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The Magpie

Sunday, October 20th, 2019   |   175 comments

Townsville’s Week: Kindergarten Kops, And Mayor Mullet’s Field Of Nightmares

NB Full edit Sunday AM.

If ever two issues crystallised the slow motion train wreck that is our Townsville of today, two very different but pressing issues pulled our dilemma into sharp focus this week. There was Premier Alphabet’s retreat from reality in suggesting police should baby sit juvenile offenders, and then today, the stark proof of the blundering political promise of chaos ensured by the issue of parking at our new stadium.

‘The ‘Pie also brings you some exclusive pix that offer a glimpse of Lozza Lancini’s new multi million dollar estate at Melany.

And The Astonisher’s unhealthy addiction to the scourge of modern journalism … listicals, article based on lists. But The ‘Pie suggests at least one listicle – that of mayoral achievements –  that the paper hasn’t touched yet … and don’t hold your breath.

…and a few laughs among the tears, which also just about sums up our regular Trump Gallery.

But first …

It’s Not Horseplay

36 years ago, you’ll remember that the IRA kidnapped champion thoroughbred racehorse and stud Shergar, and a ransom of $2 million was demanded for the Irish-bred and British-trained galloper. The ransom wasn’t paid, the horse was never recovered, and no knows what happened to Shergar. But it didn’t take long for the speculation to start, and the most quoted was that MacDonald’s in Ireland had started selling Shergar Burgers.

The ‘Pie was reminded of this with the grim ABC story this week that graphically charted the fate of retired race horses, which end up as pet and even human food when despatched in appalling conditions in at least one Queensland knackery. One trusts suitable punishment is meted out to those responsible for the sickening maltreatment the horses receive at the abattoir – even their final despatch can be a botched and painful affair by the sicko staff.

But Bentley reckons when word gets around the stables at nosebag time, the news will do wonders to concentrate the minds of a few neddies … especially if a making pen is used to remind them of their possible career path if they don’t win.

Race horse carvery small

Now Palaszczuk Wants Police To Babysit The Little Bastards They Arrest

General outrage all round when this story landed during the week …

Screen Shot 2019-10-20 at 1.43.02 amThe idea that bail house kids would change their ways by if coppers (on overtime) chummed up with them was about as daft as it comes, but like Americans and Trump, Queenslander have now been desensitised to this sort of off-the-wall thought farts from our Palaszczuk palookas.

The Magpie can just imagine how this would be a brilliant crime fighting tool.

A youth stands defiantly with a knife, menacing a police officer after being cornered following a servo robbery.


Kid: Get stuffed, come and get it, you filth!


Kid: (sneering) Or else what, pig.


Kid: Oh, shit. Yeah, orright, sorry, mate.

The immediate consensus was that it isn’t in a police officer’s remit to be baby sitters to lawless little snots, or to become ersatz parent figures. If this government won’t admit the glaring truth that bail houses are clearly just crash pads for juvenile night prowlers, then they can spend the money on real youth workers and programs to try and turn these kids around (good luck). But no matter what the hanky-wringers say, surely that money would be more fairly spent on putting more coppers out on patrol, as promised three years ago.

And Bentley reckons coppers might have trouble getting out of their unwelcome off-duty tasks.

Babysitting flat fin small

The suggestion is yet another one to deflect attention from the hard decisions, and the broken promises of providing the taxpaying public the police numbers to shut down the wave of lawless youth running wild in this town.

Proof That Our New Stadium Is Going To Be A Massive Clusterfuck

“If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear. “– Eric Blair (writing as George Orwell)

stadium latest

Very serious questions need to be asked about the competence and haste that went into the reports and studies that preceded the decision to build the Lancini/Hill stadium disaster. In a welcome new green shoot of the Bulletin returning to real journalism came the report today that chaos is sure to result from the lack of intelligent study regarding yet another aspect of the stadium … that of parking. And for once, the Astonisher didn’t pussyfoot around.

Parking chaos stadiumScreen Shot 2019-10-19 at 11.12.29 pmIt’s the mug punters who are die-hard footy fans that will cop a pasting through this. It is admitted that only 450 to 900 fans will use the new bus hub on game days.

In one of the most inane statements on the issue, we read the following: And with the State Government and Townsville City Council’s transport plans not yet final, one councillor has revealed it will be a case of “wait and see” how the first few games go before those in charge can iron out any kinks.”

WTF? ‘Kinks’? What planet is this councillor from … oh, sorry, that’s an oft asked question, since it turns out the Clr Paul Jacob, to still fancies himself as an alternative mayor.

Look, dopey, surely planning a 25,000 seat stadium would include priority considerations about traffic and parking requirements. C’mon, if this was a private project, the council bureaucrats would be all over it with dollars in their eyes, demanding all sorts of fees because your customers would be using council infrastructure i.e. street parking.. If you don’t believe this, ask your favourite café or restaurant owner what fee they pay for ‘car parking’ if they don’t have enough – or any – of their own private spots.

Describing the subsequently outlined problems as a ‘kink’ is like describing Ivan Milat as ‘naughty’, it is an insane departure from reality, given the rest of the story, which includes this line: There are also, according to the State Government, “at least 2000 on-street marked car parks and additional pay-on-entry car parks within private parking facilities” within a 15-minute walk of the stadium. But they warn that “parking fees and restrictions will be enforced in some areas”.

So a night at the footy could well cost you more than just a ticket to the game, it could fill either state or council coffers with a nice little earner from fines.

But the crowning insult is that the Dean Street car park will be closed to the public, because the Cowboys have done a deal with the council for its exclusive use for players, staff, executives and their favoured guests. And that is truly outrageous.

The ‘Pie has received this email from a mate who read today’s Bulletin story.

Hi, M,

Back in mid-March Scott Stewart was quoted in the Astonisher as saying “that the council had told him that there were some 3300 car parks within a reasonable walking distance from the stadium.” The use of such imprecise and undefined generalisations as ‘easy walking distance’ in political waffle-speak really gives me the irrits. Why not simply say ‘x number of carparks within x km of the stadium’? 

So I asked him if he could provide me with the details of where these car parks were located and on what basis was it determined to be ‘within a reasonable walking distance’. Was it 100 metres? 500 metres? 2 kilometres? Or more? It took me a couple of requests but eventually I received the following response from his office:

“There are 3000 designated car parks in the city (the Townsville CBD perimeter extends from Ingham Road back to the entrance to the Strand from Flinders St East, and to the Stanley Street cutting).  Once the Report on the Transport is released you will be able to see where the car park assumptions are located, however it basically consists all of Flinders Street, Sturt Street, Walker Street and Wills Street. Across the bridge there are 750 car parks in Dean Park.  Therefore of that 3000, many will be within walking distance and some may require a walk of 20-30 minutes or ride share of some sort.”

It seems that he was including the Dean Park car park in the number of available car parks. It also has to be remembered that many of these ‘3000 designated car parks in the city’ will be taken up by people not actually going to the stadium but in the city for other reasons, like say, going for a meal, or to the movies, or by the workers at these establishments.

And add to this that our mayor engineered a departure from the usual sensible parking provisions for hotels by allowing the proposed Double Tree hotel adjacent to the stadium to provide none and its guests will use street parking. Be interesting to see who pays the parking fines – the guest or the hotel – when our council grinches leave their calling cards. Or will there be a voucher system to slip on to guests dashboards?

This whole thing is insanity on a Trumpian scale.

Wanker Of The Week

This item must be mentioned here, since it is an early award connected to the stadium. The Magpie awards his award of the Greasy Glove this week to this chap.

James Nicholson - spotless group0

James Nicholson – Spotless Group

‘Were looking for a world class executive chef to lead our culinary team (and) establish an appealing North Queensland Stadium food offering.’ The stadium’s Pandanus Catering director of hospitality James Nicholson.

‘World class’? Pull the other one, mate, it yodels, that’s utter tripe, even ‘chef’ is a stretch. But with shearing sheds doing tough nowadays, sure you’ll get some suitably qualified hash slingers. But hey wait a minute, won’t that cut across all the predicted stampede to Palmer Street pre- and après- on the 12 game days a year?

Get a grip, James, old son … oh, wait on, seems you already have.

A Kick In The Listicles

news?Screen Shot 2019-08-08 at 6.00.43 pm

You can hardly avoid the latest scourge of ‘new churnalism’ dubbed ‘listicles’ – meaningless articles based on lists. Indeed, we are well acquainted with this cheap substitute for news every day in the Bulletin …. No point in going on about it, it’s a News Ltd policy across all those mastheads that are seeking to appeal to the belching, crotch scratching, wind-breaking readership … that is, all News’ papers except The Australian. Listicles is lazy writing that is on a level with the average pimply Facebook post, and is certainly not news, but desperate times call for desperate measures. But The ‘Pie has a question … why not ignore Cutest Babies, Best Pies and the previously mentioned 10 Best Bathroom Tilers Bum Cracks, and do one with actual news involved.

Now, Jenna, m’dear, since you are fitfully starting to display some actual community interest, here’s an idea for a listicle … Jenny Hill’s Top Achievments Since Becoming Mayor.

This one is sure, would generate great interest, and even possibly stimulate your flagging digital subscription drive, so called because most of the populace are giving it the finger.

Now, it’s a bit of ask to ask one of your youngsters to stop playing Fortnite and whip this one up, so The ‘Pie offers the following. Please feel free to publish, no fee required.

 Highlight’s of Jenny Hill’s mayoralty.

* Commissioned the Nous report through Labor contacts

* Sacked up to 600 council staff to make phantom savings, and then started lamenting the lack of jobs available in Townsville

* Refused to give any reason for sacking Australia’s most successful regional gallery manager whose innovative ideas greatly boosted tourism and city recognition. You also can modestly claim credit through this for making Townsville a laughing stock, and managing to have $10million in art philanthropy cancelled because of it

* Campaigned for election by rubbishing your opponents claim of a looming water crisis, and then implementing said opponent’s complete agenda for a pipeline from the Burdekin

* Although nothing to do with council, you supported a ‘passenger tax ‘ proposed by the airport owners, seeking that the travelling public fund tens of millions of dollars for renovations that would greatly enhance that company’s asset value, avoiding the need for them to spend any of their profits

* When Qantas refused to agree with the scheme, you called for a boycott of Qantas, which was universally ignored, but gave the world a chuckle about Townsville being backwoods rubes – and Qantas subsequently downgraded Townsville as a destination

*Attacked charities for ‘enabling homeless lifestyle’ by their humanitarian efforts, and fearlessly announcing you were going to ‘have them on the mat’ – a rather whimsical suggestion coming from a female mayor

* The on-going Adani airstrip deal, and the details of the $18.5million gift to an Indian shyster you remain desperate to keep secret

* You modestly refuse to entertain unanswered questions about your capability to handle the flood emergency

* Do a clever mates’ deal to employ Jamie Durie for a pointless water saving campaign, and in the face of widespread criticism, award council chums Carey Ramm’s AEC a lucrative and totally unnecessary overview contract of the Durie rort,

* You continue to award Townsville Enterprise an annual $750,000 stipend from ratepayers funds for no discernible or accountable return … even although you are the Deputy Chair of TEL (and have your council legal flunkies insist there is no conflict of interest)

* Deceptive promotion of LGAQ scheme of Local Buy as Buy Local, supposedly boosting local business opportunities which does exactly the opposite … as a a director of LGAQ, which rakes off a percentage of Local Buy contracts, you are duty bound to promote it.

*Forced to pay Clive Palmer a reputed $50k for defamation for claims you made in the course of chasing votes

*Presiding over a dumb, short-sighted and bungled strategy for the CBD

* and today, it is revealed that you totally failed to ensure that appropriate parking provisions were in place for local patrons before agreeing to the new stadium project.

A Little Bit Of Housekeeping

Just to follow up the mystery of QCAT not releasing a date for a further directions hearings on the Adani challenge to keep secret the details of a deal about the proposed council-funded airstrip. You’ll remember The Magpie reported (and the Bulletin hasn’t mentioned) that Adani went to court opposing the Right to Information Commissioner’s ruling that the public is entitled to know the details of the agreement the company made with the Rockhampton and Townsville councils to fund a $30milion+ airstrip for Adani’s Carmichael mine.

The ‘Pie was having a problem finding a continuance date for the matter, and feared it had disappeared down one of those arcane legal rabbit holes.

But no, QCAT has confirmed there is no date because none was set. Seems that at the initial hearing a couple of weeks ago, legal directions were issued to the parties (Adani, the councils involved and the Information Commissioner) who were given until mid-November to provide QCAT with further information. And then some time after that has been digested by the court, formal directions may be given at a later date, which will presumably published on the daily court list. Although those directions issued to the parties are not currently available to the public, we will eventually get a date for further revelations in this matter, which very well may interest the CCC.

Speaking Of Housekeeping …

The Magpie church is a broad one, and the Nest’s folk get around quite a bit – including to Maleny, where Lozza l,ancini is building his retirement chateau. And it seems to be somewhat uninspiring to say the least, the locals apparently thought it was a holiday home for the Cowboys players, but little do they know that Lozza and the Cowboys are growing more distant by the day.

Lancini hoiuse 1 Lancini houseIMG_1839 lancini house 2IMG_1843

The pile has seven bedrooms, and local real estate folks in the know say no expense has been spared in the construction. But everyone is wondering about the strange location for such a well heeled resident … it is down in a hollow, with no views of the surrounding countryside. Perhaps this will keep Lozza on a short leash in a remote retirement, because , as Hillary Clinton said of Bill, Laurence is a ‘hard dog to keep on the porch.’.

What’s In a Name … Depends How Good Your Memory Is …

The ‘Pie, having been in the business, has always had an interest in the marketing aspect of the names of restaurants and cafes. The advisability of humour should be very tightly controlled or it can backfire unpleasantly. Back in the 80s, when a well established restaurant in Sydney’s eastern suburbs changed hands, as part of a makeover, its name was changed. The trend at the time was towards the sardonic, so the trendy new owners renamed it The Greedy Pig. It promptly went broke virtually overnight … its well established customer base, for which they’d paid a fortune, was 90% eastern suburbs Jewish.

Two things this week reminded The ‘Pie of this matter. He wonders at the advisability of this outlet in Northtown on Flinders Street, although investigations show that the food on offer is pretty good.

Screen Shot 2019-10-20 at 2.22.42 am

And then there was this in the Courier’s  listical of top nosheries …

Sum Yung GuysScreen Shot 2019-10-13 at 3.34.40 pm

Never thought that a restaurant would be named after a snickering schoolboy joke of the 50s. The childish chortle was that there was a Chinese restaurant called Nim Phos and it’s signature dish a soup called Crème of Sum Yung Guy.

But perhaps the owners are just youthful foodie enthusiasts who’ve never heard of matters that engaged a grubby magpie’s childhood.

Religious growth


Overseas, Two Precise Summations Of Brexit

Image-1 Screen Shot 2019-10-19 at 10.47.25 am

And The Week In Trumpsylvania


Trump’s craven betrayal and the subsequent slaughter of the former US Allies the Kurds is now being seen as a major plank in the platform to dethrone this tin pot emperor with his increasingly diseased mind. bring it on.

20191008edshe-b 73_230766 sbr100919dapr sk101419dapr 230854_rgb SHENEMAN; SYRIA,TURKEY, TRUMP, GAS, KURDS, DISASTER, INCITING ATTACKS Trumps in jail Time Trump Man of the Leer024386b955eedd87be9e737ac6b31399 53_230755 lk101619dapr lk101719dapr 230902 A23478-dailycartoon 20191012edhan-a_1 230812 20191015edphc-a sk101319dapr 20191012edhoc-a_1 cb100519dapr

A To Close, A Little Humblebrag from The Old Bird

Recognition at last!!!

Screen Shot 2019-10-16 at 11.37.21 am Magpie scourge mySuperLamePic_8166643c032c94df30292d5a4a5ae3a9


Gosh, humanity and The ‘Pie seem to have navigated another week. Plenty to talk about, have your gripe or grin in comments, they run 24/7. And a bit of a hand with a few blog bills that have landed during the week would be greatly appreciated, the donate button is below.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. Mike Douglas says:

    So T.C.C. + the extra $1.5 mil funded City deal team , Queensland Transport can’t develope a parking strategy for a 25,000 seat stadium . Rumour has it our $250 mil stadium, blown out to $300 mil has further blow outs coming but don’t ask Housing and Public works Minister Mick de Brenni as you won’t get a straight answer and I think you know who is footing the bill . Isn’t this where our 3 local MP,s should step in because let’s face it they have milked the stadium for PR opportunities but how about taking some responsibility . Regarding LGAQ local buy asking for interested parties to submit tenders for cars + trucks to be approved for Councils so they can in fact “ not buy local “ . Just ask our LGAQ board member Mayor Mullet , she has form on not buying locally .

    • The Magpie says:

      It is astounding that parking, particularly in a poorly served public transport sprawl like Townsville, was not actually at the very top of any feasibility study for the totally unnecessary stadium move. The club, the council and TEL hav never tired of rabbiting on about the Cowboys being a regional team, drawing in loyal fans from Ayr, Charters Towers, Bowen, Ingham and as far away as Cairns. They ain’t gunna taxi or rail it in.

      But hey, THERE IS one reson why parking will not be a problem at all. Here’s a very sad fact about our straited citizenry … aside from Townsville’s well known fickleness when the ‘Boys start losing regularly, fewer folks won’t be willing to spend their dwindling resources on watching a bunch of losers who chiefly reached their pinnacle on the back of one single inspirational player, and we will be seeing crowds under 10,000.

      • Mike Shearer says:

        The loyal fans “from Ayr, Charters Towers, Bowen, Ingham and as far away as Cairns”. The supposed population from which loyal fans would flock was so large in the original promotional guff that it included everyone living in north Australia, coast to coast. Darwin, Broome etc. But never worry! The attendance at the Stadium will be doubled by counting those who enter before half time, then recount them if they stay for the second half – just like the counts for V8 attendances are worked out. Except of course the V8 games are dragged out over three days, so the counts can be trebled.

    • Hee-Haw says:

      MD, not a rumour the cost was reported to be at $300 millions several months ago.
      What has not been reported is that this will be on the north side of $322 million now.

    • Roseneath Red says:

      Last time i looked there was still an operational railway line quite close…might be prudent to secure its tenure for future football antics. Punters North South and West easily catered for.

      • No More Dredging says:

        RR, interested to know what kind of vehicle you conceptualise running on that ‘operational railway line’. Presumably there would be a number of them, to service north, south and west, and they would be a new acquisition for Townsville needing a terminus somewhere. Perhaps a potential mayoral candidate could propose developing a business case to canvas the different technologies and their comparative pros and cons – in particular those ‘trackless’ bus/trams that can go anywhere on existing streets without having to build infrastructure apart from platforms.

  2. Dave Sth says:

    LOL, Lancini/Hill Stadium is very apt. The 3 times I have been in the north in the last few months the stadium parking is a subject that has come up with Taxi drivers, seems the public have been on to this one for a while… Lozza’s haste I can understand as there’s nothing like a horse called self interest and his departure south obviously has been planned for a while but this is where public officials at all levels have failed us. Where was the scrutiny and due diligence?

    As for Mr Jacob, I have conversed with him a few times over issues in Deeragun before I departed south and vented my displeasure about the Stadium when announced. To his credit he has always corresponded to try and explain himself. Personally I thought and still hold the opinion he sold himself out joining team Hill and his soul to the Developers he has railed against. IMO he will have trouble winning his division back as a lot up here are disgruntled at the largesse being splashed around in the CDB while the city fringes are neglected, Jensen Landfill for one.

    Keep up the fight Pie as the Stadium is an absolute scandal and News.com kiddies taking their orders from Holt st are studiously avoiding it. Surprised the ABC or Fairfax haven’t taken an interest in it yet…

    • The Magpie says:

      Re your last sentence Dave, bit unfair on the Astonisher, because they did go in boots and all this weekend, although they appeared from what The ‘Pie could find to studiously avoid quizzing Mayor Mullet about it. As to what you say about ABC and Fairfax, sadly ABC Radio’s ‘we don’t want no trubble’ policy of failing to actually break and follow many if any of their own stories, thus risking the wrath of complaints to the south by the local power elite, has emasculated them as a viable news source and it ill serves the community but they get their riding orders from Brisbane. A touch of the 7.30s or 4 Corners on a local level is a nice dream. Fairfax? Won’t care, no skin in the game. The Guardian, though, already has eyes on, and are carefully waiting.

  3. Garrett says:

    The whole parking debacle is a beat up by councillors stirring a pot without knowing what’s in it. Did he factor in Reid Park? The Showgrounds? No. The high school that fundraises during the V8’s parking? No. Until the plans are released just hang on to your hissy fits Townsville.

    • The Magpie says:

      So, just to be clear, Garrett, you’re saying parking will be all good and no hassle for game nights? A ‘stroll’ (the universal euphemism involved in all official parking stuff) of up to 4kms will be a pleasant saunter?

  4. Hee-Haw says:

    Interesting Blog as always Pie and a couple of additional bits for the readers.
    How much is the council spending to tarmac/concrete over all the grassed area at Reid Park which I am reliably informed they are doing?
    I wonder what Pandanus Catering in NSW https://pandanuscafe.com.au/catering will feel about having their name associated with this ? Lawyers at 10 paces when they realise I am sure.

  5. Crankie Frankie J says:

    Think the easiest way to solve the parking CAR-shuffel-FUFFEL that is about to descend on the city and give the council Hillbillies a headache is to turn the old 1300smiles stadium into a major carpark and bus the punters into town. Just saying but it will never happen as there’s no money in that for council

  6. Cantankerous but happy says:

    Clusterfuck is a perfect description for what has happened with the stadium, just a wasted opportunity to get Townsville to grow up, get out of our cars and provide public transport to stadiums and events like most places do, but not Townsville. I was planning on returning to the footy next season after many years of absence, possibly doing something corporate instead of the V8’s but it will be an absolute mess in there on game night and until they sort something out I will just watch it on the TV at home, about 2km from the stadium, 20km closer than the old one but the same hassle to get there, what a joke.

  7. Outsider says:

    Wonderful list of things the mayor has accomplished since getting power. These should be front and center for any would be candidates. Pushing these issues are negative but having a different line and vision against what you have printed today is surely a winner. I see so much advertising around Townsville for the council and you know it’s for re election. Billboards are full of them. Hard rubbish collection on Railway Ave, building Townsville future on Woolcock St heading north and now free dump weekend outside of chemist warehouse on entry to city Woolcock St again. I see this advertising as a beacon of what is wrong rather than any achievement.

    Talking with my neighbours they say this weekend free dump you should look at not how many people go to dump rather how many people don’t. In the past it was always on a long weekend. This is a ploy by the mayor to maximize revenue on those long weekends. Waste of time going to the dump if you know council is going to pick it up for you at your front door even if you missed your collection. When a cyclone is coming and hard rubbish is still sitting on side it will be council responsible for getting rid of it. All the ratepayers need to say is someone else left it there you come and get it before it damages my property. And this system works better than dump vouchers she said.

    A good candidate will and should know everything you write on every week here on the blog. I would love to be at the usual debate held by the bulletin every election to see what questions are fielded by the editor. A smart candidate would ask why we haven’t heard of any of the above rather then let the narrative stay. It will he an interesting next 4mths. Before you ask why I wouldn’t run or be a adviser to any candidate is because I would simply be stealing your thunder magpie and your good work. Wish we had a local news service that was for us.

  8. Mick says:

    And the town planners for the Stadium were??? TCC ???

  9. Grumpy says:

    Dear Typo,

    Defamation laws only suck when you lose.

    • The Magpie says:

      Sorry, mate, bit slow this morning. this is referencing what?

      • Grumpy says:

        His article/rant in the Sunday Mail today.

        Hypocritical wanker

        • The Magpie says:

          Read it in wonderment. Just posted this on Twitter.
          , you’re called Typo, but can you spell hypocrisy? Your fluff piece on defamation in SM today doesn’t mention that your vindictiveness cost News Corpse around $1million in a defamation suit you caused out of personal spite. Want to tell your audience about it?

          Typo, your idea of courageous journalism – in which you were singularly lacking during your toady tenure at the Bulletin – is apparently backstabbing a father who forced you to apologise publicly to his daughter for cowardly workplace bullying. What a sanctimonious hypocrite.

  10. Get Rooted says:

    Gutless prick

  11. The Magpie says:

    To commenter ‘Get Rooted’.
    Your suggestion that The Magpie is a ‘gutless prick’ seems to overlook the fact that only a ‘gutless prick’ would hide behind a fictitious name when slagging off at The Magpie for not publishing your angry comment. And you also appear not to know about the Streisand Effect, that of amplifying something by decrying it publicly. If your original comment had been published – the one for which you have decided to yell ‘gutless prick’ from the shadows – would’ve opened up the field of base conjecture to all this blog’s readers. And they can be a nasty bunch when they put their minds to it. Which The ‘Pie judged unfair.

    Anyway, you’ve read the item the wrong way, but have made a concessional adjustment to dry your tears.

    • City dweller says:

      So has one of the elites of Townsville wrote to you this morning? Obviously you are gutless magpie! I mean your name and face have never appeared in the paper now have they, so nobody knows who you are?? (Attempted humour here) Wondering if “get rooted” was on the gravy train with the mayor in cairns last week and didn’t like you talking truth about her again. On a serious note, it’s a shame we couldn’t read what he said. After backing Australia and the all blacks on a multi leg last night and blowing $50 I need someone to bag fuck out of. Should have bet on the horse’s instead.

    • Mike Shearer says:

      Now steady on children! As I read it the “gutless prick” is the “hypocritical wanker”, not our beloved Bird who I understand from many friends and acquaintances has none of those four attributes.

      I suggest the occasional uncertainties as to which contribution a reply will be attached with appropriate indentation is the root of the misunderstanding.

  12. Frequent flyer says:

    A couple of other stadium problems which will blow up next year when it opens:
    -the roof (what little there is of it) and side panels are made of white vinyl sheeting, which is already flapping on a windy day. Imagine what it will look like after a cyclone! And to add to the parking/traffic woes, the turn off on the corner of Railway Ave and Boundary St is already a nightmare in peak hour with cars backed up over the Tom Aitkens overpass right back to the CBD. Imagine what it will be like after a game ends! And if a train happens to come along, good luck with getting home before midnight.

  13. Woodduck says:

    Could the stadium spell the death of the Cowboys in Townsville? Bugger all parking, those that drive in could very well cop a ticket for where they park, mayhem with traffic getting to and leaving the game is going to kill the enthusiasm of the fans real quick. If Cairns,Mackay or Rockhampton have any sense, they would be getting ready to swoop in and take the team as soon as it turns to shit.

    • The Magpie says:

      On that subject:
      After all the fumbling, point scoring and bureaucratic ‘Utopia’ like box ticking report layered utter bullshit which accompanies the four years to build an inner city bus stop, we have two of our civic ‘leaders’ (ha!) showing the confused level of nickel plated backslapping motivated by political self-interest.

      In the report, one of the negative features quoted was public transport. This elicited two interesting responses in a recent Seven News clip.
      First Aaron Harpic (he’s clean round the bend) Harper simpered ‘We all know North Queenslanders like to drive everywhere … it’s just one of the things we’ve always done.’ .

      Then we have Townsville’s deputy goof Messagebank Walker talking up the public transport master stroke of stubborn stupidity that is the new city bus stop. ’(There’s) a lot of work in the CBD with our new bus hub – ‘(and we’re) working closely with the state on bus routes.’

      So we like to ‘drive everywhere’ like we always have done (Labor MP) but we’ve got the begging bowl out big time to the (Labor) state government to build a big bus stop (Labor deputy mayor) in a place that no shopper in their right mind would EVER travel to in a bus that en route to the dead heart passes up to four air conditioned shopping centres with ample car parking.

      You know, the ABC show Utopia isn’t really funny if you live in Townsville … it’s our own reality show.

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        Maybe the pair of brainless dickheads think we can drive to the bus stop.

      • Water Water Everyhwere says:

        The only silver lining, it’s more of a zinc plated lining really, is the fact that any future council can now go cap in hand to whoever the state govt will be in 2-3 years and beg for money for a public transport system because the stadium is so horribly under-utilised and poorly attended. We might even get us some trams up and down the arterial roads, or heaven forbid a light commuter train on the criminally under-utilised rail line north and south…. Park and Ride works well in a lot of places, but it’s got to be convenient….car park at NorthShore (burdell), one at garbutt and one further south, Idalia (could kill two lyrebirds with one stone by ditching the lowest laying houses and have a pretty car park). Could even be used for peak times, lots of schools along those rail lines…

        Utopia is even more of a documentary of Townsville and the TCC is one has spent a little time within that organisation…I used to laugh..

        • Insider says:

          People in Townsville don’t use public transport; they drive their cars everywhere. Providing public transport on game days doesn’t mean anyone will use it. There is no use proposing any form of rail, as it is way too expensive and we don’t have the patronage numbers to make it pay. The only place where public transport works outside of Brisbane is on the Gold Coast, due to tourist numbers, and the light rail there cost the Council and State Govt a couple of $billion and was justified by the presence of the Commonwealth Games. So the only option for Townsville is adequate car parks.

          • The Magpie says:

            Nope disagree, because you seem to be making the assumption that usage of rail means ‘light rail’ which is another name for modern trams. The ‘Pie does not and never has advocated such a system, but has pointed out the many benefits (less congestion, less pollution, less need for road maintenance, less road trauma, lower blood pressure all round) of reintroducing the excellent rail motor services north, south and west. Modern rolling stock rather than the old fun silver bullets would be a lot less expensive than ‘light rail’ space age stuff and the costs (cf Gold Coast) of laying tracks in traffic areas. The provision of ‘lounge cars facilities’ would make commuting an attractive prospect, and would cost (or should) cost no more than vehicle travel. Any government could factor the savings of the aforementioned benefits and subsidise the fares. It is all sitting there waiting not to happen, but to happen AGAIN … as far as The ‘Pie understands, it was working fine when it was stopped by distant bureaucrats … Snooze had a hand in its demise, too, apparently. He’s good at killing off good situations, as in how he destroyed Picnic Bay so unnecessarily.

            So many pollies have said it won’t work because we are a city of drivers, but maybe that’s because we’ve never had an an attractive modern alternative . … yet these people with such a lack of vision foist an inappropriate, flimsy, money sink hole of an under-utilised stadium on to us which will cost money, rather than rail motors, which would eventually lose in 10-15 years of operation what this stadium will lose every couple of years. A a rail motor system goes to only one central point in Townsville, so guess who would benefit from that.

            Geez, Insider, don’t get me started!!!

  14. F. Yates says:

    Silly me for thinking that new businesses have to incorporate adequate parking spaces into their development projects including ingress and egress . I’ll take the long way around before and after events.

  15. Frequent flyer says:

    Anyone who has queued in the huge, well organised bus area out at 1300 Smiles Stadium will die laughing when they see the new so-called bus hub. It’s a joke.
    Wonder if our civic leaders have thought about where the buses that bring in fans from Ingham and the Burdekin will park. Maybe on top of Castle Hill from where the drivers can monitor the game with the aid of binoculars so they know when to try to get back the the stadium to pick up the fans.
    Maybe I shouldn’t make jokes like that – the Mullet will see it as a solution to the parking debacle.

    • Alahazbin says:

      FF, Maybe our ‘progressive thinking council’ (ha ha) will let those out of town buses park behind the V8 pits where the transporters park.
      I’ll even let message bank or one of his lackies take the kudos for this.

  16. The (Mostly) Civil Engineer says:

    In the great list of achievements announced by our glorious leader, let’s not forget the series of random brain farts from our Fuckedup Cities Team:
    – the team itself
    – the Strand lagoon
    – the Hive
    – Castle Hill summit precinct (with or without zip line or cable car depending on the day)
    – NQ Innovation Hub
    – Mt Louisa “activation” on the back of the activation of Aitkenvale – if that’s what activation looks like we probably don’t need it

    Not one of these things has done anything at all, let alone anything to actually advance the city.

    • The (Mostly) Civil Engineer says:

      I could go on, but thinking of these triumphs has loosened my bowels.

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        The shithouse is a most appropriate place to contemplate the achievements of Townsville’s Dear Leader. Let it all flow.

    • Claire-voyant says:

      We must give Jenny credit where it is due. She has been the spearhead of a massive employment drive for those poor, sad Labor lackeys displaced from their former cushy jobs in other places.

      Where would we have been without Adele, Stephen and all the dear departed?

      Actually, I think I would rather know where we’ll be when the rest of the useless rabble are dispatched – some not even bothering to FIFO any more, just staying in their northern or southern homes and collecting their TCC pays.

      • Plannit Townsville says:

        I really do wish Adele Young would change her LinkedIn profile. Sweetie, you have not been the CEO of Townsville City Council for some time. There’s even a permanently appointed CEO, who is very much not Adele Young, at TCC. So please stop kidding yourself and change it to say “Currently looking for opportunities” or some such.

  17. upagumtreeperson says:

    Magpie and readers may I have an indulgence! Next Saturday at the Palmetum Botanic Gardens at Douglas sees the first I hope of many such events as the Mentally Healthy City Project.
    This project aims to help the people of Townsville flourish and thrive as a community by heightening the focus on mental wellness and by educating and empowering the local community to understand and maintain positive mental health. I feel that there is a rising interest in mental health which is a positive and encouraging sign.
    Speakers will address aspects of mental health as well as outdoor activities, wellness workshops, health professionas and food and drink. Please get your head around mental health and attend next Saturday, October 26 between 9am and 2pm. Tropical Brain and Mind foundation is supported by phn Northern Queensland, Queensland Government, Townsville Hospital and Health Services, Townsville City Council, Bendigo Bank and Beyond Blue. Thanks for your support Magpie. I like magpies and you are the best!

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Is Jenny Hill or one of the Townsville City councillors attending, if they are then I will instantly improve my mental health and stay well away.

      • No More Dredging says:

        Of course it’s all about you. And you already know you won’t be going because you already know everything and have nothing to contribute. FFS Cranky, do you fall out of bed on your head every single day?

        • Cantankerous but happy says:

          Well they could have a Jenny Hill stand where people could come and vent their anger and frustration about ol Mayor Mullet and the constant need for restraint to not throw a remote at your TV anytime she appears on it. Perhaps they could have a “forget the Mullet” meditation session to aid the thousands of people in Townsville who have Mullet syndrome and need Mullet therapy and are trying to forget the years of misery she has given the people of Townsville, I can see how that would be something of value.

      • upagumtreeperson says:

        Please people can we have sensible and sensitive responses to what is a serious mental issue. Mental health is being made fun of by some Magpie readers. Why is it not possible in this column to get sensible replies to an event which will be informal and informative. Give me strength! The Townsville City Council has gone to pains to make sure this event is successful. The Mentally Healthy City project is the first for Australia. It is important that bogons take these events seriously and take note. Mental illness is rising and while much is being done much more is needed in the mental health field. Good luck to the silly ones who mock my message. Now where did I leave my Valium?

        • The Magpie says:

          If you lead with your chin, posting here, what do you expect. And besides, it’s more than a tad over-sensitive to whinge about the event – not the condition, the event – being used for political humour. Like Jenny Hill driving everyone bonkers. When you try to exclude humour from any subject (please take note gays, feminists, Linda Ashton), you are pissing into the gale of public sentiment that is tired of being told what to say and think. The Magpie is sure he isn’t the only one who often expresses a sentiment or a quip in which he doesn’t truly believe, but does so simply because prissy, dictatorial circle-jerkers tell him that he should’t.

          • upagumtreeperson says:

            I do not understand your comments Magpie about the Mentally Healthy City project.

          • The Magpie says:

            Obviously. Are you sure you should be reading this blog, it must be mentally taxing for you? And FFS Mentally Healthy City project is just ratepayer-funded virtue signalling by a council responsible for more depression and anxiety in the past four years than any other single entity. You could start with a survey of the 600+ sacked TCC staffers turfed out because of a financial incompetent who has the levers of power … for the moment.

        • Cantankerous but happy says:

          Sensitive and sensible responses? Really, if I was to post on here the rant that I listened to at 4.30 am from my taxi driver on the way to the airport last week I am sure the Pie would not even post it, I am talking about a full blown verbal denigration of Jenny Hill as a person and what he thinks she has done to this town as Mayor. Now I am no fan of Jenny Hill and have zero respect for her at all, but this guy was gong right off, which at 4.30 in the morning was really the last thing I wanted to hear. Many people have had a tough time in this town in the last few years, some lay part of that blame squarely at the feet of Jenny Hill and her deep failures as Mayor, so whilst my comments were somewhat in jest it would be very poor form of you to dismiss the very negative sentiment felt by many in this town towards Jenny Hill and how that effects people, like the 600 she sent to the unemployment queue, so enjoy your mentally healthy city day.

  18. Dave of Kelso says:

    In addition to valid observations above, the stadium is an angular, jarring, vulgar, eyesore, dominating the area. It clashes with the natural and built environment.

    If it had to be built at all it should have been a thing of great beauty, pleasing to the eye, in harmony with the surrounds.

    Instead, what have we got? A bloody monstrosity approved be someone who, it seems, was toilet trained at gunpoint. It is a disaster!

  19. hondaman says:

    At least Brad’s new conglomerate is on a hilly thing, with a stunning view of the Sewerage treatment plant and Town common. Don’t know what to make of Lawrence’s new location, except that land in Maleny that IS elevated is already smothered, so maybe that was all there was left?

  20. Why is it so? says:

    160 days to the council election! $300 Million for a stadium we did not need. $800000 for the unwanted Jamie Durie. Who is stepping up against the clown Hill team. Townsville can’t survive another 3 years of the worst most destructive poor decision making circus ever.. wake me up when the nightmare is over!

    • Water Water Everywhere says:

      Sorry to disappoint, it will be 4 years.

    • No More Dredging says:

      Why Is It So, if you read the Wikipedia entry on the Townsville stadium there’s quite a bit of history that is a worthwhile reminder before you go on to the Cox Architects site for an explanation of the design which does, apparently, attempt to connect to the pandanus tree. Hmmm. Interesting that wind speed was a significant influence on design. “Townsville wind loads are approximately 50% higher than Brisbane and 100% higher than Sydney meaning the weight of steel required must be proportionate to these loads. The architectural and engineering teams worked hard to design a roof structure that responds to wind but also provides an overarching elegant expression for the structure.”

      Back at the history section though it’s enlightening to know that every political party, especially at the state level, fell over themselves to bring us the stadium:

      “The concept of a new Townsville stadium was again put on the agenda in the lead up to the 2015 Queensland state election. In December 2014, Queensland Opposition Leader Annastacia Palaszczuk promised the Queensland Labor Party would provide $100 million in funding for a new stadium in Townsville’s central business district, should they win the election.[4] In January 2015 then-premier Campbell Newman announced $150 million in funding for the same project that would be funded through the sale of state assets.”

      No matter how you/we voted, we were going to get a stadium funded by state and federal governments.

      • The Magpie says:

        Let us sincerely hope the consideration of winds speeds is not just a lot of hot air.

      • Greta Thunberg says:

        How dare you………….How Dare You………….use the word ‘elegant when referring to that stadium. How dare you!

        • Dave of Kelso says:

          I’m with Greta.

          • The Magpie says:

            Hahahaha belly laugh of the day … oh, Dave, what a tangled web we weave, when we set out to deceive. The ‘Pie is outing you as commenter Greta Thunberg … BECAUSE, DRONGO, YOU REPLIED TO IT BEFORE IT WAS PUBLISHED. ARE YOU CLAIRVOYANT OR WHAT? How did you know about an unpublished comment.

          • Dave of Kelso says:

            That was the point of the exercise, but thanks for explaining it for the slow and bewildered. This is fun!

          • The Magpie says:

            No it wasn’t, caught with your pants down, mate … said with love and caring, of course.

          • Pauline Pants Down says:

            Kelso, welcome to the club!

        • No More Dredging says:

          Greta and Dave (boy, what a set of identity issues you’ve got), the expression “elegant” was contained within quotation marks you idiot. It came from Cox Architects.

  21. Former Council employee says:

    Pie your list of serious failure by the mayor and her council is damming. I would like to add one more. The complete failure to be open and transparent with the rate payers was exposed in a damming report early in this term. The report pointed to a lack of staff who understood the right to information laws. It also pointed to a lack experienced staff capable of training other staff because of the mass sackings.

    Claims have been made that these issues have been dealt with but I for one do not trust this mayor or council to do the right thing. Your coverage of the issues with the Adani airstrip suggests they will cover up when it’s needed.

    Add to this the mayor and councillors hiding from the public on all contentious issues. Hiding from the press and sending out staff to face the media.

  22. Alahazbin says:

    With New Limited “Right to Know” campaign. I wonder if the Astonisher would use the same ethos and keep the ratepayer informed on the TCC/Adani $18.5M ‘terms’ airstrip agreement.

  23. Flying High says:

    As has been succinctly noted, the dark clouds surrounding the Adani airport shenanigans as well as the Mullet’s futile and ignorant backing of Kevin Gill to pressure Rainbow Airways into paying for the Townsville airport upgrades is embarrassing and foolish. You are dealing with a large airline, a huge business when compared to the Mullets little backwater redneck Council operation. It was a mistake that will haunt her as Qantas has a long memory and anyone trying to strongarm them or muscle them will ultimately pay the price. My insider tells me that airport fees and negotiations with the carrier have been brutal in the past 6 months and Townsville airport has not come out as the winner.

    • Flying High says:

      Besides, QAL are too busy preparing their submissions to receive lame airport awards at next months Australian Airports Association conference (piss-up) on the Gold Coast to be worried about Townsville people. Fish Gill has a new tuxedo to purchase and Maid Marion has bought new shoes in preparation of the event. All those airport profits have to be used on something, right? Maybe the Mullet will attend as well, accompanied by a few other trough swilling Councillors?

  24. I’ll be plucked says:

    Re Mayoral candidate – Hey Fishframe (post on 7 Oct 2019, 3.59pm), is the business type you referred to any closer to ‘coming out’? Better still, can you please tell us who you are referring to?

  25. The Magpie says:

    YAY!!! FINALLY!!
    The Bulletin has caught up with the on-going court story of the secret deal between Adani and the Townsville Council … and Mayor Jenny Hill has given the Bulletin an exclusive and damning interview about her dealings with the Indian billionaire on condition that she had final approval on what was printed in the final story. And praise be! the paper didn’t hold back, they gave us chapter and verse on the Mayor’s incriminatory revelations …. NOT ONLY THAT, THEY PUT IT ON THE FRONT PAGE.

    Self-censorship is just as bad as government censorship … you being very selective in what stories you report makes you no better than any government (of which our council is one).

  26. Greta says:

    I’m with Dave.

  27. Fishframe says:

    I always thought it was fish eggs, but my local deli was offering marinated Black Caviar this morning. Sounds delicious.

    • The Magpie says:

      Many excellent reforms in these documents, but some alarm bells for ones yet to be passed. The ‘Pie intends to investigate the possible problem areas, but welcomes any sensible input from Nesters who care to read the material. Rants and diatribes might be published – or not – but will be ignored as part of much needed and reasonable debate.

  28. Critical says:

    The secretive community grants program was being talked about at a bbq on Saturday night so I did a bit of research on the topic. The 2019/20 budget shows that the Grants and Sponsorships Program has a 2019/20 budget of $4.1 million. I realise there’s four links here but have a look at the legislation regarding Mayors and Councillor Discretionary Funds and then at the information on the TCC website. It shows that no grants from either the Mayors Discretionary Fund or Councillors Discretionary Funds have been made in the 2019/20 financial year. I very much doubt this is the case unless it is going to be a last minute rush of grants just before the election.
    What is on the website doesn’t comply with legislation either e.g. how much each Councillor has to expend and so on.

    If you look at the other types of grants pages, it appears that no grants have been made this year.

    Something just isn’t adding up here regarding transparency, accountability and complying with relevant legislation. Certainly the community must be entitled to know this money is going and for what purpose.





    • The Magpie says:

      Oh, my, what fun and games loom with these reforms, which are long overdue. For one, the thought of Mayor Mullet, should she want to do a spot of pork barrelling with Discretionary Fund money for some sort of capital works (say, a bridge in a local park or the Jenny Hill Lifetime Achievements Library – very inexpensive, a converted Port-a-Loo should do the trick), get this – she not only has to get the approval for the spend from the CEO, but also from … the deputy mayor. Oh, clap hands, would love to be in that meeting.

      From the relevant legislation:

      Where a councillor intends to allocate some of their discretionary funds for capital works, the councillor must seek the approval of:

      the deputy mayor and the chief executive officer (if the councillor is the mayor)
      the mayor and the chief executive officer (councillors other than the mayor).
      When considering whether to approve a proposal to allocate discretionary funds for capital works, the mayor, deputy mayor and chief executive officer must consider how the proposal fits in with the local government’s corporate plan, long term asset management plan and annual budget.

    • Mike Douglas says:

      Critical , I thought $85,000 was granted to stable on the Strand in the last weeks ?.

      • The Magpie says:

        Not sure but checking out that this law doesn’t become operative until January 1. Happy to be corrected.

      • Critical says:

        Mike, I’m told that $85,000 was given to Stable on the Strand and if I recall correctly $80,000 was given to the organization responsible for Glendi Greekfest. My point is that these grants, sponsorships and other payments are not publically listed on the TCC Community Grants and Partnerships webpage like they were 2 years couple ago so ratepayers no longer know where their rates to the value of $4.1 are going.
        Read the media release on the RADF grants today and clicked onto the link and found a list of grants for 2017/18 so where did the joint Qld government and TCC RADF grants funding of $100,000 for 2018/19 go.

        • The (Mostly) Civil Engineer says:

          I feel dirty defending Council on this, but I suspect it is more incompetence and lack of actually giving a shit rather than trying to hide the data.

          Giving money to community organisations should be a positive thing to be promoted, and most if not all of these grants end up in the newspaper.

          • The Magpie says:

            Yup, haven’t joined in this debate much for that very reason …if their not spending funds on themselves (gawd, let’s hope Lille Patty ‘No Shoe Rack Is Big Enough’ O’Callaghan ever gets on council) then The ‘Pie fails to see a problem … unless of course, they all chip in to gift a shifty Indian billionaire an airstrip 400kms away.

  29. The Magpie says:

    This is the level of intelligence we are dealing with.

  30. The Magpie says:

    Christ this Palaszczuk government!! Joh would be proud.
    It’s a blatant protection racket – protecting their own that is. This is straight out of the Trump playbook because NOW THEY WANT THE CCC INVESTIGATED FOR BEING 100% RIGHT!!!

    Consider this.

    And that is as it should be, indeed, on the face of the facts, it’s the bleedin’ obvious that took a foot dragging committee a year … a bloody year … to reluctantly reach it’s glaring conclusion. Clearly, Anna Palaszczuk’s actions – her stand-over threat and subsequent action to withdraw legally entitled Katter Party funding for not being bullied into condemning Fraser Anning’s’ hate speech – was a clear and blatant attack on the democratic rule of law. Party politics at it’s scummy lowest, actually more damaging than the despicable Fraser Anning’s rabble-rousing tripe.

    Now, OK, Palaszczuk receives a slap on the wrist (an apology to Parliament) the severity and appropriateness of which can be debated elsewhere.

    So far, so goodish for democratic principles.

    BUT WAIT, what’s this we read in the story …
    “The Ethics Committee was also critical of the Crime and Corruption Commission, labelling its handling of the initial complaint “problematic”.
    “It was not fair to the Premier to essentially declare there was prima facie evidence of the commission of a crime but that a prosecutorial discretion would be exercised not to proceed,” the committee’s report stated.
    “The CCC also created an expectation that a contempt had been committed, when that was a matter for this committee to examine and ultimately a matter for the Legislative Assembly to determine.”

    No matter that the CCC was correct is their assessment, but we now have the Parliament’s Ethics Committee (ha!) in essence admitting that they can be influenced by outside sentiment, something they are – like judges – in theory immune to.

    And so what do they do? The story tells us:

    It has asked Parliament’s Crime and Corruption Committee — which oversees the operations of the CCC — to look into the watchdog’s actions.

    Yup, that’s right … they flick pass the matter of the CCC’s involvement in criticising Palaszczuk to … wait for it … another parliamentary committee.

    And The ‘Pie’s bet is that it will be well past the next election before this committee makes any finding if it seems it would be damaging to the Premier forlorn hopes of re-election…. but if otherwise favourable to her, expect a finding nicely timed during the state election campaign next year.

  31. Old Tradesman says:

    So the city shop owners have been given until March next year to clean up their act, or risked being fined up to $26000.

  32. NQGal says:

    I see the three blind mice have done a TV interview on the current crime spree. They have “spoken to the premier and the minister”. Whoop de do – I’m guessing that a big fat nothing will change to enable judges to actually lock these crims up.

    • The Magpie says:

      The ‘Pie had the distinct and dangerous displeasure of listening to Aaron Harper’s ABC drive interview this arvo on that very subject … put as simply as possible, this man is a liability of very limited intelligence. Among other things, he said a Katter Party call for a bi-partisan summit on youth crime in Townsville was a stunt by a minor party ‘playing politics’. He also said it would just be another gabfest and he was tired of talking, he wanted to see these kids locked up. This neatly ignored the fact that despite promises we don’t have the police resources to catch these little turds, and even if we did and they were all hauled before the courts with magistrates and judges willing to give them time (another question in itself), there is nowhere to put them because this negligent government has caused a youth crime wave and cannot fund the answers that idiots like Harpic mouth at the direction of their Brisbane masters.

      But why you may ask, does The ‘Pie describe this interview as dangerous? Because he was driving at the time, and suffered a totally different type of road rage. He could well have done himself and others a mischief.

  33. The Magpie says:

    Just received this from a straight-shooting friend who doesn’t tell fibs.
    Have just read this article in today’s Townsville Bulletin. How on earth can Paul Green be in New York tonight when we saw him having coffee at Juliette’s Cafe with a few cowboys players this morning at 10.30.
    Misleading and very disappointing.

  34. Dutch Reverend says:

    It’s interesting that Channel 7 didn’t have any local news tonight, Townsville electronic Astonisher. Not even the wrong region or at 6.30 on 72. Possible that it was pulled ? Got to love a conspiracy. No doubt 7 will tell the audience that there was a technical glitch or something if that nature. Harpic must be getting a hiding by his constituents, because he is banging on about supporting the judiciary in ensuring that the local toe rag terrorists feel the full force of the law. Fat chance when they have given them a green light to do whatever they like without any retribution. Aaron, you are a MLA, member of the legislative assembly. You are a legislator. LEGISLATE !

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      Re the little snots, the ineffectiveness of the Puddleduck, and the Cleveland Youth Respite Centre, I say this sincerely, bring back the punishment stocks.


      A set at each major shopping centre. 10 days minimum. Further (and this is the important bit) the family of the little snot in the stocks are responsible for their daily necessities of life. I’ll explain, the snot’s family have to feed and water them, and wipe their arse. This may informed the snot’s parents of their long abandoned perantal responsibility. Further there is very little expense to the long suffering tax payer.
      Do not think I am being flippant. I am deadly serious. The stocks will work, where the Puddleduck’s limp wristed, socially inclusive, politically correct, save the children, to hell with the victims, is not only not working, the lack of any deterrent is actually empowering the little snots to bigger and better crimes. And to hell with the do-gooder lefty greenie bleeding hearts. In this matter of out of control youth crime, you lot are a big part of the problem.

      And, dear reader, your house, car and family may be next……………

      Are your doors , locked?
      Are you car keys hidden
      Are you happy with these things are going?

      • The Magpie says:

        Whoa, you having a stroke, mate? Of one variety or another.

        Good vent, trust it makes you feel better, but c’mon, seriously now. Will never happen and wouldn’t work anyway.

        • The Third Reader says:

          Sad but not surprising that the worst in others can bring out the worst in us. I do agree whole heartedly with both of you. Stocks Yes, will it happen no

          • The Magpie says:

            The repercussions and end results , short, long and medium term – codifying social rejection and public humiliation to create a permanent underclass of increasingly dangerous sociopaths – would be devastating to the community. Certainly something has to be done, something has to change, but this isn’t it.

            Any thinking person must agree that the only true solution is to make the fear of retribution far outweigh the temptation of crime. Perhaps a return to closely supervised corporal punishment – a range of ‘paddling’ on the buttocks for instance, with a proscribed increase strokes for repeat offenders, backed up by a constructive remedial program of social education – would certainly work, as it always did in the old high school system. These kids know that they don’t face the discomfort of physical pain and sneer at the soft attempts at punishment. No one advocates the extremes of the lash and such, but such a possible (non-public) punishment with no lasting physical effects would work wonders of mental effect. And for those suddenly howling about ‘brutalisation’, we haven’t heard your voices raised in indignation about the ‘brutalisation’ of ordinary rate paying, hard working citizens that are the victims of these parentally neglected misfits, allowed to run wild because of a negligent government.

          • No More Dredging says:

            ‘Pie, you are dreaming. I spent six years in a state-run boarding school with corporal punishment (cane on the palm of the hand/s) the order of the day. Giving cheek, disobedience, swearing, smoking, absconding etc etc all resulted in caning with varying degrees of competence, violence and “retribution”. In junior years it was commonplace for record holders to receive upwards of a hundred ‘cuts’ a year (and proud of it!), tapering right off in senior years as we grew up in mind and body.

            I can’t imagine who you think might dole out this behind-closed-doors “paddling on the buttocks” of wayward yoof you are proposing but just conceptualising it takes me straight to Don Dale in the NT. I can already see the applications for PTSD pensions coming from the administrators, let alone the recipients.

          • The Magpie says:

            Staunch up your bleeding heart, Dredger, you might be so distracted you will make spelling mistakes on your protest signs. You defeat your own argument, just look at your own words and admit that you were no doubt a horrible little shit that deserved what you got until quote ‘as (I) grew up in mind and body’. That clearly means the corporal punishment urged you to grow up. So much so, that you’ve crossed the tracks and now are a sterling advocate for a greener, cleaner, fluffier, and nicer world, with the great credit of gracing this blog with your wisdom.

            See, a smack on the bum (or hand) does work.

          • The Magpie says:

            And at least you were in school.

          • Lord Howard Hertz says:

            Actually, Dredger, can see you’re point … judging by the drivel you post here, you’ve been scarred for life. Shame on you, ‘Pie.

          • No More Dredging says:

            ‘Pie, you sure ain’t no social worker. When we 12, 14, 16 year olds were getting flogged we had no thought about not doing it (swearing, smoking, drinking alcohol) again. We thought more about not getting caught. But at the heart of it, and now I s’pose, is that 12, 14 year olds have yet to grow up. That adolescent period is going to occur whatever ritual flogging we hand out to teenagers.

            You’re also avoiding the question about who is going to impose these corporal punishments and who is going to administer them. You don’t really expect that state government, let alone local government employees will do it, do you? Should it be privatised perhaps? Jailers belting teenagers – now there’s a good look. Although apparently our minister for home affairs half entertained the idea in a former life.

          • The Magpie says:

            You really haven’t got your words and your thoughts in sync, have you? Even to the poin of seemingly trying to insult The ‘Pie by suggesting he is no social worker, something he considers a compliment given the social workers he has seen and your mimsy flinching ‘social’ attitude.Consider this – when you were being ‘flogged’ – a gross but argumentatively useful exaggeration if you’re talking about cuts with a cane – at least you were thinking about ‘not getting caught’, something our junior knuckle-draggers never really consider, doing doughnuts in stolen cars in front of the police station to goad the coppers doesn’t suggest they have the wit to think about getting caught, or they simply don’t care, such is their lot in life, they figure. Then you bewilderingly say ‘12,14 year olds have yet to grow up’. Part of a child’s ‘growing up’, usually the role of responsible parents, is being taught about the cause and effect of selfishness, breaking laws and disrespecting others and their property. And part of that teaching, when all else has no effect, could be measured but not overly zealous corporal punishment. There is no question kid’s should be maimed physically, and part of the punishment is the ritualistic side of it reaching the kid’s hidden sensibilities – an inevitable act, punishment that can’t be avoided and is symbolic of an ordered society’s intolerance of anti-social behaviour.

            As to the second part of your hanky wringing, if it is law, which means the debate has been had and legislation passed, a panel of magistrates would be involved and hear from victims about their anguish, the actual severity of the crime (we’re talking only very serious stuff here, for which there should be clear benchmarks) and the age of the offender – there is no reason this corporal aspect cannot be administered for young adults, say up to 20. And yes, why not a government employee administering a legal punishment … maybe a corrective services officer. (Of course, by logical extension, your fairy floss philosophy would want those who ensure miscreants remain in prison to protect us should not be government employees – well the good news for you is that thanks to out-sourcing, you have your wish, at a big financial price).

            An option to administer the punishment, carried out in front of suitable witnesses, including the victims if they wish, could be the parents.

            And before you veer off on your usual exaggeration and virtue signalling, we are not talking ‘flogging’ here … just three whacks on the bare bum with a wooden paddle which does not break the skin, but would be memorable enough, as would the promise of an extra three every time one re-offends, up to say an non-injurious 12, would concentrate juvenile minds wonderfully.

            But don’t bother carrying on any further on this topic, it is never going to happen for many and varied reasons, and we shouldn’t waste any more time on such sensible solutions to this problem.

          • Pat Coleman says:

            Hey NMD, I was always getting 6 of the best for fighting and I turned out alright.

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        Dave, actually half of the cars that are stolen and houses broken into they are actually unlocked, and yes car keys sitting on the kitchen table, some just leave the keys sitting in the ignition in the garage , much to the amazement of authorities, and yes in a perfect world we should all be able to live in freedom of not having to lock ourselves in but that is rarely the case anywhere these days, so yes something needs to be done with these dregs who have no regard for anyone else’s property or the law but something also needs to be done about people just inviting them to do it, the brainless dickheads.

        • Scientician79 says:

          Actually it’s gotten to the point I leave my keys close to the door too. Why?

          Because while I’m sleeping I don’t need or want these juvenile thugs coming into my bedroom looking for my car keys, or tossing the house apart searching for them causing even more damage.

          Of course I take sensible precautions and my home and vehicles are always locked but I’m not going to be hiding the keys anytime soon.

          • The Magpie says:

            Hey don’t stop there, name and address please … and hope you’ll be considerate enough to ensure a full tank at all times.

          • Alahazbin says:

            S79, Your second paragraph sums up exactly a young females outlook on hiding your keys in the bedroom for fear of being raped or sexually assaulted.

      • I’ll be plucked says:

        With the greatest respect to you Kelso, you have lost the plot, completely on this one! Take ‘stock’, step back and keep thinking………

        • Dave of Kelso says:

          You might be correct, but I suspect not. I have articulated a Course of Action (CoA) to fix an escalating problem that, thus far has defied the remedies in place. The ‘Pie has also suggested a CoA. There is little to be gained by suggesting that I am off the planet, which may or may not be true. Instead, give us your CoA, not your philosophy, you beliefs or wishes, or your pet theory, give us your CoA. You never know, some good might come from this exercise.

          • Dave of Kelso says:

            All right everybody, where are your Courses of Action. When called upon you have gone very very quiet. Are you concerned that someone will suggest you are ‘off the planet’. I assure you, it does not hurt a bit.

          • Hard nosed copper says:

            Let me loose on them behind a big shed in the old railway yards.

          • The Magpie says:

            Thank you, Peter Dutton.

  35. Critical says:

    Was in Coles Rising Sun on Sunday just past and 3 of the ALP protected peoples, started to walk out of the shop with Coles bags full of groceries. Coles staff member politely asked them if the groceries had been paid for and copped a round of abuse for her question. She told them that they were being filmed on CCTV so they would be caught. Response from them, more abuse ending with comment, so what police and you can’t do anything. Incident says a lot about how protected this lot think they are and that no one can touch them. I’m at this shop a few times a week and regularly see this behaviour and feel sorry for the Coles staff who are doing their job and just have to put up with abuse day in day out from this lot and a few other bogans who accompany them.

    • Alahazbin says:

      And the response from the little snot’s that steal cars when asked why they do it is:
      “You stole our land”

      • The Magpie says:

        Soon perhaps, coppers might start hearing the Greta Lament ‘you stole my childhood, how dare you’.

      • Kingswood says:

        I wasn’t here then and neither were they. My relies didn’t want to come here as they were convicts.
        Sounds like the old bs excuse ‘if they can afford to buy it, they can afford to have insurance. Snots…

      • Hercule Poirot says:

        Gracelyn Smallwood is very Quite about the Crime Problem. Nothing to see here…

    • Bentley says:

      Whilst I don’t support thieving from anyone, even supermarkets, who appear to behave with an appalling lack of integrity when dealing with primary producers, I have to admit to temptation to bypass the checkout on occasions. When I see queues so long that they cause congestion in the aisles and unmanned checkouts, when it takes 20 mins longer to pay for my goods than it takes to load my basket,
      it often occurs to me that a ”waiting wage” would just about have cleared my debt.

  36. I’ll be plucked says:

    Newsflash from Canberra: Angus Taylor has a big stick!

  37. Le petit fromage says:

    Rumour has it that TCC had hired more spinners in the lead up to the election

  38. upagumtreeperson says:

    Message to Stadium knockers. Townsville needs a stadium of this nature not only for RL but other events. Elton John anyone? Stop knockers for knocking Townsville. If you do not like Townsville go somewhere else. Sensible replies accepted. And I do not even follow Rugby League. Give me Brisbane Lions anytime. The stadium should have been built to suit other sports like athletics and Ozzie Rules. Ozzy Rules OK?

    • Grumpy says:

      So…you’re knocking the stadium?

    • The Wulguru Wonder says:

      What’s your problem? The more knockers I see out at the stadium the better! We have some of the best knockers in Queensland here in the ‘Ville.

      Queue the Benny Hill theme music…..

    • The (Mostly) Civil Engineer says:

      Upagumtree – you might not have noticed, but we actually have an almost identical stadium in terms of capacity, shape and function already.

      What we do not have is a major conference and performing arts venue capable of taking the larger events and conferences the city is chasing. The TECC is a rusting hulk moored at the port and the Civic is woefully small.

  39. Cantankerous but happy says:

    Little Dickie Holliday on LinkedIn this morning blowing smoke up the Mullets arse about fining landlords $26k if they don’t tidy up their premises in the CBD, are we about to see more of Little Dickie in the lead up to the election.

    • Trevor C says:

      This intent of this type of local law might be pleasing in theory to see the tidying up of the CBD ( and I am sure a few people will jump on that bandwagon). But as a mere policy now, its about as valuable as a new master plan on the front page of the TB.

      It is meaningless also since there is a whole mess of steps to occur well before it is ever adopted, including public consultation. That should be fun! Someone put the clock on that 6mth in the TB…. Quick squizz at this website shows there are guidelines and restrictions on doing these types of offences, starting with how the hell you decide at what level of ugly mess they think will trigger the penalty and how unfair/practical that is. See http://www.dlgrma.qld.gov.au/local-government/laws/local-law-making-process.html

      Probably cheaper they simply do the buildings up themselves than bring in the lawyers to charge a bomb to satisfy all that rigmarole…. Although there are probably some coppers out there would would retire to the TCC regulatory services branch to to action it long term right now and again some lawyers for the TCC to hire to prosecute all the failures to pay. Sure some jobs there, but really? Maybe that use of ratepayers money long term has a better bang for buck somewhere, even if they ever do transition from political election stunt pretend big stick of “look here, we are doing something while doing nothing”!! to making it a law.

      • The Magpie says:

        Your last line says it all … without absolutely zero examination by the gormless mob at the Astonisher, Mayor Mullet was allowed to pose unchallenged as a get-tough Barbie action figures in a blatant and totally meaningless campaign ploy – the paper catches up today with a querulous questioning by the new C of C bloke to state the bleedin’ obvious, which amounts to downside outweighs the upside, as you have pointed out. Even if Parliament were to pass such a law, it would have to be a whole-of-Queensland matter, and you can imagine the shit fight involved there from vested interests. Of course, as March approaches, we are certain to get the Mullet line about ‘I tried but the government is dragging its feet’.

    • I’ll be plucked says:

      Any relation to Doc, the gunfighter Tankers?

    • The Magpie says:

      Who is Dickie Holliday?

    • Mike Douglas says:

      Richard Hollidays consulting firm is Brisbane based after 12 mths ? working in T.C.C . for the Mullet . He has expert opinions on lots of areas but not a lot of results which fits in with Labor Governments . Exactly how many ratepayers funded staff are working on the Mullets re-election including consultants . Does Dicky really think landlords will cop fines from T.C.C . without a legal fight . Just pull out all the T.C.C / ratepayers funded reports on all the statements T.C.C. said were planned for the cbd then drive a truck thru them.

  40. Cantankerous but happy says:

    Why would you waste a marquee event by dissolving it’s impact with another marquee event. Why would you take the first round of footy at the new stadium, an promotable event within itself and then hold your biggest game of the year on the same night, WTF are the people of this town thinking, where did they get their business degrees, in a Corn Flakes box, that just staggers me, no wonder we are in the shit we are in.

    • The Magpie says:

      Well hang on, while your point is certainly valid, the decision almost certainly had nothing to do with ‘people in this town’. This was a thoughtless NRL decision that didn’t take your sensible point into account. As The ‘Pie has constantly said, don’t knock Mayor Mullet ot any of the other usual drongos for something they have had no say in, it dilutes the glaring errors of judgement that they HAVE made.

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        Yes well above the Mullets paygrade but I am fairly confident the Cowboys requested it, wasted opportunity all the same.

        • The Magpie says:

          May be wrong, but hadn’t that opener match become a mini-tradition until last year? Not bthat your estimation iis wrong, but seems like another strange NRL back flip.

  41. No More Dredging says:

    ‘Pie, article in today’s The Conversation that might tingle a few spines in the development / local politics field:


  42. The Magpie says:

    And the problem is ….?

    • Cockie says:

      A bit like the suburban legend where a South African MP stated ” half the parliamentarians in the house were fools,” he was told to rescind his statement, so the said “Half the parliamentarians in the house were not fools”.

  43. Imperial standard says:

    My prediction, Jenny Hill win will even if a challenger – bar JT or JC – puts their hand up to run against her. Economy and property values are starting to head rapidly in the right direction.

    • The Magpie says:

      Ya reckon? Then the way you’re reading the latest charts means you’re standing on your head … or have been dropped on it … or most likely, are a paid flack of this disgraceful, shameless mayor. That you, Dicky?

      • 155 Days says:

        Too right. That’s a distinct downward trend. Some would say…. the arse has well and truly fallen out of the market. In what areas is it rapidly heading in the right direction Imperial? Migration out of the city? Temperature increases for summer? Please be so kind as to enlighten us ignorant folk.

    • Al says:

      To Imperial standard.
      “Jenny Hill win will” ?? Don’t worry about JT or JC standing. They are not mongrel enough. Also, Mullet Mayor and her alphabetical pal have kissed JT’s bum enough not to have him stand against a labor shit team.

      • The Magpie says:

        Not to flog a dead horse (no cowboy should), but if it ever came to ‘JT for mayor’, the fallacy of transferred authority would be seen at its shining best. JT certainly knew how to kick a footy, but his basic honesty would make it impossible for him to kick heads … a prerequisite to be a politician at any level, especially the mayor of this town.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Imperial standard- Delusional fuckwit

    • Clive Palmer loves you says:

      Love him or hate him it’s been very quiet on the Palmer front since he got his payout from our stupid arse mayor some time back. Amoung all the federal election shitI remembered vividly that Clive will form a team in Townsville local elections next year. He hates her with a passion and one thinks he’s not just sitting idel not thinking about this move. The end if court proceedings is here so I wouldn’t be surprised if he announced someone to run against her with his funding. “Fuck the bitch I’ll sue her” was the last time he mentioned mayor mullet. With all the stories being printed by the bulletin to try weed out a contender not once have they asked Clive his plans. Apart from his belt buckle, he stands out so why wouldn’t there be a question from out “for us” paper? My point is all these comments being posted here and elsewhere by operatives of the mayor are just trying to make people feel she’s already won. They are all shit scared of Clive and what he would do and say. And the fact that he wouldn’t give a fuck what he says, combined with him being able to sue anyone he likes. By far it’s not an ideal situation for Townsville but I’d buy tickets to see this fight instead of Elton John. Good luck imperial your labor party across Townsville is in trouble.

      • The Magpie says:

        The ‘Pie might be reading this wrong, but wouldn’t mayor Mullet WANT a Palmer opponent? Anyone with a modicum of smarts (no comment) wouldn’t vote for a Fatty McFuckface ticket. It’s the old political axiom, when you’re looking bad, find someone worse to compare with, something Jenny Hill so desperately needs right now..

        • J. B says:

          The guy’s a dudder.
          But at least he is reported on as such by all forms of commercial and tax payer funded media.
          At the moment only half of that’s the case with our current regime.
          As bent as he is and how scary it is, could he be the help we need?

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