Mayor Mullet’s Baby Bonus Boo Boo Upsets Her Branch Comrades – They Want Her Censured By HQ.

Jenny Hill must’ve soiled her dainties big time , and has threatened to lawyer up against her own Townsville ALP branch over  accusations she publicly spoke against party policy. But hang on …. doesn’t Jenny Hill continually she is an ‘independent’ mayor? Th ‘Pie has the details of the blow-by-blow bitch slap between the gals.

The Mullet is a fish out of water on the crime issue – she’s copping it from all directions, including mayoral candidate Fran O’Callaghan who has at last introduced some much needed mongrel into her campaign. She has challenged Mayor Mullet with a question we’ve all been asking. And even the Astonisher says the mayor doesn’t have the answers.

What the fuck were they thinking? A brief word on that Woolies boycott bullshit … and the mysterious question of why it all started in the first place.

And the sporting world in uproar, when a croquet champion turns out to be a … ummm … croquette.

The Magpie is well and truly back on the wing, but so are those remorseless bill demanders.  A hand with all that would be good, so if you reckon all the matters you will only ever see here is worth it, you can help with a donation by bashing the donate button at the bottom of the blog.

Bentley Makes A Timely Shout Out

It’s always nice to start out on a positive note, so just when you’re about to give up on Australians as a selfish society , and we  tire of the over-attention paid to the ratbag fringe, along comes Mother Nature to challenge and restore our disappearing values. Close to home, just north, there have been countless instances of courageous and selfless spirit, individually and collectively. And the same can been seen in the wide variety of disasters nature has bestowed across Australia. Bentley takes up the standard for one  band of toilers that are sometimes taken for granted …

Sure, they’re paid to do the job, but it is nevertheless highly skilled and dangerous work so often in even more perilous conditions. But in the aftermath of a cyclone, it much, much more dicey.  No amount of cynicism or anger with power companies can detract from the role these blokes and blokettes, (one assumes)play, they always  resolutely turn up to do their job when Gaia turns nasty.

Bravo.

Jenny In Labour Pains  … Well, Labor actually …

… but her screams of anguish are just as loud.

Jenny Hill is well known for her frequent Alice in Blunderland moments – but it’s one thing leading to another as she flounders, prances and poses about the local media with her sudden awareness and shallow insights about juvenile crime  – (wonderful how a looming election concentrates the mind, innit?).

Mayor Mullet has been around long enough to know the political road grows ruts at a moments’ notice, but she must have been blindsided by this very public kick in the slats … from her own ALP branch.

Like the TV show, it all started with a big bang in her PR sheet the Townsville Bulletin back in October.

Our mayor decided in for a penny, in for a quid, and really let fly with some pretty average stuff with the twin aims of her bogan constituency and some lipsticking of some Labor hierarchy bums.

Cr Hill didn’t hold back when asked what she thought was driving the youth crime crisis during a Sunrise interview on Friday.

“I think something’s happened within the last 20 years,” she said.“We’ve nicknamed it Costello’s children because when we had the baby bonus, we saw a lot of families seemingly having children who you would think twice about allowing to have children.”

“There are some people out there who don’t realise children aren’t just a right and just aren’t an income source. They’re a responsibility.”

The Baby Bonus payment – worth between $3000 and $5437 – was introduced in 2004 to help raise the Australian birthrate.

The Townsville Mayor did not mince words when describing the troubling conditions from which many of these juvenile offenders hail.

“These kids — speaking to the police and some of the agencies — absolutely come from homes you wouldn’t leave a dog in,” she said, “But the problem is they are having children. They think they don’t need to be responsible. They think being drunk all day and letting children sit in dirty nappies is a great way to go.

“And you’ve got these kids growing up hating everyone”.

“I don’t think we can do much for the kids who are currently a problem, but we really need to think about a whole policy around dealing with the next generation to break that cycle.” 

That last line is typical and gives away the game … her whole spray was about shame and blame, and not part of any solution for the immediate problems, which should be her immediate concern. But this political outhouse rodent knows her constituency,  and she knows they would be dumb enough  to hear the dog whistle and agree with her ‘truth telling’,  which was in fact nothing more than a pointless political polemic.

But there was one usual support group who went completely apeshit over the mayor’s comments … the Townsville branch of the ALP,  Jenny’s own stamping ground for haranguing and branch stacking.

The following correspondence speaks for itself.

But was she wrong? Mayor Mullet was quick to play toe-in-the-dust while looking skyward and whistling a ‘what, me?’ tune, falling back on dishonest semantics. Because she knew that we all knew who she was talking about … she just didn’t get specific for the very reason of this outcome.

But after giving our Thel the rounds of the kitchen by return email,  Jenny took out valuable time from posing for campaign pictures to tap out the following.

‘Absolutely no reference to any racial, cultural or religious group’?  Oh, FFS, c’mon, woman. You didn’t have to, Jen, you know your folks so well.

And HQ was having none of Jenny’s bullshit, and state secretary Kate Flanders told her to put on her big girl industrial undies and handle the matter herself …. well, that was the underlying message of the following, received with lightning speed from Brisbane.

Dear Jenny

Thank you for your email, I have not taken the correspondence as a complaint and will not be dealing with this matter under Party complaint processes. We often receive copies of branch correspondence to elected representatives about topical issues however we do not action those further unless it is specifically requested by the Branch or the elected rep.

I would support your suggestion of visiting the Townsville Branch to talk about the best ways to deal with the complex issues around youth crime and to come to a shared understanding of how ALP members can work together to talk about the common purpose of dealing with these issues.

I know this will be a hot topic in Townsville this year and we all need to be on the same page about how we’ll approach it as a team.

Thank you

Kate Flanders

And dunno about you, but The ‘Pie is excited about the prospect of Jenny Hill making a rare visit to her old branch to talk about shared understanding of how ALP members can work together? If they sell tickets to that one, they’ll go faster than a Taylor Swift Naked Tour. And be way more entertaining.

But Our Mayor Is A Slow Learner

Undeterred,  the Mullet summoned a Bulletin minion, posed prettily again in her new fav blue dress, (the purple doona has been ditched apparently) and made a fumbled attempt talking tough.

 This was just a rehash of her previously aired submission to the Youth Justice Reform Committee, where she variously ‘demanded’ ,  ‘called for’,  or ‘made a plea for’  12 month  mandatory sentencing for range of car and property offences. But lo and bloody behold, the very next day, Jenny Hill is sat on her arse by … would you believe … the Townsville Bulletin iditor.

Yes, as Bob Katter famously said, we must slam shut that revolving door.

And Then, Fightin’ Fran Bounced Out Of Corner

The mayoral contender suddenly showed some of the necessary mongrel to take a dainty nip or two of the bony mayoral backside.

Fran, you don’t know how many people have been waiting for you to take the attack to your opponent, and you mustn’t backslide into timid and polite ways again, you’ve fired your own starting gun and keep up this attitude and you’ll soon hear people coming out to cheer for you.  BTW the answer to your question is that Brisbane stopped listening to Jenny Hill years ago, when they realised she would never gain higher office than local government. And the backroom boys still depend on rusted on labour to keep the state seats, but this year, they’re piddling in their pants big time.

No wonder she’s looking a bit stressed, and she’s getting a bit rattled. Rumour has it that she has asked/told the Buklletyn not to use this photograph again.

Hey,  Jen, be positive, it might not get you any MILF-fancier votes, but there be plenty of old chooks out there clucking on about ‘oh, the poor dear, look at her, works so hard, cops so much nastiness.’

Ladies, from this quarter, she gets as good as she gives.

Boy,  Don’t We Need A Few Blokes In Townsville Like This Fella.

Be a suitable surprise for, say, sewer rats who like to belt old ladies hi-jack their cars .

But if that security guard was a ‘doer’, the talker of the week, was this ACT cop, who fortunately never understood the strangled gargled police speak  deployed at press conferences.  Our man was none to happy with Canberra’s annual hoon-fest … loved his Border IQ Test idea.

And the best one-line description of the week goes to a man who hates seeing his photo in this blog – he hilariously believes The ‘Pie needs his permission to use a pic of him – but The ‘Pie refuses to disappoint the tens of  fans of Professor (adjunct) Col Dwyer, economist and failed bush lawyer.

Anyway, the Astonisher’s economic pet poodle was allowed to wander over the pages for a pee and poop during the week, to tell us how things are going. Basically,  he reckons we’re doing OK, but it would be better except for crime, thank you, Captain Obvious.

But hey, putting all that silliness aside, Col came up with one of the very best descriptions of Townsville dilemma – it’s almost lyrical.

“Townsville is a jewel with an undesirable flaw, an anti-social and repetitional blemish that undermines its full potential.’ . 

Great line, worth repeating. Which I have.  And probably will again sometime.

Please advise The Magpie on copyright law, Col.

The Magpie Reckons This Bloke Could Make A Good Mayor.

Michael Kopittke is a successful businessman with a strong financial background, a fair and balanced take on the present and the possibilities of the future,  and The ‘Pie is told strong integrity in business and governance (he is on the board of the Chamber of Commerce).. He understands finance and he loves Townsville.

Nah, going by the current benchmark, way over-qualified, apparently you don’t need any of those attributes for the Walker Street job.

Here’s Another Bloke Who Would Make A Good Mayor

The Magpie has always had a lot of time for Lex Wotton, whom he knew a little during the Palm island trials, including the one that acquitted Sen Sergeant Chris Hurley of manslaughter after he had clearly fatally injured the man called Mulrunji. (A local senior copper, since moved on, was instrumental in covering for him, blatantly lying on the witness stand.)

Lex Wotton was vilified and stigmatised for his role in the riots sparked by Mulrunji’s death (he was later exonerated). Given all the bogan commentary around those court proceedings,  The ‘Pie found it ironic that Wotton was one of the few Palm Islanders who was not only a qualified tradesman (he’s a plumber) but also didn’t, and as far as The ‘Pie knows, still doesn’t drink. The combination of the two made Lex a rare bird on the oppressed island back then. But he’s a survivor who has immersed himself back in the community, and although aboriginal politics are even more complicated than the flawed white version, perhaps Lex is the man to bring good things to all the Palm islanders.  One things for sure, Lex won’t be running any sly grog onto the island like a previous mayor.

Not such an admirable story for the killer cop, Hurley. Disgusting he was still allowed to wear a uniform, especially as he hasn’t learnt to control his baser instincts, apparently.

Wow Woolies, What Were You Thinking?

The Shovel was prescient.

The real story about this Woolworths’ decision not to stock Australia Day items this year is not the fact itself, but the cack-handed attempt at grandstanding for which there was no real upside. If, as the company’s spinners insist, it was purely a marketing decision based on dwindling demand, fine, that hardly needs announcing at all. But to try and buy into a social and political argument – not an arena corporations should enter  –  imagining they can gain some moral standing by actually or seemingly endorsing an Australia Day date shift, is sheer boardroom lunacy.

So the question is why take such an unnecessary risk which was guaranteed to offer only grief?

Could be because the announcement – possibly winkled out of an incautious executive by a nosey reporter –  came hot on the heels of our treaty and truth-telling enthusiast, Prime Minister AnAl, announcing a former Labor minister, the failed karaoke star Craig Emerson,  to head an ‘independent’ (givvus a break, AnAl!) inquiry into the obvious price gouging by the supermarket duopoly? A little grandstanding grease never hurt, eh, especially when politics is involved with big money.

Anyway, doubt this one will have much legs, because Australians really don’t care much about the actual date, they just don’t like being told to change it because a noisy minority tell us to on some mythical moral grounds.

But The Magpie liked The Shovel’s two views on both subjects.

 And of course, there is another whinge we all love about the big chains but thisb year, the Australia Day storm in a teacup has brought it forward because of Peter Dutton’s foaming call for a boycott.

But we’ll take a Leak for the last word on this.

Oh No  – When A Croquet Champ Is  (Eek!!) A Croquette

Will it never end, this brazen, rampant takeover of sports by all these super-muscled transgender bullies? The rampaging-bull advantage of these cross-over, testosterone-fuelled athletes has now stormed the remaining bastion of female sporting prowess …  now – oh, save us blessed Mother – it’s CROQUET. Aussie Jamie Gumbrell, who recently crossed the gender divide, is now World Champ. It is just fortunate the final winning stroke was just after tea and scones, and the tens of spectators were mostly dozing, otherwise the local constable said there would’ve have been a pitch invasion.  A police spokes-it said, ‘Do you realise the damage a carelessly handled walking frame can do? It was a close call, that.’

And an Aussie, to boot. I tell you, the Poms weren’t happy ... but they never are, really, are they?

Meanwhile, In America …

Sometimes, if marriages last long enough, nothing surprises.

Hilary was swift to react.

Actually probably pretty close to reality … Hilary once famously said of her philandering husband, ‘Bill always a hard dog to keep on the porch’.  The ‘Pie loved her for that if nothing else.

But no surprise that it is Trump’s Theatre of The Absurd has us all mesmerised as he does what we all so fervently hope is his courtroom version of Monty Python’s Black Knight.

Questionable Name Of The Week

Not a person this time, but a park. Check the second last par … how can a council allow a children’s playground to be called Tickle Park.

Finally, Why Boeing Has Gone Boing

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Lots of other stuff floating around, but we save all that for next week. Comments meanwhile are going full bore, hop in. And that donate button is below if you think this old load of cobblers is worth your support.