We’re Used To Election Bullshit, But This? Jenny Hill Adds Actual Shit To Her Re-Election Campaign.

There will be plenty of puns about the re-appearance of raw sewage in Wulguru backyards, but this is far from funny – this continuing council fail is a serious public health and safety issue,  criminal in its negligence.  So what went wrong with the promised plumbing fix? The Magpie has the likely answer.

Mayor Mullet’s re-election campaign pitch is an alternative reality straight out of the Donald Trump playbook. But will enough people be deluded by it? Sadly,  because of the lack of viable, funded opposition, the answer seems to be yes.

The lists are back!! Tired of the everyday ‘cutest bub’,  ‘best hairdresser/hamburger/proctologist’ and guff like ‘Townsville’s top spots for accidental up-skirt glimpses’, the Daily Astonisher,  bereft of actual news, this weekend gives us ‘Ranked:  Townsville’s 50 Most Influential And Inspirational Women.  But although it may be light-weight flummery  there is one big problem,  which raises a couple of questions.

Are we facing a con just as big and just as damaging as the Voice To Parliament had it succeeded? The report released this week about a perceived gender pay gap is exactly that, a con job, with the possible outcome way more damaging than any other recent socio-economic issue.

And speaking of con jobs, conning the conners American style – a TV show does a street poll with an hilarious and clever twist that is both funny and deeply disturbing at the same time … how can so many people be so obviously nuts?

The Nest has been a bit of a battle this week. It was put together over three days using two ancient shonky keyboards … features that didn’t work on one (back space, certain sticky keys, taking screen shots, copying and pasting etc) worked on the other one … bit comical but time consuming and frustrating, something that The ‘Pie  trusts won’t have to become a habit.  Both the Nest’s hardware and software need upgrades, – we’ve been knocking out this blog on them from October 2010, 14 years – and since 80/90% of the usage is Nest related,  I am personally over my embarrassment of seeking a bit of financial support for this alternative Townsville voice. Better software will mean a better, more entertaining and visually diverse offering – can’t guarantee the writing will be any better though.  So any support you can offer with a donation (which will only ever go towards blog-related matters) will result in a better weekly read. The donate button is at the end of the blog (no, sorry, not tax deductible) – and a sincere thanks to those who have already lent their generous support to keep us flying.

Now onward.

Putting Her Foot In It

The campaign trail can get a bit boggy at times, as Mayor Mullet and her latest pet poodle (sorry Team Hill candidate) found out during the week, when a number of residents in Wulguru had – yet again – a ‘brown out’ that had nothing to do with electricity.

Just when you thought it was safe to go out in your backyard again, the Wulguru Seeping Sewage Saga returned in all its smelly, hazardous glory.  For those lucky enough to not be familiar with this disgraceful situation, a number of backyards in Wulguru are subject to an invasion of soggy floating Richard The Thirds and associated effluvium when it rains more than just a shower (which is at least every wet season).

But wait, you say, didn’t Jenny eventually (after a couple of years) direct that this matter was to not nice and that it had to be fixed?

Well, yes,  a while back the TCC hi-vis forces ambled out, wandered around peering into pipes and doing smoke tests to pinpoint the problem, before it was decided that a new pump station for the area was the answer and duly built (well duh!) But therein lies another shitty story, according to reliable info coming into the Nest during the week.

The original tender, let to a private firm, was rescinded when the council decided to cut financial corners and do an in-house build. Which they did, but with one small problem:  presumably to save money, they installed cheaper equipment which was not up to the job, and voila! like a walking dead zombie, the problem returned – smelling like a walking dead zombie, too. (Maybe that should better be a Walker Street Dead Zombie).

The funniest view in a very unfunny situation came from Team Hill candidate Ben Fusco,  talking to the Astonisher.

Neither do the resident, Benny boy,  but isn’t this something you should be in the mayor’s face about, if you are a genuine local rep (and a worthy Div 10 successor to Fran O’Callaghan)? And mate, are you expecting a herogram for promising that an immediate follow-up for what you yourself call an unacceptable situation? (Good luck passing that sentiment on to your boss.)

But while this failure was really no surprise to many familiar with madam mayor and her TCC executive,  what did take many, including The ‘Pie, unawares was the impression that Jenny Hill, with her T Hill candidate Ben Fusco in tow, turned up for an inspection and ‘talk to the residents’.  But hang on, why would the mayor turn up at the site that has no upside for her office this time around – no record of her doing so before despite constant requests from residents? Oh damn, that’s right,  she’s in the middle of a re-election campaign.  But in thinking about it, it was in all likelihood just another  phone call from the lavishly appointed, lavender scented mayor’s office with its three hot and cold running mayoral advisors.  Indeed, on-site inspections come with electoral risks,  as Bentley envisioned the scene.

This is just the latest in a long story of shame and council incompetence over a number of years. And while The ‘Pie and everyone else can make punny jokes about it, this not in the least bit funny.  In a normal community, it would be completely intolerable, an abject failure in responsibility for public health and safety, which would not be tolerated for a day or a week, let alone years, by any other responsible council. There would be an external inquiry for sure.

The Magpie is NOT overstating the case here, because while the filth and accompanying serious health hazards are restricted to a small area,  it is (so far) just good fortune that hasn’t been spread further afield by animals, both wild and domesticated, birds (and the occasional 2-legged feral checking out late night transport options).

But for reasons unfathomable, this doesn’t seem to have cut through with the wider community, who have unwisely decided ‘not my problem’.  If Townsville ever decides to adopt a civic saint, The Magpie suggests St Monica, the patron saint of tolerance and patience. Or better still, this bloke.:

There is actually a patron saint of Fools. Saint Simeon, the Holy Fool, a sixth-century monk, is revered as the patron saint of “holy fools and puppeteers.”

Perfect.

But Surely The Beatification Of St Jenny Is Just Around The Corner

Beautification might be a bit more than could be expected, but what a well deserved sainthood it would be – and not just because she makes so many people exclaim ‘Jesus Christ!!’ more than anyone else in the city.  It seems she is aiming to become Saint Alice of Wonderland. the patron saint of make-believe. The Hill hallucinations have been on go from the get-go.

For starters,  she tells it,  we owe her another term on her past performance. (Stop laughing, give  ‘er a go.)

According to Jenny’s History Of Townsville (called her campaign launch) wouldn’t have got through Covid without (‘steered Townsville through Covid’ is her claim … no mention of the two deeply demented  women in Brisbane who made all the loopy cowardly decisions that greatly exacerbated that issue with their decisions, and that the TCC had absolutely bugger all to do with managing the epidemic, beyond doing what Brisbane said.  But in this report from Seven News (nary a searching question in sight) she made this statement:  ‘In 2017, we had an unemployment rate of 17% and 25% youth unemployment . Now we’ve got some of the lowest unemployment in the state, if not Australia.’  That’s a truly strange campaigning message, Jenny, since in 2017, you’d been mayor for 5 years – if you claim you’ve fixed things up employment-wise now, (it’s bullshit, but for the sake of argument) then you have to accept that in 2017, you’d been mayor for five years and therefore must – by the same yardstick – take some responsibility for the jobs blow out back then. And just what are the figures, you declined to say, no comparatives.

But it was then that the Hill hokum went into overdrive when it comes to any council role in affordable housing (which it really has no business being in anyway). So what’s St Jenny’s plan?

You guessed it, she says she plans to make the (contaminated ) North Rail Yards a hub for affordable  units for families, young people and those who’ve fallen on hard times.’ And you’re going to -haha gasp – approach the  – haha wait for it – state government to fund the project (gasp, wheeze chortle). Ah ha, splutter, Jen, luvvie, your former BFF Anna Alphabet, knowing that the remediation work would be at a stupendous cost, suckered you into buying the rail yards way back when for a price ($20,000) that would make a toddler suspicious.  And making it your baby. You;’ve been trying to squirm out of this massive misjudgement for years,  and still you haven’t a clue what to do with a site that will, until heritage and other nanny state law are changed will remain a white elephant. And an ugly monument to your hubristic stupidity with public money.

List Lunacy

‘The Bulletin just can’t seem to help itself … we see it every day with idiocy, insult  and laziness ranging over wide variety of subjects.  This weekend’s contribution is a doozy.

The paper’s annual hole filler of the ‘most influential’ among the city’s Nescafe Society has always been good for a laugh, and seems to meet the expectation nof empty argument and genteel mud slinging. But this list is shielas only, and there’s an unconscious – at least let us hope it’s unconscious – problem – why in the name of St Simeon would you number them as a ranking? All the entries are worthy of inclusion, all strivers, all justifiably successful, a selection range across all fields that make up social fabric of the city.  The ‘Pie says all and includes Gracelyn Smallwood, who, like the others, has written a glowing self-bio about her undoubted achievements and determination, but conveniently leaves out any mention of the virulent racism.

But ranking them? What better way to cause disappointment, dissension and perhaps bitterness – as said every single one of these woman (you can bet there’s a story behind Jenny Hill being at number 5) deserve the recognition, so why set their individual worth against each other by a 1-50 format? It’s an apple and oranges list, so the real question is: who did the listing? And on what basis and with what knowledge? 

Ah ha, not just a clue but proof … usual mag editor Bettina Warburton is not in evidence, but Gas Carvey (not a typo, just The ‘Pie’s regular assessment) has taken over for this week, if not permanently. And if anyone wanted to prove the irreparable disconnect between their community and the respected Bulletin of old,  this iditor has found the motherlode of misreading the community. What ever guided these discombobulated choices is a matter for Ms Carvey, but she has made a laughing stock of herself and her credibility by even trying to weirdly to justify her ludicrous number 1 choice. That being Tallisha Harden (that’s her, centre, in the main pic), who is co-captain of the Queensland Cowboys women’s side.  Absolutely a great athlete and by all reports, inspirational talker, so no offence to you, or your blossoming career,  Tallisha,  but not in a million years (well certainly not this year) are you the  MOST influential and/or inspirational woman in Townsville. So as well as silly rankings, Ms Garvey, you also didn’t think about it when you included the word MOST … even a cursory run through the list would’ve seen the silliness of the concept.  BTW with that in mind, ikf Ms Harden is the CO-captain of the Cowpokes,  why didn’t the other co-captain get a guernsey?

Now the gals when they get together will probably metaphorically borrow Jenny’s Magpie dart board and make disparaging remarks about white male dinosaurs etc etc (heard it all gals, heard it all) but The ‘Pie will bet two cents to a Wulguru turd that there’s some interesting pillow talk after lights out about the Ms Garvey’s numbers game.

And hey Gas, The ‘Pie knows you’re just gaggin’ to get some more wisdom from the old bird, so how about checking all the 80% of bullshit that is imported from outside for its headlines?  We all know the childish fascination with bad puns in headlines, but this one really is offensive: 30,000 dead and a million starving is worth a childish pun?

That really is offensive.

And for Christ sake, get some to write your editorials, you regularly make  goose of yourself. Or just get a sub to run an eye over them. You do know what a sub is, don’t you?

You really are not up to the job, are you, Gas?

Anyone Going To Mayor Mullet For A Comment On This?

And now they’re suspended from trading.

Welcome To The Faker Gender Wars

This. con job of the first order, and almost wholly driven by the usual suspects among media factions. The data isn’t wrong – it’s meticulous – and the conclusions aren’t necessarily wrong either although debatable. But the reaction to the  Workplace Gender Equality Agency’s(WGEA) latest report on what is misleadingly called the gender pay gap has started a predictable slanging match between the traditional femme foes (In the blue corner, Janet Albrechtsen of the Australian, and in the red corner with a horseshoe in her glove, Val Badham in the Guardian).

So The Magpie dares to tread where it is unwise to do so, but (deep breath) here goes.

As said,  this is a con job of the first order, because what is being purposely obscured is what exactly is being measured, and the skewed way it is being presented, because of the media’s general reluctance to spoil a good rage-farming story.

What is missing is. one obvious fact … this IS NOT about equal pay for equal work regardless of gender.

The Fair Work Commission has long ensured that equal pay for equal work is a given, excluding gender as a consideration, it is a long established and fair law. (For decades, The ‘Pie belonged the Australian Journalists Union (AJA), which pioneered equal pay for equal work, and he always wondered that the rule did not apply universally. Of course, it didn’t take long before EPFEW affected employers hiring and promotion decisions to circumvent fair workplace outcomes.

And that is exactly what the FWC report is all about, it uses data to move the argument further along to show how non-consenting females are still getting the rough end of the pineapple because blokes have more choice. Apparently. The methodology  can be reasonably challenged for its reflection of its conclusions. Albrechtsen  makes an argument for the this in The Australian (no link, paywalled) and Val Badham, ever playing a Bad Girl Boaidica, is more interested in descriptive pyrotechnics of her opponents than coherent argument. Here’s an easy to follow breakdown of what it means and how the information was gathered.

The’Pie’s one and only concern is the mindset of the current government. Because although this issue is resolving itself slowly toward a more acceptable position,  could the loonies insist on a (quite impossible, business shredding) implementation of mandated gender quotas.  What makes this more than remotely possible is that it exactly the sort of election-losing issue Labor always looks around for at this stage of government.  The possibility is not an unreasonable proposition in light of Bowen’s whopping big-vehicle tariff for the faux reason of the environment.

Perhaps the swing towards the Libs in Dunkley last night (which Labor retained) might make them be a little more circumspect.

∫

Just How Gaga Are Maga Folk?

We have a video that will make your tears of laughter bittersweet.

But first, this week’s gallery from the Untied States of America.

 Finally ….

…. this.

…………………….

Keyboard and some software problems turned up this week,  so if things aren’t up to scratch, please do not blame it on senility or bone spurs. Comments are lively – for some reason, lots of boffins getting excited by whether nuclear power is feasible – but you can nhave your say about anythinmg you like, comments run 24/7.

To help out, the donation button is below.