For all her efforts and fingers-crossed bluster, our Labor mayor’s reward gets stabbed in the back by one of her own … it was no less than Anthony Albanese wielding the cutlery.
OK here’s something new … occasionally we hear of death threats made against politicians, but it’s a rarity to hear death threats made BY a politician (except in Russia). But that’s exactly what one candidate for Herbert has done … in print, in the newspaper. Did you miss it? The ‘Pie didn’t.
That TEL report that apparently says the Hell’s Gate Dam project is a you beaut money-spinner remains under lock and key until after the election … but to be fair to the Dudley’s, it’s not their fault … it’s not ‘their’ report.
And we can’t bring ourselves to treat this dreary and unedifying election campaign with much respect … why should we, they don’t respect us …. So we just look on the funny side of things.
But first, a moment if you please …
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Now onwards …
The Death Of Dignity And The Rise Of Teal Appeal
This is what happens when personality takes precedence over policy – the two major parties are proving the architects of their own eventual demise, and are both fuelling the voter fatigue that is driving thousands towards minor parties, independents and the inner urban ‘teal’ movement.
Fear, panic and an alarming lack of self-control has seen this election campaign descend into playground politics. Presidential-style one-on-one confrontations sees policies buried under a flurry of emotional point scoring. Bentley for one is disgusted.
The official campaign has sunk to the depths of social media, which is full of fuinny(ish) views like this:
And playground politics is also the theme of one of the most telling and apt analogies of this disheartening display from the majors. This is one for the ages that is too close to the truth to be comfortable.
And a message for young voters, waiting for some solid policy statements. Warning: they may not be solid.
Thought these folks might help keep the plague of politicians at bay, but turns out they are mainly concerned with fucking ants!
Dingbbats And Death Threats …
… or let’s call it Gobsmacker of the Week. A disbelieving ‘Pie posted this last Wednesday.
The Magpie
May 11, 2022 at 4:19 pm (Edit)
OK here’s something new …
Steven Clare Inp candidate for Herbert
Occasionally we hear of death threats made against politicians, but it’s a rarity to hear death threats made by a politician (except in Russia). But in another magnificent first for Townsville and it’s reputation as the IQ capital of NQ, independent whack-job candidate Steven Clare appears to have done just that in today’s Daily Astonisher. He placed this long and tediously jumbled thought-salad on page 14.
It was breathy yada yada yada blah blah blah for the most part but the kicker came at the end, when we read this:
This not only raises further questions about Clare’s emotional state mind (his drug dealing brother committed suicide after years of drug abuse) but his proofreading might be questionable, too … when he said ‘sing’ did he mean ‘swing’? It seems so, because ‘sing’ doesn’t make much sense, but then, just about none of it does as a candidate pitch. Not that it matters, the personal nature of the vigilante threat is undeniable.
This from an angry boofhead whose main platform plank is severe punishment for criminal youth. Yet he told the Townsville Bulletin: “My brother was an ice dealer. It wasn’t that he was born a bad person … it was just the natural thing to do in Townsville.’ Townsville, the city you wish represent, thanks you for threat ringing endorsement, Mr Clare.
Perhaps the AEC might want to have a quiet word with Mr Clare.
But For Some, law And Order Is A Matter Of Priorities
Aaron Harper is all fired up, and has had a gutful of wrong doers … he’s gunna sort them out. No, not kiddy crims and Townsville’s tsunami of juvenile crime, Aaron is tackling the real problems we face.
Aaron, you hole in the air, how about some tough new laws to protect people from ‘animals’ who mistreat them, as in the vicious, mainly indigenous juvenile criminals that you and your weak-kneed government let run wild in the city you are supposed to represent?
You are a thoughtless, out-of-touch bludger, Aaron, and you haven’t an ounce of shame or an inkling about public duty. Arrogant, too.
TEL Answers A Question The Bulletin Forgot To Ask
In TEL’s never-ending search for relevance and justification, they have amusingly ‘called on’ all parties to promise to fund the Hells Gate Dam, solely on the ‘trust me’ basis that a report they were commissioned to do finds that it’s a great idea … a report BTW that will not be released until AFTER the election. There was an interesting letter to the Bulletin recently on that very point.
So The ‘Pie waited, confident that the Bulletin’s tough, no-nonsense investigative reporters would jump on this and indignantly ask the obvious question, since Hell’s Gate is an election issue. When this turned out to be a triumph of hope over experience, and the Bulletin declining to make any such inquiry, The ‘Pie took it upon himself to ask TEL if they were playing politics and deliberately withholding the report.
Much to the old bird’s surprise, he promptly received a same-day reply from TEL’s Richard Norris, their Government & Stakeholder Relations Advisor … grand biz-talk for PR guy. And Dicky knows his stuff, seems the Dudley’s at last have a spokesperson who knows the ropes and doesn’t indulge in too much buzz word gobbledegook. … he just doesn’t seem to be asked enough questions from an incurious media. He offered a very professional background briefing full of (gasp!) facts, all of which offered a framework which made sense.
And his explanation was perfectly straightforward, indicating that TEL has absolutely no say in if and when the report can be release quote: “Townsville Enterprise was commissioned by the Queensland and Australian Governments to produce the Detailed Business Case, and the right to release or share the Detailed Business Case rests solely with the Queensland and Australian Governments.”
Mr Norris said TEL had obtained approval to release a ‘business case snapshot’, which is posted on their website.
So now the many interested parties as to this question know the answer, but not through the Bulletin. No idea why this question wasn’t asked by the paper that boasts it is the fount of all information worth knowing.
GIRRRRL Powert …
… The ‘Pie was interested to note that Mr Norris is one of just two sausages among a gaggle of vertical smiles that comprise the Dudley’s staff.
Which is all a good thing, because we have all been told so often how much smarter the gals are over the blokes. Townsville eagerly awaits the evidence of this apparent self-evident truth. And we won’t even make any snide remarks about TEL’s deputy chair, who is also our mayor.
Oh Dear, Has Jenny Hill Just Soiled Her Dainties?
It must’ve been the fastest ‘Hooray’ to ‘oh, fuck’ in history, when Mayor Mullet read about Labor’s backing for a ‘battery precinct’ in Queensland.
That was the hooray. The ‘oh fuck’ came immediately on reading the second line of the story: ‘Mr Albanese made the announcement in Gladstone, which he described as a priority in terms of a potential site for the precinct.’
In effect, Albanese was unwittingly (one assumes) offering a lament for Lansdown. It is anybody’s guess whether it had anything to do with federal Labor’s disdain for a Labor mayor who continually gets beaten pointless by a local federal LNP MP even on issues that none of Canberra’s business. And clearly has no party clout to make the three state twerps to act in the interests of the city.
Perhaps this snub gives Jenny a clear indications that her cherished dream of higher office within the Labor ranks, like a spot on their Senate ticket down the track is now dead in the water, drowned more comprehensively than the homes she purposely flooded ‘for the greater good’. Graceful retirement to the ancestral home in Malta must be looking more attractive by the minute.
And That Can’t Come A Moment For One Person In Particular
Clr Fran O’Callaghan has been squeezed out again.
Another Question For Our Mayor: Is There A Queue For This? Is Townsville In It?
Brisbane flood victims are being looked after … and their mayor didn’t even have anything to do with them being flooded. Any chance for Townsville, madam mayor?
Former Townsville Boy Makes Bad
We have a winner for The Magpie’s occasional award called … well, the trophy speaks for itself.
Like any small community, Townsville has always been justly proud of those of its sons and daughters who go out into the big wide world and make their mark, be it in business, medicine, the arts and most particularly, in sport. But perhaps this past week is one time we’d like to be NOT linked one of our most famous exports, renowned plot loser, Greg ‘The Meltdown King’ Norman.
Sportsmen are given to thoughtless and just plain dumb comments, but Norman gets the Golden Head Up Bum Award of the decade for this one.
So the ruler of Saudi Arabia orders that an outspoken opponent be lured to an embassy in a foreign country, murdered, then hacked up with a butchers saw to be ‘repatriated’ to his homeland is ‘a mistake’, Greg? So you can play golf and make further untold millions running a Saudi-backed rival comp to the PGA, while at the same time, make a murderous regime look good?
There’s a name for that, mate … it’s called ‘blood money’.
Disgraceful.
Vale Howard Osborne
| The Magpie |
Submitted on 2022/05/11 at 1:24 pm
Sad news indeed with the loss of Magistrate Howard Osborne (on left), who served as a magistrate in Townsville for a number of years. Well liked and well respected, Howard, who was appointed from the ranks of Legal Aid, was a thoroughly decent man on and off the bench. Never one to rush to judgement, Howard consistently delivered fair and considered outcomes. In my professional and private dealings with him, I never once saw him rise to anger. He was a fine person. Vale Howard. |
Let’s Clean Up America – Make Abortion Retrospective
The list is long, but doable.
The raging debate … which should not be a debate at all, it is a right … is threatening to open up arguments to ban travel across borders for the procedure and even in some far right demented religious communities, ban contraception.
Some have tried to engage The Magpie on this subject, but as said, it’s a right. There was a tweet that saves a lot of argument that sums up The ‘Pie’s view.
And vice versa.
This is not a matter of morality, which itself is no one else’s business in a consenting adult world, this is about a personal freedom, a personal right. Anywhere.
The USA is sinking deeper into division with democracy itself under threat. And it is strange and disturbing that writing that even a couple of years ago would have been to be labelled a conspiracy nut … today, it’s a timely alarm bell people are becoming increasingly aware of. Once again, this issue dominates our weekly gallery from America.
EXCLUSIVE: A Final Pledge from Smirko Morrison
A Final Warning To Labor
Better get your skates on, you’ve only got seven days to fuck this up, otherwise you might just wreck that great tradition of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory … and WIN.
…………………
That’s it … only another week of campaign fuckwittery to go, to be followed by three years of fuckwittery, no matter who wins. Have your say in comments. And that donate button to help The ‘Pie with blog bills is below. Thanks.
Mr Pie, the below paragraph, positioned under Bentleys pic, has a shortcut which does not work.
“And playground politics is also the theme of one of the most telling and insightful lampoons of this disheartening display from the majors. This is one for the ages that is too close to the truth to be comfortable.”
Not sure what the glitch was. Try it now.
Thanks for the heads up.
Phil Thompson announces funding for a splash park Upper Ross . The Mayor doesnt want City Deals $ spent at the Upper Ross but where is Aaron Harper its his electorate and City Deals includes the State sign off ? . Phil Thompson election commitment $5 mil Riverway lights and $700,000 Jabiru rd Park lights, $560,000 CCTV and Bollards in Townsville sporting fields to stop stolen cars tearing up the fields and children safety all things Aaron Harper couldnt get for his electorate . Riverway drive delays extended until August . Of course Aaron is popular with his fellow Government Ministers / members because he doesnt ask them for any funding or complain about issues in his electorate . He is good at writing letters to his Governments Ministers and facebook .
Jenny Hill has previously tried the race to upper levels in the ALP. She has previously ran for State Elections twice, and failed. Unfortunately, she was given the Mayor after T. Mooney chucked it in for more lucrative roles. Worst thing was the rusted on Laborites gave her the top job against a far better applicant of Jane Arlett, someone who actually had the skills to run the TCC as the business it is.
J Hill’s embarrassing and on-going treatment of Fran O’Callaghan is testament to her lack of suitability for the position of Mayor.
Quite so – mostly. Mooney didn’t chuck it in, he was chucked out in favour of Les Tyrell.
Apologies Magpie, getting older and the memory isn’t what it used to be. Forgot about Les Tyrell.
I quite liked Mooney Snr, decent sort of chap. Then again, I also liked the Impaler and don’t mind Hill, so maybe I have bad taste?
You certainly have good taste in blogs to exhibit your sense of humour.
The US Supreme Court in its January 22, 1973, decision on Roe v. Wade abolished virtually all abortion restrictions previously imposed at the state level in states across the country. That decision marked the beginning of an ongoing national debate on a woman’s right to choose to have an abortion. Some Americans think that abortion should be permitted at some stages of fetal development and in certain circumstances, while others strongly oppose abortion under any circumstances. Americans enjoy certain fundamental liberties which are protected by the US Constitution. The right to abortion is not one of these freedoms.
So there it is THERE IS NO RIGHT TO ABORTION UNDER THE US CONSTITUTION. That is why the SCOTUS wants to send abortion rulings back to the states where they belong.
The ‘Pie did not say it was a constitutional right, he clearly emphasised that it was a human right. All five justices who wrote the leaked opinion on Roe v Wade lied during confirmation hearings when they all separately said it should stand as established precedent. And BTW the power to make such a ruling does not belong anywhere except between a woman and her doctor.
And almost all the medievalists who want the right to control others on this issue are undoubtedly the ones who howled loudest about being told to wear a mask for the community’s safety.
The implied right which the SCOTUS found in the US Constitution in Roe was not the right to an abortion, but a right of privacy – the implied right of privacy the court found in turn led to the right to an abortion. As a black-letter lawyer it is not difficult to challenge that conclusion (that there is an implied right to privacy and thus abortion) without being anti-abortion – the law in this respect is properly left to the individual States, a significant number of which have very liberal abortion laws. As someone has recently said – there is a difference between pro-abortion and pro-choice, and the decision must always be that of the woman in question with full recourse to the necessary abortion services if she chooses to abort.
Just came access this article from the Guardian, which personally I agree with. I find Crisafulli to be a far right vote chaser, picking on fringe issues and making noise but no impact. His Facebook page is filled with comments from far right nutters.
https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2022/may/14/queensland-shows-what-happens-when-liberals-desert-the-liberal-party-election?CMP=soc_567
Which reminds me that during the week a post was made by his Facebook page trying to discredit the Qld Forensic Services Lab and thus the Labor government in Queensland for not helping women who get sexually assaulted. Seems a little ironic considering the performances of the federal LNP.
https://fb.watch/c-Vna_1kHG/
One of the biggest stories in Queensland right now should be the failures of the Queensland Forensic Services Lab. It has been failing for nearly a decade. This has come to light in a podcast by Hedley Thomas called “Shandee’s Story”, dealing with the brutal murder of Shandee Blackburn in Mackay. There is an internal inquiry taking place, but Dr Kirsty Wright is calling for shutting it down and having a complete external audit done. Bruce Morcombe said that Daniels killers DNA was taken 2 weeks after his murder, but the Lab failed to find any traces!
One persons comment was “ if you are going to commit rape or murder, do it in Queensland “
Forensics in this state, and in actions in places like Townsville, has been a big problem for years, frustrating police, judges and prosecutors alike.
Indeed, ‘Pie
On 7/5/22 the Weekend Oz reported that QPS were sending evidence ( a dog leash used to commit murder) to New Zealand for DNA testing! This is to solve a 40 year old murder in Capalaba.
So why is one Queensland department (QPS) not using Qld Forensic Service ( which is run by Qld Health) for testing?
A few years ago, some thick senior wallopers were calling for a special forensic unit to be run by -ta da – the Queensland Police Service. Much hilarity in legal circles ensued. That anecdote underlines the fact that there should be a well-funded independent Forensic Service set up, and it shouldn’t even be run by Queensland Health – especially not in criminal matters – and be transparently at length from any government interference. Especially when the QPS is basically an arm of government, and no matter what they say, can be heavily swayed by ministerial dog whistling.
Just in.
Symonds, 46, who lived in Townsville, was killed in a car accident west oif the city overnight.
The Bulletin reports:
Queensland police released a statement to say the single-car crash occurred on late on Saturday night at Hervey Range, where it is believed Symonds was driving up Hervey Range Road, near Alice River Bridge, when the car left the road and rolled.
Paramedics attempted to revive him but he later died at the scene as a result of his injuries.
I wonder if the fools at TEL, including the well named Ms B-S, are really sure about taxpayers spending $5.4b on Hells Gate for the avocado farms, considering that there is already an oversupply of avocados, so much so that farmers are dumping them and letting them rot;
https://amp.theguardian.com/food/2022/may/10/smashed-avocados-fruit-dumped-in-queensland-amid-bumper-harvest-and-rising-transport-costs
And of course, don’t forget that the clown duo of Gill and Hill are on the TEL board. These two muppets have no business sense and would fail in procuring the building of a garden pond!
Somebody should tell Tony Koch that the area in question is Katter country.
Re the statement by Steve Clare, I believe the word ‘sing’ is when the villain rats out his suppliers in this instance, and it has no other sinister meaning. Clare, by being so outspoken is playing a very dangerous game here, he is only one person in a sea of big money crime and the ones who stand to lose the most could easily hire an interstate hit man similar to Donald McKay’s case. A lot of Clare’s policies are probably impossible to implement, but at least he’s having a go! I’d rather see him get the 4% magic vote figure so he covers his expenses than Palmer get the millions he’s spent back for telling deliberate mistruths! This election will surely be the WORST result for Australia ever seen, with so many so called independents, most of whom are ghosting for the Greens/labor party that hopes to win!
Great blog again this week Magpie. I also noted Albo’s meeting of yet another industry initiative, re the battery plant for Gladstone. It would seem that our neighbours down south have a Mayor and Council who roll up their sleeves and roll out the welcome Matt to big industry. Unlike our narcissistic stain Jenny Hill, who bullies, pushes and exempts industry from getting to ‘have a go’ locally. This fool has put her wrecking ball through the Ville for the past decade. Enough is enough. Someone please give her a V8 toy and tell her to fuck off once and for all.
Rollmop. We gave her a V8 toy, it didn’t end well.
Perhaps we just cut to the “fuck off”?
Rollmop, on one hand you say “Jenny Hill, who bullies, pushes and exempts industry from getting to ‘have a go’ locally”, while on the other you whinge and whine because Jenny Hill has invited Magnus to set up shop in an industrial site at Lansdown (alongside others) and pulled dollops of federal, state and ratepayer’s money in to facilitate and otherwise subsidise it. Or have you overlooked Lansdown because it doesn’t fit your narrative?
Tragic news about Simmo. He was a true-blue Aussie who played cricket like he lived his life – to the full.
He loved nothing more than catching fish and mud crabs, and shooting feral pigs in the canefields.
I’ve never heard anyone say a bad word about him.
The world has lost one of its true characters too soon.
RIP mate.
Greg Norman is a fucking idiot. Greedy money hungry grub. This idiot needs to quit posing naked, and just enjoy the wealth that he has. Dealing with the Saudi’s is unconscionable. Careful you don’t end up at chop chop square on a Friday, Greg.
Townsville’s Step Son.
Greg Norman was born in Mt Isa then spent a couple of years in Townsville as a kid before moving to Brisbane and then on to the Gold Coast. Hardly one of Townsville’s sons.
A fairly typical comment, we claim folks when they are winners and repudiate them when we are losers. Russell Crowe is an Aussie unless he fucks up, then he’s a kiwi.
There have been many stories – including a recent one about the sale of his childhood home at Rowes Bay – over the years.
Albanese pledge of an extra $1 billion for Medicare is barely CPI or have I read it wrong ..
Equivalent too
Jenny Hill – always the bridesmaid and never the bride. I recall that AnAL flew to Gladstone to hand pick Matt Burnett (Gladstone Mayor) to represent Labor at a Federal level. But he never flew to Townsville to hand pick the Mullet. The Mullet is dead in Labor’s eyes, she will never be seconded to a Federal role, she won’t get the chance. She will drift and grift around the edges, jag a board position here and there, hang around the LGAQ hallways a little bit, but she will never be a big player. She is damaged goods. In fact, a complete arseclown.
Mr. Pie, a NewsWire report this afternoon:
“Jenny Morrison says her husband has always been prepared to tackle whatever lands on his desk, as Scott Morrison pleads his case for re-election.”
Are you thinking what I’m thinking, Mr. Pie? And then this:
“Whatever came across his (Scott’s) desk, he would just be right – what are we going to do about this now?” she said.
The conjured up visual is just too revolting to contemplate!!
Ah, memories from the 80s … Jan Murray, hubby Tourism Minister John Brown and the ‘Knickers it the Ashtray’ affair …
https://www.thewire.org.au/story/a-life-of-sheer-madness/
Documentary about skin cancer tonight on Channel 7 named Townsville specifically being the skin cancer capital of the World. Spin that Bulletin and TEL.
What’s your fucking point dipshit? Serious issue that causes serious heartache and deserves serious attention and your go to is take a swipe at TB and TEL likely trying to spin it. Into what? Is a reminder from either of these to cover up or take precautions considered spin in your pathetic, insignificant universe? FFS, what the fuck has TEL even got to do with this? Seriously, I hope you’ve got a houseful of plants mate cos you’re a deadset oxygen thief.
Dickhead. Occam’s Razor is one of the pseudonyms that NMD uses when he/she/it can’t handle watching its beloved Labor grubs copping a pasting….Poor Magpie, I can only imagine the crap you have to sift through each day Malcolm.
Not a mention in online Bulletin. This should be front page stuff. Not reporting it is spin itself. Unless of course the Bulletin junior reporters have missed another important story. And perhaps it will wake TEL up to stop pushing sunshine as the number one marketing tool. 320 days of sunshine a year is a negative, not a selling point. Mainstream National media has reported facts that need to be repeated and actioned locally to save lives in our city. If I’m an oxygen thief for calling out these two so called responsible organisations, then arrest me for theft. This is not global recognition that anybody should ignore.
Sounds like you’re a bit browned off.
Hmmm, a bit too much vitriol methinks, Pie. Many of us live for the fabulous weather here. And if there are risks attached then we, as a reasonably intelligent species, need to manage those risks as we do so many of the other dangerous activities we undertake from day to day, like uninformed voting, tailgating, riding scooters, eating fast food, DUI, speaking one’s mind, greeting your wife’s sister with uncalled-for enthusiasm, hang gliding, surfing with sharks, salties, and stingers, and other fun stuff .
What’s your sister-in-laws phone number, mate?
Kenny, stop being an emotional fool. Resorting to quips about “oxygen thieves” is so silly. The world is a wonderful place, put down the keyboard and do as I do and go for a stroll, do some painting or tend to the flowers.
Give Ring a Go.
First class marketing, well done Dolan, once again proving his worth to the party.
Phil Thompson should be polishing his resume if the mumbles around the pre poll are anything to go by.
Tres droll, Prickster, so droll.
The “give Ring a go” is the catch phrase on the shirts at the booth.
It’s fascinating to watch the actions and reactions of people at prepoll.
Should work well in the gay community.
Sound s like gay grooming to me.
Is that how you got your name?
My favourite moment at pre-poll was when one voter had a question ready for each of the candidates and word got to John Ring about the keen voter asking questions and he ran away before he was asked! You can witness so much at pre poll!
he wasn’t running away, he was looking for Dolan.
Just when you think The Mullet has hit the bottom, we find out that there is a basement level of bat shit bitterness she can stoop to.
https://www.townsvillebulletin.com.au/news/townsville/coalition-government-promises-5m-for-riverway-stadium-broadcast-lights-if-elected/news-story/d20c1f68fd3b1458bc4881f9cf0a7153
Is that the dude my girlfriend’s granddaughter’s schoolfriend calls “inya”? Just looks
a bit like him. Just wondering
Dolan is a lazy and impotent politician. Instead of tackling the big problems in the region, he just scoots around the perimeter picking off the low hanging fruit. Townsville has been ill-represented by local, state and federal government for way too long. We haven’t even been able to source a decent TCC CEO either. Our local representatives should hang their heads in shame for the pathetic work they do.
Agree
PR. Dolan is not/never a politician.
The closest he has come was working for ‘His Radiance’ at TCC media & event’s department
Katie Hall
Follow
less than 2 min read
May 17, 2022 – 8:55AM
Townsville Bulletin
“POLICE are on the hunt for the alleged culprits of two motorcycle dealership rammings in Townsville overnight.
I’m confused Mr. Pie…did it actually happen??
Of course it did. That just means the police are looking for a couple of alleged unknown people they can allege did the alleged ramming. And when the alleged police officers allegedly arrest the alleged miscreants, and they are taken before an alleged magistrate, the alleged accused will not be able to plead that the Bulletin allegedly interfered with them getting an alleged fair trial. Can’t you allegedly read, Flutterby?
That damn 7.30 Report, always asking the wrong questions, like ‘Will you resign if you lose the election?’
Well here’s an exclusive in the Daily Astonisher when we posed the right question.
Scott and Jenny Morrison looking at the a model of the Hawaiian planned community where they have bought off the plans.
‘Look, let’s face it,’ he harried PM told reporters, ’Day in and day out, I’ve been taking one for the team. I wanted to call it quits months ago and hand the reins over to Dutts, but the party room wouldn’t have it, and begged me to stay the course.’
He said he had reluctantly agreed, because there was no other way Peter Dutton (‘my mate Pete Dutts’, as he put it) would ever get to be Prime Minister.
But Morrison said if he had been forced to use his charisma and multi-skilling talents to win the poll for the Libs, he would still be quitting at the victory party.
‘Enough is enough, and Jenny agrees, it’s time to retire. And if we win, we’ll be able to draw on our super to buy a beaut little ten bedroom bungalow we have out eye on in the hills overlooking Honolulu.’
‘Time to put the feet up, and stop doing things,’ Morrison told a respectfully silent media conference. ‘I’ll still be able to get the Sharkies’ game on satellite.’
‘But make no mistake, I’ll always be an Aussie and I’ll be there for the country if I’ve ever needed … like I always have been,’ he said, pointing out that he was only 15 minutes away from Honolulu Airport.
In what was believed to be an historical first, when he called for questions, there weren’t any. News Ltd reporters had tears in their eyes, and Paul Murray was openly weeping.
In response to Mr Morrison’s resignation news, Opposition leader Anthony Albanese said: “Honolulu? Is that a real place? Is it a marginal seat?”
Jim Chalmers moved forward taking the brunt of the questions from that point. “Don’t believe anything Morrison says, Albo. Honolulu is another lie from the LNP”
The Astonisher reports that allegedly Honolulu is an alleged real place because it allegedly has an airport.
Neat.
Honolulu is also a great place to hold a hose, mate.
… and given his vast array of multi-skilling work talents, won’t have any trouble finding work to supplement his meagre retirement income. Expect Instagram pix of him raffia-plaiting tourist hats.
Not my job
E.T lookalike and chief potato, Peter Dutton, has lost out to a refugee advocate in regards to a defamation ruling ruling which ordered the advocate to pay the Potato $35k over an online tweet. I imagine the Potato won’t be too happy, but I reckon it’s all quite funny.
Actually not really funny although know what you mean. The overturning is more important than it seems, because this was public figure’s bullyboy tactic to cow others who may wish to comment on other matters involving those in power with deep pockets. In short, a fuerther curtailment of our rapidly eroding breadth of free speech.
This is the full article.
https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2022/may/17/shane-bazzi-wins-appeal-in-defamation-case-over-peter-dutton-tweet?https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2022/may/17/shane-bazzi-wins-appeal-in-defamation-case-over-peter-dutton-tweet?utm_term=628301a378d510586d9eefbca0c2b8c6&utm_campaign=GuardianTodayAUS&utm_source=esp&utm_medium=Email&CMP=GTAU_email
FYI, RR Dam level at 97.2%.
Jenny watching closely.
Magpie, you should look more closely yourself rather than over the mayor’s shoulder. At noon today the Ross River dam was at 93%.
Both … or all three of us wrong … in The ‘Pie’s case, accidentally and carelessly transposing two crucial numbers. What’s your excuse … close enuff good enuff, ya reckin?
Actually, you were using Twitter I think, I was using the Council’s website which rounds the percentage to the nearest whole number. Which has dropped by one percentage point during the day:
Latest Reading
Date:
17/05/2022 20:00:00
Percent Full:
92%
Volume:
215043 ML
92.2% at 8pm … on Twitter. Who gunna call, Dam Busters?
BREAKING: Anthony Albanese has just stormed out of a press conference, refusing to answer questions on his policy costings.
Source Liberal Party of Australia.
Who do you believe?
The Magpie was not joking when he recently suggested any integrity commission’s terms of reference should include the media … and this is a prime example, led by the Murdoch media. Albanese did not ‘storm out of a press conference’ nor did he ‘flee’ the press pack … they galloped after him when he decided to leave because of the totally unreasonable behaviour of the press hyenas. AND THIS ALL AFTER HE HAD ACTUALLY ANSWERED THEIR QUESTION ABOUT COSTINGS. The fact that they didn’t like the answer smacks of the growing arrogance of the bimbo and bluster press corp. So for the record, and for the record, Albanese was not at this particular press howling at the moon jamboree to talk about costings and budget deficits, but when asked, he politely said he would be talking more about this subject at the Press Club tomorrow and all costings would be released on Thursday. But silly old Albo, eh, still under the delusion that Labor is running their campaign and not the media? They demanded answers now that suited them, hopefully for a blaring headline or two.
British Prime Minister Stanley Baldwin’s verdict on a hostile media of the day holds as true today as it did then … only the names have been changed to identify the guilty.
“The newspapers attacking me are not newspapers in the ordinary sense,” Baldwin said. “They are engines of propaganda for the constantly changing policies, desires, personal vices, personal likes and dislikes of the (proprietors). What are their methods? Their methods are direct falsehoods, misrepresentation, half-truths, the alteration of the speaker’s meaning by publishing a sentence apart from the context…What the proprietorship of these papers is aiming at is power, and power without responsibility – the prerogative of the harlot throughout the ages.”
In an age where honour and integrity were always observed, Baldwin had asked the original author of the ‘harlot’ quip, his first cousin Rudyard Kipling, if he could use it … Kipling agreed and ironically, history often sees Baldwin incorrectly named as the originator.
As much as I detest the lamestream media and their biased approach to reporting, e.g the Murdoch lapdogs who do his dirty work, I am more dismayed at the naivety and stupidity of a gullible public who swallow the median shit as if it was some kind of wonder drug. We have definitely entered a new paradigm where rather than do analytical and seasoned reporting, the reporters prefer to place this ‘gotcha’ game. All that does is make themselves look like complete fucktards. I get it, AnAL and SCOMO in a hi-vis vest cooking biscuits or hammering a nail into plywood is as exciting as watching grass grow, but instead of posing mature questions to the politicians, the moronic press packs are indulging in tomfoolery and wasting valuable opportunities.
Well, fortunately, there are some gold teeth left in this mouth-full of decaying bleeding gums. Kohler is always readable and mostly believable – and he has a nicely understated sense of humour …. and some sites are generally reliable like the Guardian, The New Daily and INQueensland (they’re affiliated) aren’t to bad. Sales is always fair if insistent – at least she doesn’t keep interrupting like a couple of ABC radio hosts (bring back F Kelly, please) which The ‘Pie no longer listens to. But then anything is more reliable than the now totally discredited Murdoch muckrakers.
He sort of did. But he told them that the costs would be revealed on Thursday night…and that was that. It really is obvious he doesn’t handle pressure very well. Wait ‘til his fellow comrades pull out the knives…win OR lose.
The ‘Pie sticks by his view, and as for pressure, tough questioning is one thing, but yelling over each other and not accepting an answer because it doesn’t suit reporters is a whole new ball game. And frankly, the Australian voting public deserve better than the piss-poor egotistical bimbo and boofhead behaviour on show this campaign.
Maybe we give these Murdoch lapdog reporters a new title – The Murdochai. Which means ‘a group of unprofessional biased reporters whoring themselves on behalf of their pimp, Rupert’. Hell, I like that. Someone send that to Kevin Rudd!
When in opposition, the Libtards pulled the same stunt – release their costings on a Thursday, with the election then held on the Saturday. That stunt is about as old the Magpie himself!! They all do it. Electioneering is a strategic game and most of what they tell you is either outright bullshit or craftily worded commentary filled with empty meaning. The majority of voters get brain fucked for a month or more during the campaign without even realising it.
“The majority of voters get brain fucked for a month or more during the campaign without even realising it.”
Not sure what being “brain fucked” does to or for you, Rollmop but I think you’ll find that most voters know exactly what they are doing when they fill in their ballot paper. Mind you, seeing those yellow adverts day after day in the newspaper would turn some people off their tucker and maybe the newspaper itself.
We yes, Addled, ‘most voters know exactly what they are doing when they fill in their ballot paper.’ They know one thing for absolute certain … that they are filling in their ballot paper. What they don’t know is what they will get for their trouble. No matter who wins, it would be wise to remember Kevin Spacey’s character Frank Underwood in House of Cards when accused on going back on a campaign pledge: ‘I didn’t go back on my word, I am simply re-evaluating the parameters of my promise.’
The ‘Pie’s bet: first to go will be Hell’s Gate.
Really Addled? One example of these ‘brain fucked voters’ can be seen in the Townsville region – over 10 years of Frau Hill. Yep, most voters are really smart aren’t they??
Rollmop, given their choices . . . Can you even remember the name of the mayoral candidate you backed?
The Magpie old ?? Lost the odd tail feather and a lot less swooping but old ? Geez, they’re a tough crowd out there tonight, Pie !
Jatz, I made my comment tongue-in-cheek and with much affection for the old Bird.
The Magpie is a bird and is old, although for the moment his grip on the twig remains firm. So no offence taken.
Anyone know if big George, from the Fish n Chip ladies party, is actually ‘campaigning’?
Yep, he was spotted on P. Burgos st. Makati, RPI
It’s a mad dash to the finish line for our desperate politicians.
– Scomo has promised to no longer be a bulldozer,
– Albo has been almost literally running from media packs,
– Beetroot Head poses topless in the NT in some rock pool,
– Mr Potato Head continues to taunt the Chinese,
– PUP, KAP, PHON and the Teale’s continue to be a threat to the majors.
“PUP KAP PHON” sounds like a North Korean politician, and seems just as stable and unlikely to nuke us all to kill a spider.
Like it!
So Scotty the Bulldozer took out a little kid on the football field! Bahahaha. What a fucking buffoon. Almost as stupid as that other retarded Liberal PM, John Howard, when he tried to bowl a cricket ball and ended up looking like a complete fucktard. What is it with these morons that they have no motor skills, only the skill to lie, deceive, spin, and bullshit endlessly.
The Gold Coasts lunatic Mayor and chief religious nut job, Tom Tate, has closed the Councils ‘prayer room’ to the public. Apparently that’s because some Satanists tried to book the room. You can’t make this shit up! After hiring a ‘spiritual adviser’ and adding her to the Councils payroll, they opened up a prayer room for all and sundry to use, including the ridding of bad spirits from the Council building. What in the wide world of sports is going on down South. This is some seriously kooky Pete Newey shit. How the fuck can this nut job remain in charge of such a large Council? He makes the Mullet look like a rational and sensible person.
Just heard on the radio that Albo will not be present at the unveiling of Labor’s policy costings tonight. I guess Labor didn’t want to take a chance on ‘Abacus Albanese and his forgotten figures’ headlining the event. I wonder if they’ve tried to banish the attack dog media as well.
Outcome is tipped to be Commercial-non-Confidence.
Unemployment 3.9% = Best government in 48 years.
Hahahahaha, very clever bit of merriment. Thought you were serious for a moment, until the maths showed that you think Billy McMahon’s lot were the best until now … 2022 – 48 = 1972 … so your 48 years include the chaotic Whitlam shambles which started in 1972. So Billy One Big Ear McMahon gets your nod. Very amusing if unbelievable. Or did someone at the Bulletin do your maths for you?
Suggesting the Whitlam Government was on top of the economy because of initially low unemployment inherited largely from the preceding government, is an interesting interpretation. This from an historical Fin Review perspective in 2014.
What should we remember most about the Whitlam government?
The turmoil born of the frustration and paranoia of 23 years of opposition: the police raid on ASIO led by the attorney- general Lionel Murphy , the breakdown in relations between the government and the bureaucracy, and the secret attempt to borrow the 2014 equivalent of almost $25 billion though a Pakistani broker, Tirath Khemlani?
The lasting reforms like Medicare, free university education, needs-based school funding, Aboriginal land rights, the creation of the Industries Assistance Commission (now the Productivity Commission) and the first steps towards opening the economy to the competition and innovation of the rest of the world?
Gough Whitlam lost control of the budget in 1974-75, and it took 20 years and four prime ministers to get it back under control.
Or the mismanagement in which wages rose 25 per cent in one year, inflation reached almost 18 per cent, unemployment doubled, and government spending grew by 20 per cent in real terms in 1974-75?
And the worst thing – we, the taxpayer, paid this old prick for an additional 30 years after he ‘left’ government. The same way we pay KRudd, Turnbull, Gillard, Howard, a motley crew of leaches still sucking on the taxpayer teat even though their legacy is woeful., getting hundreds of thousands of dollars per year plus an office, staff and a car, what a fucking joke. As George Carlin once said; “It’s one giant club and we ain’t part of it”. Yep, good on ya Gough, you grub.
It’s Arsetonisher Arythmatic……..
The numbers do confirm Morrison Government is best since 1974…….
In one statistic, perhaps.
its better than the ALP spending $8,400, 000, 000 more than the Coalition budget.
Roll on higher taxes.
I totally agree. 3.9% is incredible, not to mention unbeatable. We won’t have figures like that again for decades. And if Labor win, well we will be up the creek for the next century.
Magpie, I’m the original Addled. This new one’s a fake. Bye.
As stated here before, if some bobbleheads want to play the imbecile with names, there’s not much I can do about it. So the policy is to just publish what comes in if the comment obeys the rules of engagement. Unless you can suggest soemthing?
Great, it’s bad enough having 1 x Addled, but now we have 2? One Addled is one fuckwit too many.
Perhaps close the blog down?
Don’t fucking tempt me!
What is the collective noun for a gathering of Addleds?
We’ll work on that.
When The ‘Pie was writing for the Bulletin, he did a column on collective nouns, and the question came up, what is the collective noun for a group of prostitutes on a street corner. One clever bloke suggested that since they were offering short term love in exchange for money, they were a Firm of Solicitors.
For Magpies it is, amongst others, A Mischief of Magpies. I think the Mullet would agree.
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://birdfact.com/articles/what-is-a-group-of-magpies-called%23:~:text%3DThere%2520are%2520many%2520collective%2520nouns,referred%2520to%2520as%2520a%2520parliament.&ved=2ahUKEwjk8_vbiOv3AhUW8XMBHeDcBZkQFnoECA4QBQ&usg=AOvVaw2RiF30Zt9In2NP3XrPAPi-
Prefer the more accurate alternative offered there … a Charm of Magpies.
And BTW, believe the collective noun of a group cheetahs is … a Parliament of cheetahs. True, BTW.
Can you see IP addresses of commenters in the comment approval queue?
Actually, yes. Very good point, but it does condemn The ‘Pie to a lot more checking, like he hasn’t got enough to do already … and all for free (hint hint). Got the analytics for my computer the other day … 9 hours + every day for the past month.
Pauline Hanson has Covid and unable to undertake any more personal appearances. Small mercies.
Well, that might enhance her chances.
This time it’s only minor, but this is the sort of thing that happens when you have a mob of disinterested blow-ins with little sense of community history running the paper that is all for us.
From last Saturday’s Bulletin.
It’s been nine years and two other names since any stadium in Townsville was called Dairy Farmers. Doubt the initial and current naming rights holder Queensland Country Bank will be too chuffed with this effort, and one believes the iditor has a flea in his ear about it.
‘Would’ve saved a lot of trouble if that other ideally named company had taken The Magpier’s suggestion and snapped up naming rights for it to be aptly called Total Tools Stadium.
Harry Bruce is neither funny, clever or smart.
In fact he would be the worst cartoonist at News Corporation.
Seems one of of Harry’s problems is his output … he does work for half a dozen papers on a daily basis all on local issues dictated by the individual editor’s advice (who are mostly blow-ins without a strong grasp of the local community history). Doesn’t give one much time for fine tuning or second thoughts, so yes, a lot of his work seems rushed and not very well thought out … and although he sometimes really nails an issue, it’s rarely funny or telling.
Unlike your regular comments here, published and unpublished … they are consistently hilarious, for which we all thank you.
Mr Pie, perhaps you could share some moderation duties with one or two people? That way you would have a little bit of help in the Nest. Just don’t ask Plucka or the Steve the Belgian twit to help out. That would create more work for you to fix up.
god grief!!! On all counts.
But thanks for the thought.
Hey Elusive Caterpillar, I wouldn’t let you anywhere near the blog management either, with some of the remarks you come with, INCLUDING the idiotic suggestion you’ve made to The Pie!
Pie the collective name of a group of cheetahs is a coalition. A parliament of is the epithet of a group of owls.
Oops, yup, just went on memory. But even better.
And a group of Murdoch reporters is a Murdochai.
And a group of washing machines is called Ma Kelly’s laundromat. Stevie, the Belgian Dipshit would know that. Stevie and Ma Kelly have probably turned the place into a polling booth for tomorrow.
Big drama in the art world in regards to the Archibald Prize winner. It seems that art was the loser and woke, climate change ideology won the day with a very amateurish effort by a black artist of an aboriginal woman standing knee deep in the Lismore floods. Arty types are crying foul.
The ‘Pie agrees in this instance, and thought so the moment the prize was announced. And we’re not alone, Scooterman.
These two stories ran side by side in the Australian this week.
But let’s take a closer look at those reports and comments. First, the winner picked up his $100,000 prize, and promptly attacked the sales commissions charged by gallery owners.
Then The Australian’s art critic belly-flopped into the woke pool of the Archibald judges, with this …
It’s a point of view worth arguing, so let’s get a couple of things straight. Art, like beauty, is certainly in the eye of the beholder, but things get tricky and more than just heated (such things have ended up in court) when the argument is comparing and espousing the merits of contrasting paintings. Most of these arguments are pointless (I say Warhol, you say arsesole, let’s call the whole thing off.) but the naysayers in this one .,.. and there are many more than just Mr Allen … have a very arguable point. Because for starters here is the basic entry rule of the Archibalds …
The prize is awarded by the Trustees of the Art Gallery of New South Wales for the best portrait of a person famous in Art, Letters, Science or Politics.
The operative word is famous … hands up those who have heard of Karla Dickens, let alone name any of her works? (Yes, yes, there’ll be some smarties with special agendas out there who will decrying The ‘Pie’s obvious ignorance of Ms Dickens). And it is undeniable that the painting (and the artist for that matter) tick all the fashionable ideological boxes of the moment – a female indigenous subject, indigenous artist, a dress with an aboriginal motifs, and reference to a recent disaster – the Lismore floods.
The pressure on the judges must have been immense, all being ever mindful to deflect disparaging comments at their regular round of dinner parties, gallery opening and appearances on The Drum.
That said, what is eminently arguable is Mr Allen’s bald assertion that Robert Hannaford’s self portrait was ‘the outstanding work in this year’s exhibition’. Says who, apart from sez you and some arty chums you selectively canvassed? And cattily adding in that it was an act of deliberate spite against Hannaford fuelled by the judges’ reluctance to choose a male white painter for the prize is not just attacking the judges choice, but their supposed motivations and integrity. Including racism and sexism. Dangerous ground, mate, take The ‘Pie’s word for it.
The Archibald prize has been a hotbed of controversy, litigation and a lawyers’ picnic many times since its inception in 1921. And it will not be the least surprising if this year’s fall-out doesn’t head to mediation if not litigation.
If The Magpie can cost News Corpse a million dollars in costs and cop a handy few bob in damages for the cheek of the The Australian calling him an habitual drunk on the job, one imagines that if the judges are affronted enough by Mr Allen’s assessments, they can start checking real estate sites for the darling little pink stucco villa in Tuscany they’ve had their eye on.
Ok peeps, tomorrow is your chance to vote in someone Federally who might actually get some positive things done for our region. After all, he has been getting some funding for us, he has done more than Labor has. Plus 3 years of Phil going head to head with his number 1 hater, Jenny Hill will not only be lots of fun, it should also be long enough for him to crush her into oblivion.
Doubt it.
Tried to think of a polite way to put this but couldn’t so …
THIS IS A FUCKING LIE.
There is no such claim … there have been general discussions about future cooperative possibilities, but NO ONE of the 193 countries included in these talks has gone anywhere near suggesting they would give up their sovereignty in this area.
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/biden-usa-sovereignty-who/?utm_campaign=Snopes%20Debunker%20-%
The sad thing is there are a load of bobbleheads out there who will believe it.
Truth in advertising stops with political advertising. All sorts of baseless claims and scare tactics have been made over the years from all sides of politics. Six years ago it was the ALP sending text messages that Medicare would be dismantled is the Libs were re-elected.
Steven Clare had a full page of diarrhea in todays paper. At the end of it he admitted that he only wanted 4% of first preferences so that he could get his money back.
Clive’s party can hate on the Chinese all they like, but it is Chinese money that is paying for the advertising, c/- the $1m a day Fatso is getting in mining royalties from them.
Just like I said in my limited defence of Steve Clare and my hopes for his gaining 4% of the vote over Palmer, who just has to be the most dishonest ‘politician’ we have seen to date in this session!! At least Pauline will try to do what she says!!!
Well, here’s a candidate.
The second and equally important question to ponder too is SMALL????
Obviously not Clive’s as this one is size ‘S’.
But could be for Shithead?
The state of play on election eve.
A great unbiased analysis based on their poll findings. projections based on data not opinions.
https://www.roymorgan.com/findings/8981-federal-voting-election-summary-may-20-2022-202205200633
Enjoy Election Day boys and girls. I will be watching closely.
Hey magpie. Just a heads up for any election punters. I am in Cairns (leave booked well before election date called) and with my old Alp and cpsu union contacts got talking to Elida Faith and Warren Entsch insiders. LNP admitted Entsch magic gone and they expect anALP gain here. In Herbert sorry Ringo but LNP hold expected there. Also putting a bet on Dutton losing as well (a wink and a nod to a blind bat tip off.) Cheers from Cairns. Dazza North Ward