Also, being the silly season , little of import on the hard news front, but the media continues to amuse.
Names that don’t go with the job … the latest round of mismatches and misfortunes that have recently bobbed up around the place.
Social media continues to make its presence felt, where the #THANKSTONY site has exploded with traffic after the PM announced that his greatest move for women in 2014 was the abolition of the carbon tax. Here’s the best one of a brilliant bunch.
And is the PM’s pedal power under threat? Bentley is alarmed.
In fact, this is where strange names started this week. It brings us to Bentley and his concern with the news that PM Wingnut’s doctor has urged him to ‘give up the lycra,’ because, according to the quoted quack, bike riding is too dangerous. The doctor is – no kidding – Dr Graeme Killer. Of course, a bleary Bentley just heard about dropping the lycra, and jumped to a (hopefully) totally incorrect conclusion, which would hardly stiffen up the PM’s plunging popularity.
No, that’s a bicycle seat, you twisted lot.
The name thing all started when a regular commenter Hercule Poirot noted during the week that Qantas pilot and International Pilots Association Federation President is Nathan Safe – which is nice to know. But less than a day later, a ABC TV news report interviewed a woman involved in training search and rescue people in Torres Strait, who rejoiced in a less than reassuring moniker.
No aspersions intended, Ms Findlater seemed like a professional who wanted to get on with her job – sooner rather than later.
By coincidence, this very subject of quirky appellations was doing the rounds of the inboxes during the week, and Ms Findlater may be comforted to know that it could be worse, especially if she’d got her current position with this name.
Indeed, Ms Drinkwine sounds like the ideal companion for our own Matthew Dunno Dunn (farewell today, bon voyage, and thanks for the fun, Dunno). And The ‘Pie will leave it to your fevered minds to make any link between Kelly and this bloke.
But some are happy to keep their parent’s joke on them and make no attempt to hide from the yukyukkery, like this fella who works behimnd the scenes in movies..
And then there’s either cruel, illiterate and/or hopeful folk who invest in their kids’names.
Like the Coles ad, he’s been down, down but not staying down – KA-CHING.
Oh, stoppit, ya oaf The ‘Pie hears your plaintiff cry, so we’ll stay with names but return to the local scene.
His may be a new face but it’s a familiar name that has just joined the Dudley Do Nothings down at Wishing Well House.
Calum ‘Kousin’ Kippin
Calum Kippin, cousin of ousted TEL CEO David Kippin, has joined the Economic Development unit with the intriguing title of ‘Investment Attraction Officer’.
His appointment, along with Mark Roberts, former GM of Glencore at Mt Isa, looks suspiciously like some window-dressing tinkering with the internal structure of Townsville Enterprise.
Tracey Lines, TEL Economic Development Manager
Unit manager, the capable and VERY ambitious Tracey Lines said the appointments would help deliver better results in 2015. Well, that doesn’t set the bar very high, but Kousin Kippin had better be a wunderkind in his new role.
Freshly minted out of JCU with a Bachelor of Economics (hons) degree, young Mr Kippin toiled (apparently fruitlessly) in the office of Dumbo Jumbo Ewen Jones, from 2011 until January this year. Fruitlessly because in that time, the Jones boy established himself as a bumbling foot-in-mouth local liability who was either not getting or (more likely) not heeding good advice about when to shut up. It would be a bit tough to lumber the junior Kippin with the sins of the self-aggrandising brown-noser from Herbert strutting the halls of Canberra, a pastime he had plenty of time to indulge, being regularly chucked out of the place where he was meant to be representing we mug punters.
Here’s the thing, though. Kousin Kippin’s social CV is blank from last January until he notes his TEL appointment. He told the Astonisher he has spent the time – presumably unpaid, since the CV is blank on this boasting right – in Canberra, getting under the feet of the already amply confused and spooked government foot soldiers. This time spent in the capital prompted him to suggest to the paper that he had a ‘good working relationship with many members of the Abbott Government’. He then shared a smidgin of his wisdom with us that ‘I think it’s important to understand how the process of government works.’ No doubt he will further enlighten us with similar such insights as time go by.
Putting aside The ‘Pie’s sarcastic smart-arsery, the point is that Townsville Enterprise appears to have followed its established course of hiring lightweights. Which is their business, except when it comes to gratefully snatching an annual $700K+ of ratepayers dough to prop them up, while giving no tangible return – well, none that they’re willing to share with said ratepayers. Incidentally, The ‘Pie knows nothing of Mr Roberts (yet), who now polishes a chair in the Industry and Infrastructure office.
A couple of things seem pertinent. Putting on staff at this time of year is interesting in itself, but with both appointments involved in economic development, it’s a fair bet that TEL has got the message that that portfolio is exactly the one that Townsville City councillors are eyeing off for a potential return to Walker Street and direct council control. Indeed, that could eventually end up as a hotly debated council election issue, since EconDev at TEL would take a sizeable chunk of the annual council contribution to their cookie jar. Tracey Lines had better be right about better – and more transparent – results in 2015, otherwise, she may find herself heading for Walker Street as a council employee.
Moving on, and noted in passing, the on-going absence of sub editors was again on display.
The Astonisher on-line gave us this yarn on Wednesday, but the third line of the story was intrguing.
Why Mr Dutton would think his own departure from these shores would frighten bikies is a mystery, but his connection with Adelaide and Melbourne will come as a surprise not only to his former Queensland copper colleagues, but also to the good burghers of the south-east Queensland seat of Dickson, which he has represented since knocking off Feral Cheryl Kernot in 2002.
And why the removal of Gjeka should prove as a warning is unclear – Gjeka was an illegal immigrant, and his situation couldn’t possibly apply to Australian bikies – mores the pity.
Other matters.
A few people have been getting worked up about the suggestion that the next james Bond – when Daniel Craig runs out of puff – could be – gasp! – black! Tipped for the role is pommy actor, the napoleanic-sounding Idris Elba.
Actor Idris Elba
Particularly upset was American radio’s talking pustule Rush Limbaugh, who maintained that Ian Fleming conceived Bond as a Scot, and said making Bond black would be akin to George Clooney playing Barack Obama, or Kelsey Grammar being Nelson Mandela. Limbaugh didn’t take kinto account that his examples are all of real people, whereas – sorry fans but it’s true – Bond is fictional.
This all got The ‘Pie to thinking, and y’know, all sorts of possibilities open up for novel entertainment if racial and even gender lines are crossed. Why, we could possibly see a biopic of our beloved Bob K. (working title ‘The Katters of Kennedy’) in his younger years ….
And never mind the differences in lifestyle, who better than to portray the fun-lovin’ young turk than ….
Bob Downe
Or when our own Mayor Mullet gets her due recognition …
Jenny Mayor Mullet Hill
… let’s not be baulked by racial stereotyping, if first choice Gracelyn Smallwood isn’t available, Urusla Yovich would be just the ticket.
Actress Ursula Yovich
And when he becomes rich and famous, Matt Dunno Dunn …
Matthew Dunno Dunn after a hard day at the keyboard.
… a ready-made star to step into the role.
Finally, forget all those resolutions, they can tangle you up no end. This gal just wanted to start the year with a bang, but boofhead shot himself in the foot, ensuring that 2015 is going ton be a veerrry long year.
Enough now, it is away to Poseurs Bar where I have agreed to a financially suitable arrangement with a lass … no, no, it’s not like that, it’s going to cost HER.
Another couple of vineyards should do it.
