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The Magpie

Sunday, September 5th, 2021   |   149 comments

Trash Talking: Correct English Isn’t Pedantry, It’s Credibility, And The Week Had Some Shining Examples From The ‘How Not To’ Text Book.

Led by the trio of CHO Jeanette Young, the hucksters of the unicorn battery factory  and our own beloved Bulletin iditor, we were again befuddled by twisted talking. And this isn’t a whinge about a missed comma or a dangling participle; in all three instances, very real consequences could result.

There was a lot of lower case naif talk going about this about upper case NAIF this week, sparked by the refusal to fund multi-millionaire Chris Morris’s new hotel next to the Ville casino.  The Magpie looks at some curious aspects of this issue’s history, and whether NAIF has been as naughty as Mr Morris and the Astonisher are now making out.

Lies, damned lies and the Bulletin’s iditor … memo, mate, when doing posturing iditorials with claimed statistics, be nice if you back them up, not make them up. And you even doubled the actual population of one particular community.

Plus our regular gallery from the US, featuring the pictorial backlash against the draconian Texas anti-abortion law.

A quick reminder: The Magpie’s Nest doesn’t take advertising, but it does take a lot of time, effort … and expense. Not much you can do about the first two, but a helping hand with the latter would be a great help. If you think this weekly offering is worth it, you can support it  through a donation … the ‘how to’ button is at the end of the blog. Thanks.

Bentley’s away for a couple of weeks, yo-ho-ho-ing on the deep blue briny somewhere … or stuck on a sandbar or something. He shall return.

Now, forward.

Bad Language Isn’t Always Swearing

Lazy, misleading or just plain dumb words have always been a matter of historical record, from Let them eat cake to ‘Peace in our time’ and here in Oz, ‘This is the recession we had to have’, to ‘I don’t hold a hose’.

And COVID has ushered in a plethora of new ways to twist language, no point in running through the already well documented list. But just a couple of days ago, we were on the receiving end of a head scratcher that had some dark undertones of a new control measure. It the latest reason why precise words are needed when the state is dealing with our basic freedoms.

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Quote: “Dr Jeanette Young said she was “very concerned” that the truck driver was carrying “a lot of the virus” at the time he was in the community but they were less concerned about the child”.

‘ … a lot of the virus’? Maybe The Magpie has missed something, but this the very first time he has heard of COVID being quantified in a person. Surely, in simple terms, if you’ve got it, well, you’ve got it …  ‘a lot of virus’ sounds like being a’ little bit pregnant’. While the word ‘mild’ has been occasionally used to describe the level of severity in some who have tested positive (unfortunately, sometimes with the ultimate last word ‘dead’),  ‘a lot’ in this case is quantative of the virus itself.  So perhaps some people have had ‘a small amount’ or maybe ‘just a smidgen of virus’. Then again, will it go the other way, and someone will be responsible for a ‘shitload of the virus’.

Young’s concerns about the truckie are valid, but these are the times when precise and careful language should be paramount. Unfortunately ‘carrying a lot of virus’ seems an effort to ramp up the fear and panic which is a hallmark of this woman who’s language is unchecked or softened  by Premier Anna Joh. (Not a murmur from the premier about allowing tenfold the numbers at a funeral because of indigenous culture on the one hand, or  banning an Anzac  flypast of single seat aircraft ‘because it might encourage people to go for a drive’.)

The sooner we can wheel barrow this medical administrator (that’s what she’s been for the 20 to 25 years) off to the governor’s castle, and only allow drop the drawbridge for closely supervised functions where she is prohibited from speaking publicly, the better it will be for our health, if not what’s left of our state dignity. Not that Premier Anna Joh is helping.

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The Law May Be An Ass, But An Upset Barrister Can Kick Like One

The law is one place where precision in language is required at all times, or otherwise risk being publicly pulled up for the error, and even having to hand over some pocket money for professional disparagement. As the Bulletin found out during the week.

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But Our Everyday Lives Have Always Been Bedevilled By Language.


Image … and then there’s juxtaposition …

StrokeMore Jabber Jibber From The Daily Astonisher

This week, the Curious Snail gave us an interesting update on the running totals of vaccination rates across the state.

Vax headline Screen Shot 2021-08-29 at 10.30.53 am

It  listed all the LGAs vax rate, like this …

Vax stats PalmScreen Shot 2021-08-29 at 10.46.35 am

…BUT WHOA, just a sec … what’s this here about Palm Island.

CU Palm Stats Screen Shot 2021-08-29 at 10.47.13 am

Hang about, are there two Palm Islands?  Because these numbers don’t square up with the Townsville Bulletin’s gurgling iditorial of July 21.

Screen Shot 2021-09-02 at 12.25.05 pm

And Craig Warhurst’s back-of-an-envelope figure of a population of 4000 means there’s been a hell of a lot of horizontal dancing going on under the palms since the last census in 2016. If correct, and should procreation ever become an Olympic sport, Palm would get gold, silver and bronze for a near-100% population increase in just five years.

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And reading the story itself of July 21, it appears the sole source of information about vaxx rates on Palm came from Mayor Mislan Sam. Now Clr Sam seems a decent and straightforward bloke, but whether he is privy to any – let alone accurate – vaccinations figures is doubtful. Especially since even now almost two months later, the government can’t supply any statistics at all.

So it would seem that the iditor and his very uncurious reporter are just making things up for what they think is an interesting headline – it shows neither have been around long enough to know that if it isn’t a riot or the mayor getting nabbed for doing an illegal grog run from the mainland, Palm island does not rate in the top 40 reasons to buy a Bulletin …. Please do not inquire what the other reasons are apart from the race guide, sports, crosswords, Dilbert and death notices.  Accurate news is unlikely to be on the list anyway.

But All News Publications Seem To Wrestle With Maths

100s of 000s. IMG_1462

The ‘Pie hears a rumour that the author of this yarn in Gold Coast Bulletin,  reporter Kyle Wisniewski, is being seconded to Townsville to do the attendance stories for the next V8 SuperPests infestation and stadium footy matches.

Being Naif About NAIF

For the unfamiliar:

naif | nīˈēf | (also naïf) 

Adjective: naive or ingenuous. 

An unfortunate acronym for the Northern Australia Infrastructure Facility, a mob supposed to be switched on to push an expanding northern economy.  But it came in for a lot of stick during the week when it was revealed that Chris Morris’s bid for funding his new hotel and mini-marina next to the casino was knocked back.

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Morris was understandably furious and rightly so if his claims of encouragement and ‘home and hosed’ rhetoric from bureaucrats and politicians regarding the funding are correct. But there is something odd about this whole scenario. Let’s start back in June 18, when we rejoiced (no, really, no sarcasm, it is a great project) when we read this story.

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Two things about all this have caught The Magpie’s beady eye. The ‘green light’ claim was not correct, because the council might have given planning approval (as if they wouldn’t), it is now clear that the crucial NAIF loan had not been approved … not by a long shot.

And the second interesting fact is check the byline … the story was written by the editor Craig Warhurst. The ‘Pie knows things have changed in the industry, but editors writing business stories – or any story for that matter – is  … ummm … unusual. Now for a seasoned businessman like Chris Morris to shoot from the lip like this, with nary a mention of  something to the vague effect of  ‘still tying up some funding loose ends’, makes one wonder if this story was an attempt to put some pressure on NAIF which was suddenly wavering in its support.   And with its most senior journalist on the job, surely this might have been mentioned in the paper?  Or alternatively, did some touchy bureaucrats take offence at being taken for granted?

Of course, here at the Conspiracy Annexe (Conspiracy Central is over at Pete Newey’s TRRA site) The ‘Pie is pontificating on a possible political polka (and the wisdom of alliteration). Could Canberra corridor conferences engineered the (perhaps temporary) knock-back, to allow Herbert MP Phil Thompson to tell the paper, as he has,  he greatly favours the funding and would ‘put a word in’. which of course would be successful. Maybe a bit far fetched at other times, but with a federal election in the offing and Smirko Morrison with more on his plate than Gina Rinehart at a wedding reception, it would shore up a key coalition seat.

We shall see, but whatever the truth, let’s hope it goes ahead, it is the sort of project Townsville is crying out for.

Just For The Record

Here’s a list of some NAIF projects in what the Bulletin fondly characterising as the ‘neglected’ north.

  • Genex Kidston $600 mil naif loan -$1 bil hydro , wind solar
  • Cowboys School of Excellence (well don’t blame NAIF, they didn’t name it)
  • Mater Hospital $26 mil car park (lots of room to ramp ambulances)
  • JCU student accomodation $76 million
  • Fertiliser Plant Charters Towers $70 mil (converts Bob Katter speeches into something useful)
  • Townsville airport upgrade $40 (yeah, right, whatever)
  • Ferry Terminal upgrade ( on hold )
  • Proposed battery operator Lansdown applying (probably scrub that, see following)

Flat Battery

A regular Nester send in this comment during the week (well spotted, The ‘Pie would’ve missed it).

magnis propoposed factory Screen Shot 2020-12-19 at 11.54.32 pm

August 30, 2021 at 11:33 am  (Edit)

I see Magnis have made an announcement to the ASX today that sees Mayor Jenny Hill’s favourite project Imperium 3 look like it is finally dead, with all the money heading to the USA.

Magnis are well overdue to make the final investment decision which was due in mid-2020. Following the Palaszczuk Government’s $3.1 million contribution towards the Magnis feasibility study.

If Jenny Hill was serious about Magnis she would have them signed up, and “Paid-Up” for their land at Lansdown, with Townsville City Council already started works towards the success of the project e.g. roads, water and sewerage etc. weren’t Magnis due to start construction in 2022?

But alas Lansdown remains a dry, empty dust bowl, devoid of life, a fitting legacy for Mayor Jenny Hill.


  • The Magpie


August 30, 2021 at 1:03 pm  (Edit)

Can’t locate the ASX link (got one?) but here are a couple of things that back up your view. Or is this what you’re talking about?

First, there is this, where the language is that of pure huckmsterism for the yokels to buy the snake oil. And boasting that cleaned out a shed ready to install equipment is laughable, especially when they trumpet that the project – which has been going for some years now – is 23% complete!! This overview says it all.

  • New York Plant Status – 23% complete • Internal Building clear-out completed with internal works having started • Machinery roll-out to start in September • Public review of Air Permit has had no objections so far and on track to be granted in the near term • Lukasz P. Cianciara joins iM3NY to focus on US listing • Safety – Zero incidents to date in August

But this one is even more damning …
Screen Shot 2021-09-04 at 10.35.21 pm

… and making our mayor look like the starry-eyed, self-promoting financial fuckwit she is. This link includes these rather interesting lines, which indicate there will be SFA left over for a promised Townsville battery re-packing plant of imported goods, let alone the unicorn LaLa Land of a $3billion Lansdown mega factory.

John Hancock is throwing his weight behind Magnis Energy Technologies (MNS), helping the company raise $20 million in funds.
The son of mining magnate Gina Rinehart has announced the investment firm he advises, The Lind Partners, will spend $10 million on a convertible note facility.
Fellow US-based institution SBC Global Investment Fund has also announced $10 million in funding via the facility.

This includes $17.6 million being spent on potentially expanding Magnis’ iM3NY Battery Plant in New York

But surely we won’t have to find out the truth behind all this, no doubt our hard-hitting, all-for-us investigative reporters at the Bulletin will be on to it immediately, even if they have to be pulled off promising blockbuster stories about ‘Brave Toddler’s Battle With In-Grown Toenail.’

Lone Star State – Of Insanity.

You’d think taking the Afghanistan mess of American front pages would require a major international disaster, of 9/11 proportions but good old Texas has managed a domestic news triumph that has done just that.  The ruling Republicans in that state have just passed a law that effectively bans abortion after 6 weeks of pregnancy – when you never know for sure if you are. That is in direct contradiction to the Roe v Wade federal ruling of decades ago.

The Magpie doesn’t have abortion rights high – or anywhere – on his demo agenda, but he thinks a mob of hypocritical bible-bashing bastards should not be making laws like this about other people’s private and personal choices.  And talk about hypocritical? Well, try this … despite what any religious text has to say on the matter,  if you get raped by your father and become pregnant, or get raped in a back alley by a stranger, you still have to have the child. Which leads one to ponder whether this might just explain the antecedents of limited intelligence arsesoles in Austin who make laws like this. This week’s gallery is running red hot on this issue, ahead of Afghanistan and anti-vaxxers.

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Finally, The Good News – Here We Go Again

The Swedish super group, ABBA, whose music remains as sprightly even as the foursome get creakier, are getting back together and will be making music again at a virtual concert in London in the near future.

Dare you not to go foot tapping down memory lane with this one.


So that gets spring off to a flying start, and there’s plenty there to tempt you jump into comments for your say.  But don’t restrict yourself, have a voice on any news subject of the day, particularly but not exclusively local stuff. And that donate button that The ‘Pie has so generously devised to allow you to show your appreciation of this weekly missive is, as always, below.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. Electric Boogaloo says:

    We’ve been brainwashed for years to think abortion is a good and necessary thing. Rape would account for a microscopically small amount of abortions – so that justification for the rest of the killings falls on its face. The brainwashing is deep. Killing the unborn child for medical reasons is rare.

    Abortion is just a nice word for infanticide, you find they rename or reframe words and terms as necessary to push an agenda.

    Realistically any woman wanting to kill her child can simply board a bus, car, train, plane or walk across to a neighbouring democrat state. The medical industry needs and uses the bodies of children to experiment on. One american state pushing back on the agenda is hardly a complete sea change in seachange it just introduces a small inconvenience for anyone wanting to kill their kid.

    They’ve been killing children for years and now everyone has wondered why things are getting so bad and wondering where their human rights have disappeared. The moment we took away the right to exist from children we started digging away at the foundations of society and started chipping away at the rights of everyone else. The “structural” damage to society in my opinion was done during the upheaval of WW1/WW2 and we’ve never recovered.

    Its rare for me to discuss infanticide, I just see it as another milestone towards oblivion, the reaction boils down to a sneering dismissal – of course killing children is good and what about rape, right ? It’s the mindless automaton approach to everything.

    Our problem is we have no guiding light, no real sense of purpose, lack of personal responsibility and can no longer debate or critique things obviously stupid.

    Have a frothy one for me as things get worse

    • The Magpie says:

      You telling us we’ve been brainwashed is like Bob Katter offering psychiatric advice.

      Your passionate, articulate but viciously one-sided argument is enough frothing for now, but part of your view is deeply flawed … and a couple statements are wrong. This is the ultimate in DIY legislation anywhere. A Texas woman having or just seeking an abortion ANYWHERE can be personally sued by fellow Texans – neighbours or even strangers who know of her intentions – this has been specifically encouraged by Texas legislators who will not themselves prosecute – and that is the essence of the new laws. If you’re OK with that? Any ends justify your highly personal means? Change the word ‘foetus’ for the word ‘Jew’ and this legislation would’ve been a neat fit in 1930s Germany.

      And no exception for rape or incest is an unforgivable trampling of individual rights and a statute that will condemn many, through absolutely no fault of their own, to have their entire life upended and ruined. In other words, Texas will sentence undeserving victims equally with offenders to different but equally shaming sentences, giving such women a life and rights lesser than her fellows.

      • Lindy Loo says:

        This draconian law has not been opposed by the highest court in America. Meaning it has the potential to affect all women in America.

        This law has been brought about by people who believe that women should only have sex for procreation. Texan schools only teach abstinence. Teenagers are not taught about birth control and it’s often expensive. The US does not have a comprehensive healthcare system like Australia.

        This is a state that says owner of the uterus is responsible for the pregnancy, not the owner of the cock and balls, and yet the owner of the uterus has no say in how that uterus is used.

        Texas has tried to include public transport providers into this law and say that anyone providing a woman transport to an abortion clinic can be sued. Left, a public transport company has set up a fighting fund for drivers and donated $1M to planned parenting.
        Anyone who thinks this law is good and just needs to go educate themselves a little more.

        • The Magpie says:

          Valid points, but to be clear, as The ‘Pie understands it so far, the Republican-dominated Supreme Court has so far only declined to intervene in Texas regarding the state law, but intend to re-visit the overall issue to decide at a later date where they stand on abortion. Be wary of what you wish for, eh?

      • Electric Boogaloo says:

        Everyone has to draw the line of what is acceptable and what is not.

        Call me old fashioned but I draw the line at killing children. I see you are dragging in the holocaust to object to my view that killing children is bad.

        A society that can’t protect its children and encourages their killing is doomed.

        • The Magpie says:

          And a society that can’t respect and protect women’s unique and (technically) passive role in procreation, and encourages making them handmaidens, is also doomed.

          But you have defeated your own one size fits all moral ruling when you point out that rape and incest account for a minuscule numbers of cases – should not an exception be justified in the name of the rights of the victims of these traumatising crimes, if we must have such laws at all? But this exception would be highly unlikely in a hypocritical state that has historically been among the leaders in criminal executions.

          And who decides the definition of ‘children’? The myth makers and dread weavers of superstitious barbarism? The strutting emotional cripples and pursed-lipped intellectual retards of the Texas Legislature, empowered by their self-appointed sky daddy? More actual fully formed and breathing children and adults have been approvingly killed in the name of God in all his various global flavours through the centuries than were ever aborted.

          Legalising the creation of victims would also be a sign of a doomed society, would it not?

        • Lindy Loo says:

          One wonders what boogaloos definition of a child is. I do hope he remembers that every sperm is sacred and wasting wigglers is the unmerciful murder of little children.

    • Russell says:

      Electric Boogaloo, there are many of us on this blog who agree with you. We’ve learned over the years, though, that sometimes it’s best to take a deep breath and not comment. Enjoy your frothy – it’s Fathers’ Day after all.

  2. Mike Douglas says:

    A strategist and 30 pr spin doctors couldnt save Premier Palaszczuk from an ‘annus horribilis ‘ week on locking out Queenslanders from Queensland , a reflection that Labor has moved away from the workers party to the $ driven party . Richard Marles deputy Federal Labor leader said ” i would be distancing myself from the comments of Annastacia and we should be following the health advice ” . The NAIF loans committed in the Townsville region further embarrasses our 3 local State MP,s and Mayor who couldnt even get the $195 mil for the Haughton Stage 2 promised with the Qld budget $110 mil short . Townsville used to be a strong base for Alliance Airlines so did Treasurer Dick bother telling them that the State Government would provide financial support for the $60 mil repair and maintenance facility to be built at Rockhampton airport for Alliance ? .

    • The Magpie says:

      See your point about Alliance, Mike, but we have to be wary of losing sight of the overall northern benefits. put bluntly, we – Townsville – can’t have it all, and in honesty, we’ve got a pretty healthy share of has been allocated over the years. Many of the problems only start at council level, as the mayor thrashes around seeking a legacy instead of responsible, steady allocation of funds and tamping down debt.

  3. Achilles says:

    Thank you Townsville Cowboys on behalf of all the NRL teams for your continued selfless sacrifice enabling all of us to improve our overall performance records.

    • The Magpie says:

      The used to be an old joke (which will only be understood by the older of us) in the 80s, a certain Sydney footballer was nicknamed George Negus, because he would only work for 60 Minutes. Seems the Cowboys are a team of George Negus’s … top grade patches of flashy brilliance before a group micro sleep. But ending the season in less embarrassing fashion than they started, and giving reason to hope for better next year. Maybe a team of Tracy Grimshaws … seeing that charging at you would put the wind up any opposition, she never gives up.

      • Doctor Know says:

        Lucky for cowgirls that manly only turned up for 20 minutes. Otherwise a Bradman would have been on the cards. Since the girls lost Scott, Thurston and Lancini, they have been an embarrassment. With no clue to how to get out of the hole. They are not qualified to enter the $50m high performance centre.

        Go Manly!

  4. Prince Rollmop says:

    Makes you wonder if Phil is poking the bear
    behind the scenes. Phil Thompson is way smarter than Jenny Hill. Cr Shill is a brash, loud arrogant bully and buffoon. An emotional fool. Phil is articulate, clever and strategic. It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if there is a really clever piece of strategy at play here and ‘Phil suddenly steps in and makes sure the NAIF funding for the casino project gets over the line’. Once again, this would show up Team Hill and how they can’t even procure enough money to run a local street raffle. And yet again Mr Thompson, who technically isn’t even in power in Townsville, pulls off another financial win for our region. This would bang a few more nails into Jenny Hills coffin!

    • Glib Observer says:

      Although I support Phil over the wankers put forth by “the worker’s party”, I cannot help but see him as the LNP’s current or eventual puppet to retain Herbert. His intentions and heart seem pure enough, but eventually the LNP will want payback for every little thing he tries to achieve for Townsville and for Veterans. Although some politicians enter the political arena for the common good, in the end they all get mired and stuck in the tarry cesspit of politic’ing. Further, I hear the laborious party is now seeking a veteran to oppose him. Well, if Phil is naive the one who is willing to represent Labor is an absolute moron. I’ve served in the ADF under a Labor commonwealth government, and they bring out the thuggery and threats while doing their usual of denying any wrong doing and claiming to be supportive and all the while eroding the hard won benefits of the common digger. As for MAJGEN Stuart representing state Labor, he’s vying for bigger things and more power and one doesn’t achieve that rank by being a supporter of workers, diggers, or even fellow officers but by leaving a trail of broken bodies, minds, and careers in one’s wake.

  5. Alahazbin says:

    Texas bans abortion after 6 weeks pregnancy.
    Texas allows every Texan to carry guns.
    Looks like there will be less abortions.

    • The Magpie says:

      Less rapes, too, if gals holster up. And Daddy better check the gun cabinet before stealing into his daughter’s bedroom.

      • Last Drinks says:

        When the Governer of Texas gets his mistress pregnant, it will be quite refreshing that he will allow her to have the baby and support it. No doubt the Governor’s wife will be equally pleased.

        • The Magpie says:

          Reminds The ‘Pie of the old refrain chanted by an American friend:

          Here I sit,
          My cheeks a flexin’,
          Here comes another Texan.

          • I’ll be plucked says:

            Or this one Pie, when we paid to have a loo seat at public toilets:

            ‘Here I sit broken hearted, paid my dosh and only farted’!!! :)

  6. Doug K says:

    Went on the Bully website this morning to see what spin they came up with for the latest Cowboys embarrassment.
    True to form, instead of a report on what happened during the game – missed tackles (9 in one run from Many fullback Tom Whatshisname which resulted in a try), penalties from the kick-off, dropped balls, conceding 4 tries in the last 8 minutes etc, etc – we got the usual spin on how disappointed the players were and hopes for better performances next season.
    I wanted to make a comment but when I clicked on “Join the conversation” nothing happened. It seems I’m not allowed to have an opinion any more, probably due to the fact that I have called out the Cowboys and the Bully sports department nunerous times this year.
    It’s not the first time I have been blocked from making a comment on a Cowboys story, so I suspect this clumsy attempt at protectionism is part of the paper’s new “My News” innovation.
    You know, the one they use to decide what stories readers are allowed to read.
    Had to pinch myself to see if I was dreaming and living in China or Russia but no, I was definitely in Townsville – home of the hapless Cowboys and the team’s public relations department, the Townsville Bulletin.

    • The Magpie says:

      Dougie, Dougie, Dougie, please, it is for your own good. you know in your own heart they are All For You … or is that All After You?

    • Mundingbird says:


      Blocking is the new norm.

      They do not want your perspective [truth] harassing their story.

      Harper,Walker,The Astonisher have all blocked me !

      Some on here may have a longer rap sheet.

      • The turd polisher says:

        They haven’t blocked me because I don’t look at their pages. Fuck em. Morons the lot of them. I would rather look at my lilly white ass in the mirror than look at their pages. And that’s saying something.

  7. Snowpeas says:

    While we stress over kids finishing Year 12 unable to read and write, at the other end of the spectrum the NSW Office of the Children’s Guardian wants children as young as three asked what pronoun they prefer. Daily Telegraph 2/9

  8. Critical says:

    If I remember Mayor Jackboots announced this recycled water deal with great fanfare.


    Project was to water numerous parks on the Southfield of the city including the Murray Sportsfields, Sherriff Park and Queensland Country Stadium and nearby parkland, medium strip’s etc. However this project seems to have disappeared into the TCC ‘fooled you, project isn’t going to happen files”.

    I thought that most of the pipeline had been laid to carry the recycled water but maybe I’m wrong. Maybe she’s had the pipeline laid but doesn’t have or has redirected the funds for the building and running of the treatment/ recycling and pumping station.

    Maybe Fran should be asking some questions as it’s my understanding that most of the project is in her division.

    Some the project is in useless Liam Mooney’s division but he either doesn’t know about it and or couldn’t give a f**k.

    Does anyone know what’s happening with this project?

  9. Critical says:

    Now for a bit of a laugh but hey TCC what were the outcomes of the community consultations that your council publically said it was undertaking into changes to nude beach legislation, see link below. I’m certain that this report isn’t commercial and in confidence.


    • Dave of Kelso says:

      It is all about saving the ratepayers money, a Mullet high priority. If the Council approves a free beach the Council, in these woke times, is duty bound to provide sunscreen, as they do at swimming pools etc. Now with all that skin it would require lots of sunscreen. A cost to the ratepayers. We do not want a skin cancer riddled naturist sueing the Council and costing the ratepayers even more.

      So, easier to say no than recommend that those attending the free beach bring their sunscreen.

      And from personal experience there is more respect for personal space, and better public courtesy and manners on a gazetted free beach than will be found on most clothed beaches.

  10. One legged tap dancer says:

    So, we’ve scored a couple of NRL finals games this coming Saturday night.
    A couple of questions for Jenny Hill and our 3 State Government puppets:
    – how much did we, the ratepayers and taxpayers, pay for the priviledge of hosting these games when the NRL had nowhere else to go?
    – whey aren’t our Cowboys there to play a game?
    – would the NRL even consider having a finals game in Townsville if covid wasn’t a factor?
    – how much ratepayers money will Jenny Hill spend on pop-up food and drink vans in Flinders Street to make the NRL finals look like they benefit all residents?
    – if Brisbane is in lockdown and Townsville gets – wait for it – to host the NRL Grand Final, how much will we pay for that priviledge?
    Jenny, Scott, Aaron, Les, Dolan….anyone?
    No, didn’t think so.

    • The Magpie says:

      As Nesters know, The ‘Pie doesn’t generally venture into the sporting zoo very often … that is, to talk purely about a game, a team or specific performance, and the such like but he will say this about a sorry spectacle we will witness possibly as soon as next weekend but certainly when the rugger buggers take the field. The playing surface of Total Tools Stadium is a disaster waiting to happen, it was noticeably disintegrating during last weekend’s game. So first we get a double header of heavy hitters next weekend … that’s great news and a welcome boost for the city and the north generally … and then just two weeks later, another double header of the four toughest teams in world rugby. Now, when it comes to ploughing up a playing surface, league players are a bunch of nancy boys, especially in the fake scrum department – when compared with the ruckin’, rollin’ mauling rugby lads. And should there be any rain from this moment on, we will be back to the old SCG pitches of the 1950s.

  11. Doug K says:

    It gets worse.
    Tried to send an email to Nick Wright (Townsville Bulletin sports department) tonight regarding his story on how the Cowboys are shaping up for next season but it bounced back.
    Seems I’ve also been blocked from communicating with the guy who writes the reports on Cowboys games. Now that’s a badge of honour.
    Dammit – I bet he gets an invite to the Cowboys wake this year, and I don’t.
    Oh well, I can always go down to the Shamrock Hotel and hear the truth for a change.
    Four years of Cowboys dismal failure and our newspaper suggests we look forward to next season?
    Is this as good as it gets?
    Nick, Craig Warhurst, Lewis Ramsay, anyone…..

  12. Donald says:

    For the Magpie that has everything


  13. NQ Gal says:

    Anyone else feeling sick after having to pay rates bills today in order to secure whatever scrap of a “discount” is provided?

    • The Magpie says:

      Want to feel sicker, Gal? Read this to know how $750K of your hard earned in being so well spent … a pointless jolly by the biggest bludgers this side of the dark coloured stump.


      • The turd polisher says:

        Frau Brumme-smit looks like she is wearing a German Luftwaffe bomber jacket! How the fuck can you wear that gear in this weather? Road trip my ass. Just an opportunity to get out of the office and stretch their legs, all at the expense of the ratepayer. Outrageous!

        • The Magpie says:

          Seriously, ‘road trip’ is the most blatant bullshit imaginable, a genuine slap in the face to TEL’s membership and of course the Townsville ratepayers.

          • The Magpie says:

            Indeed they have. But look at this …. while Mrs B-S (how appropriate!) and her crew were farting around out west, disrupting actual productive business people’s busy day, something was announced down south that makes one think the TEL boss wanted to be out of town at this time.

            This from the always informative IQ Queensland site:

            Bowen will become headquarters for an authority overseeing key northern water projects, creating new local jobs.
            The Federal Government plans to relocate the North Queensland Water Infrastructure Authority (NQWIA) from Canberra to Bowen and expand the organisation.

            The NQWIA was established in 2019 to provide strategic planning and coordination of Commonwealth resources to implement the Hughenden Irrigation Scheme and the Hells Gates Dam project, including Big Rocks Weir.

            Deputy Prime Minister and Minister for Infrastructure, Transport and Regional Development Barnaby Joyce said moving the NQWIA north would put it at the heart of the region it supports.
            “This shift will see the North Queensland Water Infrastructure Authority strategically located adjacent to the proposed Urannah Dam, and the same region where we are building the Big Rocks Weir project and investigating a future Hells Gates Dam,” Mr Joyce said.

            Wonder if the Astonisher will have a rush of blood and ask if TEL lobbied for this for Townsville, which geographically is far better located for this HQ than Bowen. Or better still, the paper should grow a pair and ring Barnaby Blabbermouth and ask why Bowen and not Townsville. Indeed, it has been Townsville Enterprise in charge of umpteen federally-funded feasibility studies on Hell’s Gate. Given that, why did Townsville miss out?

            Good luck to Bowen, no probs with them getting it personally, but we need answers on this here in Townsville from our ‘peak tourism and marketing body’ whose job it is to keep a finger in the Canberra pulse. (No grubby jokes please.)

      • Critical says:

        Will someone please volunteer to go visit this mob of idiots and demonstrate to them how to take their hands out from underneath their desks, place them on their desktops and keyboards and do some real work.

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        Keen to see any Administrative and Operational instructions for this trip. It’s (supposed) aim and objectives, and meeting agendas for the various entities that TEL Road Trippers met.

        And then, the key issues raised by the various entities, courses of action for resolution, and timelines for completion.

        Also the accommodation, food, and drinks bill.

    • Flying Monkey says:

      Buckle up dorothy

      Rates will soon be another 1000 a year

      • The Magpie says:

        That’s just blowing smoke up our arse, Banana Breath. “Soon’ is a very different thing to a tortoise as it is to a fly.

  14. Cantankerous but happy says:

    Be interesting to see the numbers but with concerts, state of origin and now semi finals and rugby tests I would imagine more people will have attended other events rather than cowboys games at the stadium this year, doing what it was built for.

    • The Magpie says:

      But it was always going to be that way, Cankers, the average attendance at Smiles was between 13/14K, Elton John wouldn’t crack his knuckles above the keyboard for those numbers. The ‘build it and they will come’ philosophy of our ruling brains trust ignored the reality of this city. But there will be a mighty smoke screen provided by the SOO, finals and rugby internationals, all of which could easily have been played at Smiles, which incidentally, had approx 1500 more seats than the new stadium.

      • The Magpie says:

        And just for the record, Cowboys games this year attracted an average attendance of 14,470, or a dismal 57.88%.

        • Red Seat says:

          I suspect that most NRL teams and their ‘home’ stadiums would relish a “dismal” average crowd of 58% capacity. According to one article I found online, “the sad truth is rugby league attendances have not grown. In fact, the 2009 regular season average of 16,069 shrunk 6.4 per cent to 15,030 by 2019.” The main problem, in NRL and AFL attendances, is location. Suburban grounds in Sydney, Melbourne and of course the old Smiles at Townsville, are doomed to fail because there is no closely adjacent entertainment strip. By those measures, our new stadium next to the CBD has more chance of being amongst the leaders in the field even if the whole field is sitting around 50% capacity in average attendance figures.

          • The Magpie says:

            Hahaha, love it, there’s a job waiting for you in Spin City, Red Seat. So we will be leaders in the field (whatever field that is, certainly won’t be responsible spending of taxpayer money) where we spent almost $300million on a stadium to support a sport that has a decade of falling attendances , due entirely to the superior technology of television. Regarding proximity to entertainment strips being a key to bringing back crowds, whose measures are you using, Laurence Lancini’s? Sounds exactly like the line he was spinning to secure a publicly funded stadium cheek by jowl with his multiple CBD interests, tenanted by hospitality/entertainment venues.

            Look, The ‘Pie hopes you’re right, and the old bird’s long held belief of backroom self-interested rorting of the public purse is proved wrong, but 58% capacity of a stadium every couple of weeks in the winter ain’t gunna cut it for the promises made to a struggling CBD.

          • Hee Haw says:

            Explain this then, Baboons Arse
            Parramatta Eels at the even greater seating capacity of BankWest Stadium capacity (30,000) average crowd this season of 22,306 or 75%.

          • Red Seat says:

            Oh really, Magpie. What the fuck has responsible spending of taxpayer money got to do with it? The NQ Stadium was built because of a tsunami of popular local support at the end of a long and winning Cowboys season (flogging Brisbane in front of a Sydney crowd) in the runup to a federal election. In the light of current government spending (at all levels) the $300 million was peanuts, especially since ratepayers from Townsville contributed bugger-all. If some government or other threw another $300 million down to build a matching arts/cultural convention centre next to the stadium you’d be the first in line for the job at Spin City – which, hopefully, you’d turn down if only to give a bigger tugger a go.

          • The Magpie says:

            Yes, of course The ‘Pie would be cheering and boosting arts/cultural/convention cenjtre … because bit would make, not take, money. Wouldn’t you be?

            And BTW you mean there’s a bigger one than The Magpie?

          • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

            Welcome back Dolan Hayes, we (didn’t) miss you.

      • Guy says:

        Remember all those years ago before it was built when I was saying the stadium was a waste of money ?

        Thankfully the hill council decided NOT to pay for it. At the time it was expected for council taxpayers to pay for it , just like the pipeline to nowhere, the opposition’s election pledge was to get us to just get things done and wanted us to chip in 300 million to get one section done. Imagine if we had taken 300 million debt for the stadium and 300 million for the pipeline PLUS all the debt for some other project – we’d have passed the 1 billion dollar mark years ago.

        However you slice it – this is as good as it gets. You should probably start budgeting for more council rate rises, don’t think an “opposition” will make things better – they will only take MORE debt.

        The pipeline was never really viable unless the state and fed was going to front up 1.5 billion for water from the burdekin to Townsville. Water recycling is the most cost effective way short and long term to help resolve townsvilles water problem.

        Too late now.

  15. Nickster says:

    Are we seeing a shift in the media? I have no doubt these opinions did exist a year ago, they have just been muted.


  16. Interested observer says:

    Jenny Hill is going to great lengths to convince ratepayers they aren’t paying the NRL for the right to host the 2 semi-final games this weekend.
    She remained tight-lipped about the millions we paid for the State of Origin game – commercial-in-confidence, of course – but has been on tv and in today’s Bully happily explaining what’s happening with this weekend’s games:
    “At this point of time we have not put any money towards it,” Cr Hill said.
    The carefully chosen words “At this point of time” should have ratepayers bracing for another pineapple.
    And I totally agree with Pie’s prediction of the playing surface at the stadium turning into a freshly ploughed field after it hosts the NRL double header, then 2 rugby internationals. If you’ve got time, look at the tv vision of the Townsville surface during last weekend’s game against Manly, then check out the surface of the Gold Coast stadium on Sunday. Chalk and cheese.
    A workman who helped lay the grass in Townsville told me the reason for the chopped up surface is that someone stuffed up when they were building the stadium and forgot to start growing the grass in time for the opening.
    The only alternative was to switch to an inferior, faster growing grass. Could that possibly be the problem?
    Have also heard a rumour that the State Government is planning to secretly replace the grass in the coming off-season, at a cost that will remain commercial-in-confidence, of course.
    Bet you don’t read about that in the Townsville Bulletin.

    • The Magpie says:

      Re surfaces, the performance of the Rockhampton playing field was impressive … looked a treat on TV and appeared to come through some tough games with flying colours.

  17. Interested observer says:

    The crowds at Cowboys home games are actually impressive when you take into account the team’s dreadful record.
    During the past 4 seasons the Cowboys have won just 29 of their 92 games, finishing 13th in 2018, 14th in 2019, 14th in 2020 and 15th in 2021.
    Yet the punters keep buttering up, buying season tickets which lock them into going to every game, regardless of how the team is performing.
    With that sort of record you would think there would be big changes to the way the club is run, and who runs it.
    But no, according to the powerbrokers in charge of the “mates” club everything is honky dory.
    Perhaps its time’the fans put the chairman and directors on notice by buying their tickets game by game next year, instead of season passes.

    • The Magpie says:

      Your point would be even more impressive if we had access to the number of season ticket/seats sold and match it to the actual turn-outs for the matches.

  18. Snowpeas says:

    Five police cars run off the road and undergoing repairs while Nth Qld Magistrate, Cathy Wadley had her house broken into, was threatened with a crowbar and had her car stolen. No discrimination in this City!

    • The Magpie says:

      Wonder if any of Cath’s assailants were some she let off on parole or with a wrist slap … Magistrate Wadley is widely known as one of the softest touches on the Queensland courts.

      • Grumpy says:

        A mere ten years post admission experience in the sheltered workshop of Legal Aid before she got appointed to a $360K gig, plus one of the best super funds in Australia. This will bring her down to earth from planet Blithely Unaware.

      • Jatzcrackers says:

        Don’t think the next little bugger will get a slap on the wrist if magistrate Caths surprise ‘in home meeting’ was a big shock to her. The unfortunate one or three who front her bench will most likely go home with their balls in a sling !

  19. Dave of Kelso says:

    Meet Father of the Year.


    This is not a good look and will do nothing to assist Phillip Thompson’s re-election.

    • Russell says:

      What more did you expect from the ABC Dave?

      • Messy says:

        Yes what a horrible mess Andrew Barr ACT Chief Minister and Labor Party member approves an exemption from The Prime Minister to leave Canberra and return.

        When will Andrew learn party politics comes before good governance and maturity.

        He can certainly learn a lot from our spiteful Premier where the first thing you do is look after yourself, and inflate your ego by wooing sports and movie stars, they love COVID exemptions.

      • Tenacious D says:

        Just the truth and facts as demonstrated in DOK’s link

  20. One legged tap dancer says:

    So Kelso Dave, do you want to back anyone to beat Phil Thompson at the next election?
    If so, let me know. Please!

  21. The Magpie says:

    Here’s a very serious question: since when can a state premier dictate how, where and when ADF personnel, especially those on active service, can return to Australia? Surely the Commonwealth Government is the only entity that can interfere with ADF plans of this nature?

    Queensland soldiers sent to Afghanistan to rescue refugees are being held up in Dubai, unable to return home because the State Government has not approved a special exemption to quarantine in the hotel system.
    This is despite providing a special exemption to Indian cricketers and the wives and girlfriends of NRL players, who were provided with the opportunity to quarantine in Brisbane amid a two-week ban on new arrivals.

    Quarantine for soldiers would not be a problem, but if it were, then its is none of Anna Palaszczuk’s business. She is clearly out of control, and Smirko appears politically emasculated by not putting an instant stop to this arrant nonsense.

    Poor fella, my country, indeed.

    • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

      Can somebody buy these poor blokes a football and a pretend trophy? The silly Premier Puddleduck will then line up for a photo with them as she waves them through.

    • Jatzcrackers says:

      This would be the same Qld Premier who requested and received ADF members to assist Qld police and health officials at the Qld/NSW boarder !
      Morrison should step up and tell our Hitler style Premier to just fuck off and leave ADF matters to the Commonwealth.
      This woman is a total bully, out of control with power and believes in her own mind that she and the Chief Health Officer are saving us all !

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Our country is fucked, it truly is, this thing has highlighted the great failure of our states, they are a fucking disgrace. My son has been denied entry back into Qld twice after serving on excercise and overseas with the defence force. He like so many in defence are so disgusted with the way the states are behaving and the way they are being treated. They are equally pissed off with Morrison for signing them up to state border operations, they feel very uncomfortable being used as a domestic law enforcement, it is not what the defence force does.

  22. On Two Wheels says:

    Reading the piece in today’s paper regarding exporting Hydrogen from Townsville. Not one mention of the “Hydrogen Champion”. Was Loser Les left out?

  23. Grumpy says:

    Apparently, there’s a new game in town called “Throw a rock at someone armed with a gun”. I suggest that the participants try the next round in Israel.

  24. Prince Rollmop says:

    Is the TCC Prince Ralstons castle under attack? As most know, the part-time CEO also serves on the Gladstone Ports Corporation Board as a Director. The CCC has recently being looking into some disturbing practises at the corporation including nepotism and favouritism amongst other things. There has been a mass turnover of managers, the Board Chairman has just announced that he isn’t going to renew his contract this month, and one other deadbeat Director has her contract up for renewal. The Prince has 2 years left to run, but it makes you wonder which scalp at the Port might fall next? The Prince could certainly do with more time to manage the business of our local Council rather than all his other interests.

    • The Magpie says:

      Interesting info, thanks, Smelly Herring. But maybe your conclusion is 180 degrees wrong …. maybe the GPC board clean-out is setting up our snake oil salesman to be the supremo in Gladstone. That would be great news for Townsville, he really would have to piss off from Walker Street then, and we might just be able to get an experienced CEO unencumbered by hidden agendas and workplace time constraints.

  25. The Magpie says:

    If you think the world is crazy, try this on for size.
    Mexico has just decriminalized abortion unanimously, this in a country which is 82% Catholic. The news set the Twitterverse on fire. Two of the best:

    Jerry Ballard

    The irony that Texans could be swarming over the Mexico border for healthcare is too much.

    Marc Goldstein

    Does (Texas Governor) Abbott think if he makes Texas awful enough, then Mexico will finally build and pay for the Wall?

    • Parson Blossomnose says:

      Abortion is an individual right.

      Especially when there is no penalty for the inseminator outside rape or incest.

      • Every sperm is sacred says:

        If it isn’t rape or incest then surely the women should take some responsibility, after all it takes 2 to tango.

        • The Magpie says:

          But the way it works is that the bloke doesn’t have to … left holding the baby is a literal saying in these cases. Is that fair?

          And your name is a statement of belief, should you not be adviocating a ban on jerking off, in your books, that surely tantamount to murder?

          Anyway, it’s a private decision and is nobody else’s business.

  26. J. B says:

    Townsville makes the news again.

  27. Dave of Kelso says:

    Yep, the Puddleduck’s changes to the Youth Justice Act seem to be working real well, except if you live in Townsville. What a joke, except it is not!


  28. Happy Camper says:

    Fuck I hate Townsville. Some prick broke in and stole my laptop.

    If I can find another prison farm that will take me, them I’m out of here.

  29. One legged tap dancer says:

    Any one else noticed the gender inequality in the Townsville Bulletin’s Eye magazine?
    Two weeks ago all but one of the stories were about women.
    Just a coincidence, I figured.
    Then last weekend ALL of the stories were about women.
    The Eye editor is – you guessed – also female.
    If a male tried to get away with publishing a male-only magazine they would be hung and quartered.
    I’m not suggesting that should happen to the Eye editor, but surely in the name of accuracy they should change the name from Townsville Eye to Women’s Weekly.

    • fwyp says:

      I have not kept details, but I think that Townsville Eye has had only one male picture on the front page as the lead article, since International Wimmens Day, whenever that was. And a large proportion of issues since, have mainly had articles about female achievers, plus full pages of photos of female-only gatherings.

      Have they no conscience? If I wanted to read a women’s magazine, I’d buy Women’s Weekly.

    • Ducks Nuts says:

      The Eye editor is none other than Bettina Warburton. Formerly Bettina Giardina. When you say her name make sure you use you most nasal sounding voice and ensure your pony tail swings from side to side.

      • The Magpie says:

        To the best of The ‘Pie’s knowledge, Bettina never had a pony tail, well not when he knew her as chief of staff at the paper. A lot of people found her personally difficult, she wasn’t a good people manager, but she lived her life in stressed panic, because the demand to find stories ain’t easy under some editors. But tell you what, although we didn’t along all that well, The ‘Pie is happy to report that Bettina’s got more experience and journalistic nous than the rest of the motley crew of young guns put together.

  30. Snowpeas says:

    Wondering if they’ll story the announcement that the NSW Woman of the Year Award is now open to men?

  31. Achilles says:

    In the USA they have just removed the statue of General Robert E. Lee in Richmond. Denying history is trying to escape reality, it happened and he lost.

    They’ll probably erect a statue of George Floyd to satisfy the woke morons.

    • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

      Taking down a statue is not denying history, it’s redecorating.

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        “Save those Yankee dollars. The South will rise again!”

      • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

        Steve, a bit like the Taliban redecorating the statues of Buddha? Being “woke” must be such a burden, hope they pay you well at the propaganda farm.

        • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

          Ridiculous comparison – the Banian Buddhas were blown up not removed.

          Furthermore, the Lee statue is literally propaganda, you just like it because it’s for your side!

          • The Magpie says:

            You never let us down for a good laugh, Steve of Belligerent Gardens … ‘the Lee statue is literally propaganda, you just like it because it’s for your side!’

            ‘Your side?’ hahahaha … so the fact that you DON’T like it is NOT propaganda? And ‘literally’?

            Chortle, wheeze, oh, you are a one, Stevie Weavie.

          • Lord Howard Hertz says:

            I’m starting to see The ‘Pie’s point about your – ahem – unique understanding of English. Blowing something up certainly removes it, seems it’s just a matter of method and degree.

          • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

            The project of erecting confederate statues is well established as a ideological one to promote lost cause ideology in the post reconstruction south, so propaganda yes. If you learned history from books instead of statues you might know this. If you can read books. Having no statue is a neutral state of affairs.

            Howard, the point is that the Buddha statues were destroyed not shuffled off to a museum or warehouse for storage.

          • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

            I just wanna give little Stevie a big hug, he’s so cute and harmless,. A bit like a disabled puppy.

  32. Snowpeas says:

    Townsville’s new title is “Car Theft Capital of Queensland” with stolen cars up 124.5 per cent with the Police Minister and Youth Justice Minister saying they’ll keep the TSCAG review confidential but will give it a name change. TEL should take a holiday.

    • The Magpie says:

      Better still, TEL could take them on a road trip, so other communities can share in the oh-so-successful fight against crime that Aaron Harpic keeps telling us about.

      • Doctor Know says:

        A good friend of mine in a very large and respected local car dealership serves yet another customer cashed up with insurance money to replace their stolen car. It’s repeated at least weekly. And it’s tough getting any sort of new car within 6 months he tells me. Inconvenient. Wasteful. Senseless. Avoidable.

        But vote Anna and the boys because they keep us safe.

        • The Magpie says:

          Hey, this is good for the local economy, and even those not completely trashed provide a steady stream of work for smash repairs, auto electricians and Bob Jane. Next thing, Aaron Harper will be recommending these kids for an industry award.

          BTW ‘it’s tough getting any sort of new car within 6 months’? You’re friend must be interested in Lamborghinis, two or three phone calls will show that the biggest wait is for the next ship or the road trip up from Brisbane.

  33. Dave of Kelso says:

    Really, all the police in Queensland can come to Townsville to roundup the little snots, but, in the long run it will not make one jot of difference until there are wide ranging reforms to deal decisively with the current crop, which now are beyond reform, and interventions to assist the very young and their families, to prevent the very young becoming snots.

    Such interventions might be to roundup up the group of primary school aged aboriginal children seen playing near Apex Park at about 11.15AM today. Today being a school day.

    Good luck to the police, the problem is the Puddleduck and her legislation, to which the judiciary have to adhere.

  34. Old Tradesman says:

    Can someone answer this simple question, why have the water levels at the Ross River Dam been taken off the BOM river heights chart?

  35. Snowpeas says:

    Cricket Australia confirms it would have “no alternative” other than to cancel the historic First Test against Afghanistan if the women’s programs in the country are scrapped. TB 9/9

  36. Red Seat says:

    Maybe the problem starts when we use police to “deal with” the issue instead of making the “wide ranging reforms” you write about. We’ve made the same mistake over and over, the last notable time being the Don Dale fiasco in the NT. Did you notice the headlines just a few weeks ago:

    “Northern Territory children mistreated in facilities such as the infamous Don Dale Youth Detention Centre have won a $35 million payout, after the NT government reached a record-breaking settlement with law firm Maurice Blackburn.”

    One of the victims of that shameful fiasco has just won a case in the High Court and will likely take Australia’s largest media organisations to the cleaners over their defamation of him.

    Using police to solve social problems is a loser’s game. We know, and you admit it first up, law and order campaigns simply will not work.

    • The Magpie says:

      Fair comment, but please include to whom you are replying to when commenting, otherwise the thread is difficult to follow. Thanks.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      That’s true, this could all be sorted by just jailing them, the savings in police resources could be directed to prisons. Building and running prisons creates good employment as well, so it’s a good win for society. I think most people would agree to a 1% levy to build and run jails to lock up dregs and keep them away from the rest of us, I know I would.

      • Red Seat says:

        You could call your youth prison DonDaleToo and staff it with graduates of the Cantankerous Finishing School (Motto: ‘We fuckin’ hold a hose on ten year olds’), funded entirely by the top OnePercent. And make yourself sole responsible director of the staff PTSD benevolent fund which would be stretched from Day1.

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        But, oh dear, they must come out for sunshine, fresh air and health giving exercise.
        That is why I would like to see prison chain gangs cleaning roadsides etc.
        Further, it would be a viable warning to the snots, thus far, not yet in prison, to change their ways……………..or maybe not.

        • The Magpie says:

          Hate to be serious when someone is being amusing and sage … but bit of a knee jerk reaction there, Dave … adding the humiliation of a modern version of putting offenders in stocks would be counter productive with someone who is already anti-social … and in quite a few instances, one imagines, could turn them sociopathic. Or just turn them into hopeless drunks who beat their wives and girlfriends, who stick around to have kids, who in turn run out of control da dum da dum … ‘where have all the flowers gone’.

          • Russell says:

            Unfortunately “Pie, Red Seat has overlooked the fact that all of the “wide ranging reforms” tried in the past haven’t worked either. Dave’s comment actually has merit I think, done sensitively with culturally appropriate supervision of course.

          • The Magpie says:

            hahahaha …. gasp, wheeze … good one, Russ… ‘sensitively with culturally appropriate supervision’. The ‘Pie can already hear the howls of righteous indignation from the indigenous lobby, with cries of ‘chain gang mentality’ and ‘disguised racism’. Look, surely those calling for this sort of punishment has a bottom line is that any work such gangs would do is a incidental and of virtually of no value and the real purpose of public humiliation. If the aim is to put offenders back on track to live in society, do you really think this sort of treatment would help? The ‘Pie is certain it would reinforce further simmering resentment and lead to a number of released offenders stepping it up a notch, and becoming even more violent in their behaviour. Properly devised punishment and rehabilitation programs, with the twin elements of being harsh enough to act as a deterrent but positive enough with education and mentoring to give offenders hope of a normal life, must be devised immediately if we are to have any hope of breaking the cycle.

        • Old Tradesman says:

          I thought the Bail Houses had been shut down, the one on the corner of Gulliver St and Ross River Rd is in full production. You cannot believe a word the gutless State Labor government tell us poor plebs, unless it pertains to the NRL and their Wags.

  37. Dr Phil says:

    May I suggest that we petition the only person who has been able to get anything done in Townsville – Phil Thompson!! Forget Nanna Anna, her footstool Commissioner Carroll, The Mullet and Townsville’s 3 blind mice as they are all neutered incompetent twats. Phil’s our man!!

    C’mon Phil, tell Scotty we are desperate and need a couple of dollars spent on police reinforcements. If you can pull it off, so to speak, you’ve got the next Federal election in the bag!

  38. Dave of Kelso says:

    Hello Everybody,

    I thought you would like to read a happy battery factory story.


    • The Magpie says:

      Excellent story. Now how about a road trip to Sydney for Mayor Mullet and Ms B-S of the Dudley Do Nothings, offering free land an Lansdown for a start factory here … NAIF would surely be interested in this home grown idea than some American based scammers.

  39. Interested observer says:

    Re availability of new cars.
    I went looking for a new Honda Accord hatch a couple of months ago and was told they wouldn’t have any for six months. They wouldn’t even take an order.

    • The Magpie says:

      Sounds like a typically smug Townsville car dealership. But very much doubt a blanket claim of six months on all makes is correct … but then again, The ‘Pie is sure someone will let him know.

      • Mike Douglas says:

        Interested observer , Jan order , June delivery for our latest work vehicle and many people have to take certain colours offered on other makes + models for 4-6 mth deliveries . That’s the reason used cars have increased in value .

      • Prince Rollmop says:

        The car shortage is very real. Due to factory shutdowns across Asia there is a big shortage of computer chips worldwide. Simply put, not enough chips are being built. No chip equals no car. It’s so bad that many big brand vehicle producers are having to scale back car building at a time when demand for new cars is exponential. An unprecedented and bizarre situation due to COVID. Interesting times, or as Scotty from Marketing would say; “these are unprecedented times”.

    • Alahazbin says:

      IO,, Go down to the Burdekin to get your new wheels. They will take your order a d it won’t be 6 months.

      • Dave Sth says:

        That or Brisbane. I was told on posting in as a youngster that it was cheaper to fly down troll Brissy car yards till you find what you want and drive back over a weekend. They weren’t lying, I only ever bought 1 car in the town and that was one that was brand new and heavily discounted during the downturn on the lot at Mike Carney.

        • The Magpie says:

          Well, wasn’t that responsible of Mayor Mullet the moment she was elected to buy in Brisbane and have it shipped up, courtesy you and me. Nothing to do with Tony Ireland refusing, when she was a mere councillor, her request to illegally claim damage repair on insurance (The ‘Pie is told she drove into a gutter, buggering her front wheel).

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Tell them to get fucked then IO, don’t put up with their shit, most buy cars from out of town these days, deliver them to your door but on a couple of occasions I have had to head out to the Bohle to pick it up from the car carrying company. Most New car yards will be gone in 10 years, except for the cheap stuff, for the rest you will just order the car direct and have it sent to you, and you wont have to listen to the drivel of local pissants.

  40. Elusive Butterfly says:

    Bugger! Bugger! Bugger!
    Mr. Pie, a vote for Lucky Phil is a vote for Morrison.
    I just couldn’t do it!
    I wouldn’t piss on that freak if he was on fire!

    • The Magpie says:

      Take your point, but who will you vote for then? Looking at our state mob of rorters, surely not Labor. Perhaps you might consider that unless Thompson starts mindlessly mouthing Morrison and Hunt inanities (which he really hasn’t to any convincing extent yet), he would be a good member even in opposition.

      • Westie says:

        Magpie, that is not how it works.

        Vote for Thompson (and if most others do as well), you are voting for him to end up as a back bencher in a reelected Morrison Government.

        Reality is if you want Morrison, all you can do is vote Thompson. If you wnat Albanese, vote for the labor candidate.

        It has nothing to do with the quality or otherwise of either local candidate.

        By the way if you vote anyone else, (say Greens or One Nation) you will make a pointless statement- look at the above guidelines for your second preference.

  41. Alahazbin says:

    Shit! SBG advocating “schools should teach an accurate view of history” in the astonisher today. Is that your ‘woke’ view Steve?

  42. Snowpeas says:

    A taskforce of State Penalties Enforcement Officers (SPER) is in town in debt crackdown on individuals and businesses which in March totalled $56m for Townsville region, owing to Dept. Transport, Mainroads, Police and Courts. Last week 5000 debtors were contacted in region and properties and vehicles seized. TB 9/9 Shame same enthusiasm not shown in crackdown on young crims.

  43. The Magpie says:

    This bloke is the funniest guy on the planet (although local lads The Shovel do pretty well in the same cynical vein.) The ‘Pie is still cackling over the cleverness of this one.

  44. Dave of Kelso says:

    When the going gets tough, that’s tough, I’m going.
    Premier of NSW motto.

  45. One legged tap dancer says:

    According to the Bully Coen Hess won the Cowboys of the Year award at last night’s end of season wake.
    That says it all really.

  46. Dave Sth says:

    Just went through my rates notice. WTF, I can’t make head or tail of it. I pay instalments per fortnight and have no visibility of my account and previous payments. Even electricity providers give you a statement of payments… $30 discount fee for paying on time is an insult too. Why bother.

    FMD there’s going to be a fairly terse phone call Monday with some questions on where I sit and the unadulterated BS in the budget snapshot! From what I have been told residential roads are going to excrement and potholes for a mate who rides motorcycles are becoming dangerous in places in the dry season!

  47. Achilles says:

    In the not too distant past someone wrote, once they start burning books, it won’t be long before they start burning people.

    Try this woke shit on for size: https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/blistering-barnacles-schools-burn-tintin-books-in-racism-storm-bkxlqx5j7

    When are school teachers going to start “teaching” instead of brain washing. The latest experience I’ve had with some, tells me that they are bloody illiterate drongo’s

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