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The Magpie

Saturday, April 30th, 2022   |   118 comments

SHE’S BACK!! Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid. Jackboot Jenny Interprets The Rules To Stifle Dissent

Questions abound. Why was it necessary to publicly talk tough about running council meetings? Is jenny Hill not finally aware that she is increasingly regarded as an incompetent bully? Why feed the flames? The Magpie thinks he knows why.

Parading by the political colours has long been standard party procedure, but a new shade has joined the traditional campaign colour chart of red, blue, green, and yellow … let’s talk teal. And it’s got nothing to do with The Magpie’s feathered brethren.

More evidence that the end is a bit nigher right now for the Townsville Bulletin …

… and the DIY video that really should be the DDIY video – Don’t Do It Yourself. Not the usual Magpie territory (both DIY and videos) but this one is a bobby dazzler – a surprise ending -well, maybe not for those with an IQ bigger than their shoe size, ..

… plus our regular illustrated gallery of the week in the good ol’ Yew Ess of Eh?

What a bugger, another long weekend, the third in a row. The Magpie is acutely aware of how this run of consecutive barbies and booze eats into the wallets and purses of the potentially generous Nest readers. So being ever caring, the old bird this week will spare you the usual wheedlings for some financial help – despite a week that included a potentially costly software failure and a TV that (almost literally) blew up. So put away your guilty consciences until next week, and have a great Labour Day.

Now, to the doin’s of the day …

Oh, Yoo Hoo, Calling Dolan Hayes …

… you’re old political love needs you.  Badly.

Mayoral departures are messy drawn-out affairs in this town. A few years ago, we were witness to the Looney Mooney period during the closing days of His Radiance’s reign, with arbitrary rulings, angry outbursts and reports he overruled his own planning people on aspects of the Flinders Street East make-over debacle. And at the behind it all was panic at the first real challenge he had faced in Les Tyrell.

And now it seems we are being treated to the unedifying spectacle of Mad Mullet period as Jenny Hill deals with her own growing insecurities.

Jenny wonderwoman Screen Shot 2020-02-27 at 11.15.58 am

In an extraordinary outburst of tell tale panic, Hill used last Wednesday’s council meeting to make a thinly disguised public attack on one single councillor, while not having the gumption to name the target of her bullying, Clr Fran O’Callaghan. Although to her credit Bulletin reporter Caitlin Charles put two and two together.

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Bentley reckons there’ll be some modifications to the seating arrangements in the council chamber.

EJECT SEAT finBut jokes aside, the attack was quite extraordinary any way you look at it.

For a start, there’s the question of overkill … the issue arose from the previous council meeting, where Clr O’Callaghan continued trying to make a point after the mayor had arbitrarily cut her off. The mayor got very bolshie very quickly, but it was all a minor kerfuffle that made few ripples and could have been addressed quietly in a discussion afterwards. That leads to the next question, that of leadership. Is this the way to gain respect of those who elect councillors to air their views on issues?  Of course meetings can’t be a free for all, and yes, there are rules governing conduct, but this then hearkens back to the first two questions of overkill and respectful, tactful leadership.

But the biggest question is why? Here is a putative Labor leader who has by one means or another, got nine of the ten councillors well and truly under her thumb – 9 out of 10 FFS!!! (Blom hardly makes a squeak nowadays, must be getting used to the pay check.) Most politicians who understand the exercise of power know a majority like this should be used with discretion. That Clr O’Callaghan regularly voted against the usual aerobics hand raising session in council cannot be the cause of Jenny’s almost bizarre behaviour, so full of bombast and self-regard …’ I will no longer tolerate any councillor speaking over me’ and ‘I have exercised restraint in not exercising my powers so far’ then the priceless ‘I will direct that the microphones be muted to ensure my directions about meeting conduct can be heard.’

So it is now crystal clear that the mayor has been spooked by the response Clr O’Callaghan is receiving to her outspoken questioning of Hill’s secretive incompetence and presidential style rule . The ‘Pie suspects that much of O’Callaghan’s support simply comes from people who appreciate her having the courage to call enough on this inept, dense, despotic tinpot imitation of a leader. And the mayor must’ve been alarmed to learn that in her absence on holidays in Malta,  Frothy Molachino was making soothing noises and sensible announcements.

Even our old mate, the council’s former angry ant councillor and Labor stalwart , Paul Jacob, called out Mayor Mullet in a letter to the paper.

jacob letter Screen Shot 2022-04-30 at 7.00.58 pm

Funny though, when Townsville First held a handy majority on council, Jenny Hill never once … NOT ONCE … voted with any of the many worthwhile proposals that the Tyrell administration put forward. But never once … NOT ONCE … did she receive ever the bullying, high-handed treatment she is handing out the Fran O’Callaghan.

Weak kneed and cowardly.

The Clock Is Ticking On The Bulletin

A month or two back, The Magpie predicted that the end is in sight for the printed version of the Townsville Bulletin, with a shortage of newsprint supply edging up the cost of paper. Well, forget edging up, try skyrocketing.

paper costs Screen Shot 2022-04-26 at 8.04.35 am

‘Price rise of up to 80% and orders only half filled’? Even Harvey Norman’s fabled gold-plated wheelbarrow can’t tip in enough to News Ltd coffers to keep papers like the Astonisher in Townsville and the Cairns Post even marginally viable. The end to the long print era is unavoidable, and more than just The Magpie will be deeply saddened at the passing of a centuries old community focal point.

Sure, there’ll, still be an online version of all those papers that currently exist, but that will never be the same as the daily walk to the front gate or down to the newsagents to get the regular serving of news, sport, form guide and crosswords.

With the predictions of the paper mills price rises, and the cynical lowering of journalistic standards, there is no prospect of a Bulletin price rise saving the day. Many have already dropped off, anyway unconvinced that the often shoddy content is worth $2.50.

But the Bully is putting on a brave face, seeking to entice more folks through the staff turnstile which is spinning faster than Linda Blair’s head in The Exorcist.

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NB ‘News Editor’ is one down from THE editor. And the News Editor is the person who should prevent this sort of thing below happening … an inexplicable mistake … unless ‘they’ all look the same to the court reporter at the time. And you may rest assured coin … a lot of it … changed hands.

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And what does this say about a paper that’s tells the community ‘we’re for you.’


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Not even for one fucking day could this paper allow the diggers to have their annual day of dignity without making some fucking money … and an egregious political ad from Palmer, to boot.

They really are uncaring bastards. Since The ‘Pie is in the mood, make that uncaring fucking bastards.

But In The Meantime …

Given the growing gold standard of ordinary old newsprint, there will be added reason for a smartening up by the techos down at the Bulletin. For some unfathomable reason, there is a technical glitch that has emerged over the past six months, where the same page is printed twice, sometimes in different parts of the paper, sometimes side by side. Like this last weekend.

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That about the fourth time … The ‘Pie reported on one of the glitches a month or two ago. No doubt, some wire bender somewhere forgot to plug the frappel hose into the glammis.

TEAL Politics: Out To STEAL This Election.

You may have heard the new term ‘teal’ related to independent candidates in the federal election. The coinage actually originated in New Zealand and has migrated here for this election to describe a group of independents whose policies position put them somewhere between the Libs (blue) and the Greens (green, natch) thus ‘teal’, a shade between blue and green. Like this.


Although not an organised party, a clutch of candidates across the country have the same platforms, most are women, and almost all the targets are some of Australia’s wealthiest electorates. And the Libs particularly are panicking about this sudden emergence on their traditional turf, because the teal’s are on the steal … from the Libs. And they  can’t be easily dismissed … all can tap into a considerable piggy bank filled to overflowing from donors which include the Climate 200 group.

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So what exactly are they on about? Noted election analyst Anthony Green offered this summary: “The common themes they’re running on are climate change — that the government needs to do something about climate change — and the need to do something about an independent commission against corruption, so integrity in politics,” he says. They’re tapping into a perception amongst some Liberal voters that the government isn’t doing enough about either of those issues.”

The measure of near panic in the conservative camp … particularly the climate scoffing Nats … is evidenced in all News Ltd papers this weekend with a catty column co-authored by Mr and Mrs Barnaby Joyce under the name Vikki Campion. The column is a nasty grubby ‘little rich bitch’ piece of pants wetting about North Sydney TEAL candidate Kylea Tink

To get up to speed on this interesting new political wrinkle – as The ‘Pie had to, it really has bobbed up out of nowhere – you can read further analysis by Anthony Green in this ABC explainer. The exciting thing for dispassionate tally room watchers is that there are at least 15 TEAL candidates across the country , all running for the House of Reps. If even a third of that number get up – and seasoned observers say they very well could … that will change the face of Australian Federal politics significantly.

Other Election Notes: Just For Larfs.

Bugger it, if they won’t take us seriously, let’s return the compliment.

First this, the political barbie.

And just gotta love the almost quick thinking of a Smirko loyalist, making sure the PM didn’t wander into shot and onto social media with a certain sign in the background … but a hasty toss of a HiVis jacket wasn’t quick enough.

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And the folks at The Shovel aren’t easing up.

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Has A Bully Journo Been Moonlighting a Second Job?

At the DMR …?


Just one word, that’s all he had to do, just one. (Yes, yes, clearly in the US – just bloody laugh.)

Speaking Of Jobs …

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Anybody checked the hiring protocols for the security industry lately? You might have this bloke on the door down in Via Vomitorium any day now. To ensure a safe environment, y’know.

Musk, Mickey Mouse And Madness

In the US, just another week like last week. Florida governor takes on Mickey Mouse over Disney’s repudiation of his gay legislation  but the real villain for just about everybody this week was Elon Musk and his reputed – from from settled – purchase of Twitter.

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Final Matters …

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The Magpie totally agrees with this edict from Vogue New York … but where are the other 15?

Mind you, with The ‘Pie’s luck, they will have just come out of the closet.

Gosh Who Could’ve Guessed?

This has apparently happened two or three years ago, but always worth another dekko as great example of Do It Yourself Don’t … a bloke found an ant nest in his backyard, decided to get rid of them by pumping bottled gas into the main hole, and then toss a match.

The ants were probably appreciative of the free renos. The dogs not so much.


Yet another short week is almost gone. Plenty of opinion floating around comments, they’re great fun, join in if you have something you want to get of your chest. And remember, despite the big button below that says ‘donate’, ignore it and have a week off … you can start feeling guilty next week heh heh heh.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. Mike Douglas says:

    What image Mean Girl Jenny Hill had left is taking a battering and if that is the advise of the Mayors $100k a year strategist they arnt asking the right questions . Labor turning on Labor with Paul Jacob suggesting the Mayor is tired and Liam Mooney asking why ratepayers paid rates for 80, 90, 100 yrs in Hermit Park and West End dont have their drainage fixed . Did Magpie retiree / welfare / jobseeker followers receive their $250 this week from the Feds ? . Notice our 3 local State MP,s + Mayor dont mention the rental crisis and cost of living issues or solutions in the Ville . Townsvilles Public housing waitlist has grown 170 % the past 5 years . How many people is the State paying accommodation $ for in Bowen rd Hotels weekly ?.

    • Footloose says:

      Crazy idea

      Why don’t the multitude of people waiting for public housing GET A JOB and find a rental ? Lots of other people GET A JOB and pay their own rental costs, get a mortgage or if things are too bad MOVE town. In the downturn a few years back people moved or struggled along against the tide. Despite the public housing shortage you always see these oppressed people wrecking their house and getting away with it, full of garbage, overgrown, breeding the next generation of domestic violence, alcohol abuse. We need to stop giving people free money.

      • The Magpie says:

        That is so densely, callously, incoherently, basely stupid that The ‘Pie doesn’t where to begin. So he won’t.

        • Dave of Kelso says:

          Dear ‘Pie,

          In part Footloose is correct. Within 3 km of my place 3 housing commission houses have been burnt down over the years. One house around the corner was destroyed 3 times by 3 ‘family groups’. Rebuild twice and on the third time boarded up for about 7 years. Finally sold and now a lovely home. Around here the housing commission houses are sorely neglected by occupants who don’t care one jot. Hand outs from cradle to grave. It is overdue that a policy of mutual responsibility be instigated.

          Oh fuck, I used THAT word. RESPONSIBILITY.

          • The Magpie says:

            The ‘Pie’s point about ScrewLoose’s comment is summed up in that great line from the movie HUD …’Don’t shoot all the dogs because one of ‘em have got fleas’. There are people, families out there who ‘live lives of quiet desperation’, and struggle without being bad tenants, bad parents or lazy, just part of the working poor. Sometimes they need society’s hand up … not hand out. So yes, the folks you talk about Dave are no more than criminals, leeching on society, but not everyone either out of work or living in a HC area should be tarred with the same brush.

            And to both of you, neither has considered the unintended consequences of your solution … more crime, and an escalation in violent offenses. No matter what causes it, desperation is a real driver of illegal actions. And silly ‘solutions’ don’t help anyone.

          • Dave of Kelso says:

            Dear ‘Pie,
            Mutual responsibility is not a silly solution.

          • The Magpie says:

            Your right, it’s not a silly solution, it’s an impossible ideal for a small cohort of people who receive social assistance., which tends to make it … well, a silly solution. To repeat The ‘Pie’s point, creating a stigma across a whole social strata because of the behaviour of a minority of irresponsible and criminally inclined is a very ignorant and unhelpful attitude. Callous, too.Do you drive a Toyota, Dave? If you do, The ‘Pie knows an habitual criminal who also drives a Toyota … so using your and Screw Loose’s logic, that makes you a criminal, too.

  2. Prince Rollmop says:

    Magpie, that is a well written exposé about the Mullet. Harvey Normans should be advertising on YOUR forum. But her rant about people speaking over her or speaking out of line, has very interesting timing. A months hiatus is a long time in politics and it’s obvious that she has come back from Malta in a very panicked state. She fears being white anted as it’s something that she would do to a serving Mayor if the tables were turned. So she has come back all fired up and is eager to once again make sure that her authoritative stamp is put on Townsville and the fellow pussy-whipped Councillors (except for the intelligent and erstwhile Fran).

    The Mullets comments are in her way a warning that she will be hobbling any perceived dissenters. She is an arrogant piece of shit, and is a nasty vitriol spewing bully and narcissist. I hope Fran takes up the challenge to expose the Mullet in every avenue possible, whether that be during council meetings, on Frans personal webpage, through letters to local newspapers or via any other means possible. The Mullet is panicking and buckling under pressure so now is the time to heap more on her. Perhaps Fran could have a weekly spot in the Magpies Nest? I would also like to see a strong collaborative and public friendship between Phil Thompson and Fran. That would have the Mullet wetting her adult nappies in an instant!

    • The Magpie says:

      You make a good point about the effect of the holiday break on Mayor Mullet’s mindset. It has a faint whiff of ‘one last go’, or ‘The Mullet’s Last Stand’.

      In a flight of whimsy, The ‘Pie envisaged Jenny in a Valetta coffee shop, talking earnestly with an old bloke with wrinkled leathery features and piercing brown eyes which are just slits under a cloth flat cap, his gnarled hands folded over the knob on top of a sturdy misshapen walking stick. She had sought his advice on how to handle her deteriorating political situation. She is heard to repeatedly saying to the old man,’But Tony, that’s not allowed in Australia, and anyway, it’s difficult to have a shotgun without the cops knowing who the owner is.’ They then decide the best way to go is use the power of the mayoral chair to make a personal attack on her dissenter, which cannot be answered without risking ejection from the chamber. And before they part company, Jenny can be heard saying, ‘As much as I’d like to, Tony, The Maltese Surprise method of handling unfriendly media is also frowned on in Australia … besides, The Magpie’s old car is so old and rusty, you probably couldn’t attach a magnetic bomb.’

      The answer to whether Clr O’Callaghan could have a weekly spot incorporated into The Nest, the answer is a definitive ‘no way’. The Magpie is happy to support Fran’s courage and conviction to speak out against our mayoral dictator and the compliant arm aerobics class of current councillors, but giving her a regular forum (which she probably wouldn’t want anyway) in The Nest would obviate any future criticism that may be merited.

      This is not a question of loyalty or disloyalty … as a leading economist John Kenneth Galbraith once said ‘I change my mind when circumstances and facts change – what do you do?‘, and The Magpie never wants to lose that ability.

      The ‘Pie will continue to pass on valuable messages from Fran’s website in her fight for transparency and fairness, and any other message she wants to send in, but in doing so, that is not the same as unconditional acceptance of whatever her entire platform may turn out to be. Already, The Magpie tends to disagree with some of the blanket policies about limits and eligibility for council grants to local bodies … especially her spray about the arts recently. And let’s be clear, the council needs more outspoken, ungagged councillors like Fran O’Callaghan, but that does not necessarily mean that she would have the skill, vision or patience to become the mayor this city so desperately needs.

      But however things develop in that arena, what Townsville does need is her spirit of honesty and openness in local government that so cynically lacking behind the current mantras like commercial in confidence, legal bullying by third rate council lawyers, and secret squirrel meetings of the faithful.

      • Prince Rollmop says:

        Very well worded and articulate reply my feathered friend. To quote Taggart from Blazing Saddles; “you use your tongue better than a $20 whore”. But I particularly like your Malta theory. Brilliant story telling. I really enjoyed it. Perhaps you could team up with J.K Rowling and write a new novel series about Mullet, TCC and Malta?

        • The Magpie says:

          The way things are going right now, Mayor Mullet is going to need Dolan Malfoy in peak form to get in again.

      • Ralph says:

        I’ve said this before Fran has a column in the People’s Choice which I think is great, I know you weren’t really impressed with the PC however it must be read by a few Townsville people and therefore her comments must passed on to others, her column this week was about the pipeline and why there aren’t more updates to the ratepayers (monthly), I stated before I’m lucky to read it for free at the TUH. Take care Ralph.

  3. No Moss says:

    As a non-mathematical type person, I don’t understand Economics, the Stock Exchange, Finance in general, Accounting, oh, and so many others.
    So, do you mind to explain to me why the price of almost everything that is “buyable” has risen so much, please. I notice with my groceries that most items haven’t just gone up 5/10/15/even 20 cents but at least 50 and often 80c to $1!! Obviously, with larger items, that amount increases markedly.

    What is the cause of this and why is it necessary? A huge percentage of our own people can’t afford to buy meat. Is that a good thing? Also, as someone who is most naïve regarding her fellow men and women, is it because of that extremely rich nucleus of “oligarchs” who rule the world? Surely, having another level of poverty in a country, any country, can’t be good or do they just not care – but like I said, I wouldn’t and don’t know and I would like someone to explain it to me.

    Genuine question.

    • Mike Douglas says:

      No Moss , 4.250 box ships are the normal size of Ships arriving in Australia and the cost per day has increased from $32,200 a day to $151,400 due to issues getting containers ( Chinese manufacturing was closed down ) Fuel and other overheads / increases supply + demand . Ukraine and Russia supplied 14 % of the Worlds Wheat . Russia supplies 30 % of Europes Gas so energy prices have doubled and may triple in these areas . Wholesale price of Electricity in Australia has increased 150 % so for those like Steve Belgian Gardens who claim renewables are cheaper than Coal are being tested . Then add backpackers returning to their Countries and issues picking fruit + veg and shearing sheep . I cant see things improving for sometime . Where is the Qld Govt cost of living support Aaron / Scott / Les ? .

      • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

        What do you think is being tested? Surging coal and gas prices make renewables an even better deal than they were already.

        • Mike Douglas says:

          Steve , i knew i would get a bite and its great you found time between your consultancy role TTE Townsville educating the people of Townsville on some many subjects as well as John Rings campaign manager . Whats being tested 1) why with billions $ of renewables wholesale energy prices have tripled . Coal Prices have increased due to demand but lets not forget the Queensland Government owns two mines and generates over the 60% of the States energy and with Ergon having the monopoly are regional Queenslanders being milked . Qld State Debt transferred to the GOC and the fact that some solar / wind are waiting years to be connected to the grid due to insufficient upgrades to poles and cables . 2) will S.A. / Vic be able to meet the energy needs after forging ahead on renewables . Currently based on the energy app Qld is selling energy to NSW at $243.07 / Victoria selling energy to both NSW +S.A. $227.00 .

          • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

            1) Fossil fuels still make up ~69% of the NEM
            2) Yes, they’re part of the NEM

          • The Magpie says:

            Question off topic, Steve – why do you call yourself Steve here, but the more friendly Stevie in TTE? Don’t you like us, mate.

        • I’ll Be Plucked says:

          Stevie, do you and M’a Kelly use green energy at the laundromat?

          • Ma Kelly says:

            I’ll Be Plucked, not I’ll be plucked, we see a large number of folks in here powered by green energy.
            Problem is, they blow smoke everywhere just outside the laundromat door, then come inside and stare at the washers and dryers! :)

    • NQ Gal says:

      Economics 101 – supply and demand. Currently there is short supply, while demand has either stayed the same or increased. Meat costs have risen as farmers are currently trying to rebuild herd numbers after years of drought and then floods. Not as many are being sent to market. What is going to market is getting huge prices which is passed down the chain to the consumer.
      That applies to just about everything at the moment.

  4. The Magpie says:

    Even approaching his era of creaking codgerdom, The Magpie continues to live and learn. Sometimes it’s surprising details of the most unusual subjects. Take this, this morning as an instance.

    The Magpie learnt two things from this story.
    1. There is no such thing as a ‘rodeo clown’. Do you mind! They are ‘protection athletes’.
    2. When a man voluntarily enters an arena and run directly at a raging bull, and gets headbutted in the stomach and kicked in the head, that is not … as most of us mistakenly believe … ‘inevitable’, it is ‘freakish’, according to the rodeo boss.
    By the way, the ‘protection athlete’ is OK. Well, physically.

  5. Achilles says:

    NSW Premier has gone all PC bullshit he has “banned” the use of mate as a form of address.


  6. Kenny Kennett says:

    Interesting that when AnAl released his bullshit housing affordability policy today, sitting in the front row of the happy clappers was the man in charge of the books when so many Australians lost their homes as the interest rates topped 18%. And next to him was Angry man Kevin 07. Two top blokes to seek advice on. I would’ve loved to know their real thoughts on AnAl.

  7. Kenny Kennett says:

    Minister in the British Government caught watching porn in Parliament. Yes, yes, yes Minister!
    Careerist interruptus

    • The Magpie says:

      True quote from some years ago. A British MP was fumbling and got tongue-tied when speaking in the House of Commons, and apologised, saying ‘I’m suffering from a bit of verbal coitus interruptus today’. An opposing member immediately yelled out ‘WITHDRAW! WITHDRAW!’.

    • John Holmes says:

      Yep, an appropriate place for an appropriate video as it was either the one in which Margaret Thatcher does naked star jumps or it was the one in which the British parliamentarians fucked all of the UK taxpayers. Both videos are disturbing.

    • Polythene Pam says:

      Give the man a break – he’s a farmer and was searching for “Dominator” tractors.

    • The Magpie says:

      From London Guardian:

  8. Pat Coleman says:

    On the ABC 730 report story about the independents , the lib they interviewed exclaimed that if they were all getting funded by the same people then they are a party.

    That’s exactly what I have been saying for years about Labor and the LNP.

    They are funded by the same mafia. They ARE the same mafia. They are the house. Compulsory preferential voting means the house always wins and you can’t refuse to vote for people you despise.

    In effect, we have the Hong Kong system.

  9. Lady Byron says:

    Wonderful blog as normal Pie. But I was a bit disappointed there was no mention of the, ahem, gymnastics, going on the prayer room at our Parliament House? Takes the sound of someone in that room, saying “oh God! “ to a completely different level?? Is there a similar room in our Council chambers I wonder? (Sorry, my mind works in strange ways!!). Regards LB

    • Duncan Biscuit says:

      Lady B, despite the criticism of her faults, the Mullet is transparent when it comes to fucking rate payers. She likes to do it in plain sight in the Council Chamber. At least now they can turn the mics off so we don’t hear the groans.

    • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

      M’lady, we call it the HR Department because people are always getting fucked over and stumbling out saying “Oh God!”

  10. The Wulguru Wonder says:

    Well, that didn’t take long, did it?
    The Olympic gravy train picks up its first passenger….who just happens to be the Premier’s partner.

    This looks like the most formal of ‘informal’ meetings I’ve ever seen for someone without any official capacity in the Olympic bid or organisation to attend. I wonder if the QLD taxpayer was billed for his travel and accommodation costs? (I know, very much a rhetorical question).

    • Prince Rollmop says:

      Yep. And the Courier Snail has photos of all these pompous fools sitting at a pretty flash restaurant sitting, all informal of course!

      Toot Toot all aboard the gravy train! All tickets are redeemable for cash. Stopping at all bank stations to the Olympics Toot Toot.

  11. Prince Rollmop says:

    Interesting information coming to light about Aspen Medical being given more than $1 billion in government PPE contracts despite no experience in large-scale procurement. Minister Hunt is mates with one of the companies Executives. Plus Aspen had other previous Government contracts which were not renewed because they were a clusterfuck and didn’t deliver on their contractural promises. Just another example of politicians looking after friends and acting without due diligence or exercising robust governance. No wonder they are stalling on setting up an ICAC, the crooked fuckers.

    • NQ Gal says:

      Aspen also have the contract for medical services at the dead duck Wellcamp facility. A labor mate lobbied the minister on their behalf.

  12. Turncoates says:

    And of course the chief grub, John Coates, has decided to pull the pin before the Olympics. Nothing like earning all that money during the period when the Olympics are t being held, and then resigning before the work gets busy. Lazy, rorting fucks.

  13. Prickster says:

    I’m expecting Pie you’ll be looking to set the Reserve Bank Governor straight, after his statement below explicitly says the economy is strong & unemployment is at record lows.

    “The resilience of the Australian economy is particularly evident in the labour market, with the unemployment rate declining over recent months to 4 per cent and labour force participation increasing to a record high. Both job vacancies and job ads are also at high levels. The central forecast is for the unemployment rate to decline to around 3½ per cent by early 2023 and remain around this level thereafter. This would be the lowest rate of unemployment in almost 50 years.”

    Then he said this;
    “The outlook for economic growth in Australia also remains positive, although there are ongoing uncertainties about the global economy arising from: the ongoing disruptions from COVID-19, especially in China; the war in Ukraine; and declining consumer purchasing power from higher inflation.”

    and this;
    “Inflation has picked up significantly and by more than expected, although it remains lower than in most other advanced economies. Over the year to the March quarter, headline inflation was 5.1 per cent and in underlying terms inflation was 3.7 per cent. This rise in inflation largely reflects global factors”

    Some people aren’t going to like apolitical public servants stating the facts………

    • The Magpie says:

      So from the last little dribble of drivel, you are saying that the Morgan figures and details and explanation and conclusions therefrom are not ‘facts’ …. ergo you are saying that the historically well trusted Morgan group have simply made things up i.e. lying. Or that they’re factually stated explanation of how the ABS calculates its data and draws its conclusions, which the RBA are of course and correctly bound to regurgitate and base their decisions, is also made up. And The ‘Pie doesn’t recall making any predictions about the overall economy in his piece. Haven’t checked though because I know you will, and I’m not doing your homework for you.

      The ‘Pie’s piece made it clear that the disparity simply comes down to how you choose to interpret the words ‘employed’ and ‘unemployed’. Adjust your monocle and have another read.

      And a bit of personal advice, old mate … steer clear of attempted humour, especially that low form known as sarcasm … in your own interests, The ‘Pie has thoughtfully edited a line from your post to maintain the veneer of maturity you think you enjoy around here.

  14. Kenny Kennett says:

    I look at the little increase to interest rates and think about having to sell everything I owned to keep my house back in the 90’s. Interest Rates reached 50 times what they are now and people are making a massive thing of a quarter of a percent. And Labor’s latest barf a lot policy of affordable housing is starting to get some leaks in the roof. Apparently if your income goes above the qualifying maximum income threshold, you will have to sell it and repay the Govt. and the bank as well. You’ll get what’s left. If you leave it in your will to your kids and their income is above the threshold, they will be forced to sell it and repay the Government. And only 10,000 houses will be chosen each year. Your in with a chance if you wear a red shirt and hand out ‘how to vote’ cards at the election. But, no matter who wins, we’re fucked either way.

  15. The Magpie says:

    Fun on the campaign trail …. those guys at The Shovel don’t let up.

  16. Mike Douglas says:

    Heartfelt letter to the editor by Councillor Greaney in support of the Mayor and how Councils meetings are run . Councillor Greaney Division 3 which includes Townsville cbd presides over the dirty / unkept cbd and the only time businesses see the Councillor is on T.V. / paper . As part of Team Hill , Councillor Greaney has let out of town contractors take work from locals under the “LGAQ local buy ” as well as ” commercial in confidence ” and voted to accept $79 mil Haughton stage 2 after Labor in Brisbane stuffed up the deal with the Feds . Would Councillor Greaney really let the Mayor ” go it alone ” on Lansdown . How many garbage trucks are out of action ? 350-400 bins were not emptied in a number of suburbs Monday . Liam Mooney spoke out on drainage in his division and i would prefer a rowdy Council meeting if Team Hill Councillors stood up for their Divisions and the City and stop being sycophants .

    • Occams Razor says:

      No surprise to see Mike Douglas weigh in on this issue with his blinkers well and truly in place. Always at the ready to pillory and piss on any Councillor aligned with Hill, his real knowledge of most issues he remarks on is about as deep as the skin on a custard. Mike of course would know a bit about the CBD, having been distinguished by his singularly uninspiring leadership some years back of one of the groups with an interest. Biased flummery boxed up in sound bites is the best this bloke offers. Compare his disdainful comments on a publicly funded football stadium with his praise fuelled missives for Hell’s Gate and the federal member, our own Prince Phil, laying claim to it. Neither stacks up, but none more than Hell’s Gate…no advice sought by Joyce and Co and yet set to create the most expensive water in the country. Genuinely intrigued at the level of satisfaction and self-worth this supercilious wannabe gains from his regular contributions to your blog.

      • The Magpie says:

        Regarding your final comment: The Nest is a broad church, open to all sinners, repentant or not. And nice to hear from you again, Gillette, thought you’d cut and run.

        • Old Tradesman says:

          He sounds more like Wilkinson’s Sword the worlds sharpest razor blade, I new a girl that swallowed one once, she ended up with a hysterectomy, a hymenectomy, circumsised her lover, gave the parson a hair lip and still had five shaves left.

      • Prince Rollmop says:

        Settle down Cockam’s Razor. Your verbal bile that is being directed towards Mike seems to indicate that you and Councillor Greaney are bosom buddies. Or are you just a beneficiary of ‘brown paper bags’ from select Councillors, hence your defence of these incompetent fools?

        Nobody that is sound sound in mind thinks that our Councillors are worth anything more than a droplet of piss. Fran ticks most of the ‘good’ boxes, but not all of them. The rest of our elected members are dross.

      • Kenny Kennett says:

        In the red corner…..

  17. Sure Thing says:

    Shame on you, ‘Pie, you have been misleading your loyal followers about the Dudley Do Nothings at Wishing Well House for years. This was posted on the ABC website about the Hell’s Gate Dam this morning:
    “When asked last week how much irrigators could expect to pay for Hells Gates water, Mr [Barnaby] Joyce said he did not know.

    “Because that is a question I would actually take away and model and come up with the figures,” he said.

    “What I rely on is competent people like … Townsville Enterprise.”

    If Barnaby says they are competent, they must be!

    • The Magpie says:

      Way more damning than anything ever said on this blog.

    • Lord Howard Hertz says:

      Almost a twinge of sympathy for the poor old Dudley’s when I read that … I mean, with friends like that ….

    • Peanuts says:

      That’s like Hitler endorsing your gas barbie.

    • Addled says:

      Sure Thing, TEL did not do the 2018 Feasibility Study, they contracted SMEC (wholly owned by the Singapore government) to do it for them. Even if TEL have their name on it doesn’t really matter – no one in the government seems to have read it anyway. They don’t care, the election will be over before anyone catches on that the economic viability is below crap. The summary says:

      “Modelled water costs are well above [X10] those seen in established irrigation areas that have viable economic scenarios growing broad acre crops (for example the established horticulture areas such as the Murray-Darling Basin). This is not an unexpected outcome – this greenfield site was never intended to compete domestically with Murray-Darling sourced produce, while the 2014 study that concentrated on sugar cane showed that traditional broad acre cropping was highly unlikely to be internationally competitive.
      A critical message from this study is that delivery of an attractive investment proposition requires expansion of export quantities to the ASEAN and European markets for high value crops, and/or a substantial increase in grower returns for traditional broadacre cropping.
      Hells Gates Irrigation scheme needs to be set up to maximise a mosaic of high value produce such as tree crops (avocado, citrus, table grapes) and premium vegetables (capsicum, pumpkin, pulses) for the export market while not flooding those markets with single crops. There is potential for broad acre farming of crops such as sugar and cotton, but these lower value crops would not form the core investment return for the scheme.”

      1. never intended to compete domestically
      2. highly unlikely to be internationally competitive
      3. requires expansion of export quantities
      4. and/or a substantial increase in grower returns
      5. while not flooding those markets with single crops
      6. lower value crops would not form the core investment return for the scheme.

      No wonder Barnaby won’t answer questions about ridiculous water costs and economic viability.

  18. Achilles says:

    Another New Age New Speak piece of language mutation, sure language evolves but mutation is NOT evolution.

    I saw this use of Drop on another entry a few days ago for QANTAS. It seems that drop no longer means cancel, delete, don’t use etc. It means they have a new offering. I was expecting Drop Bears!

    “Virgin drops massive cheap ticket sale to (a) range of destinations”


  19. Prince Rollmop says:

    Council staff are busy working on the 2022/23 budget. Scurrying around, crunching numbers. Naturally the part-time bludging half a million dollar man Prince Ralston is avoiding the heavy lifting. I wonder what the money will be spent on? Will there be increased rates and general fees and charges? Will money be squirrelled away for things that are ‘commercial in confidence’? Will money be budgeted for staff wage increases?

    Note to Fran – once the final budget is delivered in a few months time, make sure you get out your calculator, pen and paper, and bullshit meter and go through it all with an extremely fine toothed comb. There will no doubt be some crafty wording and a few herrings thrown in to distract those who are brave enough to read it.

    • Ducks Nuts says:

      I hear there has been some enthusiasm about rating changes and talk of how to squeeze more money out of locals by charging them for ever for convoluted rating categories. Oh joy!

  20. The Wulguru Wonder says:

    Bum breathing turtles you say? I didn’t realise a QLD Government cabinet meeting had been held in the Burdekin. One of the Ministers must have wandered off and gotten lost in the river…

  21. Casper says:

    What’s with all of these ‘alleged ghost candidates’ for One Nation in the upcoming election? Stay in your own lane Pauline! :)

    • Hugh Jarse says:

      Hey Casper, George C isn’t a ghost, although we can see through what he’s up to there! Not to mention his ample back and front. Poor bloke looks like he’s swallowed a blanket!!

  22. The Magpie says:

    The Most Unsurprising News Of The Day.

    From Tourism Queensland:

    “Queensland’s best holiday destinations have been revealed, with 23 outstanding Sunshine State towns now competing for top honours in the 2022 Queensland Top Tourism Town Awards.

    Presented by the Queensland Tourism Industry Council (QTIC), the Awards program recognises and celebrates Queensland’s outstanding regional destinations. Honoring communities across the state who demonstrate a commitment to visitor excellence.

    “From a shortlist of 23 exceptional destinations, we’re calling on the public to have their say and to share with us their best-loved Queensland towns. “

    There are three categories, based on population. Here’s the one for larger communities. Spot the missing one. Then think about your mandatory ratepayer donation to our peak tourism body Townsville Enterprise aka The Dudley Do Nothings.

    Top Tourism Town (population over 5,000) finalists:

    • Bowen
    • Bundaberg
    • Charters Towers
    • Gladstone
    • Rockhampton
    • Tamborine Mountain
    • Yeppoon

    • The Magpie says:

      But our reputation as a stepping stone for those on the make has been boosted by a number of departures of late. And that means there are jobs for juniors to be filled all over the place – except the TCC head of media … applicants will bde required at some stage to reveal their paid up membership of the Mullet Party.

    • Leyland Brothers says:

      Seriously – Charters Towers, Gladstone, Bundaberg and Rockhampton?? All shitholes not worthy of visiting for an hour let alone as a holiday choice. The type of two-headed towns that I’ll be pluckwit, Stevie the Belgian dipshit, and No More Dredging would visit for a holiday.

      • I’ll be plucked says:

        And of course you go to these joints and worse Leyland boys, ‘cos you go everywhere man! Obnoxious peanut!!! :)

  23. The Magpie says:

    What low bastards. No one told The ‘Pie he’d been fired.

    • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

      Dear Mr Magpie, if your profile matches this job then we are all rooted.

    • Prince Rollmop says:

      Will the stinky Prince and his HR footstool hire another Nous idiot? Yet another Nous in the house?

    • Ducks Nuts says:

      So Scott Chandler is leaving? Got the boot? Fell on his sword? Got pushed off a building? The options are endless… does anyone know the real story?

    • Critical says:

      Accordingto the Head of Media advertisement, TCC has 1,001 – 5,000 employees. Looks like the idiots in TCC don’t know how many employees the organisation has? Wonder how the TCC bean counters are calculating the costs associated with the 2022/2023 salary and wages bill. Perhaps Mayor Mullet can explain how the salary, wages and associated costs bill is calculated.

  24. The Magpie says:

    This just in from The Guardian. Which is not even in Queensland, let alone FNQ. Bulletin snoozing again.

    Full story here:

    It includes the interesting statement from KAP’s goof Clynton Hawks:

    “You are supposed to be representing the people and this person is a ring-in from three states away?” Three states away? Wouldn’t that make her a Tasmanian resident?

    But The Bulletin apologises for not yet having reported this small electoral matter, in unfortunate prioritized timing, all its uncompromising, tough-questioning investigative journalists were out chasing more important stuff, like ‘Brave Toddler’s Courageous Fight Against Ingrown Toenail’

    Not to worry, Ronnie The Rewriter is on the job, and we’ll get something at … oh, about sixish … tomorrow … maybe.

    • The Magpie says:

      BTW, we should be honoured that The Guardian holds us in enough regard to somehow give us this news three and a half hours before it is due to be published. It arrived a few minutes after noon, but the story byline says 3.30 AEST.

      Or did they mean AM – which would make the story nine hours late? Look, just askin’.

      • Kooky And Parochial says:

        Pie – I think the KAP gentleman believes for all intents and purposes he is in the State of North Queensland. So when you count it the KAP way the PHON candidate is three states away: South Queensland, New South Wales, Victoria.

        • The Magpie says:

          Good thought.

          And just while we’re at it, haven’t checked around in the last c ouple of hours but The Magpie wishes to be the first to claim right to the headline ‘PHONey Candidates.’

    • Prince Rollmop says:

      So here the thing, our current local and state representatives don’t really represent us anyway, these selfish parasites represent themselves only. If Federal Phil gets in, we might have a voice, considering he is the only politician getting anything done in Townsville. But the reality is that the federal election could field some clown from El Salvador, Russia or Tasmania (not Malta) to represent us, and that would be an improvement on the current mob of arseclowns.

  25. The Magpie says:

    Looks like the boys in the Packing Room are on the toot again.

  26. Prince Rollmop says:

    PHON had a real opportunity to potentially put decent candidates forward who may have had a chance at pinching seats from some of the mainstream muppets. But instead of targeted some core and winnable seats, they have thrown a name against every seat. They’ve gone about this in a haphazard dysfunctional manner which is embarrassing and illogical. They’ve spread the brush way to wide. Fools.

    • The Magpie says:

      No mate, fare from illogical, it’s about money …. electoral funding money they get if they get more than 4% of the vote. And fielding people everywhere seems to give them a bit more sway by using the illusion of preferences as a bargaining chip. Hanson nis known for this sort of rorting.

    • Addled says:

      “PHON had a real opportunity to potentially put decent candidates forward . . .” HAHAHAHA! FFS Rollmop. Surely you weren’t interested in voting for her?

      • Prince Rollmop says:

        Addled, what I’m saying is that the current mob of idiots (Labor, Liberals, Greens) are morons who underperform. Maybe, just maybe, Phon could’ve placed a handful of half decent punters into candidate positions. There needs to be a rise of the Independents.

        And if you think PHON or the Independents are that bad, then remember that there have been several mainstream Government parties that have needed Independents votes to get things across the line in Parliament.

  27. The Wulguru Wonder says:

    I understand that The Watermark has been sold, with settlement taking place yesterday.

    Does anybody know if “whatever it takes” Richo was still involved in the restaurant, or did he get out a while ago?

  28. NQ Gal says:

    Australian political candidates don’t hold a bar to some of the absolute loonies in the US, who appear to be in a competition to say the most outrageous thing.

    • The Magpie says:

      … like the gun lobby advocate testifying before Missouri (I think) government committee that as a matter of freedom, private citizens should be allowed to have nuclear weapons. trying to find the clip.

      But we did have the National candidate in Victoria who once said that wind turbines don’t work at night.

  29. The Real Elusive Butterfly says:

    Some good news, Mr. Pie!
    Guy Sebastian WON’T be performing in Townsville..

  30. The Real Elusive Butterfly says:

    That pretty much sums it up Mr. Pie!

  31. Strand Ghost says:

    Was that Guy Albanese! he hasn’t performed all week ??

  32. The Real Elusive Butterfly says:

    Even better news Mr. Pie.
    Morrison has admitted he is not a fan of AFL.
    Even more ammunition for voters in Victoria, SA, WA, Tasmania and the NT to get rid of this pontificating moron!

    • Prince Rollmop says:

      But Morrison is a fan of wearing Hawaiian shirts, playing the and ukulele speaking in tongues. Probably good mates with Tom Tate also.

  33. Pav says:

    Dudley Do Nothings. Sums it up nicely. A revolving door. The fish rots from the head.

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