The $100 million debate the Townsville Bulletin won’t let you have: will the ‘super stadium’ be all that super for ratepayers?

Is the Astonisher running a beads and blankets for the natives agenda, diverting attention away from more serious underlying matters? The ‘Pie investigates. Also, a berk to run for Labor in the Burdekin? Les Messagebank Walker fails to deny that he’ll front for Labor there, and his bluster sounds more like campaigning – but there is one big argument as to why he won’t give it a gallop.

And lots of other fun, including a couple of the best CyberSpace Junk posting of the week.

But first, with all the heady national and world news swirling around us, Bentley was fascinated by the pause-giving tale of the ummm … ins and outs of one David William Watts. It’s a yarn that has plenty to contemplate, including perhaps the dumbest and most expensive cop blooper for years, and a challenge to newspaper sub-editors.

The story, in case you missed it – and maybe you will want to – involves this bloke.

In November last year, Mr Watts decided to rob a Brisbane jewellery store, and in oafish episode, grabbed a couple of rings – and swallowed them. He was arrested soon afterwards, placed in custody and told to recover the booty – he had been arrested in a near-by chemists, so perhaps he was seeking aid in the recovery operation.

Now, we frequently hear that policemen often have to get their hands dirty to solve crimes, but this wasn’t one of those cases. Watts was told it was going to be a do-it-yourself effort. However, despite using metal scanners and observing from a safe distance, the wallopers missed one of the rings, worth around $27,000, and they say they may have thrown it out in the bag Mr Watts was required to use as a toilet. It’s being investigated if it fact the rozzers pinched it. A sort of twist on the old ‘the dog ate my homework’ ploy.

Couldn’t get more bizarre, ya reckon? Try this. Mr Watts himself recovered the second ring, but didn’t let on. He washed in the shower, tied a piece of string to it … and swallowed it again. All because he believed the cops had stolen the first one. Of course, he doesn’t hold with that sort of behavior, and didn’t want it to be the fate of the second one. It seems the string disappeared down there too, so surgery was required to recover it. Bentley for one finds the whole thing distasteful.

Mr Watts was given a six months suspended jail sentence and ordered to pay $11,000 compensation. Outside the court, Mr Watts told the waiting news hounds  – and we trust the subs were on the ball when checking the reporter’s copy : “It wasn’t my onus to do it, as the judge said up there, it was their onus,” he told reporters, referring to the recovery process. One trusts that ‘onus’ is the right word – maybe.

But the story doesn’t even end there.

The ring – that’s it – was polished up and auctioned off for charity. Which could lead to an understable misunderstanding.

‘Hey, Deidrie, my love, I got this ring for you.’

‘Really? Oh, Neville, darl, no shit!?!’

‘Course not, washed again me self, didn’t I?’

And we will leave that touching scene and the story right there.

But that isn’t the only ring The ‘Pie has some questions about this week.

It would seem the Iditor of Townsville Bulletin has turned into Gollem from the Lord of the Rings.

But the ‘ring’ with which he is besotted to the point of dementia comes in the form of the circle a much-desired stadium, a super-stadium in fact.

A bit of background. A year or so ago, there sprang into our consciousness, straight out of nowhere, that we needed a new entertainment/football stadium/ convention centre, and it had to be in the CBD, around where the South Townsville Railway Yards are now. Kapow, this all suddenly appeared.

The Astonisher Iditor, given his riding orders by backroom movers and shakers in town, figured this was a great idea for the paper to pound the bejesus out of, to grab readers and ultimately, make some lucrative lucre. That ‘readers’ bit hasn’t quite worked out, but the paper has made this one its own, claiming it as their initiative and campaign. And that’s all well and good, but these little baubles come at a price … in this case, an estimated $315 million.

So we’ve had endless articles about how it will be great for Townsville (which it will – under the right financial circumstances), how it will be pivotal in making the city ‘come of age’ (pur-bloody-eeese!) and best of all, the state and federal governments should pay for it all.

And good luck with that. And naturally, The Bulletin isn’t tempted to put up any dough itself, oh no siree Bob.

Then Kid Crisafulli, choosing his words carefully during the week, made it clear that this was most likely a three-way deal, and would involve the council to a greater or lesser degree. An earlier suggestion canvassed the $100 million X 3 (council, state, feds) equation, but somehow, the rhetoric has conveniently died down on that aspect, and the mayor and councillors hope they can back well away from possibility. It’ll be interesting if they can’t.

And there’s part of the problem. With the exception of a couple of buried, harrumphing letters, The Astonisher has published virtually no other debate on any other possibility – particularly opposition to the idea. And The ‘Pie hears there’s plenty of opposition out there, and whether it be business or individual, and whether they are right or wrong, they’re all ratepayers with a say in the priorities for this community. The sort of thing a paper is supposed to air.

The other elephant in the room is that no matter what anyone in Walker Street says, it’s a pretty good bet that the ratepayers will be asked to pony up a big chunk of the cost. The ‘Pie sees nothing untoward in this, and the dills who try to raise the bogeyman of debt will be shrill, long and loud. Their ignorance of the crucial difference between debt and deficit has long become tedious. But that financial possibility, largely ignored by the paper, is why the Townsville Bulletin’s fixated stance smacks of a ‘beads and and blankets for the natives’ ploy, some shiny trinkets to divert the hotheads away from any underlying reality.

But The Astonisher doesn’t seem to want to fulfill its role as the major media voice for all of us (well, that’s their view of themselves) and just uncritically beats the drum for the project.

It’s the debate the paper doesn’t want and won’t promote. It is certain that those who see themselves as the ‘we know best’ leaders of this town have the Astonisher’s Iditor by the short and curlies. So he seems happy to keep the vast majority of ratepayers outside the CBD voiceless.. It would seem that pommy PM Stanley Baldwin’s famous 1931 blast at the newspapers of the day ‘All power and no responsibility – the prerogative of the harlot down the ages’ is also apt in this case.

A reader who calls himself Eliot Ness has pointed The Magpie to the Facebook page of independent councilor Pat Ernst, who appears to be arguing for a widening of the debate, too. It is apparent he thinks a fair way to let everyone have their say is to publish the hitherto elusive feasibility report, minus any sensitive ‘commercial in confidence’ matter, and let people make up their own minds. Clr Ernst thinks that would be a better way to spend money than hiring a gun to put the positive spin on it.

But when the council comes up with dough – as i has –  to ‘sell’ the idea –that is ‘sell’ not ‘consult’, ‘discuss’ or ‘take the public pulse’ – and brings in one of the smartest cookies in this town, Dolan Hayes to highlight the many upsides of the proposal, (and there are many) then an open ‘all-sided’ debate is imperative. And if not, why not?

The world and his wife are going have opinions on this, and just for a fire starter, The ‘Pie opines a couple of things.

The super stadium is the right idea if defined down to what it should be, and if the money is manageable by all parties. The paper is already treating the asset sale of the Townsville port as a done deal (where state money is likely to come from for the stadium), ignoring the political reality of a possible massive loss of LNP seats next year and a re-think on that policy. Unlikely but possible.

Another thought. Could not a tender for an investor for say $50m or more be nationally or even internationally advertised to own what would surely be a lucrative convention/entertainment component, where expos could also be a big drawcard. There should be some thinking outside the box when it comes to financing this venture. And if that is what  the folks down at Wishing Well House (aka Enterprise House) are doing, it would be smart to let us lesser beings know about it.

Referring to the Gollem  illustration, The ‘Pie suggests that it is the wrong site for the project … it should be on the railway yards site, a big better site with better space for car parking (doubling up as CBD parking during the day) which would leave the site illustrated available for further residential development.

If narrow self interest hijacks and drives this project, it will in no time become a clunker leaving us to rue what might have been.

Narrow self-interest?

Well, now, hand The ‘Pie that can opener, a feast of worms is about to be released. In terms of sport, this project cannot be dictated by the NRL alone, to the exclusion of all other stadium sporting interests in Townsville.

A few weeks ago, Astonisher sports jock Anthony Stewart wrote a perceptive article that suggested inter alia that the stadium should be for more than Rugby League and the Cowboys, but should have a moveable seating configuration to accommodate cricket in the summer, and even AFL in the winter. Plus other suitable events.

Anthony also chucked in a moveable roof because of our moveable weather, which would be fine if you are happy to pony up half as much again for the project. Like many good ideas – such as Clive Palmer going on a diet – it is sensible but never gonna happen.

We are also yet to hear how those businesses out towards the current venue – Dairy Smiles Willows 1300 Farmers stadium or whatever – feel about all this and what impact they face.

The ‘Pie ends his rambling thoughts with the cautionary tale of Melbourne’s misadventure of Waverley’s VFL Park. Purpose built in the late 60s, it was a clunker virtually from the start, mainly because it was out in the sticks. In little more than two decades, all the action was contracting back into the more central areas of Melbourne – and thus it is today. And things are booming.

That lesson from yesterday could be our lesson for tomorrow.

Moving along.

Member for Burdekin, The Iron Maiden Rosie Menkens, flushed out a somewhat befuddled Les Messagebank Walker during the week when she publicly challenged him to ‘come clean’ and admit he is the next Labor candidate for the Burdekin.

Like the former school marm she is, Rosie pursed her lips and decided she’d had enough of the Townsville councilor for Division 10 endlessly gas-bagging about state issues.

You could just see her tapping her foot and gently hitting the cane in her palm when she wrote:

“Ratepayers have a right to know if their rates are actually paying for Cr Walker to electioneer in the lead-up to the next State Government election,” Mrs Menkens said.

“Opposition Leader Annastacia Palaszczuk admitted in Parliament on February 11 this year that Labor had candidates out there door-knocking and running mobile offices. Who is funding Cr Walker’s caravan and his time spent on State Government matters whilst he’s employed by the ratepayers of Townsville?

“It’s time for Cr Walker to come clean – is he a councillor or a Labor sleeper cell?”

That brought Les stumbling and blinking out into the sunlight, to deliver what can only be a classic non-response to the question, published  in the Ayr Advocate. It certainly wasn’t a rebuttal … as in ‘No, I’m not a candidate for the Burdekin’, more a ‘you’ll just have to wait and see’

In what sounded like a state campaign pitch, Messagebank  fired off:

‘She’s upset with me because I’m constantly reminding her she needs to get out of the Burdekin and make and effort to meet and understand the needs of people in Townsville’s southern suburbs. People have no idea who she is around these parts and that’s incredibly disappointing’, said an incredibly disappointed Les.

But he wasn’t finished, not by a long chalk.

‘Her electorate which includes many people in my division has some of the highest unemployment rates in Australia, especially youth unemployment.’

The party political over, Les managed to stay a bull roar away from any denial of his possible candidacy when he added,’I am 100 per cent focused on the interests of the ratepayers in my division and am committed to them’. Well, that’s welcome news for the folks of his division, even if it is a bit late.

The ‘Pie says that because the description ‘sleeper cell’ is an apt description of Les Walker’s time as a Townsville councilor so far. The ‘Pie’s merry jest about ‘Messagebank’ is no joke for many locals trying to contact him, and if they do fluke it through, The ‘Pie has been told by several that they’ve been airily fobbed off to some council department.

Les must be personally torn on the issue of state v council. On the one hand, his ego probably demands that he have a gallop for glory at the next level up, but then, he is monumentally lazy in his council role, and a spot at state would mean he’d actually have to work, and be overseen doing it. The money probably wouldn’t be that much different, so we’ll just have to wait and see if ego wins out over inertia.

Other matters.

There’s always a different way of looking at things, as Gina Rinehardt says while using a mirror and two hands. So it was a completely fresh take on the tribulatioins of disgraced bicycle rider Lance Armstrong for one sympathizer in an American paper.

 Clever heading, too.

Best putdown of the week was deservedly copped by multi-millionaire  pommy golfer Ian Poulter.

He was rightly pissed off that the sixth business class seat he had booked with British Airways for the nanny of his four kids was downgraded. Whe he tweeted pompously about it, he copped a twitter-storm, the best this one.

Sarcasm can be stiletto-sharp funny.

And here is a little pearler Need to hit this link, not the pic) of a tit-twisting put-down for a rabid racist (OK, it is an ad, but these people do exist).

Of course, there could be a few surprise endings for Rolf Harris, too.

Hey, those last two items are among a whole heap of them uploaded during the week to the CyberSpace Junk page, which is always good for a quick scroll through laugh. Just go to the Magpie page, (don’t open the blog) scroll down to CyberSpace Junk and click on ‘Good for a giggle-break’.

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