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The Magpie

Saturday, November 11th, 2023   |   125 comments

Aaron Harper Tries To Throw A ‘Dead Cat’ On The Dining Room Table. And Misses.

In his desperation to stay on the gravy train, Harpic, fatally wounded by calling angry victims of crime an LNP rent-a-crowd, tries an epic ‘look over there’ ploy. And epically fails. Bentley nails him perfectly.

No racial division, Albo? An experienced executive and project manager loses her job and has pack up her family and leave her town because SHE  was threatened to be killed by an aboriginal cultural adviser. He keeps his job because … and the government department says ‘he’s an aboriginal’. And this is not in any remote community, it’s in Coffs Harbour.

And its started … it is becoming obvious the extent of the trashing of regional infrastructure projects to chuck money at Anna’s Olympics.

And despite all the gloomy sneaky stuff in the world, plenty of larfs floatin’ about, which The Magpie has collected during the week to lighten the mood.

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Harpic REALLY Is Clean Around The Bend

Aaron really has lost the plot … threatening to ‘walk’ (resign … HA, !!) over a possible federal back-flip to fund a Thuringowa road project. The reasoning behind this grandstanding is approaching disjointed Trump-level lunacy.

Let’s have a look at Harpic’s statement of hope for Thuringowa voters, whoi now have their fingers crossed.

Screen Shot 2023-11-07 at 9.08.23 am

Quoted from a fevered and mildly demented FB post,  he says he’ll personally (‘go it alone’) implement a plan B, but has refused to say what Plan B entails. He’s also failed to by what authority he would take such action over the head of the Premier, the Treasurer and just about everybody else in the Queensland Parliament.

And that pay-off line !!!

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Now that threat is up there in terms of leverage with those indigenous folk who ‘threatened’ that there would be no more ‘Welcome To Country’  ceremonies if the Yes vote didn’t get up – (hope they keep their word). In other words, everyone is crying ‘Bring it on, Bozo.’

But the mighty Bentley, a visionary on his day, takes his crystal ball behind the scenes when Anna makes a call to Canberra.

Screen Shot 2023-11-12 at 8.07.30 pm

In fact, Harper seems to be doing Anna’s job for her.  But let’s try and work through the foaming lunacy.

What does Harpic think he means with the vague pronoun ‘you’? Albo or Chalmers? Or Anna Palaszczuk? Or the Labor Party generally? As far as The ‘Pie knows of the arcane machinations of politics, the Feds have nothing to do with pre-selecting Queensland state candidates – in fact it’s a fair bet that right now, they couldn’t give a flying fuck anyway. But if he’s addressing Palaszczuk, why? She has nothing to do with Chalmers list  and why threaten someone who has backed you into cushy committee positions and supported your lack of cojones over juvenile crime? In fact,  Treasurer Cameron Dick has issued a less virulent ‘threat’ to Chamers that ‘Queensland projects better not be on the list’. At least Dick has some small powers of retaliation. But Harpic?

This is the wail of a wing-wounded bin chicken, it is the blustering ramblings of a sulky child, called out for a disgraceful betrayal of crime victims, calling them an ‘LNP rent-a-crowd’.

WAIT!! OR IS IT A Clever Con?

Consider this, Nesters … what if the word is through to Harpic from Labor’s Canberra back room that Riverway Drive funding is definitely ‘staying on the list’, and will be forthcoming as promised? And so Harpic issued his non-threat? When is announced that Riverway Drive is saved,  Harpic will claim it as his personal victory for such a courageous stand.

And somehow thinks that will save his sorry arse come election time.

 Again With The Astonisher, It Is A Question Of Questions.

AND MEMO REPORTER CHRIS BURNS: Wouldn’t it have of been interest to your readers to ask for the Premier’s reaction to this foot stamping child in her ranks? It seems, Mr Burns, you are fitting in well with the paper’s editorial policy of not asking questions.

But the paper’s high point during the week was it’s best headline of the year.

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Clever – but the headline was apparently at odds with the thinking of iditor Gas Carvey (not a typo) who, having parodied the issue on the front page,  became confused when she wrote an iditorial about it headed …

Screen Shot 2023-11-09 at 10.19.01 am A Quick Explainer If You Didn’t Know

The graphically disgusting ‘dead cat on a dining room table’ metaphor sounds like the sort of thing an Australian political operative would come up with – and it is! This from Marina Hyde in the Guardian:

Australian strategist Lynton Crosby was running David Cameron’s campaign, and had served up some distracting nastiness about the Miliband brothers and Trident. Isabel Hardman in the Spectator glossed it by explaining Crosby’s view that if you threw something disgusting on the metaphorical dining room table, everyone would deplore you but they’d be talking about that rather than the thing that was causing you real grief.

Now do you understand why your a boofhead, Harpic – can’t even get a dirty trick right.

All Born Equal, But Some Are More Equal Than Others

All depends on the colour of your skin. Here is the racial divide that Albanese has presented to the  Australian community as he chased some sort of screwball political legacy. Front page of the Weekend Australian.

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The first three columns give the essence of a very detailed and alarming story.

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That all speaks for itself, and this grub Brown has form, for violence and substance abuse. Wow, what a cultural ambassador, no doubt the indigenous elite will put him up for honours.  And wow, what priorities of a cowardly and arrogant NSW bureaucracy.

The Magpie isn’t overstating the case when he lays the blame squarely at the feet of our tropically twerking prime. minister.

The bottom line:  respected project manager and experienced executive Rochelle Hicks has now lost her job for speaking out, and is now having to pack up her family, husband and two young kids, and leave Coffs Harbour because she is not being offered any protection from this violent thug, who was confident to tell the paper: ‘It isn’t a threat, it  is a fact.’

We will watch with great interest what happens when a white person makes a similar threat to an aborigine.

This Week’s Day Late And A Dollar Short Trophy: The Winner Is  ….

Good timing is an essential part of a successful business. This mob missed out by a few years.

Screen Shot 2023-11-08 at 9.51.47 am

But still, might be a few mayoral crumbs to be won out on the poo fields of Wulguru.

Time To Start With A Tally Of ProJects That Will Fall Victim To The Olympic Folly

It is high time the upgrade of the Burdekin Falls Dam was front and centre, and it would’ve been but for Anna’s grasp at Olympic glory. Any discussion in the election year is likely to be stifled by financial ‘restraint’ – restraint in this case is another word for priorities. Doubt even Crisafulli would visit this one.

There was a good letter to the ed on the subject this week, that highlights the Olympic debacle affecting North Queensland.

Screen Shot 2023-11-09 at 10.17.03 am

Making matters worse, here’s a sample of what we are going to get as Palaszczuk and her 50 media advisers as they desperately try to justify the crippling cost of a fortnight of sport.

If you can stand to read this buzz word meaningless drivelling excuse for the Games, please get back and tell us which part actually meant something, said something, was actually tangible.

The Getting Of Wisdom

magpie contemplating navel copy

The learning curve never flattens out for The Magpie.  The old bird covers a lot of ground during his weekly cyber travels, and even in humdrum events of daily life, discovers things he never knew. With no explanation of why he came to discover the following,  he worked out that:

 **you add the windscreen detergent into  the holding bottle AFTER you have filled it up with water – especially if you, out of sheer laziness, do it in the other order and then use the jet on the garden hose to fill up. Thus The ‘Pie enjoyed the bi-monthly shower a week early.
** Watermelon is a berry
** The week’s ‘he’s got the right job’ nominative determinism goes to the bloke mentioned in the previously mentioned story in the Weekend Oz – Safety Consultant Jamie Tough.
** and previously never having had anything yo do with kale, found the following tip very handy.

Meanwhile, in the Untied (sic) States of America.

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Screen Shot 2023-11-10 at 9.05.59 am Screen Shot 2023-11-10 at 9.05.20 am Screen Shot 2023-11-10 at 9.06.40 am Screen Shot 2023-11-08 at 8.16.16 am Screen Shot 2023-11-08 at 8.13.11 am Screen Shot 2023-11-07 at 8.03.38 am Screen Shot 2023-11-07 at 8.03.55 am Screen Shot 2023-11-07 at 8.05.06 am

And For Gender Balance …. 

… one for the boys …


…. and one for the gals.


mind you, The ‘Pie isn’t sure women don’t already run the world.

Not All Good Deeds Get Punished 

Nice yarn.

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Awww, gee …

What On Earth Was A Pup Doing In Court?

Blatant crime of the week.

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And Finally, As The Chain Gang Boss Said In Cool Hand Luke….

… what we have here is a failure to communicate.

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No weak joke intended towards those inflicted but this story, about yet another cock-up at the Townsville Hospital, prompted a regular Nester to send this in.


Which is probably a appropriate sentiment – oft expressed by many readers – on which to end this week’s Magpie’s Nest.


Bumper crops nof comments recently, keep ‘em coming, they run 24/7.

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The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. Peter says:

    Back in the mid 80s during construction of the BFD Leightons offered to take the dam wall to full height for an extra $34M. It will cost an obscene amount of money for any construction company just to re establish the site for what a lousy 2 metres. Simply absurd. The dam was designed to drought proof Townsville for 100 years yet 40 years have passed & because of political lunacy we still haven’t achieved that & the silliness still continues today.

    • Bentley says:

      I was told by a senior engineer involved in the construction of the dam that the money for stage 2 was made available but was redirected to an alternative project.

    • Spielcheque says:

      Peter, apparently the “lousy 2 metres” you refer to will increase the capacity of the Burdekin dam by 30%. Compared with the stupendous cost of a 14 meter rise with associated hydro generation and a gravity feed pipeline to Townsville (or at least from the dam wall to the Haughton2 pipeline at Clare), maybe the lousy 2 metres is a best-value option when belts are being tightened to combat inflation?

      • The Magpie says:

        Now there is a Jenny Hill-worthy example of restricted vision, if ever there was one. Not that the BFD has anything to do with Mayor Mullet, but your view is EXACTLY the short-term sugar-hit formulae of our beloved mayor who has used it to bedevil this city on several project past and current.

        Now you want to use a similar formula to bedevil all Queensland. Because while 2 metres would be a great boon to Townsville, the Burdekin and upstream communities … 14m would change the whole dynamic of the state for the better and create a national powerhouse of agriculture, industry, tourism and community wealth for the next generation and beyond.

        The return on the ‘stupendous cost’ would itself be even more stupendous, indeed change the wealth balance of Australia … if only you and blinkered Magoo-burdened folks like you, could see that.

        • Spielcheque says:

          Perfect opportunity for the Kid and Co to put up a business case then.

          • The Magpie says:

            Never going to happen – by anybody – while the Olympics are hanging over their heads. The extent of this Olympian (sorry!) mistake is still not being realised.

        • Spielcheque says:

          ” . . . 14m would change the whole dynamic of the state for the better and create a national powerhouse of agriculture, industry, tourism and community wealth for the next generation and beyond.”

          Magpie, have you been sunstruck browsing the crumpled remains of the TEL brochure promoting the Hells Gate dam? There is simply no demand in the regional agricultural sector for such a massive increase in water storage – as evidenced in the Hells Gate study. The proposed 2 metre raising provides for a modest expansion of irrigation, extra storage for Townsville and some vaguely possible industry expansion. The 2020 SunWater document (Initial Advice Statement – Burdekin Falls Dam Raising) is pretty pragmatic.

          About that industry, apart from existing coal mining in the Bowen Basin and more recent Galilee Basin (facing its own dubious future), what ‘industry’ do you see on the horizon which would create such a massive demand? Or were you just daydreaming of a Katteresque legacy tourism and leisure water park into which the wealth of the state (and nation) could be poured? A Mingela Mar-a-Lago-Beyond-The-Hub-in-The-Scrub? Bravo! But first, a business case, surely.

          • The Magpie says:

            Thank you Mr Magoo.

            A specious argument not worth entering into. BFD is no Hell’s Gate, it exists, and you failed to mention hydro.

          • Spielcheque says:

            Tropical irrigated agriculture depends almost entirely on export. Hells Gate business case showed that it can’t be done profitably under any scenario. Hydro? FFS, bring on a business case. You’ll need Frank Poullas!

          • The Magpie says:

            Your positive attitude is positively infectious. You always manage to find a way to stay a step behind.

            Hey, ever thought of running for mayor?

          • Russell says:

            How about an ethanol industry based on the significant irrigation area which could be developed?

          • The Wulguru Wonder says:

            Just get the mob who wrote the business case for Anna’s Olympics…..they can justify anything.

          • ABS says:

            A positive attitude isn’t a business case.

          • Jeff, Condon says:

            You left wingers seem incapable of looking further ahead than one election so that you can claim the glory, keeping the PARTY in power. That’s why Labor can’t handle finances, too short sighted.

            Raising the BFD to it’s full potential with HE would benefit everyone for another century.

            If you have been around when the Hume Dam and the Snowy project were being planned, nothing at all would have accomplished. Go and soak your legumes.

          • Spielcheque says:

            Jeff, why don’t you read the documents for yourself? The info is all there and speaks for itself. The main economic impact of the BFD wall raising is the actual construction project. After that it’s crickets. Just read the public documents.

          • The Magpie says:

            So just to be clear, you are saying – or at least what the documents say – is that after the construction phase and enlargement of the water holding, there will be no economic benefit for the effort … or at least none that would justify the outlay?

          • Spielcheque says:

            In almost one word, yes. What the documents suggest is that there is a case for raising the BFD wall by 2 metres (but not by 6m, 10m or 14m) to gain an increase in capacity of 30% (actually 31% to be precise). That’s all. That will allow for a modest expansion in irrigated agriculture south of the Burdekin (ie. not sugar cane) and for increased water security for Townsville’s water supply, including locally based industry. The modest economic benefits, after the construction boom which is acknowledged in the documents, will take a while to materialise – Lansdown comes to mind.

            I notice that you have not been forthcoming with a potential cost of raising the wall by 14 metres nor a figure for the capacity of the enlarged impoundment – you know, basic cost/benefit analysis. Including hydro-electric generation if you like, and a ‘gravity feed’ connection to Townsville if you must. But if you are going to make grandiose statements like ” . . . . create a national powerhouse of agriculture, industry, tourism and community wealth for the next generation and beyond”, I think it is reasonable to explore a few of the potential components of your vision.

            Russell made one such suggestion: How about an ethanol industry based on the significant irrigation area which could be developed? There already is a sugar cane industry right there which often struggles to compete on the world market and would love to diversify. An ethanol plant could be built right now. There isn’t one because it could only survive if the water was free, operations were subsidised and motorists were slugged at the bowser. What would be the point? The Hells Gate business case demonstrated that no greenfield irrigated tropical agriculture export enterprise could survive in this region without ridiculous taxpayer subsidies, without considering the original construction costs of the dam, pipelines and setting up the farms. It’s all in the papers. They are made public to inform the debate.

        • ABS says:

          14m will be an eternal burden in the state if no one can afford the water..

  2. Mark the Jazz says:

    Magpie, I agree it does appear women run the world. Even better would be mothers running the world. Mums intuitively understand nurture. They also understand what’s important and what’s crap.

    • The Magpie says:

      One of the wittiest woman ever to write had it pegged way back when.

      Anita Loos, the screenwriter and author, claimed – in typically waggish style – to be furious at the women’s lib movement. “They keep getting up on soapboxes and proclaiming that women are brighter than men,” she said. “That’s true, but it should be kept very quiet or it ruins the whole racket.”

      She meant it as a joke, but there’s always a lot of truth hidden under wit.

  3. Long Suffering ratepayer says:

    When it comes to brain farts, Townsville City Council drops some beauties 9and they all stink).
    In Saturday’s cocky cage liner Jenny Hill put out a tester for next year’s Team Hill election policy, typically delivered not by Mayor Jenny Hill, but by her Sergeant Schultz clone, Frothy Molachino.
    The idea, apparently, is to build much needed housing – under or near the flight path of aircraft, on a floodplain, and near a correction centre.
    Wow, that’s what I’d call a triple whammy.
    Of course, this dumber and dumber idea will not end up on Team Hill’s list of empty promises (remember the mayor’s pledge to provide more transparency last time) come 2024.
    Given the backlash I’ve seen and heard so far it will be scrapped, leaving Frothy to bear the embarrassment.
    You’d think by now he would have woken up to the fact that he’s Jenny’s stool pigeon.

  4. Mike Douglas says:

    Queensland Unions are running research on the Premier as well the best possible candidate replacements . The Big Olympics payday with any State Government project over $100 mil subject to ” best practice ” at stake . A big win for Unions and their members , bad for Queensland tax payers . Even the Unions have acknowledged the 3 Townsville seats are in jeopardy so will Aaron and Les fall on their sword for candidates that could at least put up a fight and attract $ support to win ? . Is it correct Cairns has 2 teams running against current Mayor and Councillors ? .

  5. Ivebeeneverywhereman says:

    Riverway not Riverside.

  6. Achilles says:

    On the news from the USA shows a 24′ tree being cut down and stuck in a pot at the Rockefeller place, for Xmas.

    Jesus never said “kill a tree for my birthday” did he?

  7. Jatzcrackers says:

    So when Kid Crisafulli is voted in as Premier in 2024 does he do a ‘Dan’ and put a line through Brisbane hosting the 2032 Olympics ? Given the massive costs involved and the impact on the remainder of Queensland with available (and yet to be printed) funds being funnelled into the 14 day event, they’ll be plenty of Queenslanders cheering this decision as total commonsense.

    • Dazza says:

      As much as I would like to see it cancelled. The Lord Mayor and Brisbane city council are LNP and firmly behind it. Only the greens are a no olympics. A new LNP state government and a very likely returned LNP council won’t cancel. Alas Queensland will have to pay for superstate Brisbane folly for years before and after.

      • The Magpie says:

        The ‘Pie is with you, Dazza, because while cancellation would be my preference, it is never going to happen. We can but watch as vital infrastructure funds are frittered away on the wrong-headed ‘coup’.

        Unlike the dying and second tier Commonwealth Games, an Olympic Games cancellation would immediately involve the Feds and pressure would be brought to bear by one of the most powerful and corrupt organisations in world sport, the IOC. They’re just behind FIFA in malign influence.

        Certainly, Queensland could cancel if it had a courageous political leadership, but there is no discernible leadership on any side that would have the authority, stature or courage to do so. It is a disastrous decision made and pursued for all the wrong reasons (Anna’s political legacy). And it certainly will be her legacy, but it will not read her into the history books the way she intended.

        • Spielcheque says:

          Plus, Crisafulli is the Opposition spokesman for the Olympics and for Tourism. There’s no chance he will be even slightly buying out.

          • The Magpie says:

            But he won’t be pushing it much, either, if he’s reading the latest polls on how Queenslanders feel about it. Which ain’t too keen.

        • Jatzcrackers says:

          Yes, understand all of the blowback from Fed Gov and IOC however these are not matters of life and death that can’t be dealt with. Imagine though, of a Queensland Premier leader that makes a decision where the people of Queensland say ‘hold on a minute here…this guys got the mettle and balls to actually look out for OUR interests’
          Imagine the backing he’d get from the public who recognise a leader making a sound financial decision that resonates with the people.
          Who actually knows how much old Anna has pledged to spend on this 14 day event to the detriment of the rest of the state.
          Backroom deals done, shrouded in secrecy and Commercial in Confidence so we’ll never know the final account until after the event !
          I’d applaud The Kid if he pulled the pin on this overblown spectacle !

          • Jeff, Condon says:

            If Crisifulli cancelled the games we’d look as silly as Vic. By the time he gets in, cancellation would cost nearly as much in compensation to the IOC along with all the contracts that will have already been signed.

            The LNP’s best option will be to promote it and try to salvage what they can from the debacle.

            On the brighter side, old dentures Beattie won’t be in there to stuff it up again.

  8. White Mouse says:

    “Magnis facing debt breach over US factory”(Weekend Australian). Could this be the final mail in the coffin for Frank Poullas and his outfit of shysters?

    • Fellatio Phil says:

      Shhhhhh nobody tell Jenny. She has placed a lot of eggs in the Magnis basket. Tsk tsk

    • Spielcheque says:

      WM, the problem with these click bait style headlines is that they slide around the context (yes, I know, Townsville got diddled by Magnis, but the whole lithium battery manufacture cavalcade is a much bigger picture). In the middle of the Magnis financial saga is a brand new factory which seems to be pretty much ready to go into automated production. I can’t say how good or relevant or saleable the Magnis product will be compared to the multiple other units available in the US but I suspect that the whole industry, including Magnis, is wildly punting along on the enormous US government stimulus provided by the Inflation Reduction Act. There’s a bit of context and a fairly recent roundup in this article:


      • The Magpie says:

        ood overview, thanks. But enough said about Magnis by what is not said.
        After listing all the mega vehicle manufacturers, we get to the minnows under Battery manufacturers building in North America, where the hopefuls are listed BUT NOT Magnis. Not a dickey bird.
        Poullas and gang were clearly swerving to their NY venture after the US Government’s incentive hand-outs to the industry.

        • Spielcheque says:

          Apparently Magnis has already pulled a couple of mill out of the US Treasury under the IRA so they must be close to functional. But raising the $100m they have spent looks like it was a pretty bruising process which commentators like the high-minded News Ltd seem to think was a bit unsavoury (as if . . .!). Anyway, the chips are down for Frank over that debt and he really will have to get his shit together today or the show will be heading for hell in a hand basket:

          “Please note that there can be no certainty that a resolution acceptable to the Lender will be reached [by 5pm (New York time) on 14 November 2023] and/or that the Borrower will be able to obtain alternative financing on terms acceptable to the Borrower (or at all).” Or at all. Oh dear.

          • Spielcheque says:

            Gotta hand it to Frank. He can hold back a storm surge with his bare hands. This morning Magnis has called a Trading Pause on the ASX pending an announcement on its Loan Facility:

            “The Lender has not taken any enforcement action against the security to date and all parties are currently engaged in active dialogue with the Lenders’ representative ACP and reviewing multiple short and long term refinancing options. If and when those negotiations are sufficiently certain to be disclosed to the market, Magnis will provide additional updates in accordance with its Listing Rule 3.1 disclosure obligations.”

          • The Magpie says:

            Woukldn’t it be nice if all these shysters actually used their time and energy toi creating, employing, bettering things than all this financial smnartarsey? Mind you, Frank has some serious Turkish drug connections, hope he didn’t default on any due payment.

          • Grumpy says:

            All this financial chicanery reminds me of a Bond-ism – ‘If you owe the banks $500,00, they have you by the balls; if you owe the bank $500,000.000, you have them by the balls.”

      • Grumpy says:

        Right or wrong, she’s still my Mum.

  9. J jones says:

    Congrats to Barnaby and former local girl Vikki on their marriage. A delightful couple.

  10. Echochamber says:

    “We’re building new detention centres, but they are therapeutic detention centres because we don’t want to see those young people back again.” Di Farmer Youth Justice Minister.

    I wonder which one of the army of spin doctors came up with the term “therapeutic detention centre”.

    We’re doomed.

    • The Magpie says:

      Well, dunno about your evaluation, Yodeller. A scheme has long been on the drawing board (although its news to The Magpie that the current government has adopted it) where the operational model is a carrot and stick venture, with release dates partially governed not just behaviour but skill attainments and studies. No one under the scheme is expected to become a PhD, but depends on a kid knows his earliest release is sooner if he learns something – not just attending classes and workshops, (locksmithing and vehicle electrician would be popular no doubt) but actually showing some progress and not just goofing off to put in some arbitrary requirement of hours.

      The model The Magpie has mentioned previously in the blog also hasa strong work placement scheme on release.

      So if it works, the term ‘therapeutic detention’, while redolent of the spin doctors fevered torture of the English language, is exactly correct if this is how it will work.

  11. Prince Rollmop says:

    Aaron Harpic’s most recent outburst on Faecesbook was a disgrace. The guy is a loose cannon and an a-grade wanker. It is incredible that we have three fucktards like the three state morons that we have in Townsville. Palasczuk has a lot to answer for. And yes, she will answer.

    “Vote out Anna, Hill, and the three State Labour muppets in 24”

  12. Cantankerous but happy says:

    Good old Labor, 18 months in and they are already sending Australians standard of living backwards at at record pace, 5.1% decline, worst in the OECD. On top of that they are creating a new class of Australian, the live in your car Aussie, off to Maccas for a shit in the morning before heading off to work, your society is in real decline when you can’t put a roof over peoples head.

    • Prince Rollmop says:

      Cantankerous, we are meant to be the ‘lucky country’! Rental availability and house pricing out of control, higher interest rates and mortgage stress, people living in tents at caravan parks and public parks, pensioners undergoing financial duress, cost of living meltdown while banks, big pharma and Westfarmers post record profits, record fuel prices, record inflation, record high crime rate, failing infrastructure, health, and road transport……Meanwhile Airbus Albo spending record half a trillion taxpayer dollars on subs, ships, and planes for the hungry war machine. And he is giving away billions to Ukraine and the South Pacific, and spending tens of millions on stupid referendums and fuel for his own private plane that takes him and his girlfriend around the world on endless jollies.

      If your an Aussie taxpayer, keep bending over and grabbing your ankles as our politicians have a lot more to do to us in that area of activity.

      Tick tock

    • Mike Douglas says:

      Cankers , Albo is also proposing to back away from the conventional 50/50 infrastructire support to 80/20 which will leave a big hole for Queensland . $3 bil + cut / deferred Bruce highway alone . With Olympics dates not deferrable on new builds Regional Council are also going to have funds cut . Another broken promise by Aaron Harper not walking .

    • Achilles says:

      Its the usual lack of a complete unified plan. The Dept of Immigration has almost unrestricted influx of at least 3 times the usual migrant approvals. A floating number but a finite number of housing.

      Its like when Noddy was planning to build his house by putting the roof on first, it took Big-Ears to point out that the walls must go up first.

      With this government; its not that the right hand doesn’t what the left hand is doing, it doesn’t even know that it exists.

    • Jeff, Condon says:

      Cantankerous, we are listed as the 11th most expensive country to live in, in the the world because of the low value of the AUD, our high reliance on imports and the high cost of power.

  13. Motorist says:


    On the median strip, on Riverway Drive, in the vicinity of Skua St there have been works going on for ages, much of it underground I suspect. What is the nature of these works?

  14. Roadwork says:

    Just watched how the labor feds are now telling states if you want a road built you pay half rather then 20% which has been a long running agreement. Guess what? Qld says they want all the roads built because they have lots of Money at the moment. Maybe a coincidence that it looks like LNP will win next year? They hand over overpriced Olympics and underfunded roads? One good thing is harpic is leaving if the roads are cancelled lol

    • The Magpie says:

      Question: are petrol taxes distributed back to states on a pro rata basis?

      • Roadwork says:

        Qld state government says it’s got money from higher royalties. So I’m guessing fuel tax isn’t being used in roads like they’re meant for. Bottom line is labor have well and truly fucked this country. But hey we just gave $350 million to a small island that isn’t sinking.

        Question: I wonder how they build a house on these islands? They must borrow money for it like everyone else. Why would a bank loan money to something that will be under water in next 5 years? Not a good investment. Sorry for Segway. That might set off some of the brainwashed on here

    • Non Aligned Worker says:

      Motorist. They are installing a variable Message sign in the median.
      The concrete barrier and crash cushions surrounding it seem to be an overkill, preferring cast in situ barriers rather than off the shelf versions.

      • Motorist says:

        Given all of our tax payer dollars going into the foundations alone, I hope the variable messages are deep and meaningful to enrich my life and the lives of all Motorists.

      • Every Day Rewards Card says:

        Are you sure. There is already one of these on Riverway Drive on the out bound side. How many of these does that part of town need?

        • Non Aligned Worker says:

          Card. Yep I’m sure. There was one planned closer to Gouldian Ave (foundations poured) but they discovered that the median trees blocked the sign so they moved it back to shewer. I can hardly wait for the deep and meaningful messages to begin.

  15. Doug K says:

    Any truth in the rumour that Jenny Hill has offered to cover her mate Frank’s Magnis debt (with ratepayers money of course)?
    She could use that lazy $18 million we saved her on the Adani Airstrip.

    • Wiggins says:

      Sounds good in theory – basic human rights in the workplace. But from my personal experience when you are just a small innocent person who is being done over by your employer who has lots of money and has engaged Clayton Utz, you’re fucked. Workplace dismissals, bullying, and harassment continues to take place daily in which innocent lives are shattered. Human rights my ass.

      • The Magpie says:

        To follow up The ‘Pie’s recent comment on this matter, laws like these stifle the will to be honest in your social responsibilities and always, nowadays, everything is somebody’s fault but one’s own. And laws like these are part of the stealthy tightening of accepted bonds of free speech (compelled and socially coerce fb PC language and whacky gender claims) and free action, where you personally pay the penalty for unacceptable behavior, where hat penalty can be social as well as legal.

    • Jeff, Condon says:

      IN THESE TIMES. Sooo, a football team plays an away game and all the players get pissed after the match. It happens sometimes. Two of them get into a punchup back at the accommodation. Can both the combatants hold the club vicariously liable?

      • The Magpie says:

        Good question.

        All these sorts of left inspired laws do is further excuse the individual of any responsibility for their actions. One would hope that these measures are knocked down in court when a test case pops up by some money-hungry irresponsible arsesole happy to vicariously make their work mates suffer the danger of diminished employment or even the dole.

  16. Achilles says:

    Terrible caption on ABC News “Israel carrying out operations at Gaza Hospital”

  17. It's not cricket, it's a cyclone says:

    Ch7 sunrise just saying after 8am that the cyclone in the bay of Bengal has the potential to wash out today’s game and Australian finals chances. Cyclones in that area usually wipe out lots of poor people in flimsy dwellings. If they know about the cricket and the cyclone, which do you think they will be thinking about? That Ch7 is not known for its empathy isnt a surprise.

    • The Magpie says:

      That’s hardly a fair comment … it is a report on the possibility affecting a global sporting event in which Australia is involved. The dangers of a cyclone, particularly in that area, are well known and accepted as a possibility, but not sure what you’re suggesting. Do you want Seven to condescendingly state the bleedin’ obvious about an outcome that hasn’t happened? The ‘Pie thinks your being a bit too woke on this one.

      The media aren’t always the silly ones.

    • J jones says:

      Dumb comment of the week

  18. Elusive Butterfly says:

    Not just “silly” Mr. Pie, but totally inept!
    Take this lead this morning…

    “True Crime Australia
    Police & Courts Townsville

    Caitlan Charles
    less than 2 min read
    November 15, 2023 – 7:59PM
    Townsville Bulletin

    A prominent Townsville businessman is facing fresh rape and sexual assault charges.

    Alexander James Macdonald Terry, who is being named for the first time after the Queensland government changed the laws around identifying alleged offenders charged with sexual offences, is now facing an additional rape charge, three sexual assault charges and two counts of enter dwelling.”

    He’s not just a Townsville businessman but a “prominent” one….apparently?
    How is he “prominent?”
    Not a word, nothing, from Caitlan to demonstrate how he is “prominent.”
    Surely his prominence would be the crux of the story?
    Did you do a little digging Caitlan to qualify that word “prominent?”
    Nup…too difficult!!

    • The Magpie says:

      Absolutely correct, Flutterby … this bloke is so ‘prominent’, a web search has turned up precisely zilch. Seems there is a bloke of the same or similar name involved in some agricultural concern out at Hughenden, but doesn’t appear to be any connection. It is normal practice for such a court report to include the bare details of his background (cafe owner, real estate agent, newspaper editor or whatever), so there is the usual bullshit attached to the word ‘prominent’.

      Anybody out there know anything about this turkey?

      • The Magpie says:

        (Recived via Magpie email)

        Yes, you’re right, Alexander James MacDonald Terry is a licensed real estate agent and goes by name of Jim Terry.

        Lives on Yarrawonga and also resident manager at ‘Jade Apartments’ in Landsborough Street North Ward.

        Came off the land several years ago, fairly cashed up and bit a fitness buff.

        Not sure if his alleged crime was part of his fitness routine !

        • Jatzcrackers says:

          That’s definitely one of the more interesting laws that the Queensland Government has recently changed. Perhaps other Nesters with legal background can answer, but does a Government seek advice from the legal fraternity before passing a law like this that gets to name anyone who only been charged with an offence ? If a case goes to court, gets tossed out or the person is found not guilty, what happens then ?

          ‘Oh sorry’ we’ve fucked your life now, you’ll probably have to find a new career, marriage, friends etc, but we are sorry about your name up in lights and all that’

          I’m not talking about what crime this person has been charged with which is an absolutely deplorable and horrendous crime, but where is the most basic concept of law of being innocent until proven guilty ?

          The world is definitely becoming more looney as these minority woke loonies
          get listened to more and more.

          • Spielcheque says:

            Jatz, the law change does not mean that the media gets to name anyone who’s been charged with any offence. There is a very specific application to sexual offences. Google this announcement and leave your woke worries behind:

            Queensland Government updates justice legislation, removing prohibition on naming alleged sex offenders

          • The Magpie says:

            Incorrect Dud Cheque. As The ‘Pie understands it, this is NOT a very specific application to sex offences, it is exactly the opposite, repealing a specific application to sexual offences. As various media stories have reported, this brings sexual offenders back to the same rights ‘as any other charged person’.

            And just for the record, there still are restrictions on naming an alleged offender … a central factor is the accused cannot be named if it identifies the victims, the identification of same is an absolute prohibition for all time before during and after. This is particularly important in matters concerning children and possible incest. And the hard and fast rule only be broken by the victim themselves.

            All that said, The Magpie strongly disagrees with this change in light of the old saw ‘mud sticks’. Even if charges are dropped or proved false, as they occasionally are, the social stigma remains, human society being what it is. The old rule of no name until committed to trial (after a magistrate has decided there is enough evidence to sen d the defendant to trial) gave a modicum of balance and fairness. And The Magpie cannot see one single reason for this change, except that politicians buckled to media pressure to boost their headlines. What social benefit is there, let alone the presumption of innocence until proven guilty.

          • Spielcheque says:

            Magpie (and Jatz), I beg your pardon. What I wrote did not come out as intended. You are correct that the law in relation to sex offenders has been changed to make them the same as any other alleged offenders. Of course, the accused can still apply to have their name suppressed but the court has no obligation.

          • The Magpie says:

            That last matter is a good point.

            The ‘Pie believes that Bruce Lehrmann was right to seek suppression while his Canberra matter was on foot …the justification being the wildly undisciplined and sensation-seeking media which hides behind mealy-mouthed nonsense about ‘the public’s right to know’. Hypocritical when you think of all the areas where significant sections of the media generally labour long and hard to keep other more serious matters the public has a right to know about from full view. A good instance is the recent Voice referendum, where many outlets refused to delve very deeply into the implications of the issue.

            That’s what happens when the media become players instead of informed observers.

          • Spielcheque says:

            That said, Magpie, I wonder where you were heading with ” The old rule of no name until committed to trial (after a magistrate has decided there is enough evidence to send the defendant to trial) gave a modicum of balance and fairness. And The Magpie cannot see one single reason for this change, except that politicians buckled to media pressure to boost their headlines.”? Only a day ago, when your curiosity about a recently named alleged offender got the better of you, you cast about for some sordid details by asking”

            “Anybody out there know anything about this turkey?”

          • The Magpie says:

            That you at your usual specious best, Spielster.

            The Magpie’s comment was directed at the reporter for describing the bloke as a ‘prominent Townsville businessman.’ And said reporter was made to look justifiably incompetent and incurious when it was quickly established that the accused operates a real estate agency (boasting one single sale in the past year – doesn’t get much more prominent than that) and manages a unit complex. All under another name. So the Bulletin’s long sought-after ‘naming and shaming before proof’ was too much hard work for the journo.

            And that was the point, me old muppet. You sure you’re on the right site?

        • Bullshit says:

          People accused of every other crime get named, and this change only brought Queensland into line with the rest of Australia.

          • The Magpie says:

            The ‘Pie is are of that, but because ‘they’re all doin’ it’ is never a justification for any unfairness.

            And only a dolt would fail to see the difference in social perceptions between sex crimes and other types of offendeding. Even some murderers are held in higher regard – they certainly are in prison, but even in the community, sexual predators and child molesters command special repugnance. That is why a modicum of protection for the (admittedly rare) falsely accused was a reasonable measure. The slavering modern media serves no good purpose in pushing for and getting this legal change.

            A side note: The ‘Pie has decided he will try to generally avoid the term ‘kiddy fiddlers’ – it smacks of downgrading the horror and damage of the crime to a triviality of language.

          • old tradesman says:

            So when are we going to get the names of the 83 or so illegal immigrants who have been released into the community?

          • Old Tradesman says:

            So what are the names of the 83 illegal immigrants that have been released into the community?

          • The Magpie says:

            Why? Want to stalk them? Or indulge in a bit of casual racism based on names?

        • Alahazbin says:

          Pie, Not sure of any connection, but the Terry family own the property surrounding Cobolt Gorge.

          • Spielcheque says:

            FFS Ala, do you mean Cobbold Gorge or did your spellcheck stick its stupid beak in like mine did?

  19. Prickster says:

    Damn it looks like Harpic will stay and not walk like he promised in his little hissy fit but only just, as his overhyped road projects stay in the mix and do not get cut like Fran’s Dingo Park Road Intersection Upgrade


    • Jatzcrackers says:

      Yes, Pie was on the money when he flagged that the useless fuckwit Harpic probably already knew that the works were still a goer. Empty vessels make the most sound especially when they’re struggling to stay relevant !

      I’m with Prince Rollmop… Show them the door in 24′

      • Alahazbin says:

        Yes, PR & Jatz, We know he is an idiot, but not entirely stupid.

        • Prince Rollmop says:

          I agree, you can’t rise through the political rankes without having half a brain as there is a lot of strategy involved in climbing the greasy pole,. So granted, there is a modicum of intelligence about the man, like him or loathe him. However, personality wise, he is a complete fuckstick.

  20. The Magpie says:

    Seems maths aren’t the only confusion for the Astonisher, apparently seasonal perceptions give them a problem, too. From today’s clickbait collection.

  21. Prince Rollmop says:

    Madam Mullet and Claudia Bumme-smith have been prancing around Can’tberra this week, posing for photos with ministers while ‘advocating’ for key Townsville projects. How embarrassing that these two chumps represent our region. We need people with a solid and proven background in diplomacy, business acumen, and negotiating skills to do that work. Not a pair of loud mouthed bogans.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Brum posted that she was in Canberra securing the future of Nth Qld, we are fucked if we had to rely on her for our future, delusional lightweight, more likely securing funding for some scam study to keep all the Dudley’s employed for another 12 months.

  22. Doug K says:

    Prickster, the Federal Minister was on ABC News today saying the Queensland Government has known for months which projects were going to be scrapped, so Harper was well aware his pet project was safe before threatening to “walk away”.
    The fact that he thought he could hoodwink the public says it all.
    I honestly thought he couldn’t get any worse, but he proved me wrong.

  23. The Wulguru Wonder says:

    I read that Albo has just announced, (after meeting with the CEO of Microsoft on the ‘sidelines’ of the APEC conference in San Francisco), an agreement to a 6 month trial of artificial intelligence in the Australian Public Service.

    Most probably because there is a distinct lack of natural intelligence in Canberra.

    • Underwear not required says:

      No surprise re Airbus Albo wanting to trial AI in the public service, as a lot of the muppets who work as Public Serpents only tick boxes and shuffle papers anyway. You can train AI to tick boxes. Think about the money that will be saved by eliminating staff chewing through frequent flyer points and loading up there corporate credit cards on long lunches and the local rub n tug!

    • J Jones says:

      And what’s the issue with a sitting PM travelling a lot? It’s what they do – collaborate at the highest level. It’s normal. It’s acceptable. It’s not new! But of course the Magpies nesters all know better.

      • The Magpie says:

        And of course, you know better than the Magpie Nesters.
        You certainly know fuck all about optics and priorities. While certain trips are both pre-planned and beneficial (China certainly) Albo’s overseas travel overkill is Scomo’s ‘let them eat cake’ bushfires debacle in slow motion.

        • Echochamber says:


          “Including his current jaunt, Mr Albanese’s tally of overseas prime ministerial trips has risen to 18 since he was elected roughly 18 months ago.

          That nudges him slightly ahead of former prime ministers Scott Morrison (17 trips) and Tony Abbott (16) at the same point in their tenure.

          Notably, the data shows it was not Mr Albanese but Mr Morrison who set the fastest pace early in his prime ministership, clocking his 17 trips within the first 14 months.

          But within weeks of Mr Morrison’s return from a November 2019 summit in Thailand, Australia’s Black Summer bushfire season had taken hold. By the end of January 2020, the World Health Organisation had declared a global pandemic.

          The impact of COVID-19 can be clearly seen in the data, with Mr Morrison making just one overseas visit in 2020, to Japan, and only four in 2021.”

          • The Magpie says:

            Not sure what we are meant to take out of that … prime ministerial travel is always the target of cheap political point scoring, only very occasionally justified. And one would hope that Morrison’s fiddling in Hawaii while homes burned was a privately funded jaunt.

          • The Magpie says:

            Ambiguity point, which may assist ABS.

            ‘…prime ministerial travel is always the target of cheap political point scoring, only very occasionally justified’ should have read
            ‘… prime ministerial travel is always the target of cheap political point scoring, which is only very occasionally justified.’

  24. Achilles says:

    The employment stats just published show a modest increase in the number of unemployed but also revealed that 1000 people who were engaged to do “stuff” on the Voice nonsense are now redundant.

    Begs the question what were their salaries for this event!

    This position was advertised for a 15 hours per week role to support a successful “Yes” campaign at $79,911.52 P.A..

    Here is the JD…. Our taxes at work!


    • The Magpie says:

      Well, whatever, but a couple of points … they deserve to be out of a job, on the grounds of incompetence and dishonesty. And The ‘Pie has always found it a distasteful fact that when misery prevails and people lose their jobs, stockmatrkets (i.e. investors) surge.

  25. Tenacious D says:

    Seeking Pies wise council.

    Why is the term for not liking Jewish people called antisemitism (Lower case a)

    And the term for not liking Muslims is Islamophobia?

    The first one implies opposition to something, yet the second is fear of something.

    Could these labels be more cause than cure for the ill of Gaza?

    • The Magpie says:

      Both Islam and Jews are proper nouns and therefore are capitalised. The English grammar rule is to capitalise members of groups, races, nationalities, religions: Indians, Jews, Catholics, Mexicans, Europeans, French, Islam, Muslim. Therefore Islamophobia should be capitalised, whereas antisemitism begins with a prefix and doesn’t mention Jewry but the older version Semite. However, if the now mostly discarded hyphenated spelling ‘anti-Semitism’ is used, capping Semitism is correct (but you can’t have a capital letter in the middle of a single word, hence antisemitism.

      The other differentiation is that antisemitism is based on hatred (historically for the perception of greed and chicanery bred by Jewish emphasis on material wealth), whereas Islamophobia is more based on fear of the intolerance of a perceived war-like and violent creed.

      NB In multiple business dealings with Jews over the years, I have never found anything but fair and sensible dealing. One even told me ‘Always leave something in there for the next person’.

      • True Facts Stated says:

        The English grammar rule is to capitalize members of races, so it’s a sign of the Magpie’s well-known, all-encompassing hatred of First Nations Australians that he never capitalizes “Aboriginal”.

        • The Magpie says:

          Despite your self-serving drivelly imaginings of what The Magpie thinks, there is an interesting and, on checking, a valid point in your dribbling.

          Aborigine and Aboriginal do indeed take caps, but only when referring to Australian Aborigines (noun) or Aboriginal (adjective). Why an adjective takes a cap is one of the unexplained quirks of language.
          It is ‘aborigine’ and ‘aboriginal’ when referring to any original inhabitant of an area elsewhere in the world.

      • Alahazbin says:

        Thanks for the explanation Pie. I didn’t have to go ask Roly on ABC radio.

  26. Kenny Kennett says:

    Does anybody else see a likeness (an unfortunate word to use) between the Optus CEO and the Mullet?

  27. Sandspit Cliff says:

    The ongoing saga of Erosion in Rowes Bay and Pallarenda!!! An ePetition drawn up
    by concerned Residents has been approved by TCC but the catch – you get a confirmation email but if you don’t click on the highlighted “confirmation link” your e-signature is not registered and counted!!!!

    The petition requests that the Townsville City Council takes appropriate remedial action to stop erosion at Rowes Bay and Pallarenda Beaches and the formation of a huge sand spit at Pallarenda Beach. What they have been doing for the past 13 years has achieved nothing and in fact made the situation worse.

    The present management of foreshore erosion by TCC is failing. This issue has been scientifically researched and assessed by world renowned Oceanographer and Eco Hydrologist, Professor Eric Wolanski. His scientific report including recommendations were presented to Council but not acted upon. His recommendations for solutions are as follows-
    1. Two groynes be constructed at Rowes Bay to create a permanent solution to beach erosion ( as has been successfully done at The Strand). At present the sand that is deposited at Rowes Bay is being carried to the Three Mile Creek sand spit by ocean currents.
    2. Widening of the Three Mile creek substructure to eliminate the choke point
    3. Dredge out a channel through the sand spit at Three Mile creek to restore its natural entrance to the sea and armour it.

    This issue affects the entire Townsville communities enjoyment of both Pallarenda and Rowes Bay beaches. If you are concerned and want TCC to take action that will permanently resolve this issue you will need to sign the petition on their website
    TCC only permits residents to sign a petition on their website (after they have approved it!!!). Link attached.-


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