Why this blog exists...

The Magpie

Saturday, January 20th, 2024   |   197 comments

When Shimmering Dreams Of Dazzling Genius Turn Out To Be Dumb Brain Farts

The Flinders Lane catastrophe is being partially demolished and maybe you can only guess what’s coming next … in fact, you’ll have to guess because according to a spokesman for the lane’s business partner Townsville Council (that’s you and me, folks), they haven’t a clue what is planned.

Seems it’s the same sort of planning genius that continues to affect the proposed redevelopment  of the old Dimmey’s site across the road.  A classic case of Mayor Mullet projecting her own sins onto others.

Another candidate for the mayoralty throws his soiled One Notion cap into the ring ..,.,

Premier Smiley makes it clear … our three state MPs had bugger all to do with the new Polair chopper for our skies.

Donald Trump’s lawyer advises President Biden how to solve a major problem.

You can support the weekly Nest with a contribution to help meet running costs. (We could do with it around now.) The appropriate button is at the end of the blog.

FFS, What Now, Woman!?!

Are we about to see a classic good money after bad scenario?  Question is, is it our money? These pics were taking the week.

Screen Shot 2024-01-20 at 5.21.57 pm

In marked contrast to the opening less than three years ago.

Flinders Lane City Arcade Screen Shot 2022-01-22 at 10.34.53 am

They built it, but they didn’t come.

It remains a mystery how a successful (and likeable) businessman like Martin Locke could get tangled up in something like this.  As The ‘Pie understands from contacts, the deal is apparently that Martin owns the two levels of shops on the right hand side of the photo,  and the council (i.e. us) own the seating and laneway area – that’s the bit now being torn up.

For those who don’t frequent the lively comments section of the Nest during the week,  we enjoy the contributions of the chief Jenny apologist (anon of course but calls himself named Spielcheque) who posts regularly on Nest comments. But before you decide to go all boofhead as usual and again claim – without explanation – that we don’t lesser folk don’t understand the partnership between Locke and TCC, answer this, old chum: if the TCC is just some sort of just a supportive partner is all this (handy claim since the TCC hasn’t declared how much ratepayer dough madam mayor has ploughed into this debacle, no doubt cos it’s CinC.)  why this sign?

Screen Shot 2024-01-20 at 5.22.13 pm

In fact, a curious Nest reader did just that, rang the council seeking more detail. The conversation was a Townsville Council classic.

Magpie mate: So what’s the go, why is Flinders Lane being gutted?

TCC spokesman:  What? Haven’t a clue. I thought Flinders Lane was only recently built. I’ll see if I can get some more info for you.

After a short while, conversation resumed.

TCC spokesman: Seems there is demolition work going on.

MM: I know that…  polite pause … .that’s why I’m calling.

TCC spokesman: Well, once the demolition work is finished, there will be some construction work going on.

MM: Construction of what?

TCC spokesman: Look, I really don’t know what’s planned. But I think they might be going to build more shops.

MM ends the call.

Unfortunately, MM is a polite sort of chap,  so didn’t ask why the fuck there was a sign suggesting any one curious about what’s happening with their ratepayer money should ring a junior deadhead at the council. But more shops? The ones that are in the initial development have all bar one remained solidly empty since built, so Mayor Mullet’s financial genius tells her that more shops are the answer. In the CBD.

But it seems the mayor is completely inconsistent on the CBD revitalisation. Jenny Hill and her planning department need a reality check on their processes and behaviour.

Take the refurbishing of the Dimmeys building, whose ground floor facing onto Flinders Street has been shuttered and derelict for the past 15 years, a public eyesore. And while Mayor Mullet makes a big show of railing against the property owners – the billionaire  Chemist Warehouse people, who have a thriving store on the Sturt Street level – she is far from transparent about the role she has played in making our downtown area an embarrassment of graffiti and For Lease signs. This story by the ABC last March is a prime example.

Screen Shot 2024-01-20 at 8.11.56 pm

The local business community is concerned (read pissed off) with the reported and unexplained off-hand rudeness and arrogant attitude of the TCC planning department who have refused four requests for meetings by the Dimmeys site management in the past 9 months. No reasons for the no speak policy have been forthcoming publicly.  All planning approvals were expected to finalised by the middle of last year, but it seems road blocks have been thrown up. At last report, the owners , who have to spend $2million of the overall $8million refurbishment on fire service upgrades, are out-of-pocket $800,000 because of Townsville Council and Queensland Fire Service delays and red tape.

The Townsville Bulletin has been dozing along as usual on this, presumably because they haven’t found a way to involve a sick kiddy or a cute toddler into the story.

But the dire aspect of the situation confronting CBD business owners, who desperately need the Dimmey’s hub reactivated,  is of no concern to Mayor Mullet. She and her and her deputy dawg Frothy Molachino have grandstanded in council that ‘we won’t be pushed around by national companies’, posturing tough for a local voting audience. It’s a bit rich that our Walker Street bully-in-chief lectures others on ‘pushing varound’, But ‘not being pushed around’ is one thing, but it’s a different matter entirely to inexplicably stonewall talks on any pathway ahead, that’s just the arrogance of a woman and a council used to getting their own unchallenged way.

And if you’ve seen the following pic before, you’ll be seeing again a few times, The Magpie will be running it right up to the end of March.

Jenny elect final Screen Shot 2024-01-01 at 11.39.14 am

And As If We Don’t Have Enough Problems With The Current Incumbent

The Magpie
14,359 approved

Nothing like the periodic Gravy Train Lotto – some call them elections – to attract all the grifters and demimonde dwellers out of the woodwork.

So lo and behold, we have another faux ‘independent’ throwing his soiled One Notion cap into the mayoral ring. But the big question is, is this bloke our modest latest c Townsville’s modest version of disgraced US fabulist and CONgressman George Santos. (He even looks a bit like him).

Meet previously disendorsed One Notion (not a typo) Thuringowa candidate Troy Joseph Birnbrauer who now goes by the name Troy Thompson. He is apparently an ‘independent’ candidate (just like Jenny Hill is) and his stirring ‘well, duh, you don’t say’ slogan “If nothing changes, nothing changes” says exactly that – nothing. But as always, it is what he doesn’t say that is far more interesting. Like this.

It was trumpeted that he reluctantly pulled out for ‘personal reasons’ but even that turned out to be a lie, he was kicked out for … lying. And to the woman he said he supported and admired, Pauline Hanson.

Pauline Hanson’s One Nation Thuringowa candidate Troy Thompson had been on the hustings for the party for weeks in the marginal Labor-held seat, and had been tipped as a frontrunner, when he suddenly pulled out of the race on September 22 citing “personal reasons”.
The Townsville Bulletin can reveal Mr Thompson, according to leaked documents, had been disendorsed by the party following an executive meeting two days prior.
The party reasoned it was because he had failed to disclose his previous legal name and that he failed to disclose his directorship in a company that went insolvent in 2017.
(The Bulletin) can that Mr Thompson, under his previous name Troy Joseph Birnbrauer, faced Southport Magistrates Court between 2017 and 2018.
It’s understood the party moved to disendorse Mr Thompson over fears the skeletons in his closet could emerge and haunt the party.

Perhaps Mr Thompson has been emboldened by the 45% polling he was enjoying in Thuringowa when he was suddenly turfed out, and he somehow supposes that will translate into viable support for a tilt at local government.

To which The Magpie can only say ‘the very best of luck to you, Mr Thompson’ – a statement, Mr Thompson, I’m sure you will  understand is a lie.

Of course,Mayor Mullet welcomes the occasional self-seeking fruitcake to split any opposition vote.

Premier Smiley Miles Makes It Clear- Our Three Drones Had NOTHING To Do With Getting The New Townsville Police Helicopter.

Screen Shot 2024-01-20 at 9.17.37 pm

Playing catch-up, our newly minted premier infested Townsville for a couple days during the week, to make the ‘better late than never’  announcement of the new police helicopter for Townsville’s wallopers.  It’s something the ratepayers have been begging for for years, and all three of our local MPs – but especially the lying self promoter Aaron Harper – all jumped aboard this aerial bandwagon.

But then the government dropped this media release into newsrooms, which contained this bit of information in the segment ‘Quotes that can be attributed to the Premier.’

“When Queensland Police requested POLAIR capabilities in North Queensland, I asked then to make a submission and we funded it. 

“It was literally the first funding decision we made after we were sworn in.

“Now it’s in the air and we are buying a permanent helicopter for Townsville. It can get anywhere in Townsville in just 7 minutes.

So it was the coppers who asked for and got the egg-beater that Palaszczuk had so long refused us because of the cowardly party acquiescence of our local MPs. And while the three blind mice tellingly did not take any credit for the new crime fighting weapon, they all had their predictable lying comments elsewhere. However, not one single other person, not the premier or the senior police officers quoted in the release, had one single word to say about Harper, Stewart or Walker.

And It Would Be A Magpie’s Nest With Our Regular Swoop On The Ninnies At The Bulletin

The ‘Pie could fill a whole blog with the idiocies this week, but he will restrict himself to a couple snippets. Saturday’s front page…

Screen Shot 2024-01-20 at 9.24.29 am

Not sure you are going to believe this, but somehow,  iditor Gas Carvey figured the best way to sell the weekend paper was a front page story about an interview with the father(who can’t be named) of two girls (who can’t be named) who were kidnapped ten years ago from their Townsville primary school (which can’t be named) by their mother (who also can’t be named).  But six years ago, the girls were located and returned to their father, their mother was jailed, and the father talked about how the girls are getting on now.

Screen Shot 2024-01-20 at 9.48.33 pm   We were treated to a picture of the monster mum … but it was pixilated because she can’t be named, and we also got a picture of the deserted main street of Camooweal, where the trio stayed for a while on their hide and seek journey.  So all we know from this  is that they’re doing OK, are normal teenagers, but we don’t know what they look like or where they are, but the father says after their ordeal he just wants a normal life for them. So he talked to a newspaper.

Now all this may just be run of the mill crapola we expect from this rapidly disintegrating rag, but have another look at that front page. Top left, you might have missed it.

Screen Shot 2024-01-20 at 9.24.59 am

Somehow, the very real prospect of a cyclone, which has been slathered over all media for the previous 24 hours runs a very distant second the aforementioned pointless saga. And even then, further questions are raised by a paper staffed by those perhaps not familiar with either cyclones or the ‘oh, bugger, another one, really, oh well, better get ready’ attitude of the average Townsvillean. And linking the the words Keep Calm with a picture of our disaster manager is the very essence of cognitive dissonance. Not to mention the condescension and blunt rudeness with which the phrase ‘keep calm’ is generally regarded … but it must be a mayoral thing … one such goof further down the coast told ABC viewers in his area ‘not to panic’.  Rude prick.  What’s wrong with ‘You’ve all seen this before, you know what to do. Don’t forget to stock up, keep the kids near, and good luck’.

It has always been accepted at all levels of English that telling someone or a group to ‘stay calm’ is both patronising and insulting. The clear inference is that we’re about to lose our wick. But especially so when it is quoting the very person unlikely to make anyone stay calm. And even more so in a paper run by blow-ins, many of whom have never experienced anything stronger than a hot and moist gust of wind up their trouser leg from a council media release.

But all this led to a masterstroke of bad timing from the iditor of the Astonisher. Lazily lifting chunks from the two-page real estate spread in the same edition, about the alleged boom in seaside living along the north Queensland coast, iditor Gas Carvey  (or the advertising manager) penned this little sales booster.

Screen Shot 2024-01-20 at 9.34.48 am

Somehow, all this despite cyclone reports in her own paper suggesting ‘nail it down’ would be more appropriate than ‘live it up’ .  FFS, it’s  called a NEWSpaper, Gas Girl.

Some newbies who have happily bought a beachside bungalow at Bushland Beach may next week find it’s more a case of ‘live it up, up and away’ when they suddenly wake to discover they are now the proud owners of an extensively renovated donga located on the outskirts of Charters Towers.

The Magpie has totally unreliable information that Jenny Hill told a colleague ‘It’s my job to wreck Townsville, I don’t need no friggin’ cyclone to help. Now, where have you jokers hidden the dam gates remote?” 

Bedfellows, Strange, Dept of:

Undertaking the disheartening  task  of reading the Bulletin this weekend – to save you, dear reader,  a throbbing temple and clenched fist – this caught The ‘Pie’s eye.

Screen Shot 2024-01-20 at 10.03.36 am

Now while Nikki Osborne is a fine writer and bloody damn laugh-out-loud-funny, the old bird’s beady eye was drawn to this.


Screen Shot 2024-01-20 at 10.03.14 am

Laura Chalmers? Where’s Bettina gone? And when? The Magpie’s old laugh a minute chum (when Bettina Warburton was Bettina Giardina, the quip a minute, light hearted banteresse of the old Ogden Street newsroom)  has ‘edited (read: cut and pasted) this girlie-orientated weekend magazine for years.  No answer to that,  but The ‘Pie was curious about Ms Chalmers, because he was certain she wasn’t a local. And sure enough, she is a Courier based journo,  doing her editing rom Brissy, so this looks like another downgrade of the local Astonisher staff.

BUT WAIT, the more interesting thing The ‘Pie discovered is that this Laura Chalmers is the wife of our Federal treasurer, Jim Chalmers.

But this is no favour-seeking appointment, Ms Chalmers has independently made her chops as a journo well before her husband  grabbed the national pursestrings. But what The ‘Pie finds surprising is that the wife of a Labor luminary was hired by Rupert Murdoch, political kingmaker who is a Dutton aficionado and trenchant Albo denier.

Anyway, even if Ms Chalmers suddenly lost her professional aplomb and started boosting hubby’s chums, not to worry, probably no one will notice, the magazine remains its well established anodyne self.

It’s Always Dangerous To Start Giving people Ideas

Trump’s lawyer walked into the swinging door of a judge’s question about presidential immunity.  In light of the Trump’s shill declaring that a president cannot be held responsible even for criminal acts while in office, the judge asked if he was suggesting that for instance, a US President could not be prosecuted for ordering a SEAL Team 6 to assassinate a political opponent.  The lawyer vehemently agreed that a president could not be prosecuted even for that.  Joe Biden is eagerly awaiting the judge’s ruling on that,  so he can make an important phone call.


Trump as always was front and centre in the media, but there were other things floating around, like Boeing planes going boing,  and plunging temperatures.

 Screen Shot 2024-01-17 at 9.39.57 am


But none of that seems to bother his MAGA cultists.

Screen Shot 2024-01-20 at 9.08.42 am Screen Shot 2024-01-20 at 9.09.02 am Screen Shot 2024-01-18 at 7.50.15 am Screen Shot 2024-01-18 at 7.49.42 am Screen Shot 2024-01-18 at 7.48.55 am Screen Shot 2024-01-17 at 9.38.51 am


A Classic From The Shovel 

Screen Shot 2024-01-17 at 10.17.50 am

And Finally, Here’s How You Do A Front Page

A collector’s item for sure, naughty but nice an art mastered by the NT News folks –

Screen Shot 2024-01-18 at 9.41.05 pm


That’s all, folks for this week’s local looney toons.  Have a dekko at comments,  the occasional contribution is like a gold tooth in a mouthful of neglected teeth. If you’d like to support your weekly Nest, the donate button is below.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. Mike Douglas says:

    Premier Miles has to come up with distractions like Supermarket enquiry or blame the insurance companies even though any action is required at Federal level to distract from his Government mishandling Cyclone Jasper and flooding Gold Coast and Hinterland . Queensland speaker Curtis Pitt $340,000 a year was missing from the Premiers Cairns media and flood recovery even though he lives there . State Government Flood recovery support didn’t arrive for weeks after the event . Senator Watt thru Miles under the bus when asked by the media why didn’t defence help come earlier ” Qld Premier believed he had recovery resources to handle it ” . Re Council planning , Fran asked the Mayor for an update in the last Council meeting of 2023 on North Rail yards with no success

    • White Mouse says:

      Mayor Mullet is desperately hoping the cyclone crosses close enough that a decent gust of wind knocks down the north yard buildings. No more heritage listing problem.

      • The Magpie says:

        And … note the date, Minnie … The ‘Pie agrees with the mayor if that’s what she hopes for.
        It’s a wonder the place hasn’t had the red bull put through it … a few years back, that was the name given by to a side hustle by coppers in inner west Sydney who would for a cash fee would burn out your vehicle and then write a suitable report to allow you to claim insurance. Usually was a smashed window and three boxes of Redheads tied together.

    • Prince Rollmop says:

      Curtis who? Pitt has been mostly missing in action for the past 2 or so years. Claims to have some mental health issue. Shouldn’t he retire and draw on his substantial and generous pension if he can’t do his job? Typical of the fantasy world of politics and typical how there is one set of rules for them, and a different of rules for the rest of us.

    • Spielcheque says:

      Mike, I wonder if Cr Fran is aware of the information available from the government website (for a fee) about the contamination of the North Rail yards?

      “After TCC declined to name the contaminants on its land, a search of the Environmental Management Register (EMR) revealed that the soil and groundwater was impacted by hydrocarbons, and metals including arsenic, cadmium, chromium, copper, lead and zinc.“

      Perhaps the councillor could spend a few coins from her expense account and make the information public herself.

  2. Jenny Wren says:

    The government is advising us to keep up to date with the weather warnings. The BOM hasn’t updated its site since last night at 6.36pm so they obviously aren’t worried.
    From the BOM site:

    Tropical Low 05U
    Likely tropical cyclone impact on the Queensland coast from mid next week.

    A tropical low (05U) is developing in the Coral Sea, well away from the Queensland coast.
    The tropical low will strengthen over the weekend, and is likely to become a tropical cyclone by Monday.
    The tropical low is currently slow moving. It is forecast to begin to move to the southwest on Sunday, towards the Queensland coast.
    A coastal impact on Queensland is now considered more likely than not, but there still remains some uncertainty in the movement of the system. It may still remain off of the coast in the Coral Sea, though this has become less likely.
    The most likely zone for a coastal crossing is between about Cooktown and Mackay, somewhat more likely south of Cairns.
    A severe impact remains possible, particularly if the system crosses south of Cairns.
    If the cyclone were to cross the coast, it is then expected to weaken to a tropical low and move further south over land. This would bring heavy rainfall to areas well south of the crossing zone late in the week or over the weekend.
    Communities on the east coast of Queensland are advised to stay up to date with forecasts and warnings.

    Last updated
    13 hours ago, 06:36 pm AEST

  3. Doug K says:

    Wonder how many millions of ratepayers funds Jenny Hill has burnt on white elephants.
    Let’s see, on top of the Flinders Lane sinkhole (cost unknown due to commercial-in-confidence CIC) there’s the 2 tin sheds on the side of Castle Hill ($4+ million); the boardwalk from nowhere to nowhere, aka Jenny Hill Memorial Fishing Platform ($6+ million); the V8 Supercars, which appear to attract more participants than spectators these days (CIC again); the Landsdown black hole anchored by a battery factory that has since disappeared ($70+ million); that never ending pipeline project that’s running very late and over budget; the housing project on heavily contaminated ground in the old railway yards (anyone know just how much TCC paid for that millstone around the ratepayers necks?); the continually downgraded Hilton “luxury” hotel near the Cowboys stadium etc, etc, etc.
    Thank goodness we didn’t buy a ferry to run from the casino to the Cowboys stadium (over mudflats and under low bridges).

    • The Magpie says:

      A few answerts and observations. The travesty of the $4million shelter sheds and lawn strip on Castle Hill is even more ludicrous and self-defeating when the council (read Jenny Hill) vetoed a $2million tender for a cafe on the site … no reasons given exscept a mild hint that it wasn’t enough. Presumably couldn’t gouge enough headworks dough, but FFS $2m woulkd by a hell of a lot of tourist and walker friendly cafe with multi-million dollar views to attract customers. Something on the nose big time about that decision.

      Then Premier Palaszczuk put one good one over her former BFF Jenny Hill when she offered the rail yards to the council for either $20 or $30,000 dollars in 2013 … the price should surely have raised some questions, but the financially illiterate but greedy mayor saw a development sale in the millions … then the poisoned chalice – well, poisoned land actually – was revealed to prospective buyers, including Honeycombes next door, who couldn’t be seen for dust. 11 years later, madam has brought some bloke to have a go at conning someone into entanglement – but unfortunately the development sector seems a tad short on gullible idiots.

      And that Hilton Double Cross hotel … despite a promised start by August last year, the bare, stony site remains free of any activity, prospective or actual … even the workplace huts dued and fenced off on the site have now vanished. And Dolan Haye’s former business partner and good mate Michael Graham, whose Focus Pacific outfit is behind the scheme build it and rent to the Hilton group hasn’t been heard from in months. Maybe the project unofficial cheerleader Leighton Smith could pop around to Belgian Gardens to Michael’s home and find out what’s happening.

      Oh, wait … no, sorry, Leighton can’t do that … it would involve asking a question. Or two. Against editorial policy.

      Finally, Doug, how do you know that Mayor Mullet hasn’t already secretly bought the ferry for the stadium run and is just waiting for some dredging and bridge heightening to claim another visionary first for the city?

    • Spielcheque says:

      Doug, I’m a ratepayer too. When I see Council works in progress I like to know where the money’s coming from. You seem to think that all Council works are paid for exclusively by ratepayers when often the money comes ‘exclusively’ from somewhere else. For example, just looking at your list of TCC sins, the joke on Castle Hill was at least half funded through Phillip Thompson’s government as announced in 2019:
      “Townsville Mayor Jenny Hill has welcomed the announcement of $1.96 million in Federal funding for the Castle Hill Concept Plan as part of Townsville 2020 vision for our city.
      “I’d like to thank the Federal Government for their funding commitment for the Castle Hill Concept Plan,” Cr Hill said.”
      The boardwalk near your place was mostly, if not entirely, funded by the state government.
      The various road works and water jerks at Lansdown, with the exception of the recently constructed internal road, have been funded almost exclusively by state and federal governments and as you very well know, the no-water-crisis Haughton pipeline upgrade is being built with only a 10-20% contribution from ratepayers. Note that the dam is at 61.75% and rising with the best part of a wet season to come.
      This information is repeated over and over in the ‘Nest and is all available online at a moments notice. None so blind as them wot cannot see.

      • Mike Douglas says:

        Spielcheque , very selective on your comments claiming Council is only paying a small % of projects is not in line Council budgets available . Lansdown 2022/23 $80 mil + 2023/24 + $55 mil = $135 mil . Politics was played delaying Phil Thompsons Haughton stage 2 contribution including by the now Premier Miles so Team Hill voted to pick up $74.7 mil over spend . NQ Spark $32.2 mil 23/24 and you failed to mention $5 mil blow out on the budgeted $7.5 mil Thuringowa relocation after Council used the flood recovery $ from State / Feds for other projects .

      • Achilles says:

        Frankly I don’t care who funds these projects, what concerns me is the obvious lack of value for money.

        Things like these multi million dollar white elephants on Castle Hill, Board Walk et al. At those prices we are entitled to something that reflects that expenditure.

        Spend all that tax revenue, that’s what its there for, BUT give value for money. It’s the duty of governments at ALL levels to spend tax payers dollars with probity.

      • Alahazbin says:

        It must get a bit crowded under Jenny’s desk with Lightweight and you there. As you said the Castle Hill debacle was partly funded by the Feds. They didn’t tell them to go and make the complete fuckup that is there now.

        • Spielcheque says:

          Alahazbin, to paraphrase Tom Aikens (Member for Townsville South), you are so narrow minded you can peer through a keyhole with both eyes at once.

          “Member for Herbert Phillip Thompson said the three Castle Hill projects had the added benefit of supporting jobs as well as creating new attractions for Townsville.
          “The Australian Government’s Building Better Regions Fund was created to drive economic growth and build stronger regional communities – and this project ticks both of those boxes,” Mr Thompson said. “These three projects have helped us to capitalise on of one of our city’s most recognisable assets, make Townsville an even better place to live for locals, and provided other attractions to draw tourists to the region.”

          • Alahazbin says:

            But they didn’t advocate for the fuckup. It was listed as a kiosk. What happened? Can you ask Jenny why it cost $4mil to build a shed and lay a bit of turf.

  4. Spielcheque says:

    “It remains a mystery how a successful (and likeable) businessman like Martin Locke could get tangled up in something like this.”

    If you like the guy, why don’t you just ask him?

    • The Magpie says:

      Ah, there you are, better late than never … and how is our favourite dense dolt tis fine Sunday morning? Hungover seems a fair bet if that’s the best riposte you can come up with.

      Martin Locke’s business is a private entity, and while any ratepayer (or journalist) has the right to inquire into the dealings of the council, they have absolutely no right to inquire such financially detailed information from a private company … that REALLY IS commercial in confidence from that side of things. Mr Locke would be well within his rights to tell any inquirer to fuck off, none of their business.
      And, Squeaker, look up the meaning of ‘rhetorical question’.
      This blog is a bit beyond you at times, isn’t it, petal?

      • The Magpie says:

        Here’s an update to calm your jangled nerves, Squeaker.
        Can’t ascertain if it’s Martin Locke or the TCC, but a Gold Coast consultant experienced in running successful markets is now in the mix. It appears the stripping out of the middle of Flinders Lane is the necessary work to put in some market stalls. Would this be some sort of mini Cotters Market?
        The ‘Pie is also told the main office of Martin Locke Homes is moving in downstairs, which is believed to have the twin benefits of more of his staff are on site, and generate traffic that will hopefully disrupt “anti social behaviour” in the present arcade. Although it is clear that attempts to market the place as an events venue didn’t work, it appears that Mr Locke is trying to find positive solutions to recover from the misadventure and lopsided partnership he landed in two or three years ago.

        • Spielcheque says:

          When you wrote “likeable” I thought you knew the guy.

          • The Magpie says:

            The few public utterances and the fact that his doing something with his own money – obviously a concept baffling to you and your mistress – give the ‘Pie the impression he is very much a likeable guy … a point echoed by many who know him.
            Which is reasonable way to judge people … for instance, I’ve never met you but I get the impression you’re lying shithead with a secret agenda.

        • Jatzcrackers says:

          From my many years of knowing Marty Locke, besides being a excellent quality builder/developer, he’s a top shelf human always with a positive word and caring demeanour for others around him.
          He particular followed Lancini’s property development attitude of going all in and have a good crack at making it work.

          Lancini and the likes of him who developed a lot of Townsville, would have cautioned Marty about the poison chalice of doing business in partnership with Mullet but sometimes the glow of a success venture ending blurs even the most cautious of us.

          Interestingly, my real estate mates tell me that sales records of the Railway Yards bought by Council, show as being sold for $22,000 in 2013, yet absolutely no information of the sale records where Mullet (see TCC) paid circa $1.4M for the car yard strip of land adjoining the yards and fronting Flinders Street.

          The ex car yard owner is still laughing his head off on that windfall !

          • The Magpie says:

            Not published Kenny, would be very upsetting if untrue. And more upsetting if it’s not. And you suggest – ‘I hear’ – that it’s just a rumour anyway.

          • Kenny Kennett says:

            I was told by a very close friend of his, if you are referring to JD. I will confirm again if you like.

          • The Magpie says:

            Please do. Hope you understand The ‘Pie’s reluctance to post unless confirmed.

          • Elusive Butterfly says:

            Why the nervousness Mr.Pie? You and your cohort are always posting things that could be defined as risqué or damaging to reputation. Why the cold feet?

          • The Magpie says:

            Can’t say too much, but ‘cold feet’ gets close to the subject matter.

          • Polygamy Pete says:

            Pity that Bentley is on holidays. He/she/him/her/it is missing a golden opportunity for some Hill cartoons. Maybe Benters can make up for lost time when he/she/him/her/it is back on duty next week?

          • Bentley says:

            Dear Polygamist, multiple cartoons might amount to spreading myself too thin. You should understand that.

          • The Magpie says:

            I’m willing to risk it.

          • Spielcheque says:

            Jatz, a real estate site online shows the following:

            Sold on 21 Jun 2022
            792-816 Flinders Street Townsville City QLD 4810
            Development / Land
            3,006 m²
            Sold, $785,000

          • Mike Douglas says:

            Spielcheque , Bulletin article claims the $785,000 3,000 aq m was incorrectly reported by realcommercial website and $1.64 mil was actually paid . Copy sent to Pie .

          • The Magpie says:

            If The ‘Pie recalls correctly, that was published in The Nest at the time as a question from a reader tip that Fran had brought it up …. that forced the Bulletin to follow-up. The error was never convincingly explained.

          • Spielcheque says:

            If there was a half-arsed journalist in the camp they would pay the two pieces of silver to the Titles Office and obtain the actual facts about this transaction. It is not a secret. Surely we don’t have to rely on our host’s ‘correct recall’ or the fuckin’ Bulletin to solve this tiny mystery from two years ago?

          • The Magpie says:

            Listen Drongo, the Titles Office will not tell us how or why the money was under-reported in the first place. There can be no argument that the price was the price, and the lower amount was never publicly corrected by the council with a whoops sorry. An error of the is magnitude cannot be shrugged off by an oily apologist wittering on about the Titles Offices.

  5. Achilles says:

    Where’s Bently?

    • The Magpie says:

      family vbreak, back in a week or so, cyclone permitting.

    • Bentley says:

      Sorry folks, family fun and games. I have laughed far too much over the last few days and the disfunctional duffers who rule us appeared insignificant by comparison. See you all next week.

  6. Jatzcrackers says:

    I love it when you talk dirty and mention the words ‘moist’ and ‘Mayor Mullet’ in the same blog, Pie !!!

  7. James says:

    Just returned to Townsville after 8 years away. So disappointed to see such a lack of progress in the CBD. Also driving down The Strand nothing new seems to be added. In 8 years you would have hoped for growth and development beyond the building of new housing estates. Time for new civic leadership me thinks!

    • Motorist says:


      Welcome back.

      We now have lots and lots boulders around our public parks and sporting fields. They really scream the message that the vermin are winning and the State government will not amend the necessary legislation to fix the problem.

      When out and about, especially in shopping center car parks, both by day and especially night, keep a look out, be aware, and you and family, stay safe.

      Have you had a safety and security audit done on your home? If not, do it, a prudent investment in your physical security and peace of mind. The rot was probably evident when you were here last. It has got a lot worse, dangerously so.

      As I said, welcome back, the town is not the same.

      • The Magpie says:

        Tsk, tsk, tsk, Motorist, you omitted to tell James that he should adopt a cop, according to the mayor. This was only outcome of a ratepayer funded campaign move by the Mullet to hire an ex-copper to report on the state of crime in the city. it was a FIFO contract we’re told that included airfares back and forth from Perth.

        Seriously, you not fuckin’ make all this up.

      • Bullshit says:

        I actually like the boulders (not the reason for them). Should have put them in a long time ago.

        • The Magpie says:

          The ‘Pie agrees and has previously said he thought it was an innovative and smart way to solve the problem. They look good and pretty natural as well as serving the greater purpse.

  8. Prince Rollmop says:

    Statement of the week, the Magpie replying to Spielchook – “you’re lying shithead with a secret agenda.”. Pissed myself laughing. Must say that the Magpie is spot on. Old Shitcheque is a shifty Labor supporter who worships the ground that Jenny, Frothy, and other assorted Labor buffoons walk on.


  9. Doug K says:

    Hey Dud Cheque, or Light-on, or Dolan, hope you read the figures supplied by Mike Douglas: “Lansdown 2022/23 $80 mil + 2023/24 + $55 mil = $135 mil . Politics was played delaying Phil Thompsons Haughton stage 2 contribution including by the now Premier Miles so Team Hill voted to pick up $74.7 mil over spend.”
    Wonder how much ratepayers money Jenny Hill is paying the Gold Coast markets expert to breathe some life into Flinders Lane.
    In the end it’s just another Hill stuff up that she’s trying fix with a Bandaid prior to the election.
    What’s next Jenny, free fishing rods for your boardwalk-cum-world’s most expensive fishing platform, and a coffee cart up near your tin sheds on Castle Hill?
    Landsdown poses a problem though, unless you find yet another company that is “investigating” or “looking at” building something out there.
    Maybe that battery factory is worth another try. An offer of another $3 million handout for another beer coaster feasibility study should do the trick.

    • The Magpie says:

      Hey, that fishing rod idea isn’t a bad one, could make the thing look useful until the Hive is completed under its new dodgy owner. And probably popular, too, food prices being what they are … nothing like fried old workman’s boot to whet the appetite.

      And The ‘Pie has a theory why Lansdown seems to be stalled …. there were several executives from major global companies booked in to make a group inspection of the site, but through corporate contracts, they refused to stay anywhere else other than the new Hilton next to the stadium.

      In a joint communique, the companies said ‘We’ll come when that project is finished. We would appreciate a timeline.’ They also said they had problems meeting the mayor’s other stipulation that they not fly with Qantas.

  10. Spielcheque says:

    Doug, even Leighton Journalist would have understood the press release back in the day:

    “The East End Boardwalk was an investment of $6.9 million and was made possible through funding by the Queensland Government’s Works for Queensland program in association with Townsville City Council.”

    The Council did not spend ratepayers’ money. Look it up. Check the colourful video. Get to know your own front yard first hand.

    • Barfly says:

      Dolan aka Spielcheque, how is it that you have so much spare time to traverse this blog every day? Don’t you have some government duties to perform on the taxpayer dime? In other words; fuck off and go do some real work for once.

      • Spielcheque says:

        Blahfly, I’m sitting at my Centrelink desk signing cheques for dolebludgers while I scroll through the interweb thingy looking at the tennis (today) or the ‘Nest or an R-rated movie (probably tomorrow), unless I take the day off to get the spunky backpackers next door to tidy up my yard for the cyclone. My line manager’s a ‘Nest contributor too. She and I compete. Fuck it’s tough at the top.

    • White Mouse says:

      Blank cheque

      According to the “Works for Queensland” site:

      Each council will receive a funding allocation, which is to be spent on job-creating maintenance and minor infrastructure projects relating to assets owned or controlled by the council. Eligible councils are requested to place emphasis on providing jobs for young people (15 to 24 years).

      I didn’t see many 15-24 year olds on this site!

      Also – funding for this program finishes this year, does that mean that the Council (aka ratepayers) will need to come with the dosh for the rest of this grand vision linking Total Tools to the Strand? The proposed pedestrian bridge from FSE to Palmer Street isn’t going to be cheap.

      • The Magpie says:

        But if a council tenders out a job for a council owned asset, what control can they have over the age of the contractors employees? And the range 15-24 years cannot escape the conclusion that these will be extremely low skilled positions, and even if a trainee position ‘ minor infrastructure’ means short term.

    • Doug K says:

      As suggested before, Dud Cheque, you should head out to a fruit farm and go cherry picking. You’d be a natural.
      Pray tell, whose idea was it to build that absolutely useless boardwalk now being passed off for a fishing platform?
      And how much are ratepayers stumping up for the Gold Coast markets expert who is going to put lipstick on the Flinders Lane pig?

  11. Jeff, Condon says:

    Re: Polair chopper. On Tues 16 Jan 24, about 7:10 am, Scotty Stewart was interviewed on local ABC Radio about the helicopter. He lauded the technology on board and said the aircraft had already been put to good use. When Michael asked why it had taken so long to get it, Scotty said the police hadn’t wanted it. However, circumstances had changed, they asked for it and were given it. As he said many times, “… the Govt always listens to the experts”.

    He went on to say that he wants to see repeat juvenile offenders locked away and the courts have been given all the tools they need to do so and there are no excuses. He also blamed the parents for not bringing the kids up properly.

    So, there we have it. The juvenile crime epidemic everyone else’s fault, nothing to do with Govt, because they “… always listen to the experts”.

    • I.spy says:

      I wonder if the mostly Brisbane based media commentator Colon Hayes could team up with light-on Smith from the Bulletin to provide an honest overview of the Polair story and how Polair will actually strengthen Townsville’s defences against these juvenile criminals? Then again, these two dipshits couldn’t give an honest overview of anything. They are both captured by Jenny and her team of merry fuckwits.

      • Rotten Luck Willy says:

        I.s, it was the view of a contributor, can’t remember who, a couple of weeks back, that unless the Youth Justice (?) Act is strengthened PolAir will only accelerate the rate at which the game of catch and release is played.
        Expensive play acting on the part of SEQld Government, isn’t it?

        • The Magpie says:

          Yes, and the fact remains, they probably don’t have the guts to rein in the ‘soft touch’ element of the courts, and introduce regs that are have a connection to both the problem and the punters.

          • Wokka Wokka says:

            Notice that the polair chopper was nowhere to be seen following the cyclone when it would have been invaluable in spotting power hazards and the like. It only reappeared late on Monday afternoon.

  12. Beach lover says:

    One despairs to think how our once beautiful Rowes bay coastline will fare from this weather system. A failed shoreline erosion management plan and lack of dune maintenance from council has not only left the beach inaccessible but leaves coastal residents highly vulnerable to weather events. The clean up bill will no doubt be fobbed off by council to the state to fund under disaster management auspices. Meanwhile the council doesn’t see any problem. (Sigh). Waiting in vain for a decent candidate step up to resurrect this once great town.

    • The Magpie says:

      Interesting point to be made on your last statement.

      In a long ago conversation with Fran, when she was deciding wether to run for mayor, she said something along the lines that she really would be happy to a one time mayor, she just desperately wanted a chance to clean out the murky background and create a more open, transparent and individually involved council for a successor to build on. And stop the waste and expensive political horse-trading that has bedevilled this city for so long.

      So she won’t be some latter day Tony Mooney, but The Magpie is betting if elected, she will leave us a place better than she found it.

    • The Magpie says:

      Settle down, Beach Lover, Mayor Mullet is on the job, as WIN News reported, with the classic comment over this shot ‘Good to see they are watching the tennis, too.’ (See RH side of shot.)

      Multitasking at its finest.

      • Hee Haw says:

        For Christ sake who has a stock of sandbags in the shed for just such occasions. Council I believe have sand bagging machines too but never deploy them.

      • Prince Rollmop says:

        The mullet pointing to the cyclone tracking map and saying; “I see an opportunity here to put on my hi-vis vest and pretend that I am important and can actually make a difference, when in fact am a nobody and will contribute sweet fuck all”.

        Do those vests come in the Taubmans colour ‘doona purple’?


        • White Mouse says:

          Much as we bag out Mayor Mullet, at least she hasn’t taken a Sharpie to the map to change it’s trajectory – unlike a certain orange hued ex US president.

      • Not Achilles says:

        If the cyclone doesn’t do too much damage Jenny will be front and center donning her “I’m in charge” T-shirt with the tame Astonisher praising her for saving TSV,

        The pic you showed has her already poised to save us.

        But if TSV takes a hammering you won’t hear a beep from her. The Astonisher will probably run a story that she is at the front line leading the Disaster (of which she is highly qualified) Management crews while she is personally rescuing …… well anything with an “ahhh or oooh how cute animal or maybe a child.

    • PR Filter says:

      If we stop for a moment and parse this it becomes obvious that the esteemed Queensland Government got fewer than 32 applications for this fund from the entire State. It is a sad day when you can’t even give away $200,000.

    • Al says:

      Unfortunately, a shocking lot of bullshit

    • Rotten Luck Willy says:

      Ok, fair enough, 27 June, – 03 May, we leave our homes unlocked, and keys in the ignition to participate in recogfuckingnition?
      That the Aboriginal community has been lifted out of the phayolothic and now have a life span of more than 42 average, and can now actually boil water with the benefits that flow seems lost on them.
      No matter. Gubment sitdown money now un always plenty VB happy times.
      Ok, fair enough, again the police helicopter is low and slow over my neighborhood.

  13. Airline says:

    Just watched an interview on the ABC with Joe O’Brien and the Mayor of the Burdekin (1655) Lyn McLoughlin on the ABC News,Re the upcoming weather Event.What a impressive interview by the Mayor No Bullshit no Grandstanding just the Facts .Not like our insipid Bring your own sandbags Mayor Hill.

  14. Easypeezy says:

    Way too many uncontested seats at present for council

  15. Rotten Luck Willy says:

    These bloody e-scooters are danger to all, including foot path pedestrians. They are a danger on the roads and will eventually gum up the Townsville Crematorium bbq program.


  16. Elusive Butterfly says:

    Hey, David Crisafulli…have you ever thought about a high speed train…you know,,, European-style…300kmph.. between Brisbane and Cairns…stopping all stations…use that money….instead of the wasteful scourge that the Olympics will bring…?

    Think outside the square Davey…think to the future…otherwise Labor will destroy you…!

    • The Magpie says:

      It is well established in countries with far greater populations that HSR’s success depends on sufficient and consistently high numbers of passengers. That’s one of the main reasons such a venture between Sydney and Melbourne is very much on the back burner.

      Lack of sufficient passenger numbers was the reason The Kid gave in a social conversation with The ‘Pie years ago, to the reintroduction of rail motors through the northern beaches to Ingham, picking up commuters and return on their runs. The ‘Pie argued that this was a re-introduction of a successful rail operation, stopped because everyone was in love with super dooper roads. But population expansion has reached the stage where this idea should be re-visited, existing lines available, and the cost of no frills stations (ground level with motor rails) and a small fleet of rail motors – gradually expanding services to include Ayr and Charters Towers and the inevitable dormitory communities that will spring up would ease the pressure on our road system … or at least stop us waiting around to the promises of politicians curdle.

      An example of rail motor feasibility is right before our eyes with Elliot Springs … next maybe a developer will create a commuter community at say Mingela (attractive in part because the Burdekin Dam is just down the road). And individual attractions may follow the introduction of this alternative transport … a prime candid already exists, multiple day trips to Billabong Sanctuary.

      in fact, day jaunts just like they used to run … The ‘Pie himself enjoyed two or three office social outings in the 90s, starting at the disgracefully closed (thanks, Mike Reynolds) old railway station.

      This is a vastly different proposition to HSR, which is aimed at offering a viable and less expensive option for current airline passengers between the main population and business hubs.

      The Magpie now eagerly awaits that noisy section of negative Nevilles and Nellies (this town ain’t short of them) who, instead of seeing challenges that can be worked around and overcome, will present solvable problems as unchangeable stumbling blocks.

    • Amanda Reen says:

      Perhaps they could fix the existing track to allow the Tilt train to travel north at the speeds it was designed for? Lets start with Medium Speed Rail and work up to High Speed.

  17. Doug K says:

    Both Seven News and today’s cocky cage liner said a cruise ship visit to Townsville planned for today had been diverted because of the impending cyclone, and wouldn’t be arriving.
    Well unless 2 cruise ships were scheduled to arrived today, they both got it wrong.
    Unless I’m seeing things, a huge cruise ship docked in Townsville Port around 7am this morning.
    Maybe the cruise operators know more than BOM and the cyclone is actually heading south, and not crossing the coast anywhere near Townsville.

    • The Magpie says:

      Wouldn’t it be safer to dock in a secure(ish) port like Townsville, given the fickle nature of cyclones wobbling about in direction?

    • Popeye says:

      the SEVEN SEAS EXPLORER docked in Townsville this morning. It is due to depart at 8:00 pm tonight. Another passenger ship was scheduled to dock tomorrow, that has been cancelled.

  18. Sue Ridge says:


    So if the clean energy trasisition is no longer ‘bankable’ does this mean we can go back to buring coal and paying less for power? Does it also mean that if the project doesn’t stack up like say, Hands Down Eco Industrial Park and The Copper String Ponzi scheme, we wont be pouring billions of public dollars in to them?

    If that IS the case, i know a guy who has a monorail he will sell us.

    • Uh says:

      Oh no, the minerals required for the clean energy transition have suddenly gotten cheaper, how will the industry survive when it was already cheaper than coal?

  19. The Magpie says:


    Absolutely nothing but NOTHING demonstrates your disconnect from this community than today’s front page.

    I mean, can you be serious that this isn’t your AUTOMATIC front page …

    …a predicted Cat 3 cyclone due to make landfall within a day or so, n and on the latest predicted course, ready to rip straight through this city – it may not, but you’re not in the guessing game, your job is to latest information game and to just quote the experts.

    But all we get today is a little no-nothing strap about get ready. No wonder hardly anybody depends or believes you for valuable and timely information.

    You people really do not know your job or your place in this community.

    Seriously, you don’t.

  20. Prince Rollmop says:

    He who doesn’t hold hoses, Scott Morrison, has apparently advised that he is quitting politics finally. Finally this fuckwit is vacating office. Never fear, he draws a wonderful post political life pension and payment plan due to being a PM. Somebody must’ve thrown him a lifeline and I would imagine that he will pop up again in some plum role within a sector that he favoured during his tenure.

    So long Scott, don’t bang the door on your way out.

    • The Magpie says:

      Hope the door bangs him on his fat cheating arse on the ay out.

      And question: do get all five resignations at once, and does he get the five different retirement entitlements?

    • Ben Rumson says:

      From the ABC news, Scotty from Marketing has a well paired gig in the USA consulting, but did not elaborate. Home will remain in Sydney. Sydney Australia, not Sydney Canada.

  21. White Mouse says:

    A story to warm The Magpie’s heart – Scomo is quitting politics at the end of next month.

  22. The Magpie says:

    Squirm out of this, AnAl.

    Roy Morgan Update

    Australians say January 26 should be known as ‘Australia Day’, (68.5%) and say the date of Australia Day should stay on January 26

    A special Roy Morgan SMS Poll on Australia Day, January 26, shows more than two-thirds of Australians (68.5%) now say the date should stay as ‘Australia Day’ – up 4.5% from a year ago. Only 31.5% (down 4.5%) say January 26 should be called ‘Invasion Day’.

    Australians are more evenly split on keeping Australia Day on January 26 with 58.5% saying the date of Australia Day should stay the same while just over two-fifths, 41.5%, say the date should be moved – according to a special Roy Morgan SMS Poll conducted with an Australia-wide cross-section of 1,111 Australians aged 18+ from Wednesday January 17 – Friday January 19, 2024.

    A large majority of men favour January 26 staying as ‘Australia Day’ rather than ‘Invasion Day’ by a margin of over 3:1 (76.5% cf. 23.5%) a significant change from a year ago (69% cf. 31%).

    In contrast, Australia’s women are more evenly split with a majority of 61.5% (up 3.5% points from a year ago) in favour of January 26 being known as ‘Australia Day’ compared to 38.5% (down 3.5% points) saying it should be known as ‘Invasion Day.

    • Uh says:

      How will he squirm out of what?

      • The Magpie says:

        Our Prime Minister clearly does not accept a majority opinion of Australians, not even an overwhelming majority cf The Voice, to which he said he was disappointed that with the thumping result. Since then he has been playing semantics about Australia Day. These stats are pretty clear and likely to be a reflection of a wider sector of the population … he will now have to squirm out of his clear desire to have Australia Day moved. Comprendi?

        • Jeff, Condon says:

          AnAl doesn’t have the ability to handle such details as statistics. He just as little epiphanies from time to time and hopes it will turn out nice.

        • Uh says:

          Riiiiight … the clear desire that you made up in your head.

          • The Magpie says:

            You’re not very good at paying attention, are you, dear? If you can’t keep up with politic as they unfold and attitudes accumulate, perhaps best if you find somewhere else to waste people’s time.

            Albo’s faint-hearted ‘maybe we should leave the date as it is’ rhetoric is a made by a politician who has suddenly realised the extent of his misjudgement over The Voice. And the division the has been central to causing.

          • Grumpy says:

            I fear we shall be beset by Labor party stormtroopers on a mission to belittle, embarrass and marginalise the Nest and the Flock. Many years ago, when I first saw “All the President’s Men”, I learned a phrase as useful as the coconut is to the Polynesian: Uh, you are a ratfucker.

          • The Magpie says:

            ‘shall be’ is future tense. The Nest has been that target since its inception, but mainly because of rusted on myths and beliefs … The ‘Pie champions those policies and decisions he agrees with from any side of the spectrum, but is seen as the enemy from both sides occasionally. To The ‘pie’s great satisfaction.

            Hope you’ve brought plastic chairs and pool ducky inside, Grumps, might be a bit fun happenin’ in the next few hourts. Stay safe.

          • Uh says:

            Then can you point to him articulating a desire to change the date before the referendum?

            His behaviour is consistent and he has nothing to squirm his way out of!

          • The Magpie says:

            Baby elephants are born weighting 250 pounds. They are the biggest babies on earth, except for Anthony Albanese who has never got over the Voice referendum result.

            Can you point to him making a rock solid statement that he is not in favour of changing the date of Australia Day?

          • Uh says:

            You said he had something to squirm out of!!! If he studiously avoided taking a stance that means he doesn’t!

          • The Magpie says:

            Sigh. As a legacy seeking politician, he has to squirm out of a taking a stand – for the second time – that opposes a clear majority of the population. That was the point of the original comment.

            And that’s the end of this thread. The ‘Pie finds engaging folks like you in deliberately partisan semantics is boring for everybody … you’re not even witty, you sad sack.

          • Uh says:

            Fine to leave it here with it proven that he didn’t take a stand either way.

          • The Magpie says:

            That is EXACTLY the way he wants you to see it.

          • Uh says:

            Well yes obviously. He wants us to see him as not taking a stance and has used not taking a stance to give that impression. That also leads to him having nothing to squirm out of.

          • The Magpie says:

            The polite term of that comment is ‘illogical’. He poses a particular stance of not taking a stance in order to give us that impression that he’s not taking a stance, which means he doesn’t wish us to know how he really feels. And yet at last night’s Aust of Year awards he went out of his way to praise the fact that several thousand people would be ‘become Australian citizens at special ceremonies tomorrow’, a walk back if ever there was one.

            And pity he didn’t take such a claimed neutral stand on Israel, instead of just deploring the barbarity of the Hamas ghouls instead of saying – falsely – that Australia sides with Israel and its right to defend itself. Thus making us seem to endorse Israel’s own little mini-Holocaust in Gaza. (Mini as in children). Another brilliant moment of social division in this country by PM AnAl.

            Anyway, you have a happy Invasion Day … The ‘Pie can just imagine your household’s excitement for the big march. Sack cloth and ashes anyone.

          • Uh says:

            Acknowledging new citizens is perfectly consistent with his stance. Keep digging.

          • The Magpie says:

            No it’s not, if they are made citizens on Australia Day … he is the PM who rescinded the requirement for councils to hold such ceremonies on Jan 25. Clearly by abandoning this reg, he and Labor are making an idealogical statement regarding the date, by downgrading its significance.

            Prime Minister AnAl is the one doing the digging, and you’re the on handing him the shovels.

          • Uh says:

            “the requirement for councils to hold such ceremonies on Jan 25” [sic] was implemented for one year by a flailing Scott Morrison desperate to improve his re-election prospects by positioning himself as a culture warrior.

            By restoring the bipartisan and long standing freedom of choice, allowing communities to decide for themself whether or not to hold a citizenship ceremony on Australia Day, Albanese is acting in accord with his obvious and consistent stance of not picking sides, and has nothing to squirm out of.

          • The Magpie says:

            He’s done nothing BUT puck sides. Read the blog.

  23. Elusive Butterfly says:

    Mr. Pie, apparently businesses all over the city are closing on Thursday!
    Something about a cyclone!
    Could these SIX have anything to do with it?

    “Townsville cyclone: BOM track map has North Qld in firing line
    Parts of the North Queensland coast are likely to start seeing strong gales late Wednesday as a tropical low intensifies into Category 1 Cyclone Kirrily. LATEST TRACK MAP”

    Cameron Bates, Emily Devon, Daniel Shirkie, Cas Garvey, Caitlan Charles and Bethany Westwood.

    Seriously, six of them required to re-write BOM forecasts??
    And, did you like the headline Mr. Pie? “Townsville cyclone”…aren’t we lucky, we have our, very own, cyclone!

  24. Rotten Luck Willy says:

    I do have a solution to world hunger and homelessness.

    “Let the hungry eat the homeless. “

  25. Mike Douglas says:

    In Mayor Hills quest to leave a legacy has she again picked the wrong ship ( Adani air strip , Magnis , contaminated North rail yards ) . $ bils of critical minerals projects on hold , mines closed instead of focussing on the needs of the City distracted wanting to be seen as a player / deal maker . Team Hill rudderless / lack of ideas what will Jenny pull out of her hat as sales job over the next 8 weeks . Cost of living in Townsville / businesses closing .

  26. Kenny Kennett says:

    Kim Williams, new chair of ABC.

  27. Elusive Butterfly says:

    Mr. Pie, according to today’s “iditorial” in the Bulletin, our Mayor is getting “fatigued” by the “media circus” surrounding the cyclone.
    Words fail me!

    • The Magpie says:

      Classic cognitive dissonance … complaining to the media that their reporting of the cyclone is a circus allows Jenny in red nose and floppy shoes to enter centre ring.

    • The Magpie says:

      Seriously, this woman is an idiotic liability at the best of times but when it comes to potentially dangerous situations, she should be kept well away. Realising she wasn’t getting the heroic profile she was seeking for her re-election campaign, The Mullet devised the Baldrick-like plan to blame her ‘fatigue’ on the media for -gasp! – talking about a cyclone from the moment it was a possibility. The dastardly bastards – many of whom are nowhere near Townsville, the centre of this plonker’s electoral universe.

      But Flutterby, you missed the crucial point, which puts The ‘Pie in the usual position of agreeing the iditor of the Astonisher. (Another gasp!)

      Adding to the amazement is the fact that the editorial gives Jenny an almighty kick in the slats, although couched in as polite of terms as possible …. basically, a ‘we do our jobs, part of which is reporting how you do yours. Get on with it.”

      And no, for the record, The ‘Pie does not believe Mayor Mullet was including The Nest in her broad-brush swipe at the media … in her world, the few thousand who read this blog are of no account.

  28. The Magpie says:

    Fingers crossed – the latest from BOM suggests we might miss the worst of it. And the other good news (well for those who remember Cat 5 Yasi) is that this bugger is (only?) Cat 2.
    Issued at 4:56 am EST on Wednesday 24 January 2024

    Tropical cyclone impacts likely to begin for coastal and island communities Wednesday night.

    Areas Affected:
    Warning zone: Ayr to Mackay, including Mackay, Bowen and the Whitsunday Islands.

    Watch zone: Cairns to Ayr (not including Cairns), including Townsville and extending inland to Charters Towers. Mackay to St Lawrence.

    Cancelled zone: None.

    Details of Tropical Low at 4:00 am AEST:
    Intensity: Tropical Low, sustained winds near the centre of 75 kilometres per hour with wind gusts to 95 kilometres per hour.
    Location: within 65 kilometres of 17.2 degrees South 152.9 degrees East, estimated to be 690 kilometres east northeast of Townsville and 590 kilometres northeast of Mackay.
    Movement: west southwest at 7 kilometres per hour.

    A tropical low (05U) is developing slowly in the central Coral Sea and is expected to become a tropical cyclone later Wednesday. This system is forecast to track southwest towards the Queensland coast. The system is likely to cross the Queensland coast Thursday night between Cardwell and Bowen as a Category 2 system.

  29. Spielcheque says:

    If you are still following the Magnis train crash there’s a new shareholder announcement on their site. They are basically in deeper shit:

    “Further to the announcement on 2 January 2024 [4]that Magnis had moved to OTCQB Venture Market, on 18 January 2024 (US time) the OTC board moved Magnis to the OTC Open Market. The Company has been informed that this change will be revisited by the OTC if and when Magnis’ suspension from the ASX is lifted.”

    If you had never heard of the OTC it is described thus:

    “OTC markets are trading marketplaces that do not function as traditional stock exchanges. They are decentralized (they don’t have a firm physical location) and leverages a network of broker-dealers rather than the matching engine technology used by exchanges.
    OTC markets are generally less transparent and less regulated than conventional stock exchanges, which makes them riskier to invest in.”

    • The Magpie says:

      The Magpie isn’t making a throwaway quip when he says that Townsville really dodged a bullet in the Magnis matter, despite Jenny Hill painting a bullseye on the city in a vain attempt at legacy glory.

      Lucky for Jenny, though not for us, that she has a goldfish electorate when it comes to memory and attention spans.

    • Soy latte sipper says:

      How much money did you invest in Magnis Dolan? You seem to be proactively following the share price.

      • The Magpie says:

        Folks, knowing the Hayes style for the many many years he has, The Magpie is confident you’re on the wrong track with this one. Spielcheque is a low-level arse licker, unlike Dolan … who is a high level one, when not having various lips planted on his own cheeks, (lower back variety).

  30. Elusive Butterfly says:

    Mr. Pie, there hasn’t been one article on Melbourne’s Herald Sun website all week regarding the cyclone.
    But we have this!


    The News Ltd. rot is obviously nationwide!

    • Soy latte sipper says:

      It’s behind a paywall fucknuckle

      • The Magpie says:

        It was posted because it worked for The ‘Pie. Don’t know why you’re blocked … The ‘Pie subscribes only to the Townsville Bulletin (for obvious reasons), so don’t think that gives him access. Anyway, don’t worry, just believe me when I tell you it is drivel you don’t really need. Besides you’ll read it in the Bulletin sometime in the next week or so when they run out of dying kids you don’t know and don’t give a fuck about, or Townsville’s best supermarket aisles for bend-over glimpses.

  31. Alfred E Neuman says:

    Ergon Energy Preparation

    Whilst outside the theatre an hour before the show strates there was a couple of convoys of Ergon Energy trucks arriving at Reid Park. Mostly those with the bloody great cherry picker buckets but others as well. All lining up with military precision. An Ergon army, so to speak.

    After the show I would guess there would be 30 – 50 vehicles. I thought the sight would make a good PR photo for the newspaper, but we don’t have one, do we.

    Just thought I would mention it.

    • The Magpie says:

      Good comment. So often by its very nature and definition, news is negative, death, crime, mayhem, mayoral statements but occasionally there is a heartening positive story around that doesn’t involve sick kids and dead accident victims, all of whom were saints when alive.

      And this is a bit of both … an indication of trouble literally on the horizon, but sensible preparations to let us know responsible hands are ready to help us.

  32. The Magpie says:

    Hey did you read the thrilling sports report in The Bulletin about the Big Bash final, when the Brisbane Heat (ostensibly Queensland) marched into enemy territory and took on and absolutely trounced the Sydney Sixers to take out another BB trophy?

    No neither did I.


    The ‘Pie understands that this lazy, amateur outfit has long ditched the usual 10pm or latertimeline for ‘putting the paper to bed’ … daily deadline for the printing presses to rumble and roll. But there is no excuse for not running a story appealing to Queenslander parochial pride about snotting a traditional rival on the website for subscribers. It may be on FB, haven’t looked, but why not everywhere? Apart from the metro heavy hitters, the BB final was good enough for the likes of thre BBC, The Guardian and -for God’s sake – the Shepparton Times – in totally disinterested Victoria!!

    A money-making Murdoch outpost with zero interest in or understanding of this community.

  33. The Magpie says:

    The relevant bits have been bolded. There should be an updated advisory any time now.

    Australian Bureau of Meteorology
    Tropical Cyclone Warning Centre


    Issued at 4:53 am EST on Thursday 25 January 2024

    Tropical Cyclone Kirrily likely to cross the coast between Ingham and Bowen tonight. Gales now occurring over Whitsunday Islands, to extend to the mainland today.

    Areas Affected:
    Warning zone: Innisfail to Sarina, including Townsville, Mackay, Bowen, the Whitsunday Islands, and extending inland to Charters Towers.

    Watch zone: None.

    Cancelled zone: None.

    Details of Tropical Cyclone Kirrily at 4:00 am AEST:
    Intensity: Category 1, sustained winds near the centre of 75 kilometres per hour with wind gusts to 100 kilometres per hour.
    Location: within 55 kilometres of 17.7 degrees South 150.4 degrees East, estimated to be 420 kilometres east northeast of Townsville and 405 kilometres north northeast of Mackay.
    Movement: west at 17 kilometres per hour.

    Tropical Cyclone Kirrily is expected to continue strengthening as it tracks west southwest towards the Queensland coast. The system is likely to cross the Queensland coast tonight, in the vicinity of Townsville, as a Category 2 system.

    In the longer term, the system is likely to track further inland as a tropical low, resulting in heavy to intense rain to parts of the northern interior and western Queensland.

    GALES with DAMAGING WIND GUSTS to 120 km/h are occurring over the Whitsunday Islands and are expected to extend to mainland communities between Ayr and Sarina during the morning. GALES with DAMAGING WIND GUSTS to 120 km/h are expected to extend northward to coastal and island communities between Ayr and Innisfail, including Townsville, during this afternoon and evening.

    DESTRUCTIVE WIND GUSTS to 140 km/h are expected to develop about coastal and island communities between Ayr and Bowen, during this evening extending north to Ingham, including Townsville tonight. DESTRUCTIVE WIND GUSTS to 140 km/h may extend south to Proserpine, including the Whitsunday Islands this evening if the system take a more southerly track.

    GALES with DAMAGING WIND GUSTS to 90 km/h are expected to extend to inland areas including Charters Towers overnight tonight into Friday morning.

    HEAVY RAINFALL which may lead to FLASH FLOODING is likely to develop about coastal areas between Innisfail and Sarina during this morning before spreading to inland areas later the day and continuing during Friday. INTENSE RAINFALL which may lead to DANGEROUS AND LIFE THREATENING FLASH FLOODING is possible near the track of the system, most likely with the coastal crossing during today and Friday. A flood watch is also current for these areas.

    During Friday, the system is expected to become a tropical low and HEAVY RAINFALL may develop across the northern interior and western Queensland into the weekend as the system tracks inland.

    As the system approaches and crosses the coast, a STORM TIDE is expected between Townsville and Mackay. Large waves may produce minor flooding along the foreshore. People living in areas likely to be affected by this flooding should take measures to protect their property as much as possible and be prepared to help their neighbours.

    Recommended Action:
    People between Innisfail and Sarina, including Townsville, Bowen, Mackay, and the Whitsunday Islands, should immediately commence or continue preparations, especially securing boats and property using available daylight hours.

    People in inland areas to Charters Towers should take precautions and listen to the next advice.

    – Information is available from your local government

    – For cyclone preparedness and safety advice, visit Queensland’s Disaster Management Services website (www.disaster.qld.gov.au)

    – For emergency assistance call the Queensland State Emergency Service (SES) on
    132 500 (for assistance with storm damage, rising flood water, fallen trees on buildings or roof damage).

    – If you choose to take shelter away from your home, stay COVID-19 safe and pack a mask and hand sanitiser (if you have them).

    This warning is also available through TV and Radio Broadcasts; the Bureau’s website at http://www.bom.gov.au or call 1300 659 210. The Bureau and the State Emergency Service would appreciate this warning being broadcast regularly.

    A map showing the track of the cyclone is available at:

    • Spielcheque says:

      Magpie, you can ‘see’ the cyclone and the rain patterns around it live on BOM Townsville radar. Once you get the standard 125 km screen up, look along the bar just above the radar image and click on the 512 km composite image.

      • The Magpie says:

        Yup, that’s how The Pie’s been doing it … pretty speccy, eh? But we also needed the interpreted info, because the movement on the radar isn’t an apparent direction.

        It’s gunna be fun. Latest from Disaster Management alert is that the fun starts in two hours from now, 2pm.

        • Jeff, Condon says:

          You were dead right. Power in Condon failed at 4:00 pm with winds est at 38 km. WTF!!!
          Neither Mullet nor Ergon have the guts to take on the Greens and lop the high gums (inappropriate in built up areas) overhanging powerline, therefore, unnecessary power failures all time.

          Finally got the +×÷==//€£ generator hooked into the house and now fervently hope that all of you (even splurgecheck) come out well on the other side of the storm.

    • Prince Rollmop says:

      Has Jenny gone up to Castle Hill yet to tie down the bike shelter? Would hate to see the $4m tin shed get blown away.

  34. Spielcheque says:

    A nice line from Crikey today:

    “Unfortunately for DeSantis, however, it turns out that people rather like the drama [of Trump]. The drama is what makes Trump palatable. Without it… well, if you could somehow take Donald Trump and subtract everything that makes him Donald Trump — the hair, the makeup, the lawsuits, the burgers, the occasional propensity to shout the quiet part from the rooftops, the laugh-despite-yourself verbal pyrotechnics and the nascent fascism — you’d end up with a decidedly unpleasant and mean-spirited man who no-one really likes.
    In other words, you end up with Ron DeSantis.”

  35. Doug K says:

    I’m told the Townsville Bulletin is put to bed at 4pm these days.
    No results for races run after around 3.30pm and if the Pope dies after 4pm on a Friday, the news would have to wait until Monday’s edition.
    I remember when the deadlinebwas 11pm and on occasions we even held back publication to get the Wimbledon result.
    So much for progress.

    • Rusty zipper says:

      The paper should be put to bed permanently. It’s a shit rag with a shit editor and shit reporters. Most of the articles are utter shit and it’s filled with shitty ads. Good for the cocky cage or fire pit starter.

  36. Achilles says:

    FYI here’s the tide chart for today, High Tide 9PM, lets hope Jenny leaves the dam water release (if needed) to the experts.

    NB Its now a Cat 3 and it has increased in speed to 36KMPH fairly rapidly.

    A white doublet does not an expert make Jenny!!!!


  37. Alfred E Neuman says:

    To you Dear ‘Pie, and all nesters of good will,

    Stay safe, fortune favours the prepared.

  38. Green Waste says:

    All the time Wayne Preedy and Jenny Hill have been prancing around looking serious and wise, no one thought about the aftermath of the Cyclone. Limited waste and parks staff rostered on today because it is a public holiday so comes at a premium and no one yet prepared to make decisions about dealing with all the debris. Good one General Preedy.

    • Green Waste says:

      You have to smile or you cry. General Preedy has made a decision on green waste and the decision is ….. to remove the advice from the disaster dashboard that dumps will open today and shut down discussion about kerbside green waste.

      You fucking dumb womble.

    • Achilles says:

      No point looking for info on the ABC regarding the effect of the cyclone.

      Just like like the Cyclone that hit FNQ recently they only seemed to be concerned about Wujal Wujal. Where no serious damage was experienced on homes; only the access road was knocked out.

      On today’s most recent ABC report they appear to be only concerned about Palm Island.

      Maybe Alf Lacey didn’t make it back from Ingham with the “essential supplies”?

  39. OWL says:

    Saw on the Disaster management Facebook page that there will be no green kerbside pickup following the big blow. Take it to the tip yourself!! Sounds like a vote winner for Team Hill.

  40. Rusty zipper says:

    Gutless turd Pat Cummins supports the ‘woke’ movement in their approach to not celebrating Australia Day. This is the same Pat Cummins who slyly undermined Justin Langer behind his back when he was coach. Couldn’t get anymore I Australian than that. Ya weak prick.

    • Achilles says:

      Maybe you could dispense a “rusty zipper” to Langer’s mouth, he is the most irritating, micro-analysing and pompous commentator since Tony Greg.

  41. Achilles says:

    Watching the news coverage of all of the mindless morons parading their apologies for doing something useful with the Great Southern instead of just sitting around stagnant on top of every natural and valuable resource imaginable.

    So along comes a more developed and advanced culture about 6-8 thousand years old and utilises and develops the assets that have been ignored.

    Then the original occupants want (read demand) a share, not by getting on board, work and learn how to improve their lot by hard yacka and adapting.

    Maybe we should accept their claim?

    Ok! everyone of non indigenous origin pack up and go “home”. Bit tricky for those bludgers who are blue eyed and white skinned and yet claim the inheritance of some fictional golden age from 60,000 years ago.

    BUT remove or demolish all the roads, houses, power stations, clean water facilities, hospitals, gravy trains et al,

    Then they can go back to sitting naked on their bare arses in the sand and continue dreaming.

    I didn’t really feel this way until Albo’s VOICE brain fart got rammed down my throat and the ABC started using English as a second language.

  42. Mangrove Jack says:

    Tsv resident rings into 4MMM, whilst driving past Ried Park, asks why all the Ergon trucks that have been there since Wednesday are yet to be put into action. Good question says radio jock, ringing Ergon. PR chick from Ergon says those out of town trucks are waiting for their crew to arrive from down south and the Tsv trucks are still at the Garbutt depot, waiting for the planning process to be completed. The unasked question, when the f$%k will that be.
    Disaster manager Hill is basically asked same, answers it is in planning stages, and can’t say when the action will begin.

    19hrs since my area lost power and advised Ergon. I don’t blame the Ergon crews, but what are the Mr Magoo’s (managers) doing that takes so long to get action moving.

    • The Magpie says:

      Look like they’re waiting for the green for Le Mans start.

      • Achilles says:

        Nah! Its Townsville; Jenny’s gonna hold an auction, so the balance sheet will be impressive during the election campaign..

      • Green Waste says:

        The latest word is that Ergon might need another 2 days to plan their response before getting started, and a further 5 to get power supplied again.

        Seems also that Jenny has distanced herself from the green waste debacle by saying someone issued a media release without approval but she corrected the situation herself because she is our saviour and protector.

      • The Magpie says:

        Anyone wants to make book on when the first one is pinched?

      • Jeff, Condon says:

        A kiddie crim’s smorgasbord.

    • Jeff, Condon says:

      Two days to assess the damage and then develop a plan. Extra crews arriving today, depending on the unreliable airlines. May get started on Mon.

      Wind speeds here were at the lower end of a Cat 1 and we began losing power at 4:00 pm, 25/01, when wind speeds were gusting at 38 km/h. And the bloody thing hadn’t even arrived. God help us if we had a slow moving Cat 3 – 5.

      Before the NBN shat itself about midday yesterday, I saw the Ergon Power Map. It looked as though every single area in Townsville, Ayr and Ingham were out. That is unbelievable. Is the grid really so delicate?

      Ah well, kiddie crime, astronomical insurance and council rates, Islamic weather (sometimes it’s Sunni and others it’s Shiite) and cyclones are just some of the small costs we put up with to live in paradise.

  43. Alahazbin says:

    I see some more ‘His Radiance’s’ 100,000 trees for Townsville bit the dust (or mud). African Mahogany’s and Pentoflins should never been planted in a cyclone area.

  44. Mike Douglas says:

    Residents cleared our roads + streets with chainsaws as it appears Council were at minimum staff public holiday Australia Day . Then our Mayors retraction on green waste pick up . The Premier is in Townsville today but announced flood recovery $ yesterday for Hinchinbrook , Burdekin , Townsville . Prins added 109 extra staff last year . It took Frans questions in mid year spending update Council to flush out blow outs Lansdown $36 mil , Haughton stage 2 because Council couldn’t get contractors .

    • Achilles says:

      Well done most pious, noble residents, for doing what should be done by YOU in YOUR own local at times like this.

      Or maybe you should have just sat on your collective arses and claimed discrimination?

  45. Achilles says:

    Watching the consecration of a Hindu temple by their PM in India on ABC News, I was amazed at the number of Spike Milligan look-a-likes at the consecration.

    Woywoy should be proud!

Post a Comment

The Magpie encourages all to take part in the discussion and let their voice be heard.
In order to post a comment, you must provide a name. While you don't have to use your real name, it should be something unique so users can identify you in the discussion. Generic names like “Anonymous” will likely result in your comment being ignored.
Let the discussion begin!

Current ye@r *

Countdown until the next council election:

-1548Days -16 -57 -34