Unplugged: Townsville Council’s  Public EV Charging Sites Are A Joke … But No One’s Laughing

There’s been an avalanche of protest and derision, widespread on social media,  with the council’s inability to set-up and maintain three (yes, just three) electric vehicle charging sites around the city … and it’s all beset with bureaucratic and mayoral indifference. But why didn’t they get a simple thing right in the first place?

Another withering blast from the Division 10 flame thrower, Clr Fran O’Callaghan.  This time she takes on the mayor and council’s grandstanding futurist posturing at the expense of doing something NOW.

If this keeps up, Townsville business identity Chris Condon will chalk up more wins than Winx. As it is, it stands at Condon 9 – inept coppers 0. This time it’s the Feds that have been forced to back off. The Magpie wonders what the hell is really going on.

And The ‘Pie, impressed with economist Colin Dwyer’s scientific analysis of our future prosperity based on the number of cranes on the skyline, has come up with a even more infallible measure.

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Now, let’s get into it.

First, A Moment …

Much has been and will be said elsewhere, but we have lost two of our most uplifting and beloved sportsmen this week, first Rod Marsh, at 74, and now Shane Warne, the latter really taking the wind out of our sails because of his age. He was just 52. Both victims of heart attacks.

Others across the globe are having their generous say, but The Magpie just adds his individual thanks to both for the memories – there are so many of them –  and the Aussie larrikinism we all loved.

Vale Marshy, Vale Warney.

Ukraine: We Should Recycle An Old Aussie Tourism Slogan And Ask: Where The Bloody Hell Are You, World?

The Magpie probably isn’t the only one wondering if the ‘let’s watch and wait’ policy of an outraged world is the right one. Surely the global community, with only a half dozen pariahs at most (including India) could be doing more than just watch this devastation, which shows all the hallmarks of possibly being the first domino?

But do like what? The ‘Pie’s got nothing responsible or informed to suggest – it just seems wrong to just be watching,  and the long game of sanctions may work, but at what human cost?

The sanctions widely announced is just like warning playground bully Putin that they’ll take away his pocket money and won’t let him play on any teams if he doesn’t stop his inexcusable violent behaviour. And here in Oz, we should be holding our breath, because in this day and age, the tyranny of distance that has so long been Australia’s shield is no longer the deterrent it once was. Watch China closely, as it watches the Ukraine expedition closely.

By and large, there is a widespread support for Canberra’s gestures regarding supplying arms and head-of-the-queue refugee arrangement, but when things deteriorate further –  Putin won’t be  taking his bat and ball and going home anytime soon – what then for us?

A frustrated Bentley is unimpressed with our prime minister’s election campaign posturing mixed into all this.

And while they say truth is the first casualty of war, modern technology may well have changed that for the better. But what hasn’t changed is the subversive use of humour as a propaganda tool. Like this re-heated one doing the rounds this weekend.

“Vladimir Putin, to get on the good side of voters, goes to visit a school in Moscow to have a chat with the kids.He talks to them about how Russia is a powerful nation and how he wants the best for the people.

At the end of the talk there is a section for questions.

Little Sasha puts her hand up and says, “I have two questions. Why did the Russians take Crimea and why are we sending troops to the Ukraine?”

Putin says, “Good questions”. But just as he is about to answer the bell goes and the kids go to lunch.

When they come back, they sit down and there is room for some more questions.

Another girl, Misha, puts her hand up and says “I have four questions. Why did the Russians invade Crimea, why are we sending troops to the Ukraine, why did the bell go 20 minutes early and where the fuck is Sasha?”

There seem to be reliable reports coming that Putin is slowly realising he has blundered in taking on the world, and severely underestimated two things: the global unity in applying crippling sanctions, and more significantly, the inspiring courage of the average Ukrainian on the face of what should have been overwhelming odds – Putin  is reported to be hunkered down in a bunker (probably modelled on Trump’s favourite spot under the White House) working on his next move. The deep concern is that one of the most dangerous creatures on earth is a wounded bear.

One fears that there will no room for even grim humour before this is over.

…………………..

But now, back to our usual stamping ground, the local scene.

Townsville Council’s Battery Hens More Like Headless Chooks

Our strutting peahen of a mayor who wants to build a cutting edge battery factory at her Eco Hub In The Scrub, Lansdowne, might instil more confidence if she could manage to get a much-ballyhooed simple straightforward project to work first. As The ‘Pie understands it, the TCC operates three electric vehicle (EV) charging stations around the city, one on The Strand, one on Palmer Street and one at Riverway. Or more accurately, doesn’t operate.  They have been plagued by unidentified problems in the machinery itself, and a bumbling, unpoliced matter of inadequate signage.  Would be users on line have reported that one of the site’s has never worked from day one … they didn’t specify which one. Illegally parked vehicles regularly block access – the spots at the rechargers are for EVs only AND only when they’re charging – and there doesn’t seem to have been any policing of this aspect.

The comments tell the story.

This Palmer Street pic is outside a local new brewery, one where this council couldn’t even organise a piss-up.

Meanwhile, Down In Rocky ….

Comparisons may be odious, but the pong from our council is emphasised when we look southwards. Fresh from opening a new multi-million dollar art gallery (managed by a Townsville art figure Johnathan McBurnie, for whom our mayor had little time), we get this news during the week from IQ Industry Queensland’s site.

Now the interesting thing here is that last line. This whole concept was put forward sometime in 2019, and was set to start within a year until COVID caused problems of both supply and manpower. But now, it has been confidently announced construction and installation will start within three weeks – so basically three (albeit difficult) years from ‘on-your-marks’ to ‘go’.

Different concept entirely to any of the unicorn waffle we’ve been subjected to by Magnis and the mayor, but Rocky seems to have solid and sensible leadership – a brand new job-creating facility, while we’ve got some marker pegs with yellow ribbons in the scrub and a Magnis chairman now under investigation for a consulting fee rort, as reported in the Australian this week. This excerpt from the latest Australian probe in magnis chairman Frank Poullas.

The (ASX) letter to Magnis identified trading in its shares between March 1, 2020 and July 16, 2020. It requires Magnis to hand over all documents “relating to ASX announcements … dated 4 March 2020, 19 May 2020 and 30 June 2020”. It was on those dates that Magnis disclosed its chairman, Frank Poullas, had purchased about 750,000 shares at around 70.7c per share.

The letter reveals the extent of ASIC’s interest in the company, detailing additional requests for “all communications (including communications internal or external to Magnis) to, copied to, or from Poullas during the relevant period” and for all agreements, contracts, accounts, invoiced and receipts related to Strong Solutions, a company linked to Mr Poullas.

Strong Solutions billed Magnis $171,791 for consulting fees and the purchase of protective equipment in the six months to December 31, 2020. Accounts filed in October for the year to June 30 show Strong Solutions was charging Magnis $1000 in consulting fees for every business day on top of Mr Poullas’s $120,000 salary.

This saw payments to Strong Solutions over 12 months climb to $208,000 – well above the prior year’s $124,000 bill.

While several Magnis directors raised concerns with the company’s deal with Strong Solutions, they were unable to access copies of the contracts signed by the two businesses.

Magnis has boasted a high-profile board in recent years, including former Macquarie executive Warwick Smith, ex-NSW deputy premier Troy Grant and Pillsbury Winthrop Shaw Pittman partner Mona Dajani – although directors have abruptly left the company.

An internal audit report prepared by former Magnis chief financial officer Leslie Hoskin, as reported by The Australian in November, shows concerns about the payments flowing to Strong Solutions. The report, handed to Mr Poullas in early 2020, notes Strong Solutions was billing Magnis $4500 a month. It warns Mr Poullas was charging Magnis his consulting fee with “no independent oversight of this fee or oversight of work undertaken”.

But our Jenny, who seems to think Due Diligence is the favourite in race 8 at Doomben, i still whistling to the clouds and drawing figures eights in the dust with her toe.  But hey, that is not to say that Brand Hill isn’t out there with her own good news.

So Rocky gets an art gallery and a tech facility and we get a repaired boardwalk. Which of course we should get but one wonders if Mayor Mullet is so desperate for some positive publicity, she jumps on this minor but worthy project on get her pic in the paper. In normal times, this would be the opportunity for the local divisional drone, whoever that is, to pick up some profile crumbs, but like a Trump elbow at a photo op, our Mullet is there front and centre instead.

Maybe Retirement To Palazzo Solazzo, Her Ancestral Family Home On Malta, Is Looking Increasingly Like An Attractive Option

For the first time in her tenure on the council, Jenny is copping some real heat, and people are starting to take notice. And she is being singed from one place only … the flamethrower from Division 10, Clr Fran O’Callaghan.

Fran regularly posts some home truths on FB, most of which are being more and more widely circulated … including regular airings here in The Nest. And why not, she says many things more eloquently than The ‘Pie on a variety of subjects he has had trouble articulating.  Here’ some excellent common sense from this week that goes right to the heart of a major problem with this fractured council.

Reckon Mayor Mullet is in danger of soiling her dainties every time a missive from Cyclone Fran hits the in-box.

Hey, Psst, Wanna Know What The Bulletin’s Readership Is?

Well, stiff fromage, mon amis, it seems that such classified secret information is no longer for the scruffy likes of you et moi.

As you will know, for the past few years … 12 to be precise … The Magpie has quarterly or bi-annually tracked the fortunes of the Bulletin’s circulation and readership. Reasonable enough information for our paper of record and our only print media in which to advertise.

But it seems a while back our favourite pickled walnut decided he didn’t like not controlling the independent and respected statistics being supplied by the Roy Morgan people, so he and a few like-minded media chums invented Enhanced Media Metrics Australia  (EMMA) – with many in the industry believing the key word being Enhanced. The results were from day one completely risible. EMMA’s guff was so far more flattering and self-serving that the Roy Morgan groups continued reliable report, that the whole media buying industry didn’t … well, almost literally, didn’t buy it. The ludicrously hyped figures were seen as a joke from the outset … an expensive joke at that, because EMMA’s stats were the basis for the various publications’ advertising rate cards. Then a few years ago, all the MS publications, led again by News, decided to stop revealing circulation figures altogether (circulation is papers printed – figures that couldn’t be fudged on legal penalty – as versus readership which involve survey samples). One of the reasons for this was the hilarious disparity between circulation and readership … just one example was that simple maths between the two sets of figures had EMMA insisting the eight separate people read every single printed issue of the Bulletin. Hah, they fuckin’ wished.

The EMMA farce continued in a somewhat watered down form, before the industry returned to the more reliable and trusted Roy Morgan figures. Then in April last year, this:

So Roy Morgan  is now effectively in the News Ltd fold, working exclusively for the media barons jointly owned company ThinkNewBrands. And thus, here’s the kicker … the Roy Morgan results are no longer available to anyone but Big Media. On inquiry this week about the availability of regional figures, The ‘Pie was told politely  by the Roy Morgan people that that information could now only come from ThinkNewsBrands. And a request there has  met with a stony silence so far.

Then The ‘Pie saw this mystifying load of old guano.

It was immediately apparent that the Roy Morgan people hadn’t sold out, but that their information was now subject to selective and plain old bullshit interpretation. So The ‘Pie posted this comment to ThinkNewsBrands:

Genuine two questions, not snarking.

Re news platform readership, done over a four week period by the unquestionably solid Roy Morgan group:  Do we divide the 20.4 million by 4 to get the weekly average , and if yes, how do we reach a misleading stat of 97% of Australians consuming news in a four week period? Wouldn’t that be 5.1 million per week, and the same readership just multiplied by 4 over a month? Secondly, if the overall figure is 20.4M and the digital readership is 19.3M, are to conclude there is a newspaper readership of only 1.1M per month, which divided by 4, is 275,000 hard copy readers?  Surely that cannot be right, or is it that my maths that are wrong, or should the relevant company be rebranded Think New Maths??

So it appears we are further in the thrall of juggernaut business interests which put greed and profits ahead of everything else … like accurate reporting of news and fair dealing. And sub-editors.

Of Sails, ‘N’ Cranes And Other Magic Stuff

You may recall a couple of weeks ago that the Adjunct Poodle, the Astonisher’s  go-to honker for cheery economic bullshit, Col Dwyer, decided things were hunky dory for Townsville’s business outlook because he counted the cranes around town and gosh – was it eight, or was it nine – it could only mean happy days are here again. Now Col is a nice bloke, and as far as The ‘Pie knows, he is just spinning out old information more than once for a nice little earner. His effort of last month was eerily like the information he supplied for this story in 2019.

But even if it was originally his information recycled, it is far from his original idea … ‘crane count economics’ started in Sydney in the 1950s, and has bobbed up all over the place when journos and would-be economists are bored with doing the hard sums for accurate information and opt for lazy fuzzy nonsense like this.

But surely  our newly minted adjunct professor could  come up with a bit of variety. So, here Col, let The ‘Pie help out

The Townsville Yacht Club has long held a popular mid-week twilight sail ion Wednesday evenings, where the well heeled rub protective pontoons with grotty yachty types.

And The Magpie has long believed the number of yachts out for Wednesday’s informal regatta off the Strand is just a variation of the Adjunct Pet Poodle’s deeply academic observation (known in acadil and boofademic circles as the Dwyer Dichotomy) about cranes indicating the health of the local economy. The formula is simple, so please try out The Magpie’s Matrix and see if he’s wrong … it works exactly like Crane  Connection .

Between 5 and 25 yachts out = economy tanking, getting worse

Between 5 and 25 yachts out = economy improving, getting better

Between 5 and 25 yachts out = no change to the economy – race you back to the bar?

Mind you, might not be much room at the bar … it will be full of cashed up crane drivers knocking back a Moet or two after a hard day building the metropolis.

Believe The Science , The Media Keep Telling Us – Not That They Themselves Do

It’s a rare day The ‘Pie takes up the cudgel of indignation to defend Anna Palaszczuk, but today be it. This caught the eye a few days ago.

The Courier makes no secret it has been ordered from HQ to go after the premier on all fronts, and they’ve done a pretty comprehensive and reasonable job on the integrity issue. But on the above matter, it all went askew.

Science, in the form of meteorologists, informed the Premier a possibly deadly storm was in the offing one afternoon, on top of the already disastrous flooding . So the Premier wisely chose not to gamble with the life and limb of people – especially kids – and closed schools early and advised parents to pick up their kids ahead of the storm for their safety.

The storm didn’t eventuate, but suddenly, that was Anna Palaszczuk’s fault, with the media insisting an apology was due to the parents, who had to leave the third glass of chardy at the Ladies Who Lurch luncheon to pick up their little shits before time. Palaszczuk did apologise for the inconvenience (the ‘Pie really wished she hadn’t) but not for taking the cautionary action. The media, especially the Courier, went ape shit, for not getting the level and type of grovel they were demanding.

Now, Ms Palaszczuk, you rightly refused to apologise for being cautious with citizens’ well being, and good for you, said you’d do it again, but you didn’t say what you probably wanted to say  to the media conference so allow The Magpie … fuck off, you pack of dreary disgraceful bobbleheads amoebas. But before you do, ring Rupert and ask what she should’ve done.

Fucktards.

Chris Condon: Is It A Police Vendetta, Or Police Incompetence? Or A Bit Of Both?

The saga of Chris Condon and The Coppers is running longer than Blue Hills, but even Gwen Meredith, the prolific author of Australia’s longest running radio serial, could never have come up with some of the inane twists in this story.

The latest chapter closed this week, with this time no less than AFP running up the white flag and dropping proposed charges against the showground boss for some false grass about financial flapdoodle. By The ‘Pie’s count, that makes it around Condon 9 Wallopers 0.

Now let’s be clear here, The ’Pie holds no brief for Condon, whom he has only ever spoken to at the courts or the occasional clarifying phone call, over the years and has never socialised with him (why would The ‘Pie , who is told Condon doesn’t drink?). And if he is ever proven to have committed the gazillion things he’s supposed to have masterminded, The Magpie will be first cab of the rank to stick in a dainty boot.  But what The ‘Pie does hold a brief for is the proper process of law, and that appears to The ‘Pie to sometimes have not been not applied to Condon.

Every barfly around Townsville has a Chris Condon story, but on closer interrogations, turns to be his sister’s boyfriend’s aunty – who knows people – swears by it … it being anything from morganising the Myall Massacre to honking his nose in the shower. But a former union enforcer is going to attract that sort of fandom.

After one acquittal, Condon was adamant that a senior police officer – now departed the city some years ago – was waging a vendetta against him for reasons Condon never explained to me. And as time went by, it was hard to dismiss his claim out of hand.

One matter really was disgraceful, a complete clusterfuck start to finish, and if it was obvious to the ‘Pie and other reporters, it surely must have been to the fat wallets at the Bar. He was charged with grievous bodily harm for slapping – yes, slapping as seen on video – a very dodgy bloke who later proved to be out after some easy money and disappeared overseas. Condon said the bloke was trespassing on showground property, and had become aggressive. Everything was wrong about this trial, from Condon’s weird choice of barrister who was the Police Union’s regular go-to mouthpiece in all sorts of matters, to the fact that Condon was tried in Townsville at all, given his notoriety,  deserved or otherwise around the place. The ‘Pie will never forget the unmistakable look of surprise on the judge’s face when the guilty verdict was handed up.

Anyway, long story short, the conviction was quashed on appeal, and a new trial ordered (in Mackay) which never happened because the prosecution folded and withdrew the charge.

Time and again, matters arrived before various beaks … or in several cases, never even made it to court … but the  charges were generously aired in the media, offering all the reputational damage that such exposure allows. In the run of things, they were all penny ante stuff … a rifle in a car … once the car itself, if I remember correctly … The ‘Pie suspects at least two police prosecutors ran dead on a couple Condon matters, because they appeared unhappy with the briefs they’d been handed.

And it is a matter of speculation what sort secret squirrel whispers the AFP were slipped for them to go in boots and all on the rumours of some sort of financial rort involving government grants or something like that, The ‘Pie couldn’t get too excited about whatever it was.

When society hands over extraordinary powers to police, the least that can be expected is that those powers are carefully used and never abused. The track record against Condon makes one wonder – what the hell has really been going on?

Biden: His Time?

Are these the days that Joe Biden will turn around his tanking approval figures, and appear a steady hand as he guides his country through the dangerous waters roiled up by Putin? Whether that happens is yet to be played out, and if early indications are true that Putin is realising the enormity of his inexcusable invasion of the Ukraine, Biden could get the fillip he desperately needs by being a stedy, cautious president . Also working for him is the shuddering thought of what may have happened had the Mobster President and Putin puppet still be in the White House. in.  The fact that he was elected mainly because he wasn’t Trump may well work him in his second year in office. Commentators are divided.

Just So You Know, Ongar Is A Town In Essex, England

Whenever this blog inadvertently approaches that dangerous planet of The Pun, with its irresistible gravitational pull into Dad-joke dorkdom,  The ‘Pie immediately becomes wary and apprehensive. Not that a good pun isn’t sometimes clever, but it’s just that many aren’t … well, their just not very punny – and wasn’t that inevitable. Moreover, and this is the real underlying fear …. It brings out the worst in people, (German puns are the wurst) who dredge back through their non-erasable store of dad jokes and decide to generously share in this blog’s comment section. But what can be a delight is a newspaper headline that combines a pun with a spoonerism. Here’s a nice little laugh (or groan) from The British Guardian, with the great headline as punchline.

In the list of odd events such as the world worm-charming championships, the world wife-carrying championships and chess boxing, we should never forget the UK Pun Championships, won last week by Richard Pulsford. A good pun should be truly groanworthy and Mr Pulsford acquits himself honourably on that front: “I used to work in a lighthouse – I still get flashbacks”; “Doorbells. You can’t knock ’em”; “Rocket countdowns? Don’t get me started.” Yes, I admit it – I’m a sucker for puns. And a special mention must go to another competitor, Chris Norton-Walker: “If you’re going to walk 10,000 miles, wear the correct footwear and consult a doctor. The Disclaimers.”

My all-time favourite appeared in a local Essex newspaper, decrying a crisis in the county’s libraries: “Book lack in Ongar”. John Osborne must be turning in his grave.

Indeed, enough to make Mr Osborne wish he never were born.

…….

That’s it for this week, see you in comments the rest of the time. That donate button is below if you’ve a mind.