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The Magpie

Sunday, July 11th, 2021   |   126 comments

Should We Love Phillip Thompson, Or Should We Hate Him? Maybe There’s Ample Reason For Both.

The member for Herbert has played our bumbling State Government and our strutting mayor off a break with the announcement of the first two tranches of $195million windfall for City Deal projects. But it’s not all good news – voters will now face the Irish Labourer’s Dilemma. The Magpie explains.

Ironic, though, that it was a dose of her own medicine for Mayor Mullet, because she managed her own political sucker punch on independent councillor Sue Blom, and did it so expertly that Blom probably still doesn’t know what hit her.

But Fran O’Callaghan isn’t daunted by this sort of bullshit – she’s lobbed yet another googly down the political pitch this week. by all reports, it’s driving the Mullet mad.

The Bulletin’s latest love affair with the lawless of this city sets a dangerous precedent, encouraging vigilantism. Of course, the Bulletin admits no such thing, but both the law and the dictionary disagree.

A Magpie exclusive: a new Qld government scheme to honour females who have played a role in Queensland’s progress, with $100,000 statues. The fund has gained instant support from one Townsville group.

Plus our regular gallery from the United States cartoonists and satirists, a couple of very unfortunate headlines and lotsa other larfs along the way.

As usual, the one and only advert you’ll see hereabouts … if you feel your weekly read is worth it, you can support The Magpie’s Nest with a much and always needed donation to meet on-going costs of putting this all together. The big green donate button is at the end of the blog.

But first, enjoy …

It’s Feast Or Famine: From Too Many Jobseekers To Too Few Jabseekers

As the vaccine ‘strollout’ (as Shari Tagliabue cleverly put it) gathered the pace of a golf buggy in an F1 race, suddenly Australians ingrained sense of perversity set in. In between the established camps of the vaxxers and the anti-vaxxers suddenly fell the ‘um, dunno ‘bout that, mate, could be a bit dodgy, like’ crowd – now known as vax hesitaters.

Indeed, it is now a sorry tale of incentives versus disincentives This is a world-wide problem, and as always, America going to incentive lengths unthinkable anywhere else, with instances of free marijuana in Colarado, to at least two states offering guns for those who come to their needle party. Here in Oz, a more modest proposal had the nanny state nincompoops frothy in their cinnamon double jojoba lattes (with, of course,  a twist of kale). A Melbourne pub was ordered to end its offer of a free beer or any other drink for those who had just been vaccinated. The Therapeutic Goods Administration over-reacted and used the technicality of the law to knock a good incentive story stone dead. But not before someone in Canberra contradicted his own laws.

Screen Shot 2021-07-10 at 11.41.51 pm

Now Bentley is wondering if his incentive brain wave might contravene some obscure law, which he is sure falls within the scope of the – ahem – Therapeutic Good Times Administration.

Jig - a jig finl

Yes, it’s a jigsaw puzzle.

In fact, overall and by general comparison, we were doing so well as we worked our way through the thickets of pop-up regulations and a few inane decisions, we weren’t to fussed as a nation … that is, until Scotty From Marketing got into the act and demonstrated why he left marketing to do something else. And do it just as badly, as it turns out. Put as politely as he uncharacteristically can, The Magpie suggests our prime minister is a clueless, panicked buffoon. As reflected in the view of those spoofers from The Shovel.

Shovel pathway Screen Shot 2021-07-05 at 11.35.01 am

But the Australian media just cannot help itself, one moment screaming headlines about one-in-10-million chances of a blood clot before decrying such scare mongering. So they fell about hungry jackals when this story dropped into their daily menu.

Erectile dysfunction Screen Shot 2021-07-08 at 8.16.47 pm

This story deserves The Ironyman Award of the Week, suggesting that if blokes get the jab, they won’t be able to get a stiff, but if they don’t get the jab, they run the risk of becoming, entirely and permanently, a stiff.

Silly ol’ world, innit?

Just For The Record

 Risk of blood clots image001

Jenny Hill Proves She’s An Old Pro –Politically That Is

Jenny Hill

The Magpie
7,479 approved
email hidden; JavaScript is required
Submitted on 2021/07/05 at 10:14 pmCynicism is such an inadequate word when it comes to our dear Mayor Mullet, but Christ, does she know how to play the game of deceitful council politics. Especially against a wide-eyed innocent like Clr Sue Blom.

When The ‘Pie saw this, he laughed so hard he almost did himself a mischief.

OUTRAGE over the secret cost of State of Origin Game One on the Townsville community has sparked a push to change commercial in confidence rules.
Division 2 councillor Sue Blom and Mayor Jenny Hill will draft a motion to take to the Local Government Association of Queensland conference to push for more transparency when spending ratepayers’ funds.
Townsville City Council was unable to reveal how much money it spent on the Origin bid and events with a commercial in confidence clause put in place.
While the game was expected to generate millions, with the official dollar figure still unknown, there was concern it may not benefit the community as much as initially thought.

So here’s what has transpired.

Last week, Clr Sue Blom tried to table a motion to stop the mostly arrant nonsense of hiding council expenditure in sensitive areas behind bogus claims of the matter being ‘commercial in confidence.’ After an awkward few moments of mock surprise, the Spider then said to the Fly, ‘No, no , oh, dearie me, no no, m’dear, I have a much better idea. Let’s you and me buddy up, gals together and all that, and write a motion on this very pertinent issue – and put it to the the Local Government Association of Queensland conference next October.’ With a straight face and a gobful of unmeltable butter, Mayor Mullet explained that in that way, the matter could be decided for the benefit of ALL councils in Queensland, rather than just Townsville. And Mayor Mullet enjoyed the cherry on top of this flummery that she is now seen to be ‘reaching out’ and embracing ideas from an ‘independent councillor.

So our independent councillor from the northern beaches withheld her Blom bombshell, and agreed to the idea, not ever – or even now – realising how effectively her bomb has been defused.

You see, Susie, darlin’, Mayor Mullet is on the LGAQ board, which, as a money making lobby group, knows how to orchestrate conference votes to get the desired outcome. And do you really believe that that a conference of Queensland mayors is going to vote for more transparency of their financial matters, when across the state, there have been instances of on-going rorts, featherbedding or at best slack accounting practices? And why would Townsville Council be even remotely interested in what other councils do. No, the correct forum for such a debate in right here in Walker Street.

But wait, there’s more.

Even IF the LGAQ conference were to pass some sort of watered-down, ambiguously worded motion IT WOULD BE TOTALLY POINTLESS. The LGAQ is a private, money-making (and financially unaccountable to the public) lobby group and has absolutely NO POWERS OF ENFORCEMENT. Well, none short of expelling any council that doesn’t toe their line, and that is not going to happen with this truly venal organisation which rakes in untold millions (and they are untold) getting a cut of from council contracts, provision of insurance cover, and from technology services, from which they also get a handsome cut with the technology services being outsourced to a favoured company. And that doesn’t even touch on the millions of dollars in membership fees it charges its 70 or member councils.

Jenny Hill is right at home on the board of the LGAQ.

But it is nice to see that our mayor is brimming with enough confidence to assume she will be there in October and not … well, somewhere else.

The Problem With Phillip

As in Thompson.

Phillip Thompson Screen Shot 2021-01-06 at 11.16.43 am

The $195million windfall for Townsville projects wasn’t exactly your classic Liberal coalition pork barrelling, it was actually the result of a ruinous bit of political hubris by our state treasurer Cameron ‘by name and by nature’ Dick. He stamped his foot, made up some malarkey about GST and refused to accept the money which had been earmarked for Pipeline Stage 2.  So the Feds then promptly handed it over the local member to fund projects he and a task force deemed worthy for Townsville.

The mayor made demands, threatened to ‘cut’ the federal member, and has been fruitlessly squawking and flapping ever since, aided by George Street’s political delaying tactics, but it all bounced off Thompson, biding his time and refusing to be rushed.

And now the federal member for Herbert has yet again outflanked Mayor Mullet, in essence telling her ‘You named the game, now I’ll show you how to play it.’ And show her he has , courtesy of Federal Cities Minister Paul Fletcher, who stepped in to put an end to Hill, Palaszczuk and Miles putting up endless road blocks to projects that were not high enough on their own priority list. Instead, the first two beneficiaries – Reef HQ and the Royal Flying Doctor base – were decided by the feds, who used legislation enabling them to by-pass George Street and the mayor. The Bulletin welcomed the start of the end of this political game playing stalemate.

cities deal RFDS & Reef HQ Screen Shot 2021-07-09 at 10.28.07 am Screen Shot 2021-07-10 at 5.32.00 pm Screen Shot 2021-07-09 at 10.38.33 am

Now in any other city, this positive news would be embraced by the city’s leaders, but time and again, Jenny Hill has proved this isn’t any other city. Completely blindsided by Canberra’s intervention, she took more than 24 hours to react, because she knew she’d been yet again walloped. Her response was as graceless as a ferret  rapidly reversing out of a rabbit hole where it had encountered a bunny that fought back.  This is how she gtreeted the news in a media release.

Townsville City Council will continue to work with the Queensland and Australian governments to find agreement on projects to be funded under the Townsville City Deal.

Mayor Jenny Hill said she welcomed the Australian Government’s announcement today of grants for two local projects.

“Council welcomes the Federal Government’s announcement of grants to fund the refurbishment of ReefHQ and to upgrade and expand the Royal Flying Doctor Service base,” Cr Hill said.

“Council will continue to work for agreement from all three levels of government on projects to be funded with the $195 million promised by the Prime Minister for Townsville under the City Deal.

“Projects that would deliver the secure, long-term jobs and set Townsville up for the next 20-30 years.

“Projects like the Lansdown Industrial Precinct, which has the potential to support around 160 construction jobs and around 1600 ongoing jobs in its first stage, as well as more than 9100 indirect jobs.

“Or the North Queensland Simulation Park, NQ SPARK, which is to be built in Douglas between James Cook University, Townsville University Hospital and Lavarack Barracks.

“This project is expected to support around 280 jobs during construction and more than 800 ongoing and indirect jobs.

“These are just two of the shovel-ready, future-proofing projects that should be funded under the City Deal.

“I urge the Federal Minister and the Member for Herbert to continue to abide by the terms of the Townsville City Deal and work with Council and the Queensland Government for the benefit of the Townsville community.

“You only have to look at the transformational impact of Queensland Country Bank Stadium, delivered under the City Deal, to see why all levels of government should continue to work together.”

That mysterious last line has sent many into deep contemplation.  Please, Madam Mayor, describe the ‘transformational impact’ Total Tools Stadium has had on anything anywhere. Certainly not the CBD. (And certainly not the hapless Cowboys, but that’s another matter.)

The mayor’s response was sullen, sulking and ungracious, the hallmark of this hubristic woman when she realises she’s been beaten at her own game.

So What’s The Downside?

So Phillip Thompson, who roundly and in detail rejected the mayor’s claims that these announced projects did not fall within the City Deal guidelines, has flattened her again.

But there’s a big problem. Many have welcomed and admired the Thompson team’s political smarts as a long overdue breath of fresh air in devising ways to play one of the most underhand (and inept) operatives ever to sit in Walker Street (and that’s saying something). However, Thompson’s success presents voters with an agonising decision, one that reminds The ‘Pie of the Irish labourer, who was shown three shovels against a wall and told to take his pick. Paddy, like Townsville voters, will be confused.

Because Thompson has done and will continue to do positive things for this city,  and he will in all likelihood be deservedly re-elected. But the big downside is that if retains his seat, that will go a long way towards re-installing one of the most unsavoury, incompetent and dangerous prime ministers ever to inhabit the Lodge.

Any PM who makes Tony Abbott or even Kevin Rudd look like high-IQ statesmen of probity by comparison needs to seek God’s forgiveness and guidance – but God’s not available, ever since Barnaby Beetroot came back as Nats leader, the good Lord’s been too busy slapping his thigh, thundering with mirth and RRHLHAO* at our prime minister. *(Rolling Round Heaven etc).

Indeed, a rumour coming down the Royal Telephone is that the Big Guy is constantly grumbling that he wished Smirko would stop endorsing him. ‘It’s bad for business,’ he is reported to have said, ‘Too many punters opting for the alternative. And better bloody not try to lay his hands on me.’

Fran Keeps Rolling In The Unpinned Grenades

The latest FB post from the woman many wish were our mayor.

Fran FB header Screen Shot 2021-06-25 at 10.13.25 am

Fran FB latest Screen Shot 2021-07-10 at 5.43.03 pm

She’s not going to go away, you know … God bless her.

Yet Again, The Bulletin Promotes Lawlessness

From comments this week.

The Magpie
7,479 approved
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Submitted on 2021/07/07 at 3:04 pmTHEY’RE AT IT AGAIN.

Have you irresponsible bastards not learned anything from the death of Jennifer Board last February?

The Bulletin continues to give tacit approval to vigilante actions, even although one such incident earlier this year cost a young woman her life, and another matter saw a man penalised for reckless driving in chasing and ramming a stolen car.

And in the latest case, ignorance or laziness again become the paper’s reporting hallmarks. From a front page story, clearly sympathetic to the vigilante …

Fred Dart whstory Screen Shot 2021-07-07 at 10.14.35 am

… to an inside spread as the bloke states his view of the world, his actions and the unfairness of it all.

Fred Dart inside spread Screen Shot 2021-07-07 at 10.14.09 am

With not a single word of balance, the paper lets Fred Dart play the wronged hero, giving chase to a stolen car, talking on the phone to the police while doing so and reaching dangerous speeds in an urban area.

Wait a minute, Fredrick Dart? Would that be the Fredrick Dart who is numbered amongst Queensland 24 listed ‘vexatious litigants’ for persistently refusing to accept the rule of law. Yes, that’s him, and it’s a family affair, his mother and father on the same list.
Screen Shot 2021-07-07 at 10.26.07 am Screen Shot 2021-07-07 at 10.25.53 am

Father Syd is one of the more infamous litigant pests Townsville has produced , and it seems his boy has learned well at his father’s knee, as he self-promoted himself in the Astonisher.
Mr Dart said he was “not afraid” to fight back against the system and stand up for something he believed in.
“Part of my growing up with my dad was stand up and be counted,” he said.
“If you think you are right, be upfront and prepared to pursue it.
“I thought I was right and I am going to give it a go. Worst comes to worst I still lose my licence, I still pay the $1200 fine.”

Well, Fred, you’ve stood up to be counted, you’ve been counted out and yet, like father like son, you don’t accept the magistrate’s ruling. While the paper makes you out to be a hero, and you claim your action were not those of a vigilante, the law and the dictionary beg to differ. A vigilante is described as someone who takes the law into his now hands without an alleviating excuse. And chasing a stolen car at high speed is not a reason a court is likely to consider. if you think it through, Fred, if you made a successful appeal (you won’t but let’s pretend), that would be giving license to ever half baked arsesole who thinks it is smart to endanger other road users in Hollywood car chases.

Mate, cop it sweet, you got pinged by a speed camera, so really, take your losses … the fact that you were engaged in a dangerous pursuit (if the thieves knew you were after them, they would possibly have panicked and as we know, bad things happen in stolen cars). And hope the phone you were on was hands free, otherwise you might have faced a much more severe penalty.

And for those at the Astonisher who will say that Mr Dart’s previous stand-off with the courts is irrelevant, you are backing a person who is known to previously not accept the rule of law … readers should at least be entitled to known that, because anything Mr Dart says is open to more question than the normal speeding whinger.

You deserve a theme song, Mr Dart, how about’ Wrong Said Fred.’


The Silliest Kiddy Headline Of The Week

Hey, if it sounds like a bit of good tough talkin’, that’s close enough, don’t worry about the meaning.

 Screen Shot 2021-07-10 at 1.54.43 pm  

Apply the blow torch?? One has to be in a position of power and influence to ‘apply the blow torch’ i.e. exert pressure on someone or something. And if any of you kiddybids believe TEL has power and influence over anything, let alone the Queensland Government, you are in the wrong business.

But what is The ‘Pie saying, silly old bird – it’s clear that just about all of you ARE in the wrong business.

Practical wisdom

From The Guardian’s media column:

“Older experienced minds have been replaced with younger and cheaper folks,” a retired journalist has told a survey of people formerly known as journalists. “No criticism of them.”

The authors of Upheaval: Disrupted Lives in Journalism, Matthew Ricketson and Andrew Dodd, wrote in the Conversation that amid redundancies and outsourcing, the loss of informal mentoring by senior journalists was a less visible blow to the industry.

On a brighter note, they say that wisdom is still out there, and former journalists are still willing to share it.

“Collectively they are a repository of what Aristotle called practical wisdom,” they wrote.

A phrase which is a doleful reminder of the time an Australian prime minister referred to ‘the suppository of all wisdom.’

Statues Of Limitations

This small item has excited interest among one sector of our community.

Staue grants Screen Shot 2021-07-06 at 8.45.29 am

Dear Statue Grants Person,

We represent a large and very active section of the Townsville community, so we humbly submit the following for your urgent consideration.

Townsville is an ideal location for multiple grants under your scheme to honour females who have had the greatest effect on our city’s current situation, and suggest that Soroptimists’ Park would be a fitting symbolic spot to create an area dedicated to the project you fund.

We the undersigned believe multiple commemorative statues of past and present local female luminaries is nothing less than our wilfully neglected organisation deserves. So we have chosen just a few to honour for your consideration, and the sculptor will find them all easy to work with, since they all have all demonstrated great skill and practice in posing – Jenny Hill, Adele Young, Coralee O’Rourke, Kathy O’Toole from the local scene, and being proud Queenslanders, it would be fitting for images of Anna Palaszczuk, Jackie Trad and Jeanette Young to be included. If you feel this list is too white-centric, room could be made for Gracelyn Smallwood.

Such a series of grants would go a long way towards correcting the shameful imbalance in the Townsville community that has been wilfully neglected for decades – the disgraceful lack of public toilet facilities for our long suffering members, who have hitherto had to queue up for the Captain Towns statue near Victoria Bridge.

Yours incontinently,

C Gull and P.Igeon for ISAPOT

(Incontinent Seagulls And Pigeons Of Townsville.)

Pigeons Screen Shot 2021-07-07 at 9.41.19 am


Some Tweets Noted During The Week

The ‘Pie loves this text, he would so dearly love to do his own version for some of the abusive commenters to the blog.


Is this the most unfortunate headline of the week, is it a mistake or a snide joke? Either way, it makes you reach for a wire brush to scrub the image off your eyeballs.

Banks headline Screen Shot 2021-07-06 at 12.11.39 pm

And another headline open to wide interpretation. For once, The ‘Pie is willing to believe the Astonisher.

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But we sincerely hope this one is just a poor choice of words, or otherwise, full body searches have been taken to a new level, and the coppers are really going to be sticking it to us.

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From The United States

Donald Trump is like herpes …. he just won’t go away, and boy, is he sore.

The ex-mobster president  has announced he is suing Facebook, Twitter and Google, all the platforms which booted him after he used them to encourage the January insurrection on the capitol and promote the delusional  lies about a stolen election and voter fraud. But in the typical style we have been trying to forget, Donny has it all arse up when he says he will claim the tech giants violated his First Amendment rights to free speech. This man, once president of the United States, doesn’t seem to know that the first amendment DOES NOT apply to private companies, as pointed out across almost all media, like NBC.

Trump argued that the suspension of his social media accounts amounts to an infringement on the First Amendment’s guarantee that speech won’t be curtailed by the government. Fundamental to that case is his relatively novel contention that the major tech firms function as arms of the federal government rather than as private companies.

This has proved to be pure comedy gold for the likes of Andy Borowitz in the New Yorker, among many.

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But the new man in the White House is coming in for his licks from the comedians too, which is where we start this week’s round-up.

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And finally …

…another tweet. It will shock you.

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Another week down to experience, not that many of our notables have learnt much from it. Plenty to talk about in comments, anything that’s on your mind, join in the fray. And if you can help out with costs, the donation button in below.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. Interested observer says:

    OMG, what a week.
    Phil Thompson pulls Jenny’s pants down on funding for local projects; Jenny “negotiates” yet another ratepayer handout to secure a second dose of V8 Superpest disruption for residents; our local (once family) newspaper trumpets, with cringeworthy titilating photos to demonstrate what’s on offer after the noise stops for the day, the import of extra prostitutes to cater for the demand from visiting V8 fans; and the Cowboys somehow manage to get flogged 46-18 by the Sydney Roosters despite leading by 10 points at halftime.
    Thank God Ash Barty won Wimbledon and the longshot I backed in the seventh race at Randwick didn’t run last.
    Never a dull moment in Townsville.
    Time for a couple of Panadol Extra and a good lie down.

    • The Magpie says:

      But second last doesn’t pay.

    • NQ Gal says:

      A second round of the Supercars has also meant that events booked a year in advance for the Civic Theatre have been summarily cancelled.

    • Disinterested Perverter says:

      The fact the Cowgirls played South Sydney and were DOWN by 10 at halftime says pretty much everything about how fuckin irrelevant and unreliable your banter is.

      • Interested observer says:

        Ok bored deviot, the Cows were up by 10 after 20 minutes and down 10 at half time.
        But what are you actually getting at? Is getting belted 46-18 after being 10 points in front a good performance in your view?
        Are you the coach, one of the players, or one of the board members?

  2. Mike Douglas says:

    Townsville gets $55 mil for projects from the Feds and the best our Mayor can say is they are not ” future building ” . We know our Mayor loves to talk “future building ” and May 2020 set up Taskforce NQ as Chair she stated ” it was essential the entire region recovered from the devastating impacts of COVID ” so what has the Chair of the Taskforce achieved and what cost to Townsville , Burdekin , Charter Towers Councils with ex ceo Mike Chiodo at the helm for a period ? . Perhaps another question for our two independent Councillors . Was the Mayor “future building ” when she backed Virgin and told us not to fly Qantas . Speaking of not playing Politics , Albo was in Cairns last week and then seemed to by pass Townsville to Mackay . Could that be because Labor hasnt got a candidate to take on Phil Thompson so politically Townsville isnt a focus . Congratulations to Ash Barty for showing true humble character after winning Wimbledon .

    • The Magpie says:

      Mike, you’ve put your finger on a matter which The ‘Pie has been meaning to take up for some time. Jenny Hill’s ‘regional’ agenda, no doubt driven by her ambitions of using the LGAQ as a launch pad, are damaging to Townsville … it’s time, without being ungenerous to our neighbouring communities, to pull back in from playing ‘Big Mother’ in the region, that role will unfold naturally if we focus on this city’s core strengths and possibilities. The damage the mayor’s insidious personal agenda is doing is exemplified in her confidence trick of deflecting the issue of transparency to an LGAQ conference ‘ so all council’s can fall into line’ (my arse). The business of the elected Townsville councillors and mayor has absolutely zero core business with what other councils do, it is Jenny Hill’s addiction to secrecy that is the issue here, and the serious questions it raises about her governance of THIS city.

  3. Dave of Kelso says:

    Greetings Dear ‘Pie,
    Picture worth a 1,000 words in the cartoon about women’s rights and trans rights, so called.

    Has this matter been sorted out, or are men who want to be women really going to compete against women who want to be women?

  4. Prince Rollmop says:

    Interesting to see Mike Choadblower’s name mentioned. How is his sabbatical going? Is he still taking it easy or has he been gifted another cushy Labor role somewhere? TCC seems to love hiring these retiree or part-time CEO’s these days.

  5. One legged tap dancer says:

    A worrying 77 new covid cases in Sydney overnight and the NRL is looking at relocating all the Sydney based clubs, and possibly even all the others, to covid-free Queensland.
    Now Jenny and Anna please take note – you don’t need to pay them to come.
    If any teams are relocated to Townsville WE will doing THEM a big favour, so take a cold shower Jenny and Anna, and stop wasting our money.
    Yes, its our money, not yours.
    And while you’re at it, ask the V8 Superpests for our money back.

  6. fwyp says:

    Hi ‘Pie,

    I was trying to find the science behind the current health directives, but no luck there. I did find this document.

    It’s from our delightful CHO/Gov In Waiting, and is of interest for a couple of points. The bits copied below are not quoted in full, but I will add what I think they mean, and wonder at their importance in this extremely long legal document.

    The requirements under paragraph 16 do not apply:
    If a person is undergoing dental or medical care
    Examples – a person escaping a fire

    (I.e., you don’t have to wear a mask if you have your mouth open at the dentist, or if you are escaping from a fire. Hopefully self-evident?)

    High risk businesses, activities and undertakings:
    Adult entertainment venues (strip clubs), brothels, sex on premises venues and sole operator sex workers
    No dancing, with the exception of performers.

    (The only restriction for punters at brothels, etc, is that they cannot dance with the performers, but the performers can What about social distancing?).


    • Dave of Kelso says:

      Excellent research.

      ?? At brothels cannot dance with the performers??

      I thought that the whole idea of attending a brothel was to engage in horizontal folk dancing with the ‘performers’.

  7. NQ Gal says:

    Australian Concerto and Vocal Competition

    • The Magpie says:

      This is presumably one of the events to hit the wall because of the V8 Superpests second week, cutting off the Civic Theatre and the city council has been too pissweak in providing any other viable venues for anything. Jenny hill’s double-cross of the community on the stadium/entertainment/convention centre concept is now being felt … all because a hoon in every sense is in charge.

      PS In all honesty though, The ‘Pie has never heard of the ACVC and most certainly has not noticed anything over the years in the paper.

      • The last Bulletin reader says:

        The cancellation didn’t rate a mention in the Bulletin, I wonder why, see the ACVC facebook page for more background and community reaction.

      • The last Bulletin reader says:

        A quick clarification Magpie, the Civic Theatre and ACVC issue could have been mentioned on the pages of coverage of the V8s which I didn’t read.
        It is interesting that the first mention I have seen is a letter to the editor on the cancellation from a person in New Town Tas.

      • Jenny Wren says:

        I wrote an email to Cr Liam Mooney 2 days ago expressing my displeasure about the cancellation as he is the representative from the council for ACVC among other groups.
        From TCC website

        Townsville Youth Council
        Concerto and Vocal Competition

        I have not received a reply of any sort, very disappointing.

    • Charlie Wulguru. says:

      NQ Gal… Did you notice who the first ‘Sponsors and Partners’ are on their page. There was an interesting interview by Ray Dickson on ABC Radio on Saturday morning with Dr. Mark Smith, the President of ACVC on the disgraceful way they were treated by The TCC. Pathetic.

  8. Elusive Butterfly says:

    Mr. Pie, last week you castigated me for using the word “poisonous” when referring to the latest Townsville Enterprise CEO, Ms, Claudia Brummer-Smith.
    You were right!
    She is not poisonous but dangerous!
    Ms. Brummer-Smith, who, to my knowledge, has no marketing skills or qualifications, demands to be heard to the point of ridiculous.
    First, we had the “Tent City”…no doubt her idea, then we had the TE “survey” of Townsville businesses affected by a three-day lockdown, and, now, this, from your “casual” mate from the Bulletin, Tony Raggart.

    “Townsville Enterprise on Friday put a proposed $1.5 million flight incentive scheme to the State Government which it said would generate around 18,000 inbound passengers and about $12m of visitor expenditure.”

    Hang your head in shame Mr. Raggart.
    You used the word “would” not “could”.
    18,000 passengers, $12m in expenditure…what are you and Ms. Brumme-Smith smoking?
    I reiterate Mr. Pie…this woman recklessly, demands to be heard .
    She is dangerous, and, might just be the reason TE is finally dissolved and a professional marketing body set up in this city.
    Any thoughts Jenny??

    • The Magpie says:

      Your opinion of Ms BS (luv it!!) is a matter for you but why would Raggatt hang his head in shame, pray tell? You don’t seem to have much of a grasp on journalism … you will note that he was quoting as in ‘it said would…’. It is nonsensical to blame a journalist for quoting what an interview subject (or no doubt in most Bulletin cases, what a media release) said, and the younglings at the Astonisher and elsewhere only run into trouble when they stray into personal opinion, which is not the case here. You’re a tad too eager to find targets that don’t exist … and run the danger of making a goose of yourself … indeed, if printed here, it would make you ….ummm… a magpie goose maybe?

    • Critical says:

      I’d love to see the detailed business case and associated budget calculations, where 18,000 visitors going to be accomodated, where they are going to visit etc. for this rather incredulous submission to the state government. The idea of publicly detailing and publishing the KPI’s and outcome measures that against each KPI that formed part of the business case is probably like hoping for snow in Townsville for Christmas. Who knows what would happen if they had to publicly publish an outcome and financial report for any funding if TEL was successful

  9. Elusive Butterfly says:

    And, Mr. Pie, your “casual” mate Tony couldn’t even get the dates right.

    “The city was shut down with a few hours’ notice for three days from June 22.”

    Townsville was shut down on July 29.
    Might be time for you to apply for a nice cushy number in the council’s PR department Tones??

  10. Achilles says:

    Told ya; if she won or lost she’d still get an “Ash” tray. Bloody well done you professional dignified rarity, you make us all proud.

  11. Dave of Kelso says:

    Further to the dilemma that if we get the very excellent Phillip Thompson, we may get Scotty from Marketing, read and weep how the Australian Government fucked up negotiations with Pfizer, mid last year, and how, outside of government Australian business men are dealing directly with Pfizer to get the vaccine Australia needs. (Sorry, long sentence.)

    I am not of the Left, but this does cause me great concern, as did opposition to the Banking Royal Commission.


    • Marvin the Magician says:

      How funny and yet embarrassing is that – the sociopathic Krudd doing the work our PM should be doing. The sociopathic Turnbull has apparently done something similar (not that son Alex would benefit financially from his big pharma portfolio and connections). Surely Morrison can see his future slipping away before his eyes. I just hope Albo has a real machine gun campaign ready for next year as this is shaping up to be the election that Labor can’t lose. Team Morrison and his Nationals weirdo’s are an abysmal failure. What a bunch of fucking inbreds when it comes to the handling of COVID, our economy, the environment and the China relationship. Complete dipshits.

  12. Cantankerous but happy says:

    Townsvilles median house price is now over $100,000 lower than Cairns, a staggering outcome when you think of the horrible year Cairns has had with Covid. Cairns dwelling approvals have also been running high as well, adding much needed supply into the market, but still the prices keep rising. What this shows is you don’t need big brain fart projects to attract quality people and investment, people are looking for lifestyle with services, public transport and quality local places to spend time, nice restaurants and bars. Unless someone has family or a specific job that requires them to be here, Townsville just fails in these areas and continues to go backwards in attracting new residents.

    • Cop It Sweet says:

      Interesting trend in Qld vs the other States . Over 30,000 have
      relocated to Qld from other States and one assumes of the 500,000 returning
      overseas expats Qld has probably picked up 180,000 of them = total 3.5%
      population growth .

    • Uber Soldier says:

      Townsville is a hot, dry, shithole. Cairns is much nicer with more reef, rainforests, tourism and no Jenny Hill. Of course it’s a nicer option than our effluent overflowing city. Yes, they have Sleepy Bob Manning but otherwise it’s not a bad hub. Don’t get me wrong, I love Townsville, however it does not measure up to Cairns.

      • The Magpie says:

        Comparisons are odious, as the saying has it. It’s a bit like penis envy, we’re not going to getter better let alone grow by jealously looking elsewhere. The ‘Pie has said it for 20 years and it still holds true … Cairns in Tinsletown and Townsville should be MuscleTown … industry and commerce, with tourism being event based. It is a simple fact that Cairns is visually more attractive than Townsville to the southern mindset with its palm trees, lush greenery, cable cars, vintage trains, a variety of holidaymaker shallow entertainment diversions and more accessible reef trips. Townsville won’t progress very far until we stop making these pointless comparisons leading to juvenile statements that we live in a ‘hot, dry shithole’. We need a reality shot to start working to out strengths, and we need competent leadership in all relevant organisations to achieve that.

        • Cantankerous but happy says:

          Exactly my point Pie, Townsville can be a nice place to live as well, it’s different to Cairns but has some equally nice places as well. People only need to think back a decade ago and how Townsville was then, it was a great place to be. The longer we continue to struggle with the current fuckwits we have running the place the longer it will take to repair, and the $100k gap to Cairns will just grow, it will attract more quality people and Townsville will attract the people who can’t afford to live anywhere else.

  13. Prince Rollmop says:

    Fran isn’t going away in a hurry. Her Facebook dialogue is brilliant. She is a smart woman with excellent businesses sense and she is proving that she is actually interested in performing the job of a true Councillor which is to look after the needs of the community in a transparent fiscal manner. Which is the opposite to the Mullets method of subterfuge, obsfucate and deceive. Now, if only the other Councillors could grow a set of balls and do as they are paid to do we would seem some real change in Townsville.

  14. Last Drinks says:

    Scummo did not leave the Tourism Boards of Australia and New Zealand on his own accord. He was sacked by both. Sacked by Australian Tourism for committing massive financial impropriety, allegedly. Protected by the former Lib Minister who sacked him, but wont release the reasons.

    • Scomosexual says:

      No way, Scotty sacked? Why would they punt an honest god-fearing man like Scotty? Did he not wear some kind of traditional clothing? Or did he watch a movie or some TV (they aren’t allowed to do that). Poor old Scotty.

    • Westie says:

      So how do YOU know, then?

      • The Magpie says:

        Oh, c’mon Last Drinks only allegedly knows but not sure whether it, a known Unknown, Unknown Known, or an Unknown Unknown. Ps that’s his feet sticking out of his arse.

        • Prince Rollmop says:

          Well said Pie. You got me thinking about that parasite Donald Rumsfeld when he said;
          “Reports that say that something hasn’t happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns—the ones we don’t know we don’t know. And if one looks throughout the history of our country and other free countries, it is the latter category that tends to be the difficult ones”.

      • Last Drinks says:

        Common knowledge.
        Scott Morrison was sacked as managing director of Tourism Australia in 2006 with a year left to run on his contract. For 14 years the reason for the sacking has remained one of the best kept secrets in Parliament. Documents accessed reveal the PM either lied about a critical probity report, or numerous government departments and agencies are so incompetent that all of them – together, coincidentally, jointly and severally – lost it.

        Scott Morrison was sacked as managing director of Tourism Australia in 2006 with a year left to run on his contract. For 14 years the reason for the sacking has remained one of the best kept secrets in Parliament, with the Liberal tourism minister at the time, Fran Bailey, never revealing what led to the sacking of the man who went on to become Prime Minister of Australia.

  15. Mr jinks says:

    With all the talk about getting vaccinated to get back to freedom, as said by our so called leaders. When are the 32% of people who have had at least one Covid shot going to start seeing that freedom???? No masks, no check in’s, no lockdowns? Just like the countries that are using the same vaccines.

    • Alahazbin says:

      Mr Jinks, Just visited my Doctor. He says that wearing of masks in doctors surgeries will continue until 85% of the population are vaccinated.

      • Mr jinks says:

        That will never happen. And I’d love to know how they count that number. 85% will never at any one time be vaccinated. History shows that any vaccine with that much uptake or higher means children will need to be getting it early. It another control measure by our political parties to make them feel powerful. I remember my folks saying to me get your kids vaccinated but let them get sick because eventually what ever it is gets weaker naturally. Did we ever have lockdown for measles or whooping cough?

        • The Magpie says:

          And that likely percentage has plummeted even further with the release of one of the wrong-headed ads ever, urging young people to get vaccinated … EXACTLY the demographic that CANNOT get vaccinated under the present guidelines. The ‘Pie is betting any thoughts of an early election have been canned, with Smirko in damage control over what has been called by more than one expert ‘the single greatest public health disaster in Australian history.’

        • Alahazbin says:

          Mr Jinx, Lucky polio isn’t around these days.

  16. The Magpie says:


    Couldn’t have happened to a nice bunch of scummy, low-life cheating supporters …. presumably lost because they forgot to bring spare batteries for the lasers.

  17. Alahazbin says:

    Questions being asked when will Puddleduck close the border off to NSW. Well, we gotta get all those NRL teams into the state first, then close it off.
    Go the mighty $.

  18. Coveffe says:

    Mr Magpie, I know you aren’t a huge fan of links but this one is worthy of viewing. Old mate Alan Jones cuts loose on our incompetent and disconnected politicians and he does a ‘Paul Murray’ and highlights some of the real statistics and associated risks of COVID while comparing the so-called cure of lockdown after lockdown with the massive effect on our once robust economy. Nine interesting minutes. And the link isn’t hidden behind a gaywall so it is free to view! And yes, this is relevant to Townsville because our economy has taken a bartering Sue to draconian Federal and State Government measures they have forced on us, and continue to enforce nation wide.


    • The Magpie says:

      Sorry, tried all permutations but ‘…a bartering Sue’ has got The ‘Pie stumped. And a ‘gaywall’? Straights not allowed to read it?
      And to be clear, The ‘Pie is not a huge fan of LONG links. This one is longish but worth it. The ‘Pie rarely agrees with Mother Jones, but like the legendary stopped clock that’s right about twice a day … sometimes he gets it right, and eloquently.

    • The Magpie says:

      From The Shovel:

  19. The Wulguru Wonder says:

    Just wondering if anyone has heard any more about one of Mayor Mullet’s “visionary projects”, the installation of two “solar trees” in Central Park.

    This $8M project ($6.5M Qld Govt & $1.5M TCC), which Mayor Mullet is quoted as saying would “have a huge impact on the local economy and activate the CBD” was announced in June 2020 with construction to start in July 2020 and be completed by April 2021.

    Perhaps it has joined the Strand Lagoon and Castle Hill zip line as more of a mirage than a vision.

    • The Magpie says:

      Bulletin reporter: Mayor Hill, why haven’t the promised solar trees in Centra Park on the way to the stadium been delivered? They were promised to be completed in April this year.
      Mayor Mullet: COVID
      Bulletin reporter: How did COVID have anything to do with the delay?
      Mayor Mullet: Sorry, that’s commercial in confidence.
      Bulletin reporter: (Thanks Jenny, great interview.)
      Mayor Mullet: (You’re welcome, put on page 18, please. And tell the bloody editor to stop talking about that fucking Fran woman, and bloody Phillip Thompson, too, or I’ll have his guts for garters … I’ll cut him well and good.)

      • The Last Samurai says:

        Jenny Hill couldn’t cut her way out of a wet paper bag, even with my sword! She gets others in her managerie to do all the heavy lifting/dirty work!

  20. Guy says:

    I disagree

    Townsville has MORE things to do and see than Cairns.

    Townsville has vast beachfront from the strand to shelly Beach – Cairns has none.

    It has museums, an aquarium and the road network to all these places is quick and easy – not so cairns.

    When you are done with Townsville you can drive west to charters towers and the dinosaur trail.

    Instead of spending 350 million on a stadium used sparingly in the year , imagine if we had spent 1 million on creating 350 different and UNIQUE places/ bolstering existing places

    1 million for Townsville Museum to be relocated into a more central location ??

    1 million for the road across Townsville Common to be reopened to shelly Beach

    1 million for a birdwatching tower to be built on Townsville Common ideally near the concrete Bunker

    1 million for a trail up the mountain at the end of Ross River Dam Wall

    Successive million dollar projects to expand that trail all the way to the pinnacles ( Fredericks peak)

    Build a free caravan parking area on the small hill on the highway going out to charters towers. People will park up and watch the sun across the waters of the dam slowly sinking down behind the mountains.

    1 million for some kind of equestrian track for riders in townsville ( this might be out at the dam as well – centennial park in Sydney has a horse riding track.

    Build a 7th wonder of the world near the marina – in antiquity many of them were by water/ ports
    Eg pyramids River, mausoleum Port, pharos Port, colossus of Rhodes Port, hanging gardens of Babylon River.

    I can hear the laughter already – but ask yourself this , why does any tourist go to Sydney ; is it to smell the armpits of taxi drivers or see the Opera house ?

    Townsville could one day be the reason anyone goes to Australia – now just imagine that.

    • Interested observer says:

      HAey Guy, you need help mate.
      See your doctor.

    • Westie says:

      This is absolutely ridiculous. I actually agree with something Guy has written.
      In principle. But that is good start.

      Townsville could be made different from everywhere else. That would not only attract visitors, but attract residents.

      Firstly the problems.

      Guy, your $1M estimates are gross underestimations. I agree with doing lots of little things, rather than one big thing. But I think you should multiply everything by at least ten.

      Secondly you have not allowed for whole of life costs. Generally it takes ten times as much to maintain and depreciate an asset than it takes to build it.

      Thirdly many of the projects you list do not benefit the mayor’s political donors. That’s just silly.

      Fourthly some of the projects you list benefit the residents of the old Thuringowa, who voted for Les. Similarly ridiculous, will never happen while the current political leadership is in place.

      Given all that, I would add to your list of potential projects.

      1. Townsville has an existing fantastic bike track network. Concentrate on filling in the gaps and promote (eg from the City to the Dam on both sides of the river, Cluden to top of Mt Stewart, Strand to Shelley Beach).

      2. The Ross River dam is a huge potential recreational asset, at little cost (Walking, watersports, biking, bird watching).

      3. A walking trail from Mount Stewart to Paluma along the scenic rim.

      4. Mountain bike rail trail down the old Greenvale rail corridor (through the tunnels etc)

      5. A serious Public Art network. Every suburb should have something unique (does not have to be big or expensive, just special).

      6. Promote and build dry tropics gardens throughout the parks and residential yards.

      7. Make hazard reduction burns on the hillsides an annual event.

      8. Riverway is a vastly underutilised asset. Develop. Watersports on the Black Weir.

      9. Better National Park access at Paluma, Bluewater, Pinnacles.

      10. Koala tours Magnetic Island.

      11. Day trips to Charters Towers via Ravenswood.

      12. Organised kayaking around Magnetic Island.

      13. World class rowing courses on Black Wier and Aplen’s Weir.

      14. Barra fishing facilities in the weirs

      15. Sustainability tours- the big solar farms at Kelso and Sunmetals, etc A demostration solar powered pumped hydro plant of Mt. Stewart/ Lake Ross.

      16. Defense facilities tours (eg closeup to military assets like tanks and aeroplanes, dense museum.)

      17. A great Beach Walk from Strand to Balgal (hand ferries, water access points etc)

      18. World class professional swimming training facilities at City Pools

      19. Develop and promote Palmetum.

      20. Further develop Free/ Low Cost camping facilities for Grey Nomads

      21. Sugar mill and canefire tours in the Burdekin and Hinchinbrook.

      22. Replicate Thosbourne Trail, Hinchinbrook Island on Magnetic Island

      23. Further develop Mt Stewart lookout

      I sure there are lots of other ideas for things that won’t cost much, but will make Townsville special.

      • The Magpie says:

        Well, maybe … at least to a few of your suggestions, very few of which are USPs to southern tourists and is just a grab bag of scattered ideas that even if all were achieved would not coalesce into a coherent whole ‘tourism product’ … but would certainly make Townsville a more interesting place to live. (Dry tropics gardens? Annual burn-offs? How do they fit in on this list? \Getting in a Greenie plug, there, Westie? and don’t answer that, Westie, you’ve had your say and made your point.)

        BUT The ‘Pie returns to his central concept … the city could be ideally set up for two growth aspects … industry (be nice if we had more like Sun Metals and a few others that actually MAKE things, rather than just middle-men businesses on-selling stuff made elsewhere … nothing wrong with that, a necessary high employment function, but leaves us at the mercy of forces well beyond local control … and the other thing is EVENT TOURISM … forget general tourism where we try to compete with Cairns to the north and the Whitsundays to the south, Townsville just doesn’t have those natural assets, but we do have a stadium, we COULD have a convention/entertainment centre, we used to have highly successful camper/caravan and on-water boating shows, and we could promote, support and more greatly emphasise art/cultural events. We already have established two premier events, the Chamber Music Festival and Strand Ephemera and there could be so much more.

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        Yeah great ideas there Westie, let’s attract more freeloading peasants to Townsville, just what we need.

      • Guy says:

        Sure, the more the merrier

        The reason I talk of a trail to Frederick’s peak from the dam wall is because its close to town, its right on the edge of town, anyone could use it. You’d get the local farmer/ land owner to manage the trail rather than some expensive gov department that will ultimately close it.

        The key is ACCESS

  21. Coveffe says:

    Mr Pie,
    It should have said ‘battering’.
    Fucking spellcheck.

    From Russia with love.

  22. Critical says:

    So Mullet keeps harping on about the the Townsville City Deal to try to get taxpayrr funds to implement the so called initiatives in this deal. How about some accountability and transparency around this deal; the website doesn’t have either the 2019 Progress Report or 2020 City Deal Review up (have these reports actually been completed) on the website Why don’t you link the initiatives that you expect the poor bloody taxpayer to fund to specific sections of the Townsville City Deal.


  23. Interested observer says:

    Posted the following comment on the Townsville Bulletin website this morning but it sat there “pending” for 3 hours, before the story, along with the comment, disappeared completely.
    “”No less than 11 stories about the V8 Supercars in today’s paper and not one mention of how many people turned up to see the cars follow each other around the track. You would think that an event mayor Jenny Hill said has the city “buzzing” would be telling everyone how successful it was. Unless of course the attendance was the disaster depicted in vision on the telly yesterday. Oh well, at least they deserve brownie points for not telling porkies about crowd numbers. Keep your eye out for free tickets to be handed out to next weekend’s repeat performance of V8s, courtesy of Townsville ratepayers.”
    Looks like editor Jenny intervened – again..

  24. J Jones says:

    Mayor Jennifer is ready for pasture

  25. Guy says:

    I don’t get bogged down in the negativity anymore.

    If you remember the fellah that designed the opera house gathered his family and took his family out of Australia on the first flight out

    The Opera house single handedly BUILT Australia’s tourist industry and is recognised as a 7th wonder of the modern world.

    I found a tape in the library years ago with John romer visiting and discussing the 7 wonders of the world, soon after I visited 6 of the 7 sites bar Babylon as Iraq was too hot for tourists. He gives an honourable mention to the altar of Zeus from pergamum – I visited the original site, a pile of clay bricks left by the Germans after they took it away. The british carted off anything of interest from the mausoleum – you can find it in the british museum in the basement.

    That’s the thing about the human mind, you can extrapolate and stretch to the far horizon.

  26. Elusive Butterfly says:

    Mr. Pie…I’m afraid I made a terrible mistake.
    I thought we were talking about “journalists.”
    I suggested that your mate, Tony Raggatt might get himself a cushy number in the TCC’s PR department, but that is definitely out the window.
    Tone’s forte is obviously mindlessly re-writing Press Releases, generally generated by absolute idiots… TEL’s CEO Ms. Brummer-Smith comes to mind…without asking one, sensible question.
    Sorry, Tone, you have to actually write a release when working for council.
    That’s lets you out mate!

    • The Turd Polisher says:

      Well, Townsville is now very heavy with masters of spin and spreaders of verbal excrement – Mayor Jenny Shrill, Frau Bummer-Smit, Prince Ralston and ex Emerald CEO Scott Freemason. All possess the ability and well honed skills to bluff, bluster and bullshit their way through pretty much anything. The smell of verbal manure is strong with this group. Perhaps they will hire permanent ‘wipers’ to walk behind them with a cloth and toilet paper for every time to they open their mouths and speak?

    • Guy says:

      Its hard to explain to people what’s needed to boost the economy in townsville, making small adjustments using small amounts of money changes the cost benefit ratio.

      We could boost tourism revenue by creating NEW places.

      In the London model many places are free to visit, more well known locations can be expensive; no matter, the longer someone stays in townsville the more they spend.

      If we could hold on to to visitors for a day or two days longer we immediately see a boost in people spending money.

      We create new places and it takes longer to see them all.

      If 350 million had been spent on 350 new places it could take MONTHS to see everything in townsville and the environs. This to my mind is the successful strategy to pursue.

  27. Mike Douglas says:

    The Italian Prime Minister is grateful to Kevin Rudd for training their team to win Euro 2020 .

    • The Magpie says:

      Busy man … didn’t he coach Ash Barty?

    • Grizzly Adams says:

      What did KRudd train them to do – lie, become narcissists and sociopaths, grow beards, be a fake, teach them to dribble shit on TV, teach them to blame everyone else for their mistakes?

      And what is it with KRudds ridiculous Santa Clause beard? He looks like a snowman with pubes. The fool…..

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        By your last paragraph clearly you are a man hating lesbian.

        Every man, and a few unfortunate man hating lesbians have facial hair. Those embarrassed about it shave. The confidant choose to let it grow. What has that got to do with the make of the man himself?

        Now off you go and deal with your facial hair, and while you are at it your armpits and legs probably need attention.

        We won’t mention (que music) the ‘hair on your micky- di- di’ that hangs down to your knees.

  28. Cow pat polisher says:

    You read it here first bloggers.
    Our North Queensland Cowboys are rumoured to have come up with a stunning scheme to win more games next year.
    Faced with the prospect of being belted most weekends in the NRL, the Cowboys brains trust are secretly planning to start their own breakaway competition.
    With all the stealth of a group of Dragons players fleeing a covid barbecue, the Cowboys recruitment and retention committee has been flying under the radar by steadily buying veteran players being pensioned off by their clubs, with a view to building a team of above average oldies.
    Once they have gotten rid of all the young talent the Cows plan to start a NRL over-30s comp, which would allow them to win most of their games for a change, having recruited just about every player who is past their use-by date but can still bend over far enough to lace up their boots.
    Under this radical plan the new Townsville stadium will have a name change to the Cowboys Retirement Home, and the club’s recently built Centre of Excellence will become The Infirmary.
    This will all come as welcome news to Cowboys fans, who have spent so long between drinks they are suffering from acute dehydration.
    Next year is going to be BIG.

    • The Magpie says:

      And by the timing of that post, you’re not even halfway through the obvious long lunch of inspiration.

  29. I’ll be plucked says:

    Agreed Grizzly re the beard and his ‘achievements’’. Actually, his nickname was Pixie well into his 20’s. Not sure why, perhaps other readers can assist???

  30. Elusive Butterfly says:

    Mr. Pie…”would” or “could?”
    This from the Bulletin’s Tony Raggatt on July 10.

    “Townsville Enterprise on Friday put a proposed $1.5 million flight incentive scheme to the State Government which it said WOULD generate around 18,000 inbound passengers and about $12m of visitor expenditure.

    This from the Bulletin’s Leighton Smith two days later.

    “Townsville Enterprise CEO Claudia Brumme-Smith revealed their proposal for $1.5 million flight incentive scheme to the State Government which COULD generate around 18,000 inbound passengers and about $12 million in visitor expenditure – based on April’s half-price flight scheme.”

    A ridiculous idea that hasn’t been though through, put forward by someone who doesn’t understand her place in the pecking order, and then, accentuated by an organisation that calls itself a “newspaper.”

    • The Magpie says:

      The point you wish to make – which is fair enough in itself – cannot hinge on just two words … ‘as The ‘Pie sees it, in this instance ‘would’ – meaning if implemented, and ‘could’ also meaning if implemented. A strange thing to pounce when there are so many other glaring anomalies with both TEL and the Astonisher. But it’s a free country … more or less at the moment.

  31. Alahazbin says:

    Ch7 news. “The Premier is ready to pounce”
    To close the border to NSW. FFS Isn’t there one journalist worth their salt to ask the obvious question. ‘ Premier, are you waiting for the NRL teams to be ensconced in Qld before closing the borders?’

    • Goober says:

      Of course she is ready to pounce. Pallet’of’shit and Young get off on ‘absolute power’. I don’t see their livelihood getting fucked. Political vermin happy to make decisions that don’t affect them personally. I really really hope that there is an uprising.

  32. I’ll be plucked says:

    Pluck me, how much longer do we have to put up with Laura Tingle on the 7.30 Report? This is the third week!

    She totally plucked up an interview with the Federal Treasurer and tried to ‘emulate’ Sales with an aggressive approach and failed, rather coming across as a whinging, interrupting, amateur embarrassment!

    Leigh, where are you? Come back NOW!!

    • Interested Bystander says:

      Leave Laura there as she is shining proof the ABC is a sheltered workshop for the gifted, all sponsored by our taxes.

  33. Elusive Butterfly says:

    Mr. Pie…my point is that TE’s CEO Claudia and the Bulletin’s Editor, Craig, are in bed together, colloquially of course, while their mate Jenny is knocking at the door pleading for more input.
    After all, Jenny hasn’t had a three-day lockdown in years…if ever!
    Meanwhile, we continue to get woken up by fucking V8s going round and round and round AND FUCKING ROUND…
    Just like the above three…

  34. Cantankerous but happy says:

    Word is the army are about to kick out Lavarack golf club front the base, bit of a shame for all the people who have worked so hard over the years, and for the people who find Lavarack Golf Club an affordable option to be a member of a golf club. Many will struggle to move to the other clubs in town where memberships are more than double what they currently pay and will probably stop playing the game, which is a shame.

  35. Ralph says:

    Mal, I’ve been following the Jenny Hill upcoming court case and there are comments regarding the missing alcohol tests, I can’t find any solid proof that this is actually true, however I read a post on the TRPA Facebook site by a family member of the deceased motor bike rider, if the facts stated in this article are indeed correct, something doesn’t seem right, once again I’ve not read anything that backs up the comments. Take Care, Ralph.

    • The Magpie says:

      Ralph, think you mean TRRA website, a disgraceful and misleading misnomer, it hardly represents the Townsville Residents and Ratepayers, that’s for sure. Regarding the rumours, heard them too, but as you will know, I respect the law, so it is neither helpful or fair to air unproven matters before any proper hearing. However if the family member could produce any proof, then that would blow the whole matter wide open, or alternatively, because alcohol tests are usually carried out in circumstances such as this accident, and they cannot be produced, that a different can of worms that is bound to end in tears. But such adverse evidence doesn’t appear to forthcoming, and a family member is hardly going to be unbiased and fair. How do they know the tests are ‘missing’ or not carried out? Anyway that is a matter for the courts, not trial by social media..

      Clr Hill will have her day in court, as will the police who have brought these charges.

    • Andy Pandy says:

      Hey Ralph, get your hand off it mate! As The Pie intimated, that site is a looney rag-tag turnout, with no cred at all, ever!

      Next they’ll be suggesting there were blood stained axes in the car boot and white powder bags in the glove box!!! :)

  36. The Magpie says:

    Your opening line … that you don’t know if the allegation is true … is the reason why your commented wasn’t posted. Nobody knows if it is true, including the person in the chnge.org link. The court proceedings will shed some light on that, and then we will all have something to say, but around here, not until then.

    • Prince Rollmop says:

      Guilty or not guilty, it won’t change the fact that she is and always will be an incompetent and narcissistic bully who couldn’t financially manage a school kid’s weekly pocket money. She is a bogan and an embarrassment.

    • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

      Completely reasonable response Pie.

  37. Interested observer says:

    Anyone know the date for Jenny Hill’s rescheduled trial?
    And does anyone know why it keeps getting postponed?

    • The Magpie says:

      Going on memory only, it was shifted from Brisbane back to Townsville, for hearing in the Magistrates Court about the 17th/18th August. The delays and changes have been necessary because at one stage, the police brief of evidence was not completed and available, and Clr Hill’s legal team also sought at one stage more time to build their defence.

      The law is a ponderous machine which ‘grinds slowly’ as the saying has it. And any fair minded person would have some empathy for both sides in this matter … Clr Hill and the family of the deceased – because the delays have no doubt created general anxiety over a long period.

  38. Prince Rollmop says:

    I’m ecstatic. Unemployment has fallen to 4.9% with 30,000 Jones created last month!! How good is that. COVID is great for the economy!!! Josh Fraudenberg and Scotty from Marketing are steering us through these uncharted waters incredibly well. Anybody whonwhinges that their businesses have been impacted negatively are obviously delusional. Josh wouldn’t lie, embellish, massage or spin the data in a way that makes the Government look good! No way. Never.

    • The Magpie says:

      ‘30,000 Jones created last month’? Keeping up with Jones is always hard, but at the productivity rate, you now have to keep hard to keep it up like the Joneses do – apparently.

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      30,000 Jones created last month?

      The Welsh have been busy. Was there an electrical blackout?

      Don’t you love predictive text.

  39. Celine says:

    Has anybody else noticed how NMD and Belgian Steve are on “ghost protocol” lately? Barely a whisper from them, if any. I mean, don’t get me wrong, they are completely tosspots, it’s just interesting that they have both foe to ground. Maybe they are the same person? Maybe they are on holidays together in Thailand?

  40. Mike Douglas says:

    Gotta love our Mayor . Begging Bowl out for Feds $ but what about the funds that the State and Feds have already given Council but the projects havnt been completed . Rainforest walkway to the stadium was it $9 mil funded by State but not completed . Walkways around the river , flood repair $ whilst Riverway sits idle whilst booked Civic theatre events cancelled due to V8,s double weekend . City Deal delays due to Council . Then you look at Councils annual report and look at the fact they dont even achieve their own 3 major financial benchmarks and havnt for years . Our Mayors legacy will be over $500 mil in debt for the ratepayers that based on current Councils performance will take 30 yrs to pay down .

  41. NQ Gal says:

    Bad editing at the Astonisher strikes again. Page 1 bottom banner advertises the Cowboys game starting at 5.30 tomorrow, but tucked inside is a story saying that the game has been shifted to 3pm, so that fans can attend both the football and Supercars, which has a delayed 4.45 start!

  42. Interested observer says:

    Phillip Thompson has scored yet another knockout by shining a torch on Townsville City Council’s (aka Jenny Hill) failure to repair the Riverway arts centre after it was damaged by the flood she was instrumental in causing. Those bloody flood gates have come back to haunt her again.
    Poor old Jenny is floundering about making up excuses for her lack of action in the 2.5 years since her disaster.
    She must have nightmares about Phil.
    Don’t you just love karma.

    • Alahazbin says:

      IO, One of the reasons the Mullet gave for moving the library over to Riverway was the saving in paying rent to the owners of the old Thuringowa Chambers.
      Don’t worry about all those millions of dollars being paid to Brad Webb for the lease of Fleet Workshops and the Citi Waste depot over the road down the end of Webb Drive.
      As Brad explained it my brother-in-law one day.
      “That will help buy a few groceries” as he rubbed his hands together.

  43. Jasper says:

    Will the Annastacia Palaszczuk go to Tokyo?

    Brisbane is the only place bidding for the 2032 Olympics, COVID Crisis increasing…

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