.

        “Stupidity has it’s own rewards, ultimately it is death.”

    • Little Rupert says:

      What sort of skateboard wheels can handle the punishment of the Bruce Goat Track????

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        Fair question. As a child, myself and two others would, after hours, sweep the driveway of the Golden Fleece garage at the bottom of our street to use our skateboards. Small stone in the tyre and it was arse over tit. I guess the tyres have changed in the last 50 years.

        Skateboards were for children then, and as adulthood came along, were put aside for adult pursuits and responsibilities. When I see an (?) adult with a skateboard I immediately see a ‘failed adult’.

        And for all you delicate precious pups out there, a failed adult is a young adult who has failed to accept the responsibilities and duties of an adult, frequently seen carrying skateboards and clinging to social media as a primary form of communication. Often at the age of 37 still living with their unfortunate parents.

        PS. I had the good manners to leave home at 15. The Judge gave me a choice so it was the Army for me.

    • Guy says:

      Yeah I laughed when I saw him too.

      I hope he’s still alive

  14. Jung Talent Time says:

    The rot is really beginning to set in at TCC. Things are being run at the executive level with very little direction or information coming down from on high outside of vague goals and parameters. Lower rung managers are saddled with twits, but given no power to do anything about them being stern words, for HR don’t back anyone up below the executive level. God forbid you blow a gasket and raise your voice in frustration, no, that would be bullying, so you’re really being pushed from above and below. This hastily pulled together restructure is a farce, no real change other than stacking the we exec level with more old boys. Projects- and valuable ones at that- are being snatched away from those who know their business and handed over to ambitious and charlatans who have no clue what they’re doing, for the slightest event of money or prestige. It’s disgusting. There are many at TCC who are good and valuable people, overlooked for the preening, the pecking and the bitching, and they’re leaving in droves. Lots of decent people have not had their contracts renewed of late, and I suspect there will be more of that to come.

    • The Magpie says:

      Gosh, The ‘Pie hopes he hasn’t upset anyone.

    • Plannit Townsville says:

      Honestly, unless something particularly outrageous is happening it’s just BAU. This kind of crap happens every time a new CEO comes onboard. Managers panic, some get replaced with special favourites flown in from wherever. And council keeps going down the gurgler. So unless you can specifically name and shame and still save yourself, gird your lions. Ensure you look busy. Keep your head down, but not low enough that someone can kick it.

  15. Mike Douglas says:

    The Courier Mail did a full page including 5 key steps on the Cowboys issues and how to fix the problem locals wont get to read because the Townsville Bulletins filter .
    1) NRL teams dont win Premierships without a spine . Cowboys must raid the open market urgently to fix their scrumbase problems , Ben Hampton is not a long term solution . 2) Cowboys must address their talent identification , development , roster management (Cowboys have announced Josh Mcguire is free to go ) and Jordan Mclean struggled with consistency . 3) igniting Taumalolo $1 mil a year , Coach Paytens objective . 4) Follow the leader – senior players have not set high standards . 5) Young Talent time , Coach Payten must technically educate the next wave of players . Clearly the Chairman / Ceo and the board are also under the microscope .

    • The Magpie says:

      For the uninitiated in NRL-speak: Just to be fair to people who … no matter their talent or lack of it … play a game that is the physical equivalent of being in a car smash every weekend, your reference to ‘spine’ is a positional comment on team structure on the field, not physical courage.

      The Magpie has never called professional athletes gutless (or spineless although sometimes brainless), even Stephen Bradbury put in the thousands of hours to be in a position to skate past fallen competitors.

      • Little Rupert says:

        Too true Magpie. And Bradbury did something else no other Aussie has achieved – actually qualify for an Olympic speed skating final. He was actually very good.

  16. Strand Ghost says:

    Hi Pie
    Just want to know if the Crime has abated here in Townsville, as I don’t seem to see too much these days in the Mainstream Media, my son told me yesterday than the mob who the police were looking for in relation to the bag stealing and drive off were living in Pimlico and were reported to police 3 times but nobody came to investigate.
    This has been all over social media but nothing on general media, why? are they trying to hide the real statistics, it might be no news is good news.

    • Little Rupert says:

      Crime is the same. Just that now everyone wears a mask, not just the baddies, so it’s hard to tell who is who.

      • The Magpie says:

        In a rare visit to the bank last week, The Magpie said to the masked teller ‘Well, one thing about COVID, it’s revealed the truth about whose robbing who.’

        Blank looks can be so off-putting.

  17. Prince Rollmop says:

    The FIFO Prince of TCC does not like being hassled on public holiday long weekends, so the Pie’s latest missive with commentary pertaining to broken underground pipes, damaged drains and sewerage spills will not be accepted easily. How dare the local residents question a Prince, ever. The Prince is particularly rattled by the constant attention being paid to his third world city infrastructure. ‘Out of sight, out of mind’ methodology is no longer working and the sweaty one is not impressed.

  18. The Magpie says:

    It is apparent that the fastest Police Rapid Response Team is the government’s PR department.

    After getting a roasting in the weekend Bulletin, this pops up with remarkable (for a government body) rapidity on Monday morning – a sleepy Easter holiday no less, usually a time when government and police media departments are bust sexually harrassing each other at the closest boozarium.

    ‘Explained’ ? That is EXACTLY what they don’t do. The story is written from a media release cobbled together from old story files, detailing what has been put in place to curb these little arseoles.


    Funny that it appears in an edition where the iditor has for once written a sensible piece about words not being enough. But that being the case, why weren’t stats sought before this meaningless puff piece was published.

  19. The Magpie says:

    Oh, for fuck’s sake, Courier, Government, give it a bloody rest, will you? We’re suffering faux panic fatigue. #Sofuckingwhat?

    • Premier Young says:

      Oh dear, oh no, oh my lord 4 cases in Queensland, how many millions live in Queensland? Please Miss Premier, shut the entire State down again, cripple some more businesses, fuck the economy up even worse please please save us. The people of Boulia, Birdsville, Cunnanurra Julia Creek and Jundah all need protection from the dreaded COVID. Please save us.

      Qld Government – you fucking morons.

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      A little harsh dear ‘Pie. It is a slow covid19 day, and a public holiday. Annie Puddleduck has taken the day off and given an underlings or two the opportunity to practice, in front of the media, their,
      Underlings need training too, you know.

  20. The Magpie says:

    A good start would be if they all took 10 paces forward.

    • Blue Blood says:

      Nice photo of the largest inbred family in history. A bloodline of buggerers, pedophiles, incest advocators, racist, murdering stuck up scum known to mankind. Two words for the Queen and her entourage of filth – f..k o.f

      • The Magpie says:

        We take it your not a fan.

      • NQ Gal says:

        Blue Blood – I take it that there aren’t any skeletons in the closet of your family’s lineage?

        • The Magpie says:

          That would only be interesting if Blue Blood’s family are blood-sucking burdens on the public purse, and therefore of a smidgen (only) of general interest.

        • Blue Blood says:

          We all have skeletons, but mine certainly aren’t to the extreme level that these parasites possess.

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        Keen to know your thoughts on the Westminster system of government, and the Australian version of it.

        • The Magpie says:

          Oh, Christ, no, no, no … look, Dave, send BB your email own address … think you’re the only one curious about this.

        • Blue Blood says:

          Dave of Kelsey Gramma, the Westminster system started out as a working system. But over the past century the political scum have worked it, spun it and manipulated it to the point that it advantages politicians and protects them from accountability while it screws over the average guy/gal taxpayer. It’s still better than the Royal scum. Now Dave, you go toddle off to your TV and monitor COVID cases while remain afraid of catching the scary out of control disease. Ha ha

          • Dave of Kelso says:

            Thanks BB,
            I feel better now.

          • Little Rupert says:

            Westminster system? Ours has evolved into a ‘democratic dictatorship’ thanks to the two party preferred system, ability for a sitting party to back stab their own PM, a lack of thought in policy making and legislations allowed to be passed retrospectively if it suits the Governments purpose (speaking mainly on the States for that last point). No matter who you vote for, the current system will always give an outcome of either LNP or Labour. I hope my comments don’t spark another ‘COVID outbreak’ forcing the Government to order us all to stay at home for the next two weeks …..

    • The Magpie says:

      If you look closely, even from this distance, you can see Charlie’s booze blooms on his cheek. And no Phil the Greek?

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        I have a little bit of time for Phil the Greek. Sense of humor. Two I recall, (but not having been there myself) was the anorexic eating dog joke, and when in Darwin on a visit, and knowing that, in Arnhem Land a week or so before, there had been a ritual spearing that went somewhat wrong (the poor bugger died I think) Phil, in full view of the world’s media asks the Aboriginal Representatives, “Are you people still spearing each other?”

      • Scientician79 says:

        Taken after Phil retired from public duties?

        • The Magpie says:

          Maybe, but if standing on a balcony waving at the suckers who’ve kept one in undeserved splendour all his life is an official duty, basically sums up the human tragedy of it all.

          • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

            With all the shit we in Townsville have to deal with, THIS is what consumes us? A soap opera on the other side of the world? Wake up and smell the tainted water, the council corruption and inaction, the crime, the general fuckeduppedness around us.

          • The Magpie says:

            This blog, unlike Gerald Ford, can chew gum and fart at the same time…. comments are welcome on any subject if it is informative, hopefully amusing or indignant, and pertinent to the news of the day. And FYI, Barely, there were about six comments on Phil The Greek, almost 30 associated with local failed promises and the pedestal tax (about half a dozen from yourself). You sound like a quotas man who wants restrictions on what subjects can be mentioned. Sorry, old son, but as the Froggies say, fromage rigide.

  21. Safety First says:

    The best thing any resident can do when it comes to an unsafe issue such as a crumbling footpath, trees overhanging stop signs, missing/dislodged manhole covers or anything else owned by Council that is unsafe is to photograph it/record it, put it in an email and report it along with a message that advises the Council that ‘now you have reported the danger, the risk now belongs to Council and if they do not fix it they will be liable in a court of law’. That will stick a rocket up their ass. Keep electronic copies and do not trust phone calls. If you phone them to report it, follow up with an email and copy in the Mayor and CEO.

    Under WHS legislation if the risk has been identified, Council now own it. If something goes wrong they are the accountable executives. You need to play the game smartly people. There is more than one way to skin a cat and to make these arseholes accountable and motivated to repair things.
    Let’s see how Mayor Doona and Prince Ralston enjoy that.

    • The Magpie says:

      Ummm, well yes, that is precisely why The Magpie publishes what he does and keeps encouraging photographs of the problems. Once it shown to be known, it’s the council’s baby.

    • TheOtherGuy says:

      The WHS act applies to workers, not to a pedestrian on a footpath. That is what the tort of negligence is for. But for over 200 years local authorities had what was known as highway immunity, which while overturned in the High Court in early 2000’s, still has some limitations against claims. Also, a claim in negligence will not see individuals liable such as the Mayor or CEO. Only a serious safety breach by their workforce could possible be actioned against an individual. Even that would be remote for the Mayor – that’s why they have a CEO. And prosecutions against the CEO would be difficult – it is to the criminal standard of beyond reasonable doubt. Council owns the risk whether it has been identified or not. That’s why they have to regularly review risk assessments.

      • The Magpie says:

        The’Pie’s point is that this sort of negligence, while a clear breach of basic responsibilities, could also be very expensive if someone is injured or killed. Sure they have insurance (probably courtesy of the gouging insurance arm of the LGAQ) but claims will always see poremiums increase. That is the ultimate trickle down effect … on ratepayers.
        As for individuals, the only proper punishment available is at the ballot box, or a vote of nom confidence in council … and like that’s gunna happen.

        • TheOtherGuy says:

          I completely agree with you ‘Pie. My point was the WHS Act does not apply to these maintenance issues nor would the Mayor or CEO be accountable if something went wrong. Because a council no longer has highway immunity, the evidence being collected on this blog, including photos, would go to show that the council did not act on the risk for extended periods and had no excuse. Any photos are extremely useful in showing the severity of the risk. Having a photo showing an anniversary party in a huge pothole is priceless. Perhaps a large payout because of council negligence may shift the voting allegiance of the Townsville unwashed that vote for these dullards.

          • The Magpie says:


            A couple of points. Shifting the voting alliance is not much point if there is no viable candidate of vision, strong communication skills with everyday people and business acumen who puts together a team and gives us something to vote for. A bloke like Sam Cox had his heart in the right place, but his slap dash bid was woefully inadequate and many saw that he was trying to again become a career politician who would not bring the necessary skill set to the job. His doomed bid has had the added downside of adding to the myth of Jenny Hill’s invincibility … the truth is, there hasn’t been a believable viable alternative, and Jenny’s got home again on a better the devil you know ticket. Until someone decides they love Townsville enough … and the town his given them enough that its time for payback … that myth will continue.

            Oh and the other point? This mayor and this CEO will never willingly be accountable for ANYTHING.

    • Alahazbin says:

      No! Safety First. That doesn’t work. Out here at Div 10 I just ring Suzy Batkovic and the problem fixed. No politics involved. Just a councillor doing her role.
      But as an ex pro basketballer she is probably pretty skilled at raising her arm in agreement with the mullet.

  22. Terry Who says:

    Our bully does it again. A story in the online edition on Monday night.

    My comments to the paper, I wonder how long they will last.

    Doesn’t anyone proof read your articles.
    Headline: “A child is being treated after being hit by a scooter at a busy Townsville intersection”

    Storyline: “collision between a car and a scooter ridden by a child”

    Obviously not.

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      A Townsville crime web site reports that the injured child is a 12yo boy who was part of a larger group of about 20 who were smashing up McDonald’s at the Willows at about 5.30PM yesterday. The little snot was injured when the group disbursed, fleeing in every direction.

      • Mugwump says:

        Yesterday afternoon I went to Willows for some groceries, when I got there, their was a group of indigenous children hanging around the entrance. Their was security guards, they where telling the kids to move on. Overheard them saying “You have been told several times today to vacate the premises”. In reply along with the profanity these kids hurld insults and taunted the guards. I counted four of them. When I left, I noticed the same kids running on the road taunting traffic around riverway /RRR intersection. I later read a child was taken to hospital after car v scooter just after where these kids where taunting traffic and time of incident co-incides. These kids run the roost and do whatever they want. They have NO respect for authority and no understanding of mortality.

        • Dave of Kelso says:

          Yes, and you have to wonder what sort of parents they will make and the values, or lack thereof, they will inculcate into their children.

        • Ducks Nuts says:

          If these kids are out on the roads at all hours of day and night, imagine what their home life is like. This isn’t as simple as send the little bastards home or locking them up. Their parents aren’t capable of being parents. These kids have no role models. No rules at home. No functional family unit. This is a generational problem that’s getting worse.
          They are running riot because they have nothing else to do, nowhere better to be and no one to show them a better way of life.

          • The Magpie says:

            The parents are a generation stealing from themselves – Stolen Generation Mark 2. But we’re not allowed to get indignant about it, and the aboriginal industry is in a bind, because they can hardly sue themselves for lots of lovely public lolly for this on-going disaster.

          • The Magpie says:


          • Dave of Kelso says:

            Yes ND,
            you are correct but what is your suggested solution?

            I put mine to the recent visiting Parliamentary Committee by way of a formal submission and appearing before the Committee as a witness. My submission is on their website as is the word for word transcript of the entire evening. I am sure you and others will recognize me when you read the Hansard record.

            I stood up in a formal public forum to state my case and make recommendations for the long term future.

            And so DN, if you will indulge me a little:

            Where were you Plucker, you vacuous piece of excrement, while all this was going on? Making a useful and public contribution that will be considered and available for all to read, or insulting all and sundry from behind you cowards keyboard.

            Thanks DN, I got a little carried away then, but it was worth it, Magpie permitting.

          • Ducks Nuts says:

            Thanks Dave. Glad you feel better. I have worked for a number of organisations that help people of unfortunate circumstances. Some of whom are the parents of these kids. Some are the kids. I don’t have the solution. I never said I did. But I know that doing what you’ve always done and expecting a different result, isn’t going to work. Jail doesn’t work. And guilt driven handouts don’t work. People need meaning and purpose in their life and it’s pretty obvious they don’t have this.

            I didn’t provide a submission. However I’m sure your submission was driven by concern for these people and their communities, and provided a well thought out means to solve the generational issues they face.

          • Dave of Kelso says:

            Towards the end of my working life I was a part time (more on than off and on call always damn it) member of a community organisation providing advice in my area of expertise. I think I learned more from the other team members than I ever contributed.

            Upon retiring I was flabbergasted by the number of indigenous children on the streets during school hours. Part of the problem is truancy.

            I’ll cut it short. Every child from prep to grade 12 must attend school every day. They must arrive at school rested, fed, and resourced to learn. When this fails to happen there must be swift intervention with the parents. Range of options too detailed for this entry. This will cost money and the bloody bean counters and their KPIs need to be put in a ditch. This active truancy program will take a couple of generations to show a result. By keeping these children in an active school community and with active involvement (both encouraging or punitive) of the parents the detrimental effects of a toxic home environment may be countered. As one witness before the Committee stated, there is no silver bullet, but there is the silver shotgun shell, with many silver pellets all working together. Active deliberate action on truancy and dealing with recalcitrant parents is, in my view one of those silver shotgun pellets.

  23. The Magpie says:

    It is official: 96.8% of Australians are on Jabseeker.

  24. The Magpie says:


    A club spokesman said”In the interests of a level playing field, we believe our boys should be allowed to play with the girls, it would make for some exciting games. And the tackling would be good practice for the post-game celebrations.’

    • Dave of Kelso says:


      Therefore a name change to:
      North Queensland Cowpersons.

    • Little Rupert says:

      Quote : “ we believe our boys should be allowed to play with the girls, it would make for some exciting games.” They tried this in Parliament and it hasn’t gone down too well.

  25. The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

    From the Astonisher:
    “A Queensland Courts representative confirmed that the Show Society secretary-manager Chris Condon is set to face the Townsville Magistrates Court on Tuesday charged with two counts of unlawful possession of a weapon as well as authority required to possess explosives.”


    • The Magpie says:

      Condon has successfully defended QPS charges on eight or nine occasions, but these are AFP charges, so it will be interesting to see if the Feds are a bit more diligent than their state counterparts.

  26. Safety First says:

    I’m wondering if the Council workers disappearing down that drain via the ladder have a new hiding place? Everyone takes the piss out of them for leaning on shovels, so now they go underground where it is out of sight, out of mind?

    • The Magpie says:

      A merry jest, perhaps, but The ‘Pie has always been loath to make those sort of jokes – not on PC ‘woke’ grounds – as if – but on the simple basis that leaning in shovels or not, those blokes are out there in the sun or the rain, and I am not. And they don’t make up the numbers rules, one can actually imagine they are as cheesed off as anybody, and would rather be doing something rather than nothing, even if they get paid the same for either.

  27. Just Say'n says:

    I see Crisafulli got stuck into Miles in Parliament today saying he lacks the “intellectual capacity” to be an “attack dog” Hit the nail on the head in my opinion. Miles is a churl. And to make matters worse, his churlish friends made him Deputy Premier. Give me a break. How people continue to votes for clowns like this is beyond me.

    • Prince Rollmop says:

      I can’t believe NMD hasn’t responded yet! A true hater of ‘the kid’, just mentioning his name is enough to get NMD all worked up. Perhaps NMD has COVID or carked it from a heart attack??

      • No More Dredging says:

        Look, Dickhead, if you really want some hate, make up your own. You are the self-appointed, self-congratulating expert.

  28. Critical says:

    Seeing this article in today’s ABC News made me wonder “What happened to Mullet’s much shouted about Doubletree Hotel by Hilton to be built next to the stadium.


    And for those who have forgotten this project, one of many projects praised by Mullet, that seem to have dropped off our radar, here’s a link to refresh your memory.


    • The Magpie says:

      Do you mean to tell us that the Bulletin isn’t asking questions about this? Well, we clutch our pearls in disbelief!!

      And humblebrag humblebrag, it is as was predicted by the ‘Pie years ago, just a nice little consultancy/spotters’ fee earner for some Labor insiders. And if it was/is of the importance that Mayor Mullet kept braying about, why haven’t we heard why nothing has happened? Not even a spurious COVID excuse… which doesn’t stand up too well in virtually COVID-free Townsville.

      • Little Rupert says:

        The Cowflops would be a great attraction to the Double-D hotel project. Especially now they have their Centre of Satisfactory (hopefully, satisfactory one day) Performance.

    • George ST says:

      I posted before the election that the project was dead and buried then . It was a nice sounding progressive political project at the time , But Jackie Tradd was telling your Townsville builder developer , now Newstead based over lunch at Tattsersalls there was no money for it

  29. salty dog says:

    Now this is something you might know Magpie: is the Boy Soprano putting his hand up for Bowman, or is that on hold for Peter Dutton?

    • The Magpie says:

      Boy Soprano?

      • salty dog says:

        Well, you know, that guy who was a local MP before defecting to the Gold Coast.

        • The Magpie says:

          Oh. First tme The ‘Piwe has heard that nick name. And the first time heard that rumour. Unlikely probability.

          • salty dog says:

            Probably right, Magpie, but going federal would be more fun for an ambitious young bloke like this than becoming another Lawrence Springborg. Let’s wait and see.

    • George ST says:

      Its a bible belt , happy cappers on every corner
      Amanda stoker , senator , assistant minister for women and happy clapper to take it
      a move from the senate to the lower house , with ambitions for more ministerial action

  30. Dirty Sanchez says:

    I’ve been trying to sift through some of Mayor Hill’s shit, so to speak., and I’m still confused. So, in one hand TCC produce a 5 year vision statement (albeit a few pages of glossy wank words filled with empty detail), alluding to Townsville being a place to invest in and come to for holidays, yet on the other hand she blames the army base, construction and ‘too many people’ for the cities sewerage woes. So does she want defecators in Townsville or not? How can the city grow if people aren’t allowed to drop a Richard the third into the shitters?

    What will the Doona Queen do next – introduce a fast food takeaway surcharge to force restaurants to cut back on cooking food with fatty content in an attempt to reduce the size and frequency of people’s stools? Perhaps she will place plastic scales in each toilet and make you drop your logs onto the scales where you are charged a levy based on a per gram basis for your shit being deposited?

    • The Magpie says:

      Hey, don’t tempt fate.

    • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

      Stupid idea putting scales near the toilets.

      You put the entire pedestal on the scale, allow for your weight, and presto, you have “shit hot” weight which can be sent via the Ergon smart meters directly to PooHQ!

      Instant money – we could even have a receipt machine in your crapper that prints you a “You shat out a 300g turd, we have debited $3 from your account”.


      • The Magpie says:

        Like that idea, but there is a far more serious, fair and do-able answer to the hotel/motel owners complaints. Certainly they should be charged for sewage into the system, but in this day and age where, as the TCC daily proves, machines are much smarter than men, so link the pedestal tax to bookings at the POS, and a couple of keystrokes annually, 6-monthly or whatever, there is the tax. No one has been hit for undelivered shit. The ‘Pie may be wrong (what!?! you cry, tell us it ain’t so, Joe!) but isn’t there a headworks charge when new places are built that covers the basic infrastructure hook-up. So it is grossly unfair that unused pedestals still attract a tax. Too complicated? If any bureaucrat or councillor uses that as an excuse, they have no business being anywhere near public money. Besides, just a quick read (8 hours minimum)of the TCC Development Approval process will show the hypocrisy in that.

        • Old Tradesman says:

          Why have Airbnb’s got got dispensation of this tax?

        • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

          Good thoughts Magpie. Systems could be made to do that but moteliers could decide to fudge the registrations. In all seriousness there is no reason that wastewater from commercial operations can’t be metered as it departs. Just like potable water is metered on its arrival. And users charged for what they contribute.

          Yes, also headworks charges, now called “Infrastructure Contributions” are supposed to cover the costs of trunk infrastructure upgrades and major failures. Rates should cover the cost of maintenance and minor repair. Unfortunately over the years so many developers (you point and I’ll whistle) have gotten away with paying minor or no contributions that the system is out of balance and broke.

      • Hugh Jars says:

        Will it be like the cbd parking? First 15 minutes on the shitter are free?

  31. One legged tap dancer says:

    My mail is that the Hilton Double Tree was shelved long ago.
    But what happened to the other tourist hotel/ferry terminal that Honeycombe was supposed to be building on Ross Creek? Did they wake up that it would be directly downwind from the Port, and realise that tourists might not like breathing in contaminated dust, or the stench of cowshit from the live export ships?
    And where is that battery factory Jenny Hill has been pushing uphill for years?
    Come to think of it, what happened to those two “solar trees” Jenny said were being installed along Ross Creek between the Cowboys stadium and the CBD at a cost of $8 million? Yes, $8 million – reminds one of the eye-watering cost of Jenny’s $4 million tiny park on Castle Hill.
    Maybe the Townsville Bulletin could print a list of all of Jenny’s projects that never happened.
    They could call it “”Jenny’s Top 10 disappearing acts”

    • NQ Gal says:

      Everything involving Pure Projects can be added to your list.

      • The Magpie says:

        It is difficult to trust an organisation of southern grifters that omits the crucial middle word from its title.

        • NQ Gal says:

          Sorry – Pure Bullshit Projects.
          I wonder how much that consultancy cost the Townsville ratepayers.

          • The Magpie says:

            See Don Morris is still writing letters to the Astonisher from a local address. If it is the Pure Projects DM, maybe he’s fallen in love with us.

    • Old Tradesman says:

      Very true OLTD, as meatloaf would say, ” You took the words right out of my mouth”.

    • The Wulguru Wonder says:

      Don’t forget to add the Strand lagoon to this list….

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        Was there a Wave Pool in the mix some years ago?

        • The Magpie says:

          Not really … that was a brain fart from Memory Blank Walker which no one wanted to touch with a barge pole.

          Interesting that he wanted to endorse a decade old suggestion that originally came from … ta da … The Magpie.

          • Critical says:

            Does anyone know what happened to the expensive pool slides that were to be installed at the Rock Pool years ago or are they gathering dust in some council shed.

          • The Magpie says:

            Well, that settles it. The ‘Pie will compile a list from all those matters mentioned in comments today and invite any other forgotten thought farts we might have missed. Will publish when there’s time to put it together later tonight or tomorrow.

          • Terry Smith says:

            In your column this week you asked for photos of things that you would use the power of the media to fix. Please find attached a problem that we haven’t been able to fix for a long time. Hopefully you have better luck.

          • Little Rupert says:

            Can we ask North Korea to return our floating hotel?

          • The Magpie says:

            Great idea, perfect quarantine facility.

          • Dave of Kelso says:

            Ah,,,,, the short memory of the electorate.

            Do tell, what other long forgotten Magpie suggestions for this town, are gathering dust in the archives?

          • The Magpie says:

            Disbanding TEL.

          • Alahazbin says:

            Cries, That idea was scrapped by the Tyrell Council. I’m pretty sure they were brought out of storage and used up at Northern Beaches water park.

          • The Magpie says:

            Yep, thinks that’s right.

          • Dave of Kelso says:

            In a time long long ago, this town had two water slides. One vicinity of the mini golf near the show grounds I think, and the other on land now consumed by the Willows Shopping Centre.

            But the town has moved forward since those citizen centric days, hasn’t it?

      • Old Tradesman says:

        Why is there no water in the pipeline, maybe NMD might be able to help us. Where is the State government GST free $195m grant gone. As for The Lagoon it was never going to happen in that area as his Radiance knew that it was full of sea grass to help fatten the local dugongs, the greenies would have soon put an end to that little caper, it is also interesting as to why the local tree huggers are not up in arms about protecting our water source at the proposed battery factory, but then again our mayor has said all is good in that area.

    • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

      Too many to list.

      Don’t forget the Aitkenvale Activation Zone under the town plan which was going to turn that area into A thriving metropolitan hub full of happy latte sipping yuppies living in swish 6 storey apartments, but instead turned that lovely old suburb into a slum full of dilapidated rentals, six pack flats and Department of Housing hotboxes.

      Someone made a lot of money on that deal, just not the residents, according to friends who still live there. Property values have plummeted.

  32. The Wulguru Wonder says:

    Add the Castle Hill zip line to the list of TCC promised brain fart projects….and I don’t think the giant games console has been installed in Flinders Square either….

    • The Magpie says:

      Thank Christ.

    • NQ Gal says:

      Was the zip line thought bubble before or after the cable car?

    • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

      To be fair, the giant games console was installed, promptly failed and got taped up. I’m not even sure if it is still there hidden behind a web of hazard mesh. There are so many random mounds of mesh it’s hard to remember. Perhaps we could install it in the disaster centre to drive the real time disaster dashboard which has also been a woeful failure at giving real time updates on anything much.

      • The Magpie says:

        ‘To be fair’???? Installation of an expensive ill-thought through piece of junk that promptly fails is WORSE than installing something workable.

        • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

          To be fair – it became for a while at least sort of a monument to the wankery of bad ideas. This was one which got through every gate and was installed. Still a stupid bloody idea.

          • A says:

            Dont forget the misting station on top of castle hill. Or the hotel where Tims surf and turf once stood. I believe the Bulletin ran a picture of the mayor with a golden shovel on this one. Believe that was canned due to soil quality being so poor and salty. So we build a $300+ million dollar footy stadium up the road on equally probably as equally poor and probably contaminated land.

  33. Frequent flyer says:

    Add to the list the new Entertainment and Convention Centre planned next door to the Cowboys white elephant, sorry, stadium. We know it got shelved to make way for the Cowboys Centre of Medoricity, but didn’t Jenny Hill promise one during the last election campaign?

  34. Hugh Jars says:

    Don’t forget to add the Pantsdown Eco Industrial Park to the list of distractions thought up by Jenny the Jenius.

    • Mike Douglas says:

      Hugh Jars , yes Landsdown , owned by ratepayers ? , but no information on plans , environmental
      sign off just a one page colour brochure which our Mayor / Deputy Mayor think will secure $50 mil from the Feds . Wild Scenes at McDonald’s Willows with the store terrorised by 12 youths in Aaron Harpers electorate forced into lockdown and parents in the car park with children locking their doors in fear . Aarons social media rates his flu shot and Australia – kiwi travel bubble above the people he is supposed to protect .

  35. Hee haw says:

    Don’t forget the $35 million Airstrip 400 kms away and the 1000 fifo jobs that were promised as a result.

  36. Sir Rabbittborough says:

    Based on the previous use of federal resources to achieve commercial ends for donors , and allowing the quarantine station land in a cyclone zone on the edge of a world heritage marine park and conservation park to fall into the hands of donors , my money is on Honeycombes ending up with the show society land. Some developer will , and it has to be a donor or previous donor. Its just the way it us. Regardless of whether the charges against Condon are legit. The media should jump straight to the end game. You know its coming.

    • The Magpie says:

      We’re getting a bit ahead of ourselves here. For starters, Chris Condon is the show grounds manager, and all decisions are made by the controlling board to which he reports – as he himself pointed out recently in making a reply to this blog. Whether he remains in that position is irrelevant to your theory. But other Nest readers have also pointed out that selling off the show land will be no simple task, and it will be a political minefield fraught with unpleasant surprises if one doesn’t tread carefully. It will probably require a separate act of parliament, like the casino land.

      The ‘Pie has also been told that the caravan park area of the grounds has always been earmarked for housing. No idea if that’s correct, but how would we know any bloody thing about how all this works in this town with this council and with this government?

      • Little Rupert says:

        If Showgrounds ever gets residentially developed, they better work out a way to dramatically improve the traffic flow.

        • cobalos says:

          did someone say ‘monorail’

          • The Magpie says:

            Ya’know, this is getting to be an ideal list that could be done in rap … a sort of local version of ‘We Didn’t Start The Fire.’ Anyone musically minded out there to put together some lyrics?

  37. Prince Rollmop says:

    What would be good is not only a list of failed/promised/touted/ “projects”, but a list of the dates they were advertised/released in the media or on the Council website. Then you could work out if any or all of them are a form of pork barrelling, but without the pork! In other words, were they lies designed to capture votes, and then delivery of the projects/promises were never delivered once Frau Mullet retained her Mayoral robes on voting day.

    Perhaps NMD in his/her/binary/it’s spare time in between kissing Councillors puckered sphincters and delivering brown paper bags could help Mr Magpie put something together?

    • The Magpie says:

      Or perhaps YOU could, Rollmop, after all, it’s you’re suggestion, and as generous as it is to offer many hours unpaid work to someone else, we wouldn’t want to deprive you of the satisfying pleasure you will derive from this worthy exercise. Looking forward to receiving your detailed list in …oh, say … middle of next week?

      • Prince Rollmop says:

        Sorry Pie, not my blog, otherwise I would happily undertake the task in between flying to Townsville, Consulting, attending Board meetings, hobnobbing with royalty and counting my bank balance. I don’t want to step on your toes, I respect you too much.
        Yours humbly
        Prince of TCC

        • The Magpie says:

          Indeed it’s not your blog, and therefore not your place to be setting specific tasks for another reader that you are unwilling to undertake yourself. You seem to be suggesting you’re the only busy one around here – stop throttling the old knob, matey..

          And boy oh boy, are you a brave little princeling, owning up – on this blog of all places – that you are an out-of-town blow in consultant! Brave but foolish fellow.

          • Prince Rollmop says:

            Brave, yes. Foolish, perhaps. Honest and transparent, absolutely. Besides, I am a Prince, and Princes don’t take orders, they set the orders for others to perform.

          • The Magpie says:

            ‘Honest and transparent’? really? Then what are you doing in Townsville, this is no place for you. But we’ll buy the ‘foolish’. Your self-appointment reminds one of Prince Leonard of Hutt.

            And BTW, ever read what happens to royalty when they get a bit uppity? To use Our Jen’s word, they get ‘cut’.

          • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

            I was going to point out the irony of this, but I suppose that the Pie, as owner of the blog, is able to attempt to delegate tasks that he’s unwilling to do himself, such as look up the definition of two words to confirm that they’re not synonyms.

          • The Magpie says:

            Indeed he is, and we’ll start with you, Steve. Please check out what difference, if any, there is between ‘domestic violence’ and ‘family violence’. Only report back on this when you have something definitive to report on a simple task, and address ONLY the outcome of facts, not supposition, delusion or mischievousness. No other correspondence will be entered into or published.

            But you can’t, though, can you, m’dear.

          • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

            At the risk of being howled down. Magpie, you do know he is PRETENDING to be the TCC CEO don’t you?

            Obviously not the real one as the words are all joined up and in sorta sentences.

  38. NQ Gal says:

    While trying to find information on the Cultural Precinct (another project that hasn’t gone anywhere), I came across the current TEL begging bowl of projects they want the state and/or feds to fund.


    • The Magpie says:

      Having read that with an evefr-ready pinch of salt, two things stand out for the ‘Pie. This is glossy brochure stuff, but in fact, fair enough, because that is what it’s meant to be, unlike the insulting and pompous offering from the mayor on Lansdown, which require a professional level of detail to be taken seriously. .And the other thing is that the TEL document makes what appears to be realistic and believable assessments of the job creation for all these projects. The maths in this department seems to be carefully considered, which is a refreshing change from our scatterbrained glory seeker in Walker Street,

  39. Little Rupert says:

    What is the difference between Domestic Violence and Family Violence – https://www.missionaustralia.com.au/what-we-do/children-youth-families-and-communities/domestic-family-violence

  40. I’ll be plucked says:


    Oh Stevie boy (or girl), the laundromat, the laundromat is calling. From Belgian Gardens across the asphalt to dear North Ward………round and round you go, where you stop, nobody knows!

  41. The Magpie says:

    Iditor should tell sub ‘English his no good.’

    • Little Rupert says:

      Damn that bad engish. On another note, how is Morgan not playing for the Cowflops ‘news’ considering he hasn’t played for what seems like an eternity anyway?

  42. Mike Douglas says:

    Based on some of the comments on this blog T.C.C. has also failed on being a mentally healthy City . We also have proof Messagebank Walker still has memory loss as in today’s Astonisher he claims that he has been a “ champion “ for investment in Townsville during his days at Council . The bloke couldn’t even fix the drainage problems that caused “ poo gate “ in his old division .

    • The Magpie says:

      The last two are the most damning of all … the one called ‘Principle’ is a nothing but a pointless and wasteful fly-through wank – poorly done by any standards, to the financial benefit of no one locally, costing a small fortune by ratepayers standards and the ultimate shiniest trinket in the ‘beads and blankets for the natives’ policy that is the hallmark of Jenny Hill’s disastrous stewardship. But the second one is a carnival of experts from some years ago, featuring the shining insincerity of blow-in grifters and flawed leadership figures hanging themselves with their empty, populist promises, virtually none of which have come to fruition.

  43. Schindler’s LIST says:

    C’mon feathered bird, where is the ‘list’ you were going to put together? We eagerly look forward to viewing how many promises worth probable billions have been broken by the bogan Mayor and her acolytes. Stupid from Belgian Gardens and No More Fledgling are eagerly waiting to volley some shots back at you on behalf of their beloved Labor comrades.

  44. The Magpie says:

    • True Crime Australia
    • Police & Courts QLD
    Police trace owner of penis, testicle found in Brisbane man’s freezer
    The man allegedly at the centre of a bizarre backpacker hostel castration in Brisbane last year is facing new charges, with police now believing they know the source of a penis and testicle found in his freezer.
    Police believe they have solved the mystery of whose penis and testicle were found in a Brisbane man’s freezer.
    Ryan Andrew King, 28, of West End, has been charged for the second time with grievous bodily harm with intent to maim in relation to a second man who allegedly had his genitalia cut off.
    Detective in charge of the investigation, Inspector Dick Tracer said his investigations showed the victim to be still alive and appealed for help in locating him.
    ‘He has apparently been able to appear to live a normal active life, but is proving to be elusive,’ Inspector Tracer said. ‘His current activities show he is still suffering subconscious trauma from the vicious attack.’
    He released a photo to the public to help in the search.

    • Girl Power says:

      All of the clitorati, team girl power, lesbians, binary folk and NMD are jumping up and down with excitement at the thought of a man losing his penis! As for the photo, you have the wrong person because that particular person was born without and frank and beans in the first place.

    • Little Rupert says:

      Wrong pic Pie. I believe that fellow has both but they are just very small.

  45. The Untouchables says:

    So the fuckwits in Can’tberra have accepted that, like the rest of society, they
    too are now (supposedly) accountable for acts of sexual harassment. Umm, seriously? Politicians and Judges were previously exempt, and legislation will be now be changed, finally in 2021? How the fuck can a specific group of people like the aforementioned assholes have not been subject to the same laws of the land that the rest of us are bound by? Are they also allowed to commit murder? Are they exempt from paying tax? This is actually preposterous. Fucking unbelievable.

  46. The Magpie says:

    Candid camera.

    A favourite Nest reader from Belgian Gardens caught off guard when snapped on the way to the local laundromat.

  47. No More Dredging says:

    Down at the harbour today I noted the arrival of the Oldendorff ship that brought the plastic Haughton pipeline Stage1 sections up from Adelaide way back then. And wondered if Stage2 will use the same pipe material. Found this story from Nov2020 (which doesn’t answer the q but does address some of the Old Tradesman queries raised earlier):

    “The detailed design of the second stage of the water pipeline is set to begin with the tender awarded at Townsville City Council’s Full Council meeting last week.
    The tender was awarded to GHD for $6.1 million and will include the detailed design of the project, and technical support throughout the project advising on the manufacturing and supply of materials.
    “Council intends to break the delivery of stage 2 of the pipeline into small, manageable work packages to ensure that local contractors have an opportunity to share the work during the construction phase.”
    Townsville Water and Waste Committee chairperson Russ Cook said “The work to extend stage 1 of the pipeline under the Haughton is ongoing and making good progress and we’re looking to be ready to commence construction of stage 2 late next year,” Cr Cook said.”

    • The Magpie says:

      And just while we’re at this bend in the river, we can add a crucial aspect of this as another opportunity gone begging on the Mullet List of Failures.

      For clearly political deal-making reasons, she refused to reasonably insist that the pipes be made here, from materials already available here, so more than 50 jobs would be created with the likelihood of an on-going concern beyond the pipeline. Politics trumps locals every time for this busted arse mayoral flop.

  48. The Magpie says:

    From the file “Why Reading The TownsvIlle Bulletin Is A Waste Of Time’ case# 3897 (for 2021).

    Today, we are regaled with this rock-solid, take-it-to-the-bank, dinky-di, honest to God RUMOUR …

    Now first things first … this has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with Memory Blank Walker, it just seems that the Bulletin has taken it upon itself to start the rehabilitation of this unsavoury barroom brawler. (Record 0-0).

    In fact, it is reasonable to say that this is the only reason this – a perennial favourite piece of speculative bullshit filler at The Astonisher – was run at all.

    Because after this qualified start …

    … we wade through a lot of meaningless verbiage until right at the end of the story, we get this …

    In other words, Ms Charles has written an entire non-story. Forget a Walkley, dearie, you’re surely headed for a Miles Franklin.

    • No More Dredging says:

      ” . . . .feasibility of new locations”. Looks like an opening for Aldi at Lansdown.

    • Grumpy says:

      …or the Hugo Award…

    • Tom Darlington says:

      Aldi hire some of best business brains in the world.

      They constantly scan all the possible sites throughout the world.

      To seek the advice of our local wankers beggars belief.

      • Little Rupert says:

        Next rumour will be Mullet is in negations with Harrods to open a new upscale store in Kelso.

        • Dave of Kelso says:

          It is just what the knuckle dragging housing commission set need to raise their shopping expectations.

          And the dress code will be better than the new Rasmussen shops.

          FFS! No bear feet? Better to expect that the feet have been washed in the last 10 years.

          I say this sincerely, once the Upper Ross was a wonderful community, out of town a bit, AND THEN CAME THE BLOODY STATE GOVERNMENT and inserted into our happy community social housing, bloody streets at a time where these (fucked if I know what to call them.) new residents had, and still do have new residents to rob.

          Now, shall we refresh our drinks and talk about aboriginal parental responsibility in the wonderful STATE GOVERNMENT SOCIAL HOUSING PRECINCTS .

          To the bleeding hearts, I say this (which you pious pettles will disregard ) It is the behaviour of ABORIGINAL children and the failure of ABORIGINAL parents that is at the heart of the current ABORIGINAL youth crime wave.

          And Grace Smallwood may quack on for her own self aggrandizement, but where is ABORIGINAL leadership?

          And who are these aborigines? In America, if you do not have one full flood grandparent you cannot call your self Indian, or claim welfare benefits. About time this was applied here to rid the community of all of these ARTIFICAL ABORIGINES.

  49. The Magpie says:

    Prince Phillip, the Duke of Edinburgh has just died. He was 99.

    • Achilles says:

      Say goodbye to the palace Wedgwood !!!!!!

    • Prince of darkness says:

      No loss. At least the taxpayers will be a few crumbs better off now. He made a deal with the Devil and in return lived a long life. Enjoy your journey across the Styx River old man….

    • NQ Gal says:

      Is this a literal stop the presses moment at Flinders St?

      • The Magpie says:

        Depends what time they put the weekend paper to bed. Much of it is already printed earlier in the week, but the news section is the final part, so it might be in time for some god-awful, dishonest gushing. The on line site had something about an hour after the Duke news broke. These things are already pre-written, so no sweat.

  50. Achilles says:

    Don’t be sexist, chicks and sheala’s don’t like that.

  51. The Rat Patrol says:

    Coming to your fair city shortly. We can spot fakes, wasters, grifters and frauds quickly and efficiently.

    We can help you identify and run-off the above, to the benefit of your city under siege. We’re hoping there’s plenty of work there – we start with our standard team of four and can add depending on how big the problem is!

    The Rat Patrol, we always get the job done!

  52. The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

    Huge centrefold of a greasy little Pric greeted readers of the Bullet this morning. Vomitous! I’ve seen some anatomical abnormalities grace centrefolds in the past, but this is the most abnormal, and surrounded by words of such fiction. At least it admits he is still renting and does not mention his family setting foot in the city.

    Interesting comparison with the level of coverage for someone who has served his nation in war and peace for more than 70 years. Love or hate Prince Phillip, he set an example that puts the “People’s Pric” in the shade.

    • The Magpie says:

      Except in the area of being a blood sucking burden on the public purse, even Our Prince can’t manage that level of opulence. And he certainly won’t be around for any appreciable length of time.

      At least the Berk of Edinburgh didn’t do much public damage living high on the hog. Not sure the same will be said of Ralston when the sad history is written.

  53. The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

    Just had a phone convo with a friend and colleague who made two observations worthy of sharing here.

    At least the image of the People’s Pric was larger than life size so we can see him for what he is.

    And that in a paper which is singing his praises and that of the chick from the port for all they have done to improve the local economy, there is not a single tender and hardly a page of job ads. Almost more space given to funeral notices. Says something about our local economy under their skilled leadership.

  54. Elusive Butterfly says:

    It must be German week in Townsville.
    First, we have Aldi supposedly opening up here?
    And now, we have a German, with no experience in tourism, heading Townsville Enterprise.
    All I can say is…don’t mention the war!

    • The Magpie says:

      The ‘Pie is not aware of Ms Brumme-Smith’s German link, but boy, if any outfit could do with a bit of Teutonic pragmatism and discipline, TEL would be it. Perhaps exactly the right boss to bring in publicly posted KPIs and specific time line goals. Let’s give her a go in The Nest until the is reason to do otherwise. Her first job as far as The Magpie is concerned is to convince ratepayers why TEL is worth three quarters of a million annual dollars to Townsville ratepayers. So good luck, CBS (you don’t seriously think we’re gunna spell it out every time, do you? A suitable nick name will be applied when it becomes apparent. We’ll settle on Brunhilde for the moment.

      But a couple of points regard ing her experience in tourism. That is possibly a plus, like the CBD, way to much time and waffle is wasted on unrealistic expectations for this sector, and TEL fashions itself as some sort of regional economic flag-bearer. Brunhilde’s track record at the Port seems to fill this bill nicely and the only danger there is if the Peter Principle kicks in … promoted above her level of competence.


      Why is the clearly incompetent business goof Kevin Gill, who was unceremoniously shunted from Townsville Airport, still chairman of TEL? The idea has always been that you BUY a seat on the board, and generally speaking, the higher contributors (memberships by businesses are along the lines of Platinum, Gold, Silver, Bronze, subtract a nought each one down) get a seat on the board and choose a chairman. There is no way Gill, doing whatever he does now if anything, contributes anything like say, The ‘Ville Hotel/Casino. If he contributes anything at all, and is there because unnamed others want a fall guy when the next inevitable fuck-up comes.

      An arrangement of being in someone’s pocket possibly? Better check on who your REAL new overlord is, Ms Brumme-Smith.

      • jawohl says:

        Ms Brumme-Smith certainly is of German blood, married to a local guy named Smith, in case you hadn’t worked that out.

        • The Magpie says:

          Accept your knowledge on this, but that cannot be ‘worked out’ on the available evidence. You make it sound although that is an obvious fact, The Magpie simply said he didn’t know … it could well have been that an Australian, Ms Smith married a German, a Mr Brumme.

          Old rule: to ASSUME makes an Ass out of U and Me.

          • jawohl says:

            However, tradition holds that the female maiden name generally comes first

          • The Magpie says:

            So you assume, and in so doing, you have provided a very good example of why it is never wise to assume. Let’s start at the top.

            From the web:

            Queen Elizabeth was born on April 21, 1926. Her full name at birth was Elizabeth Alexandra Mary, and she was born of the royal House of Windsor. Therefore, Queen Elizabeth’s last name is Windsor.

            She married on November 20, 1947 to a man whose name was Lieutenant Philip Mountbatten. He had been born Prince Philip of Greece and Denmark; however, he renounced the titles and became a British subject when he married Queen Elizabeth.

            Elizabeth, did not adopt the tradition of the non-royals by taking her husband’s last name. In fact, on April 9, 1952, after her accession to the throne, she announced “that I and my children shall be styled and known as the house and family of Windsor, and that my descendants who marry and their descendants, shall bear the name of Windsor.” This confirmed the Royal Family name of Windsor.


            Surname Changed to Mountbatten-Windsor
            In 1960, at the request of The Queen and The Duke of Edinburgh, the Privy Council declared that the Queen’s and Duke’s direct descendants would remain part of the House of Windsor but they would carry the surname of Mountbatten-Windsor.

          • Dave of Kelso says:

            And the ancient Chinese proverb:
            “Assumption Mother of Fuck-up.”

      • BB gun says:

        Young Claudia is an interesting choice. POTL and she have been trying to part ways for some time following an acrimonious but inconclusive investigation into workplace bullying and mismanagement. She can be a nasty piece of work. They will be very pleased to give her the flick.

        • The Magpie says:

          Well, it depends on who thinks she is a ‘nasty piece of work’ – if some slackarse wasn’t pulling their weight, a clipped telling off would not be appreciated. Others may not take that point of view. The ‘Pie is sticking to his initial assessment that she might just be the boot that is needed up TEL’s bum.

  55. Brunhilde says:

    Thank you for the welcome Mr Pie. I hope I live up to your expectations and those of your brethren. I don’t know why Mr Gill is still Chair, but I will find out and let you know! Love Brunny

    • The Magpie says:

      That doesn’t quite fit with what The ‘Pie knows of Teutonic humour, which usually involves farting and sauerkraut, so the authenticity of the author is in doubt. But as a joke, it is like the Germans’ favourite sausage … the wurst.

  56. Elusive Butterfly says:

    There you go Mr. Pie! From Linked In.

    “Claudia Brumme-Smith is the General Manager Property & Trade at Port of Townsville Limited.
    Born and raised in Germany, Claudia has been based in Australia since 2007.”


  57. George ST says:

    Looking forward to next week
    have a tip from a radio producer that Ray Hadley may be firing up again about Townsville matters
    they have been looking into the dust up at the mad cow and have some statements from other parties involved that havnt made any comment as yet

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