This week, Flagging Spirits: the Townsville Bulletin caught out by its own pompous preaching. And Jenny Hill Unveils Her Freeloaders Policy.

Also, the race to create the perfect political storm as the Astonisher plays king – err, make that Queenmaker, as we snoozed through another week of a weird and visionless campaign.

From the international desk, some funny takes on  Donald Trump – while we can still laugh …. and the country that has legislated happiness … AND Bentley’s back!

But first …

One Mayor’s Meat(works) Is Another Man’s Poison …

Mayor Mullet had one of those ‘it seemed a good idea at the time’ moments this week, when she galumphed – uninvited – into a protest meeting about jobs being lost to live cattle exports.

The protest was sparked by the closure of the local abbatoir because live shipments have created a lack of availability of animals for processing here – although farmers claim abattoir operators are ripping them off with low prices that make them big profits).

The mayor was at first warmly greeted, but when asked her opinion on the matter, she clearly had not a single clue about the issue. But that doesn’t stop someone like The Mullet, so she had one of her well-known brain fades as she delved around hastily for what she thought would be the most popular thing to say to this bloc of voters. She has developed a mantra about mythical job creation, which in fact has almost nothing to do with the council. But in she ploughed.

‘Ummm, I think we need another abattoir,’ she simpered, to a stunned moment of silence, then outrage.

One attendee told The ‘Pie the mayor was actually booed, and was given several colourful character readings about her lack of understanding of the situation, as she made a somewhat undignified retreat from the Gill Park venue.

Sure, this is a complicated situation, which needs careful debate – although Glenn Lazarus demonstrated that he remains as big a meathead when tackling ideas as when tackling opposing forwards.

However, Bentley was in no mood to take sides, just state the case.

The Campaign Cupboard Is Bare … And Here’s Proof

The most dispiriting moment – and alarming suggestion – of this council non-campaign so far came with Jenny Hill’s pointless and empty bit of window dressing frippery about a Council Defence Community Accord. Yes, Huh? indeed.

If anything proves that this is a visionless gabfest of a campaign – devoid of any connection with the concerns of the average Joe and Josephine – this would be it. Her empty, indeed meaningless rhetoric about creating some mythical accord with a seemingly separate community within a community is nothing more than an ill-considered thought fart that must’ve wafted fragrantly up to her while sitting in her spa with a chardonnay. Or tossing around ideas in the bar at the Patriots Club, the ex-military bikers club, where Jenny is said to let her hair down from time to time away from the pesky public (she has long reservist connections with the army).

The Magpie is unaware of any gulf, indeed any separate ‘defence community’, when it comes to those personnel living in Townsville. And even if there is, what business is that of council? What are the problems that Walker Street can alleviate? In fact, just what are the problms? It all smacks of good old ALP social engineering – finding a problem that doesn’t exist, then spending money on it – ratepayers money.

It’s a bit like suggesting that the council should have a Police Service Accord for our guys and gals in blue. Indeed, it would make more sense – but not much – since the built-in Aussie predjuices against authority and police officers in particular is often carried over into society generally, so our officers often stick to each other socially. Better still, what about that other large grouping in Townsville often too concerned to say directly what they do for a living … people who work for the ATO?

Imagine what would happen if she tried that on … even if it makes more sense that this cockamammy tripe.

BUT apart from the sheer inanity of it, there is a warning to ratepayers in there if they could be bothered reading that far (the things The ‘Pie does for you folk!).

Here is the very last line of the story:

‘Another key focus of the policy is to rebuild relationships with countries like Japan, Korea and the United States to help lure more international navy ships to the city for refuelling and recreation.’

And guess what that means?

It means opening the door for more councillor freebies and wastage of precious ratepayer dollars on – ta da – sister city junkets, which have been largely sidelined in recent years. The Mooney era went ape-shit with them for awhile, with His Radiance even managing to use them in 2003 as a personal political tool, sending at least one councillor – Toni Kirkpatrick – on a three week holiday to Japan as a kiss-off for her resignation to make way for – would you believe, one Jenny Hill.

Ridiculous idea.

And Just When You Thought Sensible Debate Had Returned …

This week also saw the Townsville Bulletin give up any pretence of being a serious newspaper of any ethical worth to the community when it presented a highly questionable poll … commissioned by Team Mullet … as proof that an overwhelming majority of Townsville residents want a football stadium in the CBD. Blithely ignoring irrefutable evidence that any support at all is highly qualified, the paper bluntly said in both the news columns and the editorial that this dubious venture was clearly the community’s dearest wish. It isn’t. Not by a long chalk.

A goodly chunk of the 80% of the population living west of the CBD are far from happy with the idea, but the Astonisher consistently refuses to canvass the other side of the issue, apart from a very occasional letter to the editor.

Embracing this highly partisan poll as fact is both insulting, ill-informed and unprofessional– it appears the News Corpse policy of FIFO editors has presented us with another docile albeit apparently charming Iditor who is already doing the bidding of those who’ve hi-jacked what is supposed to be Townsville’s community forum and repository of balanced information.

Here’s How It Really Works

The man pulling the strings is without a doubt Laurence Lozza Lancini.

His genuine love of the Cowboys was justly rewarded this week with life membership of the club, but it would seem that the Cowboys … and his own pecuniary interests … override all other considerations, possibly to the detriment of ratepayers and indeed future generations of sports lovers.

Lozza uses Townsville Enterprise as his sock puppet, mouthing suitable but ultimately meaningless smoke and mirrors platitudes on a whole range of things and these are duly and unquestioningly regurgitated by a compliant Bulletin. To the absurd lengths of referring to any TEL executive … particularly the sock puppet poppet CEO Patricia O’Callaghan – as community leaders.

But Lozza’s masterstroke was grooming this man, Astonisher advertising boss Lewis Ramsay into a business web that now has a stranglehold on getting the Lancini viewpoint out there without opposition. Lewis Ramsay’s trajectory says it all … from the Bulletin to an executive position with the Cowboys, back to Brisbane for a few months with News, then presto, back in Townsville as the boss of the paper. Well, boss of advertising, but in News Corpse these days, that’s the controlling entity (the ‘moneyman’ in other words) and he calls the shots. You won’t see anything detrimental in the news columns that’s likely to upset the paper’s still considerable revenue stream, and some stories are still run by Ramsay before publication.

So make no mistake, it’s the Lewis and Lozza show, and if they want a stadium, then by gum, the paper will push for a stadium to the exclusion of all other consideration. And the iditor, no matter who it is, is irrelevant in all this. he will told policy and he will follow it.

Writing this will make no difference to anything, but at least you nlow know … that’s what journos are meant to do.

But There Are Some Things For Which The Iditor Must Carry The Can

(This matter was run in comments during the week, so skip it if you have already seen it.)

The Magpie

Submitted on 2016/02/25 at 2:03 pm

IS THIS THE BEST GOTCHA OF THE YEAR? THE BEST BIT OF ‘DO AS I SAY, NOT DO AS I DO’ BIT OF ARROGANCE.

You’ll recall this story below, with a lot of pompous posturing, a hint of incipient racism  and self-righteous hyperventilating by the Bulletin, getting itself into an indignant lather about the tattered Australian flag outside the closed Cultural Centre on Flinders Street East.

Well, dear Bully folk, Pricey’s correct and heartfelt observation that we should have more pride in our national flag doesn’t seem to apply to the Bulletin itself. These pix outside the print hall and just a few metres away from the editors gaze across the road were taken this morning, Thursday Feb 25

Bet that the decrepit old American shyster who owns you couldn’t care less. And therefore, its seems, neither could you, Mr English.

Postscript:

The ‘Pie was wrong on one thing … someone, possibly iditor Ben Bogan,  did care. After the above went into the comments, onto Facebook and into the Twittersphere on Thursday, the tattered flag was replaced the very next day with a brand spanking new one.

So now The Magpie wants to know which one of you readers dobbed The Magpie in to the paper – ‘cos we all know they don’t read The Magpie in Flinders Street West, don’t we? Heh, heh, heh..

Other Matters

As the world watches like the proverbial bunny caught in the headlights, Donald Trump appears to getting closer to the nuclear codes known only to the President of the United States. There are still obstacles on Trump’s road to the White House … Hillary Clinton is a lot more than just a speed bump … but panic is starting to take hold in much of the land.

As always, cartoonists try to make us smile through the alarm. Here’s a selection of the best.

…and The Pie’s favourite ..

And If He Terrifies You, That’s Because Trump Has More In Common With ISIS Than You’d First Think

For a more sobering analysis The ‘Pie liked the ever witty and thoughtful Marina Hyde in the Guardian, who came up with one of the more incisive thumbnail sketches of how Trump has got this far.

Donald Trump thinks like a terrorist. His entire schtick is acts of verbal violence which hijack or disrupt legitimate discussions anywhere and wrench them into some brutishly mesmeric realm where normal rules just got blown up and the savage exercise of power is the message as much as whatever the actual message is supposed to be. It is absolutely no surprise to find Trump an apparently easy fit for an al-Shabaab recruiting video – each of these supposed adversaries speaks the only language the other can understand.

Quite so, a brilliant analysis.

 

“Smile … Or Else’

The Magpie mind is attracted to all matters great and small … and sometimes just plain silly. Like the news that the United Arab Emirates (UAE) has just appointed a Minister for Happiness (Slogan: cheer up … or else?). This would be her,

… rejoicing in the name Ohoud Alroomi, which may make some people happy they have their own names. While she certainly looks comely enough to be the answer to Abdul’s Friday prayers, it hasn’t been detailed just how Ms Alroomi will go about her job. And no, The ‘Pie will not be asking Mongrel the Barrister’s his thoughts in that area.

But It’s An Idea Starter For Us

Here in Queensland we insist on the boring old round of responsibilities being doled out to the faithful of whichever shysters managed to make it onto the government plush.

But surely we could add an element of destiny to our politics, and the names of the minister should help determine any new roles to be created.. After all we already have a treasurer so aptly called Pitt …

…  and the Minister looking after Fire Services is Bill Byrne.

And why, one may well ask, isn’t the Environment Minister Steven Miles actually the Minister for Main Roads?

But if we are to spread our wings a la UAR, we have an ideal candidate for a Ministry for Womens’ Happiness …

… in Cameron Dick. (Billy Gordon eat your heart out.)

And of course, Mongrel the Barrister is never far away. He’s suggested that independent council candidate for the Upper Ross here in Townsville should expand her horizons to state or federal spheres.

‘I reckon on your theory, ‘Pie, Joanna Keune would be a shoo-in to head up Indigenous Affairs.’

The ‘Pie may have to stop talking to Mongrel.