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The Magpie

Sunday, April 25th, 2021   |   190 comments

Lest We Forget

On this Anzac Day, The Magpie Pays Tribute to the dedicated men and women who served – some giving the ultimate sacrifice – to defend the freedoms that make blogs like this possible.

We will never forget.



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If The Magpie Weren’t Such Humble Old Bird, This Week’s Headline Could Be ‘Told You So’.

Several matters that have featured in The Magpie’s Nest, both recently and over time, have moved into the spotlight elsewhere in the past few days.

Jenny Hill felt the heat of the Castle Hill handkerchief park and shelter shed cock-up strongly enough to allow the Astonisher to print her lame justification of this missed opportunity. Totally unconvincing, totally Jenny.

And News Ltd is forced to unceremoniously dump its invented readership measurement outfit, EMMA (Enhanced Media Metrics Australia) , and return to the more reliable and experienced Roy Morgan people. The dramatic back-flip forcing the print media back to honesty was demanded by the one group able bully the bully.

That news came a few days after Bulletin iditor Craig Warhust made a buffoon of himself with EMMA’s latest batch of figures. They were OK figures, but our iditor managed to make them ludicrous.

One of the initial instigators of the Cowboys NRL team says the Cowboys management has lost its way – and needs an urgent change of personnel … not on the field, but in the boardroom.

Is Les Walker in line for royal honours? It is certainly a possibility if Premier Alphabet continues her new enthusiasm for sprinkling laughable honourifics among her former failed colleagues.

But first, this being Anzac Day and we all being mindful sacrifices made to protect our way of life, this national story should leads us off this week. …

Canberra To Beijing: ”Hit The Road And Belt Up’

Vic Belt and Road deal torn up Screen Shot 2021-04-24 at 10.05.04 am Screen Shot 2021-04-24 at 10.05.48 am

Good start.

Now for the Port of Darwin and then the massive water rights and agricultural interests owned by the Chinese government-linked companies.


And one supposes it would be too much to ask for the prosecution of the treasonous former minister Andrew Robb, who engineered the Darwin deal with Shandong Landbridge just before leaving government to take a lucrative job with that company. But of course it’s too much, because he was a minister in Liberal government which allowed him to broker this inexplicable sale to Australia’s greatest looming threat.

Changing Horses … And Jockeys

NB All mentions of the ‘Cowboys board’ in the following article refers to the ‘Football Club’, NOT the ‘Leagues Club’.

As regular readers know, The ‘Pie rarely delves into the braying zoo of sports reporting, but now that practice of large people running into each other or throwing balls amongst themselves is a billion dollar business, the off-field management is crucial to the supply of half-time oranges.

The Cowboys – sometimes cruelly lampooned here as the Cowplops – are at a low point in the established wave chart algorithm of success, a fluctuation that affects all sporting outfits at regular intervals.

But Doug Kingston, one of the men who actively promoted the idea and helped bring the Cowboys into being, says it is a failure at board level responsible for the Cowboys’ current low fortunes. Kingston says an upheaval in the board room is urgently needed because the club problem stem in part from the board not living up to its founding charter.

Everyone has an opinion about the Cowboys current situation, but Kingston is entitled to have his opinion considered more than most. He was the man who first floated the idea that North Queensland should have a Winfield Cup (now NRL) team in a story in the Townsville Bulletin  back in 1989, called and chaired the first meeting, and worked on a voluntary basis to help get the team into the national competition.

To air his current concerns, Kingston wrote a closely worded and well reasoned letter outlining his view to the Townsville Bulletin. But the paper, so closely aligned with the vested interests of the club’s business operations, not only refused to publish his letter, but ignored a offer to take paid space in the paper to publish his concerns in the interest of the teams fans. You can read Doug’s stopry for the paper that has so spooked the Bulletin and Cowboys board chairman and former News executive Lewis Ramsay here.

So good luck, Doug, but you can bet that the board of The Cowboys Football Club share the Townsville Bulletin’s affliction of a deaf ear to constructive criticism and transparent conversation.

The Leagues Club Also Has A Unique View On Board Make-Up

Cowboys symbol

Over the years, The’Pie has been regaled with unhappy tales by disgruntled members that The Cowboys Leagues Club board, while not shrouded in membership secrecy, has always been the fiefdom of Laurence Lancini and News Ltd figureheads. Critics say the board make-up membership is far from democratic, it is more a manipulated tap-on-the-shoulder to ideological fellow travellers. They say election by club members is a manipulated joke, to the point that one outspoken candidate who polled more than four times the votes of a board-favoured rival was booted for ‘not being a suitable person for a position”. Not that the membership was much fussed, only a handful full of the hundreds of members even bothered to leave the pokies or the bar/buffet long enough to cast a ballot … just the way the hierarchy likes it.

Mayor Mullet tells It How It Isnt.

Ouch, that must have hurt.

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Apparently stinging from the shit and derision that has been piled on by social media – and this blog, which started the ball rolling – Mayor Mullet’s has taken to the Bulletin to try to lamely justify her $2million waste of council funds on a pocket handkerchief park and sun shelters on Castle Hill. An Astonisher reporter followed up the Magpie’s exposure (do you pay for news tips, you lot? ) of the criminal waste of funds and the long trail of fancy dancing around this vexed issue. He received a classic serve of full weasel words and a litany of lame excuses (COVID) and blameable incidents (monsoon – which was two long years ago). Things like this ‘The zip line plan was scrapped after the unprecedented monsoon of February 2019, combined with community concerns.’ The famous old catch-all ‘community concerns, eh ? Ah, yes … “Council also received expressions of concern from the Gurambilbarra Wulgurukaba peoples, the traditional owners of the area about the possible impact of the zip line on the cultural heritage of the Castle Hill.

This mob are worried about the cultural heritage of Castle Hill? Then how come they haven’t been loud and proud about the unforgivable graffiti of a stick figure saint scarring one of the most beautiful urban edifices in Australia, whose culture so concerns them? If just about every tourist who sees it are disgusted by a British linked and irrelevant piece of public vandalism, why aren’t the Gurambilbarra Wulgurukaba people. No money in it?

Then there was the mayor’s much ballyhooed café at the top. Here Jenny is at her evasive best, saying the plan was abandoned after the tenders failed to deliver on council’s vision. But hang on, don’t TCC tender documents outline the council’s ‘vision’ for any required project ? Clearly it was nothing to do with the tenderers, one of whom was willing to stump up $2million to snare the project. But, astoundingly, that was not enough, quoth the mayor, who displayed as much vision and fiscal nous as her beloved ‘bogans’, and opted instead for … wait for it, at what is about our city’s only a must see tourist spot … an occasional food truck. That’s about the speed of our motor mouth mayor, populist promises of a glorious and sure fire money spinner that end up landing us with with a fucking food truck. Nothing wrong with a food truck’s fare, it’s the mayor’s bullshit that sticks in the craw.

But Hey, Why Should The Magpie Bitch …

magpie contemplating navel copy

… at least he knows that, out of the entire staff who read it every week,  someone at the Bulletin is willing to follow up on the matters mentioned in this blog. They’ve also been forced to ask Prins ‘The Prince’ Ralston if The Magpie’s report that he is a FIFO CEO was true, to which the Prince replied that he’s ‘renting at the moment’,  but what the reporter didn’t say in that article is that he flies out every Thursday to his Brisbane home and back on Monday … an business-class arrangement that costs Townsville ratepayers a princely $100,000 a year.

The Astoniosher forced the council into providing a completely implausible reason why a couple of Magpie readers reported the council budget had an unusual and unexplained  amount of around $3million a year for rubbish remediation work at the Total Tools stadium (it was an accounting entry, folks, not real money they reckon … problem is that it was in their budget, you tossers.) Transparency and being seen through are two very different things.

It is heartening to know that The ‘Pie has such devoted followers at the paper that’s ‘All For You’.

PLEASE NOTE: The long promised list of Jenny Hill’s proposed projects that have bitten the dust remains a work in progress, so there is still time to jog The ‘Pie’s memory with suggestions for inclusion. Just send in your contribution, anonymously if desired, to comments – might not get posted there but will published in the final compilation in the blog when sufficiently complete.

EMMA’S Number Is Up – But They Always Have Been, Haven’t They?

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One of Rupert’s most cynical exercises … the creation of head counting organisation Enhanced Media Metrics Australia (EMMA) … is being ditched, and readership reporting will go back to the independent and reliable Roy Morgan crowd. She was a bastard child when born in the fevered Murdoch mind about a decade ago.

Rupert Murdoch 151887262_1635230083350993_7186558266946177395_o

The old pickled walnut was frustrated by the accurate numbers being supplied by the industry’s long serving and trusted head counter, the Roy Morgan people, and veiled threats didn’t work with them. So Rupert got together with Australia’s other big publishers and they decided to create their own outfit; thus EMMA was born.

Or maybe suffered some birth defects. The results were the stuff of fairyland, often hilarious, and The Magpie wasn’t the only one to question the weird and often impossible outcomes EMMA reported. Like the metric that said that every single paper printed by the Townsville Bulletin was read by eight different people, giving the Astonisher a truly astonishing readership over 80, 000,  mark never reached in the paper’s history,  all when in reality it was dropping like a stone down through the high thirties. This all led to a rich vein of scornful humour, here and in other sites that saw through the self-serving bullshit.

But the end has come, brought on by the one crowd capable of bullying the publisher bullies … the money men of the media buyers across the industry. Seems they, or more likely their clients, had had enough of being made fools of … and paying rates based on such shonky figures when the communications industry was going through such a traumatic transition. Their revolt and campaign resulted in this weeks announcement.

But It Was Bad Timing For One Tosser

The announcement was not in time to stop our local jester-in-chief, Astonisher iditor Craig Warhurst, indulging in some mind-bending nincompoopery at the start of the week. This from comments last Monday.

The Magpie 

April 19, 2021 at 10:41 am  (Edit)

And the Astonisher’s wrassle with ’rithmetic goes right to the top, it seems. In his iditorial,  Iditor Warhust has given us a perfect example of a ‘false syllogism’ … that is, taking iwo known facts and reaching a false conclusion (short version: 2+2=5). And in this case, it seems deliberate for a reason.

Bulletin circulation Screen Shot 2021-04-19 at 9.41.56 am

Here’s how this three card trick works: yes, 128,000 is about 72% of the paper’s circulation area, and yes, if you’re going to believe Rupert’s bastard child EMMA, 128,000 people read the paper every month. BUT THAT SO CONVENIENTLY IGNORES THE INDISPUTABLE TRUTH THAT ALMOST ALL THOSE READERS ARE THE SAME ONES WEEK ON WEEK. SO THAT MAKES IT AN ACTUAL MONTHLY READERSHIP OF 32,000.

But that doesn’t sound like a good thing to tell advertisers on the rate card, does it?

craig warhurst 5 MvpFUWNw

But our jester can’t help himself, with that last line about ‘rivals’. NEWSFLASH, Craig: YOU are the only newspaper in town, so what rivals? You’re surely not referring to the solid performing stable mate the Courier Mail, are you? Heaven forfend, man!! Touch paranoid?

Time For A Cutlery Count?

American literary giant Ralph Waldo Emerson’s most famous one liner was pithy and to the point:

“The louder he talked of his honour, the faster we counted our spoons.”

Old Emmo was on to something there – those that self-proclaim their virtue are often quietly dishonourable … and if they are also former politicians, they always are. This came to mind when this bobbed up.

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But perhaps your jaw dropped like The ‘Pie’s beak when you see that last line there …The latest decisions were gazetted for Kate Jones and Coralee O’Rourke on Friday, after their former colleague Anthony Lynham was added to the list in March.

Our own Coralee O’Rort, one of the most ineffectual ministers of the past few years, who did and achieved nothing of note for her electorate or Queensland, and was simply given a ministry for winning her seat, now in her retirement may fashion herself  ‘The Honourable Coralee O’Rourke’. And The Honourable Kate Jones? The ‘Pie would’ve bought The Kinda Once Scrumptious Kate Jones, but The Honourable? Nah.

They apparently don’t care this they’re fooling nobody. What next? Will Palaszczuk be seeking a peerage for Aaron Harper – a count, perhaps, which is just one letter off the truth. Les Memory Blank Walker will be in line for KCMG, but he will not be eligible for the British title, Knight Commander Grand Cross, but is fully qualified for the Australian version Knocked Cold Memory Gone.

You’ll recall the famous exchange on Yes Minister between Jim Hacker and his Private Secretary, Bernard about what various royal honours initialisms stand for.

Bernard: In the [civil] service, CMG stands for “Call Me God”. And KCMG for “Kindly Call Me God”.
Hacker: What does GCMG stand for?

Woolley (deadpan): “God Calls Me God”.

That’s the one PM Smirko is after.

Whoops!! Courier Lets The Olympic Cat Out of The Bag

It is undoubtedly the truth, but we are trusting that it was the Courier Mail who said it, and that the paper wasn’t quoting the Premier – otherwise, there will be political hell to pay. Note how the Courier – or the Premier – describes just who is making this Olympic bid in the second paragraph.

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The reasons we should hope that we don’t get the Olympic nod just keep on coming. This is verging on the disgusting, the pinnacle of craven political populism, given the parlous state of so many public sectors in Queensland. All of Queensland that is, Premier.

Proof That Les Walker Has Lost His Memory? Or That He Just Isnt Honourable?

From comments.

The Magpie

April 21, 2021 at 9:39 am  (Edit)

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Really the hypocrisy is breathtaking … when Walker was sworn in as an MP, he must have thought he was taking the Hypocrite’s Oath.

Now that he’s a state MP, this coward decides to urge the council to act on a purely political point scoring exercise, knowing he is in no danger of being called upon to lift a finger or – heaven forbid – answer a phone call, as he’s no longer a councillor.

And add an extra dollop of dishonesty because these businesses whose loss he bemoans from days of yore all migrated to the glitzy new Fairfield Waters Centre, which he voted for in council.

Nothing wrong with the Fairfield Waters development, that’s progress in the form of natural market forces, but why should an owner be penalised when tenants leave a property under these circumstances, a property that doesn’t look derelict, just empty – unlike a lot of places in the CBD, a sink hole for council funds which Walker assisted in wasting.

Here’s a question you certainly won’t answer Les: if the property to complain about was not owned by Peter Dutton’s wife, but, let’s say, Labor bagman Barry Taylor, would you have made the same demand for a petition and of council.

In a pig’s eye you would. As said, arch-hypocrite.

America Faces Up To Its Post Trump Challenges …

… and the world welcomes the USA back from the wilderness and wildness of the last four years of the Mobster Presidency of Trump. The murderer of George Floyd may have found guilty, but the mass murders continue, dampening the spirits which had started to life across the nation. Frustration was expressed in grim humour.

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The Magpie Is Constantly Wondering About Things … Including His Readers Who Make Comments.

In moments of fond speculation, The Magpie likes to think his readers share his goals of soaring intelligence, informed worldly wit and eloquent writing. Alas, both The ‘Pie and his readers aren’t within cooee of any of those targets, a fact brought home when this was the mild joke that attracted most comments during the week … but vyes, The ‘Pie did start it himself, s’pose.

The Magpie

April 23, 2021 at 1:03 pm  (Edit)

Ummm … Big frontages?

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Actually, typical click bait .. The New Daily’s answer is that both promote getting a covid jab.


  • Chester

April 23, 2021 at 3:58 pm  (Edit)

They both have aisles wide enough to park a trolley in between?


  • Achilles

April 23, 2021 at 4:16 pm  (Edit)



  • Wally

April 23, 2021 at 5:19 pm  (Edit)

They both have lots of silicone up there aisles?

So, with that response in mind, The ‘Pie decided he wouldn’t make another sly joke about  this pic that floated into the Nest ..

Girls beautiful Screen Shot 2021-04-23 at 6.56.05 pm Just so you know, they were talking about the gals charitable thoughts and pure, if chilly, lifestyle. I think.

And NO … this is just a screen shot, there is no slide show.

And Ya Gotta Love Those Guys From The Shovel


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Another week down the gurgler, and we start all over again. Keep up with comments – and have your say – they can be great fun and run 24/7. And as always, because the problem will always be there, a hand with costs of the blog would be greatly appreciated, the donate button is below.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. Mike Douglas says:

    Thanks to the sacrifice our defence force men and women made so Australia could be such a great and free Country . Lest we Forget . Another great blog Pie especially for getting answers to issues with Council the Astonisher won’t ask . Is Flinders lane on your list of projects ? Council buys a property using rate payers $ and does a deal with a developer ( I thought Belcarra precluded such deals ) which was paying rates so now the end result is empty development and no income . Nothing to see here Greg Hallam CEO of Local Government Association Queensland must have seen the writing on the wall as he departs with 24 Qld Councils at high risk of not being financially viable ( I bet T.C.C. Is at the top ) and 64 Councils with deteriorated ratios of sustainability .

  2. Alacan says:

    I wounder if the decision by TCC to not accept tenders for the Castle Hill Cafe was more about an extant caveat on use of the land that may possibly remain and perhaps was belatedly rediscovered through the assessment process. Not sure .. i am left woundering given below online article attributed to ABC news in 2008.

    Council land deal secures Castle Hill
    Posted Wed
    10 Sep
    2008 at 8:10am

    The top of Townsville’s Castle Hill will be spared from future development, with the Townsville City Council taking ownership of the old Panorama House restaurant and adjoining car park.
    The land has previously been earmarked for development as part of a cable car proposal, including a 32-unit complex.
    Mayor Les Tyrell says the council will exchange 9.5 hectares of land at Cluden for the two sites on the hill.
    “I think we’ve got a good deal the value of the land on Castle Hill is in excess of what the value is on the land in Cluden and we feel we’ve got a good deal out of that without having to shell out quite a substantial amount of cash,” he said.
    Posted 10 Sep

    • The Magpie says:

      If that being the case, why did they call for tenders then?

      • I’ll be plucked says:

        To give the TCC office folks a project and something to chew on, Pie?

      • Alacan says:

        Who’d know the answer to that Pie

        Logic would dictate that Request for Tender was not inadvertently called and that the decision to call was underpinned by a corporate memory of positions taken some 12 years ago and also approved land use of a parcel of land as it stands today

        The revolving door at many levels in TCC and indeed the seemingly illogical decisions made by the current council on many matters leaves a question mark in my mind as to the veracity of the process .. just saying

    • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

      Ahhh, one of the good old Col Harkness Toprise Development swaps. If you Google those four words and look in August 2014 you’ll find a Bullsheet article explaining why it was fine for TCC to swap land with donors who were essentially just doing it out of their civic duty and not turning a fast dollar.

      It was a scam than and it is a stain on our organisation now. This was one of the first occasions during my time in council that such an obvious fraud was swept under the carpet and it has set a bar so low you’d have to dig to find it.

      • The Magpie says:

        Send in the details and The ‘Pie will be happy to air it.

        • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

          I only have internet on my phone this weekend and can’t copy a link for some reason. I will do so at work on Tuesday.

          If however you wanted to look up Anthony Templeton story Land Buyers Also Donors from 5 August 2014 you will see the article.

        • Jatzcrackers says:

          Pretty sure Toprise is one Ming Kong !

      • The Magpie says:

        Ah, thanks to Polythene Pam, this os what we’re talking about.

        Townsville Bulletin
        Land Buyers Were Political Donors
        TOWNSVILLE First councillors did not declare a potential conflict of interest when voting to sell council-owned land to a company with two directors that donated to their campaign.

        ANTHONY TEMPLETON, Townsville Bulletin
        August 5, 2014 7:48am

        TOWNSVILLE First councillors did not declare a potential conflict of interest when voting to sell council-owned land to a company with two directors who had donated to their campaign.

        The five parcels of council land in Cluden were purchased by Toprise Australia for $660,000 in September 2012, which was deemed as market value by an independent valuation.

        The land was found to have little value to Townsville City Council because it would need to be developed in conjunction with adjoining properties or would “almost certainly be converted to a road”, according to council staff.

        Ministerial approval was granted to sell the land without going through a public tender process.

        The company which purchased the land has only two directors listed with the Australian Securities and Investments Commission, Col Harkness and Peter Duffy, with both donating to the Townsville First election campaign.

        There is no suggestion the company has done anything wrong during the land deal.

        Deputy Mayor Vern Veitch said he wasn’t aware of the management details of the company.

        “I know of Toprise but I didn’t know who the directors were,” he said. “You can’t have a conflict of interest if you are not aware of it.

        “I could spend my whole day looking for possible links of every person that donated. It’s getting ridiculous.”


        Watch every episode of Game of Thrones on BINGE Binge from only $10/mth

        Toprise director Col Harkness, a well-respected local developer, said there was nothing underhanded about the land deal.

        “Toprise owns some land in the State Development Area and there was some adjoining land owned by the council and the company decided to make an offer for it,” he said.

        “The council then, in due course, decided to accept the offer.

        “There was nothing underhanded about the price because it was similar to other sales in the area at the time.”

        The land is expected to be turned into a transport terminal in coming months.

        The council has stated its legal advice is councillors do not need to declare a conflict of interest if they do not know the relationship between companies and people or other firms that donated to their election campaign.

        However, NQ Legal principal solicitor and local government lawyer Stuart Watson said a future interpretation of the Local Government Act may not be so clear cut.

        “It really begs the question about what is a sufficient level of investigation required of councillors in order to discharge their duties – and how does that compare with legal obligations imposed on company directors?” he said.

        “Surely it is not a lower standard for councillors?”

        • Sir Rabbittborough says:

          The CTH has carriage of corporations law which means council , being a corporation is subject to The Corporations Act , securities laws and maybe even CTH Consumer Law. That means due diligence don’t it? Laws relating to identifying directors , insider trading etc I presume ? I wonder if is a statute of limitations on that stuff.

          • TheOtherGuy says:

            Local government councils are bodies corporate – not corporations. Section 11 of the LG Act. The Corporations Act does not apply.

  3. Dawn Service says:

    Why is it that politicians are unable to pronounce the word corps?

    In what was otherwise a fine Dawn Service at Riverway the deputy mayor starts talking about the Australian and New Zealand Army Corpse and while I grant you there were quite a few deaths at Anzac Cove, it’s not what the term ANZAC means.

    • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

      Freudian slip perhaps? Thinking of their own political parties.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Not surprising, old meathead Molachino as ignorant as ever, but as a former RAAF Officer this is more than ignorance, it is disrespectful and insulting as he would be fully aware of how it is pronounced and used, they would have drilled that into him during his time at Officer Training.

      • The Magpie says:

        Actually, go easy on the poor bloke … he is a regular reader of this blog and has subconsciously (very deeply subconsciously) picked up The ‘Pie’s frequent references to News Corpse. All my fault, sorry.

  4. Count de Zero says:

    The above moniker would be an appropriate accolade for Harpic and the other two retchless fools, Private Cupcake and Memory Blank. To be presented by head-zero, Nanna Anna.

  5. I’ll be plucked says:

    O’Rort The Honourable??! WTF! What will O’Toole be angling for, if Labor ever get back into federal office?

    The Right Honourable O’Toole? I thought she was a lefty? What about Princess O’Toole, Dame O’Toole? The Tool of The Ville?

    • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

      Perhaps we could mix and match like “Les You Tool Walker” or “ Aaron Rourte Harpic”

  6. Prince Rollmop says:

    Well, what a gift it is for the FIFO TCC Prince. At the earliest he gets into the office on a Monday at 9:00 – 10.:00 am, and then disappears Thursday afternoon. Not bad for a $500k salary excluding super, travel perks and the rest. For a CEO, that is pathetic. A CEO needs to live and breath their role 24/7 for that kind of remuneration, not work part-time. Townsville residents are being ripped off, and I blame the Mayor and e tire Council for approving this untenable situation and waste of ratepayer money. This bloke had better do wonders or else the Councillors have a shock coming at the next election.

    • The Magpie says:

      There are no wonders that coukld justify this out-and-out rip-off … engineered by our own home grown rip-off of a mayor.

      But hey, most of you voted for this.

      • Prince Rollmop says:

        Very true Magpie, the voters voted for Mullet and friends. However it would be remiss of those of us who didn’t vote for this despicable council to not raise these issues. At least we have a forum through you, to vent our disgust.

    • No More Dredging says:

      PrinceR, voters had nothing to do with the appointment of the CEO (as implied by some of the commenters). That is down to the councillors who, as you point out, at the very least, oversaw and approved the appointment. But do you really think that in three years time at the next local government election voters will be putting that particular matter front and centre when they come to select (or reselect) a divisional councillor? Or the Castle Hill monument for that matter, since the federal member saw fit to put up $2m for the project. More likely voters will be wondering if rates are going to rise or dump vouchers are going to come back.

      • The Magpie says:

        Agree with your realistic points, but disagree with the voters having nothing to do with the appointment of the CEO … they will have to share the responsibility for such inappropriate and irresponsible appointments as long as they vote for candidates who support power hungry, party political players like Jenny Hill (who says have a massive – probably the final – say in who gets the plum job of CEO.)

        • Critical says:

          Does anyone know who was on the interview/selection panel which interviewed shortlisted applicants and made the recommendation to council on who to appoint to the position of CEO.

          • The Magpie says:

            Why? There’s only one shot caller in Walker Street, and any appointment would need her tacit approval. But although impossible, it would be interesting to see who thought it was a good idea to give the job to a man with this history with the council. And why.

      • Prince Rollmop says:

        NMD you fool. I know the Councillors approve and sign off on the CEO. I’ve known that for the past 30 years. I didn’t say anywhere that the voters employ the CEO. But as the Pie said, the voters are responsible for voting in the stupid Councillors who then approve an idiot like Ralston as a FIFO CEO. And again, as the Lie said, the one person team of Team Hill calls the shots because her comrades are gutless turds.

  7. The toe cutter says:

    Seems like Scomo strikes again. The Department of Agriculture (AQUIS) has been restructured so it can cut costs which means there will be less frontline officers physically inspecting ships and seaports. Apparently the Department has been a mess since a new boss took over and did another restructure last year. There are serious concerns that this latest move will end up resulting in disease or pestilence easily entering Australia. Ironic considering there has been COVID ships off NSW and QLD in just the past week. And who could forget the Ruby Princess.

  8. Little Rupert says:

    Ahhh, 1989 Doug Kingston. I was a young chap and played tennis with him back then. He said my car was crap, a Ford Escort, he had a Mazda 626. He said because of my body shape I would be fat when I got older. Nice guy he was. He was wrong about the car, a Ford Escort is now worth as much if not more than a new car, and his old Mazda is probably a washing machine on its fifth recycling job. I did get a little fat but got that under control. He was however instrumental in pushing for a Townsville footy team and for that I am grateful. On a different note, does anyone know what kind of car he drives and what his current BMI is?

  9. NDPS - not the deep state says:

    With regards to the precarious position TCC finds itself in under the influence of a long serving bogan Mayor, the following is applicable;
    “A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves largesse from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most benefits from the public treasury with the result that a democracy always collapses over loose fiscal policy, always followed by a dictatorship. The average age of the world’s greatest civilizations has been 200 years. These nations have progressed through this sequence: From bondage to spiritual faith; From spiritual faith to great courage; From courage to liberty; From liberty to abundance; From abundance to selfishness; From selfishness to apathy; From apathy to dependence; From dependence back into bondage”
    Alexander Fraser Tytler

    Australia’s day of financial reckoning is coming.

    • The Magpie says:

      The ‘Pie has been to dinner parties with blokes like that. The old bird left before dessert.

    • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

      One day this fake quote is going to stop circulating around the internet, but not today I guess.

      • Boof says:

        I’m not an economic/political scientist/historian, but some of the ideas in this “quote” confirmed my own thoughts that “the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most benefits from the public treasury” [for themselves]; be that voter a worker or business owner. It was interesting to see that idea fleshed out into the sequence/cycle… so I searched a little further… and quickly found…
        https://www.hughescapital.com/democracy/ and
        So… not really a quote at all… but that doesn’t negate all of the ideas within it. How hard (or right) would it be to get people to vote for the common good (but according to whom) rather than self interest? Or is the common good (ie for the majority) actually achieved by everyone voting for their own self interest, the greedy majority therefore ruling, and minorities left to “eat cake”?

        • Guy says:

          The most important thing is VOTER ID

          No one should be voting unless they have voter ID, this ID should be a passport OR a driving licence / proof of age card.

          In the first council election I saw “Mr grey” enter three locations: kelso school, Rasmussen school, condon school in that order. By the third time I realised this wasn’t my imagination – up to that time I laboured undee the illusion that electoral fraud was a myth ( I spotted an entire family entering condon school to vote a second time).

          I returned to Rasmussen school and made mention to my two helpers about this curious situation; they both stopped turned around a.d roared with laughter and in unison said “we’ve been seeing the same people walk in all day!”

          After suffering the effects of fraudulent voting I suddenly realised the entire voting system could be co opted by bad actors so I tried explaining to the AEC and ECQ of my discovery that anonymous voters could and did vote multiple times to throw elections as there was no security. They couldn’t understand.

          I then shifted tack and sent hundreds of emails to every MP I could find explaining the dangers of an electoral system wide open to criminal activity – I got two emails back. Tanya pilbersek told me electoral fraud wasn’t a problem in two sentences – Phillip Ruddock sent me a lengthy email telling me electoral fraud was a massive problem.

          After analysing the situation I discovered that electoral fraud is conducted in ways

          1 : Obtain the electoral roll as a candidate ( a USB stick) and discovering who lived where.

          Someone intending to throw the election would see person A in kelso and so would use their name in the west end for example. Perhaps multiple times. After the election the AFP MIGHT become involved but have NO proof – the rolls are collected and checked for ticks AFTER the election.

          Names of old people in aged homes would be collected and then votes made in their name, I was speaking to one lady contacted by the AFP asking why her bed ridden mother had votes three times in an election.

          The walk ins : you take the name and address of a name on the roll and walk into multiple locations.

          An ongoing systemic and organised attack on the electoral system would be from within by politically aligned individuals who count the votes or are at a managerial level to make and create votes. A disparity might be seen where say a state controlled electoral body ( eg the ECQ) returns political party A , whereas a federal controlled electoral body ( eg the AEC) returns political party B. The disparity being that the same voters are strangely voting different parties into power – not following a trend.

          Criminal activity to throw an election is most likely to succeed where slim margins exist. in Herbert one election won by 38 votes, the next by a few hundred. 10 people voting in the 50 locations can manufacture enough votes to win. If you had a cadre of 20 committed party members you could ensure a sure fire win.

          Before you get all angry and pen some facetious comment, consider this : no one cares that electoral fraud is being committed to win elections sad but true. The sane person shrugs, packs up and chalks it up to life experience. It’s the reason we can’t get functional government – the voter doesn’t get to win. ( one council in Tasmania allows non citizens to vote in elections – guess which councillors mysteriously win elections). Electoral fraud in Australian elections is as natural as breathing air.

          • The Magpie says:

            A few colleagues with cameras and cars should provide what you haven’t so far … evidence.

          • Guy says:

            Oh I forgot , mail in fraud too, you have no idea who’s actually filling in and posting back.

            I’m the witness magpie, I saw it myself. Up to that point I regarded it as a myth

          • No More Dredging says:

            Guy, you claimed: “I spotted an entire family entering Condon school to vote a second time”. How do you know this family “voted” a second time? Did you ask one of the officials in the booth or have you just assumed that they all adopted some new false family name and bamboozled the electoral officers?

          • The Magpie says:

            But more to the point, what did you do about it? You saw a crime being committed and did nothing on the spot? As a candidate, you were putting yourself up as a person to uphold and defend our basic rights (in this case to fair elections) but fell at the first hurdle. If you are to be taken seriously in the first place.

  10. Alahazbin says:

    As for Prins flying business class to Brisbane every Thursday. The flight I was on in March, he was down the back of the plane with a well dressed female staffer. Still a gross waste of ratepayers money though.

  11. Little Rupert says:

    I read Doug Kingston’s letter. Well written. How can a Company like the Cowboys receive a (tax payer) funded government NAÏF Loan and yet not have to disclose its Directors to the Community? Of course, I already know the answer, but still ……..

  12. Doug Kingston says:

    Ahh Little Rupert, or is it Lewis.
    I have never in my life owned a Mazda 626. In fact, I have never owned a Mazda.
    For the past few years I have been driving a beat-up 2011 Ford Ghia which was left to my wife by her late father. A few months ago it broke down so I traded it in on a MG3 – you lnow, the cheap little runabouts that cost around $16,000. I call it my “motorised shopping trolly”. My grandkids love it. They call it the “yellow banana”.
    As for the body shaming, that is ridiculous. I ran the NQ branch Custom Credit Operation Tennis (CCOT) junior program in the old days and I can confidently say that if you asked any of the hundreds of kids that took part in that junior development program if I ever body shamed them, the answer would be “no way”.
    Maybe Little Rupert is getting confused with the fitness part of the CCOT program. For the first time in their tennis playing careers juniors where asked to get fit.
    Jacko, a good mate and a brilliant fitness trainer, put the kids through sometimes gruelling fitness excercises and the results were impressive. Kids who used to lose in straight sets started winning in three.
    Kids (now adults) from that program still pull me up in the street and reminisce about those good old days. One recently told me he still uses the CCOT fitness routine to keep in shape.
    Anyway, those who know me would be aware that I am not in a position to body shame anyone.
    Never have, never will.
    If you want to discredit me, Little Rupert, you’re going to have to come up with some genuine shit.

    • Little Rupert says:

      Thank you Mr Kingston. Not a discredit by any means, and I would genuinely be at a loss as to what I would stand to benefit by doing so. Maybe I do have my people mixed up and I put up my hand and apologise. My last recollection, seems incorrect (?), was a game of tennis playing for Willows which was still a club in those days, and we played at those little Courts at the back of the Gardens in North Ward near the primary school. Not correct? It would have been a Saturday fixture game and most likely A1 or A2 as I didn’t play Pennant until a couple years later. By the way, I didn’t feel body shamed, just shocked that someone predicted I would get fat! As I said, ‘whoever’ it was that said it was in fact correct. But not correct about the car !

  13. Andrews Knobb says:

    Robb is a disgrace. Another greedy bottom dwelling parasite. As the Pie said, he set up the Darwin deal with Shandong Landbridge just before leaving government to take a lucrative job with that company on $800k per year. He isn’t the first, nor will be the last politician to jump into bed with an industry participant who has directly benefited from the government minister. How these situations could be described as anything less than corruption is beyond me. But as we know, politicians are untouchable.

    • Alahazbin says:

      AK, You can put Christopher Pyne in that same group. Got a job with a ‘defence aligned’ company after leaving parliament.

      • Andrews Knobb says:

        Yes, I forgot that. And Julie Bishop when she quit politics. Palladium had profited more than $500 million from decisions made when Ms Bishop was foreign minister. So of course she worked for them a few weeks later. What a bunch or rorting grubs and they are allowed to get away with it.

      • Achilles says:

        This mob reminds me of the cryptic answer of Mick Jagger when the Stones were on the rise. He was asked how a group like them could be so successful, he answered “I go to bed with the right people”.

    • Guy says:

      Bob Menzies was trying to ship iron ore to Japan till the stroke of midnight.

      There’s a very good chance that Australian iron went on to kill thousands of Australian troops ; its the danger of feeding an enemy already known to be aggressive and committing crimes against humanity in south East Asia before ww2.

  14. Critical says:

    A sad reflection on how certain groups of people are inflicting their beliefs on the Australian community. Our young people live in a stressful world already but certainly don’t need the do-gooders and bleeding heart society imposing their crap on the community like this.


    • TheOtherGuy says:

      What makes it a million times worse was that the racist, christophobic misandrist was from local government – Kingston City Council. Why is local government getting involved in schools anyway – that is the state’s role? Why does the word feminazi spring to mind?

  15. The Magpie says:

    The Magpie doesn’t much fuss about the Academy Awards – they sold out long ago in so many ways – but there are two things The ‘Pie does like this annual glitterfest.
    1. They sometimes refuse to bow to the woke crowd and get it right. Frances McDormand in Nomadland takes out Best Actress and the pic gets Best Film. Always been fascinated by McDormand (married to one of the Coen brothers) and this win shows the value and honesty of a talented woman growing old with dignity, charm and effortless screen presence, all the while displaying that indefinable physical allure of keen intelligence.
    Anthony Hopkins won Best Actor for The Father … haven’t seen it yet and probably won’t … sounds like a big downer for someone as old as The ‘Pie. But he won over the woke attempt to award the Oscar for someone named Boseman who died after filming.

    2. They still use correct and established English and call them ‘actors’ and ‘actresses’.

    • Achilles says:

      Isn’t the correct feminine pronoun of actor, actrix?

    • The Magpie says:

      Who’s a naughty little racist, then … The Guardian, maybe? Could it also include the rest of the sheeple media which doesn’t really think about what they are writing (and the first person to say ‘it’s for the greater good’ gets shot on the spot)? Read the following and see if you can find a problem of unstated bias.

      First question is – is white not a colour? Apparently not in the lexicon of the racial divisions (dare we mention the word segregation?) mandated by our woke media. One wonders how this Asian … no, sorry, sorry, – at least I think I am, advice please – let’s refine that a bit more – how this Chinese woman feels about being referred to in the grossly negative term ‘of colour’ which, put in another but equally insulting way, means ‘not white’, as though that’s some vague and rubbery yardstick to surpass. But what is exactly is that? Is she not the first Chinese woman to – or just the first Chinese person, wokers – to win this award? Why non-white?

      Does Chloe Zhao feel chuffed that she’s ‘non-white’ but apparently not Chinese, just ‘of colour’?

      And these fucking people lecture the world on racism, while blatantly exacerbating the situation with divisive categorisation they deplore so deeply by giving it a currency it does not deserve or benefit from.

      • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

        Of course the broadest category – “woman of colour” – is a more remarkable and newsworthy achievement than “Chinese woman”, and you should know this as it’s a very common formulation.

        • The Magpie says:

          That is the opinion of someone who isn’t Chinese.

          And far more interesting would be the ethnic make-up of the folk who decide what is newsworthy.

          • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

            You do accidentally make a minor point here – while the broadest category is objectively more newsworthy, it’s topped by the local angle, so if the Guardian had a Chinese edition they might run with “Chinese woman”.

          • Cantankerous but happy says:

            Tiger Woods said many years ago that to refer to him only as a black person was disrespectful to his mother and their heritage. I can tell you that Asians do not ever refer to themselves as being people of colour, they are Asians, my in laws who are Chinese would be horrified if anyone called them people of colour. In my experience Asians are actually very intolerant of the black community, and speak about them in a very disparaging manner, both here and the USA.

      • Achilles says:

        It’s a bloody paradox, they always bleat about discrimination and then come up with identifiers that separate them. African American is the worst, but now we have people of colour which means fuck all.

        I wonder how American native Indians identity as opposed to Asian American Indians?

        You’re either American or your not, its self imposed discrimination.

        • The Magpie says:

          And one wonders what our indigenous folk would feel if they were described as ‘Australians of colour’? And then we get around to this woke blurry area of whether the Spanish, Portuguese, Italians and Greeks are ‘of colour’ or classed as white by this nameless moral hierarchy … the English, Germans, French and Scandinavians certainly don’t think that these Mediterranean folk are ‘white’, (but dismissively don’t care anyway), while the Spanish et al certainly don’t think of themselves as ‘of colour’, and you’re looking for a shiv in the ribs if you call any of them ‘black’.

          The Magpie verdict: ‘It’s all a bit beyond the pale’.

  16. Russell says:

    Pie, are you saying Guy’s personal observations do not constitute evidence?

    • The Magpie says:

      Guy’s personal observations do indeed provide evidence … but not of what he says. More an RUOK query.

  17. No More Dredging says:

    Hey, ‘Pie, this one runs rings around the stadium deal. Just found this in the Sydney Morning Herald:

    “Prime Minister Scott Morrison has guaranteed the federal government will cover half the costs for the 2032 Olympics, should frontrunner Brisbane be confirmed as the Games host.

    The pledge was contained in a letter from Mr Morrison to Queensland Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk, which arrived with the Premier late on Monday afternoon.”

    Perhaps the Queensland Treasurer should run this one back past the Feds to see how it might be treated when divvying up the GST allocation.

    • The Magpie says:

      Very good point, Dredger. But what The ‘Pie liked about Smirko’s qualified support was that it was a conditional on a fully independent body be created to oversee all infrastructure contracts, work, timelines etc … the whole shebang – and a body will obviously have some oversight on to ensure ‘independence’. Love him or be like everyone else, you’ve got to hand it to him on this … wonderful way to to throw a lovely floating turd into the Queensland George Street trough. Can hardly wait for Anna’s answer.

      • No More Dredging says:

        “Fully independent body” and Smirko in the same sentence. Love your work, ‘Pie. The members of the ‘body’, which will no doubt be formed up shortly, will have snorkels in the trough and deep roots in state and federal Liberal Party ranks. It will be a five-ringed Olympic circus. I notice our can’t-lose premier is already high-fiving herself.

    • Guy says:

      What’s Important is not taking any further to pay for Olympics we neither need, want or can afford.

      The Olympics creates debt.

      At the least worst take the Olympics money and use it to lay a concrete base on major highways and bridges over every water course. The Olympics takes billions to fund and months after most of the stuff is mothballed; at least the billions spent on most infrastructure is still functional 20 years after.

      If you wanted to go really crazy you could build dams and build a direct pipeline or aqueduct from burdekin Falls dam to Townsville that could be used to irrigate all the land between to create jobs and prosperity for 100 years or more instead of a political cocaine blast lasting two weeks.

      • Kenny Kennett says:

        You are such a bore Guy. Where is your sense of excitement. Also tell us all what Govt projects ever make money for the non-swillers?

      • Westie says:

        Gee Guy, I thought you would be the sporty guy.

        You know fuck all about engineering or finance. Or electoral systems.

        Synchronised swimming- that would be your go.

  18. Cappuccino in hand says:

    Forget all the other shit going on this week. The only news worth celebrating is in sport ….

    And then there is Ash Barty ….

    And what about those Sea Eagles! ….

    It just gets better and better!

  19. NQ Gal says:

    Another great ad for why you don’t want to be a tourist in Townsville – 3 flights have arrived and there are no taxis.

    • Mike Douglas says:

      NQ Gal , same thing two weeks ago with only two flights and no Taxis . Even with airport shuttles they can’t handle the amount of arrivals . Mayor Hill a year ago said Townsville public transport was inadequate . First impressions matter . 3 local members m.i.a. again as public transport is a State matter .

      • NQ Gal says:

        I do have to commend the airport staff – three of them constantly ringing for more taxis. I overheard one of them say that it has been an enormous issue since Townsville Taxis became 13cabs and the call centre was moved to Victoria.

        The patrons were also pretty good about it – quite a few called out where they were heading, so others going the same way could share.

        As for Uber – they must have been on strike last night as well – absolutely none available.

  20. Lucifer says:

    Watch out Magpie, is the Pentecostal PM taking aim at you? Is the Magpie ‘doing the devil’s work’? Tin ears Morrison has seriously lost the plot. He even admits to placing his hands on unsuspecting people and trying to heal them covertly!! Absolute lunacy and something Pete Newey would surely embrace.


    • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

      This is hardly “social” media – if anything “anti-social media” so it should be fine at Hillsong.

      For what it’s worth, here is the Hillsong Church social media page ( https://www.facebook.com/hillsongchurch/ ) I see that there are almost 2 million blasphemers there.

      • Lucifer says:

        Personally, I hope Scomo visits Townsville and places his hands on our TCC leaders and prays for them to facilitate the introduction of a sound and robust economic environment from which ratepayers and the long suffering loyal locals will finally reap some benefit. But I’m not holding my breath. Perhaps some water transfer pipes that actually work would also be nice. Otherwise why doesn’t Prince Ralston hit a rock like Moses did, and produce clean, fresh, spring water? It couldn’t hurt to try. Unfortunately we don’t have enough fresh water for him to turn it into wine. Maybe next time.

        And finally, at least Hillsong’s bosses and pastors are living nicely in $6m mansions around Australia. The Lord has been very kind to them (having a tax exempt status and being shysters also helps). Perhaps they will book out Total Fools stadium and hold a singalong up here?

        • The Magpie says:

          Christ, don’t say that, that’s really tempting the devil … oh, hang on a sec … ummm yeah, scrub that.

          • Molly 9 says:

            Watched a doco on Brian Houston many years ago on his ‘church’ etc. His father was a pastor of one those mini offshoots of some religion and had a little group of a couple of dozen members. Young Brian got ‘the word’ and scooted off to the home of most this claptrappery, USA, and got the info on how to run the show and how all the rewards were totally justified – no doubt somewhere in the Bible, some verse can be found, and the rest is history.
            Con merchant extraordinaire. By the way, the thought of ScoMo giving hugs and giving ‘hands on healing’ just gives me the creeps.

        • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

          Perhaps a “sin-along” might work here?

  21. One legged tap dancer says:

    No surprise there are no taxis at the airport NQ Gal.
    I’ve heard that taxi drivers are going slow at the airport in protest over the dramatic fall in the value of their licences since the introduction of Uber and other similar cut-price operators.
    Looks like the tactic is working.

    • Toot toot says:

      The taxi service out of the airport has been crap for 20 years. Nothing has changed. Hillbillies operating a hillbilly service.

    • TheOtherGuy says:

      So their protest is to force people to use the very service they are protesting against? That makes perfect sense for Townsville. But in keeping with what Toot Toot says, how would anyone know the difference between their protest and their normal non-existent service? They were failing to be at the airport long before Uber arrived.

      • The Magpie says:

        Hey, let’s not forget the inexcusable gouging by Queensland Airport, which charges a fee for all taxi pick-ups at the airport. Wouldn’t it make more sense for the smooth flow-through of passengers that QAL pay the taxis a pick-up fee? Yeah, i know, pink pigs lined up at the of runway 2 ready for take-off.

        BTW does anyone know if they have found a way to gouge Uber at the airport? Can';t see how they could legally do that, or at least police it?

        • Cantankerous but happy says:

          The airport dont want taxis to run efficiently out of the place, they make $35 a day from each car from car parking, double what they make per passenger levy, but the question I have is where are all the Uber’s then, why are people standing in line for a taxi and whingeing about it.

          • No More Dredging says:

            Maybe the taxis are all up at Castle Hill lounging around in the shed, slurping coffee from the mobile cafe and showing the finger to the punters down at the airport.

          • No More Dredging says:

            Actually, surely there’s one taxi or Uber operator in Townsville who reads the Magpie’s Nest? What’s happening people?

          • NQ Gal says:

            I tried getting hold of an Uber several times during the hour long wait – no services were available!

          • Kenny Kennett says:

            Think about it; taxi or Uber driving is one of the most dangerous jobs in Townsville. Who would want to do it? If the crazy Townsville drivers don’t get you, the govt protected snots will bash you and steal your daily takings. No thanks.

          • The Magpie says:

            You should work for a newspaper. Maybe you do.

    • Cappuccino in hand says:

      Pre-book parking $51 for three days. Usually cheaper and much more convenient than lining up at the rank or trying to find a non-existent Uber.

  22. Little Rupert says:

    Taxis and Uber are no longer needed in Townsville. Everyone now takes an orange or purple scooter when they need transport.

  23. Frequent flyer says:

    I had a call from a mate last night asking if I would drive him to the airport this morning to catch an early flight. He said if you book a taxi in advance they often don’t turn up, and with Uber you book a car then find out it won’t be arriving for up to 45 minutes because of high demand. So if you have to catch a flight you can’t rely on either anymore. I was happy to help him out and he said next time he would probably drive his car to the airport and leave it in the long term park.
    Townsville Airport must be making a fortune from parking fees. If this keeps up they might even be able to fund their own improvements, instead of hitting up passengers and taxpayers.

    • A friend in need says:

      Fuck the airport and its fees and fuck the unreliable Townsville taxi service and Uber weirdo’s. Slip a relative or family friend $10 or $20 for a drop off to the airport and then a pick up when you return. Door to door service. Then do the same for them when they fly. Hit the money gouging airport and taxi service in the hip pocket.

      • The Magpie says:

        That’s exactly what The Magpie did in his travelling days. That’s when he had somewhere to go … and when he had friends.

        • A friend in need says:

          We are all (mostly) your friends Magpie. RUOK? With all these lockdowns and not being able to holiday and spend as freely, think of all the extra money you are saving that you will pass on to the kids and grandkids when you kick the bucket! That’s my philosophy. Cheer up buttercup.

          • The Magpie says:

            The Magpie subscribes to Jean-Paul Satre’s conclusion that ‘Hell is other people’ but on in the sense that he meant “you are, in some sense, forever trapped within them, subject to their apprehension of you.” Of course, if that is a problem, don’t start a blog like The Nest. The old bird is well and happy in his delusions.

            But you are a little delusional when you mention ‘spending freely’ to a pensioner, when by necessity, Spam is an acquired taste. Beats Pal any day … just.

          • The Magpie says:

            You may have mistaken that ‘Pie post as him being down in the dumps. Couldn’t do this stuff day in and day out if he was, the only thing he finds depressing is people with a humour bypass, who don’t know when he’s trying to funny.

  24. Robbin says:

    Not once but twice has a booked taxi not turned up for a flight which connected later in the day to go overseas..
    So now if I have an early flight which I really must catch, I rent a car, pick it up late afternoon and its in my driveway ready to go at 5am. About $60 for peace of mind.

  25. Elusive Butterfly says:

    Mr. Pie, verification that the Bulletin reporting is all “cl-ass!”

    “A Townsville woman got the call of a lifetime while on the toilet this morning, finding out her family had nearly won $5 million in the lotto.”

  26. Too Quick by Bloody Half says:

    Last night there was a couple of incidents near the Hermit Park Pub loud enough to be heard by half of the suburb at around 11.30pm and 2am.

    A hoon roared out of the flats, of which the clientele shouldn’t have owned such an expensive vehicle, and did doughnuts, went back in came out and did it again then sped off. He came back around 2 am and repeated it. There’s cameras at the pub , Halls and the United. The security guard saw it all. Monday night too.

    This little pantomine was organised to lure people out. It was dangerous and witnessed . The trap failed. Where the media cant be trusted and parties work together , you have to be careful.

    Here you are lucky to see a street sweeper once a year. It came and wiped the tyre marks off about 9.30 AM .

    If the local councillor who is not allowed to direct staff or contractors had anything to do with it , of if the labor CEO had anything to do with it before cops had a look, its too quick by bloody half .

    Smell it a mile off.

    • The Magpie says:

      Well, OK, but not what you’re getting at.

    • No More Dredging says:

      Wot, so the CEO who’s never here cuts a deal with a street sweeper who’s here once a year, to cover the tracks of a hoon who’s here twice on a Monday but never again? Is this a plot?

      • Tinfoiler says:

        Definitely a Pete Newey type of conspiracy with a touch of Postman Pat Coleman thrown in?

        • The Magpie says:

          Didn’t really want to enter into this weirdness, but a serious question occurs: can a street sweeper acttually erase tyre marks? Around The Nest area, their bi-annual visits hardly make a dent on leaves.

  27. Strand Ghost says:

    I booked a cab yesterday for 10am to go to airport and he was there spot on time and a nice chap too, but you all have me worried how I’m gunna get home next Tuesday? When I return

  28. Gunny Sergeant Highway says:

    I have no issue with the majority of Cabbies, good people trying to eek out an existence in a shit town. Uber is a different story. I know of some ‘not nice people’ who have managed to get around a few laws so they can do their driving.

  29. Not the AEC' says:

    The Herbert AEC, (electoral commission) boss’s job is up for grabs on seek


    I wonder if they will do better than Newmans pick for the Qld ECQ and wasnt that a doosy??

    Its gonna be a political appointment obviously

  30. The Magpie says:

    Honestly, what’s up with this fucking paper? A child dies (or is about to) after an ‘accident with a toy he bought at a theme park.’ Yet nowhere does The Courier Mail mention exactly what happened and how the child suffered a fatal result.

    This is not a matter of wanting ghoulish details, just possibly life saving information for other parents … any decent paper would realise their duty of public service and widely publicise the offending toy and the danger it poses. Cannot understand why this hasn’t been detailed. Reading between the lines – where most of the truth is hidden in Murdoch papers … it may have been that the boy swallowed something and choked on it (they gave him CPR).

    Surely an alert from major newspaper would be a given.

    • The Magpie says:

      UPDATE: Apparently the police aren’t releasing any details of what happened but have taken the toy away for examination. Of course, in a moment of rare humanity, reporters refrained from pressing the family for details (unusual for News Corpse).

      At least now the toy has been identified as a small penguin on a stiff leash, and was bought at Sea World. So finally some warning has been given.

      • Achilles says:

        The incident was reported in The Australian with a bit more detail of the offending component of the toy, “ … it had a long lead that was made stiff with a pole but the pole came out.

        “It broke and turned into basically a long rope with a loop on the end. In a very short amount of time Deklan became entangled.

  31. The Magpie says:

    This is long but a vital read for we in Townsville … finally, a magistrate with some guts and not afraid to expose his arse to a political kicking. Most appropriate on the very day this busted arse government makes mealy mouthed and just plain wrong excuses denying us a police chopper.
    PLEASE NOTE: The Magpie does not generally reproduce paywalled news stories in their entirety, but this issue is vital to Townsville’s crime plight it is published in full.

    EXPOSED: Record wiped clean as child thugs turn 18
    A frustrated magistrate has turned whistleblower, revealing courts are being forced to turn a blind eye to extensive criminal histories of serial juvenile offenders once they turn 18.
    Brendan O’Malley and Danielle Buckley
    April 30, 2021 – 5:33AM

    Former Queensland LNP police minister Dan Purdie says it cannot be forgotten that the youth crime epidemic in the state was caused by the “soft on crime regime” of the Palaszczuk government.

    A frustrated magistrate has blown the whistle on laws that force courts to turn a blind eye to the extensive criminal histories of serial juvenile offenders once they turn 18.

    Magistrate Stuart Shearer made the comments when sentencing an 18-year-old – who was this week convicted on a string of offences including burglary – but complained that he was forced to pretend the man had no prior convictions when in fact he had 15 juvenile probation orders.
    Mr Shearer blasted the barrister and police prosecutor who had asked for what he considered to be a lenient sentence of just 12 months’ imprisonment.

    Under Queensland’s Youth Justice Act, once a juvenile offender reaches the age of 18 their slate is wiped clean if no convictions are recorded.
    The magistrate’s frustration was echoed by Queensland Homicide Victims’ Support Group chief executive Brett Thompson who questioned what message the laws were sending.
    “Simply wiping the slate clean and pretending it didn’t happen doesn’t help anybody,” Mr Thompson said.
    The criminal history of the 18-year-old offender
    Before he was 18: 15 juvenile probation orders
    Since turning 18:
    ● Burglary
    ● Unlawful entry
    ● Stealing
    ● Failure to appear
    ● Unlawful use of a vehicle
    ● Unlicensed driving
    ● Breach of a community service order

    Attorney-General Shannon Fentiman said she was open to reviewing the laws.
    Decrying the legislation, Mr Shearer said the accused – who The Courier-Mail is legally prevented from naming despite being aged over 18 and appearing in open court – had “every rehabilitation order the state of Queensland can provide’’.
    The man faced a string of offences on top of his burglary charges including unlawful entry, stealing, failure to appear, unlawful use of a vehicle, unlicensed driving and breaching a community service order.
    “I have struggled to identify a point in time when it (burglary) was downgraded in seriousness (yet) the District Court seems to feel probation is fine,” he said.
    “He’s had 15 probation orders, but when he turns 18 it is back to square one.
    “Part of the stupidity of current rules is the community is placed at risk because the court can’t take account of that.”
    Ms Fentiman said an adult offender’s juvenile history was only invisible when no conviction was recorded.
    “There are reasons why juveniles are treated differently in the system,” she said.
    “But we’re happy to look at anything that keeps the community safe but also is aimed at intervening earlier, particularly with young people, so we can get them the help they need to turn their lives around.”

    The issue has been raised as Queensland grapples with a youth crime crisis and debate over electronic monitoring and appropriate bail laws while Attorneys-General around the country consider raising the criminal age from 10 to 14.
    “We’ve got individuals saying we can cut loose until we’re 17 years and 364 days old, until then I’m going to make the most of it … so what’s the message that we’re sending society?” Mr Thompson said. “If anything, it shows victims of crime that in fact their point of view is not as loud as the point of view of the perpetrator.”
    Former child protection officer and LNP member for Ninderry Dan Purdie, who last week slammed the reforms to the Youth Justice laws as “window dressing”, said he was not surprised by the magistrate’s frustrations.
    “You don’t want kids who make a mistake having that hanging over their head for life,” he said. “But we need to give the courts the option to be getting the whole picture so they can make decisions in the best interest of the community and to better protect victims.”
    Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk has announced seven new measures which will be implemented by the Queensland government as part of a crackdown on youth crime in response to community pressure to overhaul the youth justice system.
    However, while the courts are able to see convictions recorded against juveniles, top criminal lawyer Bill Potts explained that the majority of convictions go unrecorded.
    “Because the kid is now 18 he effectively restarts the clock,” Mr Potts said. “Because, as children, invariably convictions are not recorded or can’t be taken into account in the sentencing process.
    “The reason for that generally is that children have unformed minds, they may understand the nature of criminality but may not be able to understand the consequences of that.”
    Mr Potts said offences committed by children were often a symptom of poverty, mental illness, and a lack of support.
    “The difficulty is why Magistrate Shearer may be reflecting his own frustration – and perhaps that of the community – the use of this type of language does little to further the debate or the interests of justice,” Mr Potts said.

    • No More Dredging says:

      ‘Pie, one thing I don’t fully comprehend here: the part of the legislation where the juvenile’s slate is “wiped clean” – is that a result of the newly minted Palaszczuk legislation? If so, what did the previous legislation do about juvenile criminal records?

      • The Magpie says:

        No, to The ‘Pie imperfect knowledge, it has always been thus. But it is an understanding that fatally ignores that in this modern communications era, ‘children’ stop being ‘children’ anything up 6 years before 18. They are gaming the system and fucking up society big time. Also gives all the smart arse Fagins of this world heaps of fodder because the laws are so weak.

      • Sir Rabbittborough says:

        This act deals with “spent convictions”

      • Sir Rabbittborough says:

        S6 of the Penalties and sentencing Act , and s132-146 of the Youth Justice Act for when a person is treated as a child or adult https://www.legislation.qld.gov.au/browse/inforce

        Use the alphabetical listing

        Subordinate below that is the regulations made under the acts that give them power.

        Read the Acts Interpretation Act Qld and the federal one at http://www.legislation.gov.au

        There you will also find the CTH Crimes Act 1914 and CTH Criminal Code which deals with any federal charges .

        • The Magpie says:

          OK, but what’s your point? Does it address The ‘Pie’s point that change is necessary, because of the accelerated but faulty rise to adulthood of teenagers who now openly game the system?

          • Sir Rabbittborough says:

            And they shouldn’t follow the twice unelected Viscount Jim Molom of Faluja on gaming the system ???

  32. The Wulguru Wonder says:

    Good on Fran and Sue for raising the issue….but what a load of absolute BS from the Astonisher:

    “The new plan had received enthusiastic backing from the community”

    So raising valid questions is “derailing”? And where is the evidence of this supposed enthusiastic backing for a new corporate plan?

    Confirmation that the Astonisher is nothing more than a TCC/Jenny Hill propaganda mouthpiece and they are following the Goebbels propaganda theory of telling outright lies often enough until they become a truth.

    • The Magpie says:

      Those gals had better watch their step … if you get in Jenny’s way, she will, in her own words, ‘cut them.’

    • Lord Howard Hertz says:

      I openly challenge the Townsville Bulletin for any proof … just a shred of evidence … this new corporate plan has received the ‘enthusiastic’ backing of the community. C’mon, admit it, you either just made this up, or wrote what you were told. Not saying it wasn’t (but enthusiastic sound. bit overcooked) but where did this information come from? The mayor’s office?

      And Molachino keeps rabbiting on about decisions being made after community consultation … anybody out there been asked by the council what they think about something, beyond a restrictive box ticking un-policed on-line questionnaire of multiple choices? I know I haven’t – ever – and no one in my wide social network has either.

      • Little Rupert says:

        The TCC does not consult with the wider community at the best of times. There is no way there was ‘enthusiastic backing’ by the community. Best guess is, the ‘enthusiastic backing’ would have been by four or five wealthy individuals, TEL, ex Labour fools in cushy executive jobs, pretend CEO’s and a handful of wannabes trying to position for handouts. Question : is the Impailer making a return to TCC? I overheard a conversation but I’m not sure I heard correctly.

        • The Magpie says:

          Last week, a council officer told The ‘Pie that the Corporate Plan was not available at that time, because it was ‘under consultation through ‘Have Your Say’. Seems they did that consultation and made decision lickety split … see the council can dop some things quickly, just as long as it has nothing to with potholes or water leaks.

        • Prince Rollmop says:

          Would they be stupid enough to bring back the Impaler? I haven’t heard any ‘corridor whispers’ along that theme. His Highness Prince Ralston will shortly announce some restructuring and that comes almost off the back of the cutbacks he has previously been involved in as a consultant, and of course the work the Impaler contributed to with her giant cutters. So I don’t see any benefit to Townsville to bring back the Impaler. Besides, if the Councillors want to keep their seat at the trough bringing back Adele would see their asses voted out come next election. Maybe TCC will hire that weirdo bloke that got punted from QLD Health, the one that dressed like a woman with bullshit LinkedIn qualifications??

          • The Magpie says:

            Don’t fuss yourself, Little Rupert was just having a little pull-a-thon. She and The Mullet fell out very badly, so unlikely kiss and make-up is on the cards.

          • Little Rupert says:

            I’m not so sure mullet and rollmop are besties Magpie.

        • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

          “Enthusiastic whacking-off” is perhaps more accurate, based on the goings on within the exec floor at Wanker Street.

    • Mundingbird says:


      ” enthusiastic backing from the community ”

      Typical Astonisher council arse sucking Bullshit !

      A lot of comments I read ripped it to pieces.

      They can’t even spray the roadside weeds FFS.

      • The Magpie says:

        The ‘Pie again asks the Bulletin on what evidence did they make the bald assertion that the community was ‘enthusiastic’. They are still just making things up when it comes to the council …. or worse, committing serial dereliction of duty by just parroting lightly rewritten media statements which go unquestioned. This week’s blog tonight will feature ‘The Sin of the Unasked Question.’

        On the other side of this coin, The ‘Pie couldn’t see any question put to O’Callaghan or Blom as to why they opposed the CP? Have I missed it?

        • I’ll be plucked says:

          Bald or bold Pie – just checking :)

          • The Magpie says:

            [attributive] not having any extra detail or explanation; plain or blunt: the bald statement ‘in the preceding paragraph requires amplification’.

    • Plannit Townsville says:

      The Corporate Plan was written by a couple of the fancy new council strategy people. It was provided to senior staff at the same time as it was provided to the community on the “Have Your Say”. So it was never consulted internally, which has been an historical practice around development of these plans. The plan received a howling down from senior staff who basically said it was a load of shit and that council was forgetting about the services they should be delivering.

  33. Critical says:

    Mullet must be upset today, 30 April and the last day of the official cyclone and monsoon season and no damaging infrastructure weather events in Townsville. That means no NDRRA assistance or grants for TCC to rort and do work that should have been budgeted for by TCC so that means, put up with your near third world roads and streets, water supply infrastructure, drainage, sewerage outflows and so on for a few more years good people of Townsville.

    • No More Dredging says:

      Have just been shown a TCC flyer doing the rounds on Maggie Island that seems to indicate a big water main upgrade along the main road between Nelly Bay and Arcadia. A months work including traffic stoppages etc. That will cost a pretty penny over there. Since it’s not disaster repairs it must be coming out of some Council budget.

      • The Magpie says:

        Well, honestly, why not? And it must have been in the budget, they don’t flick a coin down in Walker Street to work out the day’s work schedule.

      • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

        This one is actually a much needed upgrade to some dodgy old main. Suspect it will take well more than a month with the unstable and sodden subsoil, but hey what do I know? Smarter people than I with arts or law degrees have said it is so.

      • NQ Gal says:

        Hopefully they do a better job that the ongoing BS that has been happening along Ross River Road for the past 2 months.

  34. Prince Rollmop says:

    Team Hill want to adopt the new updated Ralston/Hill 8 page pile of shit 5 year plan because it is a commitment to do SFA for the next 4.5 years. And that’s because they are useless lazy incompetent twats who have no solutions to the issues they’ve been voted in to fix. A very cunning plan.
    The TCC Prince and the human Doona know that Townsville finances are in deep shit and they want to deflect and obsfucate for as long as possible, keep kicking the can further down the road so to speak.

    Fran and Sue, you’ve done well. You tried, and that’s all one can ask. But boy oh boy things are going to get very hot in the TCC kitchen if we already have two Councillors reading away from the bad decision making of the other morons. Watch your backs ladies, hell hath no fury like a Mullet haired Commodore driving bogan.

    • Occam's Razor says:

      Rollmop, you wouldn’t know fucking shit from clay you idiot. Done well my arse. Fran O’Callaghan has only one motivation for opposing the new Corporate Plan; it mentions Landsdowne, to which she is mortally opposed. Problem is she has a massive conflict of interest and will be obliged to step out of the room any time the topic comes up. Its clear from voting outcomes that most in Division 10 could give a flying fuck about Landsdowne going ahead or not anyway. As for Sue Blom trying!!! Look at the video footage of the meeting. When, as the seconder of the motion put forward she was given the opportunity to speak for it, she commenced her insipid ramble by stating “I have nothing prepared”. FFS, you’d think with prior knowledge as the seconder of the motion she’d have prepared a reasoned argument for her support. Blom is a dud. You poor, ignorant fools with your hatred of anything Hill placing your faith in these false idols with no fucking clue as to their bona fides. You have no credibility whatsoever.

      • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

        Wow, quite the tirade. you are right, how dare people oppose the might of the Muppet-Pric Junta? If only the ALP CouncilLors with all their staffvprovided support were as prepared to speak, but it falls to two lonely individuals with no training or support to stand up for the community.

        You are a cretin Razor, and a sad attempt by our cowardly mayor to shit on dissent.

        • Occam’s Razor says:

          Utter bollocks you mostly uncivil sycophant. I’ve absolutely no problem with constructive dissent from effective office holders. This is not constructive and I’ve clearly stated my reasons for holding that opinion. Cr O’Callaghan’s dissent is purely self serving. She will surely soon have to declare a conflict of interest. Cr Blom’s is because she felt compelled to support her fellow ‘Indpendent’. My reasoning for this is based on her pissweak ‘for’ comments. Look at the video, with an open mind if that it at all possible for you predictable fool and listen to speakers for and against. At least Cr O’Callaghan had prepared. Blom confirmed wha was already known to observers. She is a dud. Hence my comment on faith in false idols. Don’t forgot in Blom’s first tenure she presided over a 590% increase in the cities debt, some of it borrowed at more than 8-9%, a 40% rise in rates. I’ve always said, as a councillor she makes a great hairdresser.

          • The Magpie says:

            Couple of things … if Blom is a ‘dud’, it is unlikely, especially in a Hill administration, that she ‘presided’ over anything, with much of the debt ballooning because of Peter Beattie’s last finger to the electorate of hasty amalgamation, and then Hill’s financial incompetence in seeking self-glory. And, of course, O’Callaghan will argue, correctly or incorrectly, not just for herself but for her fellow affected constituents, if she feels they are adversely and unfairly affected. That why she ran for council, and you didn’t, because you are satisfied with the mayor and her aerobics class which presumably argue for your point of view. Which The ‘Pie shudders to think whatever that may be.

          • Occam’s Razor says:

            Magpie, no need to print this but feel free. The period being referred to was 2008-2012 when the genial but unprogressive Les Tyrell was mayor. With Hill as mayor, the TF rabble opposed everything she put forward, regardless of merit, shelved the Nous report on rationalising council which ,like it or not, was mandated (and left to Hill and the hatchet woman Ms Young to operationalise) to implement not to mention a raft of other shady shit that others have been left to pick up the pieces on. But I can only assume you think that TF team of incompetents did a sterling job which if true tells me only that your views count for fuck all on matters TCC

          • The Magpie says:

            1.Thank you for granting The ‘Pie permission to choose whether or not to publish your ravings.
            2.When Les Tyrell was mayor and TF were dominant, Jenny Hill voted AGAINST every single thing they put forward, to use your rubbery bullshit term ‘regardless of merit’. EVERY SINGLE MOTION OVER 4 YEARS.
            3. TF councillors clearly disagreed politically with many of Hill’s mayoral proposals, so they exercised their democratic right to oppose them. It is quite clear that you’ve got a problem with that system, which hints of ALP fretting.
            4. The ‘Pie is not up to speed with the initial commissioning of the unnecessarily callous Nous report, but there are plenty of folk out there who will thank TF for shelving what the TF councillors saw as a callous theory-driven Nous proposal and thus allowing them to retain their jobs for the following few years. One takes it you are an enthusiastic supporter of the Nous report. BTW TF thereby also spared TCC staff and us from the tender ministrations of the incompetent Adele Young.
            5. ‘Other shady shit’? Instances please, so that The ‘Pie can respond with all the shady shit your heroine has or has tried to inflict on us (Adan airstrip to your liking, one guesses.) And her recent little number of a direct outright lie to council about funding ton fix up the disgraceful Wulguru back yard shit issue.
            6. So The ‘Pie can only take it that you assume Jenny Hill and her aerobics arm councillors are doing a sterling job, which demonstrates to The ‘Pie and all Nest readers that your views count for fuck all on matters TCC.

            Take a look around you, cretin.

        • Plannit Townsville says:

          Occam, as someone who worked at TCC during the Mooney council, Tyrrell council and the Hill/Young regime and subsequent clusterfuck, let me tell you that you know fuck all of what you talk about.

          The current clusterfuck is most poorly run, most underhanded, incompetent and toxic council I have EVER encountered. Yes TF had issues. But they weren’t nearly as bad as the issues this lot of knobgobblers have. Les genuinely gave a shit about the city. Jenny genuinely gives a shit about herself. Even Mooney and his bunch of bully boys were better than this lot.

          Stop trying to defend the indefensible.

    • Little Rupert says:

      Has anyone seen mullet behind the wheel since the incident?

  35. Dave of Kelso says:

    So, a couple of aborigines are up in arms that ‘their’ slogan since the 1980s, “Always was, always will be” may be trademarked. So what. This is not original to indigenous Australians. It is a hangover from the Catholic church, which ran many a mission.

    In the early 1960s Children’s Catholic Catechism (and probably for hundreds of years before) there was the statement that God; Always was, Is, and Always will be.

    This would have been drummed into the children in Catholic missions, (and other unfortunate children anywhere) and that is where they got the slogan. They might like to acknowledge where they got the slogan.


    • The Magpie says:

      No way, no, mate. You can make your point, but without that sort derogatory terminology, which reflects more on you than anyone else. You can only call a spade a spade through direct opinion, not pejorative 1950s racist terms.

      • I’ll be plucked says:

        Has Kelso been at it again Pie? Time and again he shows himself to be a racist and when challenged either ignore it, or laughs it off on this blog.
        Kelso you need to STOP it, become more reasonable and inclusive. You can’t say that ALL Indigenous folks are the same and therefore hopeless as you continually suggest, just like you can’t say it about us middle class caucasians. STOP PLEASE.

  36. Mike Douglas says:

    Nice spend in the Astonisher today by Townsville Council with a full page of auctions of properties I can only assume are due to unpaid rates . Further on the Astonisher , I normally find Sharis column spelling out the issues in the community and not afraid to call out inaction enjoyable . Today’s column talking up the success of Crypto Currency , developed by Computer whiz kids , an online exchange , phone apps , alternative versions of original making transactions faster , cheaper to access and saying our superannuation funds are held in old school . Financial experts at least provide caution and mention the possible downsides of crypto currency .

    • Doug Kingston says:

      13 Auction notices from the council, which appear to be selling up properties to recover unpaid rates – but not a mention of this move in the paper. Cover-up, or just plain carelessness?

  37. Cross Eyed says:

    What’s wrong with men dressing up as women? Alexander Downer did it in his fishnets and he was rewarded with a plum diplomatic post, which apparently included a generous wardrobe allowance!

  38. The Wulguru Wonder says:

    It seems TCC is not the only place with a FIFO CEO.

    I’ve been reliably informed that Adele the Impaler had bought a place in West End and is fitting it out to move in to.

    Told my source that she said that as a single women she doesn’t feel safe living on Palm Island (can’t really blame her there), and that she is unhappy that she has put on weight because there is nothing to do there except sit around the house.

    • The Magpie says:

      West End, you say? There goes the neighbourhood.

    • The Magpie says:

      No big surprise there, The Impaler has always been a big FIFO fan.

      She is seen here with fellow Melburnian Juliana Tiong, whom she appointed as Townsville Council procurement Officer. Juliana took things to a new level, though, working out of her home office, in her house in …. Melbourne. rarely if ever set foot in Townsville after her appointment.

      Maybe Adele can do her Palm island job by phone, too, a move that would no doubt be welcomed by her staff on the island.

    • I’ll be plucked says:

      Sit around the house and count her money for doing not much at all. The Palm Island Council have an office in Garbutt, so that will be the next fit-out, after the West End unit I guess?

  39. NQ Gal says:

    Did the Magpie prompt another Bullsheet story? The hitherto mysterious board members of The Cowboys are on page 19.

    • The Magpie says:

      The Magpie is considering seeking Chief of Staff finders fees from the paper. But hey, just so long as the info gets out, no fuss.

  40. The Wulguru Wonder says:

    I read that the two Sky Whale monstrosities will be in Cairns in August/September as part of their national tour.

    I can’t decide if this is recognition of Cairns being the cultural and artistic centre of NQ, or a tacit acknowledgement that even the two Sky Whales pale in comparison to Townsville’s very own Purple Doona.

    • The Magpie says:

      Make good target practice if some good ol’ boys sashay on down from the hills behind Cairns.

    • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

      Proof we don’t need more droopy tits and flaccid phallissus around town – we have enough here already.

    • Critical says:

      These monstrosities were made as part of a recent cultural festival held in Canberra. Probably not coming to the cultural desert of Townsville because Mullet can’t afford them but then who knows, the 2021 NAFA Program hasn’t been released yet so we may have them floating in front of The Saint on Castle Hill as part of NAFA.

  41. The Magpie says:

    Morning Pie

    You’ve done it again.
    Your piece this week about my attempts to identify the Cowboys board members has drawn Lewis Ramsay out of the closet.
    A two-page spread identifying the board members, complete with head shots.
    Some observations:
    -Kerry Boustead resigned last year at the same time Lancini pulled the plug, but no mention of his departure in the media. Wonder why?
    -Apart from perhaps Peter Parr, there is not one board member with top level rugby league experience
    -Sandra Harding is on the recruitment and retention committee. Wonder what she could possibly bring to the table
    -Ramsay admits that the fact that details of the board members was not on the Cowboys official website was “a situation they should probably address”

    • The Magpie says:

      All your own dogged work, Doug, so good on YOU. That story a perfect example of what The Magpie’s Nest is all about … providing a platform for reader’s valid concerns or hopes for matters that affect our city, that are unlikely to make it into the highly compromised pages of the Bulletin.

      But it may surprise you when The ‘Pie says that he sees a small shifting of attitude at the Bulletin, although sadly not in competence, which iditor Warhurst should address (we’ll make you an editor yet, mate if you keep up the move toward responsible reporting, Craig). The ‘Pie puts this down almost solely to considerable impact Phillip Thompson is having on local matters, Rupert woulkd frown on putting the current stumblebums in Canberra off-side.

      Why, iditor Warhurst is even having a stab at po-faced humour aimed at the mayor … in his thoughts about the North Rail Yards during the week, if he offered this:

      Crumbs, next they’ll want to call it The Astonishing Magpie … which will be OK, if Shaggers Tagliabue and The ‘Pie can co-write a column called ShagPie … the old bird would be happy to sleep on that.

    • Occam’s Razor says:

      If this a letter from Doug Kingston I’d like to seek his thoughts on Parr, whom he mentions in the missive. It strikes me that regardless of his so-called pedigree, on his watch, the Cowboys have let far too many good players go to other clubs and recruitment of new talent is sadly lacking. And all in the name of rewarding a few club stalwarts with contracts and a sizeable pay packet past their use by date. Just wondering.

      • The Magpie says:

        And poor old Sandra harding, forced to impart her knowledge of footy folks marketing inclinations because she’s down to her last Dior.

  42. The Magpie says:

    Townsville Magpie
    NEWSFLASH – a real one.
    Early reports this hour that several people have jumped ship at Townsville Port and are claiming political asylum. One report says the ship’s crew may be COVID positive, and police are trying to round them up as of 10.30 tonight.#auspoI #COVIDEmergency
    Townsville Magpie
    Because of the usual satirical matters from The Magpie, must emphasise this is a genuine newsflash, no joke, which wouldn’t be funny anyway. Just been informed by a normally reliable source, who is quoting emergency service scanners.

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