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The Magpie

Sunday, June 6th, 2021   |   233 comments

Phil Thompson Paintballs Townsville’s Leadership: And He Didn’t Miss In His Unexpected Splatterfest In Federal Parliament

Mayor Mullet, Memory Blank Walker and Labor back room boy Dolan Hayes all get unceremoniously splodged with Thompson’s national expose of this city’s parlous state … but saying what just about everybody thinks in this way may have its downsides. The ‘Pie ruminates.

Invitation to a riot … the Bulletin has just graduated from ‘Top Ten Sexy Crims’, promoting prostitution, and printing openly racist slurs attacking Townsville cab drivers,  to now advocating genuinely violent behaviour on State of Origin day. No making it up, as you’ll see, it’s there in black and white.

With the State of Origin Mark 1 heading our way, you’d expect unalloyed joy, pride and lifted spirits in the community … but hey, this is Townsville, the whingers are out in force … but they’re whingeing for all the wrong reasons. The Magpie checks some real downsides to what is a great but Steven Bradbury-like coup for the city. In fact, The ‘Pie apologises in advance, but there has been so much wrong-headed reporting about this whole issue during the week, many of the comments to blog will be re-published as a running commentary of things as they went down. Bit long but must be recorded.

Scott Stewart bizarre ‘emperor’s new clothes’ reaction to the instant success of an anti-juvenile crime petition.

And one for the gals, it’s a must-see for everyone … Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody re-worked as an anthem for ladies of a certain age. Sensationally funny is no exaggeration, you’ll identify with this one, ladies.

Plus our regular American gallery, and lots of totally irrelevant laughs and trivia.

But before all that, your weekly ad break.

A reminder that your support is continually sought to help keep The Nest going. The ‘Pie mostly enjoys the 50 or so hours he chooses to put into this weekly effort (even if it dos entail reading the bloody Bulletin every day – which can be depressing) – but he is, as Roger Miller so famously said ‘a man of means by no means’, and operating requirements must be paid (this week, a stinker from Telstra.) The Magpie appreciates your readership, but if you enjoy reading things here that you’ll never see in the Bulletin – and the reality about what you DO see in the Bulletin – your material support will help make the task easier. The Donate button is included at the end of the blog. The Magpie sincerely thanks those of you who have already shown their support.

Now, ever onward while looking back at the week.

Anti-Council Crusader Phillip Thompson Takes His Clean-Up Call Onto The National Stage

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On Tuesday, The Member for Herbert Phillip Thompson rose in the House of Representatives in Canberra … and let fly with this speech.

This summary from an astonished Daily Astonisher.

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The Herbert MP has called for Mayor Jenny Hill to temporarily stand down following the death of Darryl Lynch in early 2020, for the Premier to discipline Mundingburra MP Les Walker after he was banned from Townsville’s safe night precinct, and asked why strategist Dolan Hayes remained in the Labor “love-in circle” despite pleading guilty to possessing dangerous drugs. “We have three people in positions of extreme power who are making a complete mockery of our city, the people who live in it and the trauma they’re facing on a daily basis,” he said.

This was an unexpected bombshell, coming as it did under the shield of parliamentary privilege (and therefore no danger of libel) but it was a clarion call that resonated with the beleaguered residents of this city. Bentley sees it a biblical paralle

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And here is the moment that led to the parliamentary spray this week. That was the moment when Thompson decided enough was enough, and was no longer content with keeping this just local.

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But while what Thompson said is undoubtedly a correct and reasonable reflection of the feelings of many in this city … and not just the victims but those of us waiting to become one … one wonders if it might have unintended consequences. The timing is the interesting thing, because Thompson appears to have one of the most switched-on political planning teams behind him. Labor mates tell The ‘Pie that Jenny Hill is getting almost paranoid about the negative publicity bullseyes he is scoring. (She refused to comment on the speech.)

But was it the wisest thing to risk a backlash by coming out with this on the very week that the city took front and centre in the sporting world? Thompson could’ve held back and kept the blast until after Townsville’s day in the sun, and already he may be ruing not doing that, because the State of Origin match has greatly overshadowed the impact of the speech. Swamped it, in fact.

There is the possible resentment by both businesses, investors and general residents who may take offence at having Townsville’s dirty laundry hung out unwashed for all the financial and social world to see.  And of course, the other question which will linger, will an attack of such a provincial nature have any impact, and possibly be dismissed as a party political ploy painting state Labor – and therefore by association, national Labor – as dastardly conniving incompetents. In other words, just another day in our pristine political world.

We will just have to wait and see about that.

And Something Not Really Explained In The Speech

 The Magpie 

June 3, 2021 at 7:05 pm  (Edit)

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Dolan Hayes -Medellin Cartel Material – not.

Oh dear, Dolan, you drug fiend, you.

Turns out that in 2019, Hayes was celebrating his birthday at The Ville. When he went to bathroom, he unknowingly dropped a clipseal bag containing a single MDMA Ecstasy pill. Someone else found it, handed it to security, Hayes was identified through CCTV,.and he immediately made admissions to the police that he was contemplating trying it – he never had before, he told the court – as it was his 50th birthday. He copped a six month good behaviour bond. And apparently never grassed on his supplier.

Invitation To A Riot

There were two Trumpian echoes in the Bulletin’s bed-wetting excesses about the State of Origin match landing in our midst. The first is the danger that, like the Trump phenomenon , we will stop being amazed, outraged and/or disgusted and start to accept the paper’s continual sloppy excesses as the ‘new normal’. Well, The ‘Pie never will, but some readers may just get bored with the old bird’s coniual efforts to keep this particular set of bastards honest.

So it seems few people even raised an eyebrow when this high school essay masqueraded as a story on Tuesday.

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The opening lines were inexplicably crass, stupid and irresponsible.

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Given that our mayor plans to close of the street on Wednesday’s game day, and is urging an unofficial a half-day holiday (why?), by the late afternoon when any NSW team bus rolls along Flinders Street East (if in fact that is its route) you can bet there will be plenty of folks with more than a couple of dainty Pimms Number 1 Cups under their belts. And there’s nothing like being pissed to encourage smart decisions. But this open invitation to break the law in a very serious manner, the writers of the story seem to be oblivious to all the other stories in their own paper about the town being overrun by southern visitors, so that many of those drinkers, fuelled up because they won’t actually be going to the game, will be NSW supporters. And strangely enough, these folks in sky blue may not take too kindly to the recommended chauvinistic behaviour.

A stupid,childish suggestion, and like all things stupid and childish, quite dangerous. But why are we not surprised?

The There’s This …

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Remember that red herring about Trump Derangement Syndrome, basically suggesting that for many people just the word Trump interfered with their rational thinking because of the inbuilt prejudiced triggered by the mobster president. It quickly faded when the Trump boosters realised they had made a massive misjudgement when most people took it to more accurately mean that Trump himself was deranged.

Well, such a word-trigger ‘derangement syndrome’ could be applied here to coronavirus restrictions and the upcoming State of Origin match. It would appear that more than one normally sensible and responsible civic leader wasn’t thinking quite clearly on the issue. Phillip Thompson has long called for restrictions on venues to be lifted here, which is fair enough under our usual somnolent existence, but right now? And then there was this bloke …

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Ross McLellan, CEO CoC

… Townsville Chamber of Commerce CEO Ross McLennan, who told the paper:

“We must look at these restrictions that are still on businesses, we are hearing that loud and clear from our members. We’re allowed 100 per cent capacity at the stadium so let’s give our businesses an opportunity to make something while this thing is on.”

Christ, mate, what price social safety and responsibility? Fuck your members, the boozariums of Via Vomitorium are rapacious operations that divert scores of police every week to keep order among the people they get drunk until all hours. Now it seems to The Magpie that this is irresponsible and dangerous self-interest you’re spouting. BECAUSE SURELY WITH A MASSIVE INFLUX OF VISITORS FROM THE SOUTH PREDICTED TO ARRIVE HERE, THIS IS EXACTLY THE TIME WHEN RESTRICTIONS SHOULD REMAIN IN PLACE AND EVEN BE MORE STRICTLY OBSERVED.

A question, Mr McLennan … you say the restrictions aren’t fair, so what price do you ask us ALL to pay if we have the bad luck to cop a COVID outbreak in Townsville through relaxing mandated restrictions. That won’t be bad luck, mate, that will be bad management.

Then There Is The Question Of How Much Ratepayer Money The Mayor Will Splash About

From comments on Wednesday.

The Magpie 

June 2, 2021 at 9:46 am  (Edit)

PLEASE NOTE EDITORIAL DISCRETION IS ADVISED. The image in this story is not suitable for viewing by young, impressionable children given to nightmares.

Jenny Hill looking drac

The disdain is palatable.

This ultimate extravaganza of Bread and Circuses come at a cost, and ratepayers will foot part of the bill, which is perfectly reasonable – BUT WE AREN’T ALLOWED TO KNOW HOW MUCH. Taxpayers know how much the state government has ponied up for this football game, but inexplicably, such candidness about council’s contribution to side celebrations is not to Jenny Hill’s lofty liking.
“Townsville City Council officially ratified its support for the event at a special council meeting on Tuesday, but Cr Hill said she could not reveal what monetary support it would give to Origin. However, Cr Hill said it was probably a lot less than what was thought.”
‘Could not reveal’ Madam Mayor?  Why the hell not? This is inexplicable arrogance, such a matter cannot be commercial in confidence, because we are only entitled to know the amount, not how it is disbursed. Clearly you see an electoral downside in revealing this, and still you wonder why Phillip Thompson is giving you such a towelling.

Caitlin In Cloud Cuckoo Land

Try and beat this for the most inane statement in this issue of the Bulletin … crowded field, we know, but this has to be the frontrunner.

“GETTING to the stadium will be as easy as yelling “QUEENSLANDER” with a new transport plan released ahead of Origin Game One.”

It’s from our Caitlin again, who apparently did her journalistic training in Sydney supermarkets, according to her Linkedin profile. Of course, an absolute snip, Cat … as you so succinctly inform us

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Helpfully – perhaps – this map is included

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… we know it’s a map because it says underneath. An undoubted boon to strangers arriving in town on the day.

But here is something you failed to mention, Catlin, which looms as a bonanza for the TCC coffers, a matter which won’t get any fans from the out-of-towners caught unawares. Because you didn’t mention any announcement of a temporary lifting of the clunky South Townsville restricted resident and visitors -approved parking on match nights This nogeneral parking rule covers scores of streets within walking distance of the Total Tools stadium. So assume there will be no such relaxation. Will the mayor’s secret cash splash (she won’t tell us how much this hoopla will cost the ratepayers) extend to such a temporary easing of South Townsville restrictions? If so, residents who want to have State of Origin parties, as most of Townsville will have to, may be mightily peeved when their friends and family can’t park close by. But if the restrictions stay, peeved won’t be adequate to describe how visitors will feel about another $53 being added to their Townsville experience.

Lose-lose on this one.

Well, What Did You Expect?

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And A Tent City?

What does that say about a place that fashions itself the capital of North Queensland – where the words ‘world class’ are tossed around about various non-world class matters – a city that would welcome thousands of tourists for the place’s questionable charms if TEL and the TCC were halfway adequate in creating and marketing an attractive destination?. Will it be like the tent cities in other ‘world class venues like Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne, New York, London?

‘Fraid not. The whole idea of a tent city puts Townsville on a par with say Julia Creek’s Dirt’n’Dust Festival or the novelty Birdsville races. Or maybe Ramallah – although in Ramallah, the water probably isn’t brown

Another Event For Total Tools Stadium After SOO?

The ‘Pie is reliably informed that Jenny Hill’s charge of driving without due care and attention causing death has been moved to August 18 … and will now be held in Townsville. guessing here, but this is presumably why the matter was not dealt with in Brisbane last week, as previously planned, possibly to ease any burden on the grieving family being forced to travel to Brisbane. This would have been more arduous under prevailing conditions.

Anyway, since there is no jury involved in the one day hearing – it will be heard just by a magistrate – there can be no danger of any bias caused by Clr Hill’s public prominence.

Speaking In Tongues

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Dilatory state member for Townsville Scott Stewart was getting as flustered with state opposition leader David Crisafulli as the mayor is with Phillip Thompson. As a former high school principal, Stewart has an interesting take on English and logic. The issue in question was David Crisafulli’s anti-crime petition. Many Labor supporters scoffed at the idea, suggesting it would take months to get the 10,000 signatures Crisafulli wanted before he tabled it in parliament and tackled the Premier head-on about the crime situation. Even Crisafulli thought it would be a matter of months.

It took less than 24 hours to get the 10,000 signatures and hundreds, probably thousands by now,  continue to sign up.

Scott Stewart was completely flummoxed by the response, and was forced to resort dodgy history to lamely try to deflect from the looming stoush in the chamber.

Given that breach of bail had never existed for youth offenders, Townsville MP Scott Stewart described the LNP’s efforts to bring back breach of bail as nonsense. The offence (the LNP) introduced in 2014 was an offence better referred to as the act of committing an offence while on bail,” Mr Stewart said in parliament.

“It did not reduce breaches of bail by young people. It did nothing to deter or reduce crime. In fact, it just did not work.” He said fewer than 40 young people were convicted of this offence in Townsville while it was in effect, with over 90 per cent reoffending within 12 months.

“I consider that a complete failure,” he said.

Speaking of complete failures, when’s the next election?  You’re in for it, sport, and you bloody well know it.

Another Pollie Confused By Reality.

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Accused rapist Christian Porter has withdrawn is court action for defamation against the ABC. This is a devastating loss for him, and a great victory for ABC and quality journalism.

But not that you’d know it from Porter’s astounding version of the settlement that was reached, a deal which included no damages paid and Porter has to meet his own legal costs. And the disputed 4 Corners story remains up on line, although an editorial note has been added that ‘regrets’ any misinterpretation of the facts therein presented. That in anybody’s books is a massive back down for Porter and a massive win for the ABC wasted no time in departing from reality immediately after the settlement meeting. Somehow, in Porter’s version of reality, it was a ‘humiliating back down’ for the ABC. Part of his convoluted post-settlement statement said” “The ABC and Louise Milligan have been forced to say that the accusations in the article could not be proven to a civil standard or a criminal standard so the same people who were calling for some kind of civil hearing have now been forced to say that the accusations would not be proven to a civil standard,” he said.

Of course, they said no such thing, and Porter did not insist that claim be tested in court. And he looks a right schoolboy ninny when this settlement comes right on the heels of the court sacking his barrister had privileged information that may have been revealed in the proceedings.

It is mind-numbing to think that this bloke was once the highest legal official in the land.

But those boys at The Shovel have got him pegged.

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Meanwhile, Up In Cairns …

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A TEAM of up to 10 corruption watchdog investigators has thrown Cairns Regional Council into confusion after descending on city hall to probe allegations of dishonest conduct.

Cairns Mayor Bob Manning 258b7f3544c7820c493014def11e1f62

Cairns Mayor Bob Manning

Councillors were left scratching their heads when Mayor Bob Manning was inexplicably absent from workshops on Wednesday morning.

Sources say key top-level staff were rushing in and out of the meetings in a visible panic but it was left to councillors to deduce what had happened during the 10-minute breaks between workshops.

The Crime and Corruption Commission was back in town in greater numbers than ever before – and Cr Manning was otherwise disposed.

This is an corker of a yarn, involving sex, other naughtiness like conflict of interest, and financial fumblings – the sex part is only that two staffers in hot water are partners outside work. Conflict of interest, dishonesty … in fact, all the things and a bit more we have come to expect from a Queensland council. It appears Mayor Bob Manning doesn’t have the same Christmas Hold on his councillors as Mayor Mullet does here. Her Jenny Hill’s equally tight nut-cruncher on the editor of the local paper.

Not sure if this link will work unless you’re a News Corpse subscriber, but it’s a rollicking tale from Glitter Town, reading like a Home and Away soapie script.

And it gives one the feeling that the CCC are slowly edging towards Walker Street.

They Walk Among Us

But you don’t have to be a politician to have a special way with words  … and The ‘Pie means special.

Also … Root?

 They Walk Among Us MG_2529

No it wouldn’t, and would be very fattening … go straight to your calves.

Once Upon A Time In America

The Republican fairy tale/horror story continues apace, with the party refusing to support an inquiry into the Insurrection and storming of the Capital in January. That’s serious stuff, but Donald “Agent orange’ Trump continues to demonstrate that reality is for pussies, predicting he will be reinstated as President in August. Why this bloke hasn’t been sectioned remains a mystery.

Our gallery.

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A Contender For Twitter Reply Of The Week

This sky pool is creating a stir in London.

Twitter lit up with mostly negative comments about taking a dip (anyway only residents can use it) but one of the best was ‘What happens if someone drowned in the pool … remains to be seen.’

Boom-tish.

Finally, A Not So Pregnant Pause

Many subjects inspire various folks to take to music to express their emotions and feelings, waxing lyrical about love, passion, kids, loss, discovery, moonlight, menopause …

What, wait, a musical menopause? Yup. Women everywhere will identify with this very clever foot-tapping and funny tale of woe, including The Magpie’s daughter, who sent this into the Nest.  She turns 54 today. Happy birthday,  darlin’. The ‘Pie suspects he may be prevailed upon to delete any mathematical aspect to this paragraph.

……………….

That’s it for another week, but continue to catch up on things you won’t see or hear elsewhere with Magpie’s Nest comments throughout the week . Join in with your take on any issue that takes your fancy.

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The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.

233 Comments

  1. Mike Douglas says:

    Another great blog Pie . Aaron Harper doesnt not only not listen and act for his electorate but shows his contempt when as Chair of the Health and Environment Committee refuses to hold regional meetings with sugar growers especially when Harpers electoral office is 1 hr drive to the Burdekin or Hinchinbrook . I suppose its hard to find time when he is channelling Bob Hawke , high amount of media engagements telling us what a great job his is doing , attacking Phil Thompson in Parliament and meeting with the Labor Mayor and his two other cronies to try and avoid talking crime or taking responsibility and coming up with stories like Townsville will be in Economic Calamity when Job keeper finishes .

  2. Can’t Trust Labor says:

    I think you may have missed the intent of Ross McLennan‘s message.

    Is it not fair nor logically that the State Government blatantly goes against health advice and increases stadium capacity to 110% while COVID restrictions every other part of the State, in businesses sees operating capacity below 100%.

    This is how you invest $8m to create $5m of value.

    You are quite rightly concerned about COVID spending just think you’re having a crack at a softer target rather than the true perpetrators of COVID. Anna only has rules to suit herself.

    Lock up of State on Origin night, too. Not that the government sees a crime problem.

    • The Magpie says:

      The story in the Astonisher – written in the usual upside down fashion – goes on to explain why and how the restrictions work. Agree with them or not, the restrictions are in place for a reason, and to suggest that they be relaxed RIGHT NOW because somehow businesses should be allowed to put the wider community’s health at risk for one day and night of a few drunken bucks is venal and wrong-headed in the extreme. Mr Mclennan’s call seemed not to be thought through, and was a standard by-rote argument, and comes when for the first time, Townsville faces genuine and possibly widespread exposure to coronavirus. certainly, as The ‘Pie said in the blog, the restrictions were very unfair and somewhat draconian when Townsville remained more or less isolated by distance (and general outside interest) but the threat is now very different. Alarmist? Get back to us here when you start coughing.

      • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

        The stadium COVID rules (and the reason other venues can’t open at capacity) seem to assume that everyone teleports in to their seats and do not move around or cheer because people standing together and potentially singing are dangerous according to the Health Department. No one will go to the toilet or line up for food or drink.

        I have some sympathy for poor Russ McLennan. He is way out of his depth, although as host of the Hidden Valley Cabins he was always genial and helpful. He just doesn’t get the grown up thinking needed here.

        • The Magpie says:

          The Magpie did not swoop on Mr Mclellan in some sort of wholesale attack, more on his one-off thoughtless – and possibly dangerous – words. The ‘Pie has not met and does not know Mr McLellan, but those who do tell The ‘Pie they are of much the same opinion as you, basically a good bloke.

          As woke mothers tell their erring child, you are a good person who sometimes does naughty things.

  3. Cantankerous but happy says:

    The SOO has been a bit of a wasted opportunity for Townsville, instead of providing a unique perspective and experience, it just shows its lack of substance and imagination by becoming a Mini -Me Brisbane for a night, with nothing but constant references to Caxton St, the bus and what happens at Suncorp stadium, only done on a smaller scale. Why not think of something different, provide a tropical, Nth Qld theme, something to remember it by, it’s great a few people in town will make a few bucks and good on them, but with a little bit of thought and imagination it could have been something much more, but then again this is Townsville.

    • The Magpie says:

      Fair enough comment, but like what?

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        A start would be getting the lazy turds at TEL and the council organising some events along the Strand and Strand Park, with continuous bus loops connecting the city. Move the daytime activities away from the depressing empty CBD down to the beach, instead of people walking around the city looking lost and asking themselves why the fuck did they come a day early.

  4. Tropical says:

    Firstly there was no insurrection at the Capitol on January 6. Fact.
    Those that rioted were not Trump supporters. They attacked the Capitol while Trump was still speaking down the road.
    Even the ABC paid a well known Antifa thug $2500 for film he took inside the Capitol. He was metres away from where Ashli Babbit who was shot by a Capitol policeman. CNN also paid this grub $90,000 US. Which the police have removed from his possession as he awaits trail for other thuggish offences when violently rioting.
    1/2

  5. Tropical says:

    Cutie pie
    In Biden’s world fuel prices are at a seven year high after Biden shut down the US Keystone pipeline. but lifted sanctions on a Russian pipeline. US jobs bad, Russian jobs good.
    Jews are badly assaulted on a daily basis by black Biden voters.
    Murders are up 800% in Portland run by a Democrat mayor.
    The Democrat mayor of Chicago also oversees mass shootings each and evry weekend.
    What does the corrupt US media focus on, why Biden’s ice cream flavor. Riveting stuff.
    There is lots more but I do not want to bore you with facts.

  6. Strand Ghost says:

    Signs appearing on poles all over city area, SOO bought to you by TCC?, well at least the potholes are getting filled and the roads are getting swept.
    All the boys are working today out front of stadium to Boundary St. cleaning roads , it’s good to see our ratepayer money (on penalty rates of course)being used at least for something positive
    I wonder if they will get around to the potholes that have been there for 3 mths in front of the Entertainment Centre before the next wet season, they must know about them as you see Council trucks driving around the area all day doing nothing every day.

  7. One legged tap dancer says:

    The amount of money we ratepayers are contributing to the Origin game, courtesy of our not so transparent mayor Jenny Hill, remains a closely guarded secret.
    I’ve heard talk of $50,000 and if accurate, I have no objection to our council splashing that level of support on such a high profile event.
    It would, for example, be a drop in the bucket compared to what ratepayers have donated to southern promoters for the Elton John and Kiss concerts and the V8 Supercars (I suspect that the way they work out Townsville’s contribution to the Superpests is to estimate the drop in crowds each year, and compensate)
    But a neon sign on the side of the road near the stadium suggests we have contributed considerably more than $50k to get the Origin game here.
    It reads “Townsville City Council presents State of Origin Game 1″.
    Now you don’t get “presenting” rights for peanuts so if the cost of getting Origin to Townsville suggested in the southern media – $8.3 million – is correct, Townsville ratepayers have chipped in a bucketload of cash.
    According to the Townsville Bulletin, only 13,000 North Queenslanders managed to get tickets to the game. That’s understandable considering thousands of tickets had to be allocated to Origin sponsors and people who had already bought tickets and corporate packages to the Melbourne game.
    But if you break that 13,000 down to Townsville residents, only about 5% of the host city’s population will be at the stadium on Wednesday night.
    The mayor needs to come clean on how much we paid.

    • The Magpie says:

      Well, yes, she should and can’t think of any reason why she shouldn’t … another commercial in confidence rort. That said, any monies spent are NOT for the game, it’s for all the populist vote-winning hoopla events the game gives Mayor Mullet a viable excuse to splash our cash and garner some electoral gain. The culture of secrecy lives on in the bowels of the Walker Street Wankery.

      Folks, please understand that all that he Magpie says and opines here is not stressing out the old bird, he has become an incredulous observer and reporter, and his humour is not bitter, it is the outcome of watching one of the most fascinating lemming-like electorates in Australia.

  8. Elusive Butterfly says:

    Mr. Pie…another “giggle” from our local rag!

    “Juvenile criminals have sunk to a new low after stealing a single mother’s car, containing school books and uniforms, while she filmed them during the ‘traumatic’ experience.”

    Now, I was mystified as to what could be a “new low”, when further down the article, the author, Sam Flanagan, explained?

    “The woman said police told her the car stole food and fuel from Caltex Aitkenvale at 1.30am, before it was seen at BP Idalia with another car fuelling up.”

    The new low?
    The little darlings “putting Townsville on the map” are now stealing very clever cars!!

  9. One legged tap dancer says:

    When two independents were elected to TCC I firgured that we would at least get to know about some of the secret deals Jenny Hill and her Labor cohorts do under the cover of Commercial in Confidence.
    But, apart from one early Facebook post from Sue “Missing in Action” Blom and a couple of complaints from Fran Can, we are still being kept in the dark on matters we are entitled to know about.
    Surely Sue and Fran know how much ratepayers money has been spent to get the Origin game for Townsville. Even if it is just $50,000 it would have to be approved by council.
    So come on Sue and Fran, do your job. Tell the people who pay your salaries what’s going on.
    Otherwise you should be included in any future investigation by the Crime and Corrupton Commission.

    • The Magpie says:

      Or at least have the courtesy to tell us WHY it is not allowed to be revealed.

      • No More Dredging says:

        Do we know who gets the gate takings from games at the stadium? If the money is going into some Council-Stadium slush fund could that be what pays for all the hoo-haa before and after?

        • The Magpie says:

          Don’t think so. Guessing here but one would think that the NRL or whichever controlling body books a match presumably has an arrangement wit Stadiums Queensland. Very much the TCC gets a look-in, it is very much only engaged in ancillary events.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Interesting take on it all Tap Dancer but why the fuck should the two be held accountable when the other eight plus the Mullet are not, a seriously twisted perspective. It was only a year ago the Mullet and Co were elected in another landslide, endorsed by the worthless losers of this town, so why should Blom and Fran suddenly start asking the questions, when no one gave a shit about any of this sort of stuff last year at the ballot box.

      • The Magpie says:

        The ‘Pie never thought he’d ever be saying this, but those two gals and even a few of the aerobics team need a touch of the Paul Jacob about them … you’ll remember that he spoken out loudly about the way the Adani airstrip deal was put to and voted on by the council when not fully informed of the implications of the deal. He showed an admirable stubborn and in this instance, prgoinciled streak which one hopes would be carried on by Fran … Sue B has always been a bit too timid to take on a watchdog role.

        • Alahazbin says:

          But Pie, Didn’t the mullet turn on him after that.
          He didn’t stand for council again.

          • The Magpie says:

            By memory, she turned on him before he left council, an d it appeared he didn’t get much party support when he ran state … not sure if he was properly endorsed or just ran as Labor off his own bat. Given that damaged The Mullet, whom the party see as handy incumbent property and not much use anywhere else, Jacob might have been subject to – to use the famous Nixon phrase’ ‘benign neglect’.

        • Cantankerous but happy says:

          Yes he was a pain in that regard, Peter Lindsay was a pain in the arse to Mooney as well and the Mullet gave Tyrell plenty when she was a lone voice in the council, but they we’re different times, we had a newspaper back then that also asked the questions and wasn’t a mouthpiece for the council of the day like it is today. I just don’t subscribe to the idea that the 2 independents should be expected to stand up, with no support from the media or business in this town and put a target on their own back for an ignorant electorate that couldnt give a shit about accountability at all.

          • No More Dredging says:

            Cantankerous, how else do you get change in politics unless a single candidate stands up and puts a target on their own back for an ignorant electorate that couldn’t give a shit about accountability at all? Clearly you weren’t here when Mike Reynolds entered Council as a lone Labor member in a long time Liberal town with a rabid anti-Labor Townsville Bulletin and Joh Bjelke Peterson riding the ridges.

        • Guy says:

          Paul Jacob stood for state / federal election (I can’t remember).

          Given the state of government I take the view that you need to support the personality rather than the political party which can be co-opted and taken over and redirected to do stupid things. Supporting a functional candidate is better than blindly supporting a party.

          I haven’t seen Paul for years now, my take on it is he did what he could and moved on, its the least anyone could do in the face of multiple problems.

      • No More Dredging says:

        Cantankerous, I think you could say, at the very least, that the voters in the divisions that elected “Blom and Fran” gave a shit. Clearly you weren’t in one of those divisions.

      • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

        My unreliable spies in exec support tell me that Sue and Fran are being Belcarraed. They keep getting hammered by Legal and others about the consequences of taking information outside the Chamber and as they can’t get independent advice without breaking the supposed secrecy rules, they re pretty stymied.

  10. Triple Treat says:

    Colon Hayes (or should that be Purple Haze), Memory-blank Wanker and Frau Goebbels Hill once again grace the pages of The Magpies Nest in all of their colours, well one contour – brown.

    What an absolute disgrace these three Townsville morons are. An absolute embarrassment. A brawler, a druggy and a motorcyclist killer. These people are elected representatives of the community? These people are ‘leaders’? These people are worthy of a taxpayer salary? I think fucking not! As the States elected Labor leader, Palasczuk does not pass the pub test, sitting on her sausage fingers and doing nothing about the dross in Townsville passing itself off as elected representatives of the people. We are a complete joke!

  11. Dr Death says:

    Personally I hope Townsville ends up with a State of Origin COVID cluster. Maybe that’s what it will take to see the Mullet, Nanna Anna and Premier Young finally fall on their fucking swords. And if we have no COVID cases then they need to drop these ridiculous border closures once and for all.

  12. Strand Ghost says:

    Ah Sue Blom a nice lady but I was near her in first week of council elections at pre election site Sue was only looking for a income to get out of Hair Dressing, had no go at all and not acceptable as as a councillor, gave me the impression that she is a follower not a leader and we are seeing that Jenny is intimidating her as she doesn’t ever rock the boat, very disappointed.

    • Guy says:

      Yes ive heard similar about blom, she was one of the councillors involved in water tax

      The wolf does not change its fur

      Ive heard other stuff about the other collecting wages too. You’d have been better off having wall to wall team Hill than those two.

      I think I saw blom up for state or was it federal ? There was no way I’d be voting for someone who blew up council finances.

    • Reg says:

      Well said Strand Ghost. Agree with everything you say about Sue.

    • No More Dredging says:

      Strand Ghost, if you really are from around the Strand then you don’t come from Sue Blom’s electorate. So what is your view of your actual divisional councillor? Do you even know who that is? Same for your mate “Reg”. Why are you whining about someone else’s councillor?

      • The Magpie says:

        That’s just plain dopey, Dredger. By that metric, councillors should only be able to vote on issues affecting their electorates, and the others should butt out. Likewise, only residents in Wulguru should comment on the shit in the backyards? One of your occasional dillish moments.

  13. One legged tap dancer says:

    Easy answer to your query Angry Happy person.
    Sue “Missing in Action” Blom and Fran Can (aka Can’t) were elected to serve the people of Townsville, NOT take their inflated salaries and, at best, perfer to say nothing than upset Jenny.
    Have they done a deal with the devil to shut up and say nothing, or have they decided to fly under the radar in the hope that they won’t be held accountable when the shit finally hits the fan?
    If they are still genuine independents, (I seriously doubt it) they should be alerting the public to what is actually going on behind closed doors at the council.
    Otherwise, they deserve the same fate as Jenny and her puppets, if the Crime and Corruption commission comes calling.
    There is no excuse for knowing what is going on and saying nothing.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      It’s called self preservation, and it sure beats sticking your neck out for the ignorant simpletons of this town, so take the money, do nothing and get rewarded, that’s the Townsville way.

    • No More Dredging says:

      Oltd, same for you. Councillors Blom and O’Callaghan are elected by the voters in their division. They should be ‘serving’ them first. Perhaps they are happy with their lot and have no reason to run around on the patches of other councillors – except of course in matters affecting the whole of Townsville like expenditures on Adani airports or the stadium which are fair game for everyone.

  14. Interested observer says:

    Today’s Townsville Bulletin raised a few questions about the Origin game.
    First the tent city organised out at the Murray Sporting Complex to cater for visiting fans who missed out on hotel accommodation.
    Don’t know who organised this, but I suspect it is our old mates at Townsville Enterprise.
    They started off charging $285 per tent (2 single beds) per night but have now dropped the price to $285 total for the 2 nights. In other words, a 50% discount.
    The price crash has been put down to public feedback, but I suspect its more to do with lack of interest in a bed in a tent and shared shower and toilet facilities, a long way from the CBD, for the normal price of a four-star hotel room on The Strand.
    So who is going to foot the bill for this expensive flop?
    Then there’s the new block of tickets that are going on sale. We were told last week there would be 2700, but now there are only 1000. So what happened to the other 1700?
    And finally, there’s a story about a Victorian who became a member of the Maroons Club (imagine that?) and was able to buy a swag of tickets online through that membership. The tickets were then taken off him but later returned after he complained. So what bright spark at the NRL decided it would be a good idea to let people join the Maroons Club just days before the game?
    Now I’m not saying this particular bloke jumped on the bandwagon – maybe he did, maybe he didn’t – but I do know of other people who joined the club a couple of days before tickets went on sale and were able to secure up to 10 tickets.
    You would think the editor would be asking questions about these abnormalities, but no, not so far anyway.
    On past form, don’t hold your breath.

    • The Magpie says:

      re ticket confusion story … why is that a story? Bloke gets tickets, bit of a ticketing sbafu takes them, powers that be reinstate them. Ho fucking hum, adds nothing to the sum total of anything, just a bullshit space filler.

    • The Magpie says:

      STROKE OF BRILLIANCE!!
      Aaron Harper Solves Townsville’s State of Origin Bed Shortage Problem

      Harper has called on his government to release all juveniles from Cleveland, so the facility can be used to house State of Origin visitors.

      ‘Let’s face it, we’re going to let them all go soon anyway, on our short term rotation roster, so why not let the city benefit’, Harper said.

      A Corrective Services spokesman opposed the idea as too expensive.
      ‘Have you seen the amount of damage footy fans do, especially if their teams loses?’ he asked.

    • A says:

      Perhaps we should have moved the juveniles from the detention centre to the tents at murray, and then allowed the good visitors some better accommodation near the airport.

      They did think about setting the tents up at dean street carpark but apprently that site already fully booked each weekend.

      On another note i wonder if the wulguru sewerage issue has something to do with idiot springs not being connected to the sewer network. All its waste is collected in a truck and dumped in the sewer system through a sewer pit lid between wulguru and the treatment plant.

  15. Bentley says:

    What on earth has happened to the ABC? I switched on this morning expecting to check the news and was instead treated to an in-depth analysis of Play School followed by a couple of similarly irrelevant spots complete with funny one-liners and giggling. Disheartened I switched channels to see if the commercial channels could do better but as expected they were even less informative, and so switched off and retreated to my phone. What the hell is going on????

  16. Prince Rollmop says:

    Phil Thomson’s timing of the ‘shit grenade’ that he lobbed into Councils chamber wasn’t mistimed. It was timed for maximum effect. Think about it. What better time to highlight Townsvilles issues than when everyone is sitting up and taking notice of Townsville – Origin time. The faithful will still come to watch the match and they will also generate business through local accomodation patronage and eateries.

    And for those who think it was poor timing/poor choice by Phil to launch his shit grenade, please blame the Mullet, Labor’s local representatives and the Palasczuk Government. They have caused this problem, happy to do t by idly while crime explodes in the Ville. Vent your fury at these people, not Phil.

    • The Magpie says:

      My dear royal pickled herring, if you think a few reasonable questions about strategy was The ‘Pie ‘venting his fury’, you haven’t been around this blog very long, have you? Vesuvius is but a pup when The ‘pie gets going.

      Anyway, you seem to have missed the point that The Magpie’s analysis was a mild question about the effectiveness of the timing, in essence, could Phil have got more bang for his buck if he’d held back? It’s debatable and was simply a question of strategy, not ‘venting fury’.

      • Prince Rollmop says:

        My apologies my feathered friend. I accept your explanation and certainly wasn’t questioning you or your motives. I do now harbour a secret desire to see Vesuvius blown its top, perhaps over the Mullet or some other Townsville moron that triggers your eruption? The matter regarding Phil is all very interesting and I hope he has some more live rounds to fire off at the Labor incompetents that soak up our taxpayer and rate payers money.

    • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

      The Pie is correct, the timing was off with the SoO taking up so much oxygen. But contributing to the story sinking like a stone was the lack of news content aside from the stunt itself, and that those named played a dead bat.

      Both of these were predictable, so Thompson’s puppeteers should have held onto this card until a more strategic moment. Cato he ain’t so there will be diminishing returns on it in future.

      • Prince Rollmop says:

        Oh Steve, you couldn’t help yourself. So funny watching you jump to the defence of your beloved Labor cohorts. I bet you’ve had a midnight quickie with the tree of knowledge out at Barcaldine also, haven’t you?

  17. Dr Death says:

    So, the pathetic Anna Alphabet had her highly publicised COVID shot today. After all of the hype and hoopla about this terribly contagious virus, both she and Dr Young hadn’t gotten vaccinated. Hypocrites. Dutton was correct in calling these two idiots out. And the bullshit excuse that they didn’t want to use up two vaccine shots on themselves was pathetic. Politicians and bureaucrats ALWAYS put themselves first above us lowly shitkickers. Oh yes, the great COVID con is in plain sight.

    • The Magpie says:

      But didn’t Townsville City Council bring us the game? The posters around town all say so.

    • Can’t Trust Labor says:

      Haha scammer in chief Anna Alphabet gets the Pfizer vaccine not AstraZeneca as all over 50’s were requested to do.

      Just another in a long line of “one rule for the Premier and then some other shitty rules for everyone else’s”.

      Zero leadership, zero credibility let’s hope the rumours of a Cameron Dick take over are true.

  18. Prince Rollmop says:

    Looks like an early Federal election is getting closer. It’s now leaking out that allegedly Daniel Andrews didn’t slip on anything. He allegedly copped a hiding from Luke Sayers, the former CEO of PWC. Apparently Andrews made a play at Mr Sayers daughters friend and as they say, the rest is history. He is in hiding on his Mothers farm and the wife and kids have left him. It would seem that these politicians truly are pathetic grubs, serial sexual pests and shady lying turds.

    • The Magpie says:

      And where did you get all this from, pray tell? The ‘Pie’s been out all afternoon.

      • Prince Rollmop says:

        Mr Pie, I cannot reveal all at this stage and you won’t see it aired on MSM, yet. But a very reliable person has provided the information. It all allegedly unfolded at the residence of one of Mr L. Fox’s sons. The ‘shower slip’ incident was legitimate, but next to nil injuries sustained from that. The real injuries were delivered by fists. It would be alleged that the incident took place after an $8k – $10k bottle of expensive booze was consumed.

        Time will tell if my source lives up to their normal excellence, or if I get dudded.

        • The Magpie says:

          For the moment, The ‘Pie’s eyebrow remains raised.

          • HB Pencil says:

            But haven’t the Fox’s come out and denied that rumour? (when I say ‘that’ rumour, I mean a media release recently that didn’t go into detail, just about a disgusting rumour) If they deny it then I can’t see that anything could come of it.

          • Kenny Kennett says:

            Just read the same thing equipped with a photo of Sayers

          • The Magpie says:

            Did the photo prove anything?

          • Lucky Phil says:

            Considering it took so long for les walkers incident to air why would it surprise anyone that this isn’t true too? Typically labor across this country.

            So Anna got her shot so she can go to Tokyo for the Olympic Games. Let’s see if she does her 14 day quarantine like everyone else or she pulls the “ I’ve been fully vaccinated “ line. If she doesn’t do proper quarantine then everyone in Queensland should take every one of there bullshit restrictions and say get fucked, the lies will finally get exposed

          • No More Dredging says:

            ‘Pie, the ToiletRoll is worried he might get dudded. He sucks crap from the Victorian Opposition (all over the ‘net), shits in his hand, wipes it on the wall then swears it was there all along. Pathetic twat.

          • The Magpie says:

            Colourful -unhygienic, but colourful.

        • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

          Sounds like Prince has a bad case of Boomer Brain, symptoms include believing everything you read on Facebook confirming your biases. He’ll be into Qanon next.

        • The Magpie says:

          OK, had a beak around on this one, and plenty of readers here with various biases have had their say, but on balance, The ‘Pie isn’t buying it. In fact, The ‘Pie is calling it utter crap.

          There is no source as to where this comes from beyond originating on what The Age calls ‘an obscure Queensland website’ the Fox family has denied it, the bit about involving a young woman is the web at its worst, and this whole questionable thing is being sheeted home with some credibility to Liberal Party ‘actors’ who have managed to manufacture some spurious legitimacy by getting it mentioned in the Victorian Parliament. And even this offered no ‘facts’ just in the form of a series of sniggery questions the Libs want answered.

          This is given even greater credence when it is realised that the Vic Libs and arseoles like nthe egregious Michael Kroger have soiled their dainties because of Andrews continuing strong polling on the handling of the pandemic.

          And it’s one hell of a conspiracy theory that if anyone wanted to say it in public, because it questions the professional ethics a one of Australia’s most senior medical men and assumes the conspiritorical silence of multiple members of the team who treated Andrews for his injuries.

          This from an early report of the premier’s injury from The Age:
          Andrews was initially taken to Peninsula private hospital before being moved to the Alfred trauma centre.
          The Alfred’s director of trauma services, Prof Mark Fitzgerald, said specialists caring for the premier were pleased with his progress but warned the road to recovery would be a long one.
          “Andrews has responded well without surgery so far and the work to improve his strength and mobility must now begin,” Fitzgerald said.
          “As the rehabilitation journey gets under way we will watch closely for any signs of worsening spinal stability or alignment, as well as the development of other complications.”
          Fitzgerald said Andrews did not need surgery currently but it could be required at some point.

          In short, this will remain total and utter crap until the proponents offer some evidence of the claims.

          • Tropical says:

            Cutie Pie… Andrews continuing strong polling on the handling of the pandemic.

            Yep really strong handling of the pandemic, with 920 Victorians dying from Covid infection.
            There is now another bad outbreak which I am sure the strong handling of the Victorian government will get under control.
            All other states are in single figures for deaths from Covid.
            As you being pointed out how wrong you are on many topics this will not the light of day.

          • The Magpie says:

            Well, it sees the light of day, enlightenment that your frothing comment sorely needs, Sub Troppo.

            It pre-supposes that others could have done a better job, which is far from being a given – with the malign influence of arsesoles like Michael Kroger, backed up by Darth Dutton, there is every chance it could’ve a bloody lot worse. But you would refuse to entertain that possibility because it doesn’t fit your agenda.

            But that would appear to be the view of the people most affected, the Victorians themselves.
            Mate, if The ‘Pie may use the generalised use of the word, voters are strange cattle and don’t always get it right in the view of some (cf: last TCC election) but you need a more solid argument to demonstrate Andrews actions were worse choices than the stuff being spouted – in 20/20 hindsight – by the opposition. And you.

  19. Unconvinced says:

    Come to think of it, there were no pictures of our brave little soldier immediately after the incident. Or at least none that I can recall seeing.

    • No More Dredging says:

      Unconvinced, which “brave little soldier”? Is it the person who is supposed to have punched the politician, the person the politician is supposed to have propositioned, the Liberal opposition politician who is full of foul air or the reporter (I hesitate with the word ‘journalist’) who managed to get this hokum into a sometimes respected newspaper. Are you ToiletRoll’s holder?

      • The Magpie says:

        The ‘Pie can’t take this all too seriously (yet), but there is a question there: if this is supposedly what Andrews go for propositioning someone, what would he get if he actually bonked her?

      • Unconvinced says:

        Oh, for fucks sake NMD, work it out yourself. It’s not that subtle. You really sound panic stricken. Goodness, what if it’s true?

        • No More Dredging says:

          FFS, Unconvinced, you haven’t seen a picture that might unconvince you. Well, duh! Are you still looking into the moon landing or have you moved on to Hilary’s emails and the pedophile network. Take a deep breath and move straight through to June, 2021. There’s still oxygen in the air and Trump is not anywhere important. You’ll be right, mate, it’s OK.

          • Kenny Kennett says:

            NMD, why couldn’t it be true? You sprout on about Christian Porter being guilty and that was 30 years ago, if it actually happened. And that was a whisper that turned into a screaming fight. Chairman Dan has proven to be a liar from his handling of the early days of COVID Quarantine and the useless security guards that apparently nobody hired…and nobody told Dan that they spent 60 million dollars to hire the useless pricks. Good ol’ Dan is invincible and couldn’t do anything wrong. So where’s his missus and Sayers? Why aren’t they standing up saying it’s all crap? I’m still with it being a nasty rumour, but I’m not discounting that it could be true. It’s about time he tried to fuck something and failed. He’s already successfully fucked most of Victoria.

          • Unconvinced says:

            NMD – that last comment is absolute drivel. When all else fails, resort to smart aleck insults? You are starting to unravel.

          • No More Dredging says:

            Kenny and Uncon, you don’t have any evidence. Nothing. You read something online (or your mate of a usually reliable mate thinks he might have been told something at the pub) and now you’re off on a crusade. To nowhere. Find an actual person with an actual fact.

    • Unconvinced says:

      Ohhh – I get it now…you read my choice of name as meaning I was unconvinced that it did NOT happen. Mea culpa – I meant to imply that I was not convinced that it DID happen, but noted there were no pictures of ChinaDan immediatley after the incident. Just to set the record staright, I think that the story is not true in any sense. Although it is true that he has a very punchable face.

  20. Spineless Premier says:

    I see that Palasczuk got to choose the Pfizer jab. What a gutless gimp that she is. Didn’t want to take a chance with the bloodclot jab hey Anna? Where your twin, Dr Young? Did she also opt for the Pfizer jab over the Astra jab? Pathetic spine doctors and contemptible liars.

  21. Mad cow says:

    Our $100 billion import and export industry is at risk of failure due to the incompetence of the department of agriculture, water and environment. This is nothing new, but finally the auditor generals report highlights this grave risk. Heads should roll. The departments secretary has failed. Staffing levels have been decimated and incompetent people at high levels brought in. Unworkable I.T systems that are causing mass confusion and inspection delays are causing complete havoc. Another Liberal government failure at the highest levels.

    https://www.abc.net.au/news/rural/2021-06-08/australia-biosecurity-slammed-in-auditor-general-report/100179624

  22. Prince Rollmop says:

    Still too early to make a call on the Andrews rumour. If there is no fire to the smoke then Andrews will be happy to answer the questions posed to him. Just keep in mind he has been paid $$110k so far while off work. That is taxpayer money. If the allegations being posed are true, then the taxpayer should be reimbursed. I for one did not know about the rumour before yesterday and I don’t generally read the MSM. My source is generally a reliable one.

    • The Magpie says:

      Maybe too early for you, but on the evidence so far, The ‘Pie will stick with his call out of ‘crap’.
      A couple of other addled headed suggestions you pose.

      ‘If there is no fire to the smoke then Andrews will be happy to answer the questions posed to him.’
      Andrews … or anybody else in any position at all … is not obligated to ‘be happy’ or even make any reply to every bit of unsubstantiated gossip thrown out there about him. If you believe there is such an obligation, then you are inviting a tsunami of all sorts of fanciful bullshit whispers from the egregious Michael Kroger’s army of internet trolls. Then you’d no doubt whinge that Andrews is taking up so much time refuting things that he is ignoring important issues.

      And you are at your most gurgling dillish about him being paid while recovering from an accident – which may well be covered by insurance, anyway. Any other person in government, whether MPs, public servants or the cleaning lady, would be on the same deal. And also note that the deputy premier says he is in contact with Andrews daily, seeking advice and policy direction.

      The third and final matter is this: what, and where from, does your ‘generally reliable’ source get his/her/they/them/it information from? Go on, give us a hint.

      Look, my dear old regal Pickled Herring, here’s a Magpie rule you may like to consider. We’ll never stop rumours … indeed, The ‘Pie publishes plenty of them after due consideration of source and possible evidence – but The ‘Pie never states rumour as fact unless he has evidence. The ‘Pie is no Andrews fan – his Belt and Road Deal with the Chinese lost him The ‘Pie’s vote – but he applies the same rule to the Victorian premier as the old bird does to Jenny Hill … do not write (or allow to be written) obviously false and outrageously manufactured baseless claims … they can come back to bite the writer on his exposed credibility when disproved, and besides … certainly in Mayor Mullet’s case – there is enough proven evidence to scoff and scorn without making things up.

      • No More Dredging says:

        ‘Pie, it’s 5.55pm and I’m looking at the story in the Guardian about Victorian Liberal shadow treasurer Staley and this wank about Dan Andrews. The woman looks like she’s having a pineapple shoved up her arse – probably by ToiletRoll. I think he might have been “dudded” by his informant but I’ll bet he never, ever admits it on the ‘Nest. Is ‘dudded’ some sort of new-fangled sex act?

  23. The Magpie says:

    An open letter to Astonisher Iditor Craig Warhurst from The Magpie

    You may care to mention this to the relevant reporter.

    WTF!

    OK, headline legit and gets you in …. but after a lot of tortured grammar, Mr Suffell fails to tell us the answer to very question posed in the headline … did he go to jail – as in remanded in custody – or did he walk? (A major reporter’s rule: to assume makes and ass of u and me.)

    And while you’re about it, you might gently point out that Magistrate Mack doesn’t need to seek legal advice to face court … quote: After initially facing court without seeking legal advice, Mr Mack stood the matter down until Knudsen had seen a lawyer, advising him he was unlikely to receive bail.

    Anyway, good to see you are following up on some of my blog stories … the South Townsville parking matter (game day restrictions will NOT be lifted) finally made it in Monday’s pages, after The ‘Pie mentioned it on Saturday.

    Now, about the tens if not hundreds of thousands the mayor and the TCC CEO are heavily rumoured to have spent on renovations to their offices … true or false? Only take a phone call, over to you.

    Magpie

    • Bob the Builder says:

      Perhaps the Mayor and CEO’s office refurbishments will include upgraded air conditioning and sanitation stations so as to eliminate stinky sweat and poo smells before next summer arrives?

    • NMD says:

      I personally believe our Mayor and CEO are worth the investment. They need a quality office space to manage local business needs. It gets my tick of approval.

    • The Wulguru Wonder says:

      Really? He was denied bail because the women woke up at 4am? So if she had slept in till say, 9:30, he would have been granted bail?

    • Alahazbin says:

      Pie, Re renovations to CEO & Mayor offices.
      When Ray Burton became CEO, just after Brian Guthrie had an expensive makeover of his office (gold taps etc). I asked Ray, “how’s the new office?”
      To which he replied. “It’s a bit over the top”
      Must be out of fashion by now. Time to spend another wad of dollars on a ‘reno’

  24. Tropical says:

    Hey Cutie Pie
    After being slimed by you and a number of others I checked to see if my replies had been posted. They were not, proving I was right yet again.
    You really do not have any balls.

    • The Magpie says:

      The Magpie’s balls are somewhat redundant at his age (sorry, girls) but he has brains aplenty, not that many cells are needed to delete your boring and sad ramblings.

  25. Interested observer says:

    Don’t know who organised it, but whoever arranged for the two rock faces of Castle Hill to be lit in Maroon and Blue last night deserves a pat on the bag.
    It looked fantastic!
    I sent photos to friends all over Australia and they loved it.
    Again, well done.

    • The Magpie says:

      Well, a pat on your ‘bag’ too (aren’t there laws against that sort of thing?) but how’s about you sent on in for us to share.
      email hidden; JavaScript is required

    • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

      Fair’s fair – sometimes council does not fuck up.

  26. Elusive Butterfly says:

    Mr. Pie…the required addition of 2000 seats at the Crabpot, just further highlights what a fuckup this stadium was…from the start!
    The fact that there is no parking is….ummm…words fail me!!

    • The Magpie says:

      Well yes, for a few extra million … maybe 10/15, they could’ve built an underground car park below the playing field that would serve the CBD needs all year round. And you have to wonder at the wisdom of building an arena with an eye to the future that actually has less seats than the one it replaces. And the average of 14k per Cowboys game remains the same and will do for some time, no matter how ‘excellent’ they become at next door’s facility.

      By the by, like the name Crabpot … it could become a genuine popular localised name for the stadium … it isn’t critical or derogatory and denotes a widespread north Queensland activity. And you can rest assured that after each game … if not during … there will be a few over-excited folks in the crowd catching crabs.But for The ‘Pie, history dictates that on this blog, it will forever be Total Tools Stadium.

      • NQ Gal says:

        Your comment about building with an eye to the future, bring back memories of when the new hospital was built at Douglas, there were less beds in it than the old TGH.

        • The Magpie says:

          And thank you, Mike Capt Snooze Reynolds.

        • No More Dredging says:

          NQ Gal, I’d appreciate you backing up that observation with some actual numbers. This in part from Wikipedia:

          ‘The old Townsville General Hospital in North Ward was to be the largest facility of its type in Australia outside a capital city and was built at a cost of approximately £500,000 for building and equipment. It opened in April 1951 with approximately 270 beds. Dr Kiernan Dorney was the medical superintendent and the hospital claimed to have the largest staff of specialists outside Brisbane.’

          I’m unable to establish exactly how many beds were there by 2001 when the new hospital opened at Douglas but from memory the TUH opened with around 450 beds. Over the last 20 years the new hospital has grown to 742 beds.

          • The Magpie says:

            When it opened, it definitely had less beds than the one it replaced. There was media mention of his at the time, but you can do the search, The ‘Pie’s a bit busy with other stuff right now.

          • Alahazbin says:

            NMD, Nothing confirmed, but I remember the figure of just over 600 beds.

          • No More Dredging says:

            Ala, not picking an argument here but remember that by the mid-80s the (fairly temporary) Kirwan Womens Hospital had opened so I wonder whether your “just over 600″ number includes that other location?

          • The Magpie says:

            Perhaps the point really is that even if Douglas had just the same number of beds, what does that say about any vision for what was then a growing and booming population in the region?

  27. Thomas says:

    So looks like the Nickel refinery at Lansdown is real

    Announcing to the share market investments by real Korean companies and revenue contracts worth billions.

    The goverment better pull their fingers out to have the roads, power and etc ready so they can start construction.

  28. Mike Douglas says:

    Drove past the stage being constructed opposite the “ no message bank zone “ Mad Cow for Jessica Mauboy + Busby Marou then saw the Flinders st cbd area closed 6 am Wednesday – 3 am Thursday for Birds of Tokyo at Flinders st stage then you have the big screen activity Northshore and Riverway 5-11 pm . The State Governments $ 8 mil + Townsville Councils “ commercial in confidence $ “ has delivered a few days sugar hit for the Ville for cafes , resturants , accomodation + our 3 local State MP,s . Was $5 mil quoted as benefit to the City ? .

  29. One legged tap dancer says:

    Success, it is said, hath many fathers, and today’sTownsville Bulletin is an excellent example.
    A story by the papers “Editor in Chief” Craig Warhurst gives credit for Townsville getting the Origin game to his most infulential advertisers, Anna and Jenny, who both get to wax lyrical about their achievements in adjacent stories.
    Jamie Fitzpatrick, Paul Green, Sterling Hinchcliffe, Scott Stewart and Aaron Harper also get a mention, and of course, the editor himself for running a “campaign”.
    Strewth, even Pricey is claiming some of the credit in his “I” column, although he has been inclusive in using the word “we” on this occasion.
    But poor old Mr Covid doesn’t get a guernsey.
    Who woulda thought.

  30. Interested observer says:

    Townsville is certainly buzzing this morning in anticipation of tonight’s big game.
    There are people walking around everywhere in Maroon gear.
    It’s all good exposure for Townsville, so why do they have to play ducks and drakes with the figures.
    When the switch to Townsville was announced last week they said the game would inject $5 million into the local economy.
    Then we found out that between the State Government and the Townsville City Council, taxpayers had forked out $8.3 million to get the game.
    On last night’s Seven News our new Townsville Enterprise CEO said the game would generate $7 million. That’s a convenient extra $2 million without any explanation.
    The Bully hasn’t done any better. Last week disgruntled fans who had missed out on tickets were told not to worry, another 2700 seats would be available when the temporary stands were erected. On Monday, the number of seats going on sale was reduced to just 1000 but after they sold out yesterday the number rose to 2000.
    Rubbery figures indeed, and not a single question asked by the Townsville media.
    Media releases rule!

    • The Magpie says:

      No, it’s media cowardice and connivance rule, the idea is that the momentous moment of the game coming here is not allowed to be questioned, otherwise, you are just a disloyal whinger. Besides, the massive ad spend keeps the media in its place.And The ‘Pie is not being sarcastic, a morale boost it really is great for some small sectors of the business community, how the city handles the day will provide either positive or negative national exposure).

      The mop up afterwards is going to be the interesting thing.

  31. The Magpie says:

    Christ, she’s got a fucking hide.

    You’re right, Premier, TODAY will be a great day to be in North Queensland, but thanks to you, the other 364 are a nightmare for many here and in Cairns. How about you and your three useless state members get your well padded arses off your complimentary Origin seats and do something about our out-of-control crime wave in Townsville and Cairns? THAT will reinstate North Queensland to be a great place to be all year round.

    • Dr Felchy says:

      She is the most gutless Premier we’ve ever had. The leader of the femme fatale movement and a complete joke. Using Origin in Townsville as a distraction from the issues surrounding HILL, WALKER and HAYES and the crime wave in Townsville. Nice try Anna, but not everyone is fooled by the age old method of political distraction. You are pathetic.

  32. Elusive Butterfly says:

    Mr. Pie…I am shocked at the audacity of the Collingwood Football Club attempting to steal Townsville’s State of Origin thunder by announcing the “sacking” of coach, Nathan Buckley…today!
    Absolutely no respect for pecking order.
    Typical bloody Magies!!

  33. Dave of Kelso says:

    Dear ‘Pie, greetings from the sunlit plane extended, where many towns councils have had a vision splendid, but not the TCC which continues to minimise economic opportunity for some parts of the local economy. 

    Throughout the gulf country, outback, and the central west, caravans and motor homes account for about 50% of the traffic. There are a LOT of recreational travellers, this being the case pre Covid as well.  Most of these RVs are self contained, the owners not needing caravan park facilities or the  expense. ($35 – $45 /night). 

    More and more towns are now providing the facilities that this cohort of the travelling public want, IOT have them spend (groceries, fuel, entertainment & attractions, booze, etc) in their town. The facilities being;

    Daytime caravan parking, close to town centre, with dump point and potable water, and/or

    Free, or low fee ($5/night) camping for self contained vehicles. 

    Pubs that offer free overnight parking also do well.

    Caravan park owners may object but the point is, this cohort  will, for the most part, drive on to a place that meets their needs. They were never going to stay at that van park.   

    The TCC has failed to capitalise on this opportunity. I have raised this subject with Counsel in the past, but not recently. The reply has been, to the effect, not Council policy. Yes, not Counsel policy to maximise economic opportunity.  

    That’s it. I now look to offset the cold snap with quarts of mulled red wine.

    Sent from my Samsung Galaxy Tab A on the Telstra Mobile Network

  34. The Magpie says:

    Hahahahaha … nice one, Townsville Bully, another tootsie bullseye. The paper has now downgraded the the NSW team bus journey to the stadium from full scale riot to ‘glimpses’.

    On the weekend, The Magpie predicted it was unlikely that the State of Origin team buses would travel through hoards of already fuelled-up pisspots in Flinders Street, on its way to the stadium

    And so it has happened.

    The Bulletin is left looking a bit more stupid than usual and cannot escape being a chief reason for NRL organisers refusing to use the most obvious and direct route to the stadium – Flinders Street – for either team. The paper’s just plain irresponsible urging of drunks to hurl not just childish abuse but also throw beer cans and even rock the NSW bus as it travelled along Flinders Street, obviously alerted organisers to the sad realities of unrestrained public drunkenness in Townsville on special occasions, turning celebrations into demeaning debacles. This fuckwittery was even highlighted with that cartoon graphically illustrating what the paper wanted the public to do.

    But this afternoon, probably to no one’s surprise, Flinders Street didn’t feature at all in the route for the either team bus.
    Although starting at The Ville, the Queensland bus will zip along the Strand, up to Denham Street and then straight down to the stadium.

    The NSW team bus has been given a bizarre and circuitous route, according to the Bulletin, which displayed it’s usual stab in the dark at local geography.
    .
    “It’s understood the bus may not travel down Denham St as it’s not the most direct route from their hotel, and may come into the stadium from the south.
    It’s understood the bus may opt to travel down Boundary St, Railway Estate or even head through Idalia before coming up Abbott St and Railway Ave to get to the stadium.”

    Fucking Idalia? Where were the NSW outfit staying, the poo-threatened old Walkabout Motel near Cluden?

    And what a lost opportunity for positive Townsville publicity …

    … if both buses had driven in tandem along the length of the Strand before turning up into Denham Street, we would’ve shown off the city’s main tourist attraction in national media. Can’t think how this idea escaped our razor sharp civic leadership.

  35. Dave of Kelso says:

    The Total Tool Stadium is cursed.

    NSW 50 Qld 6.

    The stadium cursed Queensland to play like a bunch of Cowboys.

  36. One legged tap dancer says:

    The Origin game was a success in many ways (except on the field of course) but there is one thing that really stood out.
    Cr Liam Mooney was spotted actually doing something. Our councilor on trainer wheels compered one of the concerts at the Flinders Street parties.
    Could this be the start of something big, like compering council meetings.
    Frothy better watch his back.

    • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

      maybe compering kids parties would be more his speed from what I saw. I don’t think the professionals have much to worry about.

  37. The Magpie says:

    THE ORIGIN WASH-UP

    Let’s get it all out of the way in one hit … which sadly, the Astonisher will not, it will drone on interminably about every bit of trivia it’s social media mind can pounce on for days to come.
    First, why should we be surprised at the result, when we had all the city’s lucky charms one hand, barracking for the Maroons.

    The Astonisher made the best of the bad news, with this ‘nursing the wounds’ front page.

    We will have to wait a day or two for the wildly optimistic guesstimates of the benefit to the ‘city’ … but of course, not the net cost after council and government funding deductions are made.

    Then there was this …

    … in which we were subjected to Iditor Craig Warhurst’s soaring Shakespearian aspirations when he gurgled …
    WARNING: PEOPLE SUFFERING DIABETES SHOULD NOT READ THE FOLLOWING FOR RISK OF SACCHARINE POISONING.
    Not all is doom and gloom in the glorious city we call home.
    Flinders St was bursting at the seams with locals and visitors alike from mid-afternoon yesterday, all having the time of their life in our home. As the Queensland team bus cruised down Denham St, thousands of adoring fans were lined along the road screaming at the top of their lungs. It was hysteria. Blissful. Perfection. It was Origin. But this is Townsville. We did it.
    From the beautiful tones of our own Miella Sartori singing the national anthem, to the local bars, restaurants and clubs that were packed to the rafters until the early hours of the morning, every moment had NQ written all over it.

    It sure did, Craig, people getting pissed brainless to drown their sorrows at the rotten luck they’d been foisted with, before staggering off into the night to see if their car was still where they’d parked it. But, Mr Warhurst ‘hysteria. Blissful. Perfection’? Seems you were on a bit more than Pimms No1 Cup when you wrote that.

    But The ‘Pie thought it mighty sporting of the Bulletin that, directly under the iditorial, they chose their daily biblical quote to pay tribute to the Blues and echoed the thoughts and chants of the their supporters.
    https://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Screen-Shot-2021-06-10-at-8.27.34-am.png

    And there was a missed headline, couldn’t find it in any paper.

    TOM DESTROYERVICH’S ONE MAN SHOW

    This stuff is going to go on for a few days yet in the paper, before we start again thinking about the minor things of life, like crime, council rorts and failed political leadership.

    But hey, count your blessings … it could’ve been worse … we could have won.

    • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

      Flinders Street might have been going off and admittedly it did have a carnival feel before the game. But according to staff who were there the sad “community event” at Riverway was a flop with shivering masses or whatever half a shivering mass is called clustered around a shitty screen while a few food vendors slung overpriced crap out at them. No info on the Northern Bitches version but people up that way are likely to still be in bed after a big night on the rum and a cold morning.

      • The Magpie says:

        The Magpie found it passing strange that our mayor’s ideas of how the community operates is more a wishful vision not closely connected to logic or reality. We have suffered no lock-downs up here, which might have impelled a lot of people towards these cobbled together mini ‘footy festivals’. But they fly in the face of two of the established Origin traditions … viewing at the local pub that put on special enticements to watch the game, but more prevalent – in both NSW and Queensland – the home Origin party, when one could drive down any suburban street on the east coast of Australia and hear the cheers, boos, whooping, and general hullabaloo from houses all along the way. Of course, no one has ever done that drive, because every single person is either in the pub or at home … watching the game.

        • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

          Both fair points. What occurred to me was along the lines of what benefit all the ratepaying businesses of Townsville not in Flinders Street got out of this large investment. Itinerant foodtrucks did well but the clubs and pubs, restaurants and others bled dry by council were just expected to suck it up again and cheer with the rest of the punters. Maybe the idea was that they could all close their doors for the night (and potentially close for today if Mullet’s thought fart about a public holiday went ahead) and go go to the el cheapo mini festiva their rates and charges paid for.

    • Achilles says:

      Re the Pollies group pic. Where’s Jenny?

    • NQ Gal says:

      The iditors first hand observations that the restaurants and clubs were packed to the rafters until the early hours of the morning, must be the reason why the papers were late this morning.

      The DJ at the main stage near the Cowboys club promised that he would be back after the game to keep the party going. The place was deserted 10 minutes after the final whistle.

      I don’t know how many food trucks were at the other sites, but the few that were in town had big lines and ran out of a lot of things early. Hopefully the ratepaying restaurants picked up a lot of trade last night.

  38. Interested observer says:

    The Townsville Bulletin editor says everything was a roaring success with the Origin game (with the exception of the game, of course).
    But I bet he and his boss Jenny Hill won’t be saying anything about the much trumpeted “Tent City” out at the Murray Sports Complex.
    As far as balls-ups go, this one was a bell ringer.
    The idea had merit, providing at least a bed for visitors who couldn’t get a hotel room.
    But then some not so bright spark (Townsville Enterprise?) saw an opportunity to make some moolah and the Tent City was set up for failure.
    They started off asking the price of a four star hotel on The Strand for a bed in a tent with shared shower and toilet, approx 10km from the CBD.
    Then, presumably after getting no takers, they halved the price.
    Our new TEL CEO boasted that the Tent City had more than 700 online hits, but hits don’t necessarily turn into bookings, especially when price gouging is involved.
    From what I’ve been able to find out, they ended up with just 6 bookings.
    The big question now is how much money did the Tent City lose, and who’s going to foot the bill.
    Over to you, Mr Warhurst.

  39. The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

    Relating to my comment this morning about TCC shafting local business. Try to spot which council is missing from this list:

    Participating Small Business Friendly Councils
    The following councils have signed the SBFC Charter and in doing so, have agreed to the commitments set out in the Charter to support small businesses in their local area:

    Ipswich City Council
    Scenic Rim Regional Council
    Gympie Regional Council
    Mackay Regional Council
    Whitsunday Regional Council
    Toowoomba Regional Council
    Cairns Regional Council
    Tablelands Regional Council
    Somerset Regional Council
    Barcoo Shire Council
    South Burnett Regional Council
    Southern Downs Regional Council
    Isaac Regional Council
    Moreton Bay Regional Council
    Fraser Coast Regional Council.

    • Prince Rollmop says:

      I didn’t see Central Highlands Regional Council (Emerald) on your list. And considering that their CEO starts with TCC Monday week, why am I not surprised? At the end of the day, Jenny Hill couldn’t give two handfuls of monkey shit about promoting anything that benefits the ratepayer. All she cares about is Jenny Hill.

      • No More Dredging says:

        ToiletRoll, there’s a bit of sand in a pothole somewhere with your name on it and you got your $2 million shed on Castle Hill didn’t you?

  40. Craig Warthog says:

    Mr Warhurst’s style is a Murdoch classic. Sensationalise everything and fill your newspaper with glorifying stories about grubs, smut and other titillating garbage that sadly many in society find entertaining. Anyone familiar with Murdoch’s disgusting performance in the ‘News of the World’ scandal which brought down that newspaper, will understand my point of view. In my opinion Murdoch has a seat reserved on the Styx ferry boat and it won’t be long now until the Ferryman comes to pick him up. As for Iditor and Chief Muppet Craig Warhurst, he will eventually fall on his sword and get run out of town, but not before he has prostituted his local rag a little bit more for team Hill and her Labor pals, and of course Harvey Norman.

  41. Strand Ghost says:

    The lawyer for the accused Rapist of the 16 yr girl in Gill park this week Mikaila Ward said she will apply for Bail next week and and have him accessed for suitability to be released on GPS tracker system, I think a lot of these lawyers are most of the problem, I wonder if she would support this grub if he raped a member of her family, surely she couldn’t be serious? this system is a complete fail but what else would you expect from this State Government.

    • The Magpie says:

      Strand, have removed the name in your comment because the way it is written is ambiguous. Is that the name of the solicitor … the lack of punctuation and bad syntax (salutary lesson there!) makes it sound like you’ve named the victim. Will publish when clarified BUT if it is the name of the victim, who is 16, it is highly illegal to name her … if it is, where did you get it?

    • No More Dredging says:

      Strand Ghost, remember Lindy Chamberlain? She was convicted of butchering her baby in the front passenger seat of the family car. Went all the way to the High Court. By your standards you’d have to say she was a low life and wonder why anyone would ‘defend’ her. Just as well they did eh?

      • The Magpie says:

        OK, but don’t think we need to go on any more about this manufactured load of sinister own goal by the Victorian Libs. The ‘Pie called it early for what it glaringly was.

      • Tropical says:

        For NMD. The surprising thing about Andrews injury is that the doctors actually found no spine.

        JB. The Tamil family went through an extensive legal process over many years. Seven courts found the family not to be genuine refugees. They and their legal hand wringers exhausted their legal options. That’s how the system works.
        Once the legal options are gone then deportation is the next step.

        They are on Christmas Island because of those same hand wringers who were granted an injunction by that lefty High Court judge. They were on the way back to Sri Lanka, however the injunction that was granted force the plane back into Australian territory.

        The easy way for their return is to return to Sri Lanka and be sponsored by the hand wringers and the good people of Biloela. They would have been back in Australia if that had happened. So the blame does not lie with Dutton but the family and the legal hand wringers who were given this option but refused to take it up.

        • The Magpie says:

          \Troppo, your going to look like the irresponsible inflexible martinet you dream of being if they go back and get murdered.
          And you ignore two things, Troppo … after legal options are exhausted, there is another step before deportation … ministerial discretion. This is a discretion that does not create any one-size-fits-all precedents if it takes in factors like successful, law-abiding integration into an Australian community, in tax paying work not requiring any taxpayer hand-outs and selfless community volunteering (done any of that yourself lately, mate … don’t bother answering, you won’t be believed), and taking responsibility for ensuring their children (at least one of them) are properly schooled. The very fact of having two children whilst here in Australia, which is fully legal, and the children should also come under that ministerial discretion. The price they may have to pay for the original illegality is that they will not be eligible to sponsor other family from Sri Lanka, to ensure other would-be immigration law breakers don’t get any smart ideas.

          And it amazing that this government … and you … choose to persecute those that could be the poster family of successful integration into our society while mad mullahs and even a sub-set of indigenous Australians are anything but examples of what we all aspire our society to be.

          • Tropical says:

            Pie is there some part of being here illegally you obviously do not understand.
            I have no issue with the family just get here the legal way, which they did not do.
            Both parents got into Australia Australia separately and met in detention.
            Their legal hand wringers advised them to have children to increase their chance of being granted asylum that they are not entitled as was proven in seven legal court challenges that failed. simple is it not?
            By the way where is your proof that they will be murdered on return to Sri Lanka.
            Or perhaps to feel safe they could return to their home sate of Tamil Nadu.

          • The Magpie says:

            Just what part of your box-ticking, civil servant, one-size-fits-all brain does not understand ‘ministerial discretion’? It could be exercised without your hysterical ‘opening the floodgates’ jingoism, which is just bloody silly. A clear majority of the Australian population has said – just in this case – enough is enough, and that they are appalled that their collective name is being sullied around the world by their government – and by thoughtless, callous screeching galahs like you.

            It saddens The ‘Pie that he feels compelled to address such comments to you, The Liberating Hero of Mogadishu. BTW, manage to shoot any darkies when you were there? The irrelevance of that little bit of vain glorious virtue signalling tends to explain why you are on the wrong side of history on this issue, mate.

            PS what proof do YOU offer that they won’t be murdered if they return to Sri Lanka?

            PPS Are you sure you’re not Peter Dutton under a pseudonym?

        • No More Dredging says:

          Tropical, if you want to judge, demonstrate that you know something about ‘spine’. You don’t appear to have a clue.

          • BIC Biro says:

            As a born and bred Aussie, I say the Tamil family has earned their place in Australia and if good Country people like those in Biloela are prepared to vouch for them then I say they will make great Citizens. There is enough crap going on in the World, and enough money being wasted on crap in Australia that I reckon we should allow them some peace. A small price in my opinion.

          • The Magpie says:

            And there’s enough crap going on in Canberra … particularly on this issue.

          • Tropical says:

            NMD
            Oh I have a spine alright. Ever driven down the main street of Mogadishu (Somalia) in a soft top Landrover, surrounded by howling locals who would tear you apart if you happened to stop.
            I could also tell you about my INTERFET deployment. Yep, I know about spine alright.

          • The Magpie says:

            The question here is have YOU ever driven down the main street of Mogadishu etc etc? You poise the question in a way that if challenged, you will say ‘I ever said I did, just asking.’

  42. The Magpie says:

    Hey, citizen journalists … any word on how the northern beaches council-sponsored SOO function went? Numbers etc?

    • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

      Resounding silence on any type of success measure like attendance, takings, etc for any of the three community events. I think that answers it’s own question.

  43. Grumpy says:

    Ghostly, let me tell you something: As a former criminal lawyer, I represented many, many evil bastards. The one that sticks in my mind is the late and totally unlamented Gary Reginald Dubois – he was a cold, wicked c**t, who scared the shit out of me. I was not game to send him a bill. I have no doubt he was capable of murdering those little girls or incinerating kids at Whisky Au Go Go. I have also represented kiddie fiddlers, pack rapists and cold blooded murderers.

    The thing is that, as a lawyer, you are obligated to do the best you can for your client. Because these people were morally repugnant to me, I was aware of the unconscious temptation to run dead. I tended to over-compensate for this by putting in some extra effort so that I could rest easy with my own conscience, regardless of the result.

    That’s what you call being a professional.

    • The Magpie says:

      “As a former criminal lawyer”, Grumps? So when and why did you decide to go straight? (boom tish) – yes, know you’ve heard ‘em all before.

      On a serious note, you’re point is sometimes lost on some folks, because they don’t understand that the laws are made under democratic principles by politicians, they are only administered by lawyers, one of which entails the obligations you mention. However, the point would appear to beg Strand’s apparent argument when some of the super keen socially over-woke young legal aid lawyers knee jerk their way through hearings, and don’t stop to consider that arguing against custody in bail hearings is often NOT in the interest of their clients … almost certainly in every case, not in their long-term interests. The presumption of innocence is one hell of a stretch in so many of these cases. These kids know from an early age how to play the system.

      And with that in mind, would be interested to hear your (and anyone else’s) view on The ‘Pie’s theory that we are tackling this ‘age of criminal responsibility” debate from the wrong end. By all means, lift it from 10 to say 12 BUT AT THE SAME TIME, apply adult sanctions from a lowered age of say 15. Adolescents today, with the access to knowledge, instant information, technical sophistication, and exposure to ‘how to’ criminal movies and social media sites, are the 20 year old of the Boomer era, and should be treated accordingly with amended laws which were originally created in very different social circumstances.

      The ‘Pie that will never fly with our young zealots or our decrepit politicians, but they really should give it some thought.

      • BIC Biro says:

        Pie, the reason many of ours, and slightly later generations didn’t have the level of Crime we are seeing now, is because there were plenty of JOBS. My mates who were not academically minded left school at 15 to do a trade, or join a bank or the railway. A good mate of mine who I worked with in a Bank left school at 15 and he is a well known name in Australia – he was a CEO, MD in the UK and started a new Bank here which is becoming very successful. I have, somewhere, an old newspaper article where he says if he didn’t have a job to go to when he was 15 he would have ended up in real trouble. I would have gone down the same path. When I left school at 17 everyone, and I mean everyone, in my low class public high school all got jobs pretty much immediately. They were good days. The problem now is JOBS – and the Government in it’s un-infinite non-wisdom is keeping all those not academically minded kids in school at 15 to 18+ simply to manipulate the unemployment figures because they know there are very few “real” jobs.

        • The Magpie says:

          What you say is probably true, but it’s hardly likely to apply to the juveniles and teenager criminals that plague our city … work to them seems to hard, and many haven’t had a family example of it to emulate.

        • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

          By the time these kids get to 15 they are hardened and habitual criminals. You probably need to look back further into your (and my) past to where we were disciplined for breaking rules, we did what our parents told us or faced consequences, and we were afraid of going to gaol.

          Making this a consequence free society where people are paid sit down money seems to me to be the root of the problem.

          Now the only consequence some of these grubs even respond to is death, and even that seems to be a game now.

  44. Strand Ghost says:

    I’m sorry if you are all offended but I only sent in what was in the Tville Bulletin that i read this morning Perry Mason.

  45. HiBeam says:

    Not content with Townsville being the Juvenile crime capital of Australia the Government (who deny all knowledge of the fact) have sent us 10 more of the filthy useless sub human scum because they are too rough for Mt Isa. Too rough for Mt Isa is, in my opinion, too rough for civilization. When Oh when is the next state election. Why don’t the three blind mice and their equally useless leader and the government she leads, instead of placing their ugly dials all over the media get off their collective fat arses and pass some laws to restrict the movements of this scum of the earth so that we, the quiet majority, can live in peace. Far be it from me to suggest a direct cure for the problem, BUT, it took less than 24 hours for the David Crisafulli petition to reach 10,000 signatures, that if nothing else should indicate the anger in the community! We should also be aware that when people get angry enough they are inclined to do things that they may regret later! The anger has reached boiling point, the people we elected (I am innocent of voting for any local or state politicians now in power) have proved to be incompetent in so many ways it is well beyond a joke. If DC can get 10,000 signatures in 24 hours I would ask someone, far more literate than I, to compose a letter and paste it on here so that we can sign it and bombard the current crop of time servers with our vitriol. It may just wake them up. I doubt it, but live in hope.

    • The Magpie says:

      A point The ‘Pie has made before, but if Crisafulli would simply come out right now and promise a police helicopter for Townsville, that would be the nail in the coffin for the three Labor monkeys (sorry to real monkeys) – and probably this government – come next election. The worst that could happen is that Anna Alphabet would have match the offer, but would be in the difficult position of promising it after the election, meaning she would have to explain why she can’t do it immediately. And saying the state is broke because of PS and politician pay rises is probably not a good election strategy.

      • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

        Is the answer really as simple as a helicopter to add to the thrill of the chase for these grubs?

        To my simple mind there needs to be a few prongs on the fork-
        – enough police and resources (including a heli if they want one) to do the job
        – no bail for repeat offenders (three strikes?)
        – sufficient space in Cleveland and new purpose built facilities here and in the west to fit them all, with fewer luxuries and more discipline
        – expansive on-country programs run by local elders – complete the program and demonstrate rehabilitation then go back into community, or fail and go back to jail.

        • The Magpie says:

          The suggestion of a chopper was a political point, not an efficient policing point. Although don’t agree that it wouldn’t be much use.

          And The ‘Pie does not agree with your last point. These kids are too street smart and rat cunning to accept ‘on country’ experiences. They would accurately see it as irrelevant to their reality, and besides, part of any teaching by ‘elders’ would be heavy on reinforcing victimhood … “this country is your country, it was stolen from you’.

  46. The Magpie says:

    Memo Astonisher reporter Ashley Pillhoffer:

    There is no such charge as ‘alleged murder’ … the person is charged with murder, which police ALLEGE he committed.

  47. Kenny Kennett says:

    Regarding the Daniel Andrews rumour, I’m still believing there is some merit in it after discussing the topic with some southern friends this morning. Now, NMD, before you jump down my cyber throat I am only putting my own belief out there (like you did with Christian Porter) and will not release said sources. Preempting your response I’m tempted to tell you to get fucked but I wouldn’t say that to a woman.

    • The Magpie says:

      So what do you friends know that the Victorian police, the Victorian ambulance and the general population know that we don’t? Don’t want the sources, just the information, can’t be any harm in that unless you’re full of fake news fact fucking. For instance, just what research did Victorian Liberal scientists tinker with to create this rumour in their clandestine Liberal laboratory from which it accidentally escaped?

      • Kenny Kennett says:

        Les walker gets assaulted. No charges laid. Why? As you said yourself, if it goes to court, the truth comes out. Andrews – still no word from the mentioned attacker or his wife defending him. Ambulance report is a little vague on what actually happened. They mentioned the injuries but the cause was according to Andrew’s not the medics. For a guy that loved to be in front of the camera all the time, why only 2 (possibly) doctored pics. And why no interviews. And surprise surprise no surgery needed. What he said happened is just as hearsay as the latest rumours. And who said the Vic Libs started the rumour? Perhaps the same people who spread the Christian Porter rumour.

        • The Magpie says:

          What ARE you talking about, you really are addled about this, KK? Conflating Walker and Andrews is just nonsense. For a start, we KNOW what Walker did – it’s on cctv FFS -, the police decided no greater punishment than being banned from the nightclub precinct was merited, and that same sanction included his attacker, so there is nothing more to hear about him. End of story – what you think his wife might have to do with this is some sort melt down of your conspiratorial fake news mindset. Many were disappointed that Walker didn’t receive a substantial arse-kick from his gormless boss, but that’s a matter of politics, not law.

          There was no video of Andrews fall, and why would ambulance officers called and arriving WELL AFTER the incident know anything beyond what Andrews told them. Can’t recall them mentioning anything consistent with getting a towelling from an angry father. You are insinuating they have concocted a story that doesn’t mention injuries that might point to fisticuffs, and by extension, the hospital professor, one of Victoria’s most senior and respected medical officer, being complicit. That’s a lot of people to hold their tongues – they will surely thank you and the other purveyors of baseless (I.E NO EVIDENCE WHATSOEVER) rumours.
          And what grounds do you have to suggest that any photographs of Andrews were doctored?

          From now on, Kenny, The ‘Pie will not entertain any complaints from you about other matters you deem to be fake news … it is definitely irresponsible, childish idiots like you that contribute to the break down of trust and truth on social media. Give it a fucking rest.

    • No More Dredging says:

      Verbal me all you like about Porter, it makes no difference to the fake news about Andrews. Never mind your source (or sauce, which might say something), which piece of the puzzle are you missing that the cops, ambulance, Fox and the hospital have not provided? Go on, name one item, just one.

  48. Elusive Butterfly says:

    Mr. Pie…can these Bulletin “journalists” write any worse??
    To add to your “alleged murder” clanger, there’s this.

    “A CYCLIST has been injured after being hit by a car at a busy Townsville intersection.”

    Injured “AFTER” being hit by a car, huh?
    Very strange!
    Maybe it should have read…
    “A cyclist was injured when hit by a car…”
    And the injuries…”minor gravel rash.”
    God…hold the front page.
    This disgracefully written, totally unnecessary, four-par drivel has been on the Bulletin’s website for two full days now.

    • BIC Biro says:

      The cyclist from all accounts was in fact injured ‘after’ being hit by the car. No injuries were sustained as a result of the hit from the car, the injuries were a result of falling off the bike and hitting the ground thus causing the grievous albeit minor gravel rash.

  49. Cyclops says:

    There are so many one-eyed people on here of all persuasions………

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