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The Magpie

Saturday, April 13th, 2024   |   338 comments

Why Townsville Is Now On ‘Lute Alert’.

A popular political phrase coined more than 150 years ago ‘ the rift in the lute’ has been revived with the election of our accidental mayor, Troy TwoNames Thompson. It is an allusion to an apparently minor piece of damage which could possibly lead to larger disaster.  Welcome to the new Townsville City Council. The embarrassment has started from Day 1.

Upside down, back-to-front and arse about: no, no, not the council,  just another a. day from the Qld government planning brainiacs about to cause us traffic chaos.

The Magpie has a look at the line-up for the latest get-together of the P. T. Barnum Lunch Club, and has a look at what the suck … sorry,  business audience … get for their $150 per head.

And Trump is upstaged – at least for a couple of days … by another murderous villain.

Website hosting fees were among the blog-related bills to thump into the Nest during the week.  Any support to help meet the ever on-going costs of this non-earning weekly missive will be greatly appreciated. The donate button is at the bottom. of the blog.

Townsville City Council Doggy Style

TCC Council April  2024Screen Shot 2024-04-11 at 9.48.53 am

Last Wednesday, bristling tails up, noses glistening wet, the new TCC pack circled each other,  sniffing for friend or foe,  as the new-look council had a look around its new kennel. Fortunately, none were spotted marking out their territory with a lifted leg, but you can bet territory there will be. And above it all was a bemused, seemingly befuddled Troy Thompson,  with a distinct ‘what the fuck do I do now’ look about him.  What he did do was have a fall at the first fence, instantly trashing his transparency promise, by calling for a secret vote for the position of  Deputy Doo Dah. He also backed a weird suggestion of annual in-house election for the deputy’s position, rather than an appointment for the full four year term. Both ideas were overwhelmingly and indignantly voted down. …  because councillors didn’t think it was in line with their new policy of transparency. A good sign.

So let’s see how things were reported in comments as the matters emerged. This summary from contemporaneous posts (The ‘Pie knows from blog stats that only a fraction of the Nest readership look at the  comments, but apologies if you seen much of the following.)

First, another good sign.

The Magpie

April 11, 2024 at 9:00 am  (Edit)

Screen Shot 2024-04-10 at 10.46.35 pm

Well, it seems possible he’ll have one advisor who is a straight shooter. But what a supreme moment of vindication for Fran, who put up with so much shit from the mayor and particularly The Mullet’s toady-in-chief Bligh (who survives like amoebas so often do). In one of the most cynical Hill moves, Bligh was suddenly given the title of ‘In-house Counsel’, which gave him a big bullying stick with which to continually bash Fran. If Fran wasn’t such an ethical person, Bligh would ducking a stiff arm or two as they passed in the hallways. And if she officially becomes an advisor, she will be striding the halls of Walker Street to the background sounds of grinding teeth from the Hill rump of supporters.

Best suggestion of the week so far is from reader Doug Kingston, who suggests all purposes would be served if Fran O’Callaghan was appointed the new CEO!!!

Then there was The Magpie’s genuine astonishment at the call for a secret ballot for the Deputy position, which experienced politico Paul ‘The Angry Ant’ Jacob had engineered and tied up well in advance with Hill Team turn-coat Kurt Rehbein. Ma Greaney, who would’ve won the plum salary of deputy, ($20,000 more than a councillor) was blindsided and wasn’t a happy camper at all. But it was the issue of the secret vote issue … and the mob of fruit loop cookers My Place in the background, that caused the Magpie some angst.

The Magpie 

April 11, 2024 at 10:06 am  (Edit)

Quite astounding. Con men usually aren’t as thick as that, but it all points to the fact that TwoNames really can’t believe the situation in which he finds himself, and by the looks of him, he’s not sure he likes where he is.  He knows that sooner rather than later, details of his past will have to be addressed, The Magpie knows that at least three southern outfits with REAL investigative journalists are looking at him. And as another commenter said, Thompson’s visit to Brisbane ( for mandatory LG training) will be interesting, where there is a particularly aggressive pack of baying journos. Not the least of which is News Ltd’s Courier Mail rottweilers, not happy with our mayor’s treatment of St Rupert’s Church of the Townsville Astonisher.

And that issue brought forth some character revelations about at least one of the newly elected.

  • The Magpie

April 11, 2024 at 10:18 am  (Edit)

And it seems we have another right wing fruit loop who needs careful watching.

Andrew Robinson Screen Shot 2024-04-11 at 10.08.59 am

Div 8 Clr Andrew Robinson

Division 8s Andrew Robinson showed his colours early, in calling for a secret ballot for Deputy Doo Dah. His background, not just ADF (thank you for your service) but a Duntroon graduate (here’s your blinkers, officer, wear them at all, times), betrays a mind set not conducive to open and transparent governance, a sort ‘do not question orders from your superiors type of guff – we’ll let you know what we decide when we think it appropriate’..

But this turkey managed to look a total ninny when he tried to explain away his totally defeated secret ballot call, telling the Bulletin….
Division 8’s new councillor Mr Robinson advocated the secret ballot and said only the outcome of the council’s vote was what mattered.
“Regardless of how the councillors vote, at the end of the day we will adopt whatever position the council agrees on,” he said.
“And therefore to my mind it is irrelevant whether the vote is 1-7 or something else.

Unless you smarten up, soldier, it will be you who will quickly become irrelevant.

That Magpie view raised the ire of a few folks (so unusual for The ‘Pie to upset people) , who vehemently believed Mr Robinson would be a good councillor.

  • Correction  commenter

    I’ve run into Andrew Robinson many times during through our shared Defence service. I think he’s a good bloke with a sensible head on his shoulders. He’s no lightweight. I can’t see him blindly following the orders of the Mayor. Robinson has the ability to analyse and solve problems without direction from others (esp. if the others haven’t got a clue). I think you will find that he will develop into a very good Councillor. I wish he represented my Division.

    • The Magpie 


      Well, he hasn’t started well, as pointed out. And solving problems yourself without consultation with other elected people … clueless or otherwise… isn’t helpful either. But let’s see how he goes, it wasn’t a hanging offence, just poorly thought out and disassociated from the transparency ideal.

Fun times ahead, with Mayor TwoNames My Place backers urging him to act on such vital matters as removing fluoride from the city’s water supply,  and a bit of sovereign citizen batshittery (this is a My Place fav) questioning the legitimacy of the coat of arms in the council chambers. Now there’s a subject that has monopolised front bar conversation around town.

Screen Shot 2024-04-13 at 8.25.28 pm

Shortly after the above pic was taken,  CEO Prins The Prince Ralston resigned, saying he was taking his. bat, ball and couple of million dollars he has milked us for and would play somewhere else. There would be a public farewell for him, but it seems there are no suitable telephone booths left to rent to  accomodate his well wishers. Perhaps a Port-A-Loo?

Thompson trolls and dishonest actors in Nest comments continue to attack The Magpie with the idiotic mantra of ‘give him a go’.  These ninnies do not understand that of course fair minded people, including The Magpie, will ‘give him a go’ – but that’s a two-way street in the world of public office.How about Thompson and his drool squad give we residents a go and answer some perfectly legitimate questions, questions he wrongly maintains are none of our business.

But Troy Thompson’s elevation which has clearly surprised and disconcerted him reminds The ‘Pie of James Cagney’s famous closing line in the 1949 movie White Heat.

Screen Shot 2024-04-13 at 12.42.49 pm

For all our sakes, one hopes that it doesn’t end for him, or Townsville,  as it did for Jimmy Cagney.

It’s a fair bet that Alfred Lord Tennyson didn’t have Townsville Council in mind when he wrote ‘It is the little rift within the lute, That by and by will make the music mute’.  An eloquent. way of saying there is always a capacity for a minor matter to develop into a massive fuck-up, and those  that is the eggshell path we now find ourselves tip-toeing across.

Duplication Duplicity

There’s something depressingly repetitive about the idiocy of the government infrastructure planners and political expediency here in Townsville.  Whenever an election is in the offing,  we cop a serve of smarmy stupidity.

Many remember the embarrassment of the Ring Road. When ego-on-a-stick Mike Capt Snooze Reynolds seemed to be in a bit of electoral strife, he came up with the grand announcement that the mooted Ring Road for Townsville would be go ahead and be built.  This pompous self-regarding oaf – it’s rumoured that his bathroom mirror has love bites  – duly strutted and smarmed his way back into office … and then it was announced that the Ring Road would be built …  in two stages.  And so it was, with travellers and commuters getting a laugh from the gee whiz sounding  ‘Townsville Ring Road’ signs at either end heralding a  few kilometres of two lane standard black top. After many embarrassing years,  the second stage was built (long after Capt Snooze had retired to spend more time with his money) but at a cost more than double the initial two lanes.

Now we have a slightly different version of the same inexplicable lack of vision when the bleedin’ obvious is staring planners and politicians alike in the face. This week’s media release.

Screen Shot 2024-04-13 at 9.14.04 pm

Tucked away almost as an afterthought in the media release  was this throwaway line: $99.8 million has also been committed to duplicate Bowen Road Bridge, which is the last remaining bottleneck on this section of the state-controlled road.

Keep in mind the word ‘committed’, one of the great weasel words of the spinners’ lexicon. And no timetable has been set for this part of the jigsaw.

So, let’s have. a look at this:

Screen Shot 2024-04-13 at 9.19.39 pm

So the upgraded four lane Uni Drive to the two-lane Bowen Bridge … said bridge connecting with the existing four lane Bowen Road coming out of town on the other side.

The admission that money is allocated for the bridge is in effect saying, in neon lights, ‘our planners are fucking idiots.

If the money for the Uni Road to Bowen Bridge upgrade is available, but the bridge upgrade (to four lanes) is not, why not swap the caches of dough around. Built the two extra lanes on the bridge, which can stay open during the work,  life goes on as normal and THEN build the four lanes out to University Road?  Doing the current planned way is going to create completely unnecessary traffic frustration and chaos, with the bridge no doubt quickly dubbed Bottleneck Bridge.

But one supposes the government nitwits have got one thing right … kids in the area will be much safer, as its very hard to be injured by a vehicle doing 5kph, as the kids ride by on their bicycles.

Les Walker is taking credit for this project.


A Lunch Hard To Swallow

This caught the beady Magpie eye during the week.


$150 per person? For a few bucks more, you could’ve gone to the Pink concert. But here, you get a truly  riveting line-up to accompany your rubber chicken and Yellowtail bubbles. Let’s take a closer look, and try not to yell ‘Shuddup and take my money!!’

Screen Shot 2024-04-09 at 9.55.15 am Jaynie Seal reads news and opinion scripts written for at Rupert’s Sky news channel,  but her deep analytical background as a weather girl for many years will no doubt offer valuable insights into our future. Demographer Simon Kuestenmacher will tell us how many people are here, how many are likely to come and how any are likely to become ill,  Townsville Hospital boss Kieran Keyes will then advise how his infrastructure sometimes leaks unexpectedly,  why he charges outrageous parking fees and why his people occasionally send home seriously ill kids with the direction to take a couple of aspirin, Townsville Bulletin General Manager (ha ha, really?) Suzanne Wilson might reveal whatever it is she does for a living,  and what ever Bulletin editor Cas Garvey says will bring the house down with her tales of terminally ill kiddies, cute animals,  and new coffee shops putting Townsville on the map.

Wonder if throwable bread rolls will be supplied in the $150 tariff?

Quaintly Qantas.

Seems Jenny Hill’s infamous call to boycott Qantas a while back has taken a 180 degree turn … more often than not Qantas is boycotting customers with cancellations, delays and over-booking.

But hey, let’s not look a gift horse and all that, quick, get in for your new Qantas ‘experience’.

Screen Shot 2024-04-12 at 11.37.56 am

Hur hur hur, could anything be funnier than that from The Shovel?

Screen Shot 2024-04-12 at 8.18.15 am

Well, yeah.This. (Scroll down to Tourism and Travel). Makes you wonder who they actually surveyed.

For Once, America Talks About Something Else

Ironic that it takes the death of a double murderer to remove the spotlight from the former mobster president who killed in the thousands with his deliberate and deeply ignorant  mishandling of the Covid response. But O.J The Juice Simpson managed it, carking it from cancer aged 76. His legendary slow-motion police chase and 1994 trial were global sensations. he was acquitted of the stabbing murder of his wife and her boyfriend, but was found liable in a civil trial three years later. He later served 9 years for some violent idiocy involving sports memorabilia. And kidnapping.  A man unwept, unhonoured and unsung.

Screen Shot 2024-04-13 at 9.39.36 am Screen Shot 2024-04-13 at 9.41.12 am Screen Shot 2024-04-13 at 9.39.15 am Screen Shot 2024-04-13 at 9.41.30 am

Screen Shot 2024-04-12 at 8.28.32 am Screen Shot 2024-04-12 at 8.27.19 am Screen Shot 2024-04-10 at 8.50.33 am Screen Shot 2024-04-10 at 8.53.40 am Screen Shot 2024-04-10 at 8.54.32 am Screen Shot 2024-04-09 at 8.40.54 am Screen Shot 2024-04-09 at 8.41.23 am Screen Shot 2024-04-09 at 8.42.25 am Screen Shot 2024-04-09 at 8.43.05 am

 Finally, A little Contest For Readers

The following, a localised version of a Yes Minister classic, arrived in The Nest during the week. Pretty good, but how about coming up with an entry for the Townsville Bulletin. Send you suggestions into Nest comments.

This is sometimes amazingly accurate.  

1. The Australian Financial Review is read by the people who run the country.

2. The Canberra Times is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The Australian is read by people who think they should run the country, and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. The Sydney Morning Herald is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don’t really understand The Australian.

5. The Courier Mail is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country, if they didn’t have to leave Queensland to do it.

6. The Age is read by people whose parents used to run the country.

7. The Melbourne Herald Sun is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running the country and don’t really care as long as they can get a seat on the train

8. The Sydney Daily Telegraph is read by people who don’t care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

9. The West Australian is read by people who are in prison, who used to run the state, and would like to do so again, as would their constituents who are currently free on bail.

10. The Hobart Mercury is (slowly) read by people who are running another country, but need the Aussie Rules scores.

11. Crikey is read by people who aren’t sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are gay, handicapped, minority, feminist, atheists, and those who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not conservatives.

12. The Adelaide Advertiser is read by people trapped in a line at the supermarket waiting for the electricity to come back on.

13. The Northern Territory Times is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something to wrap it in.

The ‘Pie’s entry:

The Townsville Bulletin is read by people who need new lounges and washing machines.


Another week gone .. . as they say, when you get older, the days drag on but the years fly by. Hey, be sure to check out the menagerie of new readers infesting our comments throughout the week. Yeah, it’s a lot like mocking the afflicted, but hey, admit it, that’s always been fun. The donate button is below.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. ArtyB says:

    To correct you Magpie, yes, the secret ballot was defeated, but was always put up as optional for and against by the Mayor, it was written by an advisor to match ECQ guidelines for Mr Thompson to present. And the annual review of position was not defeated, and is now par for the course each re-occurring April, annually over the next 4 years.

    I agree with you on the southern reporters, my colleagues tell me the Mayor was in fact in the Australian Army Reserve, so technically, this may fizzle, he has said this a bit recently, recently on power100. With regard, the matter of formal accreditation he may almost be ok, he was a student of Griffith University on the Gold Coast and began his Bachelor of Business, majoring in Accounting, finishing some units, at the time he was working and accepted a lucrative position. My understanding on the Curtain he was also enrolled, he was at the time a handy rugby league player, and named in the Western Reds League training squads, though no new information has come forward. I am informed no education was declared on his admission to the 2020 & 2024 election or his employment, so it is interesting times ahead, as you said some clarity may be all that is required, then we can move on.

    If anyone thinks Dr Ralston resigned off his own bat, they are imagining it. 4 weeks is a push, only one person can do that, without heading to the chamber, the Mayor & his advisors. I’m sure the shock on the faces of the Team Jenny Hill members was a surprise., as they too will now have no where to lean on. Dr Ralston will head to Brisbane City Council, with his friend, CFO Julie Hilder, and a raft of others ( I’m hearing of 8 high level resignations). TCC will finally get the cleanse it sorely needs, next will be the over staffed media & communications team. TEL is the next problem after that, and there funding agreement will no doubt be put on the table and under the microscope, as the Mayor favours the Chamber of Commerce, as a previous member of the Australian & British Chamber of Commerce, amongst other memberships. He will no doubt use his connections to infiltrate the many allegedly in conflict organisations.

    His meeting with Premier Miles, Opposition Leader Crisafulli will be an interesting one, as he has his pre budget pack and pledges ready to go to garner support.

    Is the Townsville Future due to be farcical affair? No mayor in attendance so the Bulletin thinks it can map out and present it without the support of him or his team, I’d suggest the Bulletin may end up with egg on its face, talking about the future without the support of its city’s leadership. We must remember the community of voters was clear its business leadership are not seen as leaders in the view of the voting public.

    • The Magpie says:

      Congratulations on your appointment as the new head of TCC media and spin. Be much easier than the campaign stuff you’ve been hawking about.

      And Ralston’s departure certainly came as no surprise to Ralston, who weeks ago made his plans accordingly. Please show the section of the Qld Local Government Act. that empowers a mayor to unilaterally sack a CEO with reference to the council and a subsequent vote.

    • Bullshit says:

      Of course the secret ballot was optional, he didn’t have the power to impose it by himself so it had to be subject to a vote!!!

    • Grumpy says:

      Arty, Arty, Art …”Almost be OK”???? He lied about his tertiary qualifications. End of story. Stop trying to wriggle out of it because you are just further embarrassing himself and yourself.

      The “mayor and his advisors” can sack the CEO? You idiot. I’m starting to think that Fran may have hitched her wagon to the wrong mule and may be soon regretting it.

      The poor grammar, tortured syntax and general tone of your post is redolent of Sovereign Citizen nonsense.

    • Ducks Nuts says:


      There are no provisions in the Model Meeting Procedures, which all councils must adopt, for voting on resolutions in local government meetings to be secret. So it could never be imposed and he should be reported for even suggesting it.

      Additionally, the appointment, removal or suspension of a CEO is not a power that can be exercised by a mayor without a decision of Council. Thos would need to happen in a Special Council Meeting as it relates to an employee. I see no Special Council Meetings, so this did not happen. But if, as you say, TwoNames has asked Prins to leave he can be referred for misconduct. Although, like Magpie, I highly doubt it. Prins is much smarter than TwoNames.

      • The Magpie says:

        Ducky, just so you know, a short time ago The ‘Pie has been assured that ArtyB is in fact Thompson himself (or a nearest and dearest, although unlikely). How to we reach this conclusion? Well, it’s a massive coincidence that several friends from years gone by tell The Magpie that Thompson’s favourite footballer who he idolised was … ta da … Arthur Beetson. So you may address ArtyB as Troy, Thommo or, if in a nasty mood, Thomstain.
        Although after this post, doubt we’ll hear from our new mayor under that name now he’s been outed.

        • Ducks Nuts says:

          Considering the long history of talking himself up, not having a fucking clue and being all over social media abusing and harassing people, this fits well with known behaviour.
          I’m also under the assumption MichaelJ is similar. Mr Thompstain has a bit of a liking for Michael Jackson.

    • The Unflinching Finch says:

      “ArtyB” had “a hundred plus concussions playing the game he loves” and “worked for the Dept of Homeland Security in Germany”. I’m gona go out on a limb here and suggest of all the things that could have happened.. these happened the least.

    • OUTlAW-YER says:

      I have a feeling the State Government know’s why the CEO resigned. ????

  2. Pedant says:

    The Townsville Bulletin is read by budgies kept in cages by people who can’t read, but have finished looking at photographs of Townsville’s best pies and cutest crims. The city’s budgie community looks forward to the day the Bulletin Investigative Journalism Team sets out to find Townsville’s prettiest budgie. It won’t be a long wait.

  3. NotJenny says:

    The local government has little cash in bank, everyone knows they are fragile, should the administrators be called in. They are not broke, they have assets, $7B worth, sell, sell & sell! This new bloke should be allowed to run a bit, standing committees were blockers, he just saved us in time and a lot of money. Wait until he gets to the advisory committees, it’s time to shake it up, I bet young Kurt gets the portfolio he wants now, after supporting Jacob. A new CEO will be very good for the business of council, until them if an interim CEO parachuted in is there, does he simply follow the Mayors instruction….

    • The Magpie says:

      You folks, some from unidentified planets, always good for a laugh and a sigh. Councillors do not have portfolios … if they chair a committee, they are there to bang the gavel and keep the agenda on track, but have no ministerial-like powers. Standing committees are, as The ‘Pie understands, the vital interface between the elected and the public service. And the Campbell Newman policy of sell, sell, sell public assets tends to be a tell tale as to where TwoNames backers are coming from. Be ready for a big change when our new mayor returns from brisbane … a reality check does wonders for a bloke’s personality.

  4. Alfred E Neuman says:

    The Townsville Bulletin is not read by people lining the bird cage floor or lighting the BBQ.

  5. Up the wahs says:

    The Townsville bulletin is read by people waiting for their chance to enter “Townsville’s cutest dog-baby” contest.

  6. Mike Douglas says:

    So much innuendo about Townsville Council . For those with property or businesses out of the Ville other local Councils just get on with it with less spin and failed project announcenebtd . Less than 200 days before the State election and Les , Aaron , Scott must love the Council distraction . The three seem to be more excited Tones and I Townsville concert is sold out than trying to fix crime , homelessness , cost of living . Councils next challenge is looking at the labyrinth of events and entities set up by the ex Mayor sucking $mils out of the budget . Add many of the politically aligned Senior execs who lack the qualifications but were prepared to do what the Mayor said .

  7. Trix says:

    Just a minor correction, Brodie Phillips is the div 2 councillor. not Brady.

  8. Going in to bat says:

    I reckon Ken Diehm and Keith Parsons should be encouraged to apply for the CEO and Finance positions. Both were good operators last time they were in Townsville City Council.


  9. Doug K says:

    The Townsville Bulletin website is read by people who have been in a coma for weeks or even months and want to catch up.
    Some of the stories are so old the words are starting to fade.

  10. Alahazbin says:

    That ‘walk about’ intersection at Wulguru was a clusterfuck from the start. Original plans showed that Bruce Highway/University Rd was to be an overpass, but like all government projects in NQ they just find a ‘cheap arse’ way of fucking it up.

  11. Not on your Nelly Bay says:

    One has to ask what was in it for Rehbein to back Two Names’ preferred pick for deputy. Is he so shit scared by his patch having the highest anti-Mullet vote – saved only by being kissed on the dick by a fairy and didn’t get an opponent? Or has some cushy handshake deal taken place – the reward being the all-expenses-paid trip to Brisbane for the annual LGAQ love in?

    • Easypeezy says:

      Labor supporting Labor deputy I suppose

      • PollyWatcher says:

        Definitely AlP supporting ALP. Ma-Greaney is LNP aligned.

        • Bullshit says:

          That makes Liam Mooney’s support for her even stranger. Why set up Greaney as deputy when she’s going to run on the LNP ticket in 2028?

        • Jenny says:

          Greaney LNP-aligned. Ha ha ha! Yeah, right.

          • The Magpie says:

            The ‘pie was wondering about that. While she represents a silver-tail division, is there any evidence of political allegiances (being on Team Hill does not count … most of those team members were on on Team Gravy Train.)

          • Not on your Nelly Bay says:

            I do remember seeing Greaney handing out pamphlets for Ewen Jones back in the day. She might not be a paid up member of the LNP, but I would suggest that she was one of the few on Team Hill not considered as one of the comrades.

      • Not on your Nelly Bay says:

        Rehbein is in the right faction (although Rehbein jumped from the left about five years ago) and Jacob is a local leading luminary of the left (says a lot about ALP’s depth of talent). Interesting though – what demands greater loyalty – the ALP or a now defunct council team? Is Rehbein plotting to jump ship yet again?

  12. Prince Rollmop says:

    Lots of new names popping up in the Nest over the past week or so, and all of them backing Twonames. It would seem that Twonames either has one person with multiple names, or multiple people that have been tasked to infiltrate the Nest and only say positive things about him. It’s been a coordinated approach. Interesting.

    • The Magpie says:

      The latter.

      • ziptied helmet says:

        Magpie, your thoughts are starting to veer into conspiracy theory territory. Do you truly believe that the influx of diverse opinions is a ‘coordinated plan’ to sway your readers into thinking Troy is a decent guy who deserves a chance? Have you considered that this surge in participation might simply be due to the social media buzz and the mentions of your website? It’s plausible that since many people voted for Troy and appreciated his views, those who saw your site mentioned on Facebook decided to check it out and gain a new perspective.

  13. Bin Chicken 4810 says:

    As long as TwoNames axes TEL,
    his time in office won’t be wasted.

    • The Magpie says:

      Yes, but it will depend on who – perhaps how many – the council appoints to fill the role they are so woeful at. Maybe a couple of people here, and an agent in Brisbane covering potential benefits in the capital cities. But the job MUST come with KPIs for all of the department.

      • Prince Rollmop says:

        TEL has morphed into an almost ‘all women’ enterprise. It is a joke. All they do is commission reports from consultants and then palm the work off as being their own. If Troy wants to make headway he should initially reduce TEL to a team of 3 or 4. The chamber of commerce should be doing the work of TEL, with perhaps a financial contribution from Council towards its operational expenses. Or Council could perhaps beef up its grants department and have closer oversight of those sort of activities by one of the GM’s, maybe even the CFO. There are a dozen ways to reduce costs and duplication and now is the time to make those changes. Strike while the iron is hot.

        • The Magpie says:

          The mayor technically has no say in the operationalnside of TEL, except as a board member. So in fact, the only power the council has over is self described as ‘a member based organisation’ is the annual $750k of public funds allocated to the Dudleys. Even if that was removed totally (unlikely), TEL still get government money from various hand-out sources. But the ratepayers would be off the hook. If the annual TCC grant isn just reduced (significantly one would hope) then there definitely has to be KPIs every six months. And reported publicly not behind closed doors. you know, transparency and all that.

          • Inspector Clouseau says:

            Just checked TEL website; references to J Mullet Hill have been removed as a board member, no current sign of twonames/two watches added, as yet.

        • Not running for Mayor says:

          The local Chamber of Commerce has joined TEL in becoming a bitchfest. All staff are female. Board is led by Amanda Mears who has ridden the coattails of anyone she could find, along with a gaggle of limp nobodies on the Board. Apart from putting up banners for coffee events they have become irrelevant in the business community. Better to bin both organisations and start again.

          • The Magpie says:

            While The ‘Pie does not agree with your apparently personal misogynistic characterisation, thought you should know that the Chamber of Commerce is absolutely nothing to do with the TCC (thank Christ!) and while The ‘Pie has consistently called for the Chamber to examine its stance and up its presence, it is not funded by the council (but may get the occasional grant under some funding initiatives … anyone?), which has no say in it, beyond Jenny’s previous bullying of it’s CBD members. It is a genuinely member based organisation as far as I know, unlike TEL’s similar but false boast (used to hide information about the use of ratepayers annual $750,000 prop-up).

          • ziptied helmet says:

            ‘Not running for Mayor’ are you trying to suggest that TEL and Chamber positions might have been filled because ‘wamen’ (DEI quotas) and perhaps not totally based on merit?

        • One handed clap says:

          Giving money to TEL was always shaking money into the toilet. I’d bet these organisations are created to reward people for previous services, presumably someone’s missus gets employed.

      • Jatzcrackers says:

        Agree Pie. KPI’s are probably the most important dashboard information for any organisation, public or otherwise. The scariest thing is those at the top who demand the KPI reports and then choose not to absorb the contained info, ignore the elephant in the room and carry on regardless with their own predetermined agenda ! (See Jenny Hill)

  14. Nostradamus says:

    Farewell Prins:

    ‘Hooray for Prinsie, hooray at last, he’s not a horses head, he’s a horses arse.
    Don’t be mistaken, don’t be misled, he’s not a horses arse, he’s a horses head!’

    God help Brisvegas!

  15. Burnt Brows says:

    Quote ArtyB- “With regard, the matter of formal accreditation he may almost be ok, he was a student of Griffith University on the Gold Coast and began his Bachelor of Business, majoring in Accounting, finishing some units, at the time he was working and accepted a lucrative position.”. In other words, has NO formal qualification in that regard. But publishing it as a qualification on a LinkedIn profile and not clarifying that it was never finished / completed / achieved (only did some subjects which now count for nothing) is not being honest in any way. When I was considering who to vote for Mayor I looked at all their online profiles including LinkedIn accounts to make my decision who I thought would be most appropriate for the job ……. I have seen people miss out on top level management roles for not being 100% honest and accurate on social media profiles- why should a Councillor position be any different?

    • ziptied helmet says:

      You make a compelling point. Many people voted for him based on his credentials, and the fact that he misled them should prompt those who advocate for giving him “a fair go” to reconsider their stance. Why should he be given a fair chance when he didn’t afford the same to the voters by accurately stating his experience and qualifications? It’s the same reason One Nation gave him the boot.

    • The Magpie says:

      FYI, everybody. This has been provided to the Nest by a well informed reader. It is Mr Thompson’s latest CV, just before becoming mayor.

      Name: Troy Joseph Thompson
      Current Address: U55/42 Stadium Drive
      Robina Queensland 4226
      Mobile Phone: +61 452 528 245
      School: 1984-1988 Kirwan High School, Townsville. Queensland
      1990 – 1993 Curtin University (Perth, Western Australia) Occupation Health and Safety Management
      2000 – 2005 Griffith University (Gold Coast, Queensland) Commerce, majors Accounting and Marketing
      Employment History:
      April 2016-Current iPRO Solutions P/L, iPRO Inc USA, iPRO Europe UK Ltd, Zoetik P/L, Zoetik Tech. P/L

      CEO & Director
      Oct 2015- Mar 2016 iPRO Solutions Pty Ltd

      Global Strategic Partnerships Director
      Nov 2013 – June 2015 PICS Auditing Limited / Avetta Inc.
      Commercial Director EMEA & APAC
       Development of Sales Team EMEA & APAC
       Budget and Financial Management for Region
       Enlarge Global footprint (current clients) – Global Account Management
       Establish sector verticals
       Build International Alliances (PwC, TuV, DLA Piper, AXA)
       Establish KPI’s
       Presentation preparation
       Contract Management
       Salesforce CRM (181 hours online training)
       Marketo Marketing Engine
       Solution Consulting
       Lead demand generation team
       Technology Solution Selling
       SaaS Experience
       Employee Level Solution Selling – Value Add
       Audit and Insurance Functionality – Solution
       Sustainability
       Training
       Risk Management
      Feb 2013 – Oct 2013 BROWZ Europe Ltd
      Commercial Director EMEA
       Legacy Client Relations
       Global Account Management
       Business Development
       SaaS Technology
       Software Selling (Supply Chain Prequalification Solution)
       Employee Management Solution Selling
       Audit
       Insurance
       Technical capability
       Salesforce (97 hours online training)
       New Client relationships

      Jan 2011 – May 2017 Evolution Alliance Ltd / Evolution Piling Pty Ltd / Evolution Geothermal Pty Ltd

      Shareholder /Dirtector
       Geothermal Energy Development Advisor
       Financial Reporting
       Operational Advisory

      July 2004 – Jan 2011 ASP Group – Ausheet, ADS, BUCAM, Pacific Tanks and Surfmill Pty Ltd

      Operations Manager
       Business Development – New and Existing
       Safety Management Systems
       Construction Project Management
       Site Management
       PNG Civil works – 6 Months – FIFO (Lair)
       Liaison with suppliers and clients.
       Overseeing – 9 companies in the (ASP) group reporting directly to the Director of the
       Health Safety and Environmental Management system implementation (AS1401, AS4801
      & ISO 9001) IMS systems.
       Recruitment of all employees (across all companies)
       Contract Management / Contract Law related documentation and preparation
       Quality Assurance systems implementation
       Product development, gaining funding through government initiatives, and private
       Managing a staff of 89 people over ASP group.
       Member of safety boards
       Preparation of business plans, financial management reports, for the presentation to the
       Sponsoring of community projects, Autism Qld, Schools and sporting clubs.
       Regular invitee to government and industry functions throughout Australia
       Overseeing business units in, dewatering business, wood chipping, and concreting,
      manufacturing, piling, environmental businesses.
       Designing and implementing of Marketing Initiatives through graphic design network

      Language: English – Native tongue
      German – Intermediate

      Passports: Dual British and Australian Passport holder, and citizen, German Residency
      Computer Skills: Salesforce, Marketo, Inside Sales, Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Microsoft office, Webex and

      Internet Proficient. (SaaS provider) Solutions Consulting.

      • NotJenny says:

        So you are assuming the dates mean he has completed courses, because I see no reference to completed, just saying Magpie. Thats not enough, even you know that.

        • The Magpie says:

          Don’t follow what you’re saying, Jenny. The ‘Pie made no comment, just posted the cv for your information and your (the readers’) own conclusions or questions.

        • ABS says:

          Those listings imply that he finished two degrees and it’s absolutely shonky to list them on a resume without specifying that they’re incomplete.

        • Grumpy says:

          Not Jenny – you must be some type of real stupid to think that the charlatan was not clearly implying he had those qualifications.

        • Bullshit says:

          Not Jenny, he claimed elsewhere that he had the degrees. Linkedin I think. So you’re just reaffirming that he was lying elsewhere!

      • Toy Thomstain says:

        No mention of any formal qualifications from Uni and no mention of his SAS work.
        Liar liar pants on fire…..

      • Ducks Nuts says:

        So Prins the safety nut has left and now Twonames who claims to have a degree in safety is the Mayor. But don’t worry, he’s had 97 hours training in Salesforce in 2013 (which is now irrelevant because Salesforce is rapidly evolving) and can use Word, Excel and PowerPoint. I look forward to a plethora of PowerPoint presentations.

        As a side note, the dates listed here for ipro are different to what was on his LinkedIn. That said June 2015 – June 2018.

        Then 2018 – 2020 Chairperson Community ASA
        And from 1996 to present he’s been the Director of Business Accelerate (which only got an ABN in 2022)

        • Prince Rollmop says:

          Well researched Ducky. The more people that look into this muppets past, the more things are found that don’t add up. Troy – the quintessential shonk. His CV is good for lining the budgie cage. As for the midget Prins, his safety obsession comes from his background working for Clayton Utz. That, combined with him being a company director, would have given him lots of exposure to safety related incidents and the financial and legal implication of such incidents upon an organisation’s CEO and Directors.

      • I’ll be plucked says:

        Pie, calling this a CV is a bigger stretch than Pizza The Huts waist! It is an incomprehensible list of rubbish! If it was presented for a job it would end up in the round file!

      • Not on your Nelly Bay says:

        I wonder if our illustrious mayor is proud of his record at iPro… a quick search through the ABN/ASIC records shows what an astute businessman Two Names is.

        • ziptied helmet says:

          We’re not totally sure what happened with those businesses he was running. I saw a now deleted video on his Facebook account that he was brought in to save the organisation. He claimed it was 17mil in debt and he then reduced it to 4mil of debt but the stakeholders were happy enough with that, so they decided to wind it up. Take that as you will but based off his other claims, who knows what the full story actually was.

      • Not running for Mayor says:

        So immediately before becoming Townsville mayor he was living on the Sunshine Coast and now he lives locally with his Mum. What do the local government regs say about having to live in the area you represent? That might be the chink in his bullshit armor that sinks him.

      • Charlie Wulguru says:

        Re:- The CV…. Are you sure someone’s not winding you up, Pie.

  16. Jeff, Condon says:

    Five innocent people stabbed to death on a shopping trip in Bondi Junction on Saturday arvo. Another 12 injured in hospital. A lone responding policewoman faces and takes him down.

    Meanwhile, in Townsville we keep fretting about a secret ballot that didn’t occur for Deputy Mayor a week ago. Yep, we’ve got a priotities right.

    • The Magpie says:

      Even for you, that is so deeply stupid as to beggar belief. You are in essence and in your own addled way saying we cannot handle more than one thing at a time.

      BUT you’re dead wrong in YOUR priorities … thos localised source of debate and information SHOULD BE MORE CONCERNED with vital matters connected with our governance. What do suggest we all do? Stop our every day existence because some insane arsesole goes on a stabbing spree.

      You’re getting fucking tiresome, you lot of TwoNames cocksuckers. Although, with at least two commenters, that would be a near impossible feat of self-fellating.

      • Jeff, Condon says:

        Finally got your normal response.

        You misunderstand. I was suggesting we might move on to another subject. The old has been beaten to death.

        Don’t understand your last paragraph.

        • The Magpie says:

          Which old subject has been beaten to death?

        • ABS says:

          If you want to move onto another subject you should suggest one, it’s not anyone else’s job to entertain you.

          The Sydney stabbing has no local connection as far as I can tell so not really worth discussing on a local news blog.

      • upagumtreeperson says:

        Honestly, Magpie your blog has descended into trash talk with swearing and disgusting words. This is a public voice and I wonder when you will modify your strong irrelevant language. You after all are a former journalist of some note but your replies need to be more prudent. Use proper strong relevant adjectives please Magpie. I respect what you say but also respect what others say too.
        You are better than this. Do not let trash spoil your blog.

    • Not standing for Mayor says:

      There seem to be many similarities about the killings in Bondi and the situation in Townsville. Both cases have a seriously deranged man running around doing violence in the community to people minding their own business. But in Townsville no one has yet stepped up to put ours down.

  17. Lab Rat says:

    Dear Fran, you are judged by the company you keep. Twonames is using you to gain credibility. Save yourself before the fleas infest you.

  18. Scott Mundingburra says:

    Bowen Road bridge construction is due to start mid 2024 as per the Main Roads website- https://www.tmr.qld.gov.au/projects/townsville-connection-road-stuart-drive-bowen-road-bridge-idalia-duplicate-bridge-and-approaches

    • The Magpie says:

      Why wouldn’t they mention that in the other bumf … are they really so dense (well, it is Les Walker) to miss the opportunity for a far better story. That is, if the new bridge lanes do actually start sometime in the next 6 weeks. We’ll see.

      • Scott Mundingburra says:

        Maybe LW is only permitted one project item per media release to reduce the possibility of confusion.

        • The Magpie says:

          Yeah, get your jest. But the fact that its two projects is idiotic in itself. In any sane world, it is ONE project, perhaps with different tenderers, which to be expected.

          • Former journo says:

            From what I understand Pie (and could be wrong so don’t quote me on it), the reason it is two projects is that they are being delivered by two levels of Gov: one part is Feds, the other part is state (as each own the different infrastructures). Bound to be a clusterfk!

          • The Magpie says:

            although honestly, doesn’t sound quite right, the state government release said ‘$99.8m has also been committed to duplicate the Bowen Bridgealso. And Can’t see how the Feds would either part of the project, unless maybe under some city bullshit deal.

            But all that said, it shouldn’t preclude a bigger whiz-bang media release for brownie points. On gets the feeling, despite what has been said aboutstart dates, the bridge will remain a bottleneck for some time to come.

      • Mundingbird says:

        I have met some fuckwits in my 63 years on this planet,but Les Walker takes the cake. I look forward to the October election to boot the stupid prick.

        • upagumtreeperson says:

          Language please! Let us get back to basics with good solid decent English language. No crap talk. You are all capable of the use of correct language. Step up magpies! ( PS I expect a trash reply from MR Magpie.) Happy days everyone.

        • Inspector Clouseau says:

          Errr, ok Bird. Have you just had an epiphany? Most of us have known this for a very long time. I’m listening…….,,

  19. Jeff, Condon says:

    The scales fall from my eyes.

    This blog was set to concentrate on local issues.

    I’m an outsider. Only lived here over 30 years ago, no kids to send to school here and my wife wasn’t buried by Morleys, making me an outsider.

    So, no more criticism, observation or opinions from me on issues outside the status quo.

    • upagumtreeperson says:

      Well then, bye bye. Don’t slam the door on your way out.

    • Bullshit says:

      That wasn’t scales falling that was your glass jaw breaking! You can comment on whatever you want but don’t have a sook if people disagree with you or ignore you.

    • The Unflinching Finch says:

      Horrible statement to bring a deceased partner into a conversation. Get help.

      • Jatzcrackers says:

        Bird, get a life. Everyone has history, some who are dead ! Stop trying to control the narrative ! Think Magpie made this an open comment blog.

        • ABS says:

          They’re right though, using your deceased partner for pity points is a shameful rhetorical tactic, especially for something so trivial as Jeff’s complaint that he was bored with local news. (Speaking of trying to control the narrative!)

  20. Grumpy says:

    In his efforts to appear hip and relatable to the Gen iPhone, Troy may have jumped the shark with his latest clumsy post to his “official” Facebook page. It is pure self-indulgence and juvenile twaddle. For heaven’s sake – selfies and pictures of his dinner and squeeze? Brisbane restaurant reviews? Who the hell is his target audience? Is this what he means by “transparency “? What an absolute tosswomble.

  21. CookerWatch says:

    I have found a lot of links between Twonames, Fran, and the regulars at MyPlace.
    KP is very well known and linked as well.

    I am actually starting to think Troy is a ‘useful idiot’ in all this.

    Interesting times, no?

  22. Rotten Luck Willie says:

    There has been a call to change the subject or at least add another to the mix.
    Let me tell you what is exciting me at the moment.
    Tomorrow morning I hope to see Donald Jenius Trump as defendant in a criminal court.
    I am not suggesting that Trump should join the Abraham Lincoln, JFK club. No, no, no, not at all. Trump, I fervently hope, joins his own club of 1. The Jailed For a Very Long Time Ex Presents Club.
    Why, two reasons:
    1. Pure unadulterated pleasure giving spite on my part, and
    2. If elected Trump, egged on by his inner circle, would be the most dangerous man on earth. He will undo international treaties and conventions making world security and trade unstable. He will facilitate the rise of tyrant states, Russia, China, Nth Korea, Iran and the Solomon Islands (don’t laugh, the current SI PM would if he could).
    So, this new subject does have a local element to it, albeit indirectly, and for me, the pure pleasure of seeing Trump, and hopefully, his inner circle, dressed in orange prison jumpsuits.

    • The Magpie says:

      The Nest is primarily for local news that others won’t pass on, but that does not preclude looking at other wider issues – after all, The Nest has always featured the US-based cartoon gallery, but mainly for its humour rather than serious commentary. But the core will always be local, or social isses that drectly affect us (i.e the Voice to Parliament campaign).

    • Grumpy says:

      I’m not laughing, Willie. Sogavare is quite mad and hates Australia. His deal with the Chinese is scary. He intends to lease the island of Tulagi to them – one of the best deep-water ports in the South Pacific and a mere 40 minute flight by cruise missile to Laverack.

  23. Elusive Butterfly says:

    “Police investigate assault occasioning bodily harm on 170yo girl in Cranbrook.

    Queensland police appealing for help in an investigation into the assault of a teenage girl.”

    Caitlan Charles
    less than 2 min read
    April 15, 2024 – 9:24AM
    Townsville Bulletin

    Now that’s a local story worth following up Mr. Pie??

    • The Magpie says:

      Despite the fact that you’re not Elusive Butterfly, that’s a yuk yuk. And someone gunna be offended – wither a 170 yar old being called a girl,or a girl being called 170 years old.

  24. Hungry Wolf says:

    The facts remain that as much as you nitpickers are trying, you can’t find dirt on Troy, you poor souls. What a waste of time. I dare you to prove any allegations.

    • The Magpie says:

      You haven’t been paying attention have you? Dirt is your word, The ‘Pie’s is unexplained inconsistencies in his history.

    • Grumpy says:

      Hungry Puppy. Says he has tertiary degrees – later admits he does not. I strongly infers he was in SAS – he never even got close. Claims to be an astute and experienced businessman – is in fact a former bankrupt who left his creditors in the lurch. All proven.

    • Burnt Brows says:

      Hungry Wolf, if Birnbrauer shows evidence of University Degrees (not just ‘did some subjects’, never finished) then you may be partially correct. I would also like to see some evidence of something business related he actually achieved and that was a success. All I see is a lot of ‘grey’ mixed in with more than a splattering of excuses.

    • ziptied helmet says:

      Hungry Poof, the fact is, he has a clearly checkered past. The vagueness and inconsistencies around his history, and his refusal to show evidence of qualifications is just not a good look.

  25. The Magpie says:

    Courtesy Advisory:

    Since the volume and frequency of comments has markedly increased in the last few weeks, The ‘Pie advises he will be off-screen for a while attending to personal matters. (No, you rude. bastards, Afternoon Delight is but a fuzzy memory – dead birds don’t fall out of their nests … certainly not this nest, anyway.) But keep ‘em coming, all (maybe) will be published a little later this arvo.

    • Prince Rollmop says:

      Mal, with regards to your I.T issues, have you considered a Go Fund Me page? I’m not tech savvy so I can’t give any I.T advice, but in many ways your blog is a public service and in my opinion worthy of Go Fund Me assistance. To be honest, I don’t know anything about setting up a page or even if it is allowed, but it’s a thought. What do the other Nesters think??

      • The Magpie says:

        Understand where you’re coming from, Mopsy, but it’s more just an ageing equipment and software thing. And The ‘Pie has someone to sort things out when he gets a new set-up. Nice thought though, thanks.

  26. Grumpy says:

    Just as a matter of interest – does anyone know if The Great Pretender owns any real property in the shire – or anywhere else? His declaration of interests shall be interesting reading. What’s the bet he is the broken-arse conman he is rapidly proving himself to be?

    • The Magpie says:

      Lves with his mum is allwe’ve been told. Which, btw, probably means he is no actually a listed ratepayer.There’s one for irony corner.

  27. I am the Stig says:

    Great investigative work by the Magpie and some of the Nesters. Love it. It would seem that this guy Thompstain can’t hold down a job for very long and he can’t complete any of his higher education.

  28. The Magpie says:

    Just a random observation – this country owes John Howard a massive vote of appreciation.

    Love him or hate him, and plenty of reasons for both, Howard had the political will and guts to greatly reduce gun ownership and availability in Australia after the Port Arthur massacre.

    So imagine how much more devastating things would’ve been at Bondi Westfield if this deranged arsesole had a weapon other than a knife. If it happened in America, he would’ve had a whole Sly Stallone arsenal, and the damage would have been even more horrendous.

    And, yes, this is little comfort to survivors and the relatives of victims of this tragedy, and with the killer justifiably dead, the frustration of a one-off mental nutcase doing this damage adds to the frustration at all levels.

    But as a nation, there is the cold, cold comfort we should recognise how much safer, overall, that we are rather than places like America.

  29. Dopey Git says:

    Just saw Cowboys Ad on Facebook:

    Show your Defence or RSL service ID when purchasing a ticket at the Hutchinson Builders Centre or at the gate to take advantage of a special 2-for-1 offer for ANZAC Round.

    I wonder if TwoNames qualifies

  30. Prickster says:

    The resignation of Prins isn’t a victory for TwoNames, it’s the start of his first big test.

    Week 1 was a shambles: Poor advice to go with a “secret” ballot. This failed on 2 points. 1/ It runs against his election platform of transparency, and 2/ showed political naivety where you don’t take anything to a vote unless you know you’ll win. Well done TwoNames your loss is now recorded on permanent record.

    Recruitment of the CEO is the next big test. Election platform included key points of Transparency, Sale of Assets (North Yards/Lansdown), Improving TCC service delivery and Buy Local. Let’s see if it goes to an open process, using a Townsville recruitment company. The past few CEOs were recruited by Brisbane based (and foreign owned) recruiters with less than transparent processes.

    The next CEO must have the experience to turn around council (a big work force, lots of moving parts), be able to partner with the state government, knows how to attract investors to sell assets by working with the private sector, and get the city moving again. Prins fell short on many these points.

    One thing is certain, if TwoNames stuffs the selection of the CEO up he is gone, and 4 years will feel longer that the time he spent serving out his bankruptcy.

    He’ll need to take it slowly and carefully, although recent form suggests its not in his nature to be methodical.

    • Div10Dave says:

      “Election platform included key points of Transparency, Sale of Assets (North Yards/Lansdown), Improving TCC service delivery and Buy Local.“
      Could you point to the exact place where the mayoral candidate proposed to sell off the TCC property at Lansdown in Division 10. I missed that.

      • The Magpie says:

        Hazy memory only here (this whole shemozzle has that effect) but while TwoNames made a throwaway campaign line indicating a Lansdown sell-of, he has since walked it back somewhat, suggesting he wasn’t entirely opposed to the hub in the scrub.

        More problematical and likely blustery bullshit is the sell-off of the North Rail Yards. The ‘Pie understands from some contacts that that is exactly what Jenny hill tried to do over an extended period, but ran into the almost insurmountable twin road blocks of contaminated land and ludicrous heritage restrictions.

        • Div10Dave says:

          I should have added that TCC has a very recent (2 days ago ie. after the inauguration and after the ceo resignation) post on LinkedIn about Lansdown which says in part:

          The precinct is set to take Townsville to a greater tomorrow from a jobs, economic, and environmental perspective, bringing together innovative organisations passionate about driving positive change for our economy, community, and the environment.

          The project will generate significant jobs for the city, both during construction and in operation.

          To find out more visit: https://bit.ly/443im96“

        • Prickster says:

          Mentioned in a “since deleted” FB ramblings in early February. A wide-ranging spray on selling unnecessary council owned assets, including the broadside “Balancing of budgets is something a council led by Team Jenny Hill has little experience in”. Again, good luck to the new CEO, TCC is a career graveyard. Lansdown is a Mooney era purchase in 2001 and North Yards Team Hill in 2013.

          • Div10Dave says:

            The development of Lansdown has gone a long way past being a good or bad idea. State and Commonwealth funding is bringing significant infrastructure to the site guaranteeing that it will evolve into an industrial base. Water, electricity, gas, road, rail and port are all pointed at Lansdown and the federal Labor government’s recent announcements, and funding undertakings, about critical minerals, hydrogen, solar and wind power generation only strengthen that thrust. The state will connect CopperString to the grid through Lansdown. It is being suggested by some here that the whole thing should be privatised immediately. That begs the question would it be better that TCC remain as the coordinator of what is still a half-baked more or less wholly government funded development operation? That is a complex question that should not be dropped into the lap of the next CEO. It should be a whole of council decision to be taken ultimately by the people we have just elected, all 11 of them. The internal political dynamics will be fascinating.

          • The Magpie says:

            Generally agree with that view … ‘fascinating’ is an understatement. But one should be wary about claims … even the most believable of the proposed industries … QPM … hasn’t got all it money side of matters together yet … and a couple of others are only at the feasibility stage. Quinbrook bears closer scrutiny, too. And numbers are being thrown around with gay abandon (no tedious jokes please) and are fudged to fool the reader of ads like the big two-pager in last weekend’s Bulletin. 4,400 jobs created by $7.8billion (ok, if you say so) Project Green Poly sounds like polywaffle until you read again when it says ‘in and around Townsville’ during construction … a very flexible area open to arbitrary interpretation.

            And here’s an interesting wrinkle: all the council’s leasing agreements are ‘conditional’, which one takes to mean there are time mileposts on getting to various stages. If for some reason the new council takes a set against Lansdown,they could start ramping up the pressure on various companies to get their shit together pronto, or make fresh approval application … or bugger off. But as you say, it will be fascinating to see how the new council views Lansdown,and given the ratepayer investment already there, there better not be any thoughts of a fire sale.

    • Ducks Nuts says:

      Prickster, Twonames was also advocating buy local, only local. This is stupidly naive and shows his lack of business experience. Council has an obligation to be financially sustainable and many local organisations either don’t supply or can’t supply at competitive rates. This kind of promise is going to backfire pretty quickly with the small business community who voted for him, thinking they were going to get lucrative deals from council.

      • The Magpie says:

        Totally correct. But just as a matter of clarification for those not paying attention in class, The ‘Pie has criticised the the grasping LGAQ-inspired Local Buy scheme for its duplicity. The scheme, not so much sensible but more inevitable, was deliberately given an ambiguous name to make the punters think they, and their council members, were championing local businesses. It was anything but, and while The ‘Pie agrees fully with your reasoning, his objecion was the oily attempt to hoodwink punters yet again.

        • Ducks Nuts says:

          Local Buy is not buying local. It’s a pre approved panel of providers. Some of which should never be approved and are so dodgy no self respecting organisation would deal with them. However, many are perfectly legitimate and local governments do save money using combined purchasing power.

        • Not running for Mayor says:

          As well as making it harder for local business operators to supply councils Local Buy charges companies to be allowed to tender, and also clips the ticket of every contract it touches and adds those $ to LGAQ coffers. It is a scam pure and simple.

        • Prickster says:

          TCC purchasing outside Townsville over successive year (maybe decades) is a major contributor to the loss of capabilities in the town. There are many ways council can responsibility buy local without compromising quality and dollars. It starts with engagement with suppliers including those out of town to set up a long term presence in Townsville apart from having a PO Box. Not sure 2names will get this, especially when the bloke committed to transparency has deleted all of his election promises.

          • Ducks Nuts says:

            Prickster.. sometimes Meta does good things

            On his Facebook page, go to the About section
            Then find page transparency, select see all
            Then find adds from this page, then select go to ad library.
            Select Play on the video of choice.

          • The Magpie says:

            FFS, anything else you’d like while we’re here?

          • Ducks Nuts says:

            Well since you asked, I have a list

        • Damn tailings says:

          I asked about the buy local policy at a QLD Government contract tendering event in Palmer Street a few years back. I was told that “buy local” actually means buy in Queensland, so very misleading.

          A buy local Townsville concept sounds good but it gets complicated.
          Many Townsville businesses are franchises or resellers for national/international companies.
          The end result being that goods are quoted locally, then supplied via the Brisbane branch and the local dealer (who did all the legwork quoting) misses out on the sale.
          Unfortunately I know of this situation through experience.

          • The Magpie says:

            Nothing wrong with councils or businesses buying out of town after they’d been unsuccessful to source things locally at a reasonable price. And anecdotal evidence suggests that most businesses do it in that order. Council…well, that’s a moot point.

          • Not running for Mayor says:

            I would need to dig around to find one but some other councils apply a rating scale for being local. something like “local headquarters”, “nearby headquarters – as in neighbouring town”, “permanent local office with headquarters elsewhere” and “office elsewhere” with additional assessment points depending on how local the business is. It can and is being done. There are some councils which go as far as asking suppliers how many staff they have in the local area and give them bonus points for that.

          • Prickster says:

            Holdens are popular out of town purchases.

  31. The Magpie says:

    A Quip Around The Ears

    Introducing The Magpie’s AQATE Award.

    This coming weekend, The ‘Pie will introduce a new segment to the Nest, the AQATE Award, short for A Quip Around The Ears. This will honour the best sharp comment(s) noted throughout the week’s news. It can be any subject, just has to be sharp and funny. Readers are invited to send in their suggestions if they spy something particularly clever.

    As an example, this week’s AQATE Award goes to this bloke …

    … Federal Court Judge Michael Lee, in his Bruce Lehrmann judgement.

    In fact, as far was quotable lines go, Judge Lee was a cornucopia of caustic summations, but perhaps best the best put-down was this one:
    ‘Having escaped the lion’s den, Mr Lehrmann made the mistake of coming back for his hat.’

    Maybe not a Lee original, but the perfect occasion for such a factual conclusion in a cuttingly witty manner.

    • Achilles says:

      I liked his (old schoolboy) description of Lehrmann as a as a “dishonorable “cad” who raped Brittany Higgins and deliberately told lies.
      Who simply left her without any sense of decency or ensuring she had safe transportation to get to her home”.

      • The Magpie says:

        Yes, the wording said volumes about the judge’s own personality and background. Good on him.

        • Alfred E Neuman says:

          I watched the judgement from about the 10 minute mark to the end. Fascinating. While interested in the case to a point what kept me to the end was the Judge’s wonderful command of the English language, extensive vocabulary, and the detailed background explanation for each matter of evidence to be accepted, rejected, or somewhere in the middle and the consequences of that evidence.
          Dear ‘Pie, as a court reporter all this is probably old hat for you, but for me it was riveting.

          • The Magpie says:

            Your reaction is exactly why The ‘Pie loved his days in court. It was almost like an electric shock when a judge cut through all the seemingly banal verbiage and got straight to heart of a matter.

          • Jenny says:

            Somewhere on the ‘net I found that the story about escaping the lion’s den and stupidly going back to retrieve your hat is an African proverb, possibly from Somalia.

          • The Magpie says:

            Yep, as said, it wasn’t a Lee original been around forever, butwhat a perfect occasion to encapsulate a circumstance.

    • Grumpy says:

      Reading the judgment, I am more than ever before convinced that anyone south of Coolangatta or west of Thargomindah is not worth knowing.

  32. old tradesman says:

    Now that Dolan has been shafted on his bid to get the Toondah Harbour project green lighted, can he help Townsville get it’s Aquarium project under way. His Labor connections should be invaluable.

    • Kenny Kennett says:

      Entertainment and Convention centre would be good.

    • Strand Ghost says:

      Fix the Potholes around Town would be a great Start?

    • Itchy Balls says:

      And perhaps QNI. This town needs all the industry it can get to help fire up the economy.

      • I’m’a’faggot says:

        And maybe a dedicated pride week or month in Townsville where various activities take place. It would be beneficial to the local economy.

      • Jeff, Condon says:

        QNI doesn’t even have its own office in Australia. The address and phone number is another consultancy firm in Sth Qld. Overseas projects include a corrugated iron shed in the UK and and a failed proposed project on what looked like a bare industrial site in the US. They were two company claims I looked at randomly.

        The senior Australian director (read only director) has boutique whiskey distillery in Byron Bay.

        The only solid thing I could find on QNI Australia is that its Australian representative is a director on two solar panel installaton companies in the SE. There could be something positive about QNI, but I couldn’t find it.

      • Jenny says:

        Itchy, it will take a lot more than Labor connections to re-start QNI at Yabulu, especially if we are in for a period of LNP state government. The place has been closed for eight years. Like the similarly abandoned and derelict North Yards rail site in Flinders Street, demolition and rehabilitation will be at taxpayer expense and no time soon.

        • The Magpie says:

          Putting aside your political crystal balling, think you’ll find that the Yabulu plant has been in mothballed maintenance mode, and it was suggested a couple of years ago that it could be up and running again within a few months if Fatty Palmer got his way with various entities like the Port Authority bend to his demands. Which it sensibly didn’t.

          • Ducks Nuts says:

            Fatty Palmer has control of some shed space at the Port. He just leaves it in a mess and let’s it fall to pieces (mothballs), refusing to let other businesses use it. His workers who are paid to mothball QNI, have been down there babysitting it recently.

          • Jenny says:

            It has also been said that there’s $6 billion worth of cobalt in the tailings dam at Yabulu but I think they should throw in a harbour bridge with that. QNI Yabulu is about as “mothballed” as North Yards. It will never re-open.

  33. Mike Douglas says:

    Div10Dave . Lansdown years 1-3 $250 mil Townsville City Council budgets . Surely the new Council needs to access 1) how much debt is borrowed and interest rate costs 2) has the land been handed over to these Companies and what revenue Council receive ? . Regards LGAQ local buy let’s hope new Council looks at procurement process now J Hill LGAQ director has departed .

    • Div10Dave says:

      MD what do you mean by – “Lansdown years 1-3 $250 mil Townsville City Council budgets”?

      • Mike Douglas says:

        Div10Dave – Council budget 2022/23 $80 mil / 2023/24 $55.7 mil . Prins Ceo recently disclosed $55 mil blow out Haughton + Lansdown . Cost increases , water treatment plant , issues access Drive it , Lansdown Main roads entry , highway upgrades . Important in accessing a project is cost return on investment .

        • Div10Dave says:

          MD whatever $250m “budget” you are talking about is not money already, or about to be, spent by TCC at Lansdown. We already knew about the $80m for the Haughton pipeline (nothing to do with Lansdown) and I can imagine some millions for a water connection from the Haughton pipeline to Lansdown except that the state has said it will pay for this. TCC is spending something on a new internal road at the site but the Commonwealth is paying for intersection upgrades on the Flinders Highway. So none of the numbers add up to anywhere near $250m of ratepayers’ dime. Bring on the new transparent TCC. If Fran’s on board – she lives next door to Lansdown – and the Mayor really wants to know, together with a new CEO they should be able to open the books on the eco-industrial estate and let in a little sunshine.

          • Grumpy says:

            Divy Dave – your style is so familiar. Have you also had a name change?

          • Afterthought says:

            Not sure whether Div10Dave is Council but clearly no understanding the costs of civil works roads, pipes ( big pipes industrial needs ) for 22 sq kilometre 2,200 hectare site . You don’t put $55 mil + $80 mil in a Council budget then claim it’s not spent. Haughton stage 2 $185 mil state govt has blown out by $74.3 mil + recent blow outs which team Hill agreed for Council to pay

          • Div10Dave says:

            Afterthought more than a year ago we were told that infrastructure pipelines would be constructed at state and Commonwealth expense. TCC is not paying for this:

            “Construction continues at Lansdown precinct
            Date published: 7 February 2023

            Works at the Lansdown Eco-Industrial Precinct (LEIP) are set to continue, with Townsville City Council awarding the pipe supply tender to Iplex Pipelines Australia Pty Ltd.
            Infrastructure Services Committee Chairperson Kurt Rehbein said Council awarded the tender for the supply of approximately 16.25km of raw water pipeline as part of upcoming enabling infrastructure works.
            “Iplex Pipelines Australia demonstrated the best value for money proposition for the project and has experience in delivering large diameter pipe, with a proven track record locally for their work on the Haughton Pipeline Duplication project,” Cr Rehbein said.
            A second tender has also been released for the raw water pipeline install in preparation for works to start mid-2023.
            “The raw water pipeline project is part of enabling infrastructure works at the Lansdown site,” Cr Rehbein said.
            The raw water pipeline connects to the existing 900mm Ross River pipeline at a point near the junction of Haberecht Road, Mountview Drive and Major Creek Road, Majors Creek and finishes in the Lansdown precinct.
            Construction of the raw water pipeline to the Lansdown Eco-Industrial Precinct will allow early proponents access to raw water by December 2024.
            “These works compliment the Albanese Governments’ recent commitment to a hydrogen hub for North Queensland and supports Council’s vision to position Townsville as a leader in advanced manufacturing and as a hydrogen and renewable energy hub, creating significant jobs for the region,” Cr Rehbein said.
            “Each tender and milestone for the Lansdown project is significant toward our goal of growing Townsville and bringing us one step closer to becoming Northern Australia’s foremost eco-industrial precinct for advanced manufacturing, processing, technology and emerging industries.”

            The Lansdown Eco-Industrial Precinct is jointly funded by the Australian Government and Queensland Government in association with Townsville City Council.”

            Maybe you know how these monies are accounted for in the TCC Budget. But there is no way that TCC has spent $250m at Lansdown as was implied by Mike’s original post (“Lansdown years 1-3 $250 mil Townsville City Council budgets”).

  34. Strand Ghost says:

    If you wan’t to see the incompetence of the Last Council about how bad they have maintained our roads here in Townsville drive in the incoming lane between The West End Hotel on Ingham Rd. and Sturt St, that section is very dangerous and has been for awhile.

    • White Mouse says:

      You mean where they put in all the storm water covers and there is a big bump in the road at each? If there’s no oncoming traffic I move into the outbound lane to try and avoid them.

    • Dave Nth says:

      Ghost it’s everywhere trust me. Drove to Melbourne over the Christmas break and a bit of Victoria, Gregory Dev Rd, Carnarvon Hwy & Newell Hwy were a joke. Victoria’s roads are the worse at the moment, shame they had the best maintained roads in the country when I left in the 1990’s to find this place like a stray cat ultimately staying.

      Seems the solution is to do nothing and lower the speed limit with rough road signage.

  35. Jeff, Condon says:

    Phone playing up. Submitted comment re Lansdowne and referred to QNI. Had a brain fart and meant Quinbrook. I tried to send correction and ran out of battery. Now can’t find the comment. If its gone too bad. If its still there, can you fix it?

  36. Grumpy says:

    I see The Great Pretender’s latest Facebook post waxes enthusiastic about a confectionary shop he visited this morning. So enchanted was he by the sweeties on display he was late for the course he is attending at ratepayers’ expense. This man is a juvenile fool.

    • The Magpie says:

      Screen shot please, mate.

        • The Magpie says:

          ZH, link doesn’t work,seems it’s a friends only page.

          • ziptied helmet says:

            I can’t post a screenshot. but here’s the caption of his post.

            Today is a special day, one I will enjoy and take in for what it is, the last time I was here, it didn’t go as planned. This time I am blessed to serve my community and head to State Parliament as the 47th Mayor of Townsville, with 77 other elected Mayors from across Queensland.
            Yesterday, ended with a great wrap up to our training and a quiet beer. Thank you to LGAQ’s team for the support over the past few days, lessons learnt and giving me a greater understanding of the role I have been elected, it gives me confidence to go about my role, supported and with clear direction.
            As a teaser, I took a quick video of my visit to the New Farm Confectionary company in Newstead, where I grabbed my morning shot of caffeine or 3…. I nearly didn’t make it to the course on time, for obvious reasons, a wonderful experience to start my day.

          • Kenny Kennett says:

            Nope, I got it and I’m not a FB friend of his.

          • The Magpie says:

            Link sent in didn’t work.

          • Ducks Nuts says:

            It won’t work because he will have thrown a tantrum and blocked your Facebook account Magpie. Transparency an all that

          • The Magpie says:


    • Not running for Mayor says:

      I hate to be fair to Twofaces, but the post does say “almost late” so its not a reasonable attack Grumpy.

    • Prickster says:

      TwoNames needs to change whoever is giving him advice as the game has changed and now, they are playing in the big league.

      Maybe need to put in a way TwoNames will understand. You’re no longer playing at Illich Park you’re playing Queensland Country Bank Stadium. So step up, get professional, and remember things & people who got you there are not the things & people to keep you there.

      and Don’t fuck up, the city needs change we can’t keep going backwards thinking we are moving forward.

      • The Magpie says:

        Tell you what he desperately needs, and that’s a media relations professional, whose first task is to explain to TwoNames how in this new arena, NOTHING can ever remain a secret on social media, no matter what restriction you put in place. The bizarre sort of stuff for a new mayor only invite ridicule and general dismay.

        • Ducks Nuts says:

          He’s media relations “expert” is his squeeze. She’s behind the food review pages, the campaign pages, the epilepsy posts. They have tried some seriously questionable stuff.
          As the person running his Mayor page, because he’s said he’s keeping his team, is she now on council payroll?

          • The Magpie says:

            That’s why The ‘Pie used the term ‘professional’ instead a spurious ‘expert’. The last thing he needs is a media strategy based on pillow talk with a Karen.

            And just while we’re about it, is it in the LG regs about induction jollies that spouses/partners are included?

          • Ducks Nuts says:

            Been wondering myself if this is a ratepayer funded gourmet food tour for lovers.
            And is he claiming Turkish restaurants and confectionery stores as meal expenses? Because if so, I’d like to object. There’s a few potholes that could be spent on.

          • The Magpie says:

            When he reads this, Mayor TwoNames will undoubtedly enlighten us (probably via one of his many trolls) what the situation is. You know,transparency and all that. Or maybe he figures it’s none of. our business.

          • Prickster says:

            If the squeeze has been appointed if would be a breach of the act namely “councillor must not appoint a close associate of the councillor as a councillor advisor.” It would be a risky move for this Mayor to make that type of appointment.

            Again who the hell is advising this bloke.

          • Bullshit says:

            If he gets a meal allowance he can spend it on whatever he wants up to the limit. I’m more worried about whether he gets complimentary meals for posting an endorsement on his mayoral facebook.

          • Jenny says:

            Prickster, who said anyone was actually “employed” in the role?

          • Ducks Nuts says:

            Bullshit, is the meal allowance for one or two? Did we, the ratepayer, pay travel for two? Is he getting freebies from all the little cafes he and his squeeze visit and promote? What about the so-called second watch that is sold by a business run by his squeeze and promoted (yet not promoted) by the official Mayor page?

          • Bullshit says:

            Those are legitimate questions I was just saying if he has a meal allowance he’s entitled to spend it on caviar or pheasant under glass or whatever he wants.

          • The Magpie says:

            Correct, but isn’t the issue of rubbing the ratepayers’ nose it with an official visit looking like a jolly to Bali. It’s the behaviour which is, at best, poorly advised.

  37. Achilles says:

    Watching Richard Miles in his role as Defense Minister at the National Press club, spouting off about more mega buck investments in our defense budget.

    Why can’t Government departments ever seem to to manage spending in sensible ways, As the customer we should be the one calling the shots, not the contractor..

    ie, we wanted 6 nuke subs, so we published tenders and France, UK and USA all submitted compliant quotes. All with fairly nebulous delivery schedules. Any one of which could have gone pear shaped.

    With 3 compliant quotes why not award each tenderer 2 subs each, with a caveat that the second sub is solely depending on a fully compliant sub. All contracts are fixed price and fixed term on the first sub.

    BUT if anyone proactively surpasses the original designs, they may be awarded not only their anticipated sub, but also get one more from a less than impressive sub from one of the other contender.

    With this current deal, all our eggs in one basket, with a less than stable contender. There have been plenty of murmurs already regarding delays and even not handing over the “drivers manual”.

    • The Magpie says:

      A nightmare scenario.

      • Achilles says:

        Which one? or all of the options?

        • Bob Roberts says:

          I think there are possibly advantages to having one design.

          • Achilles says:

            I agree Rob, my concern is having only one supplier on a ten year programme especially this one, the US political system is fragile and almost impossible to plan for.

            I have spent most of my career globally on major multi-million and a few billion projects. Even the largest were of 4 year duration and the number of changes due mainly to advances in technology were a valid but contentious issue. I dread to think of being a Project of Contracts Manager on a 10 year high-tech high-security project.

            Whereas the Brits and Frogs are far more stable and reliable, they don’t have the potential for a lunatic taking over the helm of the subs!.

    • Jeff, Condon says:

      Something like tendèring for a delivery contract to a mdium sized business, ecxcept a billion times more complicated and requiring unimaginable national security caveats.

      • Achilles says:

        I agree, but that’s their job, if they can’t manage those hurdles, then they should not be in the positions they hold.

        • Puss in Boots says:

          The fact is we have very stupid that have gravitated to the highest levels ( stupid people naturally hire stupid people – like themselves). In the end nothing works anymore, nothing gets done, no one knows what’s gone wrong). The submarine project is notable because of the loss of billions of dollars in one fault swoop. Let’s face it, a child would have made more competent decisions.

  38. Jeff, Condon says:

    I just have days that are worse than others. Lol.

    I’ve done more digging around on this Quinbrook mob. Keep going around in circles with all threads going back to the same place with nothing substantiated.

    Should set Twonames onto them and he would sniff out if there’s a con. Like settin a thief to catch a thief. Not that I am suggesting he is a thief.

    They have a listed address in Eagle st Bris. Rang the number and diverted to a free 101 answering service. WTF?

    On the other side, Origin Energy report they are involved with them. Trade magazines over the last few days say that Quinbrook is about to begin construction of a giant battery storage facility in Brenwood.

    Not that it’s any guarantee of credibility, but the State Rabble likes them.

    If it is a credible business, there maybe hope for Lansdowne.

  39. Rotten Luck Willie says:

    Labor, my way or the highway. Rather than include and consider LNP input to the youth justice select committee easier for labor to dissolve the committee.

    Fucking brilliant Miles of Smiles. Aaron (Who) Harpic, what have you got planned come end of October?

    Meanwhile, the police helicopter, yes, that one considered unnecessary by the Labor Puddleduck, is in the air, over my part of town, day on and day off, low and slow, and it aint counting geraniums.


    • Eye in the sky says:

      Was the short-term leased helicopter towing a “VOTE ALP” banner that you could see?

      • The Magpie says:


      • The Sheriff says:

        The police helicopter, although useful, doesn’t do the job of feet on the ground. We need more cops on the beat in Townsville, and we need a permanent sub-group of trained officers who specialise in youth crime. The same could be said for Alice Springs, Karatha, and other areas with an explosion in youth crime. The problem with policing numbers is that there are more police quitting than being recruited. It’s a job that is underpaid and under resourced and it simply isn’t a job of choice anymore. There should be an increase in their remuneration including yearly retention payments and a higher payscale for working in regional areas.

        • Not running for Mayor says:

          Talking around the smoko table this morning and someone mentioned that they have not seen a police motorcycle for a long time. You have to wonder if they have been ordered off the road due the risk of “incidents” with kiddy crims, Has anyone else seen them around lately?

          • The Magpie says:

            you generally don';t see them until it’s too late.

          • Puss in Boots says:

            Motorcycle / highway patrol cops are only useful for harassing mothers taking their children to school/ going to work and slamming them with fines.

            As crime rises in townsville it only brings MORE taxation units in human form or robots on the highway.

          • Joaney says:

            Saw one yesterday near Kalynda turnoff

          • Bullshit says:

            Safer all round to use a car unless there’s a specific need for a bike.

          • Motorist says:

            The Police once patrolled some bicycle ways on trail bikes, especially the Upper Ross, but I have not seen them for years.

          • Mad Jack says:

            Motorcycles are dangerous!

            Far safer to equip the police with PURSUIT TRICYCLE!
            You know the pursuit tricycle. Same as used by Australia Post but with a blue flashing light and siren attached.

          • Achilles says:

            Probably taken off the road for safety reasons; too many potholes!

          • The Magpie says:

          • Strand Ghost says:

            Seen a Police motorcycle in Flinders St. East Yesterday!

  40. Jeff, Condon says:

    RIP Dr Mark Bartsch. I can’t think of a better accolade than he was a good man.

    • Not running for Mayor says:

      Would be interesting to see a copy of the interim report from this “bipartisan” committee, along with a minority report from the LNP members to see which group is actually playing politics here.

      • The Magpie says:

        No need for a report … they both are. That glib, meaningless statement “playing politics” simply means ‘he doesn’t agree with me’.

  41. Elusive Butterfly says:

    From the TCC website, Mr. Pie.

    Mayor Troy Thompson professes to be a man of the community, for the community, having successfully run as an independent in the 2024 local Council elections, against Jenny Hill, who held the seat of Mayor of Townsville from 2012-2024.

    Born in Perth, Western Australia, Cr Thompson and his family, father Keith “Butch” – passed, mother Janet, brothers Adam, Shane “Bear” – passed and Jason followed the family from Perth, Adelaide, Melbourne to Townsville, as his father was posted with the Australian Army. Janet, Adam, Troy and Jason and their families are still residents of Townsville.

    Cr Thompson went to Vincent Primary from 1978, then on to Kirwan Primary 1979-1983, finishing his schooling at Kirwan High School in 1988, playing rugby league for Centrals ASA, and cycling for Rising Sun Amateur Wheelers, back in the day. A long-time local, he moved to mainland Europe through circumstance, he had a 5-year stint in Germany as a Commercial Manager for Supply chain company Avetta from 2011-2015 looking after the EMEA region, then he moved back to Brisbane to take up a role of Global CEO in 2015. Cr Thompson was Chairman of the Aitkenvale Sporting Association, now known as Community ASA. He loves sport in general, loves being a passionate Queensland supporter, and enjoys time out with his partner Michelle and family. Cr Thompson has 2 children, Ashleigh and Jordan.”

    Quite strange…no mention of uni degrees or Army service etc. etc.?

    • Not running for Mayor says:

      3rd person present: professes

      1. claim that one has (a quality or feeling), especially when this is not the case.

      • Prickster says:

        Good to see TCC has work experience kids back at Walker St.

        Although you’d expect the Mayor’s profile to be the best not the worst.

        Other TCC profiles have better content, better structure and even better formatting.

      • Bullshit says:

        “The Nutty Professor”

    • Ducks Nuts says:

      Or iPro

    • Ducks Nuts says:

      His LinkedIn said
      Avetta 2011 -2015
      IPro 2015- 2018

      I know these are minor details… but still

    • Cluden Axe says:

      Who the hell wrote that piece of tripe? You’d hope not one of the TCC Communications team. It reads like a primary student’s essay.

      – passed !!!

    • Dis Troy says:

      My guess is he got the dead relatives idea from Jeff’s showstopper in here the other day. And the Two Watches idea obviously came from the Magpie as well. So it’s not going to be a question of who’s supplying Twonames with advice, but rather what he’s going to do with it when he gets it.

      I was checking out the Avetta website just now. (Still trying to work out what Twonames actually does for a living.) Scrolled through a great deal of blither, then came upon this mantra: Taking Ideas to Concepts.

      Pretty sure Twonames will be able to downgrade any good Idea that comes his way into a very bad Concept, very quickly. For instance, Twonames is a spade name for a spade, but Two Watches was developed by Twonames into One Watch and something that only looks like it’s a Watch, but isn’t a watch, though it does have Twonames, one of which is MC2 and the other is Tron.
      And Jeff’s dead relly idea got coiffed up into Two dead rellies, each of whom has Twonames and a qualification to boot, —passed.

      Those mayoral restaurant reviews? I feel sorry for the possibly good businesses that’ve been given the once over by a Twonames Concept conversion. Who’s liable for defamation if he crosses the line?

  42. Turd Burner says:

    The three useless and incompetent state ALP members, Harpic, Messagebank and Private Cupcake Stewart are slow burning turds. Not long before they fizzle out and are thrown to the kerb!

  43. MaggieLover says:

    The Townsville Bulletin is for readers who spot “The Saint,” rock out at gigs in The Stadium, and then use the paper to rate the police helicopter’s aerial manoeuvers, awarding bonus points for style and finesse.

  44. Turd Burner says:

    Urban dictionary defn. of Turd Burner, aka the three local ALP State members:

    ‘An individual too preoccupied with trivial concerns to make any meaningful contribution to anything of substance or value’.

  45. The Magpie says:


    The word everyone is looking for CENSORSHIP.

    I’ll bet he does, but this sheer desperate lunacy further exposes Harpic’s total unfitness for office. Well, certainly in a democracy.
    And some small comfort for the city … at least we’ve got one sane Thompson standing up for us in Phillip ‘OneName’ Thompson, federal MP for Herbert.

  46. Avogadro's Number says:

    There have been a number of comments this week (and in previous weeks) in relation to potholes around town and the lack of attention to same. To some it may seem a trivial matter, but it is a visible and sometimes bone-shaking indicator that looking after the roads in a city the size of Townsville is no small task. So – Do what I do: Report it to council via the TCC website. Don’t just have a grumble about the problem. If I spot (or hit) a pothole, I jump on the TCC website – using the “Report a Problem” option, advise the location, size of the pothole (dinner plate size is a useful description), and respectfully ask that the TCC road maintenance folks be advised. And – It Works: I commend the road crews for their usually prompt attention – these are the workers who keep things running. The workers can’t fix it if they don’t know about it..

  47. JustJenny says:

    It would seem TwoNames has kept his promise, head down, bum up.
    Last week; Inauguration, !2 monthly Deputy, Standing Committees to the floor, Resignation of CEO, Ban lifted for Parliamentary visit.
    This Week: LGAQ Directors training, Meeting with Premier and Opposition, 77 Mayors, Resignation of CFO and announcement that a Locum CEO will be jetted in for 0-3 months. The new CEO could be elected within 6-12 weeks.
    TwoNames hasn’t buggered around much. Councillor tours, team building and hide and seek with the media, seems he is doing what people expect. What will Friday bring?
    Its been entertaining to say the least, I’m hearing they will slash 200-300 jobs, then look to remove, reformat employee agreements against the 8 unions, thats a lot of unions who determine the payroll. 20% over 3 years, unsustainable in the real world, local, state and federal government in this conutry have a lot to answer for, thats for sure.
    Pie, I’d like to see more on Harper, the apology from TwoNames and how the city can go forward with these two clashing. Hope Fran is ready and waiting, she needs to school our Mayor in how to sort them out, honesty, maybe……

    • The Magpie says:

      What apology from TwoNames?

      And where have you been ‘hearing’ all this fanciful stuff? Pillow on the left side or the right side of the bed.

      • Prickster says:

        Locum CEO = Ray Burton

        • The Magpie says:

          Let’s hope.

          • Prickster says:

            There is a cunning plan unfolding that will see Twonames caught a truly machiavellian trap by some who’ve been playing the long game. How ambition and ego can be so easily led.

          • The Magpie says:

            Is it too early start book on who will stand if TwoNames falls within a year? (And sorry, but no, not here, The ‘Pie declines all those flattering suggestions.) heh heh heh.

          • Alahazbin says:

            Now here is a name just told to me by a current TCC worker. James Ashby. Apparently it is rumoured that he will be the next CEO. FFS, NO!

          • The Magpie says:

            A con man mayor and a paedophile CEO … that’s about Townsville’s speed.

    • Ducks Nuts says:

      CEOs aren’t elected.
      Getting a quality CEO in 6-12 weeks will.be interesting. Getting a mediocre one quite possible.
      slash 200-300 jobs, then look to remove, reformat employee agreements against the 8 unions – so much stupid in this statement it hurts my head

      • The Magpie says:

        Let’s go back to Doug Kingston suggestion:

        Fran O’Callaghan as CEO.

        • Ducks Nuts says:

          We’ll all be rooned,” said Hanrahan,
          “Before the year is out.”

        • Prince Rollmop says:

          Fran as CEO is good in theory, however the role, if done correctly, is full on. I’m not sure that Fran’s health would be up to it. Plus she is a straight forward forensic accountant and that isn’t highly regarded in Council as senior management prefer to fluff up the books and hide the real issues. Would Fran be supported in an open book framework? I highly doubt it.

          Fran is smart and financially savvy, however I don’t believe that she would have Councillor and executive management support for such an approach.

        • Charlie Wulguru says:

          Pie, Why can’t we reply to that load of Horse Shit that ‘Alah’ has written regarding future CEO. Next it will be Druggie Hayes or Big Bazza for CEO.

          • The Magpie says:

            Good question, why can’t you? Did something not get published? As far as The ‘Pie knows, you can.

      • Alahazbin says:

        Ducky, Is it still whoever the CMMFEU or AWU want? Or will they lose their power.

        • Ducks Nuts says:

          Is who still whomever they want?
          Also CFMEU and AWU have minimal power in council as they have had dwindling membership for years. This isn’t a good thing. The award pay and conditions on offer have been kept low by Stacey Coburn, Adele Young and Prins during EBA negotiations and it isn’t competitive. It means only those dedicated to serving the community or those too useless to get jobs elsewhere apply for jobs at council.

    • Jeff, Condon says:

      Honesty? From a politician? They all follow Lenin’s words, “Truth is a valuable commodity. It should be used sparingly.”

  48. Prince Rollmop says:

    Gutting the workforce by 200 to 300 you say? That will certainly help Twonames win the popularity vote. Although he can’t cut numbers, he can only recommend to the CEO that the CEO cut numbers. It will certainly reflect on Prins and his legacy of the past 3 years. Either Prins had the numbers correct, or he didn’t. Time will tell.

    • The Magpie says:

      And if he thinks he can btell Ray Burton what to do, if Ray Burton thinks it’s not a good or feasible idea, TwoNames won’t know what to do … like Jenny did.

  49. People’s Choice Awards says:

    I’d just like to give a Citizen Journalists Award to:

    Ducks Nuts

    The other day he pointed out how Meta does good things by keeping TwoNames campaign ads, even though he wiped the rest of his account. It’s actually a bit embarrassing what he went out and spent money paying for ads on. Including his spat with the Bully.

    Now waiting for TwoNames to trash his whole account again, and start over from scratch, once he realises that his userId isn’t actually his page name. And that it really is hard to erase the inter webs.

  50. Burnt Brows says:

    It has been mentioned that Birnbrauer Thompson is not a property owner. So we have a Mayor who does not pay Rates, influencing decisions affecting Rate Payers and getting a $200k+ salary funded by those Rate Payers. Aside from the magician’s act of the disappearing university degrees and history of failed business ventures, what could possibly go wrong?

  51. Achilles says:

    Interesting to see that Tim Ayres dept Trade Minister is in Malaysia and Singapore to boost ties. Especially so as PM Lee is moving on and if Anwar has his way Malaysia will become more like Iran or Afghanistan.

    Far better than sending the dud Trade Minister Don Farrell, who was laughed out of trade deals with the EU, and looked like he was sloshed on a recent trade visit to China.

    DFAT teams shudder when advised Don is on a trade visit to their respective location.

  52. NotJenny says:

    Traps may be laid, but many of us thought media would get to him in Brisbane, and nothing. Is it a storm in a teacup? Lots of media coming out with TCC, statements, events, seems he’s going about business while many look to bring him down. Doesn’t seem overly worried. I think he’ll remain quiet, smile for the camera and wait on the support of the new CEO to come through.

    • The Magpie says:

      You sound such a happy couple.

      But when you speak of media releases – do you mean like this one, which TwoNames Thompson had absolutely zero to do with … but is happy to take credit for?


      If you read through all the stock-standard usual pillow plumping and mutual fluffing of each other, you may get the impression makes that all his tough-talk blather about TEL is ‘now in the past,I will not speak of it again, it’s none of your business,anyway.’

      • Achilles says:

        Probably awarded because the Great Barrier Reef just happens to be close by?

      • Toy Thompstain says:

        There was a huge amount of ‘wank speech’ in that presser. And talk about war and peace, what an extremely long article. Troy is settling into his role comfortably though, absorbing the accolades and being proud of the work that others have done. And the TEL ladies will be ecstatic about the recognition they received also, there will be wet patches everywhere!

    • The Magpie says:

      And Notjenny, are you suggesting because the Brisbane media didn’t show any interest when he was down there, that we here in Townsville should just forget all about wanting some answers. If brisbane media don’t care (at the moment, have patience), then why should we?

      You fuckin’ wish, girly.(Or perhaps you’re one of Schwarzenegger’s ‘girly-men?

      • Prickster says:

        The new CEO is going to be one of the biggest problems for Twonames who has fallen for the old trope of “help and assistance” without taking time to think “is there another bigger game at play here?????”

        It’s a trap for young players not to dig deeper looking for long held alliances, scandals in current/previous jobs and how a mayor can be used by a local government exec as a steppingstones for their own personal gain.

        The deal on the new CEO is all but done, a few boxes to tick and sham processes to go through. All things even people like Jenny Hill fell for, yet this bloke who’s been in the game for 5 seconds thinks he’s mastered it. Well lets just see.

  53. Achilles says:

    I was helping my grandson with some historical articles for an essay he’s writing about famous writers and artists in the Middle Ages who often used pseudonyms and came across a word from the 17th century that suits Mayor Twonames perfectly its, polyonymous.


    Then we can abbreviate it to Polly as in parrot, or Galah et al!.

  54. Elusive Butterfly says:

    Mr. Pie, hopefully the Brisbane media will start focusing on David Crisafulli and his team of used car salesmen. Although they claim to have policies regarding kiddie crime and policing shortages, they aren’t showing us any tangible and robust plans. They are Easter eggs – crack them open and there is nothing inside.

    • The Magpie says:

      So you say, let’s hope your wrong.

      But The ‘Pie repeats what he has said several times now … David Crisafulli will certainly have to release platforms on various issues before October, but he has no reason to say anything just yet. He is following the centuries-old wisdom of General Sun Tzu (and later Napoleon):‘Never interrupt your enemy when he’s making a mistake.’. Everything any Labor person is saying right now is a mistake.

    • Alahazbin says:

      Ohh Butterflog, it wouldn’t be a week in the nest without an anti Crisafulli/LNP comment from you. You’re going to hate October when the LNP give Magpie Miles and his team of ninnies the boot from office. Start taking medication now oh winged one.

      • The Magpie says:



        • Prince Rollmop says:

          Yes magpie Miles is a bit of an unfortunate nickname. It relates to our idiot premier who visited that family on the Gold Coast who have just had their pet magpie returned. Molly the magpie or something like that. I’m sure our local crap newspapers have been reporting on it.

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