An ex-mayor to go for state? With Rosemary The Iron Maiden Menkens heading for a gently rusting retirement, a curious race is taking shape in the Burdekin.

Fevered whispers about a new face could be fronting up for the Townsville Council race in 2016, and perhaps even have a tilt at the mayoralty; The ‘Pie investigates the Brady Hunch.

Also, Steggles Egg On Face Award goes to the Astonisher’s front-page fib fest during the week; and you asked for it … The ‘Pie gives his version of what a Townsville Tourism TV ad campaign should look like … are you curious, Townsville,? Then read on.

But first, we look at a debate we’ll have to have sooner or later … should the user pays principle apply to the new Townsville Council you-beaut boat park on Ross River?

Bentley, our resident ‘toonist and a boating man par excellence himself, puts down his personal marker buoy to kick start the conversation.

This one has a way to run yet, but for The ‘Pie, the bottom line is always the same … great idea if it doesn’t involve the financial support requiring a rate rise. This issue could cause some deep angst in the ranks of the Townsville First mob. This one’s under close watch.

A touch further south, Rosemary Menkens is calling it a day, and won’t contest the next state election for the LNP in the seat of Burdekin.

So you can bet the ALP’s Les Walker has bought an extra tube of Brylcream, a bottle of Old Spice and a new pair of Hush Puppies. Everything points to his having another tilt at the Burdekin again, although losing comprehensively to The Iron Maiden in 2004.

That was in a three horse race, so Les was still licking his wounds the next couple of elections, and managed to scrap into a gig on the TCC last time around. But with Rosie’s resignation widely tipped, he started a very noticeable campaign over the last year. With an unquestioning Townsville Bulletin spruiking his every move, Councillor Messagebank suddenly started rabbiting on portentiously about all sorts of state matters. He rarely ventured into council matters that were his direct concern, and he also tidied up his personal grooming to the point of giggling comment around town.

If the ALP will give him the nod, he has nothing to lose, since he just takes time off from his council gig – where he basically does bugger all anyway, it was ever thus – and re-boards that gravy train if he loses.

But who would he face? Rosie would most certainly have retained her seat if she soldiered on, but whether her strong legacy …

.

… will be passed on to her successor will depend on a variety of issues.

Well, it’s been breathily breathed down the MagpieFone that Rosie has been trying to convince former Burdekin mayor Lyn McLaughlin to have a canter, an idea it is said Ms McLaughlin is yet to fully warm to, although she apparently hasn’t rejected the notion outright. Ms McLaughlin has indicated she’s lining up to run for mayor again in 2016, but a tilt at state should not do her any harm, and may in fact be a valuable indicator for her even if she loses.

An LNP insider suggests at this time, there’s no other hopefuls jumping up and down like an incontinent school kids at the back of the classroom (although that imagery makes one wonder if reporter Anthony Simpleton might not have a go).

For the record, it works like this.

Pre-selection of  candidates will be announced shortly, maybe in six weeks or so, and if there is only one nominee within the given timeframe, Brisbane head office will do all the necessary blowtorch interrogation to check if said person’s background is tickety-boo. If there’s more than one, then the usual local committee of hairy-nostriled blokes and Big W frocked women will operate the electrified nipple clamps is a quest for a candidate with the right background.

Whichever, they’d better hurry up, and The ‘Pie suspects his informant hasn’t been completely open with him, and something is already in train … a dedicated team player like Rosie Menkens doesn’t just suddenly get up one day and say ‘Golly, what a nice day to resign, I think I’ll call it quits today.’

Much fun ahead.

A name that may be bobbing in local government circles soon is this bloke ….

… one Pat Brady, chairman of the Port of Townsville Authority.

For reasons unknown to The ‘Pie, several people have been mentioning his name in connection with local politics. All suggest he is a well credentialled engineer and a likeable bloke. The ‘Pie has never met or spoken to Mr Brady, but one would have to question whether there is anything in it, since he looks quite sane and reasonable – poor political material

The reasoning is that in the likelihood of the Port going under the hammer in an asset sale frenzy, a  board would no longer be needed (or wanted), which could leave Mr Brady with some time on his hands. So if he has a masochistic streak (really, knowingly having to engage with Simpo Templeton, fair dinkum, you’d have to relish the pain) we may be hearing more of the Brady hunch.

A quick note on the Port asset sale – ignoring the question of why you would want to give away the rights of a business that made $24 million profit last year and handed the government a $16 million dividend, a smug clever clogs during the week has announced that there won’t be any asset sales at all, no selling of the farm – because it’s all going to be just LEASED. So there, you whingers!! Too clever by half, and it’s unlikely those opposed to the sell-off will buy those sorts of cheap-shot semantics.

Moving on. The Scots say no, the hoopla is over, but some weren’t all that interested ….

On the national scene, the irrepressible Larry Pickering was back in familiar territory when he contemplated Prime Minister Wingnut’s gig annoying the locals in Arnhem Land AND Tasmaniac senator Jacqui Lambie’s claim to aboriginal heritage.

Where’s her hand headed? Please giveThe Magpie a wire brush to clean his eyes of that image.

Here’s an image that could make Astonisher Iditor Pinocchio Heywood resort to the wire brush eyeball treatment.

Taken last Monday morning in Douglas, it’s a pic of unsold Saturday Bulletins for return, the result of either over-enthusiastic ordering or reader indifference. Let you guess which. Hope they don’t count these in their next circulation figures. oh, dearie me, my goodness, no.

But that was the least of Pinocchio’s worries during the week. He and reporter Christie Anderson were caught out big time telling porkies for the sake of a childish front page headline – which was wrong anyway.

This from the blog’s comments during the week.

The Magpie September 17, 2014 at 5:30 pm  (Edit)

More front page fibbing from the Astonisher.

And yet another Astonisher reporter who should hang her head in shame.


Sam The Energiser Bunny Cox, state MP for Thuringowa is hopping mad, pissed off, outraged, towering with indignation and seething with rage at the Bulletin … well, actually, all he told The ‘Pie he was ‘disappointed’ but since he was talking about the Townsville Bulletin, it is only fitting to write it in their style.


And it would seem reporter Christie Anderson has the stark choice of being either devious, straight out dishonest, the victim of an editorial policy with which she may not agree, or just plain dopey.

And for once the ‘exclusive’ tag on the story is right … no one else would want to own such mendacious tripe.


 

In an astounding piece of manipulated reporting, Ms Anderson claimed the Qld Govt had reneged on its promise of 22 new coppers to man the almost completed Police Hub. Some mischievous person, undoubtedly a disaffected copper, has blown in her ear about officers from other police stations being seconded to the new hub. That part is true, but where Ms Anderson gets transparently stupid is when she tries to spin – without directly saying so – that Townsville will not be getting the promised extra wallopers, and we’ll be down police strength, with crucial stations being undermanned.

And that is A grade, rolled gold unmitigated flapdoodle.

Not only is that not true, BUT CHRISTIE ANDERSON KNEW IT TO BE UNTRUE BUT CHOSE TO PRINT IT – ONE CAN ONLY ASSUME – FOR THE SAKE OF A TOTALLY WRONG AND BIASED HEADLINE AND SHOCK HORROR STORY THAT GRACED THE NEWSAGENTS PLACARDS AS WELL.


In a nutshell, the truth is that yes, officers experienced in the Townsville area are being switched across to the new hub when it’s finished in a few weeks, but their former positions will be back-filled by the 22 newbies, who are not as familiar with the local lie of the land – or with the criminal habits of the little snots the hub force is tasked with nabbing.

A sensible and astute idea by all means.


And all that is exactly what Sam Cox told her when she rang him late yesterday afternoon for comment before the story was written. Ms Anderson must have had a panic attack with her pre-determined story being so comprehensively knocked on the head, and in the end, she chose to ignore Mr Cox’s information altogether. None were printed.

The Energiser Bunny is sparking with anger (yes,yes, he said only ‘disappointment’ but you know …).

He told Ms Anderson so, and he indicated to The ‘Pie that she flailed about with a lot of evasive claptrap. 
The story featured a very selective interpretation of Police Minister Jack Dempsey’s comments on the matter, in which at no time did he say the 22 new officers weren’t happening. Labor’s shadow police minister got a great run slamming the government with the same line (why wouldn’t he) and there was a lot of bland motherhood statements from, in this case, a completely irrelevant Clr Gary Eddiehausen, who didn’t address the issue except to say … sensibly and accurately … that any police taken from existing stations should be replaced.
Which they will be … and Ms Anderson knows this.

Bolstering the manipulative nature of this piece, Ms Anderson somehow avoided asking her oft-quoted contact acting Assistant Police Commissioner Paul Taylor, who could easily have given a straight yes or no to her claim.
 Mr Cox told The Magpie today that he will stake his credibility on this one, and stated unequivocally that the 22 new rozzers will be here in Townsville by Christmas, when the hub will be up and running with locally street smart Townsville veterans.


Christ, another reporter joins the list of Astonisher staff whose word simply cannot be trusted and Iditor Pinocchio Heywood lived up to his name, writing a timid, two-bob each way iditorial of support for the story, which was just as dishonest. You are meant to serve the community, not make up stories for their headline value, pal.
 And still they wonder, still they wonder …..

The Magpie September 18, 2014 at 11:47 am  (Edit)

FOLLOWING DAY UPDATE TO THE ABOVE:

Yesterday’s front page is today’s … well, seems it’s page 11, since it is directly refuting the shock/horror of yesterday’s ‘exclusive’ revelation that the govt had supposedly reneged on its promise of 22 more coppers for the ‘Ville.

It hasn’t, and a competent and ethical reporter would’ve discovered that before writing front page fibs.
 So having been caught out in a lie – EXCLUSIVELY REVEALED BY THE ‘PIE yesterday heh heh heh – today, reporter Christie Anderson did her own back-flip, and even made a hash of the that.

Her story today said in effect her story yesterday was utter bullshit, but she tried to soften her pain by putting quote marks around words like ‘eventually’.

Quoting acting Assistant Commissioner Paul Taylor, Ms Anderson also for some reason uses quote marks around ‘additional’, apparently still clinging to the forlorn hope that we’re still somehow being diddled.


But the gal’s got chutzpah, writing:
‘

‘After some confusion, the Government late yesterday said 23 additional police positions had been funded ahead of the hub opening later this year.’


The confusion was all of your making m’dear, in a vain attempt at a massive and transparent beat up .
The Magpie managed to tell the real situation, which you still try to dance around and refuse to accept responsibility for, writing enigmatic phrases clearly aimed at casting doubt on the ‘additional’ newcomers

.
Note to the Iditor Pinocchio Heywood: you’ve trained this one well, Pinocchio, she’ll go far.

Piss poor service to our community all round.

Now to that promised effort of a TV ad to be the touchstone of a campaign to attract tourists here.

Here’s the way The ‘Pie sees it, and how he woulkd ‘sell’ Townsville.

First of all, Townsville Enterprise has its tits in the wringer because it feels it has to justify the money it gets from regional councils, and so advertise just about everywhere else but Townsville itself. Now The Kipper has gone, TEL chairman Kevin Gill has admitted they have tried to be too many things to too many people (amen to that).

So here’s The ‘Pie’s rationale.

We have here in Townsville one of the most respected, liked and admired sportsmen of the modern day in Johnathan Thurston. He should be recruited to front a radio, TV and press campaign, harnessing one of his most famous personal traits … his genuine friendliness on and off the field (we’ve all noticed the pat of encouragement and thanks to kids when he’s returning the kicking tee to them, and sometimes giving his headgear to a kid in the crowd).

The campaign slogan would be ‘We’re a friendly mob up here.’

So working on that as the base premise, here’s a working script, vision on the left, voice over on the right.

VISUALS	AUDIO/SCRIPT
File vision JT patting ballboy on head when returning kicking tee to him, JT giving youngster in the crowd his headgear. CU JT on Strand with family. waving to another recognisable face (Les Hiddens, Rachel Finch Adam Brand?)	(Cheering fade down) JT: They say I’m a friendly bloke, but why wouldn’t I be, I live in Townsville.  And we’re all a friendly mob up here. C’mon up and find out for yourself.
Fade through montage of kids in the water park (big bucket tipping, kids squealing)_ seeing koala, croc, cassowary, python at Billabong Sanctuary(with grandad or grandma, to get the older age demographic in there) looking at shark and other photogenic creature in the Reef Aquarium.	You’ll quickly discover that we’re Kid Friendly …
Couple walking Strand at sunrise, people on new Jezzine boardwalk,  water skiing off the Strand ….	…. And we’re certainly fun friendly … from dawn …
JT talking to couple who’ve just come out of the Longboard Restaurant and reading a map, JT pointing with a pan up to Castle Hill. Camper van arriving with grey nomads, getting out and looking at view from Castle Hill, fade through to wildlife shot of interesting (exotic) birds, couple playing golf at Rowes Bay with wallabies lounging and hopping around the fairways	… right throughout the day ..
Red Baron, skydivers, windsurfer doing spectacular wave jump	Admittedly, we have out ups …
Snorkelling the Reef, diving the Yongala, close encounter with a fish etc	… and downs
Couple on back of the cruising catamaran clinking champagne glasses at sunset (Castle Hill in b’grd), at restaurant table with classy food, night markets, shot roulette wheel in casino, then nightclubbing – dancing	… but our nights are just as much fun, too, right into the wee small hours for party people
CU Thurston to camera	You’ll already know that Townsville is event city
Montage V8s, powerboats, air show footage, Chamber Music festival players, triathalon,  concert with big name  star (Kernigan, Urban, Barnes, whoever) Cluden Townsville Cup,  a business convention scene	So whether you’ve come here for a specific reason …
Aerial Magnetic Island, highlighting secluded beaches away from built-up area (Radical etc) shot of young couple, family in background, bloke lying back cap over eyes, snoozing, kids playing in water	… or just for some relaxation on a secluded beach on Magnetic Island
CU Thurston talking ,  pulling back as JT puts headgear on and runs onto field.	You’ll find we’re a friendly mob, 24/7. And of course there’s another big attraction in our warm winters, which always calls for a warm welcome.
JT making smashing tackle in real match (file vision)	FX cheering
JT to camera coming off field	Well, we’re friendly most of the time. Come up and find out for yourself.
Fade to animation incorporating smiley face/sun with slogan Townsville, ‘For A Friendly Break’.
The campaign should be based on a slogan along the lines of that we are ‘the friendly mob’, featuring rapid professional editing and an upbeat snappy instrumental background.Other activities – basketball, go-karts, anything worth noting – could be added. This television commercial could be made in time for next year’s tourism season, for a campaign in southern states. The ‘Pie is ‘curious’ to know if Townsville would like to explore this idea – made properly and professionally, as the centrepiece for an adequately financed overall campaign, it should, as they say in the business, work its arse off for the business community.  So no matter what you do, remember, life should always be interesting and a touch unpredictable. But now, it is away to Poseurs’ Bar, where The ‘Pie needs a new pick-up line. His last effort, which he thought oh-so smooth, didn’t have the hoped for outcome. He had offered to bebubble a suitable lass, and the conversation went thus. Lass: ‘Hi. I’m Deidre.’ The ‘Pie: ‘Hi, I’m The Magpie but I’m called Dick for short.’ Lass: How to you get Dick from The Magpie. The ‘Pie: Just ask him nicely. Was able to hobble out of hospital after a couple of days.