Why this blog exists...

The Magpie

Sunday, June 28th, 2020   |   140 comments

Another Fart From The Council Fan Factory Goes Pffft: The Proposed Smart Precinct Has Spectacularly Fallen Over.

Yup, read it here first, folks (and in the Astonisher sometime next week, if ever), the TCC Curly and Mo show goes on, with its usual cost to the ratepayer/taxpayer, as the former Bus Terminal cum backpacker hostel in South Townsville is no longer part of our shimmering future.

The road trip of no return … Lil Patty ‘Hot Lips’ O’Callaghan hits the road for TEL, to …ummm .. to …err … visit family in Mt Isa? TEL members are not going to get any return for this little jaunt.

Will the Bulletin opt for honesty and consistency about job losses close to home? Not to worry, just a rhetorical question from a humorous blogger.

And the Townsville Council get a big tick of approval for one welcome recovery initiative (yes really) … and it sure ain’t the ‘jobs for the boys’ Recovery Task Force rort.

The best of how we’ve learned to laugh at the adversity of the shutdown …

Plus the latest antics of the Trumpanzee swinging through his fantasyland.

But first …

A Burning Issue

Like a pinball machine scoring minus points, Anna Alphabet continue to ping from one to the other, racking up an impressive negative total on the border closure issue.

Screen Shot 2020-06-27 at 8.39.35 pm

VOLUNTEER firefighters are blazing at being asked to cover shifts patrolling the controversial Queensland-NSW border block, saying they don’t support its closure.

Firies, the heroes of Queensland and Australia’s nightmare summer bushfire season, are also smouldering at being asked to do a job they did not sign up for saying they want to help not hinder communities.

So now Madam Palaszczuk wants firies to act as, and presumably have the powers of, police? As volunteers? How the fuck will that work, pray tell?

This issue has lit a fire under Bentley, who sees the Premier facing a tricky question: will there be children in the cars that the firies have to check?

Firies border patrol small

Townsville Smart Precinct Another Dumb – And Now Defunct – Decision

Remember this?

Screen Shot 2020-06-27 at 9.03.03 pm

Well forget it. And it would seem that Mayor Mullet, in a desperate bid to cover her amply exposed arse in the budget due out tomorrow (Monday, June 29) has also decided small businesses no longer need help to recover from both the floods last year and COVID-19.

This info lobbed into The Nest during the week from someone The ‘Pie is satisfied knows what they are talking about.

Magpie, you might be interested in this one; the famed new Smart Precinct at the Old Transit Centre has spectacularly fallen over.

This is despite a $5m deal with the State to establish a Defence Hub. This was also a signed agreement with Department of Small Business for $750k contribution in rent and fitout. Smart Precinct will now be at 143 Walker Street, where the Small Business Recovery Centre was set up to help small businesses recover from the floods and now COVID-19.

Word in Council is the Recovery Centre Manager and the team were given 24 hours to pack up and move out so they could start the refurbishment works of 143 Walker Street. There is no agreement with the State for the Recovery Centre or the Defence Hub to be included so they have had to dramatically scale back Smart Precinct. Matt Steine, Council’s former Chief Innovation and Investment Officer, has been moved sideways to Manager, Director of Smart Precinct.

There have been major costs incurred by TCC for works done at the Transit Centre in preparation for the full fitout, designers etc. All just walked away from. The Defence Hub will apparently be no longer involved and Dept of Small Business is teetering on pulling out because of how they have been treated. They currently have nowhere to operate the Recovery Centre from to support small businesses.

Another great cluster fuck of an idea from Council driven by greed and status, costing ratepayers money and missing out on vital state investment, plus costing the small businesses of Townsville access to support services.

Quite so.

Don’t blame The Magpie, he didn’t vote for her.

Speaking Of Her Arrogance …

The local office of property valuers Herron Todd White Property Clock, which is generally a reasonable barometer of both the residential and commercial markets


Interesting factor here – the Bulletin prattles on about ‘signs of recovery’ and other such euphemisms for ‘not much happening,  but the residential market on this same barometer has been ‘bottom of the market’ in Nov 2011, Nov 2012, Nov 2015 and Nov 2016 … obviously there was an understandable disruptor with the floods last year, but now we are supposed to be starting to see a residential market recovery?

Investors are always attracted by bargain basement fire sales, but once they have snared a property, what they do with it in a very precarious residential market begs the question, and doesn’t really point us in any stable direction. Commercial properties present a somewhat different equation, since if say 10% to 15% are unemployed, ergo, 85% to 90% are not, and will continue as they have, albeit a little more circumspectly. And most businesses will continue to be OK on reduced profitability., and sadly, staff.

The ‘Pie’s projection is that Townsville will recover fairly smartly to pre-COVID levels of selling coffee, hamburgers and having hair primped, but the long game of the property sector is anybody’s guess. However,  given the TCC budget is due to be handed down tomorrow in the face of the biggest disruption since the Great Depression, one would have thought that the mayor and whoever the CEO is this week, would have spared a few hours seeking feedback from the Property Council, local industry groups, and key investors before the document was readied to be tabled.

According to Magpie business sources, she did no such thing, being the populist economic drongo that she is.

Good luck, Townsville.

But Fair’s Fair, Good One TCC (Seriously)

This letter has been sent to all lessees of council property.

From: Amanda McInnes <email hidden; JavaScript is required>
Sent: Wednesday, 24 June 2020 2:53 PM
Subject: Townsville City Council Rent Relief for leased properties – July to September 2020
Importance: High

Good afternoon Tenant,

As a result of the Covid-19 pandemic, Townsville City Council had previously approved rental relief to our lessee’s for the months of April, May and June 2020.

The provision of further rent relief has been approved for July, August and September 2020.

Rental relief for July, August and September 2020 will be 100% of the rental charge to be waived.

Invoices will not be raised for this period. This rent relief will be reviewed again in September 2020, and a decision will be made for future rental charges.

Please take care, and if you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me.

Kind Regards,

Amanda McInnes

Property Officer –  Property Management

Good one, done with good grace since any alternative would’ve been counter-productive.

Wha ….?

At first, The ‘Pie thought it was a bit steep for new council chambers. But then he read the story.

 Screen Shot 2020-06-26 at 9.56.57 am

Comedian of the Week …

… is this chap.

Scott Stalker, co-owner of Matte Blkack Violet. Screen Shot 2020-06-27 at 5.34.02 pm Meet Scott Stalker, part owner of the new restaurant Matte Black Violet, under the Madison Plaza Hotel in the CBD. It would appear from the pic that Mr Stalker has thrown caution to the winds and is perhaps treating himself to one glass too many while seeking inspiration for his second newspaper interview … the first one didn’t go too well.

The Magpie has mentioned this new venture a few weeks back, suggesting opening a restaurant deliberately with no outside signage was a very courageous move, only marginally better than calling it the Wuhan Wet Market on Flinders.

Courageous in the Sir Humphrey Appleby sense from Yes Minister.

And since the original story, things have only got even more discombobulated for Mr Stalker, when after a glass or six of inspiration – we assume that there was no other substance involved, although the evidence does raise the question – when he again to explain his Baldrick-like plans for the place. His gift for Pythonesque hilarity is quickly to the fore when he tells the Astonisher, “the restaurant’s focus is on modern dining without the pretentious attitude”. But no sooner has he parroted this ‘mission statement’ than he burbles on, “We want people to not only admire the aesthetics of the food on their plate, and want to take a photo of it, but also get great joy of consuming the food,” he says. “Dinner at Matte Black Violet is a whole dining experience to be savoured. The menu features heavenly dishes such as charred octopus tagliatelle, baked camembert, eggplant canneloni, tipsy salmon and pork belly, and the cheeseboard, stocked with local cheeses has also been a hit with diners.”

Umm, what local cheeses? Hitting diners over the head with a cheeseboard probably saves them from banging the heads on the table when they are presented – truly – with menus that read right to left, on the undoubtedly market tested grounds as explained on their website: ‘We read everything from left to right. All day, every day. Reading from the right engages the right side of your brain, the creative side. We just want everyone to take that half second longer, to give themselves the moment and evaluate the menu.’

And then, without a single pretension within cooee, Mr Stalker tells that apparently right side of the brain is needed to get into the place:

“You just know that any food, wine or cocktails concocted at a place called Matte Black Violet will be ridiculously rad. Secondly we wanted a name that wasn’t indicative of what you may have imagined it would be. In fact you will not find a Matte Black Violet sign outside, just a pretty sweet purple strip.”

Nope, nary a single pretension in sight. Well, perhaps just a teeny one …

Screen Shot 2020-06-28 at 12.04.09 am

And one is thrown into deep contemplation when one goes to FAQ and the VERY FIRST is ‘Where are the toilets situated.?’

But fame may not be too far away for our local version of Scottie From Marketing. He tells us he is expecting things to go gang-busters when footy crowds are back to full strength and they discover the ‘sweet purple stripe’. The ‘Pie will probably never dine there (as it’s unlikely reporter Bettina Warbuton ever did, the Bulletin’s former panic-stricken chief-of-staff now shuffled off to re-write guff like this off the internet) but the old bird sure as hell wants to be around when a few fuelled up footy fans looking for a feed find the lack of pretensions of Matte Black Violet too hard to resist. When they cop the menu, it may just suddenly become Matte Black Violent.

The Boss Of The Dudley Do Nothings Hits The Road … To Do Nothing.

Screen Shot 2020-06-27 at 10.20.30 pm

Seriously this woman has got more brazen cheek than Gina Rinehart in a bikini.

Read this brief story, spend 1.58secs to listen to Year 6 social studies lecture, then answer these four questions:

  1. What the fuck has this all this got to do with TEL?
  2. What will be achieved on what is basically a ratepayer funded jolly out to Mt Isa, (which just so happens to be Patricia O’Callaghan’s home town)?
  3. What did TEL do in relation to Ravenswood Gold re-opening and re-investing in this venture, to merit a trip to annoy the management there?
  4. What will Ms O’Callaghan offer her ‘membership’ – which includes the ratepayers of Townsville – some sort of report to act as a clue to the trip’s KPIs?

There is no need to furrow the brow and chew the pencil looking for answers … one word will suffice for all three questions … NOTHING. Actually make that three words: ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING.

You’re being conned in open sight, TEL members, but snooze on, folks, it’s only your money.

Will They Or Won’t They?

From comments during the week.

The Magpie
4,270 approved
Submitted on 2020/06/24 at 9:36 amGiven that the Townsville Bulletin is much given to detailing the number of job losses in various businesses around town, when can we expect to see what ‘downsizing’ has done to the staff of the paper?Job losses Screen Shot 2020-06-18 at 9.41.37 am

Short answer, they won’t.

The Magpie Can Fly, Why Can’t They

During the week, The Magpie received some online buckshot when he published this pic, with the advice “Four simple steps these three could take to solve many Townsville problems. Just four steps … backwards.’ .

Scott, Harper, O'Rourke Screen Shot 2020-06-23 at 10.30.45 am

Remember This Gal?

iAnita Phillipss

That’s Anita Phillips, former member for Thuringowa, elected when she knocked of One-Nation-turned independent Ken Turner. But Labor hubris knows no bounds, and refusing to recognize that Turner was a sitting duck for anybody, our Anita actually resigned the state seat for the political suicide of taking Prince Peter of Lindsay, the Laird of Herbert. Lindsay soundly trounced her to retain the federal seat of Herbert. Madam promptly packed her carpetbag and buggered off back to Canberra as a highly cushioned public servant.

This all came back to The ‘Pie when he noted during the week, that Melbourne-born and Canberra resident Phillips has just been appointed for a further 2 years to the Sunshine Coast Hospital and Health Board. Her background is social studies and an arts degree, so just why she needed to be imported for this gig is mystifying … that is, if you don’t understand how political  rorts and feather-bedding  operates. In this case to the tune of about $45k p.a, handy for her as a 75-year-old pensioner.

The Magpie was slightly (ha!) critical in the Bulletin of Ms Phillips when she stood for Herbert in 2004, and certain colleagues suggested The’Pie had a hand in her downfall. He doesn’t agree, Prince Peter was going to get in by a mile anyway, but the old bird shyly accepted this as a memento from colleagues.

Anita Phillips hat mage001

Still got it, but don’t wear it often nowadays…used to play golf in it but I kept hooking the ball to the left.

Laughing In Isolation

Amid the privations of the lock down, a strain of humour arose as a way of coping. The ‘Pie presents a small collection.

image007 image011 image008 image010 image003 image002

A New Moniker For The Tangerine Terrorist.

The ‘Pie is always pleased when it comes to acknowledging other people’s brilliance – because it means he can pinch their stuff while praising them, neat eh? – and he was tickled doona-ish pink when he noted someone online referred to The Trumpet as the ‘Trumpanzee’. But the bloke who really nails him continues to be Andy Borowitz in The New Yorker – proving brevity is the soul of wit. He again leads off this week’s gallery of inanity, the first is my all time fav for inverting a topical fact.

Trump in labScreen Shot 2020-06-24 at 10.10.08 am

Screen Shot 2020-06-27 at 9.50.57 am Screen Shot 2020-06-27 at 9.51.16 am 0-1_8 240585_rgb_768 cb061920dapr Brendan Loper in The New YorkerA24393 240621_rgb_768 tt200623 062220rallyr 240605_rgb_768 240647_rgb_768 jd062420dapr lk062520dapr 240704_rgb_768 240786_rgb_768And A Racist Joke To End On



That’s our lot for another week, as always, comments are there for you to partake of or join in 24/7. Funny ya know, the donate button keeps the same hours, should you wake in the early hours filled with guilt about not supporting your favourite blog. Go on, you know you’ll feel better.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. upagumtreeperson says:

    Another great post Magpie. Magpie for president!

    • The Magpie says:

      of what?

      • I’ll be plucked says:

        The Sydney Swans Pie – they need you at the mo!

        • The Magpie says:

          They sure as hell need something … hope Buddy will be back soon, but one man a team does not make.
          And while The ‘Pie tends to discourage pointless endless sports waffle (i.e. all talk about sport) he will venture this. The NRL re-set of tackles on the run rule is the single best rule change of any code, with an immediate beneficial effect on the fast flow and spectacle of the game. But it seems pretty sure that changes to the number of replacements and their frequency may also have to be considered.

          That’s it … no correspondence will be entered into, as they say.

      • upagumtreeperson says:

        Magpie you would out-Trump every time . What you say is sensible unlike the US Pres. Politics needs thinkers and doers like you magpie.

  2. Footy fan says:

    The Sunday Snail reports that the crowd at Saturday’s Cowboys game was 1853.
    They were allowed 2000 so it looks like some of the many sponsors who got tickets didn’t bother turning up.

    • The Magpie says:

      Not sure why it’s suddenly open season on sponsors. Why do you assume that it was sponsors who didn’t turn up?

  3. Old Tradesman says:

    Townsville has scored a new prize for regional Queensland, 49 vacant shopfronts in the CBD, but I think it is only one side of the street. Well done Jenny and the 3 dropkicks.

  4. Tenacious D says:

    Hi Pie

    Very interesting news regarding the old transit centre, I have spent the best part of the last 7 months completely rewiring the whole place, new mains switchboards lighting etc, but not the final fit out downstairs. Electrically it has had north of $600K spent, and a whole lot more on other trades, safe in the knowledge that the council will be the anchor tenant.

    Surely someone signed something before someone decided to spend a small fortune polishing this turd?

    Still over $100K for landscaping and car-park to come!

  5. I’ll be plucked says:

    So, there is a ‘suggestion’ roaming around town at the moment that Lil Pattie from TEL, will be the eventual CEO of TCC. Maybe this time, if not, definitely next time. She is being groomed and of course has been self-grooming for sometime now.

    • The Magpie says:

      Not sure that that will come about. From what The ‘Pie knows of the public service requirements on background, proven ability to manage any organisation let alone a billion dollar corporation which TCC which in essence is, is supposed to be a prerequisite for a council CEO (please note ‘supposed”). Stepping into a half million a year approx. plus perks will take more than the sterile, totally obscure performance of TEL under her hand … hard as it is to say, even Adele Young had runs on the board in the necessary chicanery needed for that particular position. The position is required to be openly advertised, so there can be no cosy cost-cutting deal similar to the way O’Callaghan became TEL CEO (way cheaper than Kippen).

      • Game of Mates says:

        Prins is still odds on for the CEO gig.

        • The Magpie says:

          That would surely be sus … Ralston gives the impression his Nous group is killin’ ‘em in the market and he’d be taking a massive financial dive to become CEO … and a very restrictive gig for a bloke who loves the main chance.

    • CEO of Crap says:

      Little Pattie won’t have the financial background or qualifications.

      • The Magpie says:

        Certainly true, but would that make any difference under this regime? The Impaler was brought in for a specific task requiring her unflinching head-kicking skills, but as far as The ‘Pie has been able to ascertain, she did not meet those required standards you mention either.

        • CEO of Crap says:

          I’d say her MBA and BLaw would have gotten her in the door elsewhere in the past and experience built from there.

          • Cantankerous but happy says:

            Don’t forget that whiny nasally irritating voice, that must open a few doors as they all seem to have one down at the Dudley’s.

  6. Mike Douglas says:

    Another great blog pie and let’s see what the Mullet has in her bag of tricks when she hands down T.C.C.s budget tomorrow . Interesting timing of Newscorps Sunday Mail article on the poor plight of regional towns two days after the final mastheads of their printed regional papers , Ingham , Ayr , Burdekin, Mackay and so many others finished last Friday and lots of locals lost their jobs . From the Chairman of T.C.C.s planning committee , ex deputy mayor Les Walker committing to work closely with developers to maximise the benefit of the stimulus creating a “ boom “ ? in land sales . This is the same Council managing the delayed Tobruk Pool upgrade , strand water fun park closed . Rumour has it if it wasn’t for lobbying by tourist operators the Rockpool would still be closed as well all over school holidays .

  7. Old Tradesman says:

    Circa AD100 a Roman called Juvenal had a quote, “Panem et Circenses”, (Bread and Circuses), which is aptly applied to Townsville as it no longer cares for it’s historical birthright of political involvement.
    From now until October we will be bombarded by the useless 3 hill dwellers and their masters in the south east of the state with views of the stadium, the house of excellence, the stadium, followed by the stadium, which would not have happened if the Feds had not thrown in $100m, and to add to that The $7m LED trees but nothing of any infrastructure substance like dams and cheaper reliable power supplies that might actually provide real local jobs.

    • The Magpie says:

      As the old saying has, Tradesman, if you want an argument, change the subject. Right on all scores.

    • CEO of Crap says:

      We have LED trees???

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        We will have, and whilst it won’t be Gardens by the bay in Singapore as some tosser referenced in the original release I do think it will be something of interest, and combined with the option of misting water throughout will be something different anyway.

  8. NQ Gal says:

    I hope the owners of the Transit Centre had an iron clad leasing agreement with TCC. They have put a lot of money into modifying the building to suit the Council’s requirements.

  9. The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

    Pondering Council’s generous rent holiday for those who rent/lease Council buildings and wondering if the list were perused it would only be a short list of Mullet mates like Carey Ramm of AEC?

    I haven’t undertaken this exercise as it’s not information I have at hand, but someone in this e-steamed group should know which buildings are leased to whom.

    It would be a double-whammy if ratepayers money was being used to prop up those who support the Martyr.

    • The Magpie says:

      Not a chance. Even this council isn’t that dumb in inviting expensive lawsuits and exposure of cronyism and corruption. If a business pays rent to the council, then it’s are entitled to this benefit, no matter who they are. Besides, the letter clearly states ‘our lessees’ – any favouritism would therefore be undeniable corruption. Bit of a over-reach there, mate.

  10. Tropical says:

    Does the 7.7 million people who watched the Trump rally on TV count or with your Trump Derangement Syndrome are they are to be ignored, so you can continue your weekly deranged Trump hate rants?

    • The Magpie says:

      There appears to be a bit of ambiguity in your language, Troppo. You ask can they count? Those who are Trump supporters, probably not. And you, in your delirium of Trumpanzee adoration, make a totally false suggestion that all 7.7 million viewers were all Trump supporters … be surprised if less than half were there to monitor what foaming lunacy your lad would come up with (he didn’t disappoint). And finally, should 7.7 million in a population of 350 million be ignored? Of course not, compassion and assistance for the afflicted should be the touchstone of any democracy, although your hero is feverishly rewriting the book on that one. Now back to banjo strumming and stop annoying the grown-ups on this blog.

    • Sleepy Joe says:

      Sub-Tropical, if you think the Orange Man is a fit and able person to hold office then you are as deluded as half of the American population. The USA has become a freak show, a circus full of clowns. It’s a fucking embarrassment. Their politicians are deluded shysters who have completely lost sense of all reality. Someone should put them all in Hollywood where they belong – in fantasy and pretend land.

  11. One legged tap dancer says:

    Huge turnaround in attitude by the Cowboys on Saturday after copping a tsunami of criticism from the fans last week.
    Perhaps the coach should donate his salary for the week to the critics. After all, their stinging rebukes finally got the players motivated – not his coaching.
    The question now is – do the fans have to give them a spray every week to keep their mind on the job?

    • The Magpie says:

      Wonder how we would go … in fact how the NRL or the AFL for matter would go … if they introduced a winning bonus system? Cut player pay base by say 70%, and make that up to 100% for the win pro rata, with losers getting 35% for a loss. And before the season, all clubs commit to say 3% of their allowable salary cap into a pool, to be shared out among the premiers the losing side 60-40 as a grand final bonus.

      Would certainly stop all this luvvy luvvy, bum patting when some oaf drops the ball, and produce some delightful moments of impromptu character readings for the on-field mics to pick up.

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        I am now thinking of the Roman gladiatoial arena.

        All on the field of play (so to speak) all were highly motivated. I am sure this ancient practice can be effectively adapted to the NRL in these slightly gentler times.

      • CEO of Crap says:

        I agree. Your suggestion is similar to the one I made under a previous topic – ‘no win, no pay’. I can see it know, “fullback Jimmy drops the ball, fellow team mate font rower Ronny races up and shoulder charges him screaming about how his wife won’t be getting her new Range Rover”.

  12. Fart beneath the doona says:

    I’m looking forward to analysing Councils 2020/21 fudgeit, it should be an interesting read. The proverbial glitter coated turd comes to mind. The devil is always in the detail. No doubt NMD/Not the Equine Flu will be defending Major Hill and any criticism of the fudgeit she signed off on. Beer and popcorn time!

    • Not the ECQ says:

      As a fart beneath the pink doona I think you get to be first cab off the rank in critiquing the mayor’s budget. Question though, how do you hold on to a stubbie and popcorn?

  13. Dave of Kelso says:

    I have always maintained that those coming to live in this country speak and read English, and this is one reason why.


    If you cannot read and speak the local language you cannot fully be part of the community.

    • The Magpie says:

      Well, that knocks out about 80% of migrants from 1950 on, and certainly those who built the Snowy Scheme. The ‘Pie disagrees with that suggestion, on two grounds: no one foresaw the language problems that CV might present – language being just one of them – and the other reason is that the emphasis was originally on people who are willing to learn the language and assimilate, rather than congregate in ethno-religious communities that are often hostile to the mainstream society.

      • Not the ECQ says:

        Also, refugees are a completely different kettle of fish compared to ‘migrants’. Many of the thousands of refugees coming to Australia arrive with nothing, maybe not even knowing where they are going to end up. It’s a bit rich to expect refugees to learn the language and ‘assimilate’ quickly, silently and inconspicuously if they have already spent years being pushed around from pillar to post including by our own government.

        • The Magpie says:

          Quite true, and being persecuted in their own country, they would be ever more insistent in preserving the culture they have had taken from them. While that creates some challenge to assimilation, generational change may see a better outcome, as it is with the earlier wave of migrants.

        • Rowdy says:

          Many of the migrants in the 50’s and 60’s arrived with nothing as well. Got sprayed with DDT at the port of entry to Australia. They worked hard all of their lives.

  14. Not the ECQ says:

    Anyone hanging out for an official report on Jenny Hill’s car accident might like to consider this release from Monday:

    “This morning the Northern Coroner handed down her findings into the tragic death of Mr Taare Rangi in the adult acute mental health inpatient unit at the Townsville University Hospital on 7 July 2018.”

    Two years for a Coroner’s findings. We will have to be very patient.

    • The Magpie says:

      That is surely a false comparison, Ecca. Such an instance would be far more complex and involve many competing medical technicalities along with the practical questions of how when and why. And the coroner would have to familiarise his/her knowledge of difficult management and behavioural protocols. Jenny Hill’s fatal crash does not include such complexities. There is also the other aspect that as the leader of this city, Mrs Hill is quite rightly held to a higher standard of behaviour and probity in all public matters, and this is certainly in that category. What The ‘Pie finds surprising is that with the anecdotal indication that the mayor is not at fault (at least major fault, otherwise she would not be still driving, which we presume she is), that she herself has not pressed for at least a preliminary statement from the forensic folk to stop the chatter … and not just here on this blog. Mooney criminal behaviour and avoidance of the law through political cronyism is well remembered, and she would know that and not want to be incorrectly tarred with the same brush of front bar/dinner party criminality as Mooney.

      Or is the well established Hill arrogance yet again giving the electorate the finger?

      • Not the ECQ says:

        I suspect it has something to do with the separation of powers – and that’s always an intriguing subject in Queensland. It would be completely inappropriate for the mayor (or anyone else) to say to the Coroner, “look, I’m a very important person, I need a preliminary statement clearing me of responsibility”. It won’t happen.

        • The Magpie says:

          he should be saying it the police … at the highest level.

        • Grumpy says:

          I can tell you from personal experience that the separation of powers is a concept which, to this day, some of our politicians find hard to grasp.

  15. Alahazbin says:

    TCC Buget for the analysts on here.

    • The Magpie says:

      Good man/woman/other, thanks.

      • Not the ECQ says:

        Mr Magpie, you will be thrilled to discover that your particular bitch has come in for a specific mention:

        “Further to that, we will retain the 10% general rate discount for early payments which historically has been taken up by the majority of Townsville ratepayers and equates to over $13 million staying in the pockets of ratepayers.”

        See, $13 million staying in our pockets. It’s a miracle.

        • The Magpie says:

          Yeah, well, that is correct … because it means the ‘majority’ (note the vagueness of that word right next to a specific number i.e $13million) wish to avoid being fined for late payment, which as you point out, The ‘Pie has revealed as the case. Nothing wrong either way in terms of fairness, people are obligated to be timely with their rates, but ya just gotta luv the ‘feel good’ spin of ‘early payment discount’ as versus ‘late payment fines’.

        • CEO of Crap says:

          The 10% discount is smoke and mirrors. The discount amount is the real amount. Then there is a higher penalty rate if paid after the due date.

          • The Magpie says:

            As The Magpie has been pointing out at least twice a year for the past 10 years.

  16. Achilles says:

    Bugit indeed, or de-bug it?

  17. Notthe ECPoo says:

    True to form, ECPoo strikes with a couple
    of posts angling toward supporting Mayor Mullet Hill. One can only assume that ECPoo, who is such a big fan of such a useless mob of politicians, has benefited richly by being ‘involved’ with Townsville Councillors over the years.

  18. Cantankerous but happy says:

    What a nation of negative bastards Australia is, despite our economy performing well during Covid19 our headlines in Australia today focused on how much the ASX was down for the year , “ worst year since 2012” was a common theme, but in the USA which is copping it much worse the headlines today focused on the fact the Dow has just had its best quarter since 1987. Australia too had a 20% rise in the ASX in the last quarter, not a word of it anywhere, just a pack of whingers.

    • Jamie Dimon says:

      Cantankerous, you aren’t serious are you mate? The markets are a rigged game, always have been. Price fluctuations are dependent upon which metal/resource/commodity they want to manipulate. Unless you are part of the 1% and a member Wall Streets white shoe brigade it’s a mugs game. It’s all smoke and mirrors, just like Mayor Mullets team of turd polishers on Walker Street. What goes on on Wall Street even affects us here in Townsville. These parasites have fucked our globe and the other 99% of us.

  19. Critical says:

    Browsing through council websites today and found the best example of transparency around council meetings yet.
    The Douglas Shire Council provides a copy of the full Council Officer report to Council with the actual Council Meeting Minutes so that the community can actually see the information that was provided to Councillors to assist them in making a decision on each individual meeting agenda item. Eebsite link is below
    This report also unmasks the identity of the individual Council Officers making the recommendations to Counil.

    How about implimenting this practice in Townsville Jenny as one small step towards increasing the accountability and transparency of your Council.


    Jenny’s keepers and some Council staff have just read this post and are now gasping for air in horror of such a practice being implemented by TCC.

    • The Hills have eyes says:

      Well said Critical. And that is a very valid point. If there are no secrets, nothing to hide, nothing untoward or dodgy then why not be totally transparent? Councillors are ‘public servants’. By definition that means
      “one that serves others a public servant especially : one that performs duties about the person or home of a master or personal employer”. We the tax and rate payers are the employer. We pay YOU to perform a service on OUR behalf. You have no right to cover things up, to be secretive, to not disclose, to not be transparent, to obsfucate, to lie or to deceive. The sooner these clowns realise that the better.

    • NQ Gal says:

      Also on the transparency bandwagon is the Ipswich City Council.


      It must make fascinating reading for the long suffering rate payers of that town to see the dodgy dealings of the former mayors who are currently staying at Her Majesty’s Hilton.

  20. Alahazbin says:

    The Astonisher is catching up with this blog.
    Page 14 today: “Vote for your top mullet” and
    “Don’t miss the chance to vote for your favourite mullet and give them the recognition they deserve”
    There is only one mullet and we have been giving her all the recognition she deserves.

    • The Magpie says:

      So very true, Ala, so true. So since the Astonisher tends to follow trends and suggestions in this blog, today The ‘Pie tips them off that he is considering running Townsville’s Best Designed Brazilian poll.

      • Lord Howard Hertz says:

        Damn it, ‘Pie, you got in before me. ‘Top Mullet’? More interesting if they sought votes on … ahem … the lower mullet, no?

  21. The Magpie says:

    Made The ‘Pie’s day, this did. And note the time this was posted, then see how long it takes to appear on any ‘we’re for you’ website.

    • Not the ECQ says:

      The New Daily reported word from the ex-Astonisher now Daily Telegraph editor: “While we respect the findings of the Full Court, the Rush case exposes the inadequacies of Australia’s defamation laws,” editor Ben English said. I have no idea what he’s talking about. Do you?

      • The Magpie says:

        Inadequacies? Doesn’t make sense, but then that’s News Ltd and language. Presumably he means that the laws have not offered protection to his cowboy approach to smearing people in the Tele, too bad so sad. The ‘Pie has decided not to indulge in too much bubbly toasting Rush’s win, but will take one of these special chill pill instead.

  22. The Magpie says:

    As versus??? In how many varieties do washed up bodies come in?

    • Buggered of Bushland Beach says:

      Well, dunno about that, your Pieness, I’m still alive but the missus reckons my body is all washed up.

    • The Magpie says:

      The juvenile dumbing down of the News Ltd readership couldn’t be more complete than the ‘warning’ at the bottom of this click-bait headline.

      How many will suddenly get the shakes and say to themselves ‘Crumbs, better not read that to the kiddies.’

      Apart from being somewhat obvious in the text, this warning message is the latest assault from the touchy feely industry BECAUSE THE VERY NATURE OF POLICE AND COURT NEWS IS DISTRESSING. WE DON’T NEED TO BE PATRONISED, WE’RE ADULTS. Unlike the social engineering goofs who write this shit.

    • The Boog says:

      Vote for Townsville’s top ten bodies

  23. The Magpie says:

    At last … err, maybe, we’ve thought that before – at least 20 times in the past couple of years.

  24. The Magpie says:

    Anybody care to enlighten us on WTF this means in English? The lower text doesn’t help, in fact is even more mystifying.

  25. Mike Douglas says:

    Another regional Council, another waste of $285k in ratepayers money . Tablelands Regional Council set up TRCE pty Ltd in May 2018 and a Ceo on $140k appointed . Nearly 2 years later the Ceo resigned and some Council staff believe it was a sham organization that delivered no useful or practical outcomes . Council are having problems tracing TRCE paperwork . Sound familiar ? .

  26. Budget paper says:

    Interested to see the mayor in her speach on budget still complained about federal government not coughing up the money to complete stage 2 of pipeline. I understand that the federal government gave in kind a large amount of GST deferments to help TCC pay for the line instead of actual cash. So what happened to the money saved from not having to pay GST? Not ECQ can ask jenny at next tea party Skype hook up?

    • The Magpie says:

      That is a very serious situation, but can we have some links for documentary proof of what you say, please. No doubting, just asking.

      • Budget paper says:

        The only person who can give you a definitive answer is phil Thompson. Not trying to dodge your question to me but any documents would be with the federal government of that nature. Im more then happy to ask for something from where i got the info from. I can safely say it wasnt talking to someone down the local after some pots. (Covid 19) it was meant to help the process along because TCC had control over the pipeline so the feds being smart said that instead of handing over so much money in one go, or several, a GST deferment would allow money from council to be used towards the project. Otherwise TCC had to borrow money until funding became available. Its more of a timing issue why it was done. In a way im hopeing im wrong because that means millions have be spent elsewhere in the city. I can only point out one area of major development in last 18mths. Crabpot??

        • The Magpie says:

          Mate, sorry, but that’s just not believable. The Feds would not deal directly with this or any other council, GST goes into state coffers, and as far as anyone knows, deals that bypass Brisbane can’t and aren’t made. And Federal Treasury is in charge of GST, not the government. Cannot imagine who your source could be, who would have access to such documentation, if any such existed?

      • Not the ECQ says:

        Well I am doubting. Never heard of this “GST” deal. Did you make it up or do you have a different definition of ‘understanding’ from other English speakers?

        • Ali Baba says:

          And just as a fly to a turd, Not The ECQ jumps in with a pithy comment in a roundabout defence of its beloved Mayor Hill. Now I’m not sure if ‘Budget Paper’ has all the information correct, but I support the fact that where there is smoke there is fire. Or in TCC’s case, where there is steam there is a turd! Something doesn’t add up with the pipeline deal. ‘Budget Paper’ is onto something here. Maybe ‘Not the ECQ’ could ask it’s bestie, the Mayor, for some paperwork to be handed over which confirms that the pipeline financing deal is all above aboard?

          • Not the ECQ says:

            Christ almighty, Ali. Mum taken your toys or something? This mystery started with Budget Toilet Paper claiming to understand that the federal government gave in kind a large amount of GST deferments to help TCC pay for the [Haughton Stage2 pipe] line instead of actual cash. I say that’s complete bollocks, there’s no evidence and no paper trail so how could it happen? Toilet Paper has left the room, looking flushed no doubt. You should follow. You haven’t got a clue.

          • The Magpie says:

            The ‘Pie repeats, and always open to correction, there is no mechanism ever the empowers the Federal Treasury, which controls GST, to do GST ‘deals’ with anyone, and certainly not pissant little organisations like regional councils.

  27. Joshua Roberts says:

    Thank you for sharing the news that Smart Precinct was not coming on board at the Townsville Transit Centre.

    I am the owner/operator of Co. Habitat, the Townsville shared office space that started on the half level of the centre but this month relocated to the top floor.

    This means, our local start up business, without assistance from the TCC has expanded 400% in less than 2 years to provide better and more services to Townsville business of any size.

    Our goal is to help grow an active community of businesses, provide affordable and flexible office opportunities for those working from home, travelling to town, or just needed office/desk space without the need for a full commercial lease and everything that goes with it.

    We are, at least in our eyes, a local successful start up business in an industry TCC can not fully comprehend.

  28. Gunnery Sgt Carter says:

    7 local news this evening: Gomer (the member for Herbert) wants more Pyles (Grunts/Private’s) in Townsville with the military expansion/new base announced by Scottie Scomo from marketing yesterday!

    Be careful what you wish for, does target with a capital ‘T’ ring any bells?

    • The Magpie says:

      Unknot the camouflage knickers, Sarge, we’re already on that list with the biggest base in Australia already.

    • Round-eyed in wonder says:

      Guns, what makes you think that we are not a first-strike target already? The Chinese are busily setting up military bases in the Solomon Islands – some 1800 km from Townsville and Cairns military bases. Their latest cruise missiles could be here in a little over 30 minutes. We have no effective EWS, so the first we will know about it would be when Jenny Hill looks up from her desk and says, “What the fuck was that noise?”

      • Ali Baba says:

        We actually are a first-strike target mate. We have facilities in Australia that would pick up on a launch against the USA before the USA picked it up. That equipment is shared infrastructure hence it ties us in closely with the United States. That in itself makes us a target worthy of knocking out before a strike was launched against the Orange Man’s country.

        • The Magpie says:

          You’re correct but think the previous comments were about Townsville being a target. Can just see the headlines now: Townsville Nuked: attack causes $10billion worth of improvements.

          • Lord Howard Hertz says:

            …and Patricia O’Callaghan announces that TEL was the main negotiator with the Chinese military, and claims it as a win for TEL. Mayor Mullet said there is much recovery work to now be done. She told the Bulletin that from now on, she would be working from her home …. in Malta.

  29. Strand Ghost says:

    The only reason that the cost of repairs is down on the Bail house’s is they are not there most of the time, they are out breaking into homes or stealing cars most of the time.

    • The Magpie says:

      Is that what the story is? You surely didn’t gather that from the headline and brief text, which was the point of the original comment.

  30. Cantankerous but happy says:

    The irony of Craig Stacks supposed concern about massive rate rises to some shopping centres in Townsville, what he would be more worried about is the backlash from owners and tenants that he donated money to the Mullets campaign, brainless dickhead, I hope they abuse the shit out of him.

  31. Not the ECQ says:

    Mr Magpie, I don’t usually find my way into the Townsville Bulletin but somehow it happened online today and I discovered that the Queensland CCC has finally revealed its views about Qld ministers Grace Grace and Jackie Trad on the subject of the appointment of that school principal in Brisbane. Your regular correspondent Alahazbin should have been all over this subject but they seem to have lost their typing hand. The Astonisher reported:

    “Queensland Education Minister Grace Grace has responded to being cleared of wrongdoing after an investigation into her department’s handling of the appointment of a Brisbane high school principal.

    This comes on the back of yesterday’s Crime and Corruption Commission’s finding that also cleared former Queensland deputy premier Jackie Trad of corruption and misconduct.

    Ms Grace said while the CCC report did clear her name, it also uncovered “concerning and disappointing” actions by a small number of people working within the education department.”

    So Trad is cleared. No misconduct. She will now turn out to be Labor’s biggest weapon against Deb20. Because she is no mug – unlike the LNP dingbats who tried to do her, and Deb20, over. What fucken klutzs. Couldn’t run a fucken bath.

    • Grumpy says:

      Is there a Westminster tradition where Ministers fall on their sword and resign when their department is found to be lacking, regardless of whether they are personally implicated or not? Was it not found that Trad Sneers should never have had that meeting? Instead, she played the race card as a diversion. Grace should have immediately gone to the back bench, rather fingering some poor bastard in her department for the fall.

      What price honour? What price dignity?

      • Not the ECQ says:

        Grumpy you ask about whether there is a Westminster tradition. I suspect that there was once, in Westminster. It doesn’t seem to have been practiced there or here for some time, at any level of government, in any party.

    • Ali Baba says:

      ECQ, you must be so happy and proud of your beloved Labor friends. Who could have ever doubted Trad’s integrity, goodness gracious. You really adore your role models don’t you? Do you really think that an ‘all clear’ from the CCC means that the voters want her back in for another term? Ha ha. You idiot! Many a politician has sidestepped the anti-corruption police. You just need to ensure you leave no bread crumbs. Jackie is innocent! Who fucking cares! Labor are still a toxic cancerous lesion that need to be lanced of Queensland’s back. Send her, Nanna Anna, Beattie and any other one of these Labor parasites to NSW to work with that other arrogant stooge Captain Anna Bligh….

    • Alahazbin says:

      NECQ. You obviously didn’t listen to the CCC head in his summing up. She was cleared, but there is a definite stench in the air. Just like the CCR debacle, she was cleared of any wrong doing, but the government introduced laws with jail terms if something like that happens again. Go figure!

      • Not the ECQ says:

        Alahazbin if it’s so obvious why do you point it out to me? I told you I read the Astonisher article so of course I didn’t listen to the CCC head in his summing up. Not that it matters. The record will show that Trad was exonerated or whatever the latest weasel words are. In any case, Trad won’t be bested in her electorate by some LNP twit because they just aren’t good enough. I doubt now whether Deb20 can get up no matter what Palaszczuk does or says. As I wrote earlier the LNP couldn’t run a bath and nothing you whine and whinge about will help them. Pathetic driveller.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Read the whole report ECQ? Perhaps you missed this bit “ A discussion of the politicisation of the public service is outside the scope of this report”

      • Not the ECQ says:

        Cantankerous I did not read any of ‘the report’ – I read bits of the Astonisher article. A discussion of the politicisation of the public service is like telling me it is dark at night. Or that the Cowboys have work to do. Are you campaigning for Palmer still?

  32. I’ll be plucked says:

    7 LOCAL News leads with the AFL relocating to Qld. WTF? They are basing on the Gold and Sunshine Coasts. Pluck me, slow day in the NORTH you peanuts???

  33. I’ll be plucked says:

    Private Cupcake (The state ‘member‘ for Townsville continues to speak faeces – 7 local news this evening ‘When it comes to child safety no child will be left behind’ – sound familiar anyone??? Cupcake, you are a complete FOOL and a massive embarrassment to our community! What a cretin! Pluck off and don’t come back!

    • The Magpie says:

      Labor folk love to quote former idols, whethervthere quote came to fruition or not … echoes nof the Silber Bodgie around 1987 at the comrades Sydney knees, when he declred that ‘no child will in poverty in Australia by 1990.’ Might have the timings wrong, but the basis is correct.

  34. Old Tradesman says:

    I see that the Townsville Hospital is today advertising for an (External Member) for the Board Finance Committee, applications closing on the 10 July, I wonder if the position has been already filled?

  35. Mundingbird says:

    Pie,a bit off topic sorry.
    You may have seen the article TB 27/6 about the proposed development @ 82-88 Ross River Rd , 16 units,2 storey ‘Social Housing’. This covers the elderly,mentally affected,single mothers and all others who have issues?or cannot afford the rental market,as told by the office staff of one of our fearless three . She was too busy.
    Whilst I am all for helping those in need,maybe a better location,ie Pimlico TAFE Campus or where there already is other similar accommodation,without turning a nice suburb into the Bronx,or another Vincent.
    This is not a case of NIMBY either.
    The Doona is all for it,as it will create jobs she twortled.
    Well they are already off to a flying start,the company that demolished the existing dumps was from out of town.

    Public Meeting Tuesday 7/7 9:30am on site with Phillip Thompson MP.

    Any other developer,well most,would have to put signs up advising of the scope of works etc etc,and allow Public consultation.
    Not the Department of Housing,just march to the beat of their own drum.

    • The Magpie says:

      Twortled?” Love it , a perfect invented word for our mayor, yes, she twortles.

    • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

      “This is not a case of NIMBY”

      That’s exactly what it is, you’re arguing that this development should not be built in your backyard!

      Ross River Road is a busy six lane thoroughfare. A small social housing complex isn’t going to be detrimental to the suburb any more than the road already is.

      • Achilles says:

        A great chance for a display of your selfless magnanimity; use your profound persuasive skills to petition the TCC to construct this “development” in Belgian Gdns.
        Then you can share the same equality as the denizens of Aitkenvale already have with the “social engineering” of the Parole/Bail-Jumpers who frequent Stockland and surrounding streets.

Post a Comment

The Magpie encourages all to take part in the discussion and let their voice be heard.
In order to post a comment, you must provide a name. While you don't have to use your real name, it should be something unique so users can identify you in the discussion. Generic names like “Anonymous” will likely result in your comment being ignored.
Let the discussion begin!

Current ye@r *

Countdown until the next council election:

-184Days -15 -8 -35