King Of The Kids At Last? Is David ‘Kid’ Crisafulli Our Next Premier?

The Magpie’s long held and oft stated prediction that The Kid would take the state reins one day (the old bird has $20 riding on it from 8 years ago) could be just around the corner, according to other pundits better qualified at reading the political entrails. The ‘Pie pontificates.

The biter bit: the Astonisher gets all huffy and threatening towards it main supplier of news. It’s hypocrisy at 20 paces.

Townsville mayoral candidates on the campaign trail, all whipping up apathy … when they’re not missing in action.

And a hilarious musical ode to the Tangerine Anus from Australia’s greatest musical funnyman.

But first …

Those Take Back Townsville Talks – Unbelievable … And Unforgiveable

And that also goes for the Bulletin, the paper that is ‘all for us’.

When the Take Back Townsville Talks aimed at finally and definitively addressing juvenile crime in this city took place on Wednesday night, it was of sufficient importance that Queensland’s top cop, the state Police Minister, and all sitting state MPs of the region turned up to face a 100-strong angry crowd demanding answers.

Mayoral challenger Sam Cox was there, and talked to many in the crowd about their very real fears, frustrations and anxieties. And made it clear their problems would be his problems if elected.

BUT GUESS WHO WASN’T HERE? OUR MAYOR, AND NOT ONE SINGLE TOWNSVILLE CITY COUNCILLOR, ELECTED TO SPEAK FOR US, THAT WHO WASN’T THERE.

It is simply craven political cowardice for Jenny Hill and her sock puppet team to airily dismiss the meeting as ‘nothing to do with the council, we can’t do anything, we don’t make the laws’, and slink away like a dog that knows its going to get a whipping.

Go easy, you cry, Mrs Hill was probably still traumatised by the accident in which she was involved , in which a motorcyclist died, you say? Well, she was UN-traumatised enough the day before the meeting to be back in full simper mode, gurgling out lies about our golden future because she’d built a bloody stadium boardwalk, for God’s sake! You’d think it was the Sydney Harbour Bridge to listen to her.

And one doubts that apart from self-interest, not a single councillor would be so deeply affected by the mayor’s traffic troubles – if at all – to cry off the crime meeting. Sensitive little piglets never wanting to stray from the trough or the mother sow’s watchful eye.

And Therein Lies Part Of Our Problem

We need someone in Walker Street, unfettered by outmoded political ties and therefore not open to coercion, who is eager to kick down Brisbane doors on our behalf. Even when local government don’t make the necessary laws, the mayor and councillors are still are elected to speak on our behalf, and on behalf of the city we have asked them to run efficiently and fairly for us. Not someone who will sit in George Street ante rooms until some oily flunkey ushers them into the regal ministerial presence and be fobbed off in condescending hushed tones. Whether Sam Cox has the cojones to do that we cannot know yet, but it sure as hell isn’t the massively compromised Mayor Mullet, still backed, advised and manoeuvred by Labor back room hipsters.

And, as far as The ‘Pie could see, the Townsville Bulletin made NOT ONE SINGLE MENTION that the mayor and councillors were missing. The paper was no doubt told in the sternest of terms it was nothing to do with council, so the paper simply rolled over, had its tummy tickled and ignored the glaring absence.

Copycat Campaign

Bentley is right on target when he takes aim at one of the more annoying things about what campaigning there has been.

Not just the unoriginality, but the lethargy is galling.. Sam Cox figured he was on a winner with the simplistic ‘Time For Change’ but then along came Palmer stooge Greg Dowling, who promptly pinched Sam’s slogan. If that wasn’t enough, Mayor Mullet decided to nick the Palmer Party colour scheme and wording for one of her suburban offices.

But looking at all the social media sites, Sam Cox is starting to put some meat on the bones, saying specially what he will do on various issues. But he has been smart enough to say a lot of what he can do will be dictated by what he finds when he has access to the council books.

Truth In Advertising?

There’s been the perennial kerfuffle about political signage around town, with mobile billboards parked in questionable, often distracting positions.

But The Magpie was particularly taken with the one on Queens Road, which held an unintentional but worthwhile message about reptiles.

Rocket Man Running Out Of Fuel?

Seems some sort of financial reality regarding Townsville has dawned on the promoters of ageing glitter gay, EJ. Seems tickets sales haven’t been all they could wish for, and it’s not exactly surprising given the asking rates:

So it’s logical to offer some sort of financial enticement to the regular rack rate. But this drastic?

Something going a bit wonky with this promotion?

Maybe Not Yet, But You Never Know …

Regular readers of this blog know that The Magpie has for years chronicled the clever political trajectory of David ‘Kid’ Crisafulli, the self-described ‘just another wog from Ingham’. The ‘Pie was at the Bulletin all those years ago when he dubbed him ‘Kid Crisafulli, the child councillor from the west’. Even in council, he had style and flair, but was from the outset, a disciplined career man, who from day one knew what he wanted and went about getting it. Under the tutelage of veteran senator Ian Macdonald, The Kid carried the old man’s bags as he learnt the ropes. And he learnt patience. After doing a steady job as Local Government Minister and member for Mundingburra in the Newman Government, the Kid was turfed out in the landslide against Newman’s ‘too much, too soon’ political debacle, a misjudgement for which Queenslander are still paying.

Never fully in the wilderness, always in favour with the LNP as a shooting star, and always scheming behind the scenes, The Kid took his bitter (and undeserved) defeat on the chin, packed up wife Tegan and the kids, and headed south. Indeed his defeat in Mundingburra was the proverbial blessing in disguise, allowing Crisafulli to make the crucial … indeed, vital … career move out of the boondocks. After a lot of backroom machinations, he got the LNP nod as candidate for Broadwater, and was back soon in George Street again, enjoying what he had greatly missed, once confessing ‘you get used to, you to get to like, the opening of doors and people carrying your bags for a change’.

But that was never The Kid’s motivation, he is one of the very few politicians, certainly from around here, who is actually both intelligent in the broader sense, and actually showed he sought to change things for the better.

Now it seems, he’s in with a chance.

Has The Freckle Developed Into The LNP’s Melanoma?

Seems Deb Frecklington scratched herself badly when she made the inexplicably stupid decision to criticise Anna Alphabet for her fashion sense and being childless among other things. Callous and dopey in the extreme, Frecklington’s approval rating plunged and continues lags well be hind that of the Premier – last week, The Freckle wallowed back on 22% as preferred Premier, well behind apparent fashion inept Palaszczuk on 34%. And the LNP leader’s overall approval rating of 23% opposed to disapproval at 44%, certainly points to the game being far from over from over for Labor next October.

And as unlikely as a spill is at this stage – the LNP bosses are myopic and stubborn towards the rapidly changing leadership reality – suddenly The Kid is waiting in the wings.

Writing a perceptive piece in the Courier Mail, Dr Paul Williams, a senior lecturer at Griffith University, summed up the LNP’s leadership alternatives, dismissing as unlikely any chance for any of the possible four females being allowed a leadership bitch-slap. Dr Williams wrote in part in the Courier:

 

Then there are the blokes. Given that Brisbane is unlikely to ever again warm to a regional conservative, that rules out the likes of Dale Last (Burdekin), Jarrod Bleijie (Kawana), Ted Sorenson (Hervey Bay) or David Janetzki (Toowoomba South).

Eliminating former LNP leaders John-Paul Langbroek and Tim Nicholls – and former Liberal leader Mark McArdle (Caloundra) – the list narrows to Christian Rowan (Moggill), Tim Mander (Everton), Steve Minnikin (Chatsworth), Rob Molhoek (Southport) and David Crisafulli (Broadwater).

Given the need to win over progressive secular Brisbane, conservatives such as Mander and Rowan will be overlooked.

But the party is unlikely to embrace Minnikin either, given his support for Labor’s 2018 abortion law reform.

If we set aside the lower profile Molhoek, we’re left with Crisafulli – a former journalist and local government minister long touted as a future premier.

An experienced minister who’s also good on the soundbite, Crisafulli – an urbane and energetic progressive who’s not yet 40 – is the LNP’s best hope of toppling a premier who, despite tumbling approval ratings, is still Labor’s best asset.

But William’s ends on the bitterly realistic note that the LNP hierarchy will ignore all this, and smugly drift on to the next election, firmly believing they are in for no big surprises.

Maybe the ‘Pie will have to wait until 2024 to collect his $20.

Down At The Bulletin, Even When They’re Right, They’re Wrong.

During the week, there was a deeply amusing exchange of social media about some random copying and pasting Astonisher ‘subscriber only’ content on to his Facebook page, thus offering it to the world for free.

Now it’s not often The ’Pie agrees with the Bulletin, but on this occasion, they were absolutely right to warn of this drongo, and told him in no uncertain terms the legal might of News Ltd would land on him if he didn’t cease and desist. And quite right too, as laughable as an argument is about the Bulletin’s ‘intellectual copyright’ (gasp, wheeze, snurffle – who would want to claim it!!), the paper is correct, and journalism of any standard must be paid for – that’s the law regarding paywalls, and reasonably so in our changing media landscape.

The Bulletin’s big stick warning however, ended with a truly idiotic statement: ‘By the way, this communication is nor for publication or posting.’ YOU’VE JUST POSTED IT ION FACEBOOK, YOU NITWITS, and besides, with the exception of certain legal exchanges between parties, send someone a message like that legal warning, and it is their property to do with what they choose. Stick to wire bending, folks.

But it is also mind-bending to see the paper attacking someone on their biggest source of stories, social media. And there’s no show without punch, so trust a bum kissing, virtue-signally journo to jump in.

Ok darlin’, the new boss now sees that you do 11 hour days (you say), but you may now just hope he doesn’t investigate just what your 11 hours yields in terms of value.

The Heat Making You Itchy And Scatchy?

Then the latest in UK swimwear won’t relieve you one bit. Megan and Hairy … sorry, Harry one piece numbers are expected to be all the rage in the coming northern summer.

The beard seems superfluous.

Highs And Lows

hey, we blokes give the sheilas a go at sport and stuff, but they really should know their place and always look up to the blokes … in every way.

Kevin Nails It

Many things have been said of Donald Trump, the Tangerine Anus, but there’s one big question that the world – Republicans, Democrats, Americans, Russians, Aussie’s, everyone – wakes up to ask every single morning of this cockamamie presidency … what’s Donald gonna do today? Our own Kevin Bloody Wilson of “Livin’ Next Door Alan’ fam, asks exactly that in his latest musical offering.

The question is even more pressing now that this egotistical maniac has been the green light for revenge non-bum kissers. Our usual gallerfy.

And Finally, The ‘Pie Is All Nostalgic For The Good Old Days Of Poseurs’ Wine Bar.

  

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That’s it for another sweltering week folks, and don’t forget to send in your pix for the Tatty Townsville facebook page, reminding the council what they are not but should be doing around the city. Also comments on the subject of your choice run 24/7, have your say. And hey, no paywall here, and bugger all intellectual content, either, but The Magpie is forever free, and if you feel you can help out with a donation to meet continual costs, The ‘Pie will recommend a special swimsuit be designed for you. The how to donate button is below.