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The Magpie

Sunday, March 15th, 2020   |   349 comments

Jenny Hill Finds More Rakes To Tread On … The Latest Has Hit Her Fair In The Arts.

She’s floundering.

No doubt about it, Mayor Mullet is in panicky survival mode. Events during the week have confirmed that she now has real and justified concerns about her own survival.

And The ‘Pie reports (or as The Astonisher would say EXCLUSIVELY REVEALS), Deputy Doo Dah Les Messagebank Walker is about to be down the tubes for a cool $17,000 … he just doesn’t know it yet, but will when he reads this.

And the  mayoral candidate who asked for the Magpie’s opinion … and got it. (No, not Sam, he copped his a few weeks ago, and has bounced back vigorously enough to have The Mullet rattled.)

And over at Conspiracy Central, TRRA’s Peter Newey flouts his organisation’s own constitution and goes all political … declaring an allegiance that any sensible ratepayer would shun …

And Quote of the Week goes to a NT Youth Court judge, a clear-sighted bloke we should immediately bring to Townsville.

And a couple of crackerjack tweets and emails.

But first …

It Was Inevitable

Townsville is now hosting some corona virus suspects, but look, The ‘Pie isn’t going to waste much timed on giving his opinion of the overblown reaction to this nasty version of ‘flu, it would be of little interest and even less value.

According to ABC North Queensland, The Ann Roberts Dance School is the first place to be affected. Thisn posted mid afternoon Saturday.

abc corinaScreen Shot 2020-03-14 at 6.54.51 pm

The ‘Pie notes that the Dance School’s Commercial and Production Manager, Andre Reynaud, is an occasional traveller to his home country France, usually with his wife, School principal, Jane Pirani. The ‘Pie who knew them some years ago, wishes them well.

The ‘Pie now eagerly awaits TEL’s Little Patty O’Callaghan’s claim of the work behind the scenes they did to bring the virus to Townsville … they claim everything else, why not this?

Now It Really Is A Race … Mayor Mullet Thinks So Anyway

A couple of weeks ago, Jenny Hill was skating along complacently, maybe a tad worried for a couple of Team Hill candidates, but feeling secure that her 60%/35% majority last time around would see her safely back in the Walker Street plush.

Jenny Hill looking slyScreen Shot 2020-01-15 at 6.50.41 pm

A couple of weeks is a long time in political campaigns. Jenny Hill is clearly lacking local back room brains in this campaign – unconfirmed word is that a Brisbane Labor bod is supposedly helping, proving the old adage good help is so hard to find nowadays. Local Uber campaign smarty Dolan Hayes has wisely stayed out of this fray, spending most of it on hols in Asia. On recent return, a trusted reader tells The ‘Pie he immediately got a panicked plea from Tony Mooney to a to do a bit of fund raising for a Mullet TV campaign. That turned out easier said than done and was largely a dud, according to some Magpie business mates who were approached, seems everyone is gun shy when comes to donations because of Belcarra laws of disclosure. Bizoids felt this might affect their ability to do business with the council in the future.

But such a late call to boost campaign coffers was a clear signal that Her Smugness was starting to get clammy armpits (now try and get that image out of your head.) The campaign started to wobble when the mayor unveiled her ‘thousand dollar rates rebate’ for new home buyers, a WTF inane attempt at vote catching which was instantly met universal social media scorn, indignation and outrage. Just a small sample.

Screen Shot 2020-03-06 at 2.16.15 pm

There was also the revelation (here in this blog) that she had recruited her daughter, a Brisbane council employee, to attack (troll) those who criticized her mummy, but under a false name … which was so dopily done, she was quickly outed with great derision.

Hill was clearly suffering from her oft denied close association the Palaszczuk government and its disgraceful performance regarding juvenile crime in Townsville.

So she clearly floundered around to find an issue with traction, and somehow decides that top of mind in this city is … a performing arts hub.

Jenny arts hubScreen Shot 2020-03-14 at 8.07.26 pm

The most interesting thing there was that the Townsville Bulletin and reporter Madura ‘Teabag’ McCormack openly shot holes in the announcement. And why wouldn’t they, it was as rubbery as Beyonce’s bum, and really said nothing new. It also included matters that had already been done and areas being already covered by TEL.

And it was astonishing indeed to see the Townsville Bulletin writing this in a news story:

“If elected, a Team Jenny Hill majority council would create a “fighting fund”- dollar figure unknown- to attract “national and international events to the city through a new “Townsville Events Board” that would work with Tourism Events Queensland, this despite the existence of Townsville Enterprise, which is funded as a regional tourism organisation to do this.”The next council would work to “lock in” the hugely successful North Australia Festival of Arts and Northern Fringe festival as an annual event- which it already is, as announced by the council in August.

Her brainwave campaign statement did nothing more than prove for the past 5 or 6 years and that through a lack of vision, transparency and honesty, Mayor Hill has presided over a city of lost opportunities.

In the article, Mayor Mullet promised ‘…a sod will be turned on the Arts Hub project next term if I am re-elected.’ The ‘Pie reckons, madam mayor, the next sod to be turned will happen when in two weeks time, when you are turned out of office and we try to rebuilt this community on which you have wreaked so much havoc .

Classic Case: If Sam Gets In, He Won’t Have Won Office – She Will Have Lost It

She is clearly rattled, especially since, at long last, her only real rival Sam Cox is starting to find some of the necessary mongrel to fight a political campaign. And the paper is giving him more and more space, as well as the Astonoisher suddenly finding some journalistic moxie to openly call Hill out on her tiresome excesses and thought farts. And Cox is really cutting through with his TV interviews and his Facebook posts.

While this seismic change was taking place, last Wednesday, guess who decided to butt into our Townsville council election? No doubt in a frantic hope that other candidates would play silly buggers, local Labor sent out a questionnaire asking where candidates stood on certain issues. Nice Try, dept of: The collated answers, if anyone was stupid enough to supply them, would be skewed to suit. A couple of excerpts from the covering letter.

The Australian Labor Party is not running an endorsed Labor Team or any endorsed Labor Candidates in Townsville at the 2020 Townsville City Council Elections. However, members of the Townsville Branch of the Australian Labor Party are vitally interested in the future of our city and wish to see Townsville develop as the most liveable city in northern Australia – a city that is economically prosperous, environmentally sustainable and socially vibrant, just and inclusive.”

Just a shame that your George Street comrades don’t share your sentiments. But it went on:

The Townsville Branch wishes to compare the positions of all candidates for our forthcoming city elections on the issues we care about. To this end, we have enclosed a short questionnaire prepared by our members and would ask you to complete same and return by close of business Friday March 20, 2020. We recognise that the next few weeks will be a very busy time for all candidates and have structured the questionnaire in an easy to answer Yes/No format.

And the questions all sound like issues that keep Sarah Hanson-Young up all night fretting and biting her bottom lip. These questions are more loaded than Tony Mooney at a Labor Party BBQ. And most have ABSOLUTELY FUCK ALL to do with a city council with more practical matters on its agenda like trying to recover from multiple disasters, one of which is the incumbent Labor mayor.

Labor questions 1Screen Shot 2020-03-15 at 12.05.42 am

Labor questions 2Screen Shot 2020-03-15 at 12.06.00 am

The dumbness is jaw-dropping. There will be those who think The ‘Pie carries on a bit too much but this is exactly the sort interference in our local council affairs that has bedevilled this city for years.

Noting that there are no endorsed political teams of note (forget the New State whackos, more on them in a moment) Sam Cox had a crisp answer when quizzed by the Magpie about what answers he might give.

iSam Coxmages

” I can’t believe one of the major parties is so publicly interfering in Townsville local govt elections. Does anyone, anyone  really believe the Mayor isn’t Labor’s candidate, official  or not? Does anyone really believe they’d be happy to see myself or one of the others elected? I’m not a  party member so I  won’t and don’t have to answer this rubbish, but I  really really can’t wait to see how Cr Hill answers them. “

Neither can we, Sam, neither can we. But we’ll never know what she has to say … it will be Commercial In Connivance.

The Magpie’s Modest Proposal

Magpie scourge mySuperLamePic_8166643c032c94df30292d5a4a5ae3a9

Taking the lead from Jonathon Swift’s A Modest Proposal which caused outrage and amusement when published in 1729, allow The ‘Pie to offer a local modest proposal (but doesn’t involve Mr Swift’s idea of The Irish eating their babies.)

Why doesn’t Townsville elect TWO mayors?

No, no, come back here, don’t leave, come back and just listen.

Jenny Hill to be mayor of the CBD, and Sam Cox to administer for the vast outlands of the city which are so foreign to Mayor Mullet? That way, the ordinary, everyday citizens out beyond the money sink hole of the CBD would get a fair shake of being looked after, with swift road repairs, sensible rubbish disposal policies, a sensible water plan involving recreational use of Ross River Dam, refurbishing and reopening the Riverway Arts Centre (which The Mullet will close if re-elected) AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, run a sensible rates base used to ensure their suburbs don’t look like Detroit Down Under.

In the CBD and immediate surrounds, Jenny could rate her constituents separately, and also stump up all ratepayer contributions to TEL from her own consultancy-riddled enclave, since TEL is largely disconnected from anything practical to do with anywhere beyond the north/south railway line. Or anywhere really.

Not in any way denigrating the struggling, indeed dying businesses in the CBD, but if the C of C has been timorously happy have their lips super-glued to the cheeks of the mayoral arse, then let THEM answer to their poor bloody benighted CBD businesses who are members of this increasingly pointless outfit.

Well, He Did Ask …

Chris Eastaughffeba78c880a67c1bfdb6f32adebd668511

Chris Eastaughffe

The ‘Pie received a missive during the week from mayoral candidate Chris Eastaugffe, running for the North Queensland State Alliance. He sought The Magpie’s opinion on an open letter he had written to all other mayoral candidates. It was a long screed about corona virus and asked what Mayor Mullet had done to prepare us for its inevitable arrival. Chris got so carried away with his statistics, analysis and questions for the mayor, he completely overlooked to tell what his proposed measures would be.

The Magpie, as always, is loathe to share his opinions of others with others heh heh heh…  but nevertheless, he selflessly gave Chris the requested benefit of his view. The ‘Pie posts it here as part of his election matters of note.

Hi Chris,

Thanks for the copy of the letter, it is generally factual and makes us aware that although not affected yet, Townsville, along with virtually all other Australian communities will eventually be affected, either by cases or prevention measures.

That said, I think the letter is very misguided in terms of the current election campaign, and is a very poor strategy indeed. No one in Townsville is focussed on Corona at this stage, especially in the middle of an election campaign where as an issue it is hardly on the radar – sad to say, about the same level as a ‘new state’ agenda in a local government election. 

Overall, your platform so far has not resonated anywhere that I can see, and that is because of your, and Peter’s, basic strategy flaw that a new state agenda, reflected in your team name, is an issue that overrides more pressing and immediate ones, and detracts from the failings and the flaws of our current council and particularly our mayor.And by running NQSA candidate Fran O’Callaghan in Division 10, you have offered Walker a chance of re-election by possibly dragging away votes from Asti Poole … and out your way, getting rid of Walker should be an absolute priority. But since you are involved in the Woodstock matter, votes from any sensible view that should go to Poole will be siphoned off to Ms O’Callaghan (no personal criticism, all your hearts in the right place, but it seems you haven’t thought this through sufficiently.)

The same applies to your mayoral candidacy … personal association within the community there will garner you some votes that could prove vital to Cox in what is shaping up as a very close contest. So in the end, Chris, your candidacy may well be pivotal in seeing Hill returned. Not your intention, I know, but wasn’t this ever weighed up in preliminary discussions? (Peter) Raffles (head of TSV NQSA) is no fool, but his well-known one issue agenda perhaps blinded him to certain political realities. And it is not for the people of Townsville to make a ballot box sacrifice to such an agenda. And one thing they don’t want are elected people in Walker Street wasting time on a new state issue that will detract from them running the city at it’s optimum efficiency.

I have also read your ‘policy statement’, which is not a policy agenda but a behavioural promise only, and a motherhood statement at that, pledges that would be the very least that a sensible citizen would expect from their elected representatives.

I’m sure this is not want you wanted to hear, and please understand that I applaud anyone who takes the time to put themselves forward, but more consideration should’ve been given to broader outcomes and the suitability of the team agenda on a local government election.



Mr Eastaughffe was gracious in his reply, which began with a flattering ‘I got what I expected – a truthful summing up., and followed up with some polite relevant points.

Maybe you’re too nice to be in politics, mate.

But You’ve Got One Unexpected Admirer, Chris

Possibly not the sort you really want, but nevertheless, old Pete Newey at the Townsville Resident’s’ and Ratepayers Association likes the cut of your jib.

Peter Newey

However, Mr Newey’s admiration comes with some pretty tricky questions for him.

One small detail in the closing of the letter from Mr Eastaughffe caught The Magpie’s eye.


Chris Eastaughffe

Mayoral Candidate

NQSA Townsville

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/chrisNQSAforTSVmayor/

Authorised Peter Newey, Shaw Street West End, Townsville.

But hang on, Pete, it says in your constitution:

‘We are also a member of Transparency International and we are not politically aligned.’

Now, Pete, you cagey old duffer, don’t you come on all huffy, and say you were simply authorising the publication of Mr Eastaughffe’s letter on a site where you are grandly known as The Facilitator. In any political context, ‘authorised by’ carries certain legal implications and understandings in ordinary, everyday usage. It means you authorize statements by Mr Eastaughffe

You see, we all as individuals can make whatever statements we like about politics and politicians, and espouse whatever cause we choose, within legal boundaries.

But the support of an association is somewhat different, and each and every person who is deemed a member of such an association is seen as holding the view of any political support. And each and every person shares any legal responsibility for matters that may arise therefrom.

And it is kind of startling to read what Mr Newey thinks constitutes membership of the TRRA. This from the Association’s ‘constitution’.

MEMBERSHIP. In addition to our network of regular TRRA collaborators, informants and contributors, those who choose to become a ‘follower’ of TRRA’s Facebook page are also deemed to have elected to become a member of the Association.

So if someone violently disagrees with you and contributes a comment or in the case of The Magpie who once in a weak moment of giving you oxygen, made a jest on your site, is considered a member?

If that is case (and would be a hot court dispute about its validity) what happens when some of your tin foil hat conspiracy theories are finally challenged by someone who finally finds them just too tiresome and outrageous? What’s that you say, that old boast you’ve often made that they won’t sue because you’ve got no money? Maybe not BUT YOUR MEMBERS, WHO ARE EQUALLY LIABLE FOR WHAT IS SAID ON THE TRRA SITE, DO HAVE MONEY. And they most certainly could be enjoined in any court action, even if you haven’t a cracker.

All dangerous and highly irresponsible, Peter, you should be ashamed that your private obsessions and ramblings, put the well being of other unwitting parties at such risk.

Messagebank Will Be Getting The Message

Interesting few private whispers have intrigued The ‘Pie for a while now, and now a Deep Throat has confirmed them.

Les walker

Les Messagebank Walker, Deputy Mayor (for now)

If … and it’s a big if … Les Messagebank Walker gets back in in Division 10, it is certain he will no longer be deputy mayor – a position elected by fellow councillors. They’ve finally wised up to the man The ‘Pie has described for years as the laziest councillor of the past two decades. Councillors believe he hasn’t carried out his Deputy Mayoral duties in a fit and proper manner, or often not at all, and they’re fed up with him. The ‘Pie’s Deep Throat says he has preferred to concentrate on his division … which will come a bloody big surprise to Division 10 residents, whose calls he never returns, especially at Woodstock and those affected by the now quashed expansion of the construction rubble industry near residential streets in Wulguru.

Les’s work ethic (when there are no cameras around) can be summed up by his record as the TCC appointee on a North Queensland sporting events body back in Mooneytime of the noughties.

This outfit (cannot recall the precise name) held eight meetings during Les’s tenure as as Townsville’s representative, to discuss the locations for upcoming events.

And how many meetings did Les Walker attend?

Not a single one.

But this lazy dullard still picks up the public shilling without so much as a blush briefly colouring his myopic face.

But there is a price to pay for those who are neglectful of their duties, and in Les’s case, that will be $17,000 a year, that being the difference between the pay of an ordinary council drone  and the deputy mayor.

Of course, that difference no doubt has everything to do with the frantic scrabbling behind the council chamber skirting boards as others jostle for the position. Frontrunners are said to Mark Molachino and Russ Cook. But you can bet the ol’ potty mouth Margie Ryder will be in there boots and all if there’s an extra quid to be had.

The Magpie’s projection: if the Mullet gets back in, Ann-Maree Geaney would probably get the mayor’s backing, but then, Jenny’s track record with other powerful women might mitigate against it.

No matter what happens in two weeks, The ‘Pie’s gunna have some fun for years to come.

Quick Question

Why don’t cannibals eat politicians?

Geez, have you ever tried to clean one?

We Need This Judge In Townsville … NOW!!

Northern Territory Youth judge Greg Borchers is a breath of judicial fresh air, and just the sort of bloke needed in this city.

The story, from Alice Springs, tells itself.

Youth Court judge Greg Borchers sentenced the 15-year-old to two months and 14 days in jail — suspended after five days — after the boy broke into a local business just 10 days after appearing in court for an earlier burglary in 2018.

In sentencing, Mr Borchers said the boy had refused to obey his mother and grandmother or go to school and as a result was “totally uneducated”.

“You cannot read or write and your chances of getting a job are negligible,” he said.

“I am not sure whether you have been encouraged by your family not to value school but you have reached a point in your life at the age of 16 that you are unemployable and that your prospects in the future are only receipt of some form of government benefit.”

Mr Borchers described good behaviour bonds as “ineffectual”, saying between 70 and 80 per cent of youths handed one by a court went on to immediately reoffend.

“Asking a young person who is not subject to any regulation in their own domestic life to obey the law is a farce and it proves so and the statistics prove so,” he said.

“It is important in my view, regardless that this is a youth court, that the authority of this court be imposed upon those that believe it is nothing more than a joke.”

That sentence was appealed on the grounds that the grub’s mother wasn’t in court for the sentencing – yes, really – but the Supreme Court dismissed the appeal, but did quash the 14 days bit.

Judge Borchers sure ain’t the flavor of the month in some circles in the Top End, and he has outspoken form. He caused a storm in 2017 when he told an aboriginal mother that she probably ‘ abandoned your kids in that great indigenous fashion.’  Enough to make Tarquin and Jacinta in South Yarra choke on their soy almond milk latte with a cinnamon twist.

Let’s do a whip round and get Judge Borchers over here pronto.

Best Typo Of The Week Comes From The New Daily

Nearly kicked to death by a mule?

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Best Tweet Of The Week

It’s a coincidence, but the best tweet of the week goes to the aforementioned Ann Roberts School of Dancing.

Don’t know if it’s occurred to you, but all those tedious ‘Vote for the best of … ‘ space fillers in the Bulletin aren’t just space fillers, they are low level emotional blackmail often linked to the pester power of children. This mindless stuff can only be voted on by subscribers to the digital online Bulletin … this is a nationwide ploy by all News mastheads, to bolster flagging subscriptions, which affect the advertising rates.

When this one appeared …

Best dance schoolScreen Shot 2020-03-12 at 6.41.21 pm

… the kids at the Ann Roberts Dance School were having none of it … the politeness of the putdown made it even more devastating.


Why The Corona Virus May End Up Be Great News For The USA

… because it may be the long sought downfall of Donald J Trump.

The criminal indifference and outright lies from the Tangerine Anus before he was dragged kicking and screaming to declare a National Emergency may even be a wake-up call to the knuckle-dragging hard core of his support base. Nothing like a death or two near you to change your vote. But if that’s what it takes, they will not have carked it in vain …

Had to love it when Trump described ‘national emergency ‘ as ‘two very big words’. For once, he probably wasn’t lying. The ‘toonist’s had their usual field day, with a few barbs at the squabbling Dems thrown in.

17_51 Tom Toles Editorial Cartoon - tt_c_c200308.tif cjones03122020 1_249 8_117 12_81 8_116 7_133 purebull keepcalm 10_91 2_225 cjones03162020 13_69 13_70 8_120 Tom Toles Editorial Cartoon - tt_c_c200313.tif 5_177

In The US Election, It Will Be Walking Frames At Two Paces

Questions about Joe Biden being yesterday’s man, given to unfashionable and old fashioned saying like ‘gee wilikers’ and his mildly (next Trump) salty naughty language is nothing new, it is just that no one took much notice of him  when he was in Obama’s shadow as Vice President. That is the usual fate of VPs, but there was the occasional generational jibe.

This was one of the funniest ones from a gentler era (all of five years ago).


And To End On A Local Note

A touching domestic scene taking place in lounge rooms across Townsville this weekend.



Just two weeks to go, plenty to talk about, even more to think about, so when weighing you’re your vote, perhaps keep in mind this from NYT columnist Maureen Dowd.

“The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.’

Comments are getting pretty willing at times – great fun – why not join in, just pick a name (NOT someone real) and say what you think. Even The ‘Pie doesn’t know who’s saying what. And the old bird is still in the midst of planning an upgraded site with a few bells and whistles to make it a better weekly read for you, but these things cost money (yes, I was surprised too), so if you can help with the new jumbo size digital toilet roll we call Nest Mk ll, the donation button is below.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. Insider says:

    Two Mayors, Pie? Back to the Future…Townsville and Thuringowa?

    I also think you have underestimated the significant impact of Covid-19 in coming weeks. In order to “flatten the curve” of infection, it is recommended that people self-isolate as much as possible and avoid groups and crowds. The panic buying in the US has increased and people are stocking up and hunkering down. I think that will happen here too. People are increasingly very anxious and depressed, and our political leaders are not engendering confidence. It’s going to be a tough ride.

    • Ducks Nuts says:

      You think? It has started.
      My wife was unable to buy toilet paper this weekend. There are restrictions on rice and pasta. It’s not just a global pandemic, it’s a global panic

      • The Magpie says:

        Idle couple of thoughts about this nasty flu epidemic. People in Townsville … indeed in NQ coastal cities … should be ahead of the stocking up curve … don’t we all have cyclone supplies, which would certainly include toilet paper since there is nothing like seeing a cyclone bearing down on you to make you self-evacuate whille staying home.

        And in all . this global reporting, haven’t heard much if anything about how Russia is coping.

        • Achilles says:

          Re your query regarding Corona virus status in Russia. The virus is waiting for permission/orders from Czar Vladimir Putinginzebootski

  2. Mike Douglas says:

    Another great blog Pie especially your exposure of TRRA and as he sees himself as ” judge jury executioner “naming and shaming people with conspiracy theories Peter Newey . Its simply irresponsible for the cronies at TRRA to name and shame people and organizations then other hapless people make litigious responses which fit the same scenario as the recent court ruling in the School Principals favor bankrupting parents , and resulting in parents having to pay the Principal damages for unsubstantiated comments . As you have showed TRRA break their own charter as they are clearly supporting NQSA politically and as well as another independent and its the administrators mandate not the residents and ratepayers of Townsville . Whilst T.R.R.A,s claim is that they are here for the ratepayers +residents their Xenophobic attitude of foreign investment is not representative of the Townsville Community and could in turn cost the City . Still havnt seen any positives on the T.R.R.A. site about the stadium, Elton John, sold out Broncos vs Cowboys because the site is about negativity and the so called “we at T.R.R.A ” narcissism “.

    • The Magpie says:

      Under the political freedom banner, then, since Chris E (do we have spell his name every time?) was given such a rambling long free run, should not all the other mayoral candidates … or for that matter ALL candidates be welcome to make a statement on the TRRA site … INCLUDING JENNIFER LORRAINE HILL?

      Or maybe they’re smart enough not to be tainted by association with a site peopled by wild-eyed burnt out academics, scheming property speculators (who know Pete will say anything they tell him) and a whole brigade of idle sox’n’sandals shufflers and ladies with Nana flaps in floral print frocks, all led by a ‘facilitator’ in a tin foil hat.

  3. BR says:

    Congrats Magpie for highlighting the Townsville COVID-19 case(s) and importantly the timing.

    Many excellent health staff who work without political agendas are very worried how this was not mentioned before the Cowboys. It was made worse by the statement from the Premier.

    Hopefully the Southern media will do some digging on this.

    • The Magpie says:

      What digging? The Premier is a gift to lazy journos, she manages to bury herself on so many issues, including this one. And our champion of the underdog, Battling Boadicea Jenny Hill hid behind the dunny to let Anna Alphabet expose her city COVID-19.

  4. They keep lying says:

    I’m surprised Jenny Hill hasn’t opened up the disaster centre to “manage” the coronavirus pandemic. TCC have guidelines on how to deal with these issues so why hasn’t there been a single statement on it?

  5. Roseneath Red says:

    Les’s flurry of roadworks in Wulguru, Idalia, and Roseneath certainly are having the desired affect. The locals are furious at the planning mental capacity that commences heavy duty road construction in the middle of the wet . Bogged machinery gaping potholes and road closures…… not happy Les.

  6. Pat Coleman says:

    The labor members have been a bit late with that survey in relation to asking them not to take donations from people doing business with council. Take
    the case of Peter Bradshaw for instance , who among others was a “preferred supplier” of “the Provision of Arboriculture Services, Horticulture Services and Minor Works “ dated 23/7/2016 on Townsville Council’s list of contracts over $200K


    He donated $2000 to The Jenny Hill Gang on 2/3/2020 . Not looking for anything is he?? check https://disclosures.qld.gov.au/Map

    You will also see another $120k from clive.

    And there is a bit more of a problem with the realtime disclosure than people think. Yes, people can donate in the last week of the campaign and because of the requirement to disclose within 7 days not have to declare until AFTER the election , but added to that is the fact that the ECQ can hold off publishing for 6 days after the receipt of disclosure.

    Why is that an issue ? Well, the ECQ recognises its own failings , the ECQ is a Cuckhold. In order to avoid the charges of neglecting their duties they have to coverup the failings of others so as to not make it too obvious that they could have acted.

    The names of people who made donations on behalf of businesses and their addresses have not only not been displayed on the realtime, they have been removed. That donation from donation from Roy Currie of the XRS Business Center on 4/2/20 of $1320 to The JENNY HILL GANG has been changed to the name “Copiers of Excellence” . I had to google the names and make a call to confirm who made that donation. The law is there to make it easier. Its not being applied.

    The CCC boss said in in the Belcarra report that they held off prosecuting many people because there were time limits for prosecution and it would be “unfair” to those detected within time for them not to prosecute those off the hook.

    Its seem the ECQ is dragging it out so as to AVOID detection within time to bring that about again.

  7. Dave of Kelso says:

    Stay away from your religious Greek friends! Greek Orthodox Church proclaims CV19 cannot infect when sharing the same alter wine spoon.

    In these current times this medieval hogwash must be treated as criminal negligence endangering public health. FFS!


    • Fishframe says:

      Maybe there’s a reason the Greek empire declined so much and their best tourism sites are a bunch of broken buildings.

    • Mike Shearer says:

      Our federal parliament opens its sessions with prayers. Our legal top brass dedicate themselves in an annual church service. Why? if the god they are supplicating is not just a myth but is keeping a watchful eye on their activities, then why should he/she/it not be keeping the altar spoon safe?

      Or is the concern that the parliamentary prayers and legal brethren’s services clearly are ineffective, or the god is asleep on the job or doesn’t care, then it’d be prudent to assume the same negligent attitude to the church congregations.

    • Rowdy says:

      I don’t think too many parishioners will be heeding this advice. They will not want to expose their elderly.

  8. Dave of Kelso says:

    From the Woolworths Rasmussen web site;

    To support as many customers as possible, there is a limit of 1 pack of toilet paper per delivery order. Unfortunately toilet paper cannot be supplied to Pick up orders at this time. We apologise for the inconvenience and thank you for your patience.

    Does this mean that Woolworths is keeping toot paper for their online customers to the exclusion of all others?

    If so, and if it becomes common knowledge, there will be ugliness in the isles.

    • The Magpie says:

      Well, hang on a sec, mate … there would be media ugliness against Woolworths when those who HAVE to have their groceries (the old, the infirm, the …err .. incontinent) delivered could not get an item that is on the shelves. Besides, this toilet paper phenom is ludicrous … someday some academic with nothing else to do will get a big taxpayer funded grant to do a PhD on how this absolute nonsense started and spread.

      BTW, what makes you think there will be particular ugliness in Tonga, Fiji and the Solomons … or did you have some other ‘isles’ in mind?

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      After a phone call to Woolies; no toot paper for anyone. No resupply date.

  9. Critical says:

    I want to know how the government is going to ensure that any of the ALP protected juvenile
    species and their families are going to stay in quarantine if they get Covid-19. They can easily ellude the police and government authorities now so keeping them in quarantine is going to be a complete shambles.

    • The Magpie says:

      Well, indeed. So what DO YOU suggest, apart from heaving some political blame? This COVID-19 thing is going to slowly make people realise that cheap political nonsense are not helpful and goes nowhere.

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        Critical makes a valid point. An infectious recalcitrant malcontent is a dangerous person. Most CV19 precautions rely on community good will. The little snots have precious little of that. If a snot is required to self isolate and does, or cannot, the only answer is to place them in a secure facility. That can range from the Cleveland Youth Respite Centre, to being chained to a gum tree.

      • Critical says:

        Stuffed if I know, they have no respect for any form of authority and the government can’t afford to throw extra resources around to keep track of them. They all seem to have mobile phones so maybe use the Isreali method of tracking their phones, although there has been an outcry from certain groups that this is a massive invasion of privacy or impose curfews on them restricting their movement in public spaces.

        • The Magpie says:

          But how are you going to tell which ones are kiddy crims and which ones are just going about their business as they are entitled to do? Perhaps your suggestion of a city wide curfew on everybody is what will come to pass.

  10. Old Tradesman says:

    Has anyone read the article in the Sunday Snail, which says Hill’s name was not on the official plaque at the stadium, but that of a senior council bureaucrat was.

    • The Magpie says:

      No, but why would there be? She had absolutely bugger all influence over the fundings decisions, or even the location decision, that was pure Lozza Lancini. Why the council is involved in the plaque at all is a question.

  11. You Stink says:

    Well Mr Magpie, maybe you don’t stink after all. Quite a good effort this week and some interesting tidbits.

    You DON’T stink, this week anyway!

  12. The Magpie says:

    A scene repeated many times across Townsville this weekend.

  13. George Gently says:

    Farewell toilet paper, my dear and longtime friend. I will miss you (just used the last few sheets this morning). Hello garden hose, come and get me!

    On the bright side, my Proctologist has said for years that using water to wash you ring is far more hygienic and safe than using paper anyway. No choice now, so we’ll see! :)

    • The Magpie says:

      What’s the French for ‘bidet’?

      But there are still those thoughtless ones who simply throw away perfectly good, A-grade loo paper.

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        Sales of the Astonisher are about to soar, but it will stuffup your toot. Burn, bury, or bag for garbage collection day.

  14. Fishframe says:

    Word of warning for all Magpie readers about shortage of toilet paper. DON’T use a Karcher high pressure sprayer to wash your butt. Unless you need to remove mould…….

  15. One legged tap dancer says:

    The new Lancini stadium has 25,000 seats.
    On Saturday morning the Townsville Bulletin reported on page 2 of the sports section: “A healthy crowd of 22,459 filled Queensland Country Bank Stadium last night…”
    So what happened to the “sold out” stadium reported a week before the game?
    To be fair, some people might have bought tickets but stayed at home to avoid getting the Coronavirus from those pesky visiting Broncos fans, but if that was the case most of them bought their tickets in the nose bleed seats, right up the back of the eastern grandstand, where there were rows of empty seats.
    Can someone from the Cowboys please explain?
    And while they’re at it, can we have an explanation (or excuse) for:
    – kicking the ball out on the full to open the game
    – Cowboys players missing SIX consecutive tackles in one play that led to a Broncos try
    With the coronavirus likely to shut down the stadium for a few months at least, it looks like Lozza Lancini is getting out of town at the right time.

    • The Magpie says:

      On Friday night’s performance, they’d better get Centre of Excellence next door asap. Drinkwater and Holmes took a while to settle down but showed they will be crowd pullers in the future. And, Dancer, what a wasted exercise in questioning something in the Astonisher – believe it, The ‘Pie should know. And when ‘Adjective Central’ uses the ambiguous ‘healthy’ to describe the crowd, they seem to know the occasion wasn’t what they wanted. But The ‘Pie thought it quite OK, if a bit subdued in the stands, the stadium is here, let’s hope it provides a diversion from our everyday woes and some relief for CBD traders. But PLEASE, stop with the flashing lights after a try … the lighting set-up just makes it look like a mistake and serves absolutely no purpose.

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        Lets face it, they were pathetic, half asleep and were outplayed and out muscled by a more enthusiastic team, hard to fathom considering all the hype surrounding the game. I am about as solid as fairy floss when it comes to being a Cowboys supporter, it takes a big effort to lever me out of my armchair in front of the TV and go to the game, although I won’t have to worry about making that choice for a while by the looks of things anyway.

    • Mundingbird says:

      While we are at it,what is the go with the Bar Service [sic],it is atrocious ! Same at Elton John concert.

      • Novak says:

        I agree, Tanti Voter. One would have thought they would have been taught how to pour a beer and use the cash register BEFORE the game – as it was, they were getting on the job training – slow and frustrating. This was the case even in the members bar. On what was perhaps their busiest night ever, only two out of the four registers in the fish n chips outlet were open.

        I gauged that the place was 85% full. What I did notice that the empty seats were in mostly in the same block areas, not here and there. Which seems to suggest that demand ran out before supply did.

        Regardless, it was an enjoyable night and the crowd drained away efficiently. Except for that belligerent drunken oaf who stood at the top of the stairs, blocking access and challenging anyone who asked him to stand aside.

  16. Alahazbin says:

    As Sam says, it is a complete waste of time answering that loaded questionnaire.
    Most of those questions cannot be answered by a yes or no.

    • The Magpie says:

      And none of them would change a person’s vote, give the far more pressing priorities facing the new council. Low level game playing by an increasingly irrelevant political rump. Bumptious.

  17. Fishframe says:

    Over the years, I think our limiting factor in selling out a stadium (even the old one) for a footy game, was availability of accomodation in Townsville. To fully fill 25,000 it would require support from all our regional country friends and there is just not enough beds to house them.

    • The Magpie says:

      There is no way any event, with the possible exception of the now wobbly Horn fight, wouldn’t attract more than 5000 people requiring accomodation, and that includes overnighters from surrounding places. Don’t know what Townsville capacity is in that area (someone?) but haven’t heard of any ‘No Vacancy’ stories for a few years now.

  18. Alahazbin says:

    Thinking of TCC (don’t know why, probably corona virus) But where did that toxic bitch Adele the Impaler end up?

    • 13 Days says:

      Maybe you should ask some of the councillors, who have all remained friends with her. Or Dolan. Kyle Walker perhaps? Or the VC of CQU. George Addison might know. Or perhaps a few business people… Clayton Cook, Declan Carnes, Joe Gedoun, Paul Spina, Rabieh Krayem, John Caligiri?

      Sadly these people either never learned what a toxic bitch she is; they are naive; or they like it like that.

  19. Achilles says:

    Philippines with a population of around 80million has declared a Nation wide curfew from 8PM to 5AM. They have sent in the police AND the military to enforce same.
    All cases thus far have been due to overseas contacts, and with daily temps in mid to high 30’s along with 90% humidity, the survival prospects for these bugs is very slim.
    However based on the latest statistics there has only been 111 cases.

  20. Lady Byron says:

    Another wonderful blog Pie!

    Just quietly, the Maggie Island residents are getting a bit angst over here regarding this Corona/Covid19 Virus.

    On Friday afternoon my husband and I visited the local IGA to find no toilet paper whatsoever, but strangely on Saturday, the Mitre 10 hardware store had a sign out front saying they had rolls of the soft white stuff.

    Locals are saying if the virus rages and infections rise on the mainland, we may have to tell Sealink Ferries to f**k off and segregate the whole island.

    And today we find out the LNP & “Scotty from Marketing” is introducing a 14-day self-quarantine for anyone arriving in the country? That screaming you can hear is our island tourist industry falling off a cliff.

    But on a bum note – and as you wisely recommend – I’m currently stockpiling old copies of the Astonisher: it’s full of crap stories anyway, so, after reading, it may be something I need to put behind me.


  21. One legged tap dancer says:

    The point I made about the crowd at the Cowboys game on Friday night was it was declared a sellout a week prior to the game, then was more than 2000 seats shy of capacity.
    I know people who wanted to go to the game but didn’t bother trying to buy tickets because the media said there were none left ( and no denial from the Cowboys).
    Surely if there were seats unsold in the last few days before the game someone from Cowboys marketing would have let the media, and therefore the public, know.
    Or was it simply a case of not wanting to admit the game wasn’t a sellout after all?
    Cowboys, Jenny Hill, anyone?

    • I’ll be plucked says:

      Just let it go Legless, right now! What you are going on about is completely inconsequential to other matters on our radar and minds at the moment.

      That game was Friday night, today is Sunday and the country is heading into lock down territory, with folks getting sick and possibly dying. Fuck it mate, no one gives a rats arse about what you are currently pedalling, except maybe you and some of your mates/family???

  22. I’ll be plucked says:

    PS Legless, 2000 or so empty seats (as you claim) is great – 2000 folks who weren’t possibly exposed to this awful, out of control beast that is lurking amongst us!!!

  23. Dave Sth says:

    Evening Pie. Just some musings. Firstly, Sam I am one for giving credit where it is due even to those who I am opposed to their views like I have on occasion with my ex-representative Cr Jacob. I was critical about your campaign in one posting a few months back. However well done for finally stepping up to the plate. Now you need to keep the pressure up, I would like nothing more than to relocate back to the north where I can be a little more secure in my employment & that aint happening with AWU puppet Jenny along with her ALP puppet masters in Peel st Sth Brisbane and Lancini types (as I know he isn’t the only one), lurking in the shadows. The north deserves better and if I could vote for you, like I did when Thuringowa was extended to the northern beaches I probably would given your very recent form.

    OK now for other issues. As for the CDB as noted, as a rate payer I have had enough. Enough public money has been spent for nil result. All I am seeing is the eye-sores moving from one area to the next as the whoever is left moves to the newer areas and the older areas become deserted & boarded up. I admit I don’t have a solution but I can at least see when reinforcing failure is not a viable option. I will be honest diverging on some of the heritage issues as IMO we need to preserve some of the past which IMO developers could work around and is opposed to most here but the constant government interference at both levels inconsistently picking winners and making others losers seems to be a hindrance.

    As for the ALP survey, well I hope the candidates just blew it off. WALOS, I am getting wholeheartedly over the genuflecting to the ATSI alter as someone who possibly (yes never positively identified as they don’t care) has relations with this bloodline. As for so called climate emergency, quite sure the rank & file who are struggling to pay the bills or get work in the city wouldn’t give the foggiest.

    As for panic buying, LOL the north loves a good panic buy. However I am amazed at the choice of product even here in NSW that I amuse the locals about basically saying grog, gennie fuel then tinned food usually the priority in that order in NQ. However date rolls, really???

    • Alahazbin says:

      Hey! DS, Didn’t you see the three women having a blue about the date roll at a Woolies supermarket and it wasn’t in Qld.

    • Sam Cox says:

      Dave all campaigns take many forms at different stages. I am putting forward policies and direction while pointing out Hill’s failures.
      She has to not lose the race , I have to finish!

    • Fishframe says:

      Best you stay down South. It sounds pretty dire up here. But don’t feel sorry for us, our smaller population density is an advantage against Covid-19. Townsville went backwards real quickly when Qld Nickel shut down. With an est. $900m per year CAPEX disappearing from the local economy the working population dropped dramatically. . Townsville CBD woes are a result of never evolving with the real world while our growth moved away from the city centre out past Kirwan. Blame the town planners for not knowing what they were doing. Banks knew what was coming – my first job in the 80’s with a major bank in Flinders St was in a Bank owned property with over 100 in that one branch alone. By 1995 all that bank’s property had been sold and leased back with staffing cut by 80%.

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        That highlights the failure of Jenny Hill and the council under her administration. This council has done not thing but fuck around anyone wanting to develop hi res projects in Townsville for years now, to the point we are well known as a place not to do business anymore, just too difficult, lots of other places easier to spend your money, and probably get a better return, hence why no private money is being investing in Townsville.

    • Cappuccino in hand says:

      The only thing that will save the CBD is an increase in Townsville’s population. Sam Cox’s plan to make Townsville the Water Capital of Australia (endorsed by WFT types) is the only thing that will boost our economy and therefore population. Not stadiums, not water parks, not zip lines, not underwater art, not battery factories.

      Give Australian industry a city with an airport, rail links, a shipping port and a guarantee of water and we’ll be knocked over in the rush to establish business here.

  24. Sam Cox says:

    Councillor Hill wedged by her own party.
    The Mayor Hill’s video reply to the wedge from the hard Left is another case of how politics is best kept out of local councils

    The Mayors Trainwreck campaign
    gets even worse after a series of crisis meetings were held in Townsville this weekend after her Party bosses stepped in to try and sandbag her vote.

    Despite depending on imported party spinmeisters and the Brisbane heirachy to run her campaign, the Mayor has been forced by her own team members to publicly reject the Labor party survey sent to candidates over the weekend.

    Call me cynical if I question the Mayor’s motives, but after nearly 8 years I do wonder why she has waited until just two weeks before the council elections to show some spine?

    • Hillsong says:

      The Mullet is indeed getting nervous. Sam, from a campaign perspective you were a little slow out of the gate, but you have gained momentum. Team Hill are toxic (and that includes her active social media staff – her daughter from BCC). They are starting to panic. I believe if you stick to the core issues Sam, without any fancy campaign music and balloons and whistles, you are in with a good shot. Keep your emotions in check and remain cool while under fire. The purple doona lady won’t fire up the worst of her dirty tricks for another week, then it will be all out war. Keep the pressure on Sam, she is starting to buckle. The Goodyear could explode!

      • The Magpie says:

        Geez, don’t say that, it took us long enough to get Sam to let his emotions on the loose. And the interesting thing this time around is that the Bulletin might not be so amenable to her or Dolan’s ‘dirty tricks’ this time around. And that can’t be good news for MayorMullet, because Sam’s most valuable asset is his lack of baggage. In political terms, he’s a small target. Even attacking his days as an MP ring hollow, because he was a good electorate rep, many of the Newman key laws were immediately adopted by Labor when they came to power, and only got rolled through Newman’s political ineptitude.

    • Polka Dot says:

      It’s not spine, Sam, it’s self preservation or it might be called social distancing now. Set up some distance from a person/brand that is not doing you any (in this case, electoral) favours.

  25. J Jones says:

    So the footy parking went well – no bitching I can find yet

    • The Magpie says:

      Maybe still looking for their cars or waiting for a bus? hardy hah hah, but you have a point, seems things may have gone well on the night. Although the real test there would be how did Palmer Street before and Via Vomitorium afterwards go? Probably an academic question for the moment with COVID-19 likely to make both ghost towns for the time being. The virus will surely change the social structure of the inner city when we come out the other side. Plenty of time to reflect when the damage is surveyed. Sadly but perhaps in the long run, positively.

  26. OWL says:

    On the subject of Arts, Sports and other beads and blankets, does anyone know of a regular service to the underwater “Art” that was dumped on the reef a few months back? I feel a need to sip the bubbles and wax lyrical over this maritime interpretation of the “Urban Atlantis” exhibition that we “had to have” back in early 2019.

    • NQ Gal says:

      OWL – I haven’t heard anything about a regular service, but interesting to note that Qantas are now flogging it as one of the “37 Best Australian Escapes to Book Now” and that it is opening next month.

      At least this project happened, unlike some of the other much hyped and quietly dropped ones.

      • OWL says:

        Have not heard of Sealink getting all excited about running a regular service yet. Am a bit worried about how the pashmina will hold up in the salt spray. Will seasickness detract from interpreting the artist’s subliminal messaging?

    • Grumpy says:

      Still waiting for the wet-suited artsy folk to inundate us whist throwing handfuls of cash around. Oh wait, Corona V…

  27. The Magpie says:

    Our transparent Mayor, Jenny Hill, must have known about this for almost a year – if she didn’t, why didn’t she? Ratepayers assets are involved. No wonder she went suddenly silent on this dangerously irresponsible deal.

    The following sounds complex and difficult to understand but relevant
    Magnis Financial Report Half
    From page 7: https://www.asx.com.au/asxpdf/20200313/pdf/44g1vd5d8z0dm1.pdf
    In August 2018, Imperium3 Townsville (“iM3TSV”), the subsidiary of Imperium3 Pty Ltd, of which the Company owns one third, received government approvals for a $3.1M grant supporting the Feasibility Study (FS) into the establishment of a LIB manufacturing plant in Townsville, Queensland….
    From page 27:  https://www.asx.com.au/asxpdf/20200313/pdf/44g1vd5d8z0dm1.pdf
    Subsequent to the period end, Magnis executed a Dissolution of Partnership Agreement between the Imperium3 Consortium members being Magnis Energy Technologies Limited (‘Magnis”), Charge CCCV LLC (“C4V”), Boston Energy and Innovation Pty Ltd (“BEI”) and Imperium3 Pty Limited (“iM3”). The Agreement terminates all rights and responsibilities of the consortium members including payments for exclusive license of C4V chemistry for use by iM3 projects. Whilst separate licencing agreements are to be executed between C4V and each of the iM3 projects subject to ongoing negotiation, the cancellation of rights to receive royalty income from the projects has resulted in a reduction in the carrying value of Magnis’ investment in C4V

    • Hillsong says:

      Agree with you Hair Pie. There is no way she didn’t know about this. I don’t believe the information was held from her as she is a bully and a micro manager (and a poor dresser) so the question that perhaps Sam could ask her publicly is this;
      For how long as she known about the details of the Magnis report?
      If she knew about the report, then why has she not said anything?
      If she didn’t know, then that is poor Governance and can she please explain why she was never told?

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      Battery plant? What battery plant?

    • Fishframe says:

      I’ve been thinking this myself. Could only be ignorance or stupidity?

    • The Magpie says:

      A well informed reader has sent this letter this week.
      Dear Minister Cameron Dick MP and Director-General Rachel Hunter

      I refer to my Ministerial dated 16 February 2020, which you have received.

      Today, I wish to add, the relevant company Magnis Energy Technologies Limited disclosed the following information in its recent Financial Report for the Half Year Ended 31 December 2019, here: https://www.asx.com.au/asxpdf/20200313/pdf/44g1vd5d8z0dm1.pdf

      From page 7: In August 2018, Imperium3 Townsville (“iM3TSV”), the subsidiary of Imperium3 Pty Ltd, of which the Company owns one third, received government approvals for a $3.1M grant supporting the Feasibility Study (FS) into the establishment of a LIB manufacturing plant in Townsville, Queensland….

      From page 27: Subsequent to the period end, Magnis executed a Dissolution of Partnership Agreement between the Imperium3 Consortium members being Magnis Energy Technologies Limited (‘Magnis”), Charge CCCV LLC (“C4V”), Boston Energy and Innovation Pty Ltd (“BEI”) and Imperium3 Pty Limited (“iM3”). The Agreement terminates all rights and responsibilities of the consortium members including payments for exclusive license of C4V chemistry for use by iM3 projects. Whilst separate licencing agreements are to be executed between C4V and each of the iM3 projects subject to ongoing negotiation, the cancellation of rights to receive royalty income from the projects has resulted in a reduction in the carrying value of Magnis’ investment in C4V.

      While the situation above is not clear, it appears the Imperium3 Townsville Consortium, which proposed to build a battery plant at Lansdown Station, has possibly been dissolved.

      It is unclear if the information above relates only to Magnis’s USA activities or whether it relates to both USA and Townsville activities.

      My view is, for the purpose of accountably and transparency under the Act, the Chief Executive must clarify the above matters.

  28. Achilles says:

    Mate’s wife was bitching about how uncomfortable it is to wear a face mask against the COVID19.

    I suggested she consider the plight of the poor bloody Muslim Sheila’s “forced” to not only wear a mask but a bloody heat absorbing black tent. all the time.

    The blokes wear a nice cool white gown sans face mask, where are the femma-nazi’s on this one? Looks like religion trumps equality, humanity and dignity!

  29. Last Drinks says:

    Gee you lot are getting desperate. Sam, have you worked out what party you are in. The LNP didnt want you, you were a loser for the Loonie Party. Now, you are an independent. Mate, you are a lightweight. Magpie, when Jenny wins, can you start another Election Clock. You need an outlet as an antidote for your ever diminishing relevance.

    • The Magpie says:

      Keep reading and posting, mate.

      • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

        Hey Last Drinks – can we do a quick fact check on whether Jenny Hill and her team are ALP, ALP-backed, Independent, or whatever from week to week.

        Jeez mate, have you never heard the parable of the pot and the kettle?

      • Sam1 says:

        Sounds like he/she/it has had too many last drinks.

    • Just Say'n says:

      Hey LD,

      Is that you Les?

      What a breath of fresh air you are.

      You seem to be keeping an eye on that election clock. Perhaps you might consider changing your handle to “Last Couple of Pay Days”

      You might be right about Jenny though, a stake through the heart would be about the only thing that will get rid of her.

      But if you are Les, mate you’re a goner.

      • Last Drinks says:

        Not Les or ALP, just a different point of view to the neanderthals on here. I mean, chucking off at a woman about her dress sense and her weight. FMD, are you all in primary school? I actually met Mrs Hill recently and found her friendly and helpful.
        A damn sight better mayor than some we have had. If you think Sam Cox is the answer, vote for him on policies, not how he looks and dresses. Give our present Mayor the same courtesy.

        • Russell says:

          Yes Last Drinks – Precisely!!!

        • Dave of Kelso says:

          L D,

          A better Mayor than some we have had? FFS! Which, and what is your criteria.

          Spell it out, or are you a late campaign Jenny Hill labor troll.

          Predictable, pathetic, inevitable, and ineffective.

        • Dave of Kelso says:

          I’ll say this again.

          Jenny Hill is a bare faced liar!

          Heard it from her first hand. I have told my story of this encounter on this blog a couple of times before over the years. No need to repeat it again. I say this sincerely, Jenny Hill is a trouble making liar hell-bent on further her own purposes.

          • Alahazbin says:

            DoK, why do you think Verena Coombe has bowed out and chosen her words carefully. She knows how vindictive the mullet can be.

          • The Magpie says:

            She was also on the fiscal committee, and probably wanted to get it before it hits the fan.

        • Achilles says:

          When you “met Mrs Hill” did she pat your guide dog?

        • Cantankerous but happy says:

          Friendly and helpful? Might be because there is an election coming up, if she is still Mayor in April every chance she will just tell you to fuck off.

        • The Rolling Eye says:

          @LD Hi there young one. Still under the thumb I see? You’ll figure things out in time and regret your inherited position as a cog in the machine. Toodles.

  30. The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

    Got a call from a friend living in Aitkenvale where residents have just been delivered a flyer “introducing” incumbent councillor Murray Soars.

    You might think that after four years of active representation people should know him. Perhaps Team Overthe Hill have finally realised that keeping their councillors in a broom cupboard all the time means no one knows them or cares about them.

    A real pity Ray Gartrell didn’t run. I bet he still has greater public recognition over that way after four years in the wilderness than the current clown.

    • Achilles says:

      That’s not a broom cupboard, its a garage where HRH Jenny parks her back-up transport.

    • Achilles says:

      Bloody hell! when I saw the name I thought is was a medical term for the itchy crotch I got after swimming in the mighty Murray at Swan Hill a few years ago.

    • Hercule Poirot says:

      For one Legged tap Dancer… Without defending Cr Soares Part of his Division has Changed. I don’t about parts of Annandale but the Parts of Cranbrook that i reside in has changed and now Soares is the local Councillor.. I would have thought That the Material Introducing Cr Soares would only have been placed in the Letter boxes of the new area that he got following the Redistribution ..

      • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

        Dear Froggy,

        I checked in with my associate who lives deep in the “Aitkenvale Activation (of hooning, crime, graffiti, streets paved in rubbish, and homelessness) Area” which he tells me has been Maurie (sorery – spelled it wrongly yesterday) Sores’ heartland from the beginning.

  31. Fishframe says:

    What’s the bet Mullet is trying her hardest to get the Election postponed due to Covid-19? About the only strategy left that she hasn’t tried.

  32. The Magpie says:

    An interesting perspective, and excellent article on pandemics in history.

  33. Fishframe says:

    Senator Susan McDonald has Covid-19. Look at her Facebook page to see who she was standing next to on Thursday. Antonio Winterstien !

    • The Magpie says:

      Since you’ve used an exclamation mark, your point is? Winterstein retired from footy two years ago.

    • The Magpie says:

      And what a lovely old fashion gal the senator is, and what a blow-in. She said she didn’t feel well on Friday, so she went to the Townsville BASE Hospital … something the former Townsville General and now the Townsville University Hospital never has been, until the University tag a few months ago, it has always been The Townsville General hospital at two sites in North Ward and now at Douglas.

  34. Hee Haw says:

    The genius’ or is genius’s? At TEL are in constant dialogue with the NRL to hold all the NRL games in Townsville with crowds attending.
    The hundreds of comments seem to be telling them how stupid that idea is.

    Our rates money hard at work. Also what the fuck would it have to do with TEL

    • The Magpie says:

      Really, what does anything have to with TEL? Especially when we have supposedly got elected and a bureaucracy to make those decisions. This organisation is moving from dopey to dangerous.

  35. One legged tap dancer says:

    To Trumpet supporters out there, read this:
    The American president is a grub, which doesn’t say a lot for the mindless Americans who want to give him another 4 years to plan World War III.

    • I’ll be plucked says:

      Hey Legless, first let me make it absolutely crystal clear that I am speaking for myself, given your sensitivity around my remarks re the stadium and Covid 2019.

      Trump is looking an almost certainty to win a second term. There are enough US citizens who agree with his punchy, arrogant and and haphazard approach to leadership. He also does things to appease groups within the masses and they like that over there!

    • Tropical says:

      Not true – fake news. This rubbish was covered widely by Fox yesterday.
      When Rick Grenell says it is rubbish then it is rubbish.
      NBC has less credibility than CNN and even less viewers.

      • The Magpie says:

        But of course, when the President picks a man for his honesty, expertise and experience, how could we even consider that he not call out the ‘rubbish’ of a damning Trump move confirmed by the German government.

        This from that pinko lefty socialist un-American New York Times.

        WASHINGTON — President Trump on Wednesday named Richard Grenell, the ambassador to Germany who quickly antagonized the establishment after arriving in Berlin in 2018, to be the acting director of national intelligence overseeing the nation’s 17 spy agencies.

        By choosing Mr. Grenell, who has little experience in intelligence or in running a large bureaucracy, the president signaled that he wants a trusted, aggressive leader atop an intelligence community that he has long viewed with suspicion and at times gone to war against.

        As ambassador, Mr. Grenell made public statements that some German officials took as expressing opposition to the government there, an extraordinary intervention into domestic affairs that diplomats typically avoid. He attacked what he called “failed” open-border policies in Germany, which has resettled hundreds of thousands of Syrian refugees, and criticized Berlin’s stances on Iran, military spending and Chinese investment in global telephone networks. He also expressed an eagerness to empower conservatives throughout Europe.

  36. Not surprised says:

    Interesting letter to the editor in the Townsville Bulletin about how the TCC CEO fails to deliver on his promises. I reckon that would be a long list if anyone is keeping track.

  37. George Gently says:

    Just read that Mr Potato Head has been released from hospital and is on the loose! Not too much for him to do at the moment with borders virtually closed around the world and international airports facing closure.

    Wonder what mischief he will get up to now? Can’t argue with the fact that he and the Fed Govt have cleaned up what was an incredible mess for our borders and by default us as a community.

    • The Magpie says:

      Dutton’s hospitalisation and now discharge raises the question of overkill. If he can get over whatever he had in such a short time, did he actually need to take up a hospital bed? Surely he could’ve been treated at home in isolation, freeing up a hospital bed for one of the more seriously ill 20%. These official response measures are now starting to smack of being the real unthinking panic, in line with toilet paper. For instance, three days of footy before the close down … was that some sort magic weekend immunity? And gatherings of no more than 500 people? Why is 500 the magic number?

      And just so you heard it here first … if the government passes certain laws, state or Federal, about restricting and regulating gathering numbers and movements within Australia, will they guarantee those measures will be removed or highly and openly restricted to health issues once the vaccine arrives and COVID-19 is defeated? Indeed, if the government doesn’t give such a guarantee, will Labor? Greens? One Notion? Recent history shows that unexpected opportunities have resulted in massive erosions of our freedoms in this country, will this be the next step the government takes advantage of?

      • The Magpie says:

        And the suggestion of running the entire rugby league schedule out of Townsville, all teams supposedly doing turn about at Total Tools stadium. TOTAL GENius … just one player has to cough and fart at the same time, ordered to be tested along with any opposing teams and their contingents he has played against, and it’s likely the whole city will go into lock-down. Have they really thought about this? Or haven’t they got past the flashing dollar signs to look at the real possible cost?

        But don’t smack your forehead at this … it’s not allowed.

      • I’ll be plucked says:

        Interesting comments Pie – or, is there preference being ‘covertly’ given to some at the expense of others??? Just wondering!

      • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

        Exactly what I was thinking – authorities tell people who are sick to remain home and in isolation so hospital beds can be kept for those who really need them.

        It seems that those who “really need them” are our ruling elite. I hope Dutton and McDonald were able to leaf through Orwell’s “1984” during their taxpayer funded hospital rest.

        • The Magpie says:

          Don’t think there’s any evidence of ‘ruling elite’ favouritism generally, and one would think our national and state leadership, who make decisions on our behalf with information to which are not always completely privy to, and no matter what one’s opinion of them, have a right to extra-cautious care to continue in their roles. But the evidence so far is that more than any elite are being hospitalised, and is solely based on informed medical advice.

        • Polythene Pam says:

          I would hope that Senator McDonald spent her time in hospital learning the correct name of the hospital – we haven’t had a “base” hospital in Townsville since Orwell last visited in 1944, if at all.

          • The Magpie says:

            Never did have. In it’s three location, it was Townsville General Hospital (‘general’ apparently meant it was training hospital in the original meaning), then simply The Townsville Hospital when nit moved to Douglas, then the Townsville University hospital it morphed into just recently (which is a good thing, linking the JCU nurses diploma program with the real thing).

      • Westie says:

        I would not be recommending trying to double guess the experts.

        Just follow their advice without question. Sure they might get it wrong, but they have a better chance than we keyboard warriors of getting it right on balance.

        Face it, people are dying here, and a lot more are going to die. Try not to be the reason that more die than are necessary.

        • The Magpie says:

          Just follow their advice WITHOUT QUESTION? Chilling historic phrase, that, Herr Comrade Westie. Are you frightened of catching a question? The ‘Pie’s question was a constructive one regarding Dutton, and as to the other speculation, it is certainly a valid consideration now, and when the current helter skelter is over (come the antidote). Or would The ‘Pie, in suggesting such a question about temporary measures becoming permanent for pernicious reasons, cause … ummm, a panic?

  38. I’ll be plucked says:

    Happy St Paddy’s Day to all out there who are Irish, of Irish decent, or want to be Irish! Unfortunately Paddy has a touch of the Virus at the moment, we wish him a speedy recovery and can raise a glass to him at home today!

  39. Mike Shearer says:

    Been trying without success to get info on what happens when someone arrives in Brisbane from Singapore with no indication of COVID-19 infection, and wants to travel on to Townsville by air. Anybody have experience of such?

    I haven’t found any relevant info on federal and state health dept websites, nor the airlines’. The travel related advice generally is meaningful only to residents of the capital cities, and assumes land-based access to resources, including airport-to-home transport.

    • Fishframe says:

      I thought it was mandatory 14 day self isolation.

      • Mick says:

        When you reach your final destination.

        • Mike Shearer says:

          But how do you get there?

          • Golden Years says:

            Mike i just came through Brisbane from Singapore. Disembarked to 2 people in full hazard gear and hande a form to complete and hand in at the gate. Form required name, address, whether i had travelled to China, Korea or Italy and also a declaration to self quarantine. This completed form was handed to a staff member at the gate with no protective gear. Took the shuttle to the Domestic airport where i waited a few hours, flew to Townsville with no restrictions or holdups, grabbed a taxi home and have been self isolating since.

          • The Magpie says:

            You can kill a bit of time watching Home Alone.

  40. Astonished says:

    Received a flyer in my letterbox today from Cr Ann-Maree Greaney.
    Don’t know how it got there as I have a very clear NO JUNK MAIL sign.
    But I read it anyway to see just what she is promising in her bid for another 4 years on the ratepayers payroll.
    Her “Plan for Div 3″ includes:
    “Support the vital role of arts, culture and events in the Townsville Community.”
    The arts community will be rolling in the aisles when they read that one. What happened to the proposed new entertainment and convention centre Ann-Maree? Did it get dumped to make way for the Cowboys Centre of Excellence? And exactly what have you done during the last 3 years to get the arts hub built?
    “Better footpath connectivity across the division.”
    Do you mean like the dogs breakfast you have turned Palmer St into, with one block turned into one-way to provide a wider footpath for the only 2 restaurants on that side of the road? Not forgetting of course that the $7 million roadworks will result in 11 extra car park spaces. That’s around $640,000 per car park! Any reason this money wasn’t used to fix all the potholes around town?
    “Greening Townsville with more trees across city roads and parks.”
    Like the hundreds of trees all over town that died through neglect and had to be replaced? What did all that cost Ann-Maree?
    The flyer goes on to say “If it is important to you, it’s important to Ann-Maree!”
    Well, transparency is important to me, so why do you and your “team” make decisions behind closed doors?
    Look forward to your response Ann-Maree. I know you read this blog on a daily basis.

    • Fishframe says:

      The Cowboys Centre of Exellence is being replaced by the Council Centre of Averagism. They will be dumping Jamie Durie and bringing in a magician – Cosentino, who will teach them the ways of disappearing after being elected. Message Bank Walker, who excels in disapearing, will be assisting Cosentino in the coaching.

  41. George Gently says:

    There is apparently a couple of drugs in current circulation that work on slowing down and eradicating CoVid-19. One of them is a drug used to treat aids.

    Apparently both of these drugs are on the PBS and readily available. Reporting says they have been used as early intervention with some CoVid positive patients, in some Australian hospitals. More trials expected with more to come.

    A glimmer of hope? Reports are saying that patients improve in 3 days.

  42. Mr Buzzy says:

    Apparently the sale of sex toys, lubricants and other associated items have jumped 31%. I shit you not! Also Pornhub is offering discounts or free streaming for people as a token of good will. Gold!!!

    • The Magpie says:

      One is thrown into deep contemplation when an outfit called Pornhub offers something called ‘free streaming’. That’s Forrest Gump territory, you never know what you’re goin’ to get.

    • Fishframe says:

      People are going crazy. Maybe they want people to stay at home by themselves. Can you catch Covid-19 from yourself? My neighbours tried to buy a small chest freezer on the weekend. Sold out all over town. They were told to come back in June. Angliss Meats in Castletown had a sign up when I was there yesterday – “Toilet Paper, $2.00 per roll”.

  43. Unbelievable says:

    How could they stoop so low?
    the townsville bulletin online this afternoon is trying to use the coronavirus threat to sell subscriptions
    This is definitely unethical, and maybe even illegal.

    • The Magpie says:

      This is simply despicable and the iditor should have it withdrawn immediately. The message is clear: if you don’t support Rupert with a subscription to one of his sensationalist and greatly repudiated rags, then you deserve to die, or at least get sick. And bugger all that stuff about ‘We’re For You’, you’re for yourselves and in the most base and anti-social way.

      • Achilles says:

        It would be interesting to see if this is actually a “local” proposition on all of Rupert’s papers?
        In which case it was ordered from above and the new iditor just saluted and followed orders.

        • The Magpie says:

          Think if you have a more careful re-read, that is part of the point being made about ‘one of his rags’. But it certainly was a Holt St HQ idea, as said across all mastheads, just like these tiresome lists, ‘vote for’ subscription raisers and ‘best of’ drivel. Still doesn’t make it OK for locals to stand by and cop it.

          • Achilles says:

            My point was to see if the other Rupee’s papers were as blatant as this odious proposition.

          • The Magpie says:

            The Townsville Bulletin is more likely to be a Walkley contender than the Sydney Terrorgraph.

  44. The Robbers Dog says:

    Crims breaking into homes are currently after car keys, but will now be adding toilet paper, tissues and paper towel to the theft booty. Lock up your stash, it’s the new gold.

    We had a catch up last night and added the above.

    • I’ll be plucked says:

      Come through my window, or door, Dog and I’ll give you a big serve with my cattle prod you creature!

  45. Townsville bullshitin says:

    “BREAKING NEWS” Mayor jenny hill updates latest COVID-19 Breakthrough in possible cure for Townsville residents! She was also quoted as saying that all current councillors can come out of quarantine. “4yrs should be enough time to contain the virus” the mayor stated.

    • Guy says:

      Actually as a point of interest, nostradamus’ day job used to be plague doctor.

      In those days a plague doctor would be appointed by a town to manage a governmental response to the black death.

      Funny enough it was understood by the doctor that touching the patient was a bad idea, a plague doctor would carry a stick to examine the patient from a distance. The idea being discharge from the patient should be avoided. The funny masks they wore most likely mitigated the chance of droplets falling on their face – though the actual reasoning was to contain dries flowers to create fragrant air to be breathed in by the doctor.

      As for semmelweis : the man who invented hand washing ( also known as ” The saviour of mothers”) , he suddenly discovered that hand washing helped prevent infection. After proving hand washing (AND sterilizing theatre tools with a chlorine wash) he tried with little response from the medical community to institute a doctrine of cleanliness amongst doctors/ medical staff – in his time germ theory didn’t even exist. It was decided he was mad. Using an acquaintance he was lured under false pretext to a lunatic asylum where all that crazy talk about infection control could be properly managed. Two weeks after being forceably admitted to the asylum he was beaten to death by the staff. So ended the life of semmelweis : the man who invented hand washing.

    • Alahazbin says:

      Pie, That list in today’s Astonisher of the pollie’s that are self isolating. I thought some of them have self isolating fir the last 4 years.

  46. Frequent flyer says:

    FFS you meat heads. Are you trying to make light of what is becoming a disaster in which good people will die?
    Try to do something positive for a change. Like delivering some of your hoarded toilet paper to older people who are running short.
    The “I’m alright jack” theory is wearing thin.

  47. Critical says:

    Some readers may find useful factual information on these sites. A level of duplication of information between the health information sites but you can skip over the duplicated information.

    I’ve also added information that I could find on financial assistance to business and individuals.

    Happy reading to interested readers.

    Australian Dept. of Health

    QLD Health

    World Health Organisation (WHO)

    Centres for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)

    Australian Government Economic Response to Covid-19- Assistance available to business and individuals

    QLD government business support

    QLD government payroll tax deferral information

  48. Thinkingoutloud says:

    So today’s Herbert River Express has a photo of Cllr “crispy crème” Cripps with the Freckle apparently taken on Friday, after his exposure to Senator McDonald.

    We learned yesterday that Crispy Crème was in self isolation, being informed on Monday evening.

    Why did the Freckle attend Parliament yesterday and not self isolate as required?

    The Freckle was at the footy Friday night too…….

    • Pat Coleman says:

      Like yesterday after opening, todays 18/3/20 Townsville pre=poll is gonna be packed. Crowd numbers restricted? Doesn’t look like it.

      • I’ll be plucked says:

        Well Pat, at least some of them are 1.5m apart, from the pics, minimising the risk.

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        I was there this morning. About 130 people inside. Under the circumstances I reccon there should be less. It would just mean more people outside in the fresh air. Sam was in good spirits.

  49. Old Tradesman says:

    Thinkingoutloud, I am led to believe that No No Nanette who had been in contact with Dametto was out shaking hands and hugging people at prepoll yesterday.

    • I’ll be plucked says:

      So what Oldie! Fuck me, everyone needs to take a chill pill, shut the fuck up with the theorising, look after themselves and close family.

      • The Magpie says:

        The ‘so what’, Dumb Clucker, is that there is one rule for all, so if our putative ‘leaders’ are flouting the rules, it is reasonable to question them.

        • Fishframe says:

          Magpie is correct.

        • I’ll be plucked says:

          Fair enough Pie. I was reacting (over-reacting) to Oldies words ‘I was led to believe…’.

          • Old Tradesman says:

            Dear Plucker, how is this one if you believe me, The Mullet together with Boohoo Doyle have gone up to the independent candidates and accused them of colluding against the Labor mayor as they were handing out Sam Cox how to vote cards, a friend of mine an old souths rugby league forward told her that she was not his mayor, her reply was that her relatives had fought in the war, whatever that has to do with local government elections nobody knows. This type of bullying is high in her Maltese blood, now we know why there are no cranes in our fair city. I think the chosen one is getting very worried.

  50. Critical says:

    WTF, while voting saw two council staff in uniform in queue waiting to vote. While walking out of building, saw a person get out of a council marked car, collect how to vote cards and go inside building. As a ratepayer, I’m disgusted that our rates are being used to let council staff vote in work time and use a council vehicle to go to vote.

    • The Magpie says:

      Oh, c’mon.

    • Fishframe says:

      Lunch breaks ok?

    • Council worker says:

      Thanks for the pep talk on how we apparently cant do normal things that dont take up much work time, like using our democratic right to vote. Would it make you happy I didn’t vote for jenny hill or her useless brainwashed clowns? Wpuld you rather i turned up next weekend with the masses to maybe contract covid 19? As opposed to what alot of agencies are saying, please try vote early to avoid contact with crowds. Or better yet run tbe risk as i did today to catch the virus sending me home for 14 days having a forced holiday on your rates? Did you happen to see the police officer next to me? In uniform or was thete to many council workers blocking your veiw? Shouldn’t the copper be put catching criminals? I hope you are happy slagging me off. Just so you know im entitled to a lunch break and in that lunch break if i decide to do personal things it comes off my lunch time. NOT COUNCIL!!!! Be careful who you crit mate because i could be the one fixing your broken sewage one day, you know the one that our mayor has let run down. I bet you voted for palmer? Get a fucken life. ( non union member )

      • I’ll be plucked says:

        Fair enough Council worker, except the part about not fixing a sewerage pipe. That is just NOT ON old mate!

      • Fishframe says:

        Just try and keep the toilet breaks to a minimum due to toilet paper shortages. Morning / Afternoon Tea and Lunch breaks fine. Thank you for your council service.

    • Achilles says:

      So the Mayor claims her relatives fought in the war, yeh but on which side? Napoleon/Wellington or Adolf/Allies.

  51. Night Watchperson says:

    I wonder if all the people working at woodman court pre polling, in particular handing out how to vote cards, will be tested for the virus and would be honest enough not to attend if they are awaiting results from coronavirus testing to ensure that they dont pass it on to the thousands of people that go through the place and to protect themselves

    • City dweller says:

      Well jenny hills team are in trouble then because shes flooding the place with people. If anything they are the ones to be tested first for bringing it in. I voted yesterday and i couldn’t see many people taking her cards.

    • Fishframe says:

      The problem is that they might not know they have it – carrier, but no symptoms.

  52. Cockhead says:

    Re the local govt elections. I wonder if in the future we may be able to vote in one of two ways? Either via the mail, or through ringing in to vote. Both can be used now and obviously avoid the need to go anywhere near a polling booth to pre-poll, or vote on the designated day.

    The electoral commission outfit already have our address as we need this to enrol, so why can’t we all postal ballot? If folks are away from their home address they can go online and update this for whatever election is happening. With the phone it is a simple process now to call in and vote in this way – this could be further refined.

    Both of these are preferable to a computer driven process/electronic online voting, as not all people have IT access, but maybe a blend of all three is possible in the future and we could choose how to vote?

    In this day and age we should not have to turn up to a polling place to lodge a vote in any election and/or referendum.

    • The Magpie says:

      Our thoughts are with you for the massive sacrifices you make to live in a democracy. You are your name.

      • George Gently says:

        Jeeze Pie, that’s a bit tough mate. The suggestions aren’t that bad. Have I missed something from the Willy poster? I read it a few times.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Better yet just get rid of compulsory voting, then the rest becomes irrelevant.

      • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

        Insane idea. Compulsory voting is one of the greatest features of Australian democracy.

        • The Magpie says:

          We don’t always agree, Steve, but we are as one on this. Check out what happens without it simply by looking at the rorts in the USA.

        • Cantankerous but happy says:

          Horse shit, what is insane is making it compulsory for some disengaged dick head to stand in a line, go through the whole process and waste peoples time to just draw a dick and balls on the ballot paper and stick in a ballot box, just so he doesn’t get fined, WTF is the point of that. I used to think compulsory voting was a worthwhile thing but after spending many years on booths and as a scrutineer I changed my mind. When you conduct exit poles and 10 or 15% of the people can’t even tell you who they voted for, they just stuck a number on the paper, stuck it in a box and walked out, what could possibly be the value of that.

          • The Magpie says:

            Price of democracy in Australia is getting everyone off their arse to vote. And not a large, or even influential, percentage behave like that.Agin ya there, mate.

          • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

            You could equally disparage the votes of the so-called “engaged” factional extremes who’d turn out to vote for a yellow dog if it was from their own party! As ‘Pie said, look at the United States.

            By forcing politicians to appeal to a true majority of the population (preferential voting is another factor) you prevent government from being captured by an ideological rump to some extent.

          • Cantankerous but happy says:

            You just shit on your own argument Steve, process v results, compulsory voting is a process, not an outcome. Whether it’s 90, 80 or 70% of people vote , the outcome is the same, because the percentage doesn’t change within a defined variable, of only a couple of percent, so the variable doesn’t change, regardless of how many people vote. Whether 1000 people, 10,000 or 100,000 people vote, the result will still be the same.

    • Cockhead says:

      You have wounded me Magpie, but I will recover. Thanks for the swooping attack and re-affirming the relevance of my name.

  53. Hi Beam says:

    Who is this mystery man Stephen Duffie. Even facebook has nothing except a smiling face. Is he the concreter all dressed up or just a red herring to split the vote from Bed Soars and Hanson?

  54. Astonished says:

    Now now Council Worker. Take a deep breath and drive down to Queens Gardens and join your fellow council workers for one of their 90 minute morning teas.
    They descend on the road at the back of the gardens every workday from around 9.30am. One day I counted 16 sitting around chatting.
    Our rates at work!

    • Council worker says:

      Good for you champ, congratulations on your observations. Now you can ring council and complain. Whats that department got to do with me and my comments.

    • Fishframe says:

      It’s easy to criticise but I’m more about working productivly as opposed to the hours worked. When I’ve needed a council worker they have been great.

      • The Magpie says:

        Yup, and generally do a good job within their remit. Council staff, especially those who work outdoors, should not be the target of petty sniping.

        • Council worker says:

          Ok im finished work now. Is it ok if I can now be online? Just asking? Thanks magpie for allowing my rants. I apologise for the way i came out but i cant let these people have a go at all of us without knowing what they are talking about. I appreciate your comments about the petty snipping of outdoor workers. We dont paint ourselves in glory but theres so much that alot of people dont see that keeps the shit from flowing back up the pipes and clean water that we drink and bath in. Im not worried about backlash from the mayor at all about my comments. I hope shes gone. Pretty obvious what department im in but we are very lucky we arnt contracted out because the whingers ive seen on here have no idea how much more expensive it would be. With hill back in contracting is on the cards. More job losses. Allot hope sam gets in because real change is needed to get stuff back in order after we loat so many experience staff. While the smart arses here want to shoot off just think about what might happen to your water, sewage and your rubbish collection if Townsville gets hit by this virus. While all of you are in quarantine later look out your window at the garbage truck or water guys/girls risking the diseases everyday that nobody thinks twice about. Essential services arnt just emergency staff. I worry the fuck everyday that i take something far more worse home to my family. Ill stop comments now. Again appreciate your work and enjoy reading, just a shame sometimes the thoughts of others need to be checked. If you have criticism of anything ive said mate im open to listen. Im a big believer of if you open your mouth be prepared to have someone shut it. Thanks your friendly neighborhood waterman.

          • I’ll be plucked says:

            Well stated and said Water Dude! All the very best to you (I made sure I read it a few times, this time, as per your recent advice)! :)

          • pokkeme says:

            please know you and your workmates are awesome – I”m voting #anybutJenny

  55. The Gnome from Nome says:

    It is outrageous that the labor state government is rushing through legislation to postpone the local govt. elections. Thousands have already voted!! They are suggesting that a 4 month extension is required. Shame on the LNP for saying they will support it!!!

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      I agree. Short of a total national shut-down the local elections must proceed. Most schools have open sided shelter sheds, thanks to Rudd, and are akin to an outdoor area. Set the polling booths up in these shelter sheds, and manage the crowd.

    • Fishframe says:

      I think it’s a big chance the Elections will be postponed.

      • The Magpie says:

        Not sure about that, but interesting to guess who would benefit most from that, Hill or Cox.

        • City dweller says:

          One would think that hill would benifit from postponing the election, but since so many people have voted i then think sam. Hill has the money behind her to last a while. What rules would be in place for the inderpendents? Ive voted already does my vote get stored or do i have to go back? I think it would be labor, including hill, that would suffer a backlash big time because people arnt seeing the risk as they walk to the booth. Shutting down something like an election early would just inflame peoples alrewdy tence feelings. I really hope they dont.

  56. Mike Douglas says:

    Not wanting to be alarmist but Is the Queensland State Government misleading the community . Senior people working in our hospitals are saying they don’t have enough stock of testing kits of COVID -19 or even protective clothing for hospital + prison staff . Media professionals are saying our levels of Government are lacking a “ single source of truth “ . Based on the fact a number of friends isolated at home are having their on line food orders cancelled you can see why Coles are hiring 5,000 staff .

    • The Magpie says:

      Tom Hanks survived 4 years on an island as a castaway.
      He spent a year in an airport without being able to leave.
      He contracted AIDS in Philadelphia.
      He was in WW2 and rescued Private Ryan.
      He went to Vietnam and rescued Private Dan.
      He was on a ship kidnapped by Somali pirates.
      He survived the Apollo 13’s failed attempt to reach the moon.
      He landed a Boeing on the Hudson River.


  57. Rip van Winkle says:

    You out of bed yet Mr Townsville Magpie? I need some laughs.

    • The Magpie says:

      Just. My CCOC (current companion of choice) was up ahead of me, and is quite bad tempered about me having a bit of a sleep-in. She was none too gentle rousing me, and made her displeasure quite clear, growling with her lead in her mouth.

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        Sometimes I wake up grumpy, and sometimes I let her sleep.

        • The Magpie says:

          The ‘Pie will allow himself (and no one else) the liberty of an small oldie but goldie.

          Why weren’t the seven dwarfs rooting Snow White?
          Because they were all fuckin’ Dopey.

          • Sir Rabbitborough says:

            Dopey has an alibi this time, the KAP got him chained up in the nuclear bomb shelter and they only let him out to play the banjo

          • Fishframe says:

            The Pie woke up in a good mood today !

          • The Magpie says:

            Wha…??? Oh, ‘mood’. Thought for a moment you said ‘nude’.

            Pardon The ‘Pie now as he takes a time out for fond reverie.

  58. The Magpie says:

    And Hypocrite of the Month goes to … Jennifer Lorraine Hill, who has used the Goebbels strategy of ‘accuse your opponents of that which you yourself are guilty.’

    Greg Dowling’s promised $12million crime fighting package, has laughingly been described by Mayor Mullet as ‘plagiarism’.

    The Astonisher tells us: But the policy has been slammed at plagiarism by Mayor Jenny Hill, who earlier this month pitched a five-point community protection policy that included making young criminals will be made to spruce up council-owned parks or clean up graffiti.
    She said the council also had no police powers or authority under the Youth Justice Act, and it would be irresponsible to spend $12 million of ratepayers’ money on a problem that is the responsibility of higher levels of government.”

    The hypocrisy is astounding, coming from a woman who herself has adopted any number of Sam Cox’s policies a few days after he announced them.

    And also ludicrous coming from a woman who was willing to give an Indian billionaire crook $18.5 million of ratepayers money for an airstrip 400kms away which it was not her or local government’s responsibility to build (and not own or operate). And with no guarantee of a jobs outcome for Townsville.

    • The Magpie says:

      Hey, commenters, The ‘Pie has had to ditch quite a few comments that make (mostly unfunny) jests about Jenny Hill Maltese ancestry. Attributing her short comings to her background is a low form of dog whistling racism. Both ways … it is also grossly insulting to Maltese people to accuse them that this woman’s lying, shifty tactics, blunders and self-interest is an ingrained national trait. That has not been The ‘Pie’s experience over many years of interaction and friendships with the Maltese. The occasional gentle jibe, especially if it is actually amusing, has been let through, but as for the rest, try Facebook, folks.

      • Achilles says:

        Noted: The initials of her names are JL, if you say them it sounds like where she belongs.

      • Just say'n says:

        Wouldn’t it also irresponsible to claim credit for projects the Federal and State Governments funded, and The Mayor had nothing to do with except claim the glory?

        Anyone got a photo of the plaque at the stadium?

  59. Hi Beam says:

    Hi Beam March 19, 2020 at 6:38 am
    Who is this mystery man Stephen Duffie. Even facebook has nothing except a smiling face. Is he the concreter all dressed up or just a red herring to split the vote from Bed Soars and Hanson?

    It is now nearly 8 hours on and still no one knows or is prepared to tell me who he is. WHAT IS HIS DARK SECRET?

  60. The Magpie says:

    The ‘Pie always like to look on the bright side of any challenging events. Ever since Darth Dutton went to hospital, and Ivanka Trump went to her bedroom and slammed the door, The ‘Pie has been thinking of a regular comment thread.

    So here it is:
    It’s Called

    There’s Always An Upside – Covad-19’s Silver Lining
    You are all welcome to contribute, pix best, send to email hidden; JavaScript is required

    Here’s The ‘Pie’s initial offering.

    • Achilles says:

      There’s Always An Upside – Covad-19’s Silver Lining

      Grandchildren are spared the trauma of sloppy kisses and Granny’s bats wing embrace.

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        Traumatised as a child, were we, Achilles?

      • Kingswood says:

        There’s always an upside….climate change panic has disappeared for awhile!

        Played Bernie Cummins ‘Good times are coming’ (youtube it) on the stereo tonight. ‘No they’re not”!!! said my daughter, but in a minute she was dancing while reading her homework….worked in 1930 too…

    • Achilles says:

      Ivanka! sure you didn’t mean Melania?

    • The Magpie says:

      What doies a panic buyer do when the shelves are cleaned out, but crave more? Why, read the Bulletinn of course, always There For You.

      They really either don’t care or are drunk down there. Probably both.

    • The Magpie says:

      The poor old Ities are lucky in one way, Venice gets a corona clean-up. If only Townsville’s footpath would mend themselves and grass mow itself.

    • The Magpie says:

      And here’s cheers to someone who sees an opportunity in every challenge.
      A Magpie mate writes:
      My cleaner couldn’t find any face masks in the shops so has started making her own. They have 3 layers of cotton fabric and are reusable because you can wash them. Then you iron them, which kills any remaining germs. Brilliant.

      • The Magpie says:

        A good start would be not to read crap headlines that auto suggest that people are panicking … most aren’t. Talk about a self-fulfilling prophesy.

        When the dust settles and COVID is just a nasty memory, sections of the media are going to have a lot of explaining to do … like the arrogant pricks would deign to.

  61. Alahazbin says:

    “Once you had to cough to drown out a fart. Now you have to fart to drown out a cough.”
    Credit to the guy at Battery World for that little quote.

  62. Dave of Kelso says:

    No foreigners to Australia from tomorrow night. Good! Can we block the Bruce Highway just south of the Giru turn-off?

  63. George Gently says:

    Hmmm, Cockhead might have a point re the local govt elections Pie. We might have postal votes, or phone voting all round to finish it, if the State Govt go that way?

    • The Magpie says:

      Maybe, but one imagines in these are unprecedented times, what other choice would council have …. a nicety of a letter of the law interpretation – which may not be correct anyway – would cause mayhem throughout the city. Brisbane has announced it is doing the same type of measures and probably many other councils will follow. Just how much Mayor Hill has had to do with this is yet to be seen, it would seem more a directive from the Local Government Minister to council CEOs – but she’ll flog her real or imagined involvement for all it’s worth. And why wouldn’t she, anybody would?

      • Alahazbin says:

        I can understand Brisbane and even Cairns offering free parking in their CBD’s, but why Townsville? Their is nothing in there that would attract anybody go.

  64. Fishframe says:

    Watched the footy tonight. They played with no crowds and I didn’t think it would make a difference watching on tv. It did. It’s amazing how much the crowd atmosphere adds even on a TV set. The Cowboys won, which is fantastic, but I found it boring. Jason T had a big run and lost his pants in a tackle – no laughing, no cheers, no jeers. Just nothing except him pulling his pants up. Where’s the fun in that????

    • Treesy says:

      It would be very sad for the players. We were in Osaka, Japan, and watched the Sumo Wrestling finals being held on TV with no crowd. We felt very sad for them. I can imagine our footy players would be feeling the same.

      Found it interesting though, the Japanese are very respectful and there were still food items on their shelves and low and behold lots of toilet paper (however they have bidets as well).

      • The Magpie says:

        Fear not, sumo fans, The ‘Pie understands there will be a charity bout in Perth between Clive ‘The Panzer’ Palmer ‘Gina’ The Wrecker’ Rineheart. All proceeds to the Kids Cancer Foundation in the Cayman Islands.

  65. City dweller says:

    Drought proofing promise for the north by the mayor???? Is she going to dig a trench so when the dam overflows again it flows north this time? Another story with Mooney in picture, at least she has changed the dress. Also read in the article that tcc signed a memorandum of understanding with sun metals on this issue of recycled water. Is thst the same paper as the battery plant was printed on? Another “could” “should” “if maybe” story.

    • The Magpie says:

      The most deliberately misleading headline of the campaign so far (City Dweller no doubt was not the only one fooled by this insidious tomfoolery). In a nutshell, Mayor Mullet actually says she will extend the current recycled watering of parks in southern suburbs to northern SUBURBS. Which doesn’t seem to have a single nothing to with Mooney Jnr.

      But misleading in perhaps more ways than one … despite being too clever by half, is the headline a subtle way for the Astonisher to have a dig at Mayor Mullet, which it has shown to be willing to do in past weeks? Sort of make her look like a grandstanding fool (well ….)?

      If not, then its another kick in the cods for the paper’s credibility, which bis likely to sink to new lows in the coming week after the new iditor’s Kaffeeklatsch meeting with ‘His Former Radiance’ Mooney Snr this morning.

      • Jatzcrackers says:

        Apparently in that Astonisher photo shoot to accompany Mullet’s article with Mooney Jr, the photographer asked her to take her best body building pose and look vaguely into the distance ! Appears she got it right in the first take !

        • The Magpie says:

          Actually she initially refused saying it would be undignified, but when the photographer said it was woirth a few takes, she agreed … she thought he’d said cakes.

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        Righto; kaffeeklatch = coffee + gossip.

        Do you really think it was gosip?

        I suspect His Former Radience was instructing the Iditor how he will conduct himself and his work while in Townsville.

        Kaffee die Anwelsung ertallen!

      • Guy says:

        I’m just glad something is being done to recycle all that water that normally gets flushed out to sea. If it means that recycled water is just used to water grass , fine. If that recycled water can be SOLD to Sunmetals, even better.

        What’s the stance of council candidates with regards to recycled water ? ( considering we live in the DRY tropics)

        if they had spent a fraction of the money they spent on ” The pipeline ” on recycled water facilities Townsville wouldn’t have supply problems.

        • Guy says:

          Industry loves cheap water and cheap power

          If Townsville had cheap water and power industry would naturally gravitate here. That is the dying remnants of industry , every year sees a diminishing pool of real employment.

        • Kenny Kennett says:

          But Guy you lefty sympathiser, ask your Leader Mullet. Last election she said we don’t have a water problem; this election she’s trying to find solutions to our water problem. Your subliminal digs at anybody but the Labor brigade are getting so pathetic. Get back to the pre poll and hand out your lefty how to vote flyers.

  66. Gotcha says:

    Today’s Bulletin has 2 articles promoting Jenny Hill with one including a basic endorsement of Liam Mooney. At 8.30 am this morning (Friday) the new Editor and Tony Mooney (Liams dad and ALP heavy) were spotted having coffee together at the Grand Central Cafe in Flinders Street West. WTF

    • Take Cover says:

      Mooney is probably pleading please don’t expose the truth. As he tries to cover up some failings at the Royal St Townsville University Home of Jobs for My Mates and Political Promises without Accountability Hospital, or at least I think that its new name today.

      • The Magpie says:

        He’s good at cover-ups, so good in fact, The ‘Pie reckons if he had to, he could cover up drunken hit and run injuring an indigenous youth in 1989, If he had to.

      • The Stasi says:

        What?!! Two people meeting in a public place you say, Take Cover? We’re onto it.

    • George Gently says:

      Hey Gotcha, were they practicing social distancing? If not report them!

      Can you please tell us what is is you are saying and/or suggesting? Much appreciated. GG

    • Celine Schreiner (aka Fishframe says:

      My mum reckons Liam Mooney is a good boy like his father.

  67. One legged tap dancer says:

    That Mooney hit and run in 1989 reminds me of another collision involving a mayor this year.
    In both cases the police seemed reluctant to investigate.
    Funny that.

    • Alahazbin says:

      His Radiance had more than one mishap with that Holden Statesman.

      • The Magpie says:

        So others have been telling but not for publication. rear ended one woman, full as a doctors wallet, and paid over the odds for repairs and not be reported to police.

        • Cantankerous but happy says:

          Things have changed then for poor old Tony, I drive past his house regularly and a crappy SUV sits in the driveway that I also see him in it at the precinct, maybe he is just trying to look like a good Labor person should, and a Maserati Gran Turismo sits idle in the garage.

          • The Magpie says:

            By all the reports about his driving over the years, One imagines the SUV would have bull bar?

    • Sam1 says:

      Perhaps you could elaborate on how the Police appear to be reluctant to investigate Hill’s crash.

      • Achilles says:

        Rocket man, I doubt that the police are “reluctant” to investigate. I’m sure the investigation has taken place. The poignant question is who or why is withholding the preliminary report at least?

      • One legged tap dancer says:

        Sami, only 2 people can answer that question – the new local police chief and his boss the Premier.

  68. The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

    I see TRRA has let rip at Russ Cook for parking his campaign vehicle and trailer in the Cathrdral School.

    Regardless of the right or wrong, it’s not a smart place to park it.

  69. Strand Ghost says:

    Hi Magpie
    My wife was at pre polling today talking to a another lady outside of the main door when Mayor Bulldog Hill walked up to a candidate for division one and abused him for not standing 1.5m from the centre line, this woman is a complete pig the way she talks to people, wtf has it got to do with her to abuse people, I didn’t know she worked for the electoral commission too. This is the second time she has done this at pre polling this week , I suppose that what pressure does to you when your getting a hard time from voters who are turning on her in droves.

    • The Robbers Dog says:

      Ok Ghost, it’s the Maltese terrier coming out through her. They are all bark and no bite and try to be the centre of attention.

      We regularly come across the lilly livered midgets and eat them for breakfast.

  70. You Stink says:

    You seem very popular this week Mr Magpie, any particular reason in your opinion?

    Maybe you don’t stink after all (well maybe not too much anyway).

  71. Mildly Miffed, Jan says:

    I was just wanting to know why the media hasn’t paid any attention to Adani not really employing local or regional people. Especially now that they are sponsoring the Cowboys and banging on about being part of our team. As an ex-employee it’s a joke as so many of the ‘regional’ office employees and contractors travel from Brisbane, Sydney and Adelaide each week.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Was always going to be the case, Townsville just isn’t a nice place to live anymore, many have left town and others simply refuse to move here, and if a business wants good people with certain skills then they don’t care where the come from, or how they get here. Many businesses do the same thing, not just Adani, workers fly in Sunday night or Monday morning, home Friday arvo, it’s more common than people think.

  72. The Magpie says:

    The Astonisher reports online that the brouhaha was on a Jetstar flight, but picture it the story on Facebook with a Virgin plane…..typical sloppy ‘near enough is good enough’ effort by the Astonisher. I’m sure Virgin would be happy to have their corporate image associated with an incident that had nothing to do with them.

  73. The Stasi says:

    We were patrolling around the city this morning looking for a Mooney and a paper editor, nowhere to be seen today.

    Whilst in Palmer St we went past a place called Jam Corner. It was jammed and people were sitting outside at tables, in very close proximity to each other. We will let out handlers know and take their advice from there.

    • Take Cover says:

      Wow Stati you’re just a bit too sensitive for a casual observer who didn’t know what I was talking about.

      Looks like there are crack appearing in your totalitarianism regime.

    • Alahazbin says:

      Not feeling well eh? Time to self isolate.

  74. Strand Ghost says:

    Hi Magpie
    Well that will do me, the mullet at pre-polling today barking orders at people while wearing the infamous ‘Pink Doona’ AND…wait for it…with No Shoes on!!! I nearly choked on my coffee, what a bad look! (Clearly she is taking personal hygiene seriously)
    The mullets minions were also there super early and set up a flurry of tents and corflutes. Consequently the Electoral Commission made them pull them all down and said they couldn’t have any persons in the vicinity at all to hand out flyers or talk to anybody. Needless to say major mullet was unimpressed she isn’t running the show.

    Apologies Magpie, I forgot to mention that the shoeless mullet must have left her glass slippers in the car ? How embarrassing! PS. Happy to provide the pictures

    • The Magpie says:

      Got this one from a mate … got any other angles. The Mullet’s military reserve background is showing, looking like a drill major about to bawl out an unruly recruit.

      • I’ll be plucked says:

        That’s gold Pie – how’s the stance!??? What a fool! Had a breakdown maybe?

      • Lord Howard Hertz says:

        Actually looks like she’s whistling to her sheep dog , keeping the lines in order. The dog’s had plenty of practice, used in the last four years to keep councillors herded.

        • Council worker says:

          I know i said I wouldn’t post again but this is an exception. Not worried about my job now that the virus is heading this way eventually. She gets back in shes got fuck all chance of sacking any of us because we are neede as essential services. This, Townsville, is what you have to represent you. The barefoot look os just the start. This is the sort of attitude that we’ve had in council since the sunday after last election. No fucks are given unless its to advance themselves. When you and chiodo read this mayor just know if you get back in your still a nobody and your next 4yrs will be filled with court cases. Im out.

      • Kenny Kennett says:

        Looks like she’s saying: “why aren’t any of you looking at me? I’m wearing my best outfit!!”

        • Achilles says:

          Its probably because her unkempt appearance bares (no please no) no resemblance to the person pictured on her posters

      • Celine Schreiner (aka Fishframe says:

        Who stole my mums shoes? Was it Sam? Please own up whoever it was.

  75. I’ll be plucked says:

    Vale Kenny Rogers, he’s folded them and left planet earth. A great loss!

  76. Plane talking says:

    “12th March QF1786 Brisbane to Townsville- close contact rows-further information pending”

    “If you have been on the relevant flights and rows listed, please contact 13 HEALTH immediately if you have not already been given instructions from a public health officer.

    The only people who need to self-quarantine for 14 days are those who are in the identified rows of the flights listed.”

  77. Fishframe says:

    New Government stimulus business measures released last night including accessing $10,000 x 2 (this financial year and next financial year), cash payments and unsecured loans. In nearly 40 years of Banking I’ve r seen anything like this. Wow, just wow.

    • The Magpie says:

      Well, in 74 years, The ‘Pie has never seen anything like the corona virus, the biggest global scourge since that Billy Ray Cyrus gave global galloping cardiac dysrhythmia with Achy Breaky Heart. ‘Ow, just ‘ow.

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