It’s exclusive because you sure as hell won’t read it in the Townsville Bulletin. Put simply, Gill and his southern bosses have just lost an (albeit legal) out-and-out rort worth tens of thousands.
Also this week … can you sum up Townsville in a single appropriate word? The ‘Pie can, and does. The old bird’s life-long fascination with bright shiny lexical trinkets has again proved there is a word for everything. And he has found the exact one for the Townsville of today.
Want any proof why ratepayers should lobby long and hard against the TCC creating its own development corporation? The damning case against such a move unfolded during the week.
The Magpie reveals how he voted in the SSM referendum, and why …
The strange silence of Rabieh Krayem on the demise of the Fury soccer entity … has the Astonisher fallen out of love with one of its favourite sons?
But first …
That Same Sex Marriage Survey … What A Cock-Up.
He that complies against his will
Is of his own opinion still
Which he may adhere to, yet disown,
For reasons to himself best known
Samuel Butler 17th century
We are all used to politicians not doing their jobs, and all becoming Canberra’s representative in their electorates rather than the other way around, as it should be.
But this abrogation of responsibility regarding the SSM survey which is both cynical and expensive, is nothing short of a slap in the face to the whole community, a form of bullying. And just by its very nature, massively divisive, there really aren’t going to be any winners, this survey ensures we all lose. Traditionalists who object to the use of the word marriage and advocates seeking to be able to share the word in a new way – someone is going to be disenfranchised one way or the other. And the resentment will be driven underground, and intensified by the frustration of it seemingly coming from a public vote on a private matter.
But ticking that survey box has become a very personal act, and was rightly a job for those we elected to debate and decide. So this also raises yet again the question of leadership. A Magpie mate summed it up in a message during the week.
‘I’m surprised how strongly I feel sick taking part in a decision making process on whether one group of humans in our society can have the same laws as everyone else applied to them. Also how ridiculous it is to be asked by this fucked up piss weak excuse for federal leadership we have, on what we should do on this issue.
If that’s the case at least some consistency – I want a survey question on giving asylum to refugee kids in unlawful detention; on locking in a clean energy target; but especially on whether we should establish a Federal ICAC.
I also felt a little bit sad when a friend – a woman with a long term partner and two sons (birthed by them) who are now happy healthy teenagers… saying ’thank you’ on my post. She shouldn’t have to be grateful that ‘we’ have decided to vote yes.
It’s just so fucked up.
Quite so.
So What Did The Magpie Do
One thing is certain. The outcome of the vote is almost irrelevant – no matter what those dissemblers and self-interested twisters in Canberra say – they will do whatever is expedient to keep their ample arses on the well paid plush. That includes spinning the outcome to punt it into the tall grass for another couple of years, if they think it will cover their arses.
Any one who know The Magpie will know that he doesn’t take kindly to bullying or bullshit, and he has been getting it from all directions, but mainly Canberra. So he made an easy decision on this vote.
Tore up the letter and binned it.
Bentley Is Bothered, Too
Bentley is as ever the joker who refreshingly refuses to take things too seriously. He was astonished at Cory Bernardi and Eric Abetz’s dire prediction that SSM is the thin edge of the wedge, with bestiality and even inanimate objects the next targets of love and lust. He takes a Cory-eye view of possible problems during solemn ceremonies.
Others are also a tad confused.
Speaking Of Cock-Ups …
Regular commenter Memory Man has his dander up today, with the Astonisher’s patronizing and pointless piece of brown-nosing of flim flam exponent, yesterday’s advertising man Don Morris and that pure nonsense by the Pure Projects mob about how we should do tourism here. Mr Morris apparently excels at condescension.
Take it away, Memory Man.
What a sad, pathetic piece of puffery. Poor old Pure Projects were ushered into Townsville under great fanfare. Their signature proposal proved ultimately to be a straight rip-off from an idea developed first for Cairns. The Old Bird blew that apart with a bit of help from his friend Google Search. In fact, that’s probably the same research assistant the Pure Project folk used to dream up the lagoon, with the exception that ratepayers paid a motza for PP and not a Zac to the Magpie. (EDITOR’S NOTE: The Magpie Approves of your attitude, MM).
Worse, anyone with half a brain in environmental and development law will tell you that the lagoon idea was dead in the water (no apologies for a shit pun, because that’s what this fiasco deserves) from the get-go. It runs 100% counter to the State’s coastal management policy, including those little turtle that scramble up the Strand for breeding. That pretty well put a predictable kibosh on the lagoon thought-bubble. Dumb, dumb, dumb.
With no traction on anything else, the poor PP blokes have been wheeled out to prattle on about civic pride. Oh dear. That’s all they’ve got in their locker, by the looks of it. And those twats at the Dudley Do Noihings think we are oh so lucky to have Donny Morris give us a pat on the head.
Give us all a break. And give the ratepayers a refund, Mr Morris. We’ll gladly take half, because admittedly, your pithy analysis and exposes in your first report laid bare the consequences of a decade of complacency, ineptitude and cronyism. The problem is your second report was largely ill conceived flimflam.
As for those twits in Walker St that hired you, they should just do the honourable thing and ask the Premier to appoint administrators.
The Mullet Makes An Honest Man Of Anthony ‘Simpo’ Templeton
Simpo is back!! He is the right man for the right job.
During the days when he infested the Astonisher offices, Tony Templeton was known in these electronic pages as Simpo – too long to write Simpleton every time. And before Barry The Foghorn Taylor thinks of trying to talk Simpo into suing the old bird, The ‘Pie is fully justified in applying the term in its meaning of ‘foolish or gullible person’ – judging by the one-sided dross he regurgitated direct from Mayor Mullet’s mouth into the paper back then.
Anthony Simpo Templeton
But it is no lazy quip about this mayoral appointment making an honest man of Simpo. He will continue to write his one-sided spin but this time, that is what he will be paid and expected to do as a PR flak. He will be doing an honest job, at least according to his job description, which will be mercifully free of words like ‘fairness’, ‘balance’, ‘integrity’ and so on..
And his track record for selective bias in his stories at the paper won’t be a problem; his shimmering media releases of Mullet hagiography will be printed word for word by the Astonisher and parroted by an unquestioning electronic media (even the ABC is gun shy lately of doing its job thoroughly).
The Magpie welcomes you back, Simpo, a fitting position for a man of your talents.
A Single Word Can Say Volumes – Choosing The Right One Is The Trick
There is a word for everything in this world, most of them virtually unknown through disuse, (useless factoid: the name of the wheel on a wheelbarrow is a trindle … there ya go, you’ll be dinner party star).
The other day, The ‘Pie bumped into an old word he had forgotten, and talk about serendipity (the happy knack of finding something useful by accident, coined by Horace Walpole in The Three Princes of Serindip (Ceylon actually). Save that for when – and if – you are invited back to a second dinner party.)
But this happy accident was the word that just screamed Townsville 2017. It is ‘kakocracy’, and its derivative exponents ‘kakocrats’. It means government by the worst people. Other definitions add ‘despicable’ to the description, while yet another more genteel Oxford dictionary definition ‘government by the least suitable or competent citizens of the state.’ It is the opposite of ‘meritocracy’.
Our merry band of kakocrats could not have been chosen for the word more fittingly. The expensive, idiotic shambles that we now find ourselves enjoying is precisely down to Kween of the Kakocrats Mayor Mullet. In short order, she trashed the considerable cultural reputation of the city, trundled in fellow kakocrat Adele The Impaler Young to scythe through council staff, in the process losing forever valuable intellectual and historical memory of the community, coerced a compliant Astonisher into a dozen meaningless ‘if’, ‘could’ and ‘maybe’ photo op stories of no substance and ingenuous promise, scotched a major CBD development that could have been a pivotal spark to recovery and then – god help us – tried to bully Qantas and Jetstar into fleecing travellers using the airport by calling for a boycott of the airlines if they didn’t agree to a $3 ticket tax to fund QAL’s planned and unecessary airport upgrade. Yeah, sure, as if … we all know how that turned out. Our mayor’s empty bluffing was so subtle it might as well have been written on a Post It note stuck to the forehead of the severed head of Alan Joyce’s favourite horse.
Then we have the deaf mute, arm-raising aerobics class of a council who qualify as kakocrats as well. No boat rockers here, yeronner.
Astonisher iditor Ben Bogan English is a very speial ‘K’, with his mesmerizing brand of wheedling, foot stomping, begging, assumption of entitlement and squeaking idtorial/front pages that vary wildly from risible ‘Paradise Enow (or soon)’ headlines to ‘ Teen Crimsville’ and back again in a regular, stupefying cycle. Throw in the simpering sock puppet CEO of the Dudley Do Nothings, Li’l Patty O’Callaghan and the gormless Kevin Gill (at least his inept attempts at being devious provide some comic relief) and we could make this a small novella called ‘Kacocracy City Kock-Up.
A reality TV show can’t be far away.
What Should Be Far Away Should Be Any Thought Of A TCC Development Corporation
Even under normal local government circumstances, The ‘Pie is yet to see any real reason for a council … any council … to create another layer of obfuscation in the form of a ‘development corporation ‘. But with the current people in power, this could look like an open invitation to corruption on a big scale – but easily hidden. Couldn’t happen, you reckon? Look southwards folks, and keep in mind Mayor Mullet’s was a professed admirer of Ipswich’s administration.
Former Ipswich mayor and Mullet mate Paul Pisasale looks like he’s heading for pokey for associated jiggery pokery. Just to be safe and certain, a development corporation is the last thing we need. Let’s get what we’ve got running right first.
The Astonisher Shuns An Old Favourite
Hey, the Fury soccer club is no more. The Queensland soccer hierarchy have ditched the name and colours, and are starting over with a new identity and new management under Glen Minty Mintern. And that means the Fury name is now worthless, no one wants it.
But boy did you see what Mr Fury himself, Rabieh Krayem, the holder of the rights to the Fury name had to say about that? Well, no you didn’t, not in the Astonisher.. But why, you all cry? Well, The ‘Pie will let a commenter from Thursday speculate.
The Lone Ranger
September 14, 2017 at 9:58 am (Edit)
Has there been a falling out between Ben Bogan and his good mate Rabieh Krayem?
Two stories about the NQ Fury (the long overdue ditching of its name, colours and logo) in two days and not one quote from Krayem, who ran the show until he stepped down earlier this year due to public demand.
But he was on Channel 7 News last night suggesting that the Fury name and logo was invaluable because it was known both nationally and internationally.
He’s right about that. The Fury which didn’t win a single game in 2016, was a laughing stock in football circles. Could it be that Krayem’s interest in keeping the name and logo alive revolves around who owns them and trying to get an earn out of flogging them off?
So why didn’t Ben Bogan do as Channel 7 did last night and get a few quotes from Krayem?
Wouldn’t have anything to do with News Ltd being dragged into Krayem’s defamation case against the Magpie would it?
Well, that is as it may be, but since Rabieh fell for Barry ‘The Legal Foghorn’ Taylor’s urging him sue The Magpie, the Rabstar had better get a few shekels in the kitty, to cover the inevitable costs he will be landed with at the end of the day. Even if he wins, which he won’t. Because when it comes to charging, The Foghorn is the envy of scrub bulls everywhere.
The Real Reason Kevin Gill Is Upset With Jetsar
In a nutshell, Gill and his southern bosses at Queensland Airports Ltd are seething … because Townsville Airport is losing a massive (albeit legal) rort worth tens of thousands of dollars.
Airport boss and TEL chairman Kevin Gill
The airline/airport saga remains mired in desperate, incomplete and incorrect claims in the Townsville Bulletin about Jetstar dropping the Townsvville-Bali service. The Townsville Bulletin is feigning great indignity on behalf of a disinterested and misinformed community, but here are a few facts that the paper and Gill don’t want you to know.
For a start, it was never a Townsville/Bali flight in reality … it was a Brisbane–Townsville-Bali flight, flying to Townsville as a domestic flight, disembarking the Brisbane passengers (usually better than half a plane load) who trooped into the terminal and then went through customs with locals to re-join the now internationally designated flight. Because of customs, the Brisbane folk had to collect baggage for customs inspection, since in Brisbane it was a domestic flight..
But here’s the thing. Those Brisbane folk were counted as terminal users the moment they set foot inside the door, and attracted an airport ‘Out Goings’ fee paid by the airline. And Jetstar was also hit with the same charge from Brisbane Airport (not a QAL business). So the airline was being hit twice in a nice little earner.
Cute, eh, especially from a bloke who is charged with running the board of the ratepayer funded outfit Townsville Enterprise charged with making Townsville an attractive and affordable destination. If things go much further, we might have to start calling it Criminal Enterprise.
He’s Not Called Donald The Douche For No Reason.
Trump’s modus operandi doesn’t appear all that different from his North Korean counter-part, to the point where some believe he should have a make-over including a new name.
Let’s face it, the world’s most powerful man is a complete klutz. When it comes to sensitivity, probity and common decency, Donald Trump makes Clive Palmer look like mother Teresa (although Clive’s diet would have to go a bit longer for that to approach reality). Back flipping, tweeting outright lies, trying to make his business profit from hurricane devastation and helicoptering off for a golf weekend in mid crisis … these are now regarded as run-of-the-mill Donald.
Have a look at this actual ad for his Doral Hotel in Miami a few days ago.
That spawned a torrent of spoof ads suggesting The Donald will do anything for a quid. This is the best.
The Weekly WTF Moment Of The Astonisher.
Back to words again and another handy phrase nowadays is ‘cognitive dissonance’, mental discomfort (psychological stress) experienced by a person who simultaneously holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values. Seems someone at the Bulletin is a sufferer, That’s the only explanation surely for this headline over this text:
The Things You See On A Golf Course
A Magpie mate tells The ‘Pie he was out at Rowes Bay for nine holes t’other day. Waiting for his tee time, he was admiring a comely a blonde hitting off . But he said she took such an almighty mis-swing so lusty she fell over quite heavily.
Aaron Harper was in the group behind her , and he quickly stepped forward and helped her to her feet. She thanked him and started to leave, when Aaron said, ‘I’m Aaron Harper and I hope you’ll vote Labor in the next election”.
She looked at for a second then smiled sweetly and said:”I fell on my arse, mate, not on my head.”
………………………
That’s our lot for this week, but as you can see, the comments during the week have been lively, informative and very funny. Stick your beak in and have your say, it’s free. And if you enjoyed the fun, feel free to drop a donation into the Nest to keep the blog toddling along. The how to donate button is below.
