Our Mayor’s Novel Approach To Our Unemployment Woes – Sack More People.

It seems Jenny Hill’s dogged determination to follow her own economic disaster plan has now cranked into life, and there’s plenty of anxious buttock-clenching going on among council staff.

With an election arising, Stadia-mania returns to the Astonisher in spades, but fiscal reality remains unexamined

And a story about pumpkins … one of them has legs.

(Bentley should be back next week.)

If He Doesn’t Stop It Soon, He’ll Go Blind

Astonisher iditor Ben ‘Bogan’ English has lapsed back into that unsavoury habit we all thought he had overcome … but suddenly, he felt an election coming on, so he grasped the opportunity with both hands and doesn’t look like stopping any time soon.. Yes, he is again verbally wanking on about a CBD stadium being the panacea for our employment ills, which has again become the circle jerk goal of the iditor and his self-interested mates.

But no one seems to want to discuss (outside the comments on this blog) if and how the money could be made available from all the pork barreling, smoke and mirrors and outright political lies.

Fear not, The ‘Pie won’t bother with this too much this week, although he will own up to some disappointment at the only reply the paper has made to the well-argued case against the concept, by economist/businessman Warwick Powell. Mr Powell’s thoughts were aired prominently in last week’s Nest, but the best Ben Bogan could do was fall back on a lazy, unimaginative old movie slogan ‘Build it and they will come’. Trite and embarrassing nonsense and pretty insulting really, as the only response to an intelligent and calmly argued point of view put forward publicly by Mr Powell. And not a mention of the long-suppressed KPMG report, again revealed here via Mr Powell last week, which casts doubt over crucial aspects of the proposal.

But iditor Bogan’s reply was in the iditorial, so few would’ve seen it. Small blessings.

The paper said they’d surveyed 1000 people, and 31% said they wanted the stadium in the CBD. So 69% didn’t,  or they couldn’t give a toss … the latter being an abstention certain spruikers should return to immediately.

Is There A Revolutionary Parking Plan They Haven’t Told Us About.

There was yet another ‘artist’s impression’ to go with the renewed hoopla about the stadium (strangely, it is facing yet a different direction … again), but look closely at this illustration recently used in the Astonisher.

Are we to have car park under Castle Hill? See, it appears that the Sturt Street cutting will be the entrance tunnel, perhaps with an underground pedestrian link to the stadium? Sillier things have been claimed in the paper regularly regarding Castle Hill over the years?  And BTW talk about Brownsville … thanks, guys.

NB The Magpie says ‘oops, sorry’ to former councilor Pat Ernst. Last week, the old bird suggested that councillors had either been lying or had been hoodwinked about the viability of a CBD stadium. A crisp ‘Not all councillors, ‘Pie’ soon arrived from Pat, and The ‘Pie acknowledges that ex-Clr Ernst was implacably opposed to the move from day one, and went to great lengths to let his constituents know it. That was difficult because the Bulletin wouldn’t publish his many statements on the matter, so he sent at least two newsletters out, making his opposition clear.

Turnip Up Colin

Quote of the Week:

‘Being an economist, I do a regular stock take of my pumpkins, and I could count only four small pumpkins in my patch.’ Colin Dwyer, wannabee popstar economist, vegetable gardener and faux New State maven.

This statement raised some question of language; did Mr. Dwyer mean this as a confession of mathematical failure on his behalf as an economist (‘ummm what comes after four???) , or his horticultural failure as a gardener … or perhaps, that some of the pumpkins had perished? Or (gasp) purloined? To discover the truth of the matter, those readers of Tuesday’s Daily Astonisher who could be bothered had to plough through one of the most tediously trivial and arranged ‘stories’ of the year.

Seems Colin sprung some folks nicking some of his halloween leftovers, and he generously shared with us his derring-do as a Poirot of Purloined Pumkins. Right in the last brief par, Colin had tells us that the (yawn) adventure was a eureka moment, with the idea of a ‘suburban food network’ where people can share their excess produce. Oh, you mean, like , just like the dozens of such private neighbourhood arrangements right across Townsville. And Brisbane. And Sydney.

All this thin flapdoodle with posed pic of our hero took up two thirds of page 8.

When the fame bug bites, especially with those foolhardy enough to claim the title of academic, the first thing to disappear is personal judgment. Poor old Colin stands witness to that sad fact; he has become such a panting publicity hound greatly in favour with the Astonisher as their economic poodle , that he has failed to see what an egotistical ass he is making of himself. Which is a shame, The ‘Pie has always found him personally a decent, affable bloke.

It would seem difficult if not impossible to make such a silly and inconsequential story of possible vegetable theft even more silly and inconsequential, but Colin and reporter Kieran Rooney managed to do so.

We can hardly wait for the next trick you’ll treat us to, Col. We need a good laugh in these grim times.

From The Planet of the Apps

That’s what some are nowadays, so crowded are our phones with add-ons, doo dahs and doohickeys. There seems no end to end to the support role mobile phones play in our lives but The ‘Pie was momentarily stunned when he read this SMH headline which he took to be the latest chapter in the endless prattle about whether its OK to end a relationship by text.

What next, machine gunning by mobile?

A Big Tip For A Tipster

Did anybody – other than the participants – note the selections in the Astonisher’s Rugby League competition a week or so ago? (Of course we did, no one cried.)

This less than stellar line-up of non-notables includes the likes of the crowd-pulling manager of Highgrove Bathrooms and the sales woman for Joyce Mayne Furniture and Bedding, (one supposes the talk is of nothing else but their footy thoughts in the front bars across Townsville) along with assorted folks from the Astonisher’s business side.

But then there’s also someone we are constantly told is one of community leaders, the CEO sock puppet poppet at TEL Patrcia O’Callghan. A couple of weeks ago, when the Cowboys were meeting Souths here at home, 13 of the 14 tipped (correctly) the Cowboys to win. Form would say that was the only way to go. The exception?

Yup, our chief spruiker , the pride of Mt Isa Little Patty and now Townsville champion – she was the lone tipster to go against the North Queensland Cowboys. And no, by her previous and subsequent tips, she isn’t a die-hard Rabbitoh’s fan, which would demand her loyalty. Nothing much turns on this although one wonders how the water cooler chat at Wishing Well House has been going down with TEL board’s big noise and driving force behind the Cowboys as a community asset, Lozza Lancini.

Note For Treasurer Scott Morrison

With the much awaited Morrison maiden budget just hours away, here’s a quote that may appeal our the bible-bashing boat stopper. And the materialistic among us could keep it in mind, too.It is from US economist and former congressman Phil Gramm.

‘Balancing the budget is like going to heaven. Everybody wants to do it but nobody wants to do what you have to do to get there.’

 Quite so.

One Person’s ‘Efficiencies’ Are Another Person’s Mass Sackings … Welcome to Mayor Mullet Redux

It’s as though the past few years have simply melted into the ether, and we’re back where we started. Except this time, there’s no report to be supposedly held secret from the mayor, no findings that she lied to authorities in her complaint about that, and most significantly, no Ray Burton.

That report considered it possible to sack more than 300 council staff for ‘an efficiency savings’, which Madam Mullet wanted so as to fund her ill-advised rates freeze vote catcher. And now she looks like she’s going to have her way. Up to a point.

But what a sanitized procedure it will be, and it has to be to distance our leader from the Clive Palmer’s of this world. With the connivance of the Townsville Bulletin, we are already hearing old rusted-on Labor speak about ‘fat cats’ … a traditional insult at the heart of Labor’s politics of envy., The idea is that ‘fat cats’ and ‘featherbedding’ are rife in the middle and upper management of the council. It has been signalled as a foregone conclusion, and that heads will roll after a new survey is done by consultants charging tens of thousands of dollars.

Indeed there may be an element of bureaucratic bulge. But with this city’s reputation spiraling into the perception of a economic wasteland, it will be a brave/foolish/spiteful move to sack a significant number of TCC staff at any level, for any reason, while at the same time promising improved services, frozen rates and water rebates. Because the broader question is not if Mayor Mullet can find the savings to use on her rate freeze etc agenda, but whether keeping people employed … and staying in Townsville … is the greater good under the current circumstances, when we’re supposed to trying to attract investment.

And wouldn’t it be the professionally courteous thing to wait until a new CEO is appointed and let him/her have input … after all, it will be the CEO who has to do the sacking.

So it seems the woman who wept politically convenient tears for sacked nickel workers will be dry eyed and whistling a happy tune as she shows some of council’s family breadwinners the door.

Show The Pollies What You Think Of Them – By Golly.

The Mad Katter goes within a whisker of ‘incitement to commit crime’ with his dog whistling quasi statement:

‘You can understand the cynicism and rage of the electorate, and the fury against politicians is more than justified. I’m surprised people don’t spit on them sometimes.’

Ummm, apart from being serious assault, bestowing such a gift of golly would that would include a politician who, in several guises and by his own admission has achieved precisely nothing in two decades in the job, and even now holds his cushy seat on preferences, being rejected on the last primary vote? Eh?

Things Are Getting Willing In The USA

Both sides are the seeking nut cruncher zinger, which sorta presents Trump with a problem. The ‘Pie’s brother mate suggested that if Trump becomes President, he will be the first multi-billionaire to move into a house just vacated by a black family.

Hillary seems to be carrying quite a bit of baggage into the election.

But serial rapist and criminal, hubby Bill will be there for her through thick and thin, even if her past catches up with her.

Want Some Choice ,,, Try One Or Buckleys

The abortion debate will flare up again when Trump and Clinton go head to head … Trump once said he favours fining women who have abortions, but Clinton will be on what is called the ‘Pro Choice’ side. Some choice, it seems.

And then there’s religion.

And finally, just because of the wordplay ….