Sadly, our honeymoon with new Astonisher editor Ben English is over already with this week’s deliberately low act of preying on one of the community’s most vulnerable groups … the jobless. The Magpie looks EXCLUSIVELY at the REAL reason behind the empty promises of the ‘Let’s Get To Work’ campaign.
Also this week, a couple of old faces bob up in the council race … but is a secret agenda hidden under the latest hat in the ring? The ‘Pie pontificates.
… and the Fat Cats’ File: Yabulu boss (and Palmer nephew) Clive Mensink roughing it on his Gold Coast property.
And international relations: the French refuse to be blackmailed and brow-beaten by a Muslim leader, in an example all western countries should note – especially a sniveling Italian Government (whoever they are this month)….
More Nanny State nonsense from a Texas school, suspending a kid for helping a fellow student get medical treatment .
.. and the aircraft with 65,000 passengers …
But First …
The spruikers for an Australian Republic are out and about again, stirring up apathy around the country, seeking a (yawn) referendum on the issue.
An Australian republic is a good aim … and inevitable … but it’s not going to come about because of the unalloyed enthusiasm and carney barking by a few high profile heads in the latte set chatterati.
What they seem to miss is that for we as a nation to go to a referendum, we must have something to vote for, not just some fuzzy, feel-good idea. There must be a framework done BEFORE a vote, so we know what we are deciding on. And that isn’t going to happen quickly – for instance, with the aboriginal industry in full swing with opposing voices, how long will just that one single aspect of a republic take to be resolved?
A referendum without a clear plan and framework won’t happen, can’t happen and shouldn’t happen, there’s plenty of other things to take up all our time – like the economy, same sex marriage and the scandalous price hike of Tim Tams.
Bentley reckons Queen Liz has job security until the day she turns up her regal bunions … and probably well after Chazza makes his twisted sandshoe missus queen.
What A Crock … It’s A Con Job Charade.
From the dictionary:
charade | sh əˈrād|
noun
an absurd pretense intended to create a pleasant or respectable appearance
Getting lectured by the Townsville Bulletin about the evils and emotional turmoil of unemployment is grossly insulting in itself … after all, this is the newspaper that a few short years ago, during healthy economic times, sacked a third of its staff … more than 60 people … simply to implement the demonstrably disastrous ‘centralised sub-editing’ brainchild that saved a bit of money for News Ltd’s Sydney counting house. Must be said, the lack of cluey subs has given us a lot of laughs, though.
But when the Astonisher starts a self-congratulatory campaign that has the meaningless title ‘Let’s Get To Work’, the hypocrisy is mind-jarring enough. But the REAL motivation behind the campaign is insidious and sneaky.
The jobless are invited to send in contact details and resumes so the paper can connect them with possible employers.
Ben English, new Astonisher editor – full of self-praise.
On the face of it, the paper’s new editor Ben English comes up with a campaign idea aimed at selling more papers by making claims to help the jobless find work … and nothing too wrong with that although they’re empty claims, all feel good stuff and sales are sorely needed by the Astonisher. But despite lavish self-praise, the promise of assistance is negligible, if even that. There are well established avenues for job seekers and those seeking re-skilling, all working flat out without any cheerleading from the paper, but English makes it seems he is leading some sort of revolution. In the application form preamble, he also tells the blatant lie that the Townsville Bulletin is creating jobs. Unemployment has surged in recent years to an unacceptable level for our great city. We understand the issue and want to help. That’s why we’ve launched the ‘Let’s Get to Work’ campaign — creating much needed jobs for Townsville and linking the right candidates to potential employers.
Pure tosh that would make a pre-schooler raise a questioning eyebrow.
But so far, no real harm, just the usual flapping around the deck by a dying fish. Although giving false hope to the already stressed is not very admirable.
But On Closer Inspection
Then The ‘Pie had a closer dekko at the form. This is the main information requested.
Then after a couple of questions about hopes and aspirations, there is one final box you MUST tick for your form to be accepted.
The Magpie immediately wondered what terms and conditions could or should apply to a campaign like this … after all there is no prize to be vied for, The ‘Pie has never seen a terms and conditions attachment to a community campaign. And the paper has already said all information will be treated as confidential. Well, only sort of, on that last point.
The Small Print
Now, traditionally, terms and conditions are legal works as long as War and Peace, and virtually on one reads them … but on this occasion, The ‘Pie did.
And right from the get-go, the odour of rodent wafted heavily in the air. Time and again, there was reference to a prize or prizes, what might void a claim, who was eligible and much more.
What prizes? The puzzled ‘Pie double checked back, but nope, no prizes were on offer in this campaign. So this was a standard template the paper is legally required to print when granted permission to run a contest. So why bother in this instance?
Persistence revealed the reason clear as a neon on a dockside brothel. Ploughing on down, tucked away towards the bottom, are items 29 and 31. It’s a bit wordy, but this is the crux of the bastardry …
29. All entries become the property of The Promoter (with the exception of any intellectual property rights comprised therein). All opt-in entries will be entered into a database and The Promoter may use the entrant’s names, addresses and telephone numbers for future promotional, marketing and publicity purposes in any media worldwide without notice and without any fee being paid unless otherwise advised by the entrant. By opting-in, entrants confirm that they allow their details to be used for this purpose. If entrants no longer consent to their details being used for future marketing purposes, the entrant should contact The Promoter on their details set out below. Any request to update, modify or delete the entrant’s details should be directed to The Promoter.
31. The Promoter collects information about you, including for example your name and contact details which you provide when registering or using our services as well as information from data houses, social media services, our affiliates and other entities you deal or interact with for example by using their services. We collect and use that information to provide you with our goods and services, to promote and improve our goods and services, to provide you with targeted advertising based on your online activities, for the purposes described in our Privacy Policy and for any other purposes that we describe at the time of collection. We may disclose your information to our related companies, including those located outside Australia. Any of us may contact you for those purposes (including by email and SMS) at any time. We may also disclose your information to our service and content providers, including those located outside Australia.
It’s called data farming. So the paper is simply collecting information for a data bank … and in modern media, in monetary terms, that is the new gold or oil. These lists are sold for mega bucks, so people you’ve never heard of or dealt with can annoy the shit out of you with offers in which you have no interest. And they have your details. So those thinking they are being helped get work are simply being exploited in a con to get their personal information.
Also the paper gets a handy cross reference guide when there is a name linked to a crime, an accident or a story … a sort of private Facebook.
Let’s face it, in this campaign, the Townsville Bulletin can do little more than gain boring space fillers about jobs found, wanted, or the despair at their loss, which is very real but basically a private matter, and of bugger all interest to anyone else. But English cleverly counted on every one wanting their 15 minutes of fame, and getting their head in the paper.
Little do the entrants know the price they are being charged is their privacy being opened up to mercenary strangers.
Eloquence escapes The ‘Pie at this moment, so … you arseholes!!!
And This Response From A Man That Would Tell Us The Law Is An Ass.
Christopher Hughes, Qld Bar Association President
During the week, a letter appeared in the Astonisher from the Queensland Bar Association, taking editor English to task for his editorial criticising a District Court judge. The Bar Association President ended with this stinging but wholly justified salvo: ‘The statement in your editorial (that)’the decision handed down by Judge Durward SC yesterday, continues a worrying trend of weakening attitudes to crime in the city’ is unfair and patently incorrect. The Bar Association of Queensland has every confidence in Judge Durward SC’s ability and integrity, and condemns the Townsville Bulletin for publishing the editorial of January 22, 2016.The editorial was neither reasoned nor reasonable, which might be regarded as an important characteristic of proper journalism.
CHRISTOPHER HUGHES QC
President,
Queensland Bar Association
Our new Ed is probably still looking up ‘proper journalism’ but clearly missed the point of Mr Hughes complaint when he airily dismissed it with this response under the letter:
EDITOR’S NOTE:
The Townsville Bulletin will never resile from questioning and, at times, criticising judicial decisions. It is a vital cog in democratic society, in which the fourth estate strives to keep all arms of government – elected officials, the executive and the judiciary – accountable to the people.’
Just pompous mewlngs from someone who has clearly appointed himself the megaphone for the lowest common denominator in the hope of attracting sales. A vital cog in a democratic society is a press ensuring that people understand how the law operates and why … which clearly, Mr English, your Murdoch-bred hubris precludes you from doing.
PS If you must criticise the judiciary, at least get the bloody names right. Page 22, Sat Bulletin Jan 30. The judge who dismissed the application to re-open the matter of the death of Ayr Police Officer Mick Isles is Judge McGill – not Gill. A small matter of accuracy about which one cannot imagine your giving a rat’s arse, Mr English (and no, the irony of your name has not escaped anyone, sir.)
The Palmer Family At Home
Calm down, folks, it’s OK, at least one staffer at Queensland Nickel’s Yabulu plant will be OK. He’ll be able to get by, so don’t trouble yourself about him.
Clive Mensink, CEO Queensland Nickel
Boss of Yabulu Clive Mensink may miss out on some entitlements – indeed, he may plummet to 150kgs – but his modest accommodation seems to have no mortgage hanging over it.
Like his uncle, also a famous Clive, Mr Mensink will anxiously pace the rooms of his Gold Coast shack, awaiting the administrators’ report on the company finances. Given the size of his home, that pacing should also serve to keep him fit. At the very least, he should be charged with crimes against good taste in furniture.
Farmers make their pastures lush with superphosphate, commonly known as just ‘super’ … given Palmer and Mensink have clearly been out in lush paddocks ,one supposes that they’ve used ‘super’ too, only in their case, it’s the super owed to their employees.
t’s A Rumour Only, But …
You may recall reading here that a questionable crowd called LTSC (Long Term Settlement Contracts) had supposedly engaged financial sleaze bag Craig Gore to advise them about ‘rejuvenating’ the Hinchinbrook Resort in Cardwell.
The LTSC look to have all the possibilities of a perfect scam. That started alarm bells around the place, because it was widely believed LTSC management was just a front for the warned-off Gore. Gore has since decamped to the US, where he is currently and permanently hiding out to avoid a possible jail sentence here. Now The ‘Pie hears that LTSC front man, a bloke named Airds has ‘flown the coop and gone back to NZ’.
The ‘Pie’s informant told him ‘Don’t know full story yet, but apparently the V8 Super cars got stung $60 – 85,000.00 for advertising, and went after them.’
Although he has impeccable sources, Magpie’s deep throat insists that it is only a rumour.
If it is, The ‘Pie will say ‘oops, so sorry’.
Suddenly There Are Four …
Council candidate Joanne Keune
Old leftie Labor hoofer and (it seems) perennial law student Joanne Keune has thrown her knitted beanie into the Division 4 ring for the council elections.
She joins other independent hopeful sparky Guy Reece, who went within 50 preference votes of knocking off the now retiring Jenny Lane last time around . Won’t be quite the same topsy turvey allegiance-hopping this time around, but it still looks like fun.
But this begs a question.
They will be up against local businessman Marcel Mcleod for GI Jayne, and Mayor Mullet’s man Mark Molichino, whose main past involvement – if memory serves – has been with the fancy dress fringe mob the Fishing Party. None of the four have yet said anything really noteworthy, but that from the view of a magpie that doesn’t live in that divvy.
However, passing strange that Ms Keune has opted in. On the face of it, she is a known Laborite, as is Mayor Mullet, so her presence would appear likely to take votes away from Mullet man Molochino. That could favour Arlett’s McLeod, but then we have the unknown Reece factor.
The ‘Pie has unreliably heard that Ms Keune unsuccessfully batted her eyelids at Mayor Mullet for a team spot, didn’t make it but has decided to have a gallop anyway.
Seems it’s going to be a wild old time in the Upper Ross, but way too early to make some rash statement.
Waiting … Waiting …
However, while we’re in that neck of the woods, seems more than a few around town are waiting for the other boot to drop. They are convinced that last time around (despite vehement denials) that The Mullet manoeuvred Jeff Jimmison into the race to take votes off Dale Last. Townsville being Townsville – ya just gotta love ‘em, haven’t ya? – that surmise was strengthened when Jimmison landed a plum event organizing job with council, despite a chequered career in that area in the private sector.
So now, there are those waiting for another Mullet plant to pop up, bright and bushy-tailed, with all sorts of denials at the ready, to have a dip. For, as always, the purest of motives. But who could run as a spoiler against Arlett? Won’t be JT anyway … he’d beat them both. Easily.
The Frogs Tell The Iranians ‘Mais Merde Non’ … An International Object Lesson.
The newly sanitised Iranian Government – goodies this week, next week, who knows? – is out and about in Europe, shopping for billions of dollars worth of all manner of things to replace the dilapidated infrastructure left after years of sanctions. But far from being chastened by the experience, the Iranian president wanted it all his way, and demanded that a special diplomatic lunch put on by their French hosts be a halal affair – with no grog!
The French, bless ‘em, disregarding the possible loss of lucrative trade, told the Iranians - in French presumably – to get rooted. And cancelled the event.
And the world cheered – except the toady Italians … they even covered up nude statues just in case the ayatollah got a hard on.
As Polythene Pam told The ‘Pie …’I just love the French’.
Tales of The Texas Derangers
Still on the international circuit, it was case of from Lone Star state to Nanny State, when a teacher in Texas proved to be a Texas Deranger with a ruling that has flabbergasted parents and fellow students.
A kid was suspended for a day for helping an asthmatic suffering a severe attack make it to the school nurses’s office.
Must be something they’ve slipped into the water in Texas schools. Another kid was suspended for 30 days and sent to ‘an alternative school’ i.e. a sort of borstal – for giving her inhaler to another asthmatic who also couldn’t breathe.
In this one, The ‘Pie liked the caustic observation of one commenter.
Crusty Juggler|1.14.16 @ 5:22PM|#
What’s next? It is a pretty slippery slope. First, it is asthma medication, then it is pills, vodka-soaked tampons, STD’s, and then a jail cell. All because of guys like you.
Table Of Contents
Ever had those awkward moments, when you’re in a restaurant, and having ordered, are trying to get lubricated enough to let the conversation flow. One restaurant in France has come up with a spell-binding innovation that will have you wishing that the food doesn’t come too quickly.
The Plane With 65,000 Passengers
In sport, pre-match entertainment is a sometimes thing, boring or embarrassing, particularly at NRL and AFL finals (NO ONE MENTION MEATLOAF!!!). But they can be good, both for the crowd and the sponsors. Emirates Airlines recently came up with the formula … brief … and brilliant.
