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The Magpie

Saturday, November 18th, 2023   |   134 comments

THEY KNEW!! Cheap Political Shots From Cheap Political Shits.

It wasn’t just the egregious Aaron Harper who tried falsely go grandstanding about the withdrawal of federal infrastructure funding. It is now emerging that Premier Palaszczuk and Treasurer Cameron Dick knew precisely what was to be cancelled for months before last weekend’s announcement, but pretended they didn’t in the hope of winning back disaffected voters. It didn’t work, as the Magpie explains.

The new law allowing the naming of people charged with sexual offences, is now in effect, but even when the media got the sensationalist legal change they had been screaming for, the famously incurious Bulletin still wasn’t up to the job.

Anna’s Olympic smokescreen has it’s first puffs up to blue sky.

You’ll be startled to learn of some hanky panky on the Hill … er, that is Castle, not Jenny – or at least, as far as we know.

… and the week in cartoons in our regular Gallery America.

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There’s An Unconfirmed Rumour Going Around About Our Prime Minister.

Personally, the Magpie finds it hard to  believe.


It seems that Anthony Albanese’s tin ear for public sentiment is partly to blame for his helter skelter travel itinerary. In fact, Bentley has it on good authority that one stop-off was due to Albo misunderstanding a hostie’s ‘question’.

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But while the optics aren’t good for a globetrotting PM when there is crisis on crisis at home,  many of the hootenannys were planned well ahead, and were timed by global organisations, or required an unexpected but necessary flying of the flag (as when the Queen carked it). But that’s never going to deter a sniping media that loves catchy catchphrases lie Airbus Albo.

And a. bonus for the PM is that he stayed out of the line of fire when Treasurer Jim Chalmer popped his head above the Canberra parapet to lob a fireball or two into state treasuries. Which kicked off one of the clumsiest political leg-pulls in recent times.

The Water’s Starting To Boil And Anna Is The Frog …

… and despite an increasingly inevitable outcome, the premier refuses to jump out of the cauldron. Instead, she and her brains-trust devised a Baldrick-like cunning plan to claim standing as community champions. It started with this …

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Note the word ‘learning’, it becomes a giveaway as you will see. Cameron (By Name By Nature) Dick pulled on his big boy pants and told Chalmers there had better not be cuts in Queensland, or , or   … well, in the end, an unspecified ‘or else’.  This was an oh-so-predictable internal Labor bust-up.  And Dick was clearly going into a battle of wits unarmed. This is turn prompted – no doubt on advice from the Brisbane backroom boys – for Aaron Harper’s vainglorious ‘threat’ to resign if Riverway Drive money was scotched.  It was chest beating of unbelievable proportions – and in fact no one believed it, Harpic just made himself look like a ninny.

The Queensland Government with exquisite timing,  engineered a federal lib member to fossick around hard enough to find a ‘secret’ report, and  made sure that media outlets got hold of a damning shock-horror Bruce Highway study.

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Then, last Sunday, Chalmers ‘revealed’ his hit list which just nixed a few relative piddling projects in Queensland for the time being, but all monies already allocated to the Bruce upgrades stayed in place … and so did Riverway Drive.

So, despite the required whinging about the (relatively few) cuts that eventuated, it was herograms all round, for the tough talking state treasurer, and the self-sacrificing member for Thuringowa. And all aimed at recovering some of the massive ground Labor has lost with the electorate.

It was a short-lived high-fives party, though, because Federal Transport Minister Catherine King on Tuesday made it clear, both on ABC radio and in parliament, that Cameron Dick knew the details of what was coming, they had been made fully aware of the Fed’s plans.  King claimed  ‘he’s known for months’.  So it follows that Dick gave the embattled Aaron Harper the heads up for his literally unbelievable ‘threat’ to resign, and Dick himself beat his chest instead that which he normally gives a beating.

SO THEY KNEW ALL THE TIME THEY WERE MAKING BULLY BOY NOISES.  Only the Australian Labor Party could come up with a ‘false flag’ bit of bullshit like this.

As The Magpie’s old mate Sherman used to say, phoney as phuck.

The Same Might Be Said For Olympic Window Dressing, Which Is Gathering Pace

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Smoking ceremonies will have nothing on the government smoke screen being thrown up to deflect criticism of the Olympic costs slowly being revealed. This load of beads and blankets was announced on the weekend. But hey, take heart, oh ye of little faith, the Townsville terrier is in there, yapping for us.

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The Magpie can just imagine the next media elease from Ms B-S at Wishing Well House:

I am pleased to announce that after Townsville Enterprise successfully secured the Olympic Games for Queensland, we will be working tirelessly to ensure our city will host the new Olympic sport of marbles. This is a coup, for which the Townsville economy is expected to benefit by $14million (approx.). Rabbit rabbit, blah de dah, waffle ….. 

A New Law Not Much use To The Bulletin

The new name and shame law that allows people charge with sexual offences to be publicly identified had its first test run in the Bulletin during the week, but quickly ran out of gas. And raised more questions than the new law’s freedom answered.

Screen Shot 2023-11-16 at 11.56.22 am The first question asked by a Nest commenter was who told reporter Caitlan Charles this turkey was ‘prominent’? In a place like Townsville, such an adjective would almost be redundant, given the paucity of prominent businessmen about the place. In the end the use of the term became laughable as you’ll see.

The next question was just who is this ‘prominent’ businessman, anyway?  Well, he’s so ‘prominent’,  The Magpie’s web search turned up precisely zilch. Seems there is a bloke of the same or similar name involved in some agricultural concern out at Hughenden, but doesn’t appear to be any connection. It is normal practice for such a court report to include the bare details of his background (cafe owner, real estate agent, newspaper editor or whatever), so it seemed  ‘prominent’ was over-egging the cake more than a bit.

So The Magpie put out the call for info, and sure enough, one of the Nest’s citizen-journalists enlightened us.

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After chasing that up, it turns out, by info his own website, Mr Terry has sold exactly one property in the last year – one of the apartments that he manages.

Media urgers for this law change (with which The Magpie fundamentally disagrees, this piece is about the reporting not the matter itself) have been champing at the bit for some headline fodder, arguing the public’s right to know who walks amongst us.  Didn’t seem to work out in this case, until Nest readers got on the job.

So there you have it, Caitlan, that’s about as prominent you probably want to get for this lazy bit of reporting.

But take heart, m’dear, you aren’t alone in ‘original’ reporting. Whoever writes the gushing guff in the real estate section deserves a mention for this recent story.

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But rubbing it in about how those rich buggers on the hill enjoy an entertainment lifestyle we ordinary folk can only aspire to, we learn of some x-rated wildlife on display.

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This is actually funnier than it seems, because it is a presumably a mishearing somewhere along the production process, because it turns out that there is a bird called a pheasant coucal which is in fact, a cuckoo. And the cuckoo’s bogus nesting habits is where we get the word cuckold from. But of course, they all knew that down at the Astonisher.

Speaking Of Landscaping, A Question For Reporter Light-On Smith

Mate, you’ll remember your indignant response to The Magpie’s doubting that the Double Cross Hotel near the stadium was unlikely to ever happen, insisting that a start would made towards the end of the year. Indeed, on January 14, in your story about the downgrading of the project, you included this quote: ‘Speaking on behalf of project proponent Focus Pacific, chief executive Michael Graham was excited to confirm that construction would begin in the second quarter of 2023, with guests welcomed a year later.’

Well,  Dolan’s buddy better get a wriggle on … this was the site on Saturday.

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Meanwhile, In America …

.. the loveliness continues apace.

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Screen Shot 2023-11-14 at 8.07.28 amFinally, It’s A Dog’s Life

Livin’ the dream is a matter of perspective.

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And Finally, The Week’s Award For Not Paying Close Attention To News

Friendly advice: best to avoid rooftop victory parties, you may be treated to some Russian flying lessons.



That’s it for the week, but keep those coments coming.

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The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. Jeff, Condon says:

    So, in eight years Harpic managed to secure funding Riverway Stage 2. His predecessor did the same for Stage 1 in less than three years.

    Someone must have gotten into fool’s ear because I haven’t heard him crowing about saving the project.

    This guy studied to be an idiot.

  2. Prince Rollmop says:

    Just a friendly reminder that Queensland local government election day will be on Saturday, 16 March 2024, yes just under 4 months to go. The next few months will see an intensification of spin and bullshit from Team Mullet. Frothy and Mullet are quietly preparing for a Mullet win, with Frothy as her deputy. She will then hand over the baton to him at some stage in the future as she departs the scene. They are playing the long game.

    Fran really needs visibility to the voters and has to up the ante big time. Her post cancer battles won’t be seen by many, but are very real. I’m hoping that as the next few months progress, she will become more energetic and lift her profile and hopefully she can land a few blows on the Mullet. Fran has Team Hill and the local media working against her so it’s going to be up to Nesters to do their best to support her. It’s not much, but it’s a starting point.

    “Show Hill the door in 24”

    • Achilles says:

      I suspect that Fran is playing it tactically smart, most of us never listen to any of the stuff vocalised by politicians even more so when they have heard it all before from the same mob of untrustworthy parasite.

      If she just waits until the verbiage has repeated itself multiple times so that nobody takes any notice. Then instead of the beads and blankets, patronising largess approach (read bullshit promises), expose the incumbents by referring to what they did and did NOT do on their last gravy train ride.

      That’s when to fire a barrage of potent Parthian shots. Her main adversary will be the biased (read compromised) and unprofessional Bulletin.

      • PoliWatcher says:

        Fran needs to garner more of a profile across the city. She’s a brave and competent woman who has not yet infiltrated the suburbs beyond her own Div10. She needs a support team if she’s going to have any sort of chance toppling the incumbent. Doesn’t look like she’s got the team behind her to raise her profile. Such a shame because she has a hell of a lot of fight in her. Probably the most honest politician we have in the city too.

    • Spielcheque says:

      Rollmop, what to do about Cr. Fran’s abandoned Division 10? Fran gave up an opportunity to take credit for the TCC $2m already spent on Dingo Park Road in her electorate. Now the Feds have pulled the extra $8m that was promised so no more credit for anyone . . . . except the Team Hill candidate. If the mayoralty remains a two horse race I’m afraid we’re stuffed.

  3. Mike Douglas says:

    There will continue to be plenty of spin and bluster over the next 11 mths to the State Election . Message bank Walker seems to have done more in the last month than the past 2 years . Aaron Harpers ” toughest laws in Australia ” is it true no one has actually had their sentence extended ” . Both Les and Aaron are relying on their Labor branches and a few of the rusted on supporters to even comment on their social media posts both heading to lose their seats . No challengers for Scott Stewart ? .

    • Elusive Butterfly says:

      Exactly Mike….”no challengers for Scott Stewart”
      Crisafulli has to learn that there is no “i” in “the word “team.”
      Sorry Mr. Pie for using this old idiom!
      But, Townsville effectively represents a six-seat swing in the QLD Parliament and, that reduces Labor’s lead by 30 per cent!
      The three LNP candidates have to work as a team, just the same as the three Labor “blind mice” try and work as a team, backed up by the Labor electoral machine.
      Therefore, Crisafulli needs to announce an LNP candidate for Townsville, post haste.
      That LNP “team” needs to attack Labor and the three local fucktards at every opportunity.
      And we know that virtually every Labor Minister, and especially Harper and Walker, will give it a shitload of opportunities!
      Social media has to be bashed, the Bulletin has to be bashed and letterboxes have to be flooded, to open the eyes of all Townsvillians that these three fucktards are just that…fucktards… not worthy of representing this city.
      Over to you Mr. Crisafulli!

      • Inspector Clouseau says:

        Butterflog, can you please explain your remark re the Qld Oppo leader and there is no ‘I’ in team? To what are you exactly referring??? I’m listening………

      • The Horse Whisperer says:

        Elusive Butterflog, you can’t help yourself can you? Any excuse to take a shot at the LNP and Crisafulli. Get a grip (although I suspect that you are already gripping it), get over it. You need to take a walk, smell some flowers, have a soy latte and exorcise those demons. You’re an a-grade arseclown.

  4. Doug K says:

    Can you imagine the 18 industry reps on the Olympics Q2032 advisory group agreeing on anything?
    Hold on, maybe that’s Anna’s cunning plan.
    As for Harpic, he’s proven to be an expert on one thing: shooting himself in the foot.

  5. Prince Rollmop says:

    Captain Combover Albanese is taking the axe to spending, gutting infrastructure projects Australia wide as if he was discarding rubbish. Inflation starting to bite down on his ass? Billions spent on wars we shouldn’t be involved in, in donations to foreign countries, on submarines, war planes and ships that we either don’t have or we do have them but they don’t work, and our country is now almost $1 trillion in debt, and so the list goes on. You can also factor in stupid shit like the costly referendum and the legacy racism that now exists and you have Labor imploding before our eyes. It’s time that the travelling Wilbury Albanese concentrated on our own backyard rather than the backyards of others. As always, every day taxpayers,retiree’s, the homeless, and the poor are being hammered by record fuel prices, record energy and utility bills, record inflation, high interest rates and high rents and mortgages while Mr Magoo travels the world trying to solve everybody else’s problems. Stay home and fix Australia, mate.

    • Old Tradesman says:

      He certainly stood up to China at APEC, he gave them a severe reprimand after the Chinese Navy had busted our navy divers eardrums.

      • The Magpie says:

        Are you sure, OT? The Opposition have asked exactly that question – did the PM broach the matter with the Chinese president at their side meeting vat APEC, but al Labor will say is that Australia responded in the appropriate way. But if The ‘Pie is behind the times, please give us an update.

        • Old Tradesman says:

          Pie you know full well that he knew about it in San Francisco but only came out with it today, the man if you could call the wanker that, thinks he is a statesman.

        • Jeff, Condon says:

          Albo would have apologised to Xi for our divers getting in way of their sonar pulses.

      • Prince Rollmop says:

        I doubt that Albo said anything of value to Xi, and if he did it would be through a letter written by one of his PMC goons. As if Xi would take seriously anything that Mr Magoo says. Albo is a jellyback and a pawn of Biden. His lisping and lickspittle would have fallen (and landed) on deaf ears.

        • The Magpie says:

          That’s a bit selective … Xi wouldn’t take ANY Australian PM seriously, why would he? And The ‘Pie certainly does agree Albanese has done anything untoward with Biden, given the imbalance of power between the two, and the protection we count on (with diminishing confidence) that America may provide us with.

          • Tenacious D says:

            With no official Statement issued or joint letter, it will remain a case of

            “He said, Xi said”

            Ill show myself out….

      • Fish Kill says:

        I wonder what the whales and dolphins think of all the underwater “pings.”

  6. Critical says:

    Does anyone know who pays for the large electronic notice board on the corner of Bowen Rd and Touch St that promoes the ALP government and Les Walker.
    Be interesting to see how the messages on this board change to ALP promotional bullshit In 2024.

    • I’m also Scoop says:

      The cost of this can be met from an MP’s Electorate & Communications Allowance except when it encourages voters to vote or not vote for a candidate or party.

  7. Tom says:

    KAP and LNP both contesting seats does nothing but divide the anti Labor vote,and gives the likes of Harpic another term, the thought of which is terrifying. I m not young enough to think they all aren’t aware, which poses the question, why?

    • Bullshit says:

      There’s no such thing as dividing the anti-Labor vote in a preferential system.

    • Jeff, Condon says:

      Tom, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. Watch all the ratbag mobs climb on board and then, strangely, give all their preferences to Labor. Rumours of a few $$$s changing hands are never substantiated.

    • I’m also Scoop says:

      With the Premier stating she won’t do deals or form govt with the Greens (why anyone would is beyond me), that leaves the Independent in Noosa and the KAP as Labor’s only options.
      Given at least one “independent” member of Team Hill is already on the receiving end of Dametto’s praise and the increase in media conferences featuring a Labor Minister and a KAP rep, there is a clear message for anyone who chooses to look.
      Throw in a couple of $B for CopperString, formerly owned by Katter relatives, and you have to ask questions.
      Of course the extra taxpayer-funded Advisors given to the KAP wouldn’t be a sign of anything untoward, especially when, on a per-MP basis, the KAP and cross bench now have more Advisors than the opposition.
      Not a bad tactic to try and push those who won’t vote for Harpic, Left Right Les or Stewart )again who would) to the KAP instead of the LNP.
      Will be interesting to see if KAP will finally preference against Labor or play their “you decide” get out of jail card again.

      • Hondaman says:

        Scoop, I’m pretty sure the skeletons in the Katter and another major party ( non labor) closet are the reason KAP will never preference the Libs directly. Their cowardly and self serving each way bet last election proved that they are certainly only interested in themselves staying on the public teat for as long as possible! Bob has done pretty well for himself following this mantra with his continual hair brained schemes that keeps the fish wrappers amused, ensuring his media presence is probably greater than Dentures Beattie – and that would take some topping!!

        • I'm also Scoop says:

          Spot on Hondaman.
          Whilst being on the teat, you’d hope one would remember to lock their car lest it be stolen.
          But the odds of that happening at lodgings funded by the taxpayer would surely be higher than the odds of the Tszyu family hiring Left Right Les as a boxing coach.
          At least there’s the taxpayer funded vehicle allowance to help offset any costs should your insurer discover the vehicle wasn’t locked.
          Lucky no one is that silly.

    • PoliWatcher says:

      The majors actually like the split ticket offered by the KAP. Preference flow (preferences chosen by voters) from it can help either of the majors, but given the nature of voters in the TSV seats, it often advantages the ALP., and yes, may very well help Walker and Harper, more than people realise. Put it this way, neither Walker or Harper are anywhere near nervous about the KAP entries into the race. They’d actually be very happy and will most likely have them at second spot on their How To Vote cards. They may, however, be a little more nervous if ON offers a decent candidate,, or even a high quality/profile independent, but that’s unlikely for the next election. ONs profile has diminished significantly in TSV. Hansen’s presence is almost non-existent. I don’t see any changes after the next State election.

      • The Magpie says:

        Just to clear up an ambiguity in the last sentence PW … surely we shouldn’t interpret that as you saying you think Labor will win (no change) … or do you believe the electorate’s attitude towards On won’t change?

        • PoliWatcher says:

          As much as I would personally like to see change (especially in Thuringowa), I believe Walker, Stewart and Harper will hold their seats. Harper’s will be very close, but the KAP and Green preference flow (preferences selected by the voters) will help him get over the line. As for whether the ALP wins the State election, it will depend on what is happening closer to election time – the swinging voters will make all the difference.

      • Jeff, Condon says:

        The highest hurdle to be cleared in Townsville is the old family attitude. A few years ago I was standing in line to vote and heard one man say to another, ”I hate them Labor bastards but me grandad would roll over in his grave if I voted any other way. We’ve always voted Labor in my family. ”

        There’s no way past this type of thinking/not thinking. Labor has it’s own subculture and they can do anything the like to its members, secure in the knowledge that they will always get their vote.

        The upcoming generations are also being indoctrinated in the leftist ideology in the schools at the behest of the unions. School kids have enough intelligence to understand climate theory along with the socio economic consequences of radical ill conceived changes in power generation.

        On the other hand, it’s not their fault if they break, enter and steal, drive stolen cars dangerously and assault innocent people, because they don’t understand consequences of theirbehaviour. After all, their brains aren’t fully developed until they’re 25.

        The way it’s going I’m just glad that I’m getting towards the end of my tenure.

      • Spielcheque says:

        Here’s some context for the discussion – the 2020 result for Thuringowa:

        Labor Aaron Harper 10,922 36.83%
        Liberal National Natalie Marr 9,022 30.42%
        Katter’s Australian Julianne Wood 4,780 16.12%
        One Nation Jeni Alexander 2,907 9.80%
        Greens Heidi Hardisty 1,476 4.98%
        United Australia Michael (Blu) Turner 547 1.84%

        Total formal votes 29,654 96.17%
        Informal votes 1,182 3.83%
        Turnout 30,836

        Two-party-preferred result
        Labor Aaron Harper 15,790 53.25% −0.90
        Liberal National Natalie Marr 13,864 46.75%

        Haven’t heard a peep from Clive Palmer so don’t know if there will be a United Australia party this time round. Very confusing demographic in conservative, cost-of-living sensitive Thuringowa. Disaffected Labor voters could go anywhere – Greens, Katter or One Nation (they have before). Where their preferences will go is anyone’s guess. Plus, there’s a bit of water to go under the mortgage stress / youth crime bridge yet.

        • 49 Years Here says:

          Ken Turner, fisherman, and loved Christmas Santa character, and ON candidate got voted in for Thuringowa. The media conspired to not publish a word he said, or anything he did for his time in office. They shut him down.
          Seems they will do the same with Fran.
          Democracy is fucked with our a free and fearless press (media for you young people).

          • Spielcheque says:

            49er, Cr. Fran was once an occasional contributor here at the ‘Nest. As far as I can tell she was given a respectful welcome and encouraged to come back with more. For a long time there has been nothing, although occasionally someone drags some trash over from Facebook, trash about internal shenanigans in Council or ‘transparency’. Boring as batshit.

            Fran is not being ‘shut down’ by the media; she simply has nothing to say. The Magpie has made clear she has a free forum here at the ‘Nest – maybe she thinks it’s too mongrel and not her cup of tea. Unfortunately, the mayoralty, with all its demands for wheeling and dealing with all and sundry, may not really be her cup of tea either.

          • Jeff, Condon says:

            I can remember seeing quite a few pieces in the rag about him. I never met him although I had a long phone conversation once. He seemed to be a good man.

      • Sandy Feet says:

        Old pollywaffle is at it again. What madness does thou speak?

        If you think the majors like the KAP split ticket you need to do more PoliWatching. It does nothing for the majors. It allows the KAP to not pick aside publicly. They call it independence, I call it cowardice. You are right though, they’re gearing up to support Labor again.

  8. Mike Douglas says:

    Palaszczcuk Government doubling first home buyers grant to $30k June 2025 . Steven Miles posted that it includes new homes , units , townhouses , granny flats . Majority of responses that it will simply push the price of land and properties up . Thoughts ? .

    • Not Prince Rollmop says:

      So Anna doubles the grant to a paltry $30k. Meanwhile the cost of living including most foods, fuel, insurance and electricity have risen around 30% or more. Building materials are up 20 to 40%. The extra $15k from Anna will hardly make a difference. What is a 20 year old male in an apprenticeship going to buy – a fucking second hand tent? FFS the government is delusional and living in a parallel universe.

      I’ve said it before, let people access part of their superannuation. Young people won’t have much in their super, but parents and grandparents might be able to access some and use it for their kids deposits. The financial issues that we are facing are long term issues. Monetary policy has to change. Drastic times call for drastic measures. There needs to be thinking outside of the box.

    • Alahazbin says:

      MD. Just like free kindy, it’s a vote catcher for the not so informed younger vote.

  9. The Magpie says:

    Sorry Green Pick but no.No way.
    If The Magpie published your comment … whether true or not … there would be possible repercussions – for the outcome of the current matters, fo The Magpie for publishing it, BUT not for you because we don’t know who you are. But perhaps you’re right, further alleged incidents may come to light as the matter moves ahead. We’ll juist have to wait and see.

  10. Green Pick says:

    Understood Magpie. Certainly don’t want to see your blog get dragged into any shit…

  11. Empty Pockets says:

    Bookings opened this morning for the new 5-star Ardo Hotel down next to the casino so I went online to book a room for a mate who is coming up for a wedding next month. Have been in a state of shock since. Rates start at $515 a night for a Courtyard Room and rise to $575 for a Marina View King Room, $655 for an Ocean King Room and an eye-watering $985 for an Ocean Corner Suite. In case you’re wondering, those prices do not include breakfast or any other extras. Needless to say my mate will be staying at a less expensive hotel.

    • The Magpie says:

      What did you expect for $80million?

    • Wealthy out of town Snob says:

      Well of course!

      Such an establishment does not want the patronage of unwashed locals.

      They lower the tone and are devoid of any culture and etiquette.

      Just look at who they selected as their Mayor.

      • Elusive Butterfly says:

        But the rooms have got cork flooring.
        Must be the new thing for “five-star” hotels??

        • The Magpie says:

          Not sure what you’re talking about or how you know that, but surely if you’ve read that somewhere,m it would be a sound-deadening matter, covered over by (one hopes) luxurious carpet. The idea of a five star hotel with cork-floor bedrooms? Do hav e they hung the walls with paintings of dogs playing poker or maybe Tretchikoff green asian lady paintings above the tray with powdered coffee sachets and packet sugar?

          • Elusive Butterfly says:


            Sorry, no carpet Mr. Pie.
            Read it and weep!
            But, apparently, the rooms have got cupboards “with handles!”
            London’s Dorchester Hotel is so envious..

          • The Magpie says:

            We live and learn … cork must’ve taken a massive technical turn to suddenly become high-end flooring such as here.

          • Critical says:

            Cork flooring is easy to keep clean and sanitise and a cost saving on labour. I’ve stayed in a number of motels which have tiled flooring for the same reason.

            At least the rates will keep the bogans of Townsville and elsewhere away from staying here and they can stay at the economy class of Hilton, if it ever gets built.

            But I wonder if Townsville is ready for a five star hotel when people complain about the price and fittings in the rooms. Having said that it great to see a five star hotel in Townsville.

          • The Magpie says:

            There is a tale to be had here – Ardo does NOT meet all the criteria of 5 stars but The Magpie would like to make it clear that he has nothing but admiration and praise for Chris Morris, if only because he is that Townsville rarity – a man who does what he says he will do, and uses his own money to do it, without the burden of irritating ‘committee designed camel’ partners. (You can do that when you own a casino or two.)

            Having travelled extensively in days of yore, The ‘Pie has found that the hotel rating system is – umm, how can we put it – how about ‘flexible’? If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, the stars are often in the eyes of the owner. So the web tells us that decades ago, few companies handed out stars — or diamonds, as the American Automobile Association calls its ratings. But now, countless magazines, guidebooks and websites issue them. And in places like Australia, India and Dubai, hotels are rated by governments, tourism boards and industry councils. And not such a daft idea, since taxpayer funded politicians are the main users of up-market stabling.

            There are certain parameters to rate a star but these too are somewhat rubbery. That is not to say that Mr Morris has delivered Townsville a very fine and ‘tourist/high roller’ attractive new entity to the mix.

            However – and this is not a technical or semantic quibble, it is fact – Ardo is NOT a 5-star pub … not yet anyway.

            One of the accepted levels of five stardom used by the heavy hitters of the travel industry is that a five-star property provides flawless guest services in a state-of-the-art facility. As a five-star property, such as premium dining options and personalized services to its guests. With no detail being overlooked, these hotels commonly even provides high-end, luxury toiletries for guests.

            It is difficult to rate service as anything at all, let alone ‘flawless’ when you haven’t even opened. But if anyone is going to keep the staff up to the mark it will be the Ville Casino and Hotel CEO, Michael Jones. Haven’t seen any title for Mr Jones to involve him in Ardo, but he probably doesn’t need official recognition – after all Chris Morris has a big business-type bromance with Jonesy …. why else would you throw all sorts emoluments like a house, car and whopper pay bonuses at his CEO when it looked like Jones was about to run as an LNP candidate not so long ago. (It was possibly against Scott Stewart, an almost certain win.

            Given Queensland politics, it would seem Mr Jones made the sensible decision. As did Mr Morris.

          • Spielcheque says:

            Since you mentioned Scott Stewart, here’s the 2020 election result for the seat of Townsville:

            Labor Scott Stewart 10,289 36.20%
            Liberal National John Hathaway 9,508 33.45%
            Katter’s Australian Joshua Schwarz 3,204 11.27%
            Greens Tom O’Grady 2,366 8.32%
            One Nation Clive Clarkson 1,293 4.55%
            Animal Justice Samara Grumberg 554 1.95%
            Informed Medical Options Toni McMahon 534 1.88%
            United Australia Greg Dowling 520 1.83%
            NQ First Clynton Hawks 157 0.55%

            Total formal votes 28,425 95.04%
            Informal votes 1,484 4.96%
            Turnout 29,909

            Two-party-preferred result
            Labor Scott Stewart 15,099 53.12%
            Liberal National John Hathaway 13,326 46.88%

          • The Magpie says:

            Shows Captain Cupcake is very vulnerable, Hathaway’s a nice bloke, but not many political smarts and doesn’t seem to have a skerrick of the mongrel in him, much needed in politics.

            But The ‘Pie thanks you for the smile you brought him, looking at United Australia Greg Dowling 520 1.83%

          • Spielcheque says:

            And since we’re in the space here’s the 2020 result for Mundingburra:

            Labor Les Walker 10,839 38.22%
            Liberal National Glenn Doyle 9,170 32.33%
            Katter’s Australian Alannah Tomlinson 3,448 12.16%
            Greens Jenny Brown 1,953 6.89%
            One Nation Ian Bowron 1,323 4.67%
            Legalise Cannabis Susan Jackson 1,307 4.61%
            United Australia Martin Brewster 320 1.13%

            Total formal votes 28,360 96.78%
            Informal votes 945 3.22%
            Turnout 29,305

            Two-party-preferred result
            Labor Les Walker 15,295 53.93%
            Liberal National Glenn Doyle 13,065 46.07%

            What is notable in each of the three Townsville electorates (four if you include Burdekin, and we should because it takes in parts of Annandale, Oonoonba, Idalia, Wulguru, Stuart and Lansdown) is the marked decline of One Nation’s vote by 2020.
            Whilst trawling through these figures I noticed the 2015 result for Mundingburra:

            Liberal National David Crisafulli 10,921 41.32%
            Labor Coralee O’Rourke 10,596 40.09%
            Palmer United Clive Mensink 2,874 10.87%
            Greens Jenny Brown 2,040 7.72%

            Total formal votes 26,431
            Informal votes 606
            Turnout 27,037

            Two-party-preferred result
            Labor Coralee O’Rourke 13,104 52.76%
            Liberal National David Crisafulli 11,733 47.24%
            Labor gain from Liberal National Swing +12.95% (Ouch!)

            I had forgotten that DCrisafulli had once held the seat of Mundingburra (2012 election) and was tossed in 2015. Also notable that Clive Palmer’s relation (nephew?) and company director Clive Mensink had a local profile at the time – before a hasty departure to eastern Europe and a long (and continuing) holiday in a country with no deportation treaty with Australia. Ah! Politics.

          • The Magpie says:

            The Kid was indeed the local MP and the Minister for Local Government.

            And regarding the stats, doesn’t it show the pivotal role the Mad Katters will play at the polls.

          • Spielcheque says:

            Just for the record, the fifth state electorate that includes a part of Townsville city is Hinchinbrook – which is mainly in the Ingham / Cardwell area but which takes in the ‘northern beaches’ (east of the Bruce Highway, north of the Bohle River), Bushland Beach, Bluewater and Rollingstone – which would be a few thousand (Townsville) people by now and held by the Katter party.

        • Old Tradesman says:

          EB, why don’t you book a room at the Double Tree Hilton at the stadium.

    • White Mouse says:

      Short Arms, deep pockets – what did you expect the room rates to be? By the way $515 is still cheaper than a standard room at a 5 star hotel in Brisbane/Sydney/ Melbourne.

      • Soy latte sipper says:

        Brisbane/Sydney/Melbourne are much nicer places to visit than our shitty hamlet Townsville, so you would expect the prices in the big cities to be more expensive.

        Now, I’m off to have my soy latte with old friend Elusive Butterfly.

        • Cultured Vulture says:

          This shitty little hamlet has a vibrant performing and visual arts community which is there to enjoy if you stop sipping that wretched drink and take up quaffing chardonnay. Yes, the town has abundant bottom dwellers as will be their spawn, but, we have many top end folks active in promoting cultural pursuits in a civil society. All with out one jot of support from a mostly Bogan rev-head C-I-C council.

          I think you are being a little harsh on our little hamlet.

        • Spielcheque says:

          So help me here, travel guides. Name a premium economy hotel worth using in Melbourne CBD early in the new year. Asking for a friend.

          • The Magpie says:

            Believe it or not, the stay-at-home ‘Pie can actually make a serious suggestion. If said friend is in the RACQ or any affiliated organisation, he/she might try the RACV Club … it’s in the CBD, and is by all reports excellent value. But haven’t been there myself, but check it out.

          • White Mouse says:

            Try Ibis hotels – cheaper rates if you are an Accor member (free membership). There is a lot on in Melbourne in January, so don’t expect anything super cheap.

  12. Spielcheque says:

    Magpie, following on from last week’s discussion about raising the wall of the Burdekin Dam and the economic benefits that might arise, or not, I found this document:

    Regional Water Supply Security Assessment

    Although it is dated 2014 (ie. before the Drought and the Flood and Lansdown) it has a good discussion of the issues and provides lots of data and figures. It also shows how hard it is to quantify the economic value of “water security”.

  13. Doug K says:

    I see Frothy Chino has a letter in today’s paper expressing outrage about the juvenile crime problem and offering suggestions on how it can be fixed.
    Just wondering Frothy, where was your outrage two years go?
    Must be worried about next year’s elections.

    • Alahazbin says:

      I wonder if he shot off a copy to Anna.

    • Old Tradesman says:

      Frothy seems to forget that it is his Labor mates that have created the problem, or is it that Dolan has written the letter for him as a form of reverse psychology to make him look like a knight in shining armour.

      • The Magpie says:

        Well maybe, but we could also take it at face value, and that then puts the onus on him to walk the walk. Must say, though, it sounds a bit like an CV application for higher office. Ala asks a good question.

  14. Spielcheque says:

    The Sydney Morning Herald is speculating: Will Gladys Berejiklian be Optus’ next CEO?

    • The Magpie says:

      Those funny fellas at The Shovel recently suggested much the same, with their bet being she’d move Telstra HQ to Wagga.

  15. Al says:

    It annoys me that so many people are calling their supposed head honsho “Albo”. His first two letters are An and Al. Mine are Al and Bo. Please respect me!

  16. FFS says:

    FFS, this native title bullshit is getting out of hand.

    Extract from the link:
    The state government, which manages the hundreds of quarries scattered across the outback, recently changed its interpretation of the federal Native Title Act 1993.

    It means councils must form Indigenous Land Use Agreements (ILUA) with the native title holders for each individual gravel pit.

    That process can take more than 12 months,


    • The Magpie says:

      What do you mean, ‘getting’?

    • Spielcheque says:

      FFS, why claim that the ILUA process can take more than 12 months when the one example given in the ABC story showed it could be settled in a couple of months?

      “Barcoo Shire Council was the first council in Queensland to have its gravel pit licences revoked. Only 14 of its 88 gravel pits were renewed in September.
      Barcoo Shire has since managed to reopen another 26 pits after forming agreements with local Aboriginal groups.”

      • FFS says:

        Read the news article link. When you do you will learn the 12 months reference came from the ABC News link and not from me.

        • Spielcheque says:

          FFS, I already read and quoted from the article. Blame the ABC journalist if you like but it was you who selected the quote you used. As to your more pointed line that Native Title is bullshit getting out of hand, it is likely that many if not all of these western Queensland quarry sites are on State Land that has never been formally ceded. You know the drill; Mabo and Wick demonstrated, in the High Court no less, that ‘terra nullius’ was a convenient fiction and constitutional bullshit. That is why the state and its local governments have no choice about ILUAs. Those specific plots of land are not the local council’s property and they have no right to help themselves to them. Get over it.

          • Jeff, Condon says:

            Spieletc. Terra Nullius was international law at that time and not a convenient fiction. Our crazy left wing judiciary is wringing its hands and trying to bring the country down through misconceived ideology.

            All that’s occurring now is that projects which benefit EVERYONE are being extorted for the benefit of a corrupt few who control the land councils and their corporations. Local ordinary aboriginals still live in poverty.

            Getting so sick and tired of the race card being pulled over every single bloody thing.

          • The Magpie says:

            Ironically, the Yes campaign and Albo’s grasp for glory have openly revealed the nature of indigenous claims of universal love of country and deep spirituality … the depths of which all depends on how much money is available. It’s a process that could perhaps be known as The Noel Pearson Strategy. Good old Noosa Noel.

          • Spielcheque says:

            Jeff, at what “time” was terra nullius “international law”? Do you mean the 1700s or the 1900s?
            If you are really interested in the subject and truth telling in general, have a look at David Marr’s new book ‘Killing for Country’. It should be in your local library. I dare you.

          • Proctoligist says:

            You have all of the dignity and elegance of someone who has a burr up their ass.

            Keep it civil, and relevant. Oh, and by the way, study Australian colonial history.

  17. Doug K says:

    Don’t know what Harpic has to do with the Aldi Supermarket opening but he was on Seven News last night enlightening viewers that he once went into an Aldi store to buy a underarm deodorant and walked out with a chainsaw. Can one of his Labor mates check that he’s ok.

    • The Magpie says:

      And count his arms.

    • Old Tradesman says:

      He certainly is on the nose.

    • News Hound says:

      Chainsaw hey? Perhaps he aspires to be president of Argentina.

    • Not Prince Rollmop says:

      Judging by Harpic’s growing Turkey neck, I would say he spends quite a bit of time and money at food stores. He will have a feast on Aldi’s tiramisu treats.

    • Prince Rollmop says:

      These politicians will gate crash any event in an effort to gain glory. He would’ve had no involvement in the planning and construction of Aldi, yet he turns up for the ribbon cutting and seeks praise. What a slippery weasel. I’m surprised that Claudia Bumme-smith hasn’t tried to claim an accolade for Aldi coming to town.

      • The Magpie says:

        But what does it say about a city, whose mayor is forever wittering about ‘world class’, ‘world stage’, and ‘world first’ when the news that deserves a front page on the city’s newspaper, is the opening of a supermarket!!! And what does it say about the paper … dumbing us down again. Really, FFS.

    • Jeff, Condon says:

      Nahh, he’s saying he’s a loveable lad and ‘armless.

  18. Mike Douglas says:

    Aaron Harper missed the Aldi opening out of town on a youth justice committee . He didn’t avoid issues narrowly avoiding being voted off by other committee members based on his performance at the Crime rally Townsville . Messagebank stepped in telling the media he is in talks with Aldi for more sites in North Queensland . Aldi already have secured other sites and negotiating with landlords in the North for store openings . I doubt their key decision makers even know who the Member for Mundingburra is let alone in discussions on any future developments .

  19. Prince Rollmop says:

    Here is one that Lightweight Leighton can follow up on. He always gets the scoops from the Magpies Nest.

    Not public yet but North Queensland Airports (NQA), they own Cairns and Mackay airports, are looking at buying a 70% stake in Queensland Airports Limited (QAL). QAL own Townsville, Gold Coast and Mount Isa airports. If the deal comes off, the hedge fund owners will no doubt gut the airports (including Townsville) even further to boost up the value of their asset. No spending on upgrades, minimal maintenance, run the airport off the smell of an oily rag. Bump up user fees and charges and then hold on to the asset for 5 or so years before partially selling it off. Standard practise.

    • The Magpie says:

      Not sure of the logic or evidence for all that, Dead Herring. The ‘Pie understands a motza has been spent on Cairns airport, so the mob don’t seem adverse to upgrading, even if it does come as increased prices.

  20. Jeff, Condon says:

    Spieletc, doesn’t matter how many new books are written, history still tells us that Capt Cook claimed the Australian territory for England in 1770. He saw no villages or tilled fields so therefore in the prevailing European custom at that time, it was deemed terra nullius, no mans’ land. If the French had claimed it, it would have gone the same way.

    It may not be right or fair in our ”enlightened” age but that’s the way it was then. It’s history, stagnant, time to move on. Those who keep looking back in unrelenting rage and bitterness will never, ever progress on to the dynamic future.

    • The Magpie says:

      And be nice if there was some appreciation of the positives they are (admittedly somewhat belatedly) getting from the colonial presence. Noel Pearson for a form of government that allows him to scam hundreds of thousands – if not millions – in govt money for the benefit of his family, Marcia Langton and whatsername Davy for the university education (apparently) they received to bring them light ears forward in human understanding of the world, and surely Lidia Thorpe should give thanks for the engineering miracle she enjoys so much, the Harley Davidson whose rumbling vibrations get her excited enough to tumble on the club bar for her bikie boyfriend.

      • Achilles says:

        Simple question, does anyone know if there is a statutory requirement for a person to provide proof when claiming to be an Aboriginal? and thereby any of the “benefits” to which the indigenous are entitled to.

        During that “Voice” nonsense a very high percentage of the mouthpieces of the Yes campaign did not appear to have any color or physique that appeared even remotely similar to any member of the Aboriginal race.

      • Spielcheque says:

        Magpie, how can a person like Megan Davis demonstrate to you some appreciation of the positives she has (admittedly somewhat belatedly) received from the colonial presence, when you refuse point blank to acknowledge her name, her place, even her very existence?

        • The Magpie says:

          Says the person who calls himself Spielcheque.

          And she has had ample opportunity to express her appreciation of her educational opportunities, but to The ‘Pie’s knowledge, has not even once acknowledged that her currently comfortable life could possibly be anything to do with what the lesser of her mob call ‘white cunts’.

          And an interesting point worth pondering.
          Professor Megan Davis | ANU National Centre for Indigenous … from Wiki:
          Megan Davis is an Aboriginal woman (Cobble Cobble) from south east Queensland and of south-sea Islander descent (Vanuatu).

          She is happy to identify herself as partly SE Islander descent, a significantly different ethnic line, but very few other indigenous people think it appropriate to identify with any variation in the ‘purity’ of the lineage (with the prominent exception of Jacinta Yangapi Nampijinpa Price, who acknowledges makes a point of her anglo-celtic heritage).

          This has the nasty tinge of suggested widespread rape, which may be the case in some instances, but the majority of descendants of mixed blood are the result of conventional stable marriages. In effect, so many ‘indigenous’ people refuse to acknowledge a significant part of their heritage.

      • ABS says:

        Why aren’t those uppity First Nations grateful for all the things they had to fight to get equal access to every step of the way.

        • The Magpie says:

          Because people like you are telling them they should feel guilty, and urge them not to look to an improved present and a better future, but stare into the rear-view mirror of grievance and resentment.

    • Spielcheque says:

      Jeff, you are not even wrong. You just don’t have a clue. It was Phillip who came to this place with his royal instructions about dealing with the natives. No mention of an empty land because Cook and others had already met a few locals.
      But you read your history and I’ll read mine.

    • Ratepayer says:

      Don’t get into arguments with Spielberg, aka Elusive Butterflog. He/she is highly sensitive when it comes to matters indigenous (see, no capital letter) and matters LNP. A ‘woke’ fuckwit and Labor footstool.

  21. Diogenes says:

    Local news item tonight provided further confirmation that the State Government “Any publicity will do” grandstanding strategy is fully underway for our three local members. The news item was about visits to Townsville by passing cruise ships and standing behind Claudia B-S as she expounded on the economic benefits for the region was our very own dummkopf – Memory Blank Walker, trying to look relevant to the occasion . Probably ended up there because he forgot he was supposed to go to the Aldi opening. I believe he was overheard mumbling something about ‘”..must find an event – gotta look representative… – Oh !! – there’s one…”

    • Jeff, Condon says:

      The ships’ passengers will look upon the ghost town of Townsville with disbelief.

      • The Magpie says:

        … and we, as we regularly are, will be suitably embarrassed. But whatever boost they bring for local businesses will be welcome, but return visits are highly unlikely.

  22. Achilles says:

    On the news, a clip of a meeting of NZ leaders, all along the stage were NZ flags. Seems that the “wrong white crowd” are united ubder one banner.

    No other flags from any other minority group or race.

    Pity Oz is so driven by apologetic hanky wringers, that we have to allow disuniting emblems of a tiny minority to be placed adjacent to National Flag.

  23. Jeff, Condon says:

    I can’t help myself with Spieletc’s ignorance, so I’ll try again:

    Lieutenant James Cook’s journal, 22 August 1770:

    Notwithstand[ing] I had in the Name of his Majesty taken posession of several places upon this coast I now once more hoisted English Coulers and in the Name of His Majesty King George the Third took posession of the whole Eastern Coast from … Latitude [38° South] down to this place by the Name of New South Wales together with all the Bays, Harbours Rivers and Islands situate upon the said coast after which we fired three Volleys of small Arms which were Answerd by the like number from the Ship.

    Capt Arthur Phillip’s orders were to establish a convict settlement in NSW, not to enter into Mabo style deliberations with the Eora. Once again, writing the bleeding obvious – that was in the static past. With the benefit of a couple of hundred years contemplation and discussion, it’s easy to criticise past actions.

    In 200 years from now our descendants will probably be dumbfounded, asking “They believed wind and solar power would do what to the climate?”

    • ABS says:

      If your clownish statements about wind and solar weren’t enough to discredit your intellect, your inability to post in a comment thread does.

    • Morse code says:

      And the Endeavour likely didn’t hoist a rainbow flag on it either. Had the Abbo’s had their way all over again they would’ve charged Cook a landing fee for his ship. Actually, they would’ve sold the country to him. But of course the monetary system is something that white man brought in. Funny how they don’t complain about getting royalties and fat wads of compensation over certain parcels of land they happily give up. Hypocrites.

    • Ben Rumson says:

      Jeff, Jeff,,

      Don’t argue with a fool. They will reduce you to their level, and they have infenatily more experience.

  24. Ben Rumson says:

    Over educated, out of touch, really well payed, government advisor, “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”


    I am in favour of remote detention; Macquarie Harbour 1821 might be a blueprint.

    Those of you with a successful Queensland education will remember the poem Macquarie Harbour by Rex Ingamells. Call of the Gums, anthology of Australian Verse 1962, published by Edward Arnold Ltd. London.

  25. ABS says:

    Ridiculous diversion in this blog, people now arguing over Captain Cook history. Christ people, get a fucking life. Seriously…..

  26. Prince Rollmop says:

    This is a disgrace;


    Cupcake Stewart has definitely dropped the ball on this particular matter. Politicians and bureaucrats always receive ‘benefits’ from industry.

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