A popular foundation member and elected board member of the League’s club has been booted off the board for … among other things … supposedly talking to The Magpie. (Gasp!) The ‘Pie reports on the murky tale of Jim Gleeson’s boardroom demise.
Also, are the wheels about to fall off the water wagon? Why the Water For Townsville Facebook push is in danger of becoming mouse mousse.
And with fake news to the fore nowadays, April Fools media jokes are almost lost in the plethora of daily alternative facts. But the tradition does live on, and this year, there was an expensive and (almost) convincing exception.
But First …
Former prime Minister, bedroom bandicoot and still practicing pisspot Bob Hawke has had a beer named after him. As befitting a public tippler of legend, the man himself launched the Hawke Beer in Sydney, although a marketing coup seems to have been missed; it should have been called Silver Bodgie Beer. Or even better, Bedroom Bandicoot Beer.
Hawke said all the profits from his involvement will go to Landcare, an environmental mob linked with the farming lobby. And that has infuriated the normally mild-mannered super cartoonist Bentley, who literally has his two Bob’s worth to say about the hypocrisy of Hawke and Bob Brown.
A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Boardroom
There’s an old media joke that when he was kid, Rupert Murdoch asked for a cowboy outfit for his birthday, so his parents bought him the Sydney Telegraph.
That joke could now be updated to make it the Cowboys Leagues Club.
A few weeks ago The ‘Pie signalled that the fix was on, when he noted the unusual take on club democracy adopted by the current Cowboys’ Leagues Club board (as distinct from the actual Football Club, which is an associated but different entity).
It’s an 11 person board, but under the current constitution, seven of the 11 member board are permanent directors who do not have to face regular re-election. The other four spots are voted on by the membership from among their number, with two of the four being ‘retired’ every two years and have to wait until the next election to stand again.
So in essence, the Cowboys Club elections are simply window-dressing, while the permanent directors – all members of this town’s Gilded Few, led by Daryl Holmes, Joe Carey and, of course, Lozza Lancini – use their majority to determine all club matters. Only a cynic would say that the ruling majority put up some favoured nominees for the ‘membership’ vacancies (TEL’s Bridget Woods and TCC CEO Ray Burton are past nominees, both went down in flames) because directors pick up around at least $500 for each of the eight annual meetings. Over two years, that’s a handy $8 grand per director, ta muchly.
And right here, let The Magpie unequivocally state that he knows of, not has been told of, anything illegal, immoral or fattening in the board’s decision making. Except perhaps the following, although apparently sanctioned by the constitution carefully wrought and amended by the very same board.
By all the accounts reaching The Magpie, the recent election raises a few ticklish questions. Like the club’s extremely casual approach to ballot box security – none apparently, no lock on the box which was opened and closed several times in the days before the deadline.
But the nub of the matter is amusing to an observer.
That perennial burr under the board’s saddle, Cowboys foundation member Jim Jumbo Gleeson – who in his more polite reflective moments calls a spade a bloody shovel – has been regularly returned to a directorship by a wide margin of members’ votes. This has been much to the displeasure of the suits on the board, who have not appreciated Jumbo’s usually dissident approach to issues they have already decided. In his time, Jumbo has challenged inter alia the pricing structure of food and beverage (‘too dear’, he says, 95% of members are battlers) and the constitutional changes brought in by the board, as well as the situation of permanent board membership that he says does not allow the general membership any real say in club affairs. With queenly disdain, the board members have not been amused.
Despite stringent news rules regarding campaigning for the board, undoubtedly aimed at Jim’s activism on the club floor, he romped home again by a handy margin. Accurate numbers are not available, but one account is hilarious … at the death, with Jim assured of election, all of sudden … and some say for the first time ever … a couple of bundles of postal votes suddenly appeared. Of the hundred or so, there was not a single one for James Gleeson.
BUT DESPITE ALL THIS, JIM GLEESON STILL HAD ENOUGH POPULAR SUPPORT TO A WIN A BOARD SEAT.
Hmmm, so it was back to the drawing board, and then … reportedly again for the first time ever … preferences were counted. That put subsequent appointee Darren Gardner ahead, but Jim was still in second place, and therefore eligible for a seat on the board. Coming in a fairly distant third was our future deputy mayor (if Dolan Hayes has his way) Ann-Maree Greaney.
But the best of this Yes Minister farce was yet to come.
The board’s fury was palpable, they were as mad as hell and weren’t going to take it any more. By all reports from Jim’s mates (he himself has gone to ground and is, for once, saying nothing) the chairman Darryl Holmes, Joe Carey and Laurence Lancini called him in to front a star chamber hearing. His sins were enumerated – Jim’s friends tell The ‘Pie this consisted in essence of arguing against the board’s decisions and having sought constitutional change to give ordinary members stronger representation in decision making. Not that that made any difference to any subsequent outcome, but it appears his real sin, according to Lozza Lancini, was ‘talking to the media, in this case The Magpie” (The ‘Pie is flattered, Lozza.)
A digression: anybody spot the irony here, Laurence Lancini, one of Bulletin editor Ben English’s puppet masters, complaining about one-sided accounts in the ‘media’!!! Or was it the accuracy of The Magpie’s information that he saw as a dangerous precedent?
But back to the chase. It was at that stage, The ‘Pie is told the criminal Gleeson was given a Hobson’s Choice … resign or be terminated. Jumbo declined to resign – one imagines his response was two words involving sex and travel – and was forthwith given the chop.
Now why does The ‘Pie goeth on no end about this, you ask? For three reasons.
The Cowboys’ Leagues Club charter points out it is owned by the members (last count: 21,000, but really around 31,000, the website is hopelessly out of date – as of today, it still had Jim Gleeson as a board member, which he hasn’t been for two years – must be done by an Astonisher journo) Like other clubs, that membership is entitled to a more democratic constitution that would avoid these sorts of shenanigans. So what if Jumbo is a right royal pain the arse ( which he certainly can be, as The Magpie knows from Councillor Gleeson’s days on TCC): that’s called the varied voices of democratic debate.
Secondly, at a whim of pique over some blunt opinions from a foundation member of the club, the board at a stroke has disenfranchised and given a dismissive finger to all those members who voted for Gleeson.
And the third reason? It seems to The ‘Pie that the Cowboys Leagues Club is a reflection in microcosm of the Townsville community as a whole. For a large part of our recent history, not enough people have given a hoot how the place is run, the direction it is heading in or the governance climate where the undeserving, the scheming and outright incompetent could get up to all sorts of untoward behaviour.
Speaking Of Memberships …
Noticed recently that PoohBah of the toffee North Queensland Club David Kippen was talking up the club’s perennial expansion plans, and said the club was aiming at a younger membership.
The club has long had an image of a Colonel Blimp haven, where old codgers read the financial pages while trying not to allow any slight bladder leakage to interrupt their cogitations. It has also long been a meeting place for the upper echelons of the legal fraternity.
But if a younger membership is to embrace the place, then apart from a few changes to the kitchen fare, facilities and décor, the club will have to rethink it’s fees.
When The ‘Pie was (don’t laugh) invited to join some years ago, he was told it was $400 … per quarter!! Yikes. When asked what he got for that sort of money, he was snootily told ‘In the door’.
He declined the invitation, with thanks that someone thought he had that sort wherewithal. Even if things aren’t quite as eye-popping nowadays, the NQ Club will have to have a drastic rethink about its diminished place in the modern world of clubs that boast gyms, pools and innovative food operations … all available for membership fees of around $10 to $15 dollars. Annually.
Snow In Townsville? You’d Better Believe It
The big snow job has started, and the Water For Townsville mob better have had their ‘flu shots.
First, a cautionary tale. The Magpie was once allowed the privilege of staying behind after Billabong Sanctuary closed for the day to watch the feeding of the snakes, particularly the constrictors. Little wonder this rite of nature isn’t allowed to the general public, particularly kids. With mesmerized horror, The Magpie watched as a mouse was slipped into the glassed enclosure. My first thought was ‘run you little bugger, he’ll never be quick enough to catch you’.
Instead, the little nose twitcher inquisitively walked right up to the very head of the snake, innocently sniffing it out. The motionless reptile, only it’s eyes moving, impassively considered this fortunate delivery of meals on legs for a minute or so, before in one lighting move, the mouse was no longer there, with just a faint, final squeak before he was on his way to being mouse mousse.
This indelible memory has been coming back to The ‘Pie in recent weeks, as he follows the fortunes of the Water For Townsville crowd. Led by the indefatigable Linda Ashton, the Facebook page Water For Townsville she established is based on Townsvilleans being ‘as mad as hell, and not going to take it (lack of water security) anymore’.
She certainly hit a chord in the community, and within a few short weeks, the site has 10,500 followers. Linda and her core of organisers, including some highly qualified experts on matters such as hydrology and the like, have churned out an impressive dossier summarizing the dismal history of failure of successive administrations at all levels to implement any of the alternatives for water security for the city. All options and previous studies (all sixty zillion of them) have been summarized and published.
Impressive, indeed.
But it looks like the wheels are wobbling on the water wagon, and could well fall off through political and practical naivety. Not to mention a touch of hubris.
During the week, Linda posted that her group has met with redoubtable Brad Webb the chairman of the hastily cobbled together Townsville water task force. Linda seemed more than a little chuffed that Brad had been ’appreciative’ (what else?) And gosh, so much so, he’s going to print off a copy of a no doubt accurate and detailed report Linda is writing.
Well, I never!
She then says this: Having the level of credibility we’ve earned, in just 4 months, to be invited to be part of the Townsville City Deal promise and process, is an amazing achievement for a volunteer community group.
What that actually means is that the mouse is innocently sniffing around the head of the snake. Or put another way, it is the start of the Water For Townsville group being subsumed by osmosis into the political process of delay, obfuscation and political convenience (‘Another cuppa and an Iced VoVo, m’dear, lovely report you’ve written there.’ ‘Oh, do you really think so, thanks ever so much.’ ‘Your welcome, let’s have another meeting in … say … six months.’)
Linda then adds: ‘The relevant politicians and the media are following our efforts very closely’.
Your damn right about that, girl, but your note of self-satisfaction is wildly misplaced. They are following you closely to monitor your absorption into the process, a process which may or may not – depending on the political lay of the land at the time – bring water security for Townsville. They are not listening to you, Linda, they are just nodding their bloody heads, waiting for supper time.
You write eloquently, passionately and intelligently in many of your Facebook posting, but that passion MUST be carried into into the meeting room. But then, you proudly announce that yes, you are collaborating with the task force, that you are part of it, and proud of the fact.
And that is exactly where the problem lies.
If you want to be seen as more than a retired hobbyist with a lot of time on your hands, you have to be –distasteful as you might personally find it – banging the table with indignant rage. You should be gathering further numbers, as many as you can (yes, I know, you’re trying to ) and when you get to say 15 or 20 thousand, you make the inevitable power play. It is a political move, which in essence, sees you advise any bureaucratic and political footdraggers or those offering syrupy words and bugger all else, that you will advise your membership to vote for the politician that makes pledges to take up the cudgels on water security in earnest for Townsville. (That rules out all our current snowflakes.)
Now, Linda, The ‘Pie has seen your oft-spruiked mantra that you will remain apolitical, which is, frankly, silly tosh … in the end, tea and bikkies and earnest entreaties don’t result in any effect … but the threat of lost votes does … and how! But it doesn’t mean you’re starting out from one particular side of the political fence … you can’t be afraid to use your political clout to seek cast-iron, time locked guarantees.
Remember this. When local electorates that are decided by as little as 37 (very dodgy) votes, if you urge your membership to look favourably on a certain candidate who aligns most with the groups wishes, then, even if say just 10% follow the WFT line, that can make a winning difference. And the pollies know it!
Want to make a meaningful difference and get things happening? Then start being mad, bad and dangerous to know, be rude and crude with righteous indignation, make these bum polishers dread meeting with you. Bang that bloody table. You’re probably the wrong person for the job – you’re too polite by nature and training – but there cannot be anymore mimsy Mr (Ms) Nice Guy (Gal) if you really want to achieve anything. maybe Vern Veitch is up for it.
If you just persist your polite appeals to sweet reason, you will disappear completely into the belly of the snake and all your so far excellent work become irrelevant and will join everything that has gone before … gathering dust somewhere.
In The Magpie’s far-from-humble opinion.
In A Flap About April Fools
With all the fake news and alternative facts splattered across all sorts of modern media, it would appear that April fools Day jokes in the media like the famous BBC spaghetti tree have lost their impact.
But one stood out this year. It was a lavish video media release from Virgin Airlines (must have cost a small fortune) with Branson himself touting a supposed breakthrough in energy saving aircraft.
It’s so good, it’s almost believable.
………………………………..
That’s another week down the drain, but the comments continue apace, and you’re welcome to join in.
And if The ‘Pie has caught you just when you are wallowing in extra cash, a donation to help with this blog’s costs would be much appreciated. The how to donate button is below.
