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The Magpie

Sunday, February 7th, 2021   |   243 comments


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After this tragedy, all you can say is announcements are coming? COMING? They should’ve been here months ago, you’re more than a day late and a dollar short, Premier, you have blood on your hands.

This innocent young woman dead, killed by frustrated vigilante action, all because you have refused to acknowledge the deep lawless turmoil in this community – it is squarely on your head, Anna Palaszczuk.

The question has often been asked by distant apologists whether these children know right from wrong, but by now, the real question is, do you, Premier?

anna palaszczukGettyImages-1214615225

Hang your head in shame, madam. If you ask why, you should resign immediately. Because, given the latest police information, the frustration you have caused by your political inertia, dodging and weaving, you are now responsible for the our first death of an innocent caused by vigilant action. Probably the first in Queensland. A proud legacy for you, Ms Palaszczuk.

Here’s why, from what we know from the police so far.

When Trying To Do Right Is So Wrong

On Friday night, two men and a woman were driving in Holden Statesman in Kirwan when they encountered what subsequently proved to be a stolen car being driven dangerously on Ross River Road. The 25-year-old Bushland Beach driver decided to chase the stolen Hyundai, and when the two vehicles reached the intersection of Ross River Road and Ridley Road, the Statesman, whether intentionally or otherwise, rammed into the back of the Hyundai, the impact sending the Holden careering onto the wrong side of the road. The 22-year-old motorcyclist Jennifer Board, who had been travelling on the opposite side of the road, was hit and killed by the out-of-control car. The Hyundai sped off and was later found torched in Garbutt.


The occupants of the Holden were taken to hospital with minor injuries. After police interviewed them, a senior officer made a pointed warning against vigilante action. No charges or arrests have been made or laid at the time publication, but if the police information is correct, we have now got our first death – and of an innocent person – caused by vigilante action.

How long do we have to wait for you to show some leadership and compassion for this city? DO HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL 26 OCTOBER, 2024? If that be the case, you will have blood on your hands again, and will be held responsible for the inevitable and frustrated rise of vigilantism across the city, and all its attendant dangers and likely deaths that brings. You hold the power to change laws and assign appropriate force for a real solution with both courts and cops. Your inaction, your politically driven refusal to acknowledge that Townsville’s lawless youth is a unique case that demands immediate and unprecedented attention, is at the root of all this. It is at the point that it even merits a special Act of Parliament, and why not, if you can do it for a casino, why can’t you can do it for killers in our community? Your failure to act will undeniably sheet home to you whatever fatal mayhem is allowed to occur.

And a clarion call for our three Mouseketeers, our three hapless, gotmless labor MPs,  … here you have an opportunity to start to redeem yourselves from your disgraceful political cowardice. You suddenly have a power and a reason to use it … that power is that of a bloc … if the three of you could put aside your fondness for petit fours, tinkling champagne receptions, a fat pay slip and party backslapping, and instead, threaten to resign from parliament as a group unless REAL ACTION is urgently taken on this matter. Going to the back benches would be empty, meaningless and cynical … no, if you threaten to resign wholly from parliament, cut down Palaszczuk’s majority AND cause three by-elections, boys, you’ll be able to keep some semblance of dignity. Keeping your alarmingly expanding arses on the lucrative plush of George Street is a very f and maybe as of now anyway.  But this action would take real courage, spine, integrity and caring about your city.

So I guess that answers that.

More on this issue in a moment, but other matters The ‘Pie will broach this week …

Why Jenny has the jitters … and has already tried to bully and intimidate new councillor Fran O’Callaghan even before she gets to Walker Street. One way or the other, a whole new world awaits our mayor.

There are two ways to control these lawless little indigenous immigrants from outlying communities running through our city … one solution will be oh-so-culturally appropriate, the other is a Magpie suggestion for our lawmakers which he believes is a win-win situation.\

And in the USA, the arsesole is gone, but the shit lingers on … our regular gallery tells the story.

A Possible Mayoral Response To Kiddy Crime

The Magpie wonders if Jenny Hill saw this story out of Canberra this week, which featured in blog comments.

The Wulguru Wonder
6,033 approved
Submitted on 2021/02/03 at 12:30 am

You might remember Skywhale, the hot air balloon monstrosity which taxpayers forked out more than $300,000 for in 2013 to commemorate the centenary of the founding of Canberra.

Skywhnale SXkywhale IMG_1686

Well the National Gallery have just revealed Skywhalepapa, her new companion, which will hit the skies over the national capital this weekend filled full of Canberra hot air.

Bearing in mind that Skywhalepapa is more than one third bigger than the original Sky Whale, you can bet that her new significant other comes at a significantly higher price tag than her $300,000.

Just how much higher? According to Nick Mitzevich, director of the NGA, the total project cost for Skywhalepapa is $1.3 million. “For me, it’s an investment in the creativity of Australians, an important part of how we define ourselves and who we are, and how we thoughtfully think about the world around us” Mitzevich says. “It’s amazing to see him take his form,” he says giddily. “He defies logic. Defies realism.”

I’m sure that the average Aussie taxpayer will agree that a price tag of $1.3 million certainly defies logic and reality.

Skywhalepapa on the left, original Skywhale on the right.

This is just the sort of stunt our mayor wishes she had thought of, especially if she could promote a local adaptation as a crime fighting community service. God knows, there’s no shortage of hot air to support the idea around here. Bentley reckons Mayor Mullet just might use a suitably localised balloon idea as an-eye-in-the-sky to scare the bejesus out of the car stealing little grubs.

Balooneys FIN SMALL

The lolling-lipped dribblers shivering their Nike runners at just the thought, no doubt.

But Let’s Keep The Solution Cultural

When it comes to these little Neanderthals running amok in Townsville, perhaps gab-festing with completely ineffective and dejected elder ‘aunties’ and ‘uncles’, we go back to the ways that so many in the aboriginal industry grieve for.

Let’s call in the Kadaitcha man – the fabled ‘Featherfoot’ of aboriginal lore, so called because this cultural assassin for hire is wears moccasins woven of feathers, human hair and treated with blood, to disguise any trace that he had visited. The idea was that if a member of one tribe transgressed, and it was decided punishment of death was merited, it could not be carried out by anyone from that same tribe (although ‘bellydown’ thrashings were, which also seem like a good idea in the current circumstances). So a shaman Kadaitcha man from a neighbouring tribe was called upon to secretly visit the erring member of the tribe and administer the punishment.

Of course, immediately, there is a problem here, apart from the bleeding hearts that don’t give a fig about the human laws of cause and effect. Because these lawless youths in Townsville are largely, we are told, ‘immigrants’ from other areas outside Townsville, children whose parents and family have been expelled from their native communities for their transgressions. So it seems finding a suitable ‘featherfoot’ would be a difficult call, which is a shame … with a bit of modern crowd-funding inducement, the Kadaitcha man may be persuaded to point the bone at our local state MPs.

But Here Is A Very Practical Suggestion For Lawmakers

There are plenty of programs in both juvenile and adult prisons to allow inmates to gain a craft, trade or even a profession while inside. But here’s a twist that woukld surely work for juveniles who are deemed to be suitable candidates. They could choose a unique sentence … they sign up to learn a craft or trade while in detention, which they can do to a limited degree now – but here’s the kicker:  their sentence not named in months or years, but in achievement – they are released only when they have become qualified enough to given a genuine ‘ticket’,  They cannot leave until this ‘contract’ is achieved, and government programs supporting employers would require successful trainees to work for a period of time before parole conditions were lifted. Support programs for returning to the community as a wage-earning worker would also be there to assist the transition.

Bottom line: why steal a car when you can own one, why burgle a house when you can buy whatever you want? Why hang out with disaffected other people, when you no longer have anything in common with them?

This sort of enforced TAFE (certainly not restricted to race) beats the shit of the simmering resentment of bush or boot camps, which patently do not work for urban aboriginal youth.

That’s The ‘Pie’s contribution to this debate. Never happen, like many things on this blog, at least it has been said publicly.

Speaking Of Things Said In This Blog ….

As suggested in the blog many months ago – last July, in fact – it seems there now will be food trucks on Castle Hill. After the council mysteriously could not find a suitable suitor to create a $2million café on The Hill (they’ve got to be kidding, but in usual council style, we were never told how this literally unbelievable decision was reached), we now learn that there are couple of shade shelters, some lawn and some railings that have cost the ratepayer and taxpayer about $1.9million EACH .. circa $3mill in other words.

And no it doesn’t, but this story …

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…gives the lie to our Hermit Kingdom council, when we read:

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So in early 2020, a TCC survey (which quite frankly, The ‘Pie does not believe for a minute) found the idea ‘proved a hit with residents’ but four or five months later, the mayor was big-noting a $2million café, which eventually, nameless TCC bureaucrats (not Jenny, mind, oh, dearie me no) wasn’t possible. we were never told why.

But of a sudden, in the council world where things tend to move in geological time, we have instead a patch of grass, shade covers, steps and railings, where the café was meant to go. All for a measly 3 mill, half of which came from federal member for Herbert, Phillip Thompson. One assumes he was too busy in Canberra for the happy snaps, so Clr Kurt Rehbein generously stepped in (whatever he actually had to do with it).  But that’s by the by, and there is something distinctly fishy about this whole matter. And it remains to be seen if this is best outcome … it’s not a bad outcome, but is it the best achievable?

But Our Gal Is A Worried Chook .. That’s Why Mayor Mullet Pulls Out The Mallet

Jenny Hill’s representations to her political mates in Brisbane has been less than pathetic. And she’s starting to realise that her modus operandi has become a joke around town. Her clod-hopping ploy of wheeling out one of her glove puppet councillors when the news isn’t good (dunce-in-waiting frothy Molachino is her popular choice for genteel shafting) but she is always bouncing into the viewfinder for any happy snap that will put her in a good light.

Now, while she may have worries that her court matters of careless driving causing death is proving tricky to get the fix in (early days, early days), she at last seems to realise that the crime tsunami of juvenile shit is about to soil her Best & Less frocks as well the cravats of party colleagues, the already putrid local members, Harper, Walker and Stewart.

So perhaps that is why we heard her sinister and unnecessary welcome to new councillor Fran O’Callaghan.

Frequent flyer
152 approved
email hidden; JavaScript is required
Submitted on 2021/02/04 at 6:42 am

Jenny Hill has warned Fran ‘Can’ that she will have to go through a rigorous induction process.
Wonder if any of her flock of sheep councillors went through such a process, and is the process designed to turn Fran Can into a Fran Can’t, like what happened to Sue Blom?

The Magpie
6,035 approved
email hidden; JavaScript is required
Submitted on 2021/02/04 at 9:56 am | In reply to Frequent flyer.

When you’re up against an entrenched entity like Jenny Hill and her puppets, patience and judgement are required for the long game, so don’t be too hard on Blom. And as for FO’C, that is a veiled warning from Hill that one word, one foot, one scoff out of place and she will bring down the wrath of the ultra- politically correct LG Behaviour of Councillors regulation on her head. FO’C is known to call a spade a bloody shovel and Hill will be counting on procedural admonishment to cow her. And from what The ‘Pie has heard, good luck with that Mullet.

Two things should spring out at The Mullet in this situation. 1. Now there are two non-puppets on the council, FO’C or Blom can move a motion and the other can second it, leading to a no doubt strained discussion of whatever topic is broached. Before, it would’ve hit the chamber deck faster than Les Walker,  and like Walker, for want of a second.

2. The other thing Madam Mullet must be aware of of, is that Fran O’Callaghan is something she has never been … she was and is a successful and savvy businesswoman, running her own apparently quite successful enterprise, and is unlikely to take kindly to the fiscal ignorance of the mayor or her bought CEO.

Worried about Google Leaving Aussies Out In The Cold?

Not to worry, there’s a ready-made, partially operating alternative ready to fill the search engine accurate information gap.

Rupert google alt Screen Shot 2021-01-29 at 2.23.02 pm

… and that sets the scene to ….

Let Us Speak Of Word Pirates And Bandwagon Buccaneers

Nowadays, word definitions are regularly distorted, twisted, pummelled and massaged until they sometimes mean almost the very opposite of the original meaning. ‘Sick’ is an example … in that demi-monde of youthful ‘tomorrow-belongs-to-me-ism’ , ‘sick’ now means ‘excellent, the best’. Which old farts like The ‘Pie think is kinda sick in the correct sense.

And so it is with ‘woke’, which has now morphed into the virtual signallers word weapon of choice.

As with so many words and phrases, the ungrammatical ‘woke’ developed from frustrated, uneducated black street argot in the USA, a perversion of  ‘be awake to‘ … in other words have a heightened awareness of police brutality and the associated injustices. In the original coinage, this applied only to police brutality of blacks in America. It was a timely, catchy and emotional war cry against the open racism that police throughout America have shown towards the black population. ‘Killing on suspicion’ it has been called, and ‘woke’ calls for awareness of it.

But it didn’t take long for the bandwagon buccaneers of language to sail into the thick of it and hijack a very focussed usage.

In Australia, we have always eagerly allowed ourselves to be subjugated by American cultural imperialism, so it was a nanosecond before angry indigenous groups here adopted ‘woke’ to shine a spotlight on the disgraceful record of indigenous deaths-in-custody. This was a unreasonable secondment of a specifically focussed slogan, created half a world away for emphasis one of the great public shames of America.. And adopting Black Lives Matter here is a slur on the vast majority of Australians who have gone out of their way to demonstrate goodwill, empathy and outrage, because they KNOW black lives matter … the BLM slogan in Australia is a blanket accusation of indifference, the one thing the majority of us shouldn’t be accused of.

The Australian deaths-in-custody shame is on a different level, and is not always honestly reflected by activists

In the 28 years (to 2019) since the Royal Commission into Aboriginal Deaths In Custody, 455 of the 1085 DIC have been indigenous people. But what is pushed into the background as damaging to the promoted narrative is that 295 of these deaths were in prison. When people go to prison, some die there, but it does not follow that it was a result of mistreatment. That they shouldn’t be there in the first place is no argument (at least a very different one) and is a red herring in the placard waving argument. Making two sets of laws in this country, as tacitly demanded by indigenous groups, is the very definition of racism. (Note the Townsville magistrate 15 or so years ago who refused to convict an aboriginal vagrant for calling a policeman a ‘fucking white cunt’’ because it was it was part of ‘indigenous cultural use of language’. Of course, it was made clear that the reverse did not apply. That suddenly had us standing on the top of a slippery slope where we teeter still, but have so far managed to not tumble down.)

But if local indigenous activists had some excuse to play parrot, they were unable to stop the inevitable wider appropriation of the term ‘woke’ by all manner of virtue signallers who wished to parade their higher self-perceived higher sensitivities to a whole spectrum of fashionable poses.

Recently The Magpie received an email from a friend whom he both admires and likes, who chided him after he decried the Cricket Australia action in refusing to use Australia Day in its game promotions for January 26, as being ‘woke’.

Hey Pie,
‘Woke’ is the Daily Tele and Sky news’ go-to to denigrate non-racists.
It’s being awake to and aware of racism.
Don’t be like them.

The ‘Pie was dismayed to misunderstood in this way and so replied:

Oh, dear me, no way. Language moves on rapidly these days. That’s how woke started out, but like so many phrases and issues, it’s been hijacked by other interests and means much more unrelated and destructive things. “Woke’ has now morphed into a extreme political correctness that brooks no argument. Ironically, nowadays, despite their uninformed blather, both the Tele and Sky are in some circles themselves described as woke in the newest usage of the word.

But I maintain Cricket Australia has no business taking its Oz Day action.

here are relevant instances from Wiki: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woke

In May 2019, Brendan O’Neill, editor of Spiked, described individuals who promote woke politics as people who tend to be identitarian, censorious and puritanical in their thinking or a “culture warrior who cannot abide by the fact there are people in the world who disagree with him or her.” He also claimed woke politics to be a “more vicious form of political correctness.”[36]

And then this:

In October 2019, former United States President Barack Obama expressed comments that critiqued woke culture, stating: “This idea of purity and you’re never compromised and you’re politically woke, and all that stuff – you should get over that quickly. The world is messy. There are ambiguities. People who do really good stuff have flaws.”[37][38]

Remember, Barry O was and is perceived as a left-wing devil incarnate to many who would cancel him if they could, and would see him of a black champion of what they think of as ‘woke’.

In October 2019, Australian singer, author and composer Nick Cave penned a critique of woke culture in which he described himself as “repelled” by its beliefs and tactics. He argued:

‘that while woke had “virtuous intentions,” it also “finds its energy in self-righteous belief and the suppression of contrary systems of thought” and wokeness, “for all its virtues, is an ideology immune to the slightest suggestion that in a generation’s time their implacable beliefs will appear as outmoded and fallacious as those of their own generation.”[39]

Even Trump’s arch enemy and champion of BLM, the New York Times recognises that the term has been perverted. In June 2018, in a New York Times piece, political commentator David Brooks – perceived in America as a big leftie – argued that the goal of wokeness isn’t to solve the issues woke people are concerned about, but to maximize perceived injustices:[33]

There is no measure or moderation to wokeness. It’s always good to be more woke. It’s always good to see injustice in maximalist terms. To point to any mitigating factors in the environment is to be naïve, childish, a co-opted part of the status quo. […] The problem with wokeness is that it doesn’t inspire action; it freezes it. To be woke is first and foremost to put yourself on display. To make a problem seem massively intractable is to inspire separation — building a wall between you and the problem — not a solution.

— David Brooks, The Problem with Wokeness, The New York Times.

Sounds to me like a very accurate description of SKY nitwits and the Daily Telegraph.

 So, old mate, call me Lewis Carroll, who had Humpty Dumpty  in Through The Looking Glass say so presciently :

“When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, ‘it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.’

 ’The question is,’ said Alice, ‘whether you can make words mean so many different things.’

 ’The question is,’ said Humpty Dumpty, ‘which is to be master — that’s all.”


It is the philosophy so comprehensively braced by the treasonous Mobster Ex-President Donald J Trump and his developmentally delayed followers -p both in America and here..

There Was One More Rattle In Donny’s Pram, And He Tossed It Out Hilariously This Week.

Fair dinkum, he’s the git that keeps on giving, ain’t he? Trump went into a right old nappy-soiling tizzy when he learnt that the Screen Actors Guild of America , to which he so deservedly belonged, was thinking of turfing him out because of his treasonous mob incitement. He decided to get in first. Note how he signs the letter.

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But his second impeachment, now with the Senate and to be decided this week, is the main topic occupying the US chatterati. Trump is swapping and changing his legal defence team – some resigned before he could fire them – while Republicans are arguing that Trump cannot be impeached as he’s no longer in office. Despite the fact that his clear and unequivocal call to insurrection took place while he was still president. As summed up in the New Yorker.

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And Finally, Even The Admirable Snopes Debunkers Can Get It Wrong.

The Snopes outfit, which keeps track of what’s what and what isn’t, debunking fake news by calm and careful research, has the occasional hiccup, although wouldn’t be the best place for that. It was asked if it was true that Australia had such a thing as a poo diver.

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Snopes is only half right. The crappiest job belongs to the bloke on whose shoulders Brendon is standing for the photograph. But it isn’t as bad as all that … the pic wasn’t taken in a ‘poo pool’ as claimed, it was taken in the Yarra River … on a good day.


An appropriate shitty note on which to end a sad shitty week. Have your say about all and any matters in blog comments, they run 24/7, and are specifically there for you to have your say. And if you are convinced of Mr Frydenberg’s cheery economic outlook, you might be of a mind to drop a donation into the Nest, the appropriate mechanism (as we call that big green button) is below.  (Hmmm, perhaps that’s not the best way to solicit much need financial help … oh, well, up to you.)

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. A Citizen says:

    I am calling for the resignations of Palaszczuk, Walker, Harper and Stewart.

    • The Magpie says:

      Only problem with that is we get A Little Boy Called Smiley. Parliament needs to be dissolved and a fresh election called.

  2. Frequent flyer says:

    Speaking of wasting taxpayers money, have you seen the latest marketing campaign from Townsville Enterprise?
    Suggest you sit down before you read this: “Find your shine in Townsville”.
    Now before you go suggesting that this pathetic campaign is a result of Little Pattie O’Çallaghan moving to the Gold Coast, there is no way her understrappers could have come up with a new campaign in the time since she left Townsville.
    This clearly is her parting gift to we, the long suffering ratepayers. Perhaps a get square but probably the best she could come up with.
    Wonder if the Gold Coast realise what they’ve got themselves into.

  3. The Novichok Kid says:

    “When you lose everything and you have nothing left to lose, you lose it’. This shitstorm has been brewing for years. Uncontrollable little pricks and prickettes born into families who through several generations of breeding have produced only more Centrelink dependant alcohol and drug addicted children. The parents are drunk or stoned and do not give a shit what the kids are doing. In turn, these kids don’t give a shit about what they do and what the consequences are.

    Local and State Government elected members are impotent and gutless. The Police have had a gut-full as well because their hands are tied and they are not empowered to do SFA. The pathetic Judges who are disconnected from reality (anyone who wears a fucking wig and expects you to stand for them in 2021 is ‘disconnected from the real world’) are pissweak and easily played. Their real interest in life is sitting on leather couches in mahogany lined rooms while smoking cigars and boasting about their (lack of) dick size.

    You reckon it’s bad now? Let me tell you this – the financial fallout from closing down States, towns and cities is going to create a flow down financial disaster that nobody is expecting. You think that crime is bad now (even though it has been increasing throughout the so-called pandemic) well you ain’t seen anything yet. And these grubs that are out of control will become even worse when they realise that they don’t even have a micron of a life in front of them. They’ve been locked down, got no money, got no future, and got nothing in their empty lives. This is the breeding ground for sociopaths, criminals and those with complete contempt for society, law or even kindness. The flame has been lit and the bushfire is coming.

    • Dr fix says:

      Shitstorms like global warming require a long term view in order to fix the problem. Find out what the local and state government members are eating/drinking and give it to the offending little bastards and their drug fucked drunken parents, impotence will stop the next generation

    • George st says:

      I fear that although not totally correct you do make some accurate observations . It will be regional Queensland that sees the worst of it
      Anna will have no idea and most of her colleagues have no appetite to inform or upset her.
      Make sure your children can be raised in Brisbane

  4. Water woes says:

    Looks like another expensive fix for a broken council water pipe. Thankfully it isn’t a main, this one is near the water meter. Anthony st south Townsville this morning. The building manager has had to find the shut off valve himself to stop the water to the entire complex of units. Approx 80+. Frim what they can see its lifted the concrete driveway and has traveled under the slab right through the underground carpark and aldo through the main entrance to foyer. Sorry I havnt got pics magpie. But just like charters towers rd it wont be councils fault even though it is councils property. So im betting the residents will have to fit the bill. Heres one for fran to sink her teeth into, our entire water system in Townsville.

    • Prince Rollmop says:

      Oh no, the Prince hates this shit happening on a weekend. His little phone will be running hot and interfering with his Sunday activities – church in the morning followed by cooking some vindaloos followed by some licking of Councillors asses. He is a busy man. Poor poor Prince, our little water boy, under the pump so to speak.

      • The Magpie says:

        Perhaps you’ll find he is undisturbed, as there is evidence drifting in that he is a FIFO CEO … back in Brissy on the weekends, in the home he’s been trying to unload for years. No skin in the game up here yet if ever.

        • Unsurprised says:

          Well let’s say when he’s here he’s busy wasting rate payers money. He didn’t like the open planned executive office so has shipped everyone out so a full refit can be done and offices reinstalled! Oh the waste is just disgusting!

          • Supreme with the Lot says:

            I’m sure the executive suite refurbishment is only so the management team can adhere to the most up-to-date COVID protocols. Nothing to do with unwinding the changes made by a previous CEO, who spared no expense creating the open plan offices about two or three years ago.

        • Prince Rollmop says:

          Yea Pie, but he still gets text messages, emails and phone calls when something goes tits up. Which is good. Make the bastard work (and suffer) for his huge salary.

  5. Mike Douglas says:

    Aaron Harper posts “ this is not the time for politics “ but politics has got this City into this mess with the other two local State MP, s , Mayor , deputy Mayor choosing their State party over the safety of their constituents pushing Townsville into the top 50 crime cities in the World . They defended bail houses knowing 85 % of youth re-offended and even after rallies / petitions they stuck by their party making them complicit to the dire situation the City / State is in . Rumour also that the weekly Astonisher will increase tomorrow by 10 % to $2.20 .

    • I’ll be plucked says:

      Mike, it’s time AARON HARPIC told the truth and posted: ‘I HAVE NO PLUCKING IDEA WHAT WE DO NEXT TO REEL IN THIS COMMUNITY SCOURGE, WHICH IS COSTING LIVES. I’ve run out of ideas. Actually I’ve never had any, but hey, I keep getting re-elected.’ Thank you, Harpic.

  6. Mark the Jazz says:

    Others have suggested it but let’s make any new legislation Jenifers Law. Unfortunately I assume that our 3 fuckwits have the gonads to propose any meaningful changes. Won’t happen. Until the good folk of Townsville realise that the Labor Party of old, where they looked after blue collar workers, no longer exists we will continue to get the dredges of society representing us. Why is Walker still there?

    • Charlie Wulguru says:

      M t J. “Why is Walker still there” ….Because that is where the trough is. That’s all it has ever been about with him and his family. A trough to sink their dirty snouts into. Did you read about him trying to find a car for the woman that had hers stolen. Have you ever, in your life heard a load of shit like it. If ‘Birdbrain’ is so concerned he should give her his car or maybe even Baby Kyle’s car. If the useless mob he belongs to, had have locked these louts up six years ago, like they should have, the woman’s car wouldn’t have been stolen.

  7. Alahazbin says:

    There is already a TAFE teacher seconded to CYDC.
    It is a very demoralising job. They don’t want to learn and are very abusive. For every kid in the room, there are usually another person for security.
    I know him personally and to say that job is pulling him down is an understatement. At least he has other interest that lift his spirit.

    • The Magpie says:

      The Magpie’s entire point is that the little bastards might pay attention if they knew they don’t get bout until they qualify. And it would be up to the offender to elect for this type of sentence, and those that refuse it will have that taken into consideration when a penalty for them is decided … this time or the inevitable next time.

      • Achilles says:

        Many year ago when I first lived in Hong Kong my duties took me to prisons. It was interesting to note that most inmates were in for first, relatively minor offenses. All dressed the same and free option for such things as tattoo removal.

        BUT they had massive family support, the same family to which they had brought shame.

        Also clearly noticeable was the disparity in their food, bedding, TV etc.

        All the comforts of home were available, BUT you had to work for them, as you learned a trade or something equally useful, every time you passed an exam (milestone) you gained “privileges”. Incentives were the norm, as were their removal if you transgressed. and I don’t mean doing a workout in the gym so you could boast about your biceps.

        In the recent past I had occasion to revisit and yep, you’ve guessed it; the thought police have now got jails full of recidivists of all hues and attitudes. Just about every prison I entered had a governor with a degree in some fuck-whit meaningless creation. Equal male and female (hard to tell some apart) minders, no useful activity for the inmates, unless smuggling in and/or trading drugs counts.

        The only ones I saw doing “time” were the political activists.

        • No More Dredging says:

          Achilles, small matter but were these adult prisons? Are they really comparable to detention centres for children?

          • Achilles says:

            There was no distinction, anyone over 12 was eligible for the slammer, There was a degree of separation, but the younger ones got an idea of what awaits them if they don’t get themselves sorted out..

  8. The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

    $3.9m for a shelter shed and some parking. It’s quite breathtaking really.

    Despite the lack of common sense:
    – why add more vehicle traffic (this time shonky wide food trucks, porta-loo trucks, and a long list of hangers on) to a road only a few years ago we were talking of closing due to the danger to pedestrians
    – where will the breathless thousands park when they flock to the food truck extravaganza? Just Have a think about the successful foodie events and how many people and cars attend)
    – how can a shelter shed cost that much money? Even if we assume TCC did not actually put in cash (think instead in terms of planning, design, engineering and project management – which you can see a bucketload of in this project) how did the Feds get hoodwinked into paying almost $2m for a bloody shed.

    We have this elevated vagrant sleeping shelter when we could and should have had something useful to the community. Even if it was just an extra parking area from which to admire the stunning views of stolen cars and twinkling police lights across our brown, dirty, vandalised city.

    It should be named Jenny’s Palace because it shows the depth of vision and integrity she has.

    • The Magpie says:

      Very economic al design … the shed has no walls to speak of.

    • On the case says:

      Come on civil surly you cant be that nieve about the cost of this and the 1.9 million put in by TCC. That’s a bargin. Remember that jenny spent 18.5 million for a concrete runway 400km away. Remember Wagner’s need to drive those heavy trucks up and down castle hill. Also remember that little bugger phil Thompson wont hand over all that federal money, ( look out here comes Steve NMD of Belgium gardens). You need to put all that into perspective, after all she thinks it was named after her. CastleHill!!! Tounge and check comment :)

    • Amanda Reen says:

      Just on the new shelter shed on the Hill, Phil Thompson’s office wasn’t even advised or invited to the “opening” of them. The Mullet’s usual trick is to schedule these things on Parliament sitting weeks.

  9. No More Dredging says:

    ‘Pie, I appreciate that you are prepared to suggest a policy and program for a way through this incredible dilemma:

    Youthful offenders (after some number of chances presumably) will be mandated to go into detention and be “released only when they have become qualified enough to [be] given a genuine ‘ticket’, They cannot leave until this ‘contract’ is achieved, and government programs supporting employers would require successful trainees to work for a period of time before parole conditions were lifted.”

    Looking down the track past bail houses, boot camps and Don Dale Detention Centre I only ask this question. What happens to those (children, remember) who refuse outright to sign up to any ‘contract’ and refuse outright to participate in any program?

    • The Magpie says:

      It is taken into consideration by the beak at the time of sentencing … it would be a legislated demerit mark.

    • Kenny Kennett says:

      The other option is to join the army.

      • The Magpie says:

        You are clearly unfamiliar with modern entry levels to the Australian Armed Forces.

        • Mugwump says:

          Pie, while compulsory national service and training sounds great, look at current situation. The Adf are struggling for recurring especially army, simply because the “do gooders” have got their way. Recruit training is nothing compared to what it used to be. The entry level privates think they have privileges and when pulled into line by older offers and nco’s they claim bullying and are listened to by the “new adf”. It’s not a job for life and work your way through the ranks, instead its a 4yr position that alot don’t care about. I pity those who still do love the job and in the Afg and doing good an excellent job.. Their are many people who have experience of over 15+ years are taking retirement or early exit, rather than put up with the ADF’s Bs. Imagine putting youth who don’t care for authority and rules into this and the trainers at recruit and training level can’t even enforce the discipline required like what is required for all those who want to ne their, when taking in rules the “do Gooders” are making them abide by.

        • Jatzcrackers says:

          Yep, Australia’s ADF take less than 10% of those who apply !

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        You are fucking joking, or ignorant of the entry requirements of an all volunteer, highly technical, disciplined and well armed military force.

        Seriously, you were joking, and it bloody-well fell flat.

  10. Non Aligned Worker says:

    Ankle trackers for all those on bail.
    Automatic 1 year in detention if tracker is removed. No questions, no recourse.
    Toughen up detention centres. No video games, compulsory schooling and trades.
    Lets call this consequences for actions. Also agree that releases can be on achievement of KPI’s and goals set for the detainee.

    • No More Dredging says:

      NAW, it seems pretty obvious by now that we cannot make resistant, alienated children attend in any committed fashion to “compulsory schooling and trades” when they are locked up in detention. As Alahazbin has pointed out (and we have been reminded numerous times in the very recent past in Townsville) if you expect to be able to force children (i.e. recalcitrant and angry children likely already broken in so many ways) to comply with regulation – and I mean active force under threat of some sort of physical or mental torment like isolation or belting the fuck out of them Don Dale-style – you haven’t got a hope in hell. Oh sure, talk about chucking rotten fruit at them locked up in stocks at Stockland (sorry about the pun) but it ain’t going to happen and you know it. Some of these kids are way beyond brutalisation. There’s nothing some big bad bully, with or without a uniform, can make them do, no matter had dominating and zealous, no matter how insanely violent they think it is possible to be. That is why it is a hopeless cause appealing to the police or the judiciary to solve the problem. They simply do not have appropriate resources to get anywhere. And never have had. Not since Day One, circa 1860-odd, when Cleveland Bay was occupied. It’s not our fault but it is passed down to us and is our problem. And it won’t be resolved in the slightest by a continuation of the violent oppression, forced removal, isolation and intimidation that our society has tried over the past 150 years right here in Townsville. So we adults, the ones with the education, the money, the worldly experience and most of the political power and authority, have to get over it. We have failed and we are failing, and flailing, right now. Can we do something different, something original, something adult? Or must we regress into the Neanderthal, the large-brained, big-fisted but small-minded, entitled vigilante, obsessed with their capacity to solve every issue with violent oppression? It’s a choice. It’s a luxury we have at our disposal. What can we do with it?

      • The Magpie says:

        Very long on windy condemnation and chest beating, renting-of-garments virtue signalling, but not a single peep, not one tentative positive way through this, about possible ways to correct a dangerous and sad situation. And harking back to why this has eventuated (Cape Cleveland occupied …, really, NMD? is all a load of hot cock by the way) and playing the Blame Whitey card is EXACTLY why these matters aren’t fixed. And not a single word for the burgled, the victimised, the threatened and the traumatised … and now the dead … caused by these little hooligans who know how to game the system. If The Magpie thought that the little lawless arsesoles could or would read this blog, your tacit endorsement of them as victims, encouraging them to feel sorry for themselves, would never see the light of day around here. Posts like that one NMD make you part of the problem not the solution, but then, you’re hardly hidden agendas have always made that the case, haven’t they?.

        • Alahazbin says:

          Well said Pie. NMD never has a plausible suggestion.
          “You stole our land” has never been a valid reason for all this property and car theft.

        • No More Dredging says:

          ‘Pie, you made your position abundantly clear when you wrote that your, ” . . . entire point is that the little bastards might pay attention if they knew they don’t get out until they qualify [for some trade].”

          You know, and they know, that absolutely no one in Australia, particularly a child, is ever held indefinitely in custody for not doing as they are told (I’m not talking about murderers and rapists, I’m talking about ratbag children, car thieves and shitty little burglars, in youth detention). It doesn’t happen and it won’t happen, ever. So why bang on about making it happen?

          • The Magpie says:

            So guess no laws can be changed, to put their own fate in their own hands. You really are a silly prick sometimes.

          • No More Dredging says:

            ‘Pie, clearly you have a grievance, an understandable grievance, and you want to find a forum where you can air your grievance, have it recognised and acknowledged and have something done about it. Looking at this forum here, it is clear that other people have grievances too. And they want a forum, not necessarily this one, where they can air their grievances. Hopefully, some of them/us are also willing to listen to and acknowledge the grievances of others, some of which we never thought about or alternatively, joked about or made wicked bigoted observations about – sometimes in capitalised headlines so that we actually shout at each other about it.

            This forum (the ‘Nest) is clearly not broad enough to encompass all the views about individual issues, neither is the Townsville Bulletin, the Townsville Council or even the State Parliament, given the observations made here day in, day out. Everyone is shouting, no one is listening, everyone seems to be demanding something that is either unobtainable or completely at odds with what someone else equally loudly demands – not unlike Trump’s America. Can’t we have a truce? Can’t we put down our arms and sue for peace? Can’t we make peace our common ground?

          • The Magpie says:

            Couple of points there. You are seeking a forum where people can express apolitical, positive opinions free of party slogans and mythological history for the betterment of our community? Good, such are always welcome on this blog, and is why some of your contributions are not.

            And … and this is a serious point … The Nest is not a public forum governed by standard rules of engagement – it is a blog created by The Magpie to express his views, ideas, solutions, expose problems and wrong doing and offer a platform for his sense of cynical humour, to which others are invited to comment/contribute. But in the end, it is The Magpie’s private blog, and if his curating of the comments section is not to anyone’s satisfaction, they are free to create their site. The muddying of the waters by political shit stirrers from left and right, get short shrift and are sometimes not published, because they are obvious attempts to deflect and hijack arguments with codswallop.

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        Not one suggestion in all that. And by the way, putting the snots into the stocks was my idea, by which I still stand, but hey, if you want to support it too, be my guest.

  11. No More Dredging says:

    Today’s Guardian has a relevant article which contains this portion:

    At the tail end of the 20th century, Western Australia had the highest rates of car theft in the country. Sixteen people were killed in one 18-month period as a result of crashes linked to high-speed police chases with stolen cars. The state government was under pressure to act.

    In 1992, it introduced mandatory minimum sentences of 18 months for car thieves. Four years later, it introduced three strikes laws for home burglary.

    Around the same time, police in WA were lobbying the government to make it mandatory for all cars sold to be fitted with an immobiliser, and for laws making it illegal for second-hand goods dealers to accept goods without proof of identity and ownership.

    The regulatory reforms worked. Harsher prison sentences did not.”

    More ways than one to swing a cat?

    • Ray Fucking Purchase says:

      I think we all agree that a change of thinking is needed, and likely something other than (or in tandem to) tougher sentencing. But one thing does bother me a little in this particular instance… is there any evidence (other than the word of the motorists) that this was indeed an act of vigilantism? It sounds a hell of a lot like road rage if you ask me, and whichever it is, they are just as much to blame for this tragic death as the car thieves. If this death was the result of vigilantism or road rage, what does it matter? They’re still responsible for the death of a completely innocent bystander, and should be charged.

      • The Magpie says:

        The word f the police not good enough for you RFP? A senior officer made it clear that vigilantism was involved, otherwise why would he warn against it in an interview made shortly after the Holden driver had been interviewed. Are you suggesting that someone goes into a rage in an undamaged car and rams another one – which he clearly believes to be stolen and therefore not insurance covered by his own deliberate act anyway – out of sheer anger? But yes, call it whatever it turns out to be, on what we know so far, the Holden driver will likely face a dangerous driving causing death charge … one up from the Mayor’s ‘without due care and attention’ – which by the way tends to sum up her attitude to job as mayor.

        • Ray Fucking Purchase says:

          I take your point almost the whole way there, Pie, especially video evidence. But taking the word of a copper? No.

          Hell no.

          I need more evidence than that (and if it’s on video, all the better). They’re as fallible as anybody, capable of the very same foibles of humanity as you or I. Evidence is a must.

          • The Magpie says:

            Fallible, of course, they didn’t just arrive from Mars, but they held to much higher standards and transparency than you and The Magpie. That’s how we know hey are fallible sometimes.

    • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

      Without wanting to shit in your porridge NMD – in your story mandatory sentences with long periods seem to have worked – but your last sentence says they did not. Please explain?

      • No More Dredging says:

        Engineer, which “last sentence” exactly? Are you referring to the quote (in quotation marks) from the Guardian article? If so, those are not my words, they are from the article’s author.

    • Click click says:

      But but I thought speed cameras reduce the road toll?? So why so many deaths?

    • Scientician79 says:

      I think they were saying eliminating the theft at the source using car immobilisers, was more effective than increasing sentences in the 90’s.

      All well and good for the time, but now every car has an immobiliser and can’t really be stolen without keys – professional criminal operations being the exception – what now?

      What’s the equivalent of eliminating car theft at the source in 2021? Locking the house up tighter?

      Frustratingly the article also seems to suggest that car theft as a problem is solved – guess they’ve never been to Townsville.

  12. Alacan says:

    Oh here’s a thought to all the woes .. you could say it’s a woeful thought

    Come up with a plan .. let’s say, oh I don’t know , have ten points to it .. we could call it a ten point plan to whittle away the woes

    Let’s put a plan purveyor in charge .. oh I don’t know .. a captain of soughts .. perhaps a snoozy sought

    Let’s build a place .. a centre where the cars could be parked ..oh I don’t know .. let’s call it a diversionary centre .. but make sure the centre is not central

    Mmm such provision will mean that we won’t be talking about this in 30 years .. probably only one reason for that though

  13. Alahazbin says:

    Thieves have struck the home of the young lady who was killed on Friday night, according to the astonisher. Behind their paywall of course.

  14. George st says:

    Mark Bailey was keen to comment on the bail laws and need for change at his presser today

    It’s all good for the community to demand change and the government to act

    But where are they going to be held The criminal justice system is clouged up with most criminal trials ina pipeline 2 or 3 years long . Most facilities are already 120 per cent full

    This is a result of a 10 year under or no investment and union rules reducing effectiveness

    Those that get held on bail will just mean others who deserve it will be released earlier to make room

    Wake up. Only a change in government and a five year plan will change things

    You voted for it and you all deserve it

  15. The three amigos says:

    Our three local MP’s don’t have one testicle between them. Three limp wristed trough dwellers without the balls to go public about the issues in Townsville.

    As for the three useless female leaders – Nanna Anna, the Mullet and Carroll’s by candlelight, they too are incompetent fools without a brain between them. And again, too gutless to take a tough stand and care of the interests of our city.

    And finally, NMD you are a complete twat. Always running to the defence of your crooked Labor comrades, defending these incompetent arsewipes at every given opportunity. Your nickname should be ‘the bagman’ after that crook Jack Herbert. You are obviously the ‘bagman’ for Townsvilles elected members.

    • Kenny Kennett says:

      You mean the bag lady, eh Lorna?

      • The Magpie says:

        Kenny, give the Lorna shit a rest will you? The stuff you ascribe to someone believed now to be a permanent resident of France, and unlikely to have the most remote interest in Townsville nowadays, displays some sort of sick obsession on your behalf. Knock it off.

        • The three amigos says:

          Yes, Lorna is too busy putting out fires so to speak, in France! Mind you, with France being in lockdown she may have extra time on her hands to post on the Pie’s website? Then again, writing and ‘admin’ isn’t one of the old bags strong points.

    • Alahazbin says:

      Hey! 3 Friends,
      You forgot to mention Steve BG.

  16. Guy says:

    My suggestion to reduce crime in townsville:

    Federal funding to help townsville home owners fit appropriate deadlocks front and back to doors on suitable buildings.

    Federal funding helps pay for a percentage of the cost to fit deadlocks. ( if local businesses decide to artificially raise their prices to feed on the riches – you train up existing handymen to take on the extra work. I think abloy makes suitable non pickable locks ( ever seen the keys that look like metal sticks ?). Its widely known that multigrips are used to wrench the door handle around – a deadlock device doesn’t allow this. Ive watched a locksmith do it infront of me, it takes perhaps 10 seconds and is virtually noiseless.

    The work is followed up with an inspection of the door and lock. The inspector could look over the property and verbally advise the weak spots that need to be addressed.

    You could pass a regulation in townsville that all new houses must have these deadlocks fitted.

    A paltry few million should help straight away and its effects seen quickly.

    There are other simple measures council could take to reduce crime but its not going to happen and you get the usual screams of outrage from self interested parties here to keep the problem going. My seriously deluded view that basic security measures actually work in the real world is a sheer fantasy doomed to failure. My Klingon ramblings of personal responsibility and basic measures that could be put into practice are nothing that no sane or reasonable person could ever entertain.

    Just my two cents.

    I’ll see you all here for the next outrage

    • Kenny Kennett says:

      Or Guy, we toughen up the laws and punish the snots. And do tell, why the Federal Government? Given it’s the State Government that contributed to this explosion of criminal activity, why shouldn’t they pay? I’m surprised you didn’t blame Les Tyrell for this problem.

    • Alahazbin says:

      Guy, Another simple method to curb the stolen car rampage would to fit a battery isolator or ignition cut out to your vehicle. With modern vehicles, I would say the latter be the preferred device. With a battery isolator that kills every system and would have be reset when turned back on.

    • Grumpy says:

      Here’s an idea. Pay for your own security devices.


      • Guy says:

        I already have deadlocks it would help those without them

        Again – 500 million to blow on two pieces of doomed infrastructure, no money to solve basic problems.

  17. Dan Gleesac says:

    I know I am preaching to the choir, but how can Anna P expect anyone to take her commitment to law and order seriously, when you have an example like Message Bank still in his job?

    The bloke got on the booze, got in a fight that he may have gone a long way towards starting, and there are zero repercussions for him.

    In my humble opinion, the crime problems we face are because we have generations of people that have never experienced accountability for their actions.

    Our so called Leaders are setting the bar low. MP after MP has been caught doing the wrong thing, mangocube, Dr miles and the Lady Cilento fake survey and don’t forget Jackie Trad. Nothing happens.

    Our Mayor is involved in a traffic accident that takes a life, and nothing appears to have happened to her. She still fronts up, larger than life drawing her nice little earn.

    These crims are just doing what they do (ignore the law), and not listening to what they say.

  18. Hi Beam says:

    Well well, what a wonderful lot of twaddle! The problem as most admit is generational. Up to 4 generations of drug/alcohol affected offenders who have been born and brought up to offend.
    Clearly the anti-biotics the government is using to treat this disease are not working. This is because it is not a disease but a virus.
    To treat a virus you require a jab to break the cycle.
    So here is the answer. To stop more and more poor little darlings being born into neglect, crime, poverty etc. etc. etc. the present crop, after being found guilty of an offence get nutted or spayed, hence breaking the cycle, might take a few years, might offend the tree huggers and do gooders, but you can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs.

  19. One legged tap dancer says:

    Here’s a proven solution to the crowded detention centres problem: Many moons ago in Darwin they had a similar problem – not so much with stealing cars or driving dangerously, but more to do with drunken juveniles on the streets of the CBD, harassing law-abiding members of the public.
    Without any fanfare they started rounding up the culprits and shipping them out to an indigenous camp more than 100km from Darwin.
    There was no public transport available so the little shits had two choices – stay in the camp and maybe learn about how to behave from the elders, or walk back to Darwin.
    Needless to say, the walk option wasn’t popular, so they stayed with their own people.
    Within a couple of weeks the Darwin CBD was trouble free.
    Now before all you touchy feely do-gooders scream in protest, please remember that the little shits that are ruling the streets of Townsville have no respect for the general public, so why should they be treated with any respect?
    The State Government needs to come down HARD on this or there will be more and more vigilantes taking the law into their own hands.
    Regarding the death of the young Townsville motorcyclist, it will be interesting to see if the vigilante gets charged with a serious offence.
    My money is on them getting a far harsher punishment that the little shits in the stolen car.

  20. Mike Douglas says:

    Townsville Mayor Jenny Hill told the Australian her City is in a major crime crisis and has called for the Queensland Government to find a long term fix after the death of a young motor cyclist struck by a vigilante . Ms Hill said all levels of Government need to step up .

  21. The Count says:

    Apparently some private FB groups are looking share mobile numbers and home addresses of all the polies in Townsville including handing the list the ring leaders of the kiddie crime gangs.

    • The Magpie says:

      Tell you what would be interesting …. if the list of pollies addresses was given to the kids hanging around malls and such at night, planning their outing for that night … and include the make of cars the pollies drive.

    • The three amigos says:

      That is a great idea. I mean, if you are going to steal a car or do a break and enter, a politicians property is ripe pickings. They are all wealthy! Imagine the looks on the Pollies faces when they are targeted just like the rest of us? Ha ha ha. Poor possums, watch them suddenly get the Government pay for Trump walls around their fortresses.

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        Imagine the blubbering and tears from Messagebank if it was one of his kids that had their car stolen, could fill the Ross River dam.

      • I remember says:

        Yes well we all remember a sleeping mayor mullet who had her big red car stolen. The same one tony irlend said he wouldn’t do a dodgy insurance claim on for her. Thats why she bought out of Brisbane. Wonder if she tried an insurance claim with the black one??? Possibly brake issue or maybe vision obstruction? Im sure we will know soon enough from tne police report in court.

      • Gazza says:

        Easy to break in when they are away at parliament.

  22. Cantankerous but happy says:

    Aaron Harper was booked in for golf Sunday, but didnt turn up, someone must have alerted the ignorant tosser that it’s not a good look to be playing golf whilst other people in town are attending a roadside memorial because he and the govt he is part of are gutless cowards.

    • The Magpie says:

      Christ, don’t tell me he infests Rowes Bay or Townsville clubs … The ‘Pie will need more hand sanitiser. Just hope cowardice and stupidity don’t come in transmissible virus form.

      • Rose bay says:

        I feel sorry for the poor dumb fucks that he plays with. Hes been a member for a while now. Always plays in later groups because he knows that he might have gotten lots of votes but hes no welcomed by members out there.

        I remember the picture magazine ( mens mag lots of tits and bush) used to always have a couple of pages dedicated to
        ” they drew a cock on it” segment, just wondering if harper was the template for the editor

  23. Dave of Kelso says:

    6 detectives to fly to Townsville to help out.

    Another band-aid solution.

    A change in the legislation is required!


    • The Magpie says:

      They’re not getting it still, are they? READ MY LIPS, it’s the laws once they’re caught. The local cops are able and efficient but hamstrung and demoralised at turnstile justice. Six Brisbane dicks (why detectives, the offenders whereabout is just about always known before they nick off to go joyriding.

  24. NQ Gal says:

    The driver of the stolen car involved in Friday night’s incident has now been arrested. He’s 18, so it is more likely that he will be detained at Her Majesty’s Big House, rather than immediately bailed.

  25. Mark Bailey is a Fuckwit says:

    Surely Mark Bailey has got to resign after saying “A number of people have died, who where in the wrong place at the wrong time”.

    So lawfully walking your dog with your pregnant wife or lawfully riding your motorbike is the wrong place.

    I suppose Mark Bailey being blind rotten drunk at the Mad Cow at 1am Saturday morning is the right place. Still no action, just covering for Labor mates.

    Anyone know how to petition the Governor General to remove this Government?

    • The Magpie says:

      Excellent comment, very restrained after what a furious ‘Pie has offered.

      • Hondaman says:

        Using Mark Bailey’s reasoning I reckon Darryl Lynch was also fairly unlucky considering he was also just riding down the street Nathan Street!! This highly paid incompetent really should be repurposed by the Premier, perhaps a non- speaking role somewhere, anywhere but in the responsible position he tenuously holds.

    • A says:

      One problem with current court system is that because we can explain why something happened (i was drunk, i was on drugs, i didnt like the way someone looked at me), it is used as an excuse to get off being punished in most cases, but in every case lesson the punishment given for the crime committed.

      If the Labour party was correct years ago when they said 90% of the crime in townsville was caused by the same 80 people than the solution to the problem would seem very easy. Lock those 80 people up for a couple of years and solve the crime problem. But i suspect they probably had the figures wrong.

      I find it puzzling when politicians say dont fight with intruders, or if your car jacked just give them the car or what ever else they want. They are replaceable. They must have far more money than me cause i dont have a spare $20 000 to replace my car, or a few grand to fix it up from damage caused. The age pension doesn’t pay that well.

      • The Magpie says:

        You’re damn right about the last line, but you are sadly unaware of two of the staple judge’s saying (not so much magistrates) – ‘That may be a reason but not an excuse …’, and ‘Just because you say it is so, doesn’t make it so.’

    • Hondaman says:

      Wasn’t Les on the fight card for that night?

  26. The Magpie says:

    Mark Bailey you are a disgrace. Not just as a politician but as a person.

    David Crisafulli speaks for all sides of political decency when he calls on you to immediately apologise for your disgraceful ’wrong place, wrong time’ remarks about the death of 22-year-old Jennifer Board.

    Yesterday, although not making specific reference to Ms Board, you dismissively said, “a number of people have died, who were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and its incredible tragedies (sic).”

    That is simply the most callous, offhand and insincere attempt at avoidance of political responsibility imaginable. And deeply wounding to Ms Board’s grieving family and friends, her death airily written off as bad luck. And it takes away responsibility from the alleged vigilante and the juvenile car thieves, as though they had the right to be where they were, doing what they were doing, and the law-abiding Ms Board didn’t.

    Tell you whose in the wrong place ALL the time, Mark … YOU, you pizzling unthinking bastard, the outrage your comments have attracted is nothing to do with politics, it is to do with common human decency and dignity.

    You are lacking both, Mark Bailey, proven by your unmitigated gall in replying to calls for an apology by saying they were “sadly about personal attacks instead constructive contributions on a serious issue for our community.” Like you’d fucking know about that, you howling insulting imbecile, you are the one with absolutely no perception of the right time and place to be right.

    We’ve all given up on you and your government having the courage to take meaningful steps to protect the community and people like Jennifer Board. You have just spelt out why.

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      Is there to be a public protest and if so, where and when? I wish to attend.

    • Al says:

      Very well said, Pie. Most Queenslanders,indeed Australians, would agree with you.

    • The Magpie says:

      Well they’ve nailed him. But The ‘Pie wonders if the charge isn’t likely to reach the required standard of intent.

      From the report:

      An alleged youth crime vigilante accused of driving the car that hit and killed 22-year-old aspiring policewoman Jennifer Board in an horrific Townsville crash has been charged with murder. The 25-year-old Bushland Beach man was taken into police custody late on Monday, accused of being behind the wheel of a Holden Statesman on Friday night that police allege was chasing a stolen Hyundai through Townsville when the tragedy unfolded.

      The driver of the allegedly stolen Hyundai, 18-year-old Gregory Clubb, was also arrested and later charged after allegedly going on a crime spree to Cairns and back following the crash. A second 18-year-old man, Layne Newman, has also been charged with four counts each of unlawful use of a motor vehicle and stealing and two counts of attempted burglary.

      • Grey wig says:

        There doesn’t need to be intent

        (b) if death is caused by means of an act done in the prosecution of an unlawful purpose, which act is of such a nature as to be likely to endanger human life;

        see section 302 (b) of the criminal code http://www5.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/qld/consol_act/cc189994/s302.html

        • The Magpie says:

          Perhaps, but still a bit thin for murder (and The ‘Pie is only commenting on the law – happy for the whole library to be thrown at this deadly goose.)

        • TheOtherGuy says:

          What is the unlawful purpose the driver is being accused of? Chasing a stolen car? How is that LIKELY to endanger human life? It may be different if he had deliberately rammed the stolen car and the driver of the stolen car was killed. The police regularly over charge in hope and then the guilty finding is something lesser.

          • The Magpie says:

            Sorry, TOG, just visiting the planet? How is chasing a stolen car likely to endanger human life? Or is this some mordant humour on which The ‘Pie has not picked up on.

          • TheOtherGuy says:

            In the context of the statute being quoted it’s pretty clear. Lots of stolen car chases do not end in the loss of a human life nor is it likely in the legal sense. Deliberately ramming a stolen car might be different, but the act of crossing to the other side of the road accidentally would not meet the fault element. This sub section is used for entirely different types of acts, such as the Whisky Au Go Go nightclub in Brisbane arson when a lady died. The driver will not get convicted on this charge, I would bet.

          • The Magpie says:

            If you deliberately ram a car, for whatever reason, the act of ramming does not end with the impact but the subsequent physical results of the ramming which follows as a direct consequences. And therefore cannot be justified as ‘accidental’. Therein lies the charge of murder which the cops are keen to lay, but the DPP has not been heard on this yet. It is their advice that matters, and like all prosecutors, they don’t take on losing cases if they can help it. As the old saying has it, ‘cops catch ‘em, DPP cook ‘em.”

  27. Baileys Irish Cream (tinged with a dash of shit) says:

    Bailey is a pathetic little weed. Another gutless turd and crooked politician. Mr ‘Yahoo emails’ Bailey’s words are soft and pathetic, just like his pissweak personality. Gutless political moron

    • The Magpie says:

      Goodness gracious, are you really suggesting he’s a shit tinged with a dash of Bailey’s Irish Cream?

    • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

      For a moment I thought you were talking about the water supply in Aitkenvale, Annandale and Douglas.

      For what it’s worth, don’t drink the water in those areas just now.

      The Mayor must have filters on her residence, or she is used to sucking shit.

  28. Achilles says:

    Maybe the oath of allegiance for politicians upon being elected should be revisited to more broadly include their respective duties, neutrality and allegiances.

    They should attend a course outlining competencies, duties and expectations prior to being permitted to go to the polls? Then pass an exam before being sworn in regarding such qualities as Honor, Duty, Decency, Neutrality, Impartiality; you know, the things which we plebs expect of them.

    An employment contract with duties, set hours of work, accountability for expenses both direct and indirect; audited independently and published at the end of each month. Simplified conditions for termination of contract.

  29. Ducks Nuts says:

    So now we have a 100+ police task force to target kiddie crime and car theives. Whoopdefuckingdoo!

    So once again the police spend all this time and effort catching kiddy criminals and then they’ll still get out on bail. We’ve seen this before. And it doesn’t work. It’s not about the police. It’s about the judicial system. Ferfucksake! This government has a serious cognitive disability.

  30. Dave of Kelso says:

    A couple of things;

    First, trade training for the snots will be problematic.

    There are education requirements for both the skilled and unskilled trades. Presumably these would have to be attained before trade training commences. There is 6 months to X number of years depending on the individual snot who has been truant most of there life.

    Training at fully equipped trade training workshops will be required. If this is done outside a secure facility the snots will abscond as they did at the Bush camp facility, or what ever it was. I cannot see full TAFE like trade training workshops being set up in the Cleveland Bay Youth Respite Centre.

    Then there is the willingness to learn. And those with featol alcohol syndrome are beyond useful training.

    For the snot with the prerequisite education, willingness to learn, with a sense of responsibility, yep, it will work. Good luck.

    And second,

    The short notice memorial service for Jennifer Broard was a most fitting tribute. I would have liked to attend but did not learn about it until after the event.

    I expect that in the near future there will be a public gathering to protest aboriginal youth crime (AYC) and the State Government’s role in creating the environment in which AYC can thrive.

    I have never attend a public protest. Dear ‘Pie, should you or other Nesters learn of such a protest please put it up on your blog so that I can attend.

  31. Strand Ghost says:

    Just read the Bully this morning and seen the story about the teen who was involved in the Cleveland detention centre riots with $195000 damage., the Judge in Mackay was impressed with him for pleading guilty (WTF) she said no convictions be recorded, and he be detained for 3mths but released immediately and she wished him good luck !! No wonder we have a problem with our crime, it won’t matter if we have another 100 police as these kids will get a smack on the pee pee, and released back into the community, that’s why we need to get these idiots in charge to change the law.

    • The Magpie says:

      What’s the name of the magistrate? Sound suspiciously like one of the infuriating soft touches that does or used to sit in Townsville.

  32. Cantankerous but happy says:

    Cheryl Scanlon is a quality police officer with lots to offer, she spent many years in Townsville and is regarded highly, but it’s not the police that’s the issue, it’s the pissweek Govt and it’s inability to enact laws that remove these grubs from the streets, for long periods of time. Unless legislative changes happen to support this new taskforce it’s another case of this Govt saying get fucked to the community once again.

    • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

      Sad to see someone who seems like a competent, decent and caring person set up to fail and potentially screw her career just to provide a smokescreen for the incompetence and arrogance of her political masters.

      I wish AC Scanlon all the best, but sadly think it will be a lost cause no matter what resources QPS throws at it.

      • The Magpie says:

        Don’t agree. The ‘Pie fleetingly knew Scanlon around the courts, and was pretty impressive definitely driven to do her police work. No dummy, either, her track record in Townsville was sufficient to send her fairly quickly into the top echelon of non-pen pushing coppers. And anyway, sure as hell will more use than a retired army bigwig with nothing better to do that be our ‘champion against crime’ who found nothing of value in his cynical political contract, except his pay packet.

    • Jatzcrackers says:

      100% correct Cankers’ ! Typical piss poor Qld Gov/Premier appeasing the masses with the old ‘we’ll get more coppers onto these little shits’ !
      Meanwhile, not even an action from her that actually addresses the real issue with watered down legislation that addresses the real problem !
      This woman does not give a rats arse about the problem and seeks to play the old ‘look over there trick’ ! Can’t wait to see what her and her Labor cronies come up with to get the heat of themselves !

  33. Achilles says:

    The TB publishes a photo of the accused vigilante, but refrains from one of the moron who drove the stolen car. I’m sure that I read somewhere that he was 18, supposedly an adult.

    • The Magpie says:

      Ummm, think you’ll find there were 2 pix of this particularly unpleasant little foul-mouthed turd in the story about his expletive laden court appearance … one blurry, with other a mask on and looking slightly crossed-eyed. No point for a link, paywalled.

  34. Alahazbin says:

    A very good letter in the Sunday Mail. The last paragraph states “It could, and perhaps should, result in official intervention into that home situation, providing more guidance and advice.”
    I completely agree that should be happening, but I hear all the bleeding heart and indigenous leaders saying that it is racists and will instigate another ‘Stolen Generation’

  35. Dave of Kelso says:

    Debbie Kilroy, ex crim, now major bleeding heart and lawyer, on the ABC RN news this afternoon is railing against any changes that will protect the community against aboriginal youth crime. Could not find a specific link to her presence in today’s new. She claims there is no crime problem. She is the sort of turkey that the Puddleduck has been listening to, rather than the electorate.
    Profile below.

  36. Non Aligned Worker says:

    I am not versed in the law but now that we are seeing charges of murder levelled at drivers that have caused death due to their actions, do we now see the driver of the car that killed 4 of the occupants last year charged with the same?
    Do we see the driver of the car that caused the police to crash into a pole charged with attempted murder?
    Any stolen car driven on the wrong side of the road should also be charged with attempted murder as this could be a consequence of the action.
    Finally a solution. Stealing a car = attempted murder. Wonder if you get bail for that?

  37. Peak at the beak says:

    Viviana Keegan was the beak . You can summary histories from maiden/appointment speeches on the net. Former DPP and defence barrister . Its hard not to work for donors in this town but a net search turns that up. You check the date for whom appointed by.

  38. Dave of Kelso says:

    Some people bang on about the ‘stolen generation’ but are silent about the much larger aboriginal foster generation. Below is an extract from:


    In 2018–19, 51,500 Indigenous children received child protection services, a rate of 156 per 1,000 Indigenous children—an increase from 134 per 1,000 in 2014–15.

    12,600 Indigenous children were the subject of a substantiation in 2018–19. The most common type of substantiated abuse was emotional abuse (47%) followed by neglect (31%).

    At 30 June 2019, 21,900 Indigenous children were on care and protection orders. Of these children, 70% (15,300) were on guardianship or custody orders.

    1 in 18 Indigenous children (around 18,000) were in out-of-home care at 30 June 2019, two-thirds (64%) of whom were living with relatives, kin or other Indigenous caregivers.

    Indigenous children continue to be over-represented among children receiving child protection services, including for substantiated child abuse and neglect, children on care and protection orders and children in out-of-home care.

    Based on data from 6 jurisdictions, 84% of Indigenous children who exited out-of-home care to a permanency outcome in 2017–18 did not return to care within 12 months.

    • The Magpie says:

      Interesting stats, but would’ve been far more enlightening if it had been written in understandable English. ‘ …substantiation’ …’ ‘substantiated’ ‘exited out-of-home care to a permanency outcome’ …’permanency outcome’? FFS. This is verging on the Orwellian, and in fact, is an example of that other unrelated scourge, bureaucratic obfuscation – translation: pompous gobbledegook to remove any social context. Should be a law against it.

    • Frank Arouet says:

      The Palaszczuk Labor Government supports institutional racism via Aboriginal Councils the new non-offensive name for gazetted reserves for Aboriginal people.

      Hidden behind this façade is welfare dependency, chronic substance abuse, daily sexual assaults of children, violence and systemic misappropriation of government funding.

      There will be no accountability nor change while Palaszczuk turns an intentional and deliberate blind eye to the reality in these communities, and the incongruous behavior of her Ministers and State Members.

      • The Magpie says:

        That sounds like what might be called ‘internal racism’ black on black, which is no surprise … life can be doubly miserable for some in these communities because they don’t belong to the right ‘mob’ or ‘family’ …. tribe in other words. That’s the racism.

        • Pat Coleman says:

          Those are pretty stupid fucking comments . There are local governments NOW. Corruption isnt just in some aboriginal councils , its all over the fucking white ones too. And, you dickheads, if aboriginal people or the white community decides to have a majority indigenous council..what say you then??

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      I have no doubt these numbers are also a reflection of the fact that the govt only want indigenous families to foster care indigenous kids, some of the families they are sent to are only marginally better than the one they were removed from, guess this is what they mean by culturally appropriate outcomes, one of Gracelyn Smallwoods favourite catch phrases.

  39. Strand Ghost says:

    Hi Magpie
    It wasn’t a magistrate in Mackay that let the little darling back on the streets after detention riots, it was a Judge it said in Bulletin, Judge Julie Dick, dick by name dick by nature.

    • Grumpy says:

      Julie Dick is a former president of the Children’s Court, former defence counsel and well known softy when it comes to sentencing. Very pleasant and personable. She’ll be gone next year.

      • The Magpie says:

        Met her a couple times socially, and covered quite a few matters of hers when sh was sitting in Townsville, Nice and forthright woman, on and off the bench … the worst The ‘Pie ever heard her say from the bench when she reprimanded a defendant by advising him ‘don’t come into my court full of grog and bad manners.’

        Would like to know the full context of the Mackay decision – the outline given might be a tad coloured by current frustrations – and emember, soft or not, no judge likes being appealed, so there must have been some other elements don’t know about. But in truth, wouldn’t be entirely out of character.

  40. The 7.45 Bulletin says:

    Have they sacked 2 journo’s at the ABC TSV? 2 reporter jobs are advertised on seek.com.au one has a tag “Journalism & Writing” and the other “Government – Federal” . And I thought they were independent???

    Links here https://www.seek.com.au/job/51495001?type=standout#searchRequestToken=67ada1a1-ba64-4b55-9b7b-1c93d4027f85

    And the 2 nd one here https://www.seek.com.au/job/51495002?type=standout#searchRequestToken=67ada1a1-ba64-4b55-9b7b-1c93d4027f85

  41. The Inquisition says:

    The UAE just launched a mars probe after previously launching satellites.

    Hopefully like the Christians, they will find it increasingly difficult to perpetuate religious fairytales about the origins of the universe.

    Its time to go the war against Townsville’s Looney Christian right too.

    • The Magpie says:

      Huh? Looney Christian right? As versus what, sane Christian left? You seem to be suggesting that in some religions there is an area of sanity, free of delusion, that believes in male medieval chauvinist writings aimed at population subjugation through fear, with a big SkyDaddy hanging above like those balloons over Canberra. The big churches, mosques and synagogues are all political organisations seeking power and influence (and an excuse for the apparently forgivable sin of slipping a hand into the choirboys Andy Pandy rompers).Your view is too narrow. And why go to war against all or any of those folks … being themselves is its own punishment, and the law will look after the transgressors now. Maybe.

  42. The Magpie says:


    Tweet of the Day as Trump legal team fumble and mumble their lies.

    Andrea Junker ®
    I’m starting to think the only person Trump ever hired who was actually qualified to do her job was Stormy Daniels.
    7:14 AM · Feb 10, 2021·Twitter for iPhone

  43. Bentley says:

    Hmm, that was a helluva response from a lot of contributors. It took me a while to take it all in, I must confess. ‘Pie you were a bit terse with a couple of you more radical regulars, which made me think about the big picture. For about 30 seconds.
    Most of Gods creatures use some form of punishment to teach their offspring social behavior, discipline, and manners which benefits the pack, swarm, nest, herd or whatever. We, however, with our relatively (sometimes) huge brains, muddy the waters with love, human rights, religion, laziness, poverty, politics, etc., etc., and shortchange our society. I sometimes wonder at our devolution.

  44. G.Ardia says:

    Where is a video of the new council CEO drinking some of the piss coloured Townsville water coming out of taps at the moment?

    • The Magpie says:

      Looks tasty, though, according to this FB post.

      How is this in ANY WAY, in ANY FORM, acceptable in what we like to think is a First World Country?

      • Rowdy says:

        When they fixed the Douglas water treatment line in the middle of the night do you think they accidently hooked up the new replacement pipe to the sewerage pipe?

      • Russian Hooker says:

        Hullo, I am one of two lady friends of Mr Donald Trump. We spent time with Mr Donald on business trip and he enjoy having drink that colour. Is Mr Donald your President in Townsville City?
        Love Svetlana

        • The Magpie says:

          Perhaps it looks more like something Mr Trump delivered to you in the most personal way … after he had eaten an excess of asparagus for dinner.

      • G.Ardia says:

        Who would have thought the water in Hughenden was better than Townsville.

        Council have been taking the piss out of us for year, maybe they are just giving back. Looking forward to joining the Shine Lawyers class actions.

      • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:


        Here are some basic water treatment facts.

        The design of the filters at Douglas can cope with the level of algae coming out of the dam. It’s what they are made for. Unfortunately a lack of investment in upgrade and maintenance means there is no redundancy or surge capacity.

        If filters get clogged, they are designed to be switched out and cleaned. Of course assuming there is enough gear to get it done.

        We could also run the raw water through more slowly to better filter and treat it, but that would need a plant operating at full capacity.

        The shit soup we are being served is based on the decaying bones of a once really good water infrastructure and council investment program.

        Shit on the streets and shit in the water pipes. Thanks Jenny.

        • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

          … should have added that at least some of the discolouration is coming from unflushed mains and poor system maintenance – in the old days TCC would make repairs then dump the contaminated / unsightly water to it was clean for users.

          Magpie – happy for you to add this to my previous reply.

          • Kenny Kennett says:

            Guy, you are King of spin for Jenny and water, what’s your comment on this? Les Tyrell’s fault? Or is it safe to drink and you’re going to post a video of yourself drinking it to prove the Mullet is doing a good job?

      • Jatzcrackers says:

        Was the sample on the right after it was processed through someone’s kidneys ?

  45. Prince Rollmop says:

    Water coloured like that is fine. It’s the flavour that counts anyway, not the appearance. And considering how fucked the pipes, pumps and infrastructure is in Townsville (thanks Jenny Hill and Councillors) that colour of water is probably a good result under the circumstances!

    What to blame what to blame – recent storms? Algae? Chemical imbalance (like in Jenny Hills brain)? Natural phenomenon? Or has a Peter Newey theory come true??

    Some of the Princes consultancy budget cuts coming to fruition under his new reign? Could be an ironic moment. Or it could be another standard moment in Townsville’s history of mismanagement and fucktardary at the hands of Councils over the past 10 years or so…..

    • The Magpie says:

      Take your humorous points with bit of a resigned groan, but The ‘Pie can tell you, the appearance of water in any first world city (c’mon, let’s pretend) is a primary consideration, and reasonably so. We quite rightly have reasonable expectations of various everyday things, for one reason that we can tell when something is amiss. That’s one reason that restaurant staff wear blue bandaids if they cut themselves – blue is not a colour generally found in food – and then is glaringly easy and queasy to spot if it somehow ends up on a plate (had this experience once about 25 years ago at a local pub).

      This cannot be acceptable, especially since there are reports that this has gone on in some areas for more than a week.

      • The Wulguru Wonder says:

        This quote from TCC’s latest update on the water:

        Townsville Water General Manager Scott Moorhead said crews were working on every available mitigation to alleviate the discolouration issue.
        “The problem is the amount of algae coming through from the dam is clogging the filters and slowing down the treatment process,” Mr Moorhead said.
        “We are trialling additional filtration equipment at the Douglas Water Treatment Plant in an effort to produce more water.
        “We are also varying the depth at which we are taking water from Ross River Dam to try and minimise algae getting into the system as well as some of the minerals that are causing discolouration.”
        Blue-green algal blooms are a common issue and are caused by an excess of nutrients being washed into the dam due to the onset of the wet season combined with warmer temperatures.“

        Two genuine questions someone my be able to answer (Uncivil Engineer are you there?)

        Firstly, if it is caused by algae coming from the dam into the Douglas Water Treatment Plant, why are only certain areas of the city being affected by the discolouration and not the whole city water network? (At my place the water is clear).

        Secondly, if blue green algal blooms are a common issue, why have we not experienced this type of discolouration in the water on a regular basis in the past?

        • The Magpie says:

          In answer to your second question, recently a reader advised that a new aerator was being installed in Ross Dam, in part to combat BGA. It has been operating forn some months, so the multi-million dollar contract was awarded well before this discolouration matter. But both your questions are valid.


          • George Patton says:

            Got your infrastructure wrong there magpie, can’t have an aquifer in the Dam it is already full of water. Aerator is what has been installed and been running for months to help add oxygen to the water and limit algae growth.

          • The Magpie says:

            Whoops … right idea, wrong execution. Thanks for the heads up, will fix.

            And if you’re referring to The ‘Pie’s personal infrastructure, it is as leaky and rusty as the city’s water network. Produces same coloured water too.

        • G.Ardia says:

          I would suggest your questions come from being able to see through a quickly cobbled together press release.

          What you’re seeing it a lack of planning and investment by Townsville City Council to have infrastructure adequately prepared for common and known seasonal issues.

          You cannot manage critical infrastructure when your motives are cost cutting based on consultants’ advice, and timeframes of election cycle to election cycle.

        • Ducks Nuts says:

          Mr Moorhead has been trying to whitewash the issue

      • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

        I have no words to describe this cluster. Coles has bottled water on special :(

        • The Wulguru Wonder says:

          I think it is just the next stage of Jamie Durie’s water saving strategy for TCC….people won’t use any water if they are afraid of what will come out of the tap.

          • winnie says:

            might also be related to a local main/valve replacement job


            a new cross connection cut in

            both result in a surge through the pipe system

            This disruption to water mains always causes a release of build up crap on the pipe walls when the the main/new valve in switched into the system

          • The Magpie says:

            Look whatever way any of you want to cut this, IT IS TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE, whatever the cause.

  46. Culturally Appropriate Outcomes says:

    What exactly does this mean? Anyone? Gracelyn? Alf L? Please, tell me, I’m listening.

    • No More Dredging says:

      CAO, rather than waiting for someone to tell you, go online and read it for yourself. Here’s a short excerpt from the first ‘cao’ thing I found. There are dozens more:

      “Evaluations of social programs are rarely straightforward, especially when the programs address community-wide issues, tackle complex or entrenched problems, or where the relationship between cause and effect, action and outcome, is poorly understood or changes according to circumstance (Humphreys et al., 2009; Rogers, 2010). Evaluations of Indigenous programs can also be especially complex because of the context in which they take place (Guenther, Arnott, & Williams, 2009).”

      Mind you, seeing how government doles out funding for sports rorts, stadiums and whatever Dutton does, “outcomes” are often pretty tricky to discern let alone measure.

  47. The Magpie says:


    “It is not even my fault sir. If they want to leave their f-cking door unlocked.”

    Child grub’s defence to Magistrate Viviana Keegan when facing court on a stealing charge. Somehow, he failed to convince her he was worthy bail and remains in the slammer.

  48. Cantankerous but happy says:

    Townsville Water are simply neglecting their core business, that is to supply a safe reliable water supply to the Townsville region. Instead what we have is a clusterfuck of wankers too busy wasting time and money on demand graphs, sensor readings, data analysis from stupid meters and posting photos online describing their latest wank project for a couple of likes. Meanwhile the supply system itself is corroding away through neglect, we have a sewer system that has so many cross connections many parts of town can’t flush the toilet when it’s raining and so many staff have been sacked from Townsville Water over the last few years that not many are left who have a clue about what’s going on, ah well, this is what we voted for.

  49. The Magpie says:

    Not all brown water in Thuringowa is the TCC’s fault. This is Aaron Harper’s bathwater after he heard the news last Saturday morning.

    • Achilles says:

      Does this mean he’s dissolved?

    • Prince Rollmop says:

      Christ, that’s what the Princes bathtub looks like after he has had a dip in it. All that sweat, oil and grease. Can’t imagine the ‘fatbergs’ in Clives street!

      But as has been mentioned already, cutbacks of manpower within the water department of Council combined with cutbacks in maintenance budgets and new infrastructure spending have created a ‘perfect storm’ in Townsville. This is not Indonesia or Mexico, it’s the city of Townsville. And please keep in mind that under local government legislation it is ‘the Mayors budget’, so any cutbacks in any of the aforementioned areas should be pinned on our hapless Mayor Mullet, the V8 driving army bogan. What’s next, water standards that are equivalent to Oakey QLD or fucking Flint Michigan???

  50. Elusive Butterfly says:

    I’ll see your “Quote of the Day” Mr. Pie and up it with this drivel from the Bulletin’s editor.
    “What can we say? The Townsville Bulletin has been predicting our current crime crisis will lead to the death of innocent people for years. On Friday night, our worst nightmares came true … writes Craig Warhurst.”
    How is it possible that the Bulletin has been predicting “for years”… “our “CURRENT” crime crisis.
    Searching for an alliteration Craigy??
    Not only are you in charge of a pathetic editorial department, you can’t write yourself!

    • The Magpie says:

      And he wasn’t here until a year ago … this is another nasty aspect of News Ltd mendacity, when they take over a community’s main source (or used to be) of news, and try for fake continuity from previous editors they are trying out..

      Now that said, fair’s fair, when you steer clear of the juvenile iditorials, the paper is mounting excellent diverse coverage of the issue, and it doesn’t matter if they are doing so out of self-interest, the Astonisher is letting all sides be aired, and are holding the feet of various parties to the fire. So good on them (The ‘Pie is feeling faint, give us a moment). And no fault that they could do otherwise, but in reality, this post is incorrect English.

      It should read: “Young offenders have forced THEMSELVES to spend the night etc …” The phrase ‘have been forced’ has the air they are being unfairly put upon. Hardly the case … make no mistake, any overcrowding is a direct result of -yup, you got it- juvenile offenders. The ‘Pie’s heart bleeds.

  51. Alahazbin says:

    The story in today’s astonisher about the 15 year old who gave the judge an expletive outburst as did the 18 year old a couple of days ago reminds me or the following joke:
    Two boys, 8 and 5 years of age. The older one says it’s about time they started swearing, so he says they will start at breakfast. The mother asks the older boy what does he want for breakfast. “ I’ll have some fucken eggs” . Mother gives him a good hiding and tells him to go to his room. She ask the younger one what does he want for breakfast. “I don’t want any fucken eggs”

    • Achilles says:

      Please Mr. Alahazbin, what’s a “good hiding”?

      • Alahazbin says:

        Well! How about ‘a fucking good belting’ or are you one of those that ‘spare the rod’

        • The Magpie says:

          If any such ‘belting’ is delivered outside a structured understanding of why it is happening, it will be counterproductive. And a word of caution, some of these ‘kiddies’ ain’t so kiddy, and some of the bigger could easily turn deadly. Some are capable enough to shove the rod one spare’s up one’s fundamental fundament. Fact.

        • Achilles says:

          I was being bloody facetious mate, these turds have never had a “good hiding”. my point was their parents (I use the word loosely) have never been “disciplined in any manner, hence their progeny are clueless troglodytes.
          So grammatically a “good hiding” sounds like a fun game, doesn’t it?

  52. Elusive Butterfly says:

    Mr.Pie it’s not just the horrendous standard of reporting in the Bulletin that needs to be addressed.

    The repeated “sensational” reporting of this situation is dangerous.

    A fourth-rate editor of a one newspaper city is leading a bunch of third-rate “journalists” and simply fuelling the fire of a situation that is rapidly becoming uncontrollable.

    “Hey bro, I made page three in the Bulletin.”

    “That’s fucken nothun bro. I was on the front page!.”

    These poor little “warriors”, as Gracelyn would call them, are simply lapping up this publicity that shamelessly spews out of the Bulletin’s pages and website everyday.

    They’re feeding on this garbage and, just like rats, growing stronger.

    If, and it’s a fucking big “if”, we had any sensible leaders in this city, they should be sitting down with the Bulletin and telling the powers that be to, first, pull their fucking heads in and, second, preferably, cease all reporting of the little shitbags’ antics.

    Never gonna happen, I know, but, a sensible step that should be looked at.

    I will now go and make sure my car is locked and hide my keys in a bucket of Townsville water.

    No one’s gonna look there!

    • The Magpie says:

      Sadly, so correct. Facts need to be reported, but as Murdoch has shown both here in the USA, the manner and the adjectives employed make a mockery of objective reporting at News Ltd.

    • The Magpie says:

      So true, and what better could further illustrate your point than this video link inserted in a Courier Mail story about hooning this morning. The hypocritical false outrage implied in the posting of more than five minutes of mindless hooning and burn-outs is despicable … the lads will ecstatic, chortling away over ‘that’s my car, bro’ and high fiving each other.

      And what makes it worse is that the video was compiled and released by …. The Queensland Police Farce media team. (The ‘farce’ only applies to the media fuckwits, who make real coppers lives all that much harder with hoon endorsements like these.)

      Same goes for releasing photos of piles of money … in tens, if not hundreds, of thousands – nabbed in drug busts. Those images no useful purpose at all in discouraging drug activities – pics like that make the risk v reward arguments a slam-dunk for wannabees.

  53. On Two Wheels says:

    Just rolled into Nindigully pub. Overheard bar conversation while waiting for a beer. The topic, the crime wave in Townsville! I was ashamed, embarrassed and fucking angry! Our city should be a powerhouse, not a sick joke. Newman ripped the guts out of regional Qld, but the current mob have had plenty of time to fix things, but this is where we are! Disgraceful.
    Oh, and before you ask, the water here is crystal clear

    • Grumpy says:

      Went to a B&S in Nindigully in the 70’s. Got lucky.

    • Dave Sth says:

      LOL went through there and back recently but didn’t stop. Border checkpoint cops at Mungindi looked bored out of their brains…

      Wow though Townsville trending there and not Moree down the road with a similar problem…

  54. Dave of Kelso says:

    When the Divine Right to bail ends.



    The reaction of the snots, with their ingrained expectation of automatic bail, when that bail is denied, is demonstration enough of the failure of justice and a fair go for the wider community under the Puddleduck State Government.

    And where does the problem start?

    When the parents of the snots, from day one, and every day after for the next 12 years, do not send them of to school, properly rested, properly fed, properly supported, and properly dressed for a reasonable education.

    It is time to put the heat on delinquent parents. Cashless welfare card and an aggressive truancy control program would be a start.

    Meanwhile, I will lock the car in the locked garage and hide the keys in our locked house and activate the all round security lighting. This is what we have to do. Aaron Harper are you taking note?

  55. Grumpy says:

    So Jenny drinks discoloured water on TV.

    Wonder where she got that idea from?

  56. Elusive Butterfly says:

    Mr. Pie…more “responsible” reporting from the Bulletin.

    “A SHORTAGE of GPS trackers could give hardcore teen criminals free rein through the city after a major bungle in the State Government’s new youth crime plan.

    The Townsville Bulletin can confirm there are no GPS trackers housed in Townsville, despite the government announcing the implementation of the devices as part of its new seven-pronged youth crime pan.

    The Bulletin also understands that it takes multiple days for the trackers to arrive in the region from Brisbane, allowing the recidivist offenders days of free rein to potentially commit more crime.”

    What next?

    Will the Bulletin list all known unlocked cars in Townsville?

    What a great front page “scoop.!”

    News Ltd’s very “original” slogan … “We’re For You” should be changed to “We’re for Crims.”

    • Alahazbin says:

      Well Captain Cupcake was on the telly tonight showing off about 10 of the bloody things. Must have got them specially sent up, just to prove everybody wrong. Sorry Tom Nicholls and the astonisher

      • I’ll be plucked says:

        Hey Bin, was Private Cupcake wearing one? He should have been, given his Government’s appalling record on youth crime!

  57. Kenny Kennett says:


  58. Kenny Kennett says:

    Council has reconfigured water intake levels at Ross River Dam and enhanced treatment processes at the Douglas Water Treatment Plant resulting in improvements in the colour of the water being distributed throughout the city’s water network.

    Water with significantly less discoloration may take a number of days to work through into the city’s households.

    Council continues to work with the Department of Health to rigorously test water multiple times a day at different locations across the city to ensure it continues to meet all applicable health standards and is safe to drink.

    Council will continue to monitor blue green algae and intake levels in the Ross River Dam and adjust treatment processes to continue to deliver less discoloured water while maintaining the applicable health standards.

    • The Magpie says:

      And all this was not foreseeable?

      • No More Dredging says:

        ‘Pie, where I live the town water is clear – as ever. What about you? What about anybody else? Exactly which suburbs or streets have this dirty water? Are we building a mountain out of a molehill?

        • The Magpie says:

          You really can be a tedious twerp, your ‘my mother drunk or sober’ defence of Mayor Mullet is wearing thin. Are you saying oh, if its only just a few suburbs then that’s OK eh? That’s the equivalent of saying let’s not talk about those juvenile crims, let’s talk about the thousands of other kids who go to school, have good parents and don’t break the law.

          FYI, Banana Breath, ONE suburb would be too many, and there can be no argument that neglect and political fart-arsing around is that the core of this. And would you be asking such a pompous questioin if your tap water was the colour of shit (or piss). No, you wouldn’t. PYFHI.

  59. Cajun says:

    ‘Pie, I remember well the days when we actually had competent people handling Townsville’s water supply. Many of whom must surely cringe at what has been happening recently. Sadly, one of these sterling people left us early this morning. Vale Ian Hamilton.

    • The Magpie says:

      That is very sad news, Ian Hamilton was a straight shooter and thorough professional. He brought sanity to the water in this comments section when he thought people had lost sight of the real issues. Do you have any more details?

      • Jatzcrackers says:

        Indeed Pie, Ian Hamilton was not only a knowledgeable professional in his chosen field, but a really good bloke. Some may not be aware that in Ian’s earlier days that he was a competent long distance runner and I’m pretty sure he was a Kiwi.
        Happy to be corrected on the latter point, but regardless was always a gentleman ! He had strong, very sensible views on the Townsville floods and the main factors that contributed to the enormous damage to the city ! RIP mate, it was good to know you !

      • Non Aligned Worker says:

        Vale Ian,
        A great bloke.

      • Cajun says:

        I do Pie, but until I know that the family is ready the share, I’ll have to leave it for now.

      • Alacan says:

        This is very sad indeed

        Ian gave me my first job as cadet drafty at Ariotti Hamiliton and Bruce in the early 70’s

        The grounding and technical discipline received was long lasting and i believe saw me well throughout my career

        Vale Ian .

    • Alahazbin says:

      As with a lot of Council department’s. A lot of experience has walked out the door and a lot of ‘dead wood’ has floated to the top.

  60. TheOtherGuy says:

    Labor in the NT also scrapped laws so that breach of bail was no longer an offence for youth offenders. No surprise that they are having similar problems to Townsville.

  61. BigRonnie says:

    “Indigenous immigrants” bro are you actually fucking retarded?
    They’re the only people in Australia that can’t be called immigrants.

    • The Magpie says:

      Common usage, even among the semi-educated, nowadays allows one to describe an outside of a city or state to be an immigrant … the equivalent of ‘blow-in’ in this case.
      But OK, make that indigenous migrants, although one doubts that applies to people forced out of a community because of anti-social behaviour are looking work or better living condition.

      migrant | ˈmīɡrənt |
      1 a person who moves from one place to another, especially in order to find work or better living conditions.
      2 an animal that migrates.

      And, bro (which thankfully you are not) The ‘Pie writes it, you read it … who do you reckon the retarded one is?

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