Why this blog exists...

The Magpie

Sunday, October 13th, 2019   |   125 comments

The ‘Pie Takes A Punt And Reckons Scott Stewart Won’t Run Again.

Mr Stewart may well be the state parliament’s deputy speaker, but all the signs are there that this once respected school principal and educator just isn’t up to being a politician … and he knows it. The Magpie has an exclusive report on the signs of a meltdown …

A few more polite questions for our transparent council – like WTF?   … has the infamous Nous Report that had more than 600 jobs go from the council now been chucked out? Seems some of the key money-saving strategies have.

…and The Astonisher plumbs new depths of dishonesty and appalling reporting … yes, just another week like any other.

A reader serenades our mayor with jaunty Jenny campaign tune …

… and (im)peachy keen … the growing mood in America to come to its senses …

But first.

Supporters Of Greta Gutted

It’s a scandal, where’s the video ref, those Swedish Nobel Prize judges must be on the take … or so goes the lament of Greta Thunberg idolaters … because their prissy little miss didn’t win the Nobel Peace Prize. Instead it’s gone to some inconsequential bloke from Ethiopia, who merely brought democracy to his country and diplomatically solved a decades-long border war with Eritrea that has killed thousands, and will save tens of thousands more. And what’s more, he’s a grown up. Ha! Typical of these Nobel people.

Screen Shot 2019-10-12 at 7.49.19 pm

What cheek!! No sense of proportion, those bloody Swedes. Greta’s  puppet maste … sorry, supporters  are not pleased.

Meanwhile, the angry frowning child pest with the cat’s bum mouth has come to the attention of Bentley, who has been away for a few days. He seems to think girlie Greta’s manipulated campaign could be a tad self-defeating.

Climate Demos flat small

Put aside all arguments for and against climate action, when the rhetoric settles, history will judge that involving school kids in this issue in the way that one side has will go down as one of the most self-defeating PR stunts that alienated previous ardent support.

Will Scott Stewart Step Down? He’s The Peter Principle Writ Large

That principle dictates that a hitherto competent person who, despite lacking the requisite skills to move up, is nevertheless promoted to a level of personal incompetence. Sadly, that is clearly the case of our three hapless local state members, who just scream to be lampooned in the media …

3 blind miceis Three mp'sdownload-1

But The ‘Pie thought specifically of the Peter Principle when he saw this report on Friday.

Scott fronterNCTB_1_2019_10_11_thumb_big

Screen Shot 2019-10-11 at 10.06.28 am

The story, was not a good look for Stewart, especially that the $200,000+ fit-out was done by a Brisbane company over equally competent ones here in Townsville. Compounding the perception of self-interest and ineptitude,  Stewart said (correctly) he didn’t make the decisions and (almost certainly incorrectly) that he therefore had no idea of the cost. That’s a classic case of if not, why not? And typical of the incompetent swerving of this member.

And this story will not sit well with Stewart himself, and when one considers the following information, it would not be stretching credibility that the family dinner table discussion in Chez Stewart may well centre on whether its all worth it and if he should chuck it in.

Because The ‘Pie has learnt the following, from a person attending the Labor branch meeting on Magnetic Island..

With a quivering lower lip and close to tears, Stewart told the meeting on how he was deeply hurt by a recent Townsville Bulletin front page that branded him and the city’s other two Labor MPs ‘gutless’. One of those at the meeting said he was visibly upset (nearly crying) as he told the faithful how his son ‘was given crap’ at university over the headline and story, and so was his wife. He said friends had shunned them as well.

First let’s be clear, such behaviour by third parties towards the family members of a public figure is cowardly, unforgivable and the ultimate in spineless bullying. No matter what anyone’s politics, YOU LEAVE UNINVOLVED FAMILY OUT OF THAT WAR ZONE – ALWAYS.

But Scott Stewart himself has one fatal failing as our MP, which is clearly demonstrated in all this.

While he has proven to be a highly respected and decent man, an educator and high school principal who has done excellent work with indigenous youth, he has always been a man to toe the Labor Party line as a matter of honour. And because of that, Scott cannot see that his party’s leadership in Brisbane is now in the hands of dishonourable and clearly corrupt people. Yet Scott hasn’t seen that, under these crystal clear circumstances, he does not owe that leadership unswerving loyalty that goes against the interests of those who elected him. He continues with the script handed to him in George Street … and he’s being called out for it. It could also be argued that maybe he did speak up on our behalf, but was silenced with the not inconsiderable perk of being named Deputy Speaker after less than four years in the job.

It is sad but true that in light of all this, Scott Stewart really will have to consider his family in his decisions about the future, because there is no way he will be able to turn around his sub-par performance within the next year … and is likely to cop even more flak in the media for that continuing failure. And blubbing about it will not help keep him in his plush position.

Why TEL Should Be Run Out Of Town – Literally.

Included in The Magpie’s info from that Maggie Island meeting was another snippet from Scott Stewart, and coming from a member of the incumbent government, it’s surely true.

He told the meeting that the Premier Palaszczuk is fed up with Townsville Enterprise – apparently agreeing with The ‘Pie’s long standing view of that this featherbedded lot are the Dudley Do Nothings – and will not directing any more money their way. That would presumably affect tourism budgets, but that will be of little import … until we have a product to sell, more promotion would be counter-productive anyway. One wonders what our mayor – the deputy chair of the Dudleys – thinks of that dainty stiletto between the ribs from her erstwhile pal.

But that news offers The ‘Pie an opportunity to make a suggestion. Would that $750,000 annual stipend with which the TCC props up this busted arse outfit and Little Patty O’Callaghan’s shoe rack, be more sensibly spent on paying a suitably qualified lobbyist to be based in Brisbane, with easy and economical access to Canberra when needs be. An experienced person who haunts the halls of parliament house and the offices of corporate power, and cultivates the ear of those who can actually get something done for this town. And not stooping to the embarrassing perpetual begging bowl posture of TEL, an organization that remains without real expertise and spends most of its time in Townsville talking amongst themselves and not the people who are pivotal to any progress – in Brisbane and Canberra. By all means, allow TEL to remain the member-based organization it boasts of being, but without the wasted ratepayer contribution for which this city gets EXACTLY ZERO VALUE. It would be a salutary reality check for the small businesses so ill served by these grifters.

TEL’s circular gab fests and breakfasts with a slick but empty-headed Hot Lips O’Callaghan, who appears in her own words to have absolutely no real management skills at all, have just got to stop.

A budget of maybe a million for a Townsville office in Brisbane, staffed by a small contingent of well connected professionals who report to, and get instructions from, our council, would the only sensible way to reform this situation.

What The Hell Were They Thinking

What was JT’s management thinking? The ‘Pie did a double take when he saw this in the Astonisher.

Jonathon ThurstonScreen Shot 2019-10-09 at 9.08.19 am

This stilted, English upper class pose is so unlike the Jonathan Thurston brand we all know and, yes, we all love, always with a cheeky cheery grin, even when doing his wonderful work with kids. In fact, it so out of character, it may well start viral memes of ‘Who farted?’ or ‘Who’s holding an ice cube between his buttocks without laughing for a bet’?

Uh oh, hang on a minute. Recently, the Astonisher ran a story quoting some academic pointy head that Jenny Hill could be successfully challenged by a high profile sporting personality.

Screen Shot 2019-10-03 at 10.46.29 am

Don’t tell us that this is the start of a move to get JT to run for mayor? That would be an unmitigated disaster, and a triumph for the Fallacy of Transferred Authority … JT was a brilliant footballer, a social stalwart and likeable fella, but has not demonstrated a single suggestion of competence, knowledge or even interest in politics. Should such a challenge eventuate and succeed, we would have to wonder and be very wary of the unelected urgers behind the scenes advising him.  We’ve already had three years of that scenario. Christ, does it never end for us?

But if this turns out to just be a misconceived photograph, the ad people responsible for this need to be advised of the error of mucking around with our icon, advice that should involve a forceful footwear connection in the area of their own ice cube.

Nous Nixed? Our Walker Street Hermit Kingdom Rumbles On 

From The TCC Transparency Files

One of our fine citizen journalists spotted something peculiar this week and asks:

Has TCC had another (unannounced) restructuring?
Those ex-TCC employees who got Nous’ed and restructured/made redundant etc, were told that the new structure would save approximately $5M, reduce the burden of middle management and change the structure of the organisation from 5 Divisions to 3, as per the attached extract from the Nous report. This structure was adopted by a formal resolution of Council in October 2016.


But have they now reverted back to 5 divisions? I recently came across another council document, released without much publicity in September 2019, (‘Corporate Governance Framework’). The diagram on page 12 of this document sure looks a lot like there are now 5 divisions reporting to the CEO. 

TCC chart 2

When was this structure adopted?

Excellent question, but a better one is why? Is this an admission that they fuct it up in the first place?

And that verb ‘nous’ed’? Brilliant, love it!

This council just reeks.

Oh, No, You’re Not Getting Away With That One, Missy ...

Boy-oh-boy, you can’t fault the Daily Astonisher iditor Jenna Cairney for chutzpah … she’s got more front than Clive Palmer doing a belly flop.

Screen Shot 2019-10-07 at 10.18.56 pm

She has the gall to prissily ask in another addled iditorial ‘ … one has to wonder what has the council been doing for the two years the stadium has been under construction?’

The council, Jenna, the bloody council? A much more pertinent question for the Townsville community is where the hell has the Townsville Bulletin been, and NOT JUST during the construction phase but during the prior bulldozing manipulations to foist this white elephant

jenna Cairneyon both Townsville and the state taxpayers.

Unalloyed and totally unexamined praise and stifled debate is EXACTLY where this limping orthopaedic boot of a Murdoch rag has been at the crucial time when the community needed to talk about the issue.

Jenna, to the greatest degree, you and the Holt Street counting house wanted to be a player, rather than a responsible observer leading community debate, so you consistently filled your pages with bum kissing the likes of Lancini and Mayor Mullet in the cowardly interests of trying to back a winning horse for your advertising department. Well, dearie, you and your immediate predecessors have backed Fine Cotton, a donkey painted up to look like a winner. And, like the Fine Cotton amateur debacle, history will hoot at your efforts, too.

And now, as ever a day late and a dollar short, you trot out sanctimonious drivel about the council not doing anything about the parlous state of Palmer Street (and the CBD). The truth (it’s under ‘t’ in the dictionary, look it up) is there’s not much they could’ve done or can do in actual legal by-laws, which aren’t the doddle to enact you stupidly suggest they are.


Regarding Palmer Street

Palmer Street’s undoubted woes cannot be sheeted home to the TCC or any other factor bar the bleedin’ obvious one:

It’s fading away in large part because households are under financial stress, and aren’t spending like they used to. Total disposal income in Townsville is way below what it was during the city’s last boom (2011), add to which is high household debt (and probably a relatively large proportion of negative equity), and you’ve got a situation where people just aren’t spending on restaurants. The editorial also paints an unrealistically rosy picture of Palmer St’s past, suggesting that until recent times it was a restaurant and boutique Mecca. Nonsense. Restaurants never really went past the first roundabout, and while a little more vibrant than today’s sad case, was because households in the past were living it up on credit-fuelled good times.

The ‘Pie’s Impossible Dream: Just One Week Of A Bulletin Without Adjectives

They really know how to insult us, does the paper that’s all for us. This from an angry swooping Magpie in comments during the week.

The Magpie

If there is ever an award for shoddy journalism, a contender of the past week would be the appallingly bad reporting of the death of a five year old child, accidentally run over a by a car.

Screen Shot 2019-10-10 at 10.52.44 am
Any child’s death is a tragedy in any community, but a reporter’s job is to present the facts alone to let each reader react appropriately. Surely there should be some dignity for the family in the most terrible hours of their lives. And it is certainly no place for florid pathos such as we have been treated to in this instance.

The Magpie does not wish to pillory the reporters, but rather the penny-pinching lack of oversight and restraint which once would have been brought to such stories by an experienced sub editor. The use of language used in this instance is sub-Facebook level, with its juvenile adjectival overkill such as ‘tragically killed’ – as versus what? – and ‘sadly died’ (not ‘joyfully’?) and the statement that the police were ‘meticulously investigating’ the circumstances, as versus what, their usual slap-dash efforts? An earlier report by the same writers said the driver (who had been turning out of a parking lot at the time of the accident) ‘did not flee the scene’. That is just plain silly, and also hints at the possibility of fault. And the lack of sensitivity by quoting the local Imam’s description of an hysterical, grieving mother’s frenzied words in the face of the loss of her child is also a question that a good sub would have at least pondered.
The Bulletin clearly believes that readers need it to provide sign posts to register their emotions, which in truth will vary from ‘deeply affected’ to ‘noted in passing’, so iditor Jenna Cairney backed up the paper’s usual grasp of unreality by stating that the boy’s death ‘has broken Townsville’s collective heart’. What??? And a lot of other rambling tosh pandering to what she fancies is city-wide recreational grief. No wonder reporters don’t have any sense of proportion at the Bulletin, when they follow the example of the editor herself so lacking any sense of proportion.

Other Matters Noted In Passing

A mayoral honour worth noting.

Screen Shot 2019-10-09 at 8.46.48 am

Nice thought. Now there’s an idea, we could organize a similar honour for own mayor. The ‘Pie thinks he has the ideal one … Pinkporki Hillasauraus, flocks of which have been constantly seen hovering over Townsville ever since Jenny became mayor.

Pink pigs

But campaign pigs fly better to music, so a reader has composed a rousing anthem for Jenny’s troops to lustily sing as we head towards Marchageddon.

15 approved
email hidden; JavaScript is required
Submitted on 2019/10/07 at 10:37 pmWhen Jenny comes marching home again, hurrah, hurrah,
When Jenny comes marching home again, hurrah, hurrah,
There’s many a man wakes up at night
And thinks to himself in a terrible fright,
Is his name in the book or will he be all right?
When Jenny comes marching home.
When Jenny first sat in the mayor’s chair, hurrah, hurrah,
When Jenny first sat in the mayor’s chair, hurrah, hurrah,
When Jenny first tried out the mayor’s chair,
She never seemed to really care
But her eyes and her ears were everywhere
Now Jenny’s come marching home.
Now when Jenny finds all the money’s spent, hurrah, hurrah
Jenny looks after her friends even if they’re bent, hurrah, hurrah
When Jenny finds all the money’s spent,
She’ll wonder where all the people went,
It’s a hell of a life for a president
When the people go marching home.

And from Cairns …
PythonScreen Shot 2019-10-07 at 11.17.55 amIdentity mystery solved, easy. It’s Monty, of course. The giveaway is that the legless one-armed bloke holding the skin is clearly the never-say-die Black Knight from Monty Python  and The Holy Grail.

And still on the wildlife theme, allow The ‘Pie to introduce the latest non-playing member of the Rowes Bay Golf Club

Screen Shot 2019-10-08 at 8.15.08 pm

… a two-metre freshie has taken up residence. Members aren‘t fussed at all, some of them are even a bit chuffed, although there seems to be an increase in unretrieved water balls. Like his kind, this little fella is very shy and won’t always be little … general consensus is that when he starts taking pelicans or a straggling veteran on a Tuesday, his tenure might be reviewed.

The Magpie’s Greased Glove Award Of The Week

Des Houghton

Courier Mail scribbler-at-large Des Haughton gets this week’s Wanker of the Week gong.

“Our impromptu lunch included a beef dish described as a Westholme oyster blade with a marble score of seven from AAco ($26). Westholme is one of the Australian Agricultural Company’s leading export brands. AAco doesn’t says so but I’m guessing it’s from a grass fed wagyu-cross steer finished on grain in a feedlot. It was the glorious taste of Queensland, the herbaceous Mitchell grass flavours followed by a riff of juicy, buttery, burnt caramel beefiness. Fermented chilli, morel and black garlic added to the wow factor.’

Des Houghton Restaurant Review of the Sirromet Winery restaurant  Lurleen’s at Mt Cotton.

It was the distinct back notes of herbaceous bullshit that added a jolly note to the eighth glass of Sirromet  nebbiolo. Des described this wine as ‘the revered Italian variety’ possibly because it’s release price tag of $55 per bottle will make many a punter exclaim ‘Jesus wept’ … and you don’t get much more revered than that. Des hasn’t always been a wanker, but it appears after all these years, he is sinking into peaceful foodie wankerdom, now that the traditional meaning is … well, getting beyond his grasp.

Literary Corner

No, don’t run away,  really, come back here, really, it won’t take a sec.

The ‘Pie has just finished reading Harper Lee’s Go Set A Watchman, a continuation of her wonderful To Kill A Mockingbird. While the book itself is a bit of a disappointment, a bit of a jumble really and was clearly not edited or revised before her death (it remained untouched from when it was written in the 1950s to when it was released three years ago), there are some typically great Harper Lee lines in it. The Magpie was bowled over by this one.

Prejudice, a dirty word, and faith, a clean one, have something in common: they both start where reason ends’.

Seems a suitable sentiment as opposing sides take their political positions in the coming election year.

Especially In Trumpsylvania

Now its come to this, and that could well be the end of it, finally … Donald Trump, by his unilateral decision against all advice, is now an international murderer by proxy. Even the desensitised American public have been jolted to senses by their President’s betrayal of a trusted ally, an act that will have repercussions throughout all alliances with the USA until trust is restored. But there’ll be massive chaos before that happens.

20191009edsuc-a Thank you Kurds 100719kurdsr sbr101019dapr Screen Shot 2019-10-12 at 10.17.05 am lk100919dapr 20_230674_1 20191006edbbc-a_1 Tom Toles Editorial Cartoon - tt_c_c191009.tif wpnan191007 sk101019dapr 23_230563 2_40 Tom Toles Editorial Cartoon - tt_c_c191002.tif exposed_color Bruce Plante Cartoon: Rudy, Rudy, Rudy 20191005edhan-a 238_230494 stg100719_color cb100519dapr

And Finally, An Awe-Inspiring Video Of American Technology Protecting Israel

We’ve all heard of the Iron Dome strategy Israel has deployed to defend against aerial rocket and aircraft attacks, but to actually see what that means in practical terms, watch this mesmerizing video. (it’s the one at the top). This is said to be a real rocket attack, possibly from Lebanese territory, fended off spectacularly by the defence system manufactured by the American arms company Raytheon. This is said to be a real rocket attack … the main firing turrets are situated behind the came, but the little R2-D2 presence in the foreground does its bit at about 2 minutes, when one of the rockets gets through.


Another week down as we march on towards next March. Watch comments – put them on automatic notification if you like – lots of good (and some iffy) information coming through all the time. Any support with a donation will be of great assistance to maintain your blog.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

    Trump won’t back the Kurds because they weren’t at Normandy … wait until he hears what Germany was doing!

  2. Mike Douglas says:

    Another great blog pie highlighting our financially hapless Mayor Mullet who even with $5 mil a year in savings from 600 jobs slashed can’t reduce the highest rates in Queensland to many household owners who have seen their house / unit values drop 20%+ . T.C.C. cant even seem to reduce the Councils $370 mil debt being in the top two heavily geared Councils in Qld . Word on the street is that Cowboys 2020 season ticket sales are poor ( anyone got any information on Corporate box sales ?) and again 16 weeks out from opening T.C.C . havnt disclosed parking details . I don’t want to sound like a wet blanket but Councils $85,447 Community Grant to Stable on the Strand ?, not enough support or sponsorship in the Community ?. With all the $ Council and Scott Stewart throwing around I hope the families effected by the floods Christmas can be a bit brighter and they havnt fallen thru the cracks .

  3. City dweller says:

    Ok so scott Stewart is upset at the backlash from this story in the paper. I’ve read it now and am I the only one who seen that not only has he spent 200k to refit but the rent is 100k a year. WTF!! If he’s so upset by the comments then why is he on front page, and inside story pic, smiling his arse off? I think hypocrisy comes to mind. Maybe he’s trying look after the elites here in the city too Just like I asked last week. Who owns the building with that much rent being charged? Yes I agree with the family shouldn’t be targeted but if you are going to be in public life he’s not the only person in history who’s family had things said about them. His reputation is gone because of his choices.

    • The Magpie says:

      What’s happened elsewhere in history doesn’t justify or make it acceptable, then or now. Silly statement, which is a shame in the middle of an otherwise realistic view.

    • I’ll be plucked says:

      Pie, re Private Cupcake ( ‘member’ for Townsville) – If he decides not to run, he’s out; if he runs, he should be soundly beaten – he’s out. As you point out there is nothing he, or the other two ‘state members’ can do to save themselves. They’ve all had ample time (it will be 6 years come the election) and failed miserably.

      A further thought:
      It appears, from your column, that Private Cupcake has raised the family effect issue at an ALP turnout. I have not read, seen or heard any remarks being made on this blog or in any other medium about his family, ever………

      • The Magpie says:

        The Magpie’s policy on that i crystal clear … and that is not to say that some knuckle draggers haven’t tried. And that is a general rule that for most of the media, but note today that the Courier (I think) has a story about Baden Clay’s brother who is a climate activist in Canada – they use his fraternal connection to tempt readers with a story that would not see the light of day otherwise. But just as an aside, family members are fair game if they are actively involved in a public issue cf the Trump brats.

        • I’ll be plucked says:

          Pie, Private Cupcake needs to put this ‘card’ back in the deck – he should never have played it and once again shows how inept he is as a politician!

    • NQGal says:

      In partial defence of Scott Stewart, he isn’t the only pollie getting a new office fit out done. There has been at least one a month listed on the QTender website over the last 6 months.

      • The Magpie says:

        Sorry, Gal that’s not any defence at all because the problem was the inept and dumb way he handled it – especially the Brisbane crowd getting the job. Sure he had no control over that or even the fact that he was getting a new office, but anyone with half a political smart in their locker would say he had complained about it, lobbied for locals (which he should’ve done anyway) but bureaucracy had made the decision … and sorry, there can be absolutely no doubt he either outright lied about not knowing the cost or he is a completely uninterested dolt. And he’ll pay for it, as he should.

        The other thing is that the Bulletin story was clearly signalled and arranged, photograph and interview, which for any competent politician would’ve sounded cautionary alarm bells and demanded some well rehearsed (and in fact in this case, totally justified) lines … is he such a complete fuckwit that he didn’t anticipate the questions and the likely thrust of the article.

        Bottom line … we deserve a more engaged and aware person to represent our interests in George Street. And that goes in spades for O’Rort and Harpic, too.

        • NQ Gal says:

          I was merely pointing out that he isn’t the only pollie to get either a new office or an office revamp this year. The average cost of these fit outs (according to the Awarded Contracts section of the QTenders website) is over $200k, with one being almost $300k.

          I wan’t excusing that he apparently didn’t know how much it cost, or that he didn;t know a local contractor wasn’t appointed to carry out the work, or the eye watering rent that is being paid. His well paid office staff should have had all this information available to him, so that he didn’t look like a complete eejit when the Astonisher came a knocking.

          • The Magpie says:

            Ummm, exactly correct, m’dear, but you did say ‘partial defense of, which in this case is a bit like being a little bit pregnant or slightly dead. More a Magpie nitpick over semantics. Your heart, and hopefully all your other no doubt delightful bits’n’pieces, is in the right place.

  4. One legged tap dancer says:

    For a lazy $1500 the Cowboys will print your name on a tile as part of a “Captain’s Walk” on the way to Lancini Stadium.
    Wonder how many fans will actually stop to read the names on the way to the footy. My guess is none, apart from the donors who want to check if their names are actually there.
    Of course all money raised will go to the Cowboys for their training ground, sorry, Centre of Excellence (for everyone to use, so they say).
    What’s next – buy a blade of grass or, better still, sponsor the relocation of a homeless Dean Park dweller?
    The Cowboys contribution to their new stadium, which has been designed specifically to keep out those pesky Aussie Rules and cricket fans, is reported to be $10 million, which from what I’ve heard is prepaid rent so not an actual donation towards construction costs. Happy to be corrected if that’s not the case, so perhaps Lozza can clarify.
    Could it be that Lancini’s planned departure next year for greener pastures down south, reported recently in The Astonisher (so it must be right, right?) is perfectly timed for him to bask in the glory of the stadium opening, then disappear before the shit starts hitting the fan over lack of stadium revenue?
    Just asking.

    • Hee-Haw says:

      Not only is the $10 mill prepaid rent for the next 10 years it was provided to the Cowboys by the NRL in an interest free loan.

    • Alahazbin says:

      OLTD. Lozza is building a mansion at Maleny.
      Have a photo but can’t seem to copy to here.

      • The Magpie says:

        As has been mentioned in the blog a couple of weeks back. Word is that the overall ‘compound’ will include four separate luxury guests units.

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        Yes it appears Lozza will join the growing ranks of those who simply have a place in Townsville whilst residing elsewhere, I personally know many in the same boat, those with business $$ here but don’t want to actually live here themselves anymore, a sad reflection of what our town has become under the current crop of no hoping failures. One of my doctors actually lives in Perth these days and does one week here and two weeks back home in Perth, stays in their unit on the Marina and AirBnb it whilst not using it, still waiting for the market to recover and avoid the $300k loss v the purchase price 10 years ago, the sort of story you won’t find printed in the SuccessNQ magazine.

        • The Magpie says:

          Don’t forget to include our favourite legal foghorn and price gouger, Big Bazza Taylor, who lives in a $10million waterfront pad in Noosa nowadays.He occasionally stays at his Victoria Street retro motel designed pile while he waits for some mug to fork over too much money for it. A few years ago, ever hopeful Baz was asking $8million for it … all the mugs were on holiday apparently so there it sits.

  5. Cantankerous but happy says:

    I see a new taxi boom gate going in at the airport, this one on the entrance to the left as you drive in, has numnskull Gill worked out a way to offset Qantas telling him to jam the passenger levy up his arse, are we about to see a taxi fee for passengers being dropped off along with the existing fee for Taxi pick ups?

    • Fish Gill says:

      Gill is desperate to rake in extra breadcrumbs for his masters at QAL. Withnthe airlines screwing the airport down on fees and charges, old mate is looking at any avenue for some extra cents. Maid Marion on the Gold Coast needs the money for more shoes and clothing. Foolish airport managed by a bunch of Jenny Hill clones – incompetent, idiotic, useless and well past their use by date.

      • L Berry says:

        As of a month or so ago, the cabbies sent Gill a “please explain”, asking him to account for the $7M taken by way of taxi airport charges and noting his failure to make good to use those funds on promised upgrades for the protection and comfort of drivers and the public. If my cabbie was any indication of the general mood, Gill won’t be getting a Christmas card from them.

  6. A Thurst For Money says:

    Thurston loves being hero worshipped but the almighty dollar comes first. Now that the Wilds protege and disciple at Scaretrans has been punted as CEO, the new CEO has made around 10 to 11 aircraft engineers redundant. Well done JT, your company is really supporting the community. NOT. And TBH, the monobrow footballer is as intelligent as a field goal post. That photograph where he is posing like Trump at MAGA t-shirt signing event is ridiculous. Stick to football JT.

  7. Achilles says:

    Pie, sorry to be pedantic, but the black knight is in “MP and the Holy Grail”. But your comparison with his appearance is spot on. He`s in that pose coz it makes the snake look bigger.

  8. The Magpie says:

    American arch-conservatives go even more ape shit … over a children’s book parody.

    A political parody of a children’s book is receiving complaints from Trump supporters and threats to boycott any store that sells it.
    The book, If You Give a Pig the White House: A Parody was published on 1st of Oct and hardcopies are sold in the US at Barnes & Noble, Amazon and Walmart for around $15.75.
    The controversial book is a parody of the beloved American children’s book If You Give a Pig a Pancake.
    Here is the overview:
    “A coiffed and blustery pig has shoved his way into the White House! A cleverly worded and illustrated picture book, this is the adult parody of the beloved children’s cautionary tale, If You Give a Pig a Pancake.
    Watch in dismay as the presidential pig gets into trouble, binges on too much Fox News and fast food, and cavalierly threatens national security. If You Give a Pig the White House both lovingly caricatures the original children’s book and shows just what can happen when a greedy anti-hero tracks his hooves all over America.”

  9. Insider says:

    Pie, observations after a weekend in the CBD and on Magnetic Island: the nightclub strip in Flinders St is well and truly dead, but the Ville was going off, people everywhere in the restaurants and casino and parking lots full. Jam restaurant in Palmer St was doing fantastic business (well deserved). The hard rubbish lying around Maggie Island waiting for collection looks totally revolting; terrible look on a tourist island, well done Council (not!)

    • No More Dredging says:

      The hard rubbish has been “lying around” on Maggie Island for about a week or 10 days and the pickup started today. Not sure if there could have been a better or worse time. I think we (ratepayers) asked Council to do a hard waste pickup before the cyclone season started – this looks like it. What’s the problem?

      • The Magpie says:

        The problem is that yes, a pre-cyclone hard waste pick-up is a defensible and desirable council activity … what is not is a bungled year round clean up of stuff that we materialistic grubs don’t want anymore … take your own superseded shit to the dump (but yes, bring back free dump vouchers, a sensible half way meet).

        • I’ll be plucked says:

          Give us our dump vouchers back Mullet, you plucker!

        • Dave of Kelso says:

          Well said Dear ‘Pie.

          We are responsible for our own personal administration, not the wider ratepayer, or taxpayer, via the Labor/Greens social engineers. The role of government, at grass roots level, is to facilitate the citizen, not to neuter the individual, and impose what is “good” for them, the result, sooner or later being, as they say, “a fuckup.”

          • No More Dredging says:

            Dave, a helluva lot of people have no means to carry their worn out crap (or however you want to describe the stuff piled on the street – we can all see exactly what it is) to the dump – even if they have ‘vouchers’. There are thousands of age pensioners already eligible for 85% rate reductions who also ask, nicely, for some means to transport their shit. They aren’t the only ones asking. The Council provides this means and most ratepayers agree with the ‘Pie that “yes, a pre-cyclone hard waste pick-up is a defensible and desirable council activity”. Maybe the pickup has been badly managed in some places and maybe there are dodgy trucks or lazy workers or deadshit residents but the basic premise is, surely, OK?

            I responded to Insider’s poke about the current situation on Maggie Island which implied that the Council should organise to have the pickup at some other time or place that won’t be a “totally revolting; terrible look on a tourist island”. FFS. We ask for something, Council delivers pretty much what we asked for and we (or some distant stickybeak) then says it’s “a fuckup”. What exactly is your problem?

          • Grumpy says:

            Dredges, this was done to death on this blog years ago. The general consensus then was: 1. If you had it delivered to your house, you can take it to the dump yourself (the “poor pensioner” argument does not fly); and 2. The line about removing potential air-borne debris in cyclones is just plain bullshit. The whole concept is a gimmicky, populist policy that simply does not make sense.

          • No More Dredging says:

            We can all make up our own ‘consensus’. The Council’s free hard waste pickup is very popular whether you like it or not. Something for nothing – just the thing to get re-elected. Next we’ll be getting free shower roses with our rates payment, oh wait . . .

  10. Critical says:

    Let’s hope that Mullet , her useless councillors and others attending the Local Government Association of QLD Conference in Cairns on ratepayers money learn something, highly doubtful though and that they take note on how a progressive moving ahead city looks, clean tidy parks, gardens, median strips and streets with no potholes, well maintained infrastructure, new 5 star hotels and hopefully a cruiseliner or two arrive at the Cairns Cruise Terminal diagonally across from the soon to be refurbished and expanded Cairns Convention Centre. Hopefully Mayor Bob Manning will take Mullet on a tour of the new Cairns Performing Arts Centre, the Munro Martin Parklands and amphitheatre and the Cairns Arts Precinct which is under development and drive by the Cairns Centre for Contemporary Arts ( soon the be reopened after an expansion and refurbishment and the Cairns Acquarium. Uhmm, I’m certain that I’ve missed a few things but Mullet will probably be frothing at the mouth after seeing just these few facilities in Cairns.


    • No More Dredging says:

      Critical, I doubt that our mayor will necessarily be impressed by a dick-swinging workshop, especially when she can push back with the multi millions spent in our town on the stadium, the pipeline duplication and whatever squillions on Defence – all without a government local member. Anyway, much more likely to be paying attention to that part of the program mentioned in your link –

      “Life – post Belcarra
      You’ll hear from a panel including the Electoral Commissioner – Pat Vidgen, the Queensland Integrity Commissioner Dr Nikola Stepanov and Independent Assesor [sic] Kathleen Florian on what we can expect after the full implementation of Belcarra reform.”

      Now that would be interesting.

      • The Magpie says:

        Wouldn’t it be nice if the end summary was just two words ‘transparent honesty’.

      • Water pipe my arse says:

        Yay we have a new pipeline supplied by our jenny. Too bad we can’t treat anymore then 120 kiloliters a day. Should be looking at the available drinking water not how much we can.pump. wonder how Jenny’s going to explain that little bit of secrecy. Please NMD you keep forgetting that truth part again.

        • The Wulguru Wonder says:

          I think you may have muddled up your mega (ML- one million litres) and kilo (kL – one thousand litres) prefixes.

          TCC’s four water treatment plants have a production capacity of around 275 ML per day. (I think about 220-ish ML of that is from Douglas Water Treatment Plant). For the 2017/18 financial year the total volume of water treated and supplied into the water supply system was 37,536 ML. The maximum daily demand in that period was 164 ML.

          • The Magpie says:

            Probably missing something here but 164 x 365 = 59860 . … does that mean we’re short about 22ML overall?

        • No More Dredging says:

          Water pipe, “Jenny” didn’t supply the pipeline duplication – she wrangled (with a great deal of assistance from others) the state and federal governments to put up about half a billion that ratepayers will not have to pay – or not directly anyway. Somewhere down the track ratepayers will probably build a new water treatment plant out at Toonpan (or wherever) to supply half the town and no doubt the mayor of the day will go cap-in-hand to the same money source and reap the political benefit of a successful campaign – just as the mayor of Cairns is currently doing. It’s what local government has always done.

        • The (Mostly) Civil Engineer says:

          Perhaps saying “we HAVE a new water pipe” might be a little optimistic.

          Last time I bothered digging through the spin and turds rolled in glitter it seems the project team had about half of the actual pipe in the ground (about 17 of the 34 or so kilometres) after 12 months of relatively solid construction effort. Looks like it has been the easier to manage areas in council controlled lands and road corridors which leaves about the same length to be delivered in 5 months over a wet season through watercourse crossings and private land.

          Presumably Inga Davis is working out how to blame someone or something else for what looks ominously like non-delivery of the project.

          • Grumpy says:

            Have they got their acquisition problems sorted?

          • The Magpie says:

            Maybe but who’d know, the Astonisher has gone all quiet on asking the tough questions we want answered.

          • No More Dredging says:

            Hey Civil, hasn’t the whole project timetable been suspended now that Stage2, taking the pump and extended pipeline back to Clare Weir, been added in to be built concurrently? Now that there’s no pressing ‘crisis’ and plenty of land ownership and technical questions to resolve along both routes, it probably makes sense to take all the time necessary. Is anyone complaining? Surely the Commonwealth and state governments have bean counters looking after their interests? The mayor will just pick up bits of kudos lying around as and when she can use it. Cheap really, why wouldn’t she?

    • LGAPoo says:

      These conferences are a crock of shit. Filled with pontificating Bureacrats and Government employees dressed in black tie gala clothing receiving coveted awards for the most irrelevant and idiotic bullshit known to man. Mayors, Council CEO and Managers under shining lights receiving little plaques for some irrelevant shite that has done nothing for the community, but has tickled the recipients ego. So many sociopaths, sycophants and psychopaths in the one room, it’s frightening!!! Yes, more taxpayer and ratepayer monies pissed away on a bunch of egotistical trough dwellers. It’s a disgrace.
      P.S Maybe next year their membership pin will be engraved with ‘Belcarra or Bust’!

  11. I’ll be plucked says:

    Trending online Nine News: ‘Giant snake on the loose in Sydney’………it has been further suggested that the snake may belong to, or even be a member of the NSW Labor Party………

  12. I’ll be plucked says:

    ABC radio news reporting 30 break and enters and 28 car thefts over the weekend, with no one yet charged……….this should lift our status into the top 5 of places where you are likely to lose a car to theft!

  13. The Magpie says:

    Want to know why we’ll never get a balanced argument on anything from the Astonisher (as if you had to be told)? There was not a single peep of debate in the Townsville Bulletin about the passenger tax rort that Townsville Airport tried to foist on the travelling public, a swindle that Qantas stopped dead. And why would the paper not stand up and debate the ethics and financial impropriety of such a deal? Here’s your answer … a $30,000 four page wrap-around about the ‘wonderful’ things the airport does. Rest assured, we’re being softened up for another run at Gill robbing us.

    Slogan should change to ‘We’re All For Us.’

    • Qld Arsewipes Limited says:

      Indeed, Mr Gill and his Masters at QAL (Queensland Arsewipes Limited) are definitely lining us up for some sort of gouging. With Bumboy Joyce and Paul ‘crybaby’ Scurrah placing pressure on airports to cut fees and charges that their airlines are milked from (in other words to sacrifice profits) the only other options the airport has, apart from increasing passenger numbers, is to gouge the fare paying public, car park users, taxi’s, buses, airport tenants, anyone! For QAL to part with $30k it can only mean bad news for the rest of us. The airport is so tight thT I’m surprised they haven’t turned off the lights and put candles in place.

      • Alahazbin says:

        Good photo in today’s Astonisher. Says it all really.
        Always leaning on some poor bastard.

        • The Magpie says:

          The whole story is a massive con,, skewed by the paper to ‘rehabilitate’ the airport and Gill in the eyes of the public over the failed ‘passenger tax’ rort aimed solely at benefitting QAL’s bottom line of asset value. And watch out for that campaign because you can bet there’s another swindle coming somewhere down the line from the chairman of our peak tourism and industrial body TEL. This article wants us to believe that the airport are the good guys spending their own money to make Townsville airport better for the city … which these works will, maybe, do (although traffic congestion is a more likely outcome, allowing some extra charges to be put in place). But Gill and QAL are NOT spending a single cent of QAL money on this (and in fact neither the should, this is TCC and/or DMR territory), but the Astonisher would have believe – by putting the major facts at the end of the story – that following up the paid wrap-round last weekend, the airport management is a boon to this city. THE SIMPLE FACT IS THAT ALL THE MONEY FOR THIS CONTRACT, COMING FROM TWO SEPARATE GOVERNMENT SOURCES, IS TAXPAYER DOLLARS … SO IT YOU DEAR TAXPAYER FOOTING THE BILL.

          And perhaps that’s as it should be … the con here is trying to give credit where it definitely is not due.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      I thought the same thing, just another example of this toxic festering situation Townsville has found itself in, how on earth will the Astonisher ever runa story of how this worthless business is one of the key reasons this town is floundering at the moment, Townsville airport and its failure to produce any sort of options for the travelling public of Townsville is one of the very reasons people pack up and leave, especially those who are retiring and looking to enjoy a bit of travel, Townsville is not the place to be.

  14. The Magpie says:

    This is NEWS? The loss of meat bloody pies at a servo? Do me a favour.

    • The Wulguru Wonder says:

      Oh no!!!! How will this impact on the Astonisher ‘Townsville’s Best Pie’ campaign for 2020?

      A rhetorical question in any case: everyone knows the best Pie in the ‘Ville is found on this blog….

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      Hmm? In the shallow journalistic pool in which the Astonisher occupies, the pie (meat pie that is) story probably took more effort and tenacity than the airport promo.

      Further, for the dedicated grey nomad, the discovery of a pie shop of the finest order is a reason to return many times. We do. (On the northern exit from Ingham on the left.) As such, in a shallow journalistic pool, the loss or relocation of said pie shop is serious stuff.

      On par with Gill the Dill obstructing the access to the QANTAS Club entrance. Riveting news about emotional stress for the travelling public.

      The Astonisher: bringing the stories that matter.

    • The (Mostly) Civil Engineer says:

      With this statement, you have shown yourself a culinary heathen Magpie.

      Beware “four and twenty black(and white) birds baked in a pie”.

    • Bentley says:

      If these are the pies, ‘Pie, from the Alligator Creek roadhouse, who make the best pies in Queensland, ‘Pie, it’s news alright. Please tell me it’s fake news.

      • Tropical says:

        Nope it is true Bentley.
        Caltex have decided they will run their roadhouses.
        When the lease expires in November thats it.

        • The Magpie says:

          Caltex don’t make pies? And if they do, so what? In fact, these sorts of stories take up valuable space that should be better devoted to How To Vote For The Cutest Baby, Townsville Top 10 Bathroom Tilers’ Bum Cracks, and Magnetic Island Gets A New Gelato Bar. (Two of these are true … give it time, and soon, all three will be.)

  15. Show me the money says:

    Question here on my rates bill about the so called hard rubbish collection and FREE green waste at dumps. I was under the impression that both were free as advertised. Since 2017 every property under a rates bill have been charged $30. If you look at the waste and recycling charge it has dropped ( sep 2017 $230, now $199 ) but there has been a wadte levey in place since. What is this waste levey for? A simple calculation on this, 80000 approx ratable properties at $30 Then multiply that by 5 ( how many times I can see I’ve been charged so far) and it’s 12 million.

    Of what I can gather from that is that our normal rubbish collection from wheelie bins has dropped considerably because it’s come from that part of the rates bill. Cant imagine fuel not going up in past 2yrs or wages and maintenance, if so how come we have always paid more for rubbish pick up when we could have been saving $30 every rates bill. Better then bullshit rates freeze. Now for that $30 charge. Where’s it going to? What is this levey for? The state government put a levey in place this financial year so it can’t be that because you pay that at the gate when you tip and still get charged the levy on rates. Where has that 12 million gone? Is this happening in other parts of my bill tjat i cant see?

  16. The Magpie says:

    Is the Bulletin ‘woke’ to something we are not, like the redrawn boundaries of our inner city? Or are they just not awake at all? The Astonisher’s distant headline writer appears to be re-defining the CBD, (C as in Central).

    They are talking about Castletown in Hyde Park. Oh, got it, they are talking about a shopping ‘centre’. They might get all prissy about it, but what did YOU think when you read the header?

    • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

      I thought “good to see something opening in Flinders Street” when I read the headline. On the other hand, at least they didn’t call Castletown a “mall”.

      • The Magpie says:

        Which it is. We’ve been culturally conquered in this area years ago.
        mall | môl |
        1 (also shopping mall) chiefly North American a large building or series of connected buildings containing a variety of retail stores and typically also restaurants.

    • Bin Chicken says:

      First thing I thought was who the hell is skechers and why the f*ck would the want to go near the CBD. I give it 2 years before they bail out of cattletown looking at their website they appear to target and younger families. The average shopper at cattletown is surely a old age pensioner judging by who I see on my weekly visits?!?

      • Kenny Kennett says:

        Hey Chicken guts, Sketchers are very good shoes and very popular in southern cities. I have 2 pairs and plan on expanding. Quality is the key.

  17. The Magpie says:

    Due recognition at last.

    scourge | skərj |
    1 historical a whip used as an instrument of punishment.
    2 a person or thing that causes great trouble or suffering:

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      +VOTE NOW: Townsville’s best shit stirring blogger.

      • The Magpie says:

        You mean there’s more than one? …. Oh, yes, maybe old mate Linda, but let us not mock the afflicted and mention Conspiracy Pete Newey, it will only hasten his descent into babbling dementia.

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        Spot on!

        In the next few months the TCC Honours and Awards Committee (or thejunior staffer in a back office) will call for nominations for local Australia Day awards.

        I encourage all readers to nominate The Tsv ‘Pie for services to journalistic integrity and local government accountability, or similar.

        After receiving scores, nay, hundreds of nominations, the junior staffer in the back office will have no option, but to approve the nomination.

        The Townsville Magpie: Citizen of the Year.

        • The Magpie says:

          Christ, hasn’t this town suffered enough? That would make The ‘Pie insufferable!!

          • Dave of Kelso says:

            And you would be unlikely to give us your street address etc so we can complete the nomination form, would you?


          • The Magpie says:

            The Magpie
            Branch Avenue (off Gumtree Street)
            Bushland Beach
            Post code … 0000

          • I’ll be plucked says:

            Pie, I thought you lived in Queens Gardens on a branch near the Council ‘workers’ hut, where coincidentally you could hear their ‘chatter’ about the TCC coal-face? Have you moved, or do you move around a bit??? :)

          • The Magpie says:

            Certainly move around a bit, view all sorts of folks … and just to prove it, The ‘Pie requests you draw the curtains before indulge in that disgusting personal habit that brings you such frequent temporary joy. (Of course, this is a reference to you drooling on the keyboard when writing a comment to The Nest.)

  18. The Magpie says:

    Well, well well …. now we know where Morrison got his idea for his Robodebt debacle from … his buddy, Donny Trump.

    • Non Aligned Worker says:

      I am sure its also picking up a lot of double dipping “zombie” scumbags double or triple dipping my taxes.
      Agreed that the innocent ones shouldn’t suffer but there is so much “easy money” out there.
      Big data to the rescue,

      • The Magpie says:

        Ahem … perhaps but what’s that old adage that it’s better that a dozen guilty go free than one innocent person be jailed. Sort of applies to Robodebt, which is a soulless way of dehumanising those genuine ones who are struggling and many of whom didn’t make the mistake in the first place … the government did.

        • Non Aligned Worker says:

          Pie , I agree but they have to start somewhere. Better than sitting on their hands and doing nothing.
          I don’t see any stories regarding ratios of how many double dippers have been caught Vs the innocents.

          • No More Dredging says:

            NAW, if they (Centrelink), “have to start somewhere”, perhaps that start could be in their own offices where they dole out the money seemingly without adequate checks and balances. But, far be it from me to tell the guvmint how to administer taxpayer monies. By the way, Centrelink does not employ its own people to chase these ‘robodebts’. They give out contracts to debt collectors who then acquire call centre staff from labour hire firms – often from the dole queue, poorly trained and paid a pittance to cold call targets supplied by Centrelink. Yes, it is a step up from killing unwanted thoroughbred horses but not a big one.

    • The Magpie says:

      And well deserved, too … underneath all the chatty bumf that Ando churns out is a whip sharp journo when he gets his teeth in to a truly good yarn. And a nice fella.

      Congrats, mate.

  19. Grumpy says:

    Well, well. What price fanciful claims for a GF in Townsville now?

    • The Magpie says:

      Actually, think they were floating the equally untenable idea of a SOO, not a GF. But we’ll end up getting the sheilas’ top game at some stage – a spectacle far better than some of the Cowboys weak efforts this year.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Indeed, it would appear Kate Jones has been spending too much time around Mayor Mullet, gullible people played like fools, why the fuck she thinks the NRL would bring a GF to Qld is anyone’s guess, she has been played like the amateur she is, merely a point of reference for the NRL to leverage a better outcome from the NSW govt where they always intended to stay.

      • The Magpie says:

        It’s the massive misplaced sense of entitlement that Queensland … and the media … have brought to this pie-in-the-sky (no relation) suggestion that is the most embarrassing.

    • City dweller says:

      Can you imagine the uproar of having a SOO here (Townsville) after seeing how the courier mail went off about not getting a grand final? There are at least 15-20 thousand sponsors seats at any game be it NSW or Queensland hosting it. Where will the rest sit. Traveling teams get seat allocation too, not many seats left after that. And will they all stay in the 2star Bowen rd accommodation or better yet with the parkies across the road. Maybe that’s why mayor wants them parkies gone so she can hand out blankets as they fly here on overpriced Qantas flights, whoops virgin. I would have thought the news paper for us would have uncovered the accommodation shortage and some of the above points in a clear unbiased opinion.

      • Qld Arsewipes Limited says:

        If you think flights are overpriced now, any sports final means the tickets are tripled by these parasitic airlines. They donitnover and over and over. Nothing gets done or said. The ACCC are a poor pissweak excuse for a regulator.

      • Critical says:

        I hope that Mullet took a look at and noted the standards set by the Crystalbrook hotels during her stay in Cairns earlier this week. Townsville isn’t going to attract tourists and visitors until it gets hotels that match the standards of these hotels and I doubt that her dream Hilton budget Doubletree will come anywhere near the standards of the likes of Riley and other hotels in this group.


  20. Achilles says:

    The Astonisher announces hundreds of catering jobs at the new stadium are up for grabs.
    Surely the catering staff from the toothbrush fairy stadium will fill most of them, ergo, plenty of jobs BUT not too many vacancies for a 14 days per annum job.

  21. Frequent flyer says:

    Don’t hold your breath waiting for the Hilton Double Tree budget hotel to be built. It’s on the back burner and from what I’ve heard, likely to stay there. So much for the impact of the new stadium.
    And if you believe the catering jobs story being flogged by the Astonisher then you probably have a pink flying elephant as a pet.

  22. Dutch Reverend says:

    What a fabulous expose’ by Caro Meldrum-Hanna on the treatment of horses from the racing industry on last night’s 7.30 Report. She a bit of a terrier. Wouldn’t it be great if she started sniffing around the TCC.

    • The Magpie says:

      Hard to imagine her going from racehorses to cart horses.

      • No More Dredging says:

        “Cart horses”? Aren’t they called pacers? Is there a knackery near Townsville (still) or do all our local racehorses now live out their lives in some seaside equestrian relaxation resort? Surely some local colourful racing identity knows?

        • The Magpie says:

          Of course there’s a knackery in Townsville. A building in Walker Street was converted four years ago, and all those magnificent white chargers racing around before the election winning post (they’re called ‘councillors) suddenly turned into dray horses and lost their balls … most of them are expected to be rendered down to glue next March.

  23. Mike Douglas says:

    Townsville City Council winning the PRIA ( Public Relations Institute Australia ) Crisis Management award . Is that because since the Mullet has been Mayor the Council has had so much practice in Crisis and PR spin ?.

  24. Cantankerous but happy says:

    Looks like most people have been ignoring Jamie Durie and the Mullet and using lots of water this year, can’t get exact numbers until they are released soon for the last quarter but people I know in there tell me consumption is very high, which isn’t such a bad thing, the lower the dam the less chance of flooding in the wet season, so use it all I say, makes a mockery of the water smart package though doesn’t it, another hair brain scheme of the Mullet.

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      TCC web site tells us we can sprinkle 3 days a week, 5pm – 8am, and I am! Grass soft and lush, suitable for tender feet of little grandchildren visiting from the higher latitudes .

      What is the alternative; environmental evaporation straight from the dam?

      • Non Aligned Worker says:

        I know it’s all about balance.
        Given the number of JCU academics surviving on the public teet the answer should be out there, evaporation vs watering. The number should be traceable and removed from emotive public perception. Can’t be that hard.?

    • No More Dredging says:

      Cranky, the Ross River dam is currently at 75%. In February this year when the downpour started the dam was at 60%. Dream on.

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        People, I have mentioned this before and I will remind you again.

        When the Ross River Dam was planned and designed it’s primary function was flood mitigation, secondary function, opportunity water supply. The Burdekin Falls Dan, also in the planning stages at about that time, was always to be Townsville’s primary water supply source.

        How do I know this? My uncle was a serving Townsville City Councillor at the time.

        Somewhere along the line, probably for crass political opportunism, the primary and secondary purposes of the RRD were reversed, water delivery infrastructure from the BFD neglected and the Feb 2019 flood that is now history should never have happened. Townsville Mayors from Pers Tucker onwards are in large part responsible.

        With Townsville’s continued growth, it is high time the RRD and the BFD are used as originally intended. Now there is an issue for the Assonisher to ignore!

        • No More Dredging says:

          Dave, as far as I can see from the record the RR dam was to be both for flood mitigation AND water supply. Hence the immediate connection of a pipeline to the brand new Douglas water treatment plant. The flood mitigation function didn’t really get going until about 2007 when the gates were installed. Until then, if the dam overflowed it overflowed – there was no means to control releases of water

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        My point exactly Tosser, if we get another rain event the flooding will be worse because the dam is higher, so we should use as much as we can and drop the dam to a safer level. The council should have a pre wet season campaign to encourage people to use water and drop the level down, as flaws in the dam design mean the operators don’t have the ability to drop the level if advised a rain event is another week or two away. So get in and use it I say, the kl you use today might be the kl that doesn’t flow under your front door in the wet season.

  25. The Magpie says:

    The latest instalment of the long-predicted stadium clusterfuck, which slowly unfolds bit by bit , contains a tantalising unexplained tidbit. Good on today’s Astonisher for exposing this ineptitude but in typical fashion, it includes a statement that requires explanation but we are left dangling. Or has The ‘Pie missed something? So over to you, citizen journalists, if you know the answer. This story ….

    … includes the unexplained line, with the added mystery of quote marks:
    ‘With the closest public car park at Dean Park likely to be “prohibited” during events, the only public space set aside for the stadium crowd is Reid Park, which caters to 900 cars.’
    Why would the adjacent Dean Park parking area be ‘prohibited’? Anyone seen anything, have looked but can’t find anything. Perhaps reporter Cas Garvey would care to enlighten us.
    PS Cas, if you had the services of a good sub editor, you would’ve been asked this question before publication.

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      I cannot provide a link or reference but it was my understanding right from the start that public transport was the primary means of getting to and from.

      It is too late to complain now.

      Townsville was too starstruck by this whole stadium business that, in fact, they were being served a shit sandwich made with stale bread. Well folks, the time has come; start eating!

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        Further, if you consult their web site you will see that the proposed Townsville Performing Arts Centre has planned for adequate car parking and a bus turnaround.

    • Alahazbin says:

      Pie, I asked this question of the Cowboys CEO at a season ticket members forum re the the Dean Park car park. His reply that was for the exclusive use of Cowboys management, players and staff.
      Also stated that there are over 1400 car parks in the area of the stadium and Reid Park is only a 400 metre walk to the stadium.
      Another question that needs to asked. What happens when the Civic Theatre hold an event the same night.

      • The Magpie says:

        So. Couple of things there … under these apparently well known circumstances did the council by-pass standard practice and notn insist that the unicorn DoubleTree Hotel provide the usual quota of car parks, and instead will have guests parking on the street? And will that area be subject to all sorts of finagling, like Double Tree vouchers so guests don’t get booked but ordinary punters do. Seems it ain’t gunna happen in a hurry anyway, with some suggesting the hotel people are trying to pull out of the deal as reality sets in. The ‘Pie’s info is that th ey are not securely locked in, so maybe that’s the end of that.

        And re Civic Theatre …. given this current council’s clear preference for sport over culture, and seeing the council has the veto power of events at the Civic Theatre, will we see the theatre dark on the game nights? Clusterfuck after clusterfucks.

        • Dave of Kelso says:

          You use the term, “this current council”. I know it is Sat a’noon and this run of the blog is almost done, but regardless, what happens if Hill and Co. are returned? Rd the shit sandwich, seems many locals, through ignorance or apathy, are happy with what this council is serving up. If the worst happens, what can honest, concerned and engaged folks do? Leave town is not an option for most. Extended travel, perhaps. Drink heavily in the back yard, there already. Accepting that we would be fucked does not satisfy, and I do not have the knowledge, skills, finances or energy these days to run for election myself. I am becoming ‘Dave the Glum of Kelso’.

          • L Berry says:

            Oh, Dave, I feel your pain. I, too am a Kelsonian (the name may give it away). All my neighbours think Our Jen is an absolute bonza sheila and all will be voting for her (and Milky).

      • Old Tradesman says:

        Will one of the games coincide with the V8 event?

        • The Magpie says:

          Certainly possible, because don’t think the NRL and the thieving SuperPests take heed of the other’s scheduling arrangements. Of course, in a properly run city infrastructure, in an economy fat with spending cash, a night footy game during the SuperPests would be a great idea. Dream on.

          • Critical says:

            My understanding is that once the QLD government makes the relevant declarations, usually in mid-late May and are in force until late July, the whole of the Reid Park precinct becomes a restricted area under control of the QLD government and V8 Supercars so no parking during this period.
            What happens if an an organization like the Moscow Circus, camping and caravan exhibition mob and so on want to stage an event or exhibition on the same weekend as a game. Council will probably so no you can’t use Reid Park that day/weekend and risk Townsville losing the event and visitors.
            Drive past the stadium today and noticed the vinyl roof moving again and still question what’s going to happen in a Cat 3 or better cyclone.

      • Fishframe says:

        I would never park my car in Dean Park at night.

    • Scientician79 says:

      Congratulations Astonisher and welcome to circa 2016 when everyone was asking the same question but your lousy excuse for a paper couldn’t be bothered with such details.

      I had heard the same as Dave re Dean Park, for use of support staff at the stadium only. I suspect the only semi practical solution will be some sort of shuttle bus arrangement from major shopping centre car parks? Probably not enough buses to make that viable either.

      The simple fact is we don’t have the public transport infrastructure to support a stadium of this size with so little car parking.

      I suspect this will ultimately contribute further to the white elephant nature of the stadium, but hey at least it will save all those restaurants on palmer street…..oh wait too little too late.

  26. Grumpy says:


    Two instances of when I have seen this word before.

    Once on the Great Wall of China. ”Walking here is prohibited ”

    Another time In the manual for a Russian pistol. ”dry firing of this weapon is prohibited”

    So I guess it’s a popular term in autocratic, despotic regimes.

Post a Comment

The Magpie encourages all to take part in the discussion and let their voice be heard.
In order to post a comment, you must provide a name. While you don't have to use your real name, it should be something unique so users can identify you in the discussion. Generic names like “Anonymous” will likely result in your comment being ignored.
Let the discussion begin!

Current ye@r *

Countdown until the next council election:

-543Days -6 -13 -20