The Nest has never been about me personally or my private affairs, but all you folks who have stuck so loyally with The Nest – some from day 1, or even further back to my Bulletin days – deserve the respect of an explanation for my departure from the city I have happily called home for three decades.
A combination of finance, health and family matters have conspired to call time on my 37 wonderful years in Townsville, the last sixteen completely consumed by The Magpie”s Nest. After discussions with my daughter, I have reluctantly agreed that at 80 years of age, I am now entering a period where it is wise – indeed responsible – to be with my family in the coming years, especially given that I have limited communication nowadays since cancer took my voice. Besides, on consideration, while it’s been a voluntarily and happily solitary life in recent years, it will be nice to have family around me, .
So I find myself Ballarat-bound.
I will not attempt to individually thank everyone who deserves it – whether anonymous or known – who have been integral to the success of the Magpie’s Nest … there are many and I would be sure to inadvertently miss some. And, as is the way of the world, there are some sadly missed and no longer with us to thank. Principal among these was my great, generous friend and legal champion, the much missed Greg Humphries. Greg and his wife Heather were staunch support through turbulent legal times, along with the equally generous barrister Tony Moon. And there are three other people behind the scenes who, while totally unrelated to any content in the weekly blog, were unknowingly instrumental in its success. Caroline McManus (now Zeller) was the Nest’s property owner back in 2002 when The ‘Pie fell in love at first sight with what was to become his Nest, and for many years, she was always generous in allowing me my champagne view across to Maggie on beer money. And when the property changed hands a few years ago, new owner Mark Adams and his Smart Rentals property manager Grace Battershall also went beyond the norm, apparently taking into account my personal situation and giving generous regard to my long tenancy … I was never just a name and number in a ledger, they always afforded me individual dignity, consideration and respect.
Nevertheless, through time, the beer money has become shandy money, and despite a flattering minimal rise offered on a new lease, the point had been reached where it was becoming untenable – probably unfair – to stay.
Despite the wrenching chore of packing up my home of 24 years, I have spent the last otherwise listless few weeks realising how much the blog had so happily dominated my daily routines for a decade and a half.
With that reality refusing to fade, my intention is to make this just a break from your regular Sunday morning read, and plan a spruced-up, re-designed Nest, again largely featuring all matters Townsville, but expanding more into other areas that it is becoming apparent people wish to talk about … given that 95% of the previous content has been reactive to the less-than-adequate performance of local entities (the totally compromised and selectively incurious Astonisher, the Dudley Do-Nothings at TEL and the Wirth’s Circus of Walker Street et al) as reported across the web, I was rarely if ever required to be on the spot physically. And the growing number of ‘citizen journalists’ who entrusted often sensitive information to the Magpie, tended to make the regular Sunday missive just a starting gun for the often informative, always entertaining comments throughout the week.
BUT WILL REPORTING ON TOWNSVILLE WHILE NOT LIVING HERE WORK, IS IT AN ETHICAL THING TO DO?
The answer to both those questions will be entirely up to you, the readers.
When the Nest starts republishing, the readership numbers and interest will determine whether it continues.
If the answer is no, it doesn’t work like that, then no harm done. COMMENTS REMAIN OPEN FOR THE TIME BEING, I WILL ADVISE YOU ALL WHEN I PULL THE PLUG .
In all it’s phases, successes and failures, adventures and misadventures both amorous and actual, turbulent times and great friendships, it’s been an absolute blast for the past 37 years.
I will dream about Townsville, what it was, what it is, and what it will eventually forge on to be.
Thank you.
Malcolm Weatherup – The ‘Pie
It’s a sad day indeed. That said, I for one wish you all the very best with your move to Ballarat Mal. Everyone reaches a point in life where big decisions need to be made about one’s circumstances. You’ve reached that point and have made a decision that will suit your needs, so well done. I for one will keep reading the Nest while it exists. And seeing that Ballarat is the Catholic capital of Australia, I am sure you will find some additional stories to tell!!
Do you mean I may be imPELLed to?
Well Magpie, your daughter is right. I am glad, for that the decision you have made, as hard as it must have been, is the right one. I wish you all the very best with your move, and I do truly hope for your sanity that the blog does continue. Yours Aye
Totally with agree Bagwhan. Sadly it’s a situation many find themselves in. ThankYou Magpie for your excellent commentary, it has been incredible reading over the years. All the best for your future in the South, looking forward to your comments once you are settled.
Ballarat! Nooo.
I spent 10 freezing cold years there. I could never go back. But it is a very beautiful city. Take care.
Geezuz Mate. I think we are caught with our “pants down”. All the best! Hope all goes well, and we can hear from you regularly. Cheers Mate. By the way, my daughter in law, Megan, who worked with you at the Bullsheet some years ago sends her wishes.
I’ve missed reading the blog over the Christmas break. I will certainly be looking out for news from the new nest, which I hope to visit.
Thankyou sincerely Malcolm, for the many years of informative entertainment. I look forward to the next chapter.
I hope you enjoy your time with your family. As the son of a 92 year old (Dad) I could imagine their peace of mind in having you closer by.
Cheers Magpie
All the best in your new Nest. I know that you will continue to entertain and more importantly inform people on a range of observations that have been presented without BS. A true friend of Townsville!!!!! Thank you and look forward to opinion and humour from the new Nest
Daughters hey. What would we do without them?
Wishing you well down south Pie. Take care.
Farewell, and good luck and I hope we see many more Nests in the future.
I can just see you at age 105 in a nursing home tapping out the Next for your readers, sort of like Scott Adams who was producing blogs from his hospital bed just before he passed.
Thank you for the sparring and the robust work covering the Troy Thompson saga. Troy and his bike riding lawyer will miss you.
There comes a time when all of us have to face the reality that age and hard living have caught up with us.
The Pie is not the first of my friends to move south, almost always to be closer to their children and grandchildren.
Your move is a timely, and wise, one.
Thanks for giving Townsville the means to call out the failings of our favourite subjects – the council, TEL, local con men, and what has become of our once great newspaper.
As for the Magpie blog remaining relevant from Ballarat, I for one will continue to keep in touch. I’m sure all of your other confidants will do likewise.
Long live the Magpie blog, and the Magpie – in his day one of the finest court reporters/journalists in the country.
Couldn’t agree more, Kingo. You deserve more than just “thanks”, but thanks, Malcolm.
Thanks for the many years of the Nest and all you have brought to it Pie
It is an era when many mainstays are concluding and the Nest i suggest is a mainstay to many
I wish you all the best for the future whatever it looks like for you and yours.
Whilst you advise of more written warbling to come for the moment be assured The Nest is your legacy and one to be very very proud of
Warm regards
Best wishes for the move Pie!
The nest will continue to be feathered from your avid audience.
I can only concur with PR’s thoughts. I certainly hope the ‘nest’ keeps going, but that is entirely up to you and your circumstances. I have enjoyed your wit and use of linguistics in compiling the nest ever since those Bulletin days. Enjoy your time with your family and good health to you.
Cheers!
Best wishes on your move your Pieness, gunna really miss our banter and your sharp wit.
Hi Malcolm,
I’ve been a regular reader for many years and constantly been impressed by your (and your informants’) ability to scoop other news outlets.
Thanks for all you’ve done for Townsville – bright light is a great disinfectant.
Enjoy your move into the bosom of your family and I hope to read more soon.
David
Good morning Malcolm
Reading your 19.01,26 from a purely selfish point of view email it is very disappointing to read you are leaving Townsville but without question I can understand why and wish you and your family all the best in the future.
It goes without saying you have been an outstanding member of the community calling out maleficence and shonky deals in government which if it hadn’t of been for your tenacity would have gone through to the keeper. behind closed doors. I arrived here in 1981 having resigned for a UK police force, the first think that smacked around the head was the non separation of powers in this country that is why we need people like yourself to try and keep a level playing field because nobody else appears to ask the awkward questions as you do.
All I can say is thank you for your effort keep well and stay safe you will be sadly missed here in town.
Kind regards
David Thoumine
Dearest Magpie
I am one of those readers from Bulletin days. I remember coming back from a holiday and the column was no longer! Luckily Mother Hubbard knew where you had flown to and I have been a reader ever since.
Thank you for being the first to expose Troy Thompson (currently not even getting to interview stage for the various Qld Gov jobs he has applied for). Thank you for keeping an keen eye on the various other shonks and spivs that have promised the world and delivered nothing.
Enjoy your move to Ballarat – may the fire be warm and the red wine perfect.
Always good. Always entertaining. Thank-you Pie. Best wishes.
All the best Malcolm
Thanks, Clive, trust all is well with you.
All the best for the future Pie. I hope to see your page again in the future. I love my Sunday morning catch up
Best wishes for the move ‘pie. Now remember, the Ballarat drivers are worse than Townsville’s, so take care. Don’t forget to pack your clubs because Ballarat Golf Club beckons.
I rate the Magpies Nest blog as being as productive and entertaining as Larry Pickering’s ‘The Pickering Post’. Always full of interesting and relevant stories with an entertaining and mostly unfiltered comments section. The Pickering Post took on a new life and wasn’t the same after Larry died.
The Magpie’s Nest has its own unique and entertaining format. You can be proud of that Malcolm. You created a fine piece of informative work that will continue as long as you feel up to the task. Today there are many lawyers, politicians, executive managers, con artists, fuckwits and shonks breathing a sigh of relief that you are moving on. That in itself should make you feel all warm and fuzzy mate.
You can still keep these assholes honest from down there mate all the best
Bloody hell Pie, who am I going to joust with now??? All the best for the move mate, at least you’ll be closer to the AFL and can take in some games, when your beloved Swans play in Victoria!
You will be missed around town, BUT a new opportunity awaits you! I can still ‘see’ you holding court down in Flinders St, way back then! :).
I had a feeling that something was happening and hoped my misgivings were incorrect. Sadly not.
For us, I’m sad you a flying south and for you, I’m glad that you will be with family, even if it is in that godawful freezing place called Ballarat. You know, when the miners burnt the hotel there, it wasn’t the start of a rebellion. They were trying to keep warm.
Thank you for the years at the typewriter/word processor and the computer. I used to follow your column in the Bulletin. Saturday mornings, I recall, when I could have a laugh over the antics of His Radiance and all the little sunbeams, along with the Talking Mullet.
I fervently hope that when you have your feathers in place, the Magpie will rise again like the phoenix.
Until then, good night and good luck.
Always keeping the “bastards” honest. You were never frightened to tell it as it was and unlike some in local media , never looked sideways to avoid getting some high profile players offside.
80 or not you will be able to continue the above with everyone’s full support but only when it doesn’t become a chore. As long as you enjoy it we will keep reading. Thank you my fellow Townsvillian . Ps How about a story on immigration policy over the last 15 or more years to relocate African families (one family a week to Townsville) . Not a word in the Bulletin and it is happening weekly by stealth. It is not racism to question the smoke and mirrors.
Yep one teenage/youth shooting per week! Media never mentions they are undesirables from uncivilized, backward Unwelcome hiding behind so called “migrants”.
Makes the Greenies able to sleep easier at night, while we will have to endure the nightmare they have created.
The abuse of the dishonest word “racist” stops any kind of comment, cowards all of ‘em.
Fox, not sure if you are referring to escaping Boers from Seth Efrica or migrants and refugees from one of the other fifty countries on that great continent but either way you are contributing nothing to the level playing field that the Magpie has curated over the years.
Gee, it will cold in Ballarat. However best wishes. I look forward to the revamped Nest
Malcolm, I’m very sorry to hear your news but I’m glad for you personally. It’s definitely Townsville’s loss.
Thank you for shining a light on the darker corners of our city for so many years. With the decline in local journalism, you have helped keep the bastards honest and provided a level of accountability that I fear won’t be seen again. Our city will be diminished without the Magpie’s keen eye.
I wish you all the best for the future and thank you for all you have done for our city.
I’m afraid this is just another nail in the coffin
The magpie was the last actual news source in townsville, once its gone that will be it.
You’re probably over thinking it, the whole idea of modern technology is that online content can be made anywhere – and it is.
Continue broadcasting ( they’ll hate that)
I think I’m looking forward to the magpie kicking back and coming into the modern by allowing my uncensored, unfiltered comments.
Here’s to the future.
Guy, you mean your unhinged delusional tinfoil hat comments. I’m sure the Pie will allow your comments to continue being published as it gives us all a good laugh.
Its meant to be a joke Monty
All the cool kids are doing it
Warmest best wishes to you, Mal. I follow you and your well aimed arrows from afar (Rockhampton) but I have a fond family and working relationship with the Ville. Enjoy your family time in Ballarat. You deserve it! Chris
Pie, good on you mate ! You’ve made the right decision to be under the wing (see what I did there) of caring family at a time of your life when you you need it most. Of course the Nest will keep going. You’ve built up an incredible strong network of contacts who’ve always enjoyed the avenue of the you and the Nest to report their leads and activities of Townsville. This won’t change !
Enjoy the deep South mate, enjoy being looked after for a change, get stuck into your beloved AFL, drink red wine and keep beaking around and tapping on the keyboard !
Thank you, Pie, and travel safe. I am sure there will be a continuance of sorts for Townsville Magpie, after 37 years, the brain is still willing, and I am sure there will be plenty to talk about in the future. cheers and best wishes.
Dear Malcolm,
Thank you for years of service to the good people of our fine city of Townsville, you have kept the bastards honest. It has been a continuous joy to read the ‘Townsville Magpie’ every week for many years.
My best wishes to you as you fly south to be with your loved ones.
I look forward to reading and being a contributor in the new ‘Nest’.
Ballarat is a great city, enjoyed some fine dinners, accompained with equally fine wine there several years ago.
Seems Ballarat City Council is not that unlike TCC, reading some of the comments after Tracey Hargreaves was re- elected as Mayor –
‘An audit needs to be done with all the funding given by government for dog shelter 11.5 million, and roads ,900 thousand unaccounted for…’
I have a feeling you might get your beak into that one.
‘The only constant in life is change’ Heraclitus
Cheers
Dear Magpie,
I concur fully with “You will be Missed” comment.
Thank you for your regular Sunday blog, keeping us up to date, and ahead of the local media.
Thank you for encouraging interesting and diverse comment.
Enjoy your time with family. Rug up against the Ballarat cold, and share a glass of red with us, albeit virtually.
Welcome Magpie, we are very pleased to have you join our Ballarat community.
Dametto has posted on Facebook that a full review has been undertaken of the Haughton pipeline project. He says that he can’t provide accurate figures, however TCC will have to contribute ‘hundreds of millions of dollars’. The legacy of Frauline Hill haunts the Walker street precinct.
They need to cut ALL further money to the pipeline debacle, stop now so further money isnt wasted.
Recycle water instead. Use bill gates omniprocessor system. Return distilled water to the tap water system. No need to spend 500 million trying to get water from the burdekin.
LN Slick didn’t say TVL would have to pay the full amount of hundreds of millions of dollars. They are still looking at methods of minimalisation.
And stopping further progress on the pipeline would also mean the money already spent was just wasted. In the end, we still need a reliable water supply.
I hope they closely examin Lansdown and advise whether or not money has been paid/offered to the proposed projects that after years are still in planning stages of developing plans.
Sunk cost fallacy
The options for a reliable water supply never looked at recycling water, hence hundreds of millions wasted/ lost.
Walk away from it now and recycle water
As everyone has said “You will be missed” but never forgotten. Still remember the days of your court reporting, and finally The Nest which we all have looked forward to on Sundays.
Enjoy that precious time with your daughter and family.
Enjoy old friend. May you continue to rage against the dying of the light.
Muddy
Ah Magpie… it happens to all of us eventually. And I’m sure Ballarat will be just as shit as Townsville if you look closely enough. Possibly shitter. Definitely colder.
There’ll be a lot of whinging old blokes with nowhere to vent their spleen about roads, bridges, pipelines, politicians and other perceived injustices without this blog. But also perhaps a repose from the deranged ideas of some.
Goodbye , old friend. Still have that cap I have been meaning to drop off. Send me an email with an address.
I suppose everyone knew deep down that this day would come, ‘Pie. I haven’t been the most frequent correspondent to these pages (usually someone else has eventually made my point anyway, and more concisely / wittily than I ever could have), but that doesn’t mean that I haven’t read just about every word – even when I’ve been out of town – and will continue to do so in the Nest’s refreshed form once you’re settled.
Your contributions over the years bring to mind another submission for the Harrumph! file: that of the lately-ubiquitous misuse of the word ‘underestimate’. So often nowadays we’re being told in articles or advertisements that (x) ‘cannot be underestimated’. A recent example was a defensively self-congratulatory ad in the Bully placed by BHP, in which it averred, “the company’s importance to the country can’t be underestimated.” A few on the loony left would no doubt agree, but I’m sure what the company meant to convey was the opposite.
In that vein, ‘Pie, your value to Townsville over these many years cannot be: OVERestimated (and nor should it be understated). “Townsville’s loss…”, and all that.
Godspeed.
Magpie, when is your last day in Townsville? I’m really sad you are leaving. On that last day I want to sit outside on my deck, puff on a cigarette and drink a glass of wine in your remembrance. In some ways this is an end of an era but a new chapter for you old boy. Farewell and happy trails.
I don’t think a commemorative cigarette is really appropriate, considering what tobacco did to his articulate larynx.
Haven’t smoked for 45 years … nothing to do with it. Besides, couldn’t afford it these days.
Meanwhile, while the Magpie is packing his things, on the other side of the world the greatest gathering of fuckwits is taking place at the World Economic Forum. Yes these billionaire parasites are meeting and sharing ways to manipulate governments into milking more money out of our (we, the shirkickers) back pockets, to line theirs. Grubs.
Well done PIE many thanks for your enlightening Nest over the last 37 years.
May Good Health and Happiness follow you into the future
Come on Leighton! How about a farewell piece in the Aston, I mean Bulletin, but be respectful.
Dear ‘Pie,
I wish you good fortune and contentment in the higher latitudes.
With kind regards,
Ben
Blood hell, that sounds a bit grim. Raise hell in Ballarat and tell us of the fun you have had!
Magpie, you magnificent bastard, farewell and best of luck for the future. Although you say the Nest will continue, it doesn’t really feel as if it will. I hope I am wrong. I love reading this blog every Sunday morning after it’s midnight uploading. This blog has reported more news articles, scoops, and breaking news items than our local news print organisations put together. What will Leighton Smith do now for news stories, considering he pinches most of his material from you!
Thank you for your service
I never credited Vlad Put(the boot)in having a sense of humor, but he just announced he wanted to joint T.A.C.O. Man Trump’s “Board of Peace”.
Tell that to the people of Kiev, they could do with a good laugh!
Pie, you grumpy old prick. When I stumbled onto the Nest a couple of years back because you were the only one with the stones to properly skewer that dodgy Troy Thompson saga, I thought, here’s another cranky jerk who thinks he’s the last honest man in Townsville. But it turns out I was half right… but the half that matters is you’re the sharpest, most stubbornly independent voice this town ever had, and damn if you haven’t earned every bit of respect along the way.I’ll be genuinely sad if the revamped southern edition doesn’t hit the same heights. Townsville without your weekly reality check will feel like driving with the windscreen fogged up. You’ve called out the shonks, the circus at Walker Street, and the Astonisher’s selective blindness better than anyone. Safe travels to Ballarat (rug up, you stubborn bastard), enjoy the family time you bloody well deserve, and if the Nest rises again, this late-blooming admirer will be there with bells on. All the best, you magnificent pain in the arse.
ABSOLUTE CLASSIC.
In a literally historic blunder, the Townsville Bulletin has managed to spell “Coalition” wrong in today’s front page headline about the Coalition breaking up. Even on a regular day, this kind of error would be embarrassing but for a nationally-significant political event this front page will be laughed at for decades to come.
The important element is the “coal”, they got that right.
The Telegraph’s headline “Ley Down Misere: Liberal leader a sure thing to be dumped” is very clever.
Yep, that’sn not bad, except it is at odds with Ley’s own insistence, and all other reporters, that it is pronounced Lee. No doubt to deflect any scurrilous social media connecting ‘lay’ with ‘being fucked’.
A numerology thing? 2 Es, 2 Ss …
That spelling error is nothing short of disgraceful. What a two-bit shit newspaper. Seriously, little children could do better. Hang your heads in shame. Embarrassing
All the best for the future ‘Pie. When you left the Bulletin and started the blog I wondered how long it would last. Not only did it last, it has become a much-loved part of Townsville life. Well done! News Corp missed out big time on that score. There must be plenty of material there for a book about the blog. Don’t you think?
The ‘Pie’s lawyers would have a melt-down.
All things must pass, and so it is that we lose the best thing to happen to Townsville in a generation.
We have been a very small part of each other’s lives for a very long time Malcolm and I will be lost without your weekly warbles, and feedback to your loyal band of commentators.
I have told you many times of my admiration for your skills and investigatory ability as an old style journo, and will miss your weekly insights and scoops of some of the other media
We all hope to leave with a legacy, and as you exit Townsville for the last time know that yours will be the Magpies Nest and all the good it did for many people in many different ways for a very long time.
I will miss you Malcolm, and have no idea what will fill the hours that I enjoyed the Nest over the years, and the Saturday morning routine prior to the Nest.
Your family will enjoy their time with you being closer.
I hope to enjoy your work in whatever form it takes in the future. For now, I wish you good health and further happiness in life in Ballarat. It’s been fun.
Its been a 23 year friendship, Third, mutually enjoyable.
It is possible that the new laws on this “ hate” topic may be retrospective…
https://www.news.com.au/national/politics/politician-admits-to-antimuslim-tirade-on-social-media/news-story/5a2c133cbc34fe4829494deb7a65f8cb
Naughty Phil. Doesn’t he know that Australians aren’t allowed to say a negative word against the so-called religion of peace? Who cares that Muhammad married Aisha and deflowered her when she was age 9. And who cares that Muslims advocate for jihad’s against westerners. It’s all a storm in a teacup.
There’s a difference between insulting a religion and threatening to go on a shooting rampage.
I’ve always been puzzled with this, however just recently ive discovered this
Aisha was the daughter of Abu Bakr , one of Mohammed’s earliest followers – by coincidence Abu Bakr by coincidence took over as head of the religion when Mohammed died. Maybe, just a conspiracy theory – Abu Bakr married off his daughter to Mohammed to secure the top position in the event of Mohammed dying. It makes sense, you’ll find in history that people will “marry” off their children to consolidate power eg royal families.
Coincidentally Aisha never had children by mohammed
I rather suspect this “marriage” was one of political convenience rather than anything else. From my scant knowledge on Islam ive not heard much more in this vein of mohammed doing anything similar ie he doesnt seem to have had the inclination.
You’ll find much more horrifying treatment of children in the Talmud than the Koran.
As someone raised Christian, though non-practicing like most Australians, I have a reasonable understanding of the Bible. I find there’s unsteady ground to stand on when trying to insult other religions. Christianity isn’t exactly the pinnacle of piousness, ethics, or morality. It certainly doesn’t treat women and children well, and in some cases tries to pretend that hillbilly-level incest is perfectly acceptable behavior.
Where exactly did Cain’s wife come from? Abraham married his half-sister Sarah with no condemnation.
And then there’s Lot, whose daughters allegedly got him drunk and slept with him to get pregnant. A highly dubious story.
Ahhh, yes, the good old days.
I believe they are and that was one of the issues raised by free speech advocates..
Be a shame to see Phil held to account.
Not really a credible threat if the arms are 10 inches short of reaching the trigger.
The Betoota has helped us all out by profiling the future leaders of the Liberal party
https://www.betootaadvocate.com/twink-taylor-soldier-spy-who-will-be-the-next-leader-of-the-liberal-party/
I feel like this is a loss for Townsville. Thank you for the weekly column and relentless pursuit of sniffing out the bullshit. Also, allowing us all to pile in with our two cents.
I do enjoy the cartoons and commentary on “Amerika” so why not do Viktoria as well?? All the very best Pie with your move. It seems like a wise one.
Hope this is not a-30- and await the revamped Nest.
While The ‘Pie desperately misses penning the Nest, there are some reasons he will enjoy the brief break from the banality, triviality and patronisation of the Daily Groundhog Day aka the Bulletin.
Childish news article that is 100% lame. They fill their papers with this shit and excessive ads. No wonder readership levels drop every year. Absolute fucking crap.
The countdown is on; how long will it be before we get to “best car park”
Here’s The Shovel’s take on the Liberal/Nationals split https://theshovel.com.au/2026/01/22/liberals-nationals-fight-over-who-gets-to-keep-gina-rinehart/
Perhaps Gina will go with her private jet hitchhiker PantsDown buddy and her other pal Barndoor?
I’m STILL waiting for “Townsville’s best tradie’s bum crack”.
Look no further than your bathroom mirror, enlightenment awaits!
I think that all cyclones that form should be named indigenous names. Everything else is now named indigenous names so why not cyclones?
Yep, I agree 100% they have an amazing capacity to destroy anything and everything progressive and actually beneficial just because they can!
Oh! shit here I go again, I’m about to be labelled with that dishonest word racist!
If the jackboot fits …
Every decision makes some people happy
In case it will be people who feel they are now off the hook
Hey Pie, does ths editor of The Ballarat Courier know you are now in town? For his/her sake I hope they are more accomplished than successive iditors of the Astonisher. Regards……
Ms Emily Sweet, managing editor, who has a 20 year track record in regional media, has the advantage of good corporate breeding … that is, it’s never been owned by the Pickled Walnut, the Courier was formerly in the respected Fairfax stable until sold to Australian Community Media (ACM) owned by real estate guru Anthony Catalino and a billionaire mate Alex Waislitz. Doubt they’ll provide as much satirical fun as the Daily Astonisher, but we’ll see.
Best wishes for the future Malcolm. Looks like we just beat you out of town. Reminds me of your posts previously, if you are being run out of town, get to the front and lead the parade.
Ah, another aviab absconder from the ‘ville … almost a mass migration.
Best wishes to you and Lady peahen, Quincy.
Ok, here’s one to reply to, and no offense to Malcolm;
PEOPLE WHO ARE HAPPY THE ‘PIE IS LEAVING TOWN? GO….
The ‘Pie will be upset if no one replies.
KK,
Are you really encouraging Jenny Hill to contribute to the Nest comments?
And Three Names but it’s really ‘suggestions’ from regulars.
A certain legal identity who took on (and lost to) the Magpie is probably delighted!
Just here to make sure you’re upset….
Thanks Malcolm for the insights, commentary and wit. For educating a newbie to the undercurrent of Townsville’s ‘leader’ class and shitfuckery of those supposed to be reporting on the ‘leader’ class.
It is one of skills of a magpie to teach their young and pass on the skills needed. No chance of you mentoring another into the nest?
Wishing you and your family all the best. Hope you got a new jumper for Christmas.
Bloody hell I’m buggered now. As an ex-northener, who finally gave up on that limp, fetid, puerile excuse for a “Newspaper” the Bully has become, I have been relying on the Magpie for my daily dose of what’s what, in the Ville and who was responsible. Started following the Pie in the Bully days and see no reason to change now: even if the editor’s office has moved south. With the cast of characters, informants, misanthropes, miscreants, wannabes and never-weres that inhabit and contribute to this page it is still the best way to keep up with events from afar. As a very occasional poster myself I enjoy the range of the (for the most part) honest, irreverent , witty and at times scatological commentary and will continue to follow the relocated and refurbished nest.
Will Nick Damettos black clad hate group/Nazi terrorist mates be there when he gives his first Australia Day address in front of new immigrant citizens taking their path to uphold our rights and liberties, the guvna, Crissafulli and cops legally bound under s6.4 of the police service admin act to uphold their oaths to act with integrity, honesty and diligence to uphold human rights without favour or I’ll will,, legally bound by s8 if their admin reg to know the laws they are working under, including the new CTH hate speech/group retrospective amendments that make state cops arresting officers ? https://parlinfo.aph.gov.au/parlInfo/download/legislation/bills/r7422_aspassed/toc_pdf/26003b01.pdf;fileType=application%2Fpdf
The national socialist network disbanded I believe, and I think there’s a cooker march scheduled separately to the formal Australia Day events.
Hope they brought their wellies.
And by disbanded, do you mean “went underground”? After they gained enough membership from the March for Australia events that they can now grow organically.
Farewell comrade. I’ve enjoyed your blog and also the occasional sparring. Enjoy seeing out your final years with family in Ballarat mate. You’ve left your stamp on Townsville and you should be proud of that legacy.
I am Gunny, and it ain’t over yet, mate.
I hope you are going to leave the old nest up as a searchable archive of Townsville shenanigans Pie .
Have a safe trip and enjoy your new digs Magpie. Quite a few fuckwit politicians, shonks, and dodgy business leaders will be breathing a sigh of relief and hoping you stop your publication. I for one reckon that the location of the blog is irrelevant as you have a line up of informants and people on the ground in Townsville still who will keep feeding you blog material, as has always been the case. Look forward to your good work continuing sir.
Thanks.Me,too, as the gals say.
Happy Australia Day to you Mr Magpie.
A bit of island news to report. Yesterday the big 4 liberals were on the island, Adam Baillie, David Crisafulli, Phillip Thompson and Susan McDonald. They did the rounds, checking out the progress of our new bridge, chatting with locals and enjoying lunch at the Arcadia Pub. Quite a few discussions centred around the need for the road to Radical Bay being opened to the public. Hopefully an announcement will be forthcoming in the not too distant future.
They were warmly welcomed by the community, this news will probably ruffle the feathers of the woke, anti everything know alls but who gives a toss.
Let me take this opportunity to thank you for being a great advocate for the island and cutting through the bullshit of local government.
All the very best with your move down south, enjoy your time with your family.
May the Magpie continue to shine a light in journalism, where so few choose to go.
“big 4″ lol
Perhaps the shortarse 4,
the coalition of diminutive politicians,
the lnps representatives for the underaverge Australian.
Hey Ducky, don’t get your duck down too ruffled. Anna Palaszczuk was premier of Queensland for just shy of 9 years, not once in that time did she step foot on island. The Kid has visited here several times and we appreciate it.
I read she has won a major Australia Day award? What the fuck for- the Covid lockdowns which caused so much damage to businesses and residents of Queensland. Who orchestrated that award – wouldn’t have anything to do with Albo??
Its appropriate this lot to visit. Besides Crisafulli is from Ingahnum and he was the deputy mayor here and member for Mundingburra. However, you’ll find Palaszczuk also spent a bit of time in Townsville as she had friends here.
I see Michael Pugh got a citizen of the year award. Officially for Townsville Hike and Explore. I do hope TCC has some excellent transparency around this as he was actively handing out flyers and how to vote cards for Slick Nick.
Bit OTT, Ducky, for two reasons … doubt Slick had much say if any in choosing the recipients, and it will be validly spun as a story of one man’s rehabilitation after grave past errors and law breaking. Those are always stories worth airing, and Mr Pugh’s efforts certainly make him a worthy subject and a worthy recipient.
Magpie…..
I’m sure his rehab has been wonderful and hard earned.
However, you know where this leads as well as I do.
And no I wont be voting for him at any election ever. IMO politicians should not have a criminal history, even if they’ve received an Australia Day honour.
Never suggested he deserved a vote for public office. Just that he had turned matters around.
Well it’s Australia Day. I’m reminiscing back in time to when our country was great. Days spent on the beach wearing no sunscreen, then having a root in the back of the car. You could walk down the road drinking a VB while smoking a Winnie Blue. Nights cruising around in the Holden Torana with no red light cameras or speed camera vans raising revenue. Dressing up all fancy while flying with TAA or Ansett to visit family interstate was a big adventure. And watching TV shows like the Paul Hogan Show, Kingswood County or some Benny Hill for a good laugh. The sad thing is that the younger generation will never get to experience the freedoms and casualness that the older generation experienced.
Yep Prince that was me as well. Only difference was driving around in a Maroon EH Ute followed by a Mica Red painted EH Sedan. Those comedies just still fill me with laughter as old as they are. Magpie I wish you well in your move, please come back soon
I think we might have been mates in a former life…………..but you forgot something. The coppers then had our respect because they used common sense, judgment, empathy, and if all else failed, the steel toe cap of their boot. They have an unenviable job today largely because they are not allowed to do that.
Astronaut Gets Award From Space Cadet.
Succinct
Apparently, as long as you are a Nazi, act like a Nazi, but aren’t a member of a disbanded Nazi group, you are welcome to be at, help organise and Marshall at fascist/Nazi march for Australia , because you are a normal patriot https://www.abc.net.au/news/2026-01-26/march-for-australia-anti-immigration-rally/106269414
Fuck your kind of patriotism you Nazi pricks. The law applies to your behaviour whether or not you are a member you terrorist fucks.
The way everyone is talking you’d think the pie had fallen off his perch, good luck with the move mate its going to have more positves than negitives for you and the nest thats for sure.
Don’t think that theme has come through at all Woodduck ! Perhaps in your own subconscious but certainly not in the threads here so far. Magpie has said he’s buggering off to Southern pastures to be with family and we’ve all said good onyx’ mate, good move and well done. The one confirmed promise from the Pie is that he’s going to keep the Nest going. I hear that his golf game is shit anyway !
The ‘Pie hears that your hearing is shit, anyway.
Malcolm I doubt you’d remember me from your Bulletin days, such was the number of young people you guided whether intentionally or not. Even though I never worked in the newsroom, the occasional chat in the hallway was a key part of my now long-held belief that a strong local media means a stronger and more prosperous community.
With so much of our “local” news now being delivered from afar thanks to technology, and a proud masthead flailing despite the standards set by people like yourself and Ron McLean, I am confident that if anyone can keep us truly informed despite their physical location, it’s the Magpie!
Regardless of whether the Nest continues or not, best wishes and clear skies as you fly into your next chapter.
Magpie, now that you have adjusted to being one hour ahead of some, you will understand that we locals are used to being an age behind. The Mt Spec road is closed to all traffic again due to heavy rain (which even closed the Bruce for a while yesterday) and QTransport has introduced an addendum to the ‘closed road’ permit system to basically indemnify the government for any claims against the state for any landslides which flatten cars despite the best efforts to control access. They took a nice video of blowing up a rock:
https://www.facebook.com/checkpoint/828281030927956/?next=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2FTMRQld%2Fvideos%2Fa-key-milestone-in-the-reconstruction-of-mount-spec-road-is-complete-following-t%2F1750251902304213%2F
Mr Pie, farewell and safe travels. It has been fun.
‘taint over yet, flutterby.
I am saddened to hear your news, Pie. But the years sure catch up with us, regardless of our lifestyles.
The hours spent at the drawing board for your blog were enjoyable in the extreme, until the age-related afflictions became intolerable. But looking back, I must say I enjoyed being part of your attempt to fill the journalistic void that sadly still exists in this otherwise fabulous part of the world.
H and I wish you and your family all the very best for your future in Victoria and look forward to future editions of the blog in whatever form it should evolve. (Plenty of grist for the mill in Victoria.)
P.S. Don’t forget your woolies!
Thanks Benters, and it must be acknowledged that your selfless decade-long contribution from the very inception of the Nest, with your long hours you spent to supply a professional aura to the Magpie’s weekly ramblings cannot be over overestimated in the success of the blog. It was great to work with you, and on top that, you are a good bloke as well. My sincere thanks and by best wishes to you and H as we all move along.
I’m surprised our former Mayor has not shown a mature gracious parting farewell, (Parthian shot more like) after all we graced her with a complimentary tittle of Spinning Jenny!!!!!!!!!
‘Pie, could you please give us some idea about what you perceive will be the Nest’s future over the next few months. I do understand how busy you are with the relocation.
What to keep, what to throw out. Some things impractical and haven’t been used in years, but there is the emotional issue. They bring back memories and remain part of our lives.
I spent over 40 years moving around the country, and overseas, some moves only a few streets, others 1000s of ks so i knowhowdifficultit can be. My next move will be one step from the crematorium.
I wish you luck in the Republic of Victoria and expect to see a shot of you panning for gold at Sovereign Hill.
Hoping for a spruced up Nest, perhaps covering more Qld and national subjects, but always focussing on Townsville. But nothing much will happen for maybe three months … computer and screens won’t arrive for six weeks when the small shipment leaves, and then the set up will take time while I sort out how this will all work.
You perfectly describe the bitter sweet emotional buffeting of packing up a long term home (23 years in the one wonderful spot) with lots of pauses for memories sad and happy. But as always with me, life remains an adventure … that’s why I will be driving down rather than flying, I love the open road, especially through the Aussie bush … just hope my beloved old Corolla loves it, too … it’s 27 years old, owned it from new, and it is same age as me in car years. I identify with it so much it’s a wonder it doesn’t run on pinot gris instead of petrol.
Of course it would love to run on pinot gris! BUT it’s being responsible, unfortunately not so with too many drivers.
So Your Pieness, please be extra aware of the (immature) travellers you’ll cum across on your descent into eternal winter/////
The report of the visit to Maggie Island of the LNP “Big 4″ – Crisafulli, Thompson, MacDonald and Baillie – made no reference to any decisions they might make about a couple of critical funding issues troubling ratepayers. The first is the proverbial Haughton pipeline with no pump, leaks apparently at every join and no current function except a multi-million debt threat supposedly pointed at TCC.
The second is similar but just emerging – the Sooning Street bridge. When the pollies had finished their pre-Australia Day inspection and gone home, workers who are trying to get the bridge foundations to emerge from the earth are finding it tougher than they thought, or had been professionally advised. I’m told the piledriving has paused for thought. With the budget now passing double the original (April 2025) estimate of $7.4m, one wonders just who is going to pick up the tab. The Big4 will be saying nothing, the Last3 (mayors Thompson, Greaney and Hill) can hardly be liable and the Current1 won’t yet have a clue. Perhaps your Island correspondents can report from next weekend’s MIRRA meeting?
Bob, once again your talking bullshit regarding the Sooning St bridge. Your current information is about is credible as your imaginary low flow pipe.
Work has not stopped, the bridge foundations are already there and the pile driving continues.
But here you are again with your typical bully boy behaviour telling others what they should be doing.
Get off your arse and come over to the island and have a look for yourself, you could even attend the meeting next Saturday.
Look carefully, IV. Only SOME piledriving continues.
And the budget? As the engineers diddle with the geotechnicals, the meter is ticking over big time. TCC’s December 2025 update for the bridge stated:
“Price refinement underway at 90% design; final price due at 100% design and at project completion”.
Sounds ominously like the Haughton pipeline.
Bob, FYI https://www.facebook.com/QueenslandReconstructionAuthority
Phil Thompson still banging on about flag burning.
Not a peep about IEDs being thrown into crowds on Australia day.
It seems odd that Phil wouldn’t speak out about this, since he’s the victim of an IED attack.
Maybe Phil has some kind of issue with the colour of the flag burners skin? But no issue with the colour of the skin of the bloke who threw the IED?
Perhaps if you had used the few brain cells that you may or may not possess oh Anatidae gonads, you would realise that there are already laws against throwing IEDs into crowds.
There are, however, no laws against burning the national flag.
We’ve been down this path before in Australia and when asked if he’d call for flag burning to be criminalised former PM John Howard said:
“Despite my great affection for the Australian flag, I have stopped short of advocating that because, repugnant though it is to me, in the end I guess it’s part of the sort of free speech code that we have in this country.”
However, back to my point which is, Phil is a victim of an IED. He should be more outraged that IEDs are being thrown on Australian soil, with the potential to kill and maim citizens, than someone burn a flag and potentially burn his fingers in the process. Therefore, Im going to assume this is a matter of skin colour.
Duck’s
For the record I despise flag burning and the person with alleged aboriginal heritage who carried out the stunt is a an utmost hypocrite unless he has not accepted a cent/benefit off the Commonwealth but I differ to Phil on banning. We ban too much now, let our extremists to be in the open unless of course they are involved in insurgency.
Those of us who have time in the ranks overseas with all sorts don’t care about skin colour, especially when the guy who has your back is TI as I had the pleasure of with one of my multiple overseas trips. FYI Phil is married to an ATSI person so has more skin in the game than I do.
IMHO you are being a tad unfair in this case.
nah, he/she/it is just being a typical leftie
Dave I think Phil is winding people up and trying to institute “enforced reverence” or “prescriptive nationalism”, while ignoring actual acts of violence against people for voicing their feelings and opinions at rallies Phil doesn’t like on Australia Day.
For that I don’t believe I’m being unfair. Phil has shown his hand.
You’re driving down? On your own? Fuck!
Please send us progress reports until you get there. It’s not that we care about you (don’t want you getting conceited), we’re just sticking our beaks in.
Could be his last big road trip before he carks it.
With the Pie out of action for a few months, it will be up to the regulars to keep the blog alive by highlighting the shortcomings of the likes of the council, TEL and local con artists.
So now the fond farewells are taken care of, let’s get back on track.
Here’s a start:
The Bully has an excellent online feature today on the work of our amazing local street artists. TEL, instead of waxing lyrical about the pie-in-the-sky Townsville boom, or claiming ridiculously high benefits from cruise ships, V8 Supercars and the like, should encourage a tour operator to start a local street art tour.
Similar tours overseas are hugely popular and often sell out.
Take a look at these images from Lima (Peru) and Valparaiso (Chile) and you’ll see what I mean:
https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=lima+street+art&form=HDRSC3&first=1
https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=afc7a5940241e23a&sxsrf=ANbL-n6I_W9JZ39uN2SXUShqnUqanxZ1Vw:1769825180234&udm=2&fbs=ADc_l-aN0CWEZBOHjofHoaMMDiKpaEWjvZ2Py1XXV8d8KvlI3o6iwGk6Iv1tRbZIBNIVs-6YKj3ieLLpE5n_AQ7knvnyKWIvRkiFNvO1lj5rKYMNPVSK4rwtli-0rfM3F9oN9N9mjyO0LHHDIti2g52F9OtNDlEz2KDbdHwTEvQOvOZaGUniKTDwtER95IMREnPio92GczsOMNBtO7m4rlUy69AsOR7iEg&q=Valparaiso,+Chile+street+art&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi0w7rJ2LSSAxV3yzgGHVPZK4gQtKgLegQIExAB&biw=1528&bih=828&dpr=1.25&aic=0
The council could also help expand the local street art scene by funding local artists to work their magic around town, starting with boarded-up eyesores
like the dilapidated Dimmey’s Arcade.
It would at least give cruise ship passengers an extra activity after visiting The Strand and Magnetic Island.
Who knows, they might start getting off the boat in Townsville.
Unfortunately, Doug, comments can only be published by The ‘Pie (a legal safeguard) and the computer is about to be packed up for shipping south by removalists (will take about 6 weeks). So unless I can work out something with my iPad, the Nest will fall silent until it is rebooted whenever (about 2/3 months).
Oh no Mr Pie, you are leaving us. Please be careful of all of those gay priests in Ballarat. There are simply lots of them.
Just swung by, sad to see this but I myself am looking at relocating south later this year.
Sorry if I sound unduly negative. Reasons many but include influx of ferals, lack of infrastructure builds to the already congested northern links and featherbedding of developers failing CBD assets by ratepayers.
I’m done with the quid pro quo of this place. The endless recycling of failed identities who seem to gain office here, we’ve essentially swapped Hill’s mafia for the Ingham Italian mafia but with a shout out to the Burdekin branch as well. Slick Nick well didn’t he turn out to be easily bought.
I’m done honestly, it is why I have been a bit more withdrawn along with work schedules interstate. In my suburb 17yo when I bought we didn’t have but now we have feral bike riders that no one wants to deal with especially one developer who doesn’t give a fig that it’s his land, illegal dumping/weeds no one will follow up on and lazy planning that treat traffic problems with erecting signals/lowering speed limits compounding already terminal congestion problem that I don’t mean to be hyperbolic but if there’s an incident can be as bad as Bangkok traffic at peak hour.
Beautiful city with heaps of potential, great weather 300 days a year, the strand, not overdeveloped along foreshores giving a relaxed atmosphere however just desperate and crying out for new blood. Donald Horne’s saying comes to mind.
Good luck in Ballarat, shudder the only place I have played rugby in the snow. Black Duck Inn at Campbelltown not far from the ‘Rat was always a good establishment drop in and warm the cockles on a cold winters day when we did road trips there. I was in Ballarat last year place has barely changed since the first time I saw it 40 years ago as a teen. Good luck and thanks for this blog, big hole to fill now.
I’ll tip a glass to you when I get to much milder Lake Macquarie NSW next year, we are currently looking at buying in the quieter area of the lake.
Good luck Pie and enjoy what you have left with family.
Cheers
Dave
Mal, lots happening in your space at the moment. Seeing that shortly there will be a hiatus in the Magpies Nest for several months, that is a big hole for some of us to fill. Please make sure that if you end up deciding to give the Nest a permanent rest for whatever reasons, please come back with a final blog that keeps us in the loop. You are well liked and you have built up a loyal fan and friends base. As has been mentioned previously and by many, have a safe trip down south and best of luck resettling in you new digs. Cheers
Thanks, Mopsy. It is my firm intention to revive the blog, but a lot of kilometres and lots of personal adjustment to go before that.
Good luck with the move south.
I was looking forward to seeing your take on the Adelaide Writers Festival blow up. In particular one women being canceled for hateful comments and the board resigning and then it transpires that the cancelled writer herself tried to have a Jewish writer cancelled. Anyway, old news now, I’m sure a new scandal will emerge soon enough.
Safe travels
When a billion dollar company is too venal and money hungry to pay sub-editors and tech savvy journalists/editors, it’s no wonder the Townsville Bulletin comes out looking like the foolish amateurs they undoubtedly are. Today’s astonishment from the Daily Astonisher … and in the editorial no less.
One wonders who was checking who, and who wrote the iditorial in the first place.
Seriously, they just don’t give a shit.
Thanks, PJ, will try to set up.
UNPLUGGING DESKTOP NOW, IN PREPARATION FOR ITS TRIP SOUTH. NOT SURE IF I CAN GET IPAD TO FILL IN FOR IT, BUT WILL TRY. BUT COMMENTS MAY NOT GET PUBLISHED.
OTHERWISE, FAREWELL FOR NOW, AND THANK YOU ALL, FRIEND AND FOE, FOR SUCH AN INTERESTING THREE DECADES.
Fly high mate, fly HIGH.
Pie, I’m sorry to see you go. Even though you’re a bit of a cranky bastard, you clearly care about Tville. That is something in short supply these days. We need those who remember what this city used to be, to take the reins. New blood is needed. Thanks for your role in calling out the nonsense. Come back to the blog if and when you can. Your cherished view of Maggie will remain in your mind’s eye whenever there is a drink in hand and a blog to write. All the best.
Waiting with bated breath for the resumption of your intelligent and sardonic blog Malcolm and Sundays won’t be the same without you.
Love you mate.
GR
Forlornly keep looking.
Malcolm – I wondered why your weekly blurbs were not coming through. And on doing some filing of many outstanding emails, I came across this note which I had missed previously. I’m really saddened to hear you are leaving Townsville. You have become a voice for Townsville, usually sensible, but occasionally voicing something I disagree with, particularly when you ventured into international matters! But nevertheless it was always great to get your reports which highlight at times how good Townsville could be, but how it is often badly managed. For more than a decade, I have talked about catching up with you for a beer but never seemed to get around to it, and now I am really sorry that I did not. You will certainly be missed by many more than you could ever think of. May I wish you yet a very long and comfortable life with your family. If you ever do another Magpie of any sort, please let me know. I am one of those many who you have, usually indirectly and not very publicly, helped and I will never forget. MY VERY BEST WISHES AND THANKS FOR YOUR CONTRIBUTION TO THE NORTH
C’mon Mal, it’s been 3 months mate. Where are you? I’m writing this message on the 27/4/26. There has been lots to report about with TCC plus we’ve been dragged economically through the shit thanks to the orange fuckwit in the USA. We need your robust coverage of world events. And what about the Ballarat region, surely some clergy have been bumming kids. That’s worthy of reporting.
The future is yet to arrive, as they say, but it’s coming closer with the arrival of The ‘Pie’s computer and other personal gear … finally.
Looking into administrative, financial and technical details pertaining to the new Nest, and hopefully soon will dip a dainty claw into the still murky Townsville waters when it is all sorted. Have stayed in touch with matters Townsville over the months, reading the infuriatingly hilarious Astonisher every day (so forgive The ‘Pie if he is misinformed on any subject he subsequently broaches.) The antics of TEL and its bogus boss remain just as entertaining as ever, while the direction of the council and newish mayor bear careful attention and interpretation. So all you citizen journalists, start sharpening your keyboards.
Stay tuned, Nesters … and you too, Lighton, your fame will continue.
Lighton has been at a loss without you Magpie. You provided him with all of his ‘scoops’. He has been a lost soul. He will be happy to see you reporting again on events in Townsville, so that he can again pinch your articles and claim them as his.
Sounds like you’ve been the one lost without the Magpie Rollmope, with no one to pay attention to your invariably negative bullshit hot takes.
Looking forward to it.
Cheers for the update mate
Ah, yes, three enduring mysteries: Stonehenge, the Mary Celeste, and the enhancing function performed by Townsville Enterprise, with its CEO photobombing every envelope-opening that she possibly can. Seriously, does no one else in those pics ever thing to ask, “I’m sorry, and you are…? Would you mind standing over there, please? We’re kinda busy.” Townsville is succeeding (to the extent that it is), not because of her and her look-busy colleagues, but very much in spite of them. Why, oh why, oh WHY does no one in a position to pull the plug on that motley bunch seem to see that? Oh, well, keep plugging away, Pie…
Indeed a mystery,CHF, but it becomes doubly galling now that she is now in bed with Jill Poulsen and the Bulletin. (Metaphorically only … in actuality would make for sleepless nights). Apart from Ms B-S now having a regular op ed column, The ‘Pie, keeping up with the Astonisher’s version of what’s happening in Townsville, saw the proof of this when the rag ran that perennial stand-by about the airport seeking international flights (a completely whimsical idea in this hard headed economic climate). And as usual, the regular ratepayer/taxpayer funded jolly to Canberra to plead the unsupportable case which would be determined by the airlines anyway. But the galling part was the pic in the paper about the wildly smiling group portrait of the inevitably unsuccessful time wasters was fronted by Brumme to the fore … an unelected entity standing in front of elected mayors from the region.
Ofcourse, this whiole charade was aided and abetted by stenographer Lighton Smith, so why should we be surprised. Perhaps our boy would be better employed leading a brave campaign to sort out the laughable transport clusterfuck at the airport rather than a pointless bid that would only achieve locals instant access to a knees-up in Bali.
So glass-half-empty, Magpie. 45 years ago a modest resort was proposed for Florence Bay and macho political optimism stomped on doubters:
“MR ELLIOTT [ Minister for Tourism, National Parks, Sport and the Arts.] “In broad terms the proposal is for a fully integrated international resort complex to provide between 1,500 and 2,000 rooms.”
“The employment estimate of 2,000 people is in line with the employment level at similar standard international resorts in other parts of the world, and I see no reason why we should not be aiming for the very highest standards for the influx of international visitors it is planned to attract through the new airport at Townsville”.
(Queensland Hansard 12/5/1981)
He could see no reason . . . .
OK, Charlie, but not sure what your point is.
Governments sponsor spruikers. Nothing changes.
Pie, I just thought I’d have a look at the nest and see if anything new had been posted and there they were, new posts, they made my day, so glad to have you back, take care, Ralph.
Yeah, Ralph, comments are now back in operation and they’re being monitored, approved and posted once again. However, another delay in the blog because it turns out a new computer (well, a reconditioned one, onnthe ‘Pie’s budget) is needed to install updated software to a new blog platform, which is being worked on as we write. No time line yet, but The ‘Pie will post here in comments on matters he notices when they come up. As is everyone else invited to do, as we roll along until the new Nest is twigged together.
Chief donut puncher and Albo’s bestie, Alan Joyce, has released a biography. Who the fuck would want to read anything that the Qantas vandal has to say? Slimey little toad killed Qantas and left a trail of destruction behind him. He should just fade away to some glory hole on Oxford street and disappear forever.
Ah, Mopsy, how The ‘Pie has missed your regular foaming.
Yes His Pieness, I get a bit excitable at times. A little bit like Lighton Smith when he reads one of your scoops, very excitable.
The Central Highlands Regional Council (Emerald QLD) is a shambles. A long serving Councillor just resigned and so did the CEO after just 12 months. The Mayor, known for crying during meetings, is completely batshit crazy and since she was voted in there has been nothing but chaos and lunacy. Seems that Townsville isn’t the only clusterfuck out there.
Stunning result for One Nation in the seat of Farrer. Is it the beginning of the end for mainstream political parties? People have had enough of the current rorting disconnected Canberrians living in their political bubbles while our once brilliant nation is governed into the sewer. Vote these carnts out.
Welcome back you old rascal, the joint hasn’t been the same without you!
Some things haven’t changed in the few months that the Magpie has been absent – Trump is still a fuckwit, TEL are still full of shit, Albanese and Chalmers continue to fuck our country over, and Steven Miles is still a prize goose. Welcome back Magpie.
Ah, Magpie, you’ve flown in again. So it’s true they have internet in country Victoria? I must pay more attention.
TCC meets again tomorrow, first time in a while, and I see on the Agenda there is to be a changing of the guard on the waterfront at Plume Street, just off Palmer Street. Angus Smith Marine are leaving and the slipway next door is given a ‘times up’. The yachties and boaties are, not surprisingly, lining up on one site but there could be big changes coming up on the corner block.
And the info and criticisms are still out there. Received this today.
Not enough credit to CEO Joe McCabe who has had to unwrap / try and get out out of the labyrinth of deals Jenny Hill and Ceo Prins Ralston did detrimental to the City / ratepayers . How did the Team Hill Councillors ( Margie Ryder head of audit committee ) not know .
Sorry, Magpie, what did the Team Hill councillors not know? Is there something in the audit report?
As The ‘Pie said, it was information received from a trusted source, with no further details. But what we already know is that no one on Mayor Mullet’s voting arm aerobics class said anything about the inexcusable Smart Precinct rort, which has now been tossed. And let’s not talk about the deafening silence from the same folk about Lansdown folly which went into direct competition with the port road SDA (which is going gangbusters despite that fact), all because Jenny figured the pipeline would prop up her legacy project. Now the pipeline itself remains one of the enduring fucktangles yet to be efficiently completed, so appalling stupid was the initial corner cutting concept which parked itself in everyones’ hip pockets.
Fucktangles ! What a bloody cool word. Rolls off the tongue beautifully and I’ve already come up several everyday scenarios where I can use this word in a working environment !
A triangle with just two corners?
Seems the Astonisher isn’t the only one wrestling with maths, The on-line InDaily seems to have dipped out on geometry …. or has someone moved a major east coast city without our knowing.
From today’s online edition about a possible cheap flight start-up.
Modelled on British ultra low budget carrier Ryanair, Zinc is proposing to offer the cheapest domestic tickets, initially between the “Golden Triangle” of Sydney, Melbourne and Brisbane, and later adding Adelaide and the Gold Coast.
I’ve always been quite a fan of the ‘golden triangle’. Oh I remember the days of my youth.
Pie, if there were five destinations the polygon would be a pentagon in my view !
Now, The ‘Pie isn’t getting over excited, but this popped up in his Daily Astonisher feed ….
…but when he went to the story for the intriguing details, it had been dropped, deleted or otherwise found to be unpublishable.
Maybe the Bulletin hierarchy has been advised to tweak the facts a little, maybe a call from Brissy was needed … not cheat, y’know, (heaven forbid) just spin.
We’ll see. Or not.
Perhaps stenographer Lighton Smith printed some inaccurate information which needed to be pulled? As we know, The Bullshittin is notorious for getting information incorrect.
And for old Leighton to be ‘pulled’ occasionally, Prince R !
This seems to have become the Mysterious Case of the Disappearing Story. When it is Googled and the click on the link …
… and it is ‘Page Not Found’. It’s as though the paper made some catastrophic mistake – legal or angering the Astonisher’s controlling interests – and the whole thing disappeared. So was it just a massive misunderstanding and no such story exists.
Don’t tell that to the ABC, which had no such trouble, although the emphasis was slightly different.
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2025-11-18/townsville-council-tender-contract-audit/106010876
Sleepy Joe seems to be sticky when it comes to making money for himself. He was in a paid role on the board for the North Rail Yards and may still be, and he was in the media recently as the Chairman of the NQ Simulation Precinct which is presumably another paid position. Hope he is not doing these other rolaes while on the clock for TCC,
FFS, mate, this took The ‘Pie all of 2 minutes to dig up this.
When The ‘Pie is back in full flight, he will take a dim view of lazy time wasters.
Prince Ralston used to spend many hours doing his personal business activities while on the TCC clock, earning a motza from Council while doing external work rather than council work. That was a true rort. At least McCabe is doing third party work that can be quite fairly linked back to TCC community interests.
Not sure the mentioned board positions can be termed ‘third party work’, Mopsy …. the unpaid positions are overseeing the council’s interests, as one would expect from a CEO.
Whoops and oh dear, Astonisher.
An alert Nester has solved the Mystery of the Missing McCabe story. Our eagled eyed chum spotted this in Friday’s print edition.
Of course, we, the great unwashed, are unlikely to ever be apprised of just how this unexplained but monumental cock-up happened, a very serious boo-boo which may well see a perhaps monumental sum of money quietly change hands.
Would The ‘Pie be a bit up himself in suggesting that it was the old bird’s sudden reappearance and question about this clusterfuck led to the grovelling apology? Yeah, probably, the apology was no doubt the one part of a hastily agreed settlement that hit editor Jill Poulson in the arse.
It puts me in mind of a manager of a baseball team in the 1970s who would harangue umpires when they made calls with which he violently disagreed: “Are you going to get any better, or is this it?!” The same could well be asked of those at Townsville’s sorry excuse for a newspaper of record.
No matter where you are, there can be no greater amusement than opening up your Daily Astonisher and enjoy the daily cornucopia of cockups. Unfortunately, the latest lazy clusterfuck is certainly damaging to the paper’s credibility (‘it’s what? one hears you ask) and will do nothing for Townsville standing with important investment partners.
Because it seems to the Bulletin, ‘they all look alike to me’.
Take this self-promoting bit of stenography in all editions of the paper. First, the usual front page of factless puffery, with nary a detail in sight.
Then, clenching at both ends, we venture further to the story itself.
The caption introduces to this chap, purportedly Sun Metals CEO Yun Choi. In fact, so taken with the star power of this gentleman, the Astonisher treats us to a second pic in a different pose, Matt Canavan-style pose.
But there is a slight problem, the usual one where The Bulletin invites us into a Who’s On First guessing game when mid-story we read this:
…. Hang on, who? You’ve just told us-TWICE- that Sun Metals CEO is Yun Cho. But … but … but, in your very own story a little further on, you tell us ….
Now, a question for all you folks reading this down in the Bulletin bunker (of course you read The Magpie, c’mon on, you know you do): is the picture of the Sun Metals CEO Ron Lee or is it big banana himself, the man occupying the far more exalted corporate position, Korea Zinc Chairman Yun Choi?
Given the well known Korean cultural sensitivity to both business and social position, both men have every right to be miffed by this clusterfuck, one for being demoted and the other cfor the embarrassment … if they actually give a stuff about this backwoods rag.
But hey let’s cut iditor Jill Poulson a bit of slack, after all, she has understandably been diverted by a massive bollocking from her own management and greatly aggrieved others for last week allowing a potentially costly false accusation of wrongdoing by the local council and its CEO Joe McCabe.
Crikey, lay off a bit, a gal can multitask only so much. And as it turns out, not much.
Magpie, you are simply too kind. I think what you meant to say was ‘Poulson, (or is that Poultice?) is a two-bit editor of a clusterfuck poor excuse of a regional newspaper that isn’t worthy of lining the Cocky cage. Then again, a heap of bird shit spread across the pages would make it worth reading!
How many times does Phillip Thompson have to be ejected from Question Time for juvenile behaviour or suspended from Parliament for 24 hours by a vote of the House (as he was on Monday) before he gets the hint? The voters of Herbert are being let down by this guy.
Well, dunno, regardless of political affiliations, it makes sense that he creates the unwanted publicity about the shameful treatment of our vets. And it could be argued that he is doing exactly what his voters put in to do … raise hell on that and other issues that others try to shuffle into the background. At least Townsville knows it has a champion of their interests. And Bob, spare us the tired old trope that if he’s suspended, he can’t be speaking on our behalf … the Libs can’t make any difference to the current Labor juggernaut, so Phil no doubt figures breaking the rules is the best way to highlight his justifiably passionate representation.
That’s not my “tired old trope”, it’s yours. I was thinking more about the GBR Aquarium which Phil Thompson has been spruiking since he found himself with a $195m slush fund from the Haughton pipeline. About five years ago, when he was still in government and had knocked down the old Reef HQ, he gave himself a fanfare when announcing the imminent upgrade of the aquarium:
““Reef HQ is one of Townsville’s most recognisable tourist attractions, and this project will see it become our national centre of excellence for coral reef education.
“We were already investing in significant repair works to guarantee the facility’s life for decades to come, so to be able to go this extra step, do it once, and do it properly, is great for the community, visitors and the staff.
“Our city needs jobs and that’s exactly what this project delivers, while also revitalising and rejuvenating an area of the CBD in need of a bit of a facelift.”
Phil and his failing colleagues expected the job to be done by 2023. Except his government didn’t get started. They wimped out and dudded Townsville (again). Meanwhile, he offends convention, lets down that hard working part of the electorate that promotes tourism and the revitalisation of the CBD, and behaves like a jerk on national TV. Makes One Nation seem like an attractive alternative.
Nice diversion and topic switch, Bob. We were talking about him being ejected from Parliament.
Yes, well, speaking about Phillip Thompson being ejected from Parliament, he’s done it again, today. He therefore was not in the House to hear a number of matters that are directly relevant to the Herbert electorate (eg PFAS at the RAAF base) and to his shadow defence ministry. Unfortunately, Mr Thompson has form. Even before he was elected to Parliament he was apologising for stupid remarks:
“Mr Thompson said he wanted a clean slate before the election.
“The people of Townsville deserve to know who they’re voting for, they deserve to know the warts-and-all story,” he said.
“Those comments don’t reflect who I am today.”
That was then. Now, getting ejected and suspended has become so commonplace that it is reasonable to suggest it reflects what our local member has become today. He can’t help himself.
Which Labor branch do you belong to, Bob? (Denial will be treated with derision.)
Question time is all just one long insult to the listener/viewer intelligence and it’s a game mostly devoid of wit or purpose. Breaking the rules is a major rule of this game. cf Angus Taylor’s pot/kettle comment that Albanese was an ‘arrogant prick’ … he was quick to withdraw the comment, but he well knew everyone had heard it, that it would be repeated as nauseum in the media, so withdrawal was just another part of the game (like a jury being told to disregard … in other words, ‘unhear’ a certain witness remark – as if.) Being turfed from QT is neither hear nor there (joke intended), the MP will still know exactly what was said from transcripts/colleagues or watch it it on TV like everyone else – being present in QT is in itself of no consequence in this context. And – although The ‘Pie will check this- an elected member cannot be excluded from a parliamentary vote.
No wonder disenchantment with politicians is rife. But, hey, Bob, your vote will be counted next time around, so you won’t be deprived of your say.
And Phil looks like he has swallowed a beach ball. He has packed on the weight. Cut down on those Tim Tam’s and full strength beers Phil.
Uh oh. TBulletin again:
“After more than 20 years of ownership and a string of failed sales, the Gleeson Group’s landmark Hive site on The Strand may finally be on the verge of changing hands.”
Well, Bob, is this one for the once bitten, twice shy file?
it would seem Lighton Smith, stung by previous criticism and gullible fondness for the ‘beat-up’, has tempered his pants-wetting style with a cautious ‘two bob each way’ ‘may finally be on the verge’. And has wisely put all speculation in the mouth of the owner, who really says nothing more about the matter.
Perhaps Lighton thinks he has wiped the egg of his face over his previous stenographic foray into the Hive saga, when he parroted the oh-so-transparent bullshit of the (since hastily departed) white shoe Goldie developer Mark Tonge’s Centurion group. But even now, Lighton and the Bulletin are happy to remind us of that journalistic misadventure …. look closely at the fairyland ‘artist’s impression’ and note it was supplied by …. Centurion. Nothing to do with any prospective buyer.
So there is no reason to believe that any new developer will take on anything that looks remotely like the previous hokey pipe dream. And no fault of Lighton, but when you read the hoops and jumps to be covered in six months of due diligence before the mystery man might buy, caution is a very wise option.
Perhaps reporter Leighton Smith is, himself, the mystery buyer? All that money that he earns as a quality and sought after reporter in Queenslands boondocks has enabled him to become wealthy and invest heavily in this wonderful building?
I’m the mystery buyer of the Hive. As a businessman, former local government employee, frequented of Bunnings and respected community member, I have taken it upon myself to invest in this unique opportunity. I look forward to inviting all of you to future activities that will enhance this building. Stay tuned.
It’s not only the Daily Astonisher that is having a losing battle bridging the ever widening gap between credibility and the current publication (have you voted on Townsville’s best burger yet?). It seems someone out at Charters Towers hasn’t been paying attention, either.
An alert reader (nice to know quite a few have stuck with The ‘Pie during this transitional period) sent in this nightmare fodder.
In the what? Well, the brainchild of this chap …
The Gold Rush Gazette’s full title is the somewhat masturbatory eponymous Sumpton’s Gold Rush Gazette, named for this whimsical couple.
One doesn’t get a rush of confidence when reading claims that SGRG is Charters Towers’ leading newspaper, a truth that omits that it is the ONLY hard copy paper in the town, since the the venerable Northern Miner was swallowed into the great digital maw of News Ltd in 2020. It is now an online masthead only, which features rehashed stories from the Bulletin, 95% of which are about Townsville.
So in that sense, more power to the Sumptons – whatever their own real pipe dreams are and they have even gained the endorsement of the local council. But a disgraced fraudster and conman from Townsville can offer this fledgling newspaper is hard imagine.
The’ Pie concludes that the mentally damaged Thompson saw a chance for a fresh audience of cookers, and the Sumpton’s see a boost to their print run with a parallel boost in ad rates. Or maybe Dainel sees a way to some Sovereign Citizen shekels in a push to become a local string pulling Rupert.
Thompson the Con Man may have spotted a new opportunity and audience to spew his garbage but knowing the locals in Charlies Trousers, he’ll find himself on the wrong end of a runout of town turnout if he carriers on with more of his bullshit commentary. A lot of them may up there may be a bit old and slower but they don’t tolerate snake oil salesmen too well !
His first his marriage, then his party, and now his policy … Will someone please tell Barnaby he has to stop with the back-flipping ….until learns how to nail the landing.
Jeez Magpie, you’ve got a real dud down there with Jacinta Allan. Seems that she certainly assisted in Mick Gatto and the CMFEU becoming very rich. Then you’ve got her spending money changing plaques to include the word ‘honourable’. You can’t make this shit up. And we thought the hunchback Dan Andrews was putrid. This Sheila wins the award! I reckon she will be rolled in the next few weeks as she is toxic and won’t win the next election if she is at the helm.
The state of politics and finance in Victoria is worse than dare I say….Townsville.
Wouldn’t be too quick to ‘dare say it’, Mopsey.
https://www.townsvillebulletin.com.au/news/townsville/townsville-mayor-accused-of-disgraceful-conduct-in-bar-altercation/news-story/928e82a99d68e2b3b047db8c99e73beb?utm_source=TownsvilleBulletin&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Editorial&utm_content=TVB_PREM_AM-CUR_01&net_sub_id=315982935&type=curated_collection&position=2
Mayoral mayhem looks set to continue in the ‘ville, with this fine piece of reporting by Cameron Bates and Holly Fishlock in the Astonisher (seriously, really well done, both of you, although you no doubt had a. barrage of legal eagles looking over your shoulder as you tapped away). And what a pleasant surprise that the paper even reported it … although it may be iditor Jill Poulsen soiled her small clothes when she realised she had no choice, considering the number of eyewitnesses, including at least one elected representatives of the people.
One wonders what the ‘younger person’ had said or done to raise the ire of our cut price version of Claude Van Damme. Could be something to do with The’Pie’s information that Slick Nick has gained the attention of the CCC in relation to transport of illicit drugs in North Queensland? We’ll see (maybe) as this unfolds further. As The ‘Pie said at the outset of this new Walker Street stewardship, Nick is slicker than a trollop’s slot. But hardly as smart as one.
And memo Adam Baille … suddenly decided that be choosey about speaking to the media, have you, matey? May one suggest you learn that you aren’t paid to just do a bargain basement Matt Canavan with hi-vis photo ops, but get your head out of the sand and your finger out of your arxs and do what you’re paid to do … demonstrate a respect for the law, the probity of public office and don’t try to fob off reasonable questions about a matter of public concern just because Slick Nick is a Crisfulli appointment.
Seems lying mayors are becoming a Townsville thing.
And here’s a question: who’s lying? All those witnesses, or the mayor?
Slick Nick’s reply to being asked if he was in a blue … ‘I don’t believe I was’ … was so patently lawyer dictated that it was an obvious yes … simply because he declined to say a simple ‘No, I wasn’t’. And the only alternative …’I was as pissed as a maggot so I can’t recall yer ‘onner’ … won’t help his cause much either. Aggressive drunks don’t go down well in court unless they are black teenagers.
Long range forecast … our straight-talking batwoman, Suzy Batkovic, will be the next mayor … sooner (probably) than later (certainly if she wants to.)
Lovely to see you back Malcolm and in fine form too.
Yes, gone are the days when, ‘what happens on the island stays on the island’.
In years gone by, the island has hosted numerous pollies of both genders being tired and emotional. Falling out of taxis, asleep in gutters, losing their undies down the beach, and throwing up in rubbish bins, all class stuff, but back then not everyone had a mobile phone.
It is puzzling that no one has produced any pics of our Mayor having a biff or being escorted off the premises, considering the amount of people who witnessed the one round event???
I’m sure the premises has cameras. Will let you know if any appear on social media.
Please do.
The ‘Pie well recalls those days of relative anonymity, like the time he reliably reported without pictorial proof , of Mike Capt Snooze Reynolds disporting himself ostentatiously on a MI beach in a pair of bright red cossies of a revealing nature better suited to a male stripper at a hen’s night.
EXCLUSIVE EXCLUSIVE EXCLUSIVE
Townsville Enterprise is proud to announce in furthering Townsville’s claim as a world class events capital of the North, it has scored a major sporting/cultural coup in securing one of the most sought after martial arts match-ups of the modern day.
Slick Nick ‘Mayoral Mayhem’ Dametto
versus Les ‘Messagebank’ Walker. aka the Canvasback Killer.
‘This will again cement Townsville’s hard won reputation as a sporting and cultural world capital,’ TEL CO Claudia (Ms BS) Brumme Smith. ‘I am so excited I could …. ummm, as a matter of fact, excuse me a moment, I’ll be back shortly’.
The match-up will take place in the Total Tools Stadium just before kick-off of the Cowboys’ next home match. It will take place between Welcome To Country and kick-off.
‘We toyed with the idea of putting it on at half time,’ said promoter and world recognised fight referee Chris Condon, ‘but realised that was too much time for these muppets to stay upright.’ Mr Condon said the time between WTC and kick-off was 3 minutes, so the bout will be three 30-second rounds, with a 10 second breather in between. ‘Plenty of time for a result,’ Mr Condon predicted.
When Ms B-s returned, straightening her dress, she said but for TEL, this ‘world class event’ may never have got off the ground. “Only through the advocacy of Townsville Enterprise was it agreed with Mr Dametto’s demand that he not be drug-tested before or after the bout,‘ said Ms BS, as she returned straightening her dress.
Ladbroke’s has already installed Mayoral Mayhem the 10 to one on favourite. Messagebank has signed a contract promising not to cry when he loses.
Dametto says he has his sights set on taking on Troy ‘the Fighting Fibber’ Thompson next.
Mr Condon said preliminary talks were underway for the follow-up fight but said ‘there might be a problem with concussion protocols, and Fibber will have to undergo an HIA before we go ahead.’
Dametto might need to be careful, though, as Thompson has warned he was the SAS Regimental MMA champion three nights in a row.
Seems like Demento, which someone suggested, was a better Nick-name than Slick Nick after all.
Indeed.
Interesting … and personally very sad. Very good, articulate and well argued.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72ZwG3JUJXg
Looks like The Kid has been caught with his pants down … literally.
So we end up with a conman mayor replacing a conman mayor. Hilarious stuff. From Jenny to Prins the CEO to Troy to Slick Nick. A solid line of shitbags and clusterfucks leading Townsville further down the sewer line. Seriously, is our town cursed? Did some whitey somewhere kill a fucking rainbow serpent?? This city is a joke.
Yup. Fun isn’t it?
Well, he’s not so much a conman as, in this case, a knucklehead whose behaviour may be linked to body building pharmaceuticals. Be interesting to find out who the other bloke was, anybody heard anything? He’d sure have a tale to tell if he so chooses.
I personally find it amusing how the Mayor and Messagebank, supposedly upstanding citizens within the community, succumb to alcohol and barroom brawling. It’s a disgrace to our town. The long list local leaders who set a poor example has become a legacy of our town. I’m just waiting for Joe McCabe to get inducted into Townsville’s Hall of Political Brawlers.