Bad Boys, Bad Boys, Whatcha Gonna Do, When They Come For You: Alan Joyce Has Company In Corporate Comeuppance

Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse than the Poisoned Leprechaun, it just did on Thursday, in the form of a real scumbag from Melbourne. Tim Gurner gives Joyce a run for his money as the ‘unacceptable face of capitalism.’

Lots of hand wringing down in the Walker Street Hermit Kingdom over what appears to be a fairly simple planning decision on The Strand. But it’s what hasn’t been said that this relatively minor matter makes for the brewing of a perfect political storm.

The new Bulletin iditor inadvertently reveals she is mightily upset at the severe peckings she has been receiving from The Magpie over glamorising juvenile crims,  but doubles down, saying it is official policy … and proves it in Friday’s edition.

Townsville Chamber on the hunt for new CEO.

And on the American scene, age shall not weary them, nor their wallets dim … age is now the hot button issue in Washington,  where clinging on to power is almost an Olympic sport.

The Magpie knows that things are pretty grim all round, but if you can spare a few bucks to help with the costs of your weekly missive , be a great help, the button to donate is at the end of the blog.

Albo’s Starting To Wish The Voice Would Get Laryngitis

The PM is no doubt yearning for the good old days of … say … last month – way back then,  his only concern was a few whingers still asking pesky questions about the Voice – he’d soon sort them out. But if a week is a long time politics, a month must seem like an eternity for the embattled champion of the battlers. His whole scenario has imploded in tried and true Labor fashion, his only solace being that at this stage, The Libs still haven’t got an electable leader and really haven’t landed an effective blow on him. It kinda seems that the Opposition is  following Napoleon’s dictum of never  to interrupting your enemy while they’re making a mistake. But why would they try too hard, as Bentley points out,  Albo’s on continuous loop with his version of truth telling.

The ‘Pie has just about chucked in the towel trying to keep up with this dangerous national farce, all brought about by the hubris, grandstanding and lack of leadership of one man. But the old bird has contented himself with annoying some dullards on Twitter who keep up their Greek chorus of the Yes camp’s own disinformation. A sample of the week’s work in birdland.

And then there was this example of the Fallacy of Transferred Authority, where a celeb’s unexplained opinions are given more weigh simply through exposure rather than veracity.

A harmless, mildly amusing quiz show host’s endorsement of anything, from breakfast cereal, toilet paper or a destructive divisive wedge in our social fabric is not a stance that would persuade many, including The ‘Pie to buy the argument.  Silly, silly stuff.

But Labor Had A Couple Of Boosts During The Week

The first was the High Court decision confirming that Alan Joyce is what everyone unofficially knew … that’s he’s a gold standard arch arsehole of the corporate world.

Now under normal circumstances, that would be a great PR story for Labor, a genuine win for social justice BUT that was tarnished by Albo’s chummy association with the Poisoned Leprechaun Alan Joyce, archival pics all over the place about their bromance. And Albanese’s unbelievable (literally) claim that he knew nothing of the rejection of Qatar Airways applications for more flights in the country … that a PM and a former Transport Minister at that, wouldn’t be dialled in on such a decision that would cost millions in tourism and keep Qantas fares artificially high, is exactly that … simply unbelievable. And the Prime Minister’s suspected insider horse trading with  Joyce has been exacerbated with the reputed $24million ‘bonus’ the departing Qantas CEO was getting for his bastardry. Albo has been reviled almost as much as Joyce, but the PM might be sweating a bit more, but he keeps returning to Voice as a hidey hole.

And the often vile and not to be condoned abuse heaped on Joyce’s head makes The ‘Pie think that this nasty piece of work might be near a breakdown, continually sobbing about the loss of love, adoration and respect. But there will be some small consolations.

But that bonus may yet be under threat because the outrage and likely backlash against the airline and the board. Here’s hoping.

But Joyce’s Top Spot In The Hall Of Corporate Infamy Has Been Unexpectedly Challenged.

This brave little Richie Rich reckons we need to fix the Aussie economy by purposely engineering a 50% rise in unemployment, so he can show workers just who is boss.

Now don’t want to go out on a limb here,  but The ‘Pie reckons this is one bloke unlikely to be a guest speaker at an ACTU fundraiser for a destitute family. But tell you what, the old bird would pay quids to be there if this obnoxious morally braindead slimeball every got tricked into such a gig. One could only hope there were lots of Painters And Dockers in the audience.

Gurner has issued an apology, of sorts but only because his business partners were livid with his remarks and there threats of business repercussions. Writer Val Badham in Guardian really nailed his hide to the wall, when she wrote:

Gurner is engaging in that ancient neoliberal habit of dehumanising working people as some kind of acceptably expendable other. These people inflict the pain of unemployment on the rest of us as one might torture a rat with an overcharged electrode – except they don’t even oblige themselves to drop the body in a bin if the rat happens to die. For rich-listers like Gurner, the desire of working people to live lives of dignity and comfort is “arrogant”. By comparison, their multimillion-dollar lifestyle is a state of nature, something akin to the divine right of kings.

Anyone up for a bit of regicide?

The word gurning is the ‘sport’ of pulling grotesque and ugly faces. Perhaps this is another great case of nominative determinism, where people tend to gravitate towards areas of work that fit their names, like our state Treasurer. Tim Gurner definitely qualifies.

But even if true, the myth of tradies ‘getting a lot to do little’ wouldn’t be the base cause of property market problem. The Brickworks company’s CEO Lindsay Partridge sees the problem lies more with the shiny bums of this world.

When he was quoted in The Australian during the week, Partridge says the housing crisis and affordability issue is made worse by state bureaucracies that are incredibly slow in approving land and housing developments. He points out In New Zealand, it takes about 21 days to get a use approved. In Australia, it can take six to nine months, all going well. Land can take 10 years to get approved, and someone has to pay that holding cost for 10 years while the bureaucracy “mucks around Partridge reckons that NSW has the.worst delay bureaucracies in the country. But Queensland and Victoria are just as active in deepening their rental crisis. Both states introduced tenant rights that forced out vast numbers of investors with houses to rent. Victoria lost about a quarter of its rental stock as a result of that government blunder.

From The Magpie’s view, sounds about right. And sounds like a grain of truth on the local scene.

And Speaking Of Approvals …This Is Going To Be Interesting

The latest barney over building regs on the Strand reminds The ‘Pie yet again of the old joke about the Jewish dilemma: pork chops at half price.  The Townsville council and Mayor Mullet are playing ‘gosh a little ol;’ council to do’ game over development requirements about car parking.  On the one hand, Walker Street craves the extra ratings income – which would be considerable – but on the other hand, in an election cycle, don’t want to upset the local vote (North Ward division councillor Ma Greaney must be close to soiling her dainties over this one.)

But hidden in all this is another consideration for Mayor Mullet and her planning poohbahs.

In a nutshell, the 9-storey 18 unit development includes a restaurant underneath, but no provision has been made for car parking for patrons, just 32 places for residents.  The planning guidelines might be as rubbery on the height issue, but parking generally not much wriggle room. A general rule of thumb by many Australian councils is every table of 4 equals one car park, and some councils … certainly places like Sydney … accept a cash alternative, each phantom parking spot sometimes costing a once-only, up-front fee of  thousands of dollars. How this helps the perceived problem is a triumph of greed over guts. Not sure if this is even allowed by the TCC, but it wouldn’t fly anyway, it would be unsustainable by any developer, and he’d be sure to walk.

But wait … this goes much further than just this development and this area. For a start, the newcomer’s next door neighbour, the Watermark, was forced to provide underground car parking for its restaurant and pub, so they may well reasonably  challenge any leniency for their new competitor.  Locals in the back streets near the Strand will also be understandably furious.  But the ‘Pie detects another unspoken reason for all the mealy-mouthed hand wringing by the council. Perhaps they’ve twigged that the council itself might be in the developer’s firing line if knocked back on the parking score.  Accusations of favoritism and unfair inconsistency might be asked they may ask some very uncomfortable questions about the yet-to-materialise Double Cross Hotel next to the stadium. The council has been super generous is waiving the need for the regular numbers of car parks for that development, if it ever happens.  It might even prompt the Strand developer to ask questions about possible cronyism, since the main proponent of the Double Cross Hotel is a former business partner and still good mate with mayoral whisperer Dolan Hayes.

Like The ‘Pie says, this is going to be interesting, the conflicting cost benefit in political terms is almost a perfect political storm. Because it is now firmly in the political court … the planning poobahs have approved the application which now goes to the next full council meeting. Be interesting to watch that vote … both the mayor and Fran O’Callaghan may surprisingly disagree on the right course.

And A Nice Little Bit Of Verbal Foam From Frothy

The Man Who Would Be King (of Walker Street) Frothy Molachino has been allowed to stick his bib in here – Mayor Mullet doesn’t want to wear this on her own whatever the outcome. as The Astonisher reported, frothy went all Captain Obvious on this one.

Deputy Mayor Mark Molachino echoed concerns, saying he wanted to alleviate pressure on traffic and parking availability. “This will help us with the 18 units going into there, so it will provide a bit of relief on the housing front … but it’s the overflow from the commercial side that we really need to address,” Cr Molachino said.

Err, mate, don’t press your luck with your witterings. These 18 units will do exactly SFA for the housing and rental crisis … they will all be million dollar plus investments for rich residents who will always have a roof over their heads or holiday lettings. One really does wonder what we’ll be getting if you actually take over as mayor when Mayor Mullet retires mid-term after what she expects to be a comfortable return to office.

New Bum Needed For The Chamber Pot

Seems the holidaying Townsville Chamber of Commerce boss Michael Kern will return to work only long enough to clean out his desk. The Chamber is already advertising for a new CEO, which is a bit of a surprise, since Kern took up the role only 11 months ago.

The Magpie is in the dark as to why Mr Kern is leaving and no rumblings of a problem have reached the Nest. One commenter has suggested Mr Kern may be heading for politics, but his considerable qualifications and track record with his previous employer in the Ag sector make it seem unlikely – the financial sacrifice, not to mention peace mind, would be considerable.

Should The Magpie Be Flattered, Or Furious? Or Both?

The Magpie has good reasons to be careful about getting up himself, he is small potatoes in the media scene, but occasionally, he feels his views are not always ignored even if they are not acknowledged or agreed with. The ‘Pie has worked had more gigs in more newsrooms than the current Bulletin editor has had touch ups in the stationery cupboard, so feels entitled to at least an opinion. So here’s one.

Bulletin iditor Cas Garvey seems to be a sensitive and defensive soul. On the face of it, it would appear that the frequent blasts from The Nest about the hypocritical policy on showing criminal activity posted on social media by juvenile fuckwits – and at the same time maintaining a lofty virtue by suggesting media platforms should ban such posts – seem to have made Ms Garvey jumpy. Perhaps, when she feels compelled to be duped into publishing such stuff – very much to the kiddies delight and admiration of their peers, – she may have even  developed an involuntary eye twitch like Inspector Clouseau’s boss in The Pink Panther.

The ‘Pie surmises this, because she was at it again this week, but with a difference.

But then Ms Garvey, all flushed with indignation, took to the editorial keyboard with a vengeance, which seemed suspiciously like a pre-emptive defence, when she huffed in her iditorial:

And if it makes another young thug determined to get similar publicity for law breaking, is that a win, too? But you’re all over the place with this homily of self-justification – you tell us you blur the thugs faces IMMEDIATELY AFTER TELLING US YOU HOPE PEOPLE RECOGNISE THEM AND DOB THEM IN TO POLICE.  You just don’t seem to get it that those who watch this stuff on social media are of a like mind to the perpetrators, and won’t be dobbing anybody anytime soon. The only way you could do that is by unblurring their faces for the general reader, but then, of course. the bragging amongst the turds would increase to fever pitch.

And if you are seriously suggesting these kids will have any empathy for their victims, you are clearly in the wrong job, perhaps even on the wrong planet. Of course you have to report these things, but no one is better informed by actual video of the law breaking, and the crims love it.

It is a major encouragement to these juveniles, a sort of official recognition,  and mealy mouthed, wildly contradictory idiocy like this Ms Garvey clearly betrays that you have a sneaking suspicion that The ‘Pie may be right and you may be wrong.

The idiotic inconsistency of whatever dingbat policy you have, m’dear, is highlighted by the fact that you are the titular boss of a news outlet that one day can have a headline about a dead indigenous woman being eaten by dogs, yet just this week we see this …

Blurring a bit of a leg wound!?! Oh, FFS.

Just what snowflake profile image you have of the Astonisher’s dwindling readership seems pretty blurred, too … but then, why wouldn’t it be, it is supplied to you by the click rate of various subjects. An asylum being run by the inmates, indeed.

Twitter Twerpery

Once or twice, The ‘Pie has bumped into the wacky officialdom of Twitter – exonerated on both occasions when challenged – but this one had the old bird stumped. The ‘Pie had replied to a post joking about those who don’t like Trump should take pills that were depicted, with the label suggesting they would maintain the right level of Trump Derangement Syndrome. But when he fired off this merry jape, a rap over the knuckles was swift in return … from the Twitter admin machines. But the old bird couldn’t work out what he’d said to justify this action taken.

Then the penny dropped after about the fifth re-read …  can you spot the apparent problem?  The Twitter monitoring machines obviously couldn’t care less about political opinions of any stripe, and much, much worse including abusive and foul language are mainly ignored. And The ‘Pie was sure he hadn’t transgressed any of the 10 listed matters that makes up their idea of ‘hate speech’.

SO The Magpie’s can only conclude that one single word, taken totally out of context, alerted the automatic response … and that word was ‘chink’. These automatic set-ups simply see the word and then rush to make fools of their programmers by issuing schoolmarmish notice like this.. Like they care.

Not sure I could be bothered pointing this out to them … might upset their delicate sensitivities. What jerk-offs.

In The USA, Is There A DIalling Down Of The Din?

There seems to be a modicum of calm, of important matters being put on hold in America just now, while the whole country waits for the trials of Donald Trump. While the man-child himself spews out more incriminating material in his panic, the rest of the place just seems to holding its breath. But there is some vapid activity, the argument about age in politics, and some sort of half-hearted wacky attempt of ‘impeachment imitation’ of President Biden. It is so transparently childish as to be amusing,  with our first cartoon in this week’s gallery even calling on popular music to highlight the tomfoolery … hum along to the tune of 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover.

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That’s the week, comments run 24/7, put on the cricketer’s box and dive in. The donate button to help with blog costs is below.