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The Magpie

Sunday, August 26th, 2018   |   172 comments

Crumbs, With Friends Like This … Labor Will Make Mincemeat Of ScoMo, according to Townsville’s Most Successful Lib – And He’s Right.

What a spray … ‘the government will lose BIG TIME’ … Prince Peter of Lindsay, the former Laird of Herbert, was about as subtle as a grenade in bowl of porridge when The ‘Pie sought his opinion of the Canberra circus. He also names his preference for PM.

While all eyes and ears were on Canberra, the Jenna and Jenny soap opera continued apace with the Astonisher honking on its unquestioning way about the mayor’s favourite unicorn, that battery factory … but oops! The story gave away a clue for the collusion.

And The ‘Pie welcomes another Impaler-sponsored snout into the Townsville trough … this join-the-dots is a slam dunk, it defies coincidence.

And the absolute best ‘gotcha’ out of the Canberra circus … apart from the party room vote.

Plus another bumper gallery of The Trumpet’s week.

But frst …

At Least We Didn’t Get A Prime Monster

So Darth Potatohead tried to be a bit too clever by half, and thankfully got his sinister, egotistical bollocks kicked by colleagues who wanted some slim chance of keeping their well padded arses on the Canberra plush come next election.

But this glittering prize nowadays has all the tawdry cheapness of a dance hall glitter ball – Scott ScoMo Morrison has a job ahead that makes herding cats look like a stroll in the park. But Bentley reckons he’ll give it a red hot go, even if he does have to borrow George Christiansen’s treasured disciplinary prop.

morrison small

And as it always is in the Canberra circus, faces didn’t change just at the top … the back bench is starting to look like a vegetable garden.

lnp

It is certainly true that politics makes strange bedfellows, and none stranger than former member for Herbert Peter Lindsay and … The Magpie!! After a couple of decades of (metaphorically only please note) pulling the blankets off each other, we have found ourselves in total agreement this week.

Peter Lindsay

Peter Lindsay

Prince Peter, who recently quit the Queensland LNP in disgust at their electoral ineptitude (he now bizarrely belongs to the ACT Libs), our Pete doesn’t feel any constraint on offering a free character reading to his former colleagues. After more than three decades of lying for living (every politician’s lot in life), he could hardly contain his glee when The ‘Pie asked him for his take on it all. Quoth he:

You will already know how I feel but for the record: This has been a very bad outcome for the government! Julie Bishop is the most popular conservative pollie with no baggage. She had the potential to lead the Coalition to victory at the next election. But she was overlooked. While Morrison is a very capable person, he will face a ferocious campaign run by Labor. They  will say he was the architect of the plan to give the big banks a $17 billion corporate tax cut and was 100% behind every toxic trickle-down policy of the Turnbull Government like: Cuts to penalty rates, Slashing funding to schools & hospitals and stablishing the ABCC and the Registered Organisations Commission that organised police raids on union offices. Labor will point to Scott Morrison’s record as Treasurer by saying wages are stagnant, inequality is at 70-year highs and 40% of Australians are in insecure work.

In my opinion, the Government will now LOSE the next election – Big time!

And to add a touch more venom to his opinion, he emailed George Christiansen’s full page ad in the Astonisher to his colleagues this morning.

chritiansen apology

Sometimes you wish that Trump’s twister-in-chief Rudi Guliani was right, that ‘truth isn’t truth.’ But we’re stuck with it.

The Best Gotcha Of The Week

Noted in comments during the early turmoil.

The Magpie

August 23, 2018 at 9:25 am  (Edit)

Best Comeback of the Year!!!

Screen shot 2018-08-23 at 8.58.01 AM

You mess with The Bishop at your peril … as that hole-in-the air Karl Stefanovic found out while interviewing Deputy PM and Foreign Affairs Minister Julie Bishop, early on in the kerfuffle..
He never been too bright – Stefanovic tanked in the rating and nearly lost his job at the Nine Breakfast show earlier this year after a derogatory private conversation in a Uber was recorded and widely circulated in the media. So it was leading with his chiselled chin when, referring to Turnbull, the dolt asked. ‘What is it like talking to a man who is on death row?’
Smiling sweetly, Ms Bishop replied, ’Well, I’m talking to you, Karl, what are you suggesting?’
The ‘Pie would vote for her just for that … and so would most Australians for better reasons.

While We’re In Canberra …

A friend’s mum sent this to a Magpe mate. As if a social photographer’s job isn’t hard enough, now there are all sorts of foreign names they have to note down. Like these two ANU students.

unnamed

More Baffling Battery Bullshit

IMG_1724

There was a baffling story in the Astonisher this week about that blue sky battery factory that Mayor Mullet keeps honking on about, in the hope of saving her electoral skin. It has always been puzzling that a publicly listed company is seeking government funds for a feasibility study to decide if a ion battery factory is a viable proposition for Townsville. Public companies NEVER seek public money to explore whether an idea is worth their while, that’s what stock exchanges and venture capital are for. Normally, if they did ask, they’d rightly be to told GFY.

But we have previously been told that pipsqueak urger Magnis Resources will be the beneficiary of such an unusual move. Premier Alphabet is on record saying she will stump up $3.5million for a feasibility study to decide whether siting such a factory in Townsville would be a goer.

But will she? The wording of the government statement in the story is a bit strange. The story begins by telling us that the government has signed a crucial ‘assistance agreement’ for the proposed factory. Then further on, this: ‘The Government has also committed up to $3.1million for a feasibility study into the battery project. Ms (sic) Palaszczuk said today’s assistance agreement would support the delivery of the feasibility study.’

‘Support the delivery of ‘…? ‘Assistance agreement’? And then in the next sentence, the Premier says ‘… and by assisting the progress of the feasibility study of this project’ it would encourage private investment.

‘Assisting the progress of …’? Has there been either a change of mind, or some verbal sleight of tongue? And then, at the very end of the story, we have Infrastructure Minister Cameron Dick revealing that ‘following the feasibility study completion, we expect (consortium leader) Imperium# will make a final investment decision by mid-2020.‘

Gosh, mayor, that would be AFTER the next local government election, due in March 2020. So we won’t really know if it’s a goer until after you’ve been – you hope – re-elected on the promise of this jobs, jobs, jobs initiative of yours. Nothing to do with you then, if it falls over, eh?

Jenny Hill

From the outset. The ‘Pie has been of the opinion that this is a cruel deception of selling hope to a stricken town by a politician who will stop at nothing to remain in the mayoral office. The ‘Pie is aware that there are those readers who think this is a bit far-fetched , so it will be interesting to see what those doubters think of the latest join-the-dots.

More Trough Stacking

It appears for some reason, that our mayor needs a special consultant to advise her on the Magnis Resources battery factory proposal, other than the company itself – The ‘Pie imagines the advice would be along the lines of if she can get away with it.

Enter one George Addison. It’s all a bit vague, but The ‘Pie’s spies say that Mr Addison specialises in a fairly broad brush field of ‘government consultancy’, has been seen in and around the Walker Street offices of both the mayor and council CEO Adele The Impaler Young.

Now just who might be paying Mr Addison’s no doubt handsome consultancy fees, and for what exactly,  isn’t clear but as luck would have it, he needs no introduction in Walker Street. And why wouldn’t he want to see Ms Young, surely they’re old mates from days of yore in the NT, as clearly reported here.

This is Mr Addison’s CV.

Addison history

It would seem that his stint as Northern Territory ALP Party Secretary would be … ummm, let’s see, ah yes … that would be about the time a certain Adele Young was deeply in involved in party matters up there. So, gosh, you’d think they’d know each other, might even be friends.

And his two stints in ministerial offices would give him a good working knowledge of Labor’s backroom boys (although it isn’t mentioned which state the ministers were from –  although one must raise an eyebrow at the one month stint in Labor kingmaker Joe Ludwig’s office … maybe George didn’t get on with Joe, who knows.

The Magpie is led to believe that his constant popping in and out of Townsville is all to do only with the battery factory, which is receiving support from our Labor premier.

(Sigh) Gawd help us if this council development corporation gets involved in the battery matter, and is able to hide behind spurious Commercial in Confidence secrecy. Like they did in Ipswich.

A Computerised Comrade For The Townsville Hospital.

Interesting yarn this week about Townsville Hospital being chosen to trial a robot named Pepper in an actual clinical situation, providing patients with information and directions. But it’s a mystery why Townsville Hospital was chosen for the trial. Or is it? Maybe Pepper has spilled the beans.

Robot qualifications

On A Wing And A Prayer

Now this is a only a rumour mind you, rare for this august blog of truth, justice and The Magpie way, but the old bird hears that in a bold secret move, TEL has sought backing from the Adani group to start our own Townsville international airline! It is understood that Gotem Adani himself has agreed to finance the venture. This has all been super secretive but The ‘Pie has managed to get hold of one of the first photograph’s of Kevin Gill’s new pride and joy when he and Mr Adani took a number of dignitaries up for a trial flight.

TELAir

Mr Gill has indicated that such a venture cannot be wholly provided by one group, and so he will be seeking a ticketing premium on the seven classes on each flight. These will range from top of the line First Caste through to Economy, Super Low Economy and the innovative Good Luck, Hang On class. There is also a class where people can smoke, on the roof of the aircraft … this class is called If You Can Light It, You Can Smoke It.

The Daily Astonisher has described the new airline a as a ‘game changer’ … if you’re game, it’ll sure change yer.

Wonder How Townsville Newsagents Feel About This

They’re at it again…

Screen shot 2018-08-26 at 12.03.51 AM

… hundreds of Weekend Bulletins available for free at the kids Saturday soccer fields. These had been largely ignored. About a thousand people go to kids soccer … there are about 700 papers. Wonder if the message is getting through.

And On The World Stage, Our Look At The Week In Trumpitania.

Trump dominos Trump guilt Trump tentacles Trump vice Trump felons Trump tarriffs Trump bigotry Trump Towqer 2020 Trump banana Trump not happening trump low bar Trump scream Trump he said he said Trump mirror

Worth Hearing

Rowan Atkinson on free speech – funny people can be thoughtful, too. 

And As If We Didn’t Know From Our Local Paper, Reading Isn’t Always Believing.

parking sign unnamed-1……..

That’s yer lot for this week, but keep an eye on the lively comments, join in, it’s there for you to have your say … and plenty are. And if you like the stuff here each week, feel free to show your appreciation with a donation to help The ‘Pie parry those constant costs associated with the blog. The donate button is below.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.

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