Why this blog exists...

The Magpie

Sunday, January 10th, 2021   |   100 comments

Les Walker Cries Over His Kids In Parliament, But Won’t Cry Over The Victims Of His Crime-Ridden Community.

A disgraceful display of political petulance from Walker this week was a disgusting stand-out in a week where our all local state members should continue to hang their heads in shame … come to think of it, just like any week like the last 200.

Fear and loathing in Walker Street: can it really be as bad as toxic one whistleblower claims to The Magpie? But there’s only one thing that can be done to remedy the situation, and that is unlikely.

They never said that: Townsville Bulletin catches itself out, making up scare-the-pants-off-them quotes from civic leaders, and mis-reading the temperature of the town.

A lesson for Townsville from the most unlikely quarter: the British Museum.

…and now it’s indisputable – he’s a traitor … will Donald Trump be punished for his incitement of riot and violent overthrow? Could well be.

But first …

Newsflash For Our Local Layabout MPs: Like Covid, Our Kiddy Crims Don’t Choose Their Targets By Their Victims’ Politics.

A call for a bipartisan local ‘summit’ to seek ways to tackle the juvenile crime wave has been summarily dismissed by out local members on political grounds.

With the emergence of daylight car-jackings in Townsville suburbs, it is now evident this city is under siege by both violent criminals and incompetent and cowardly politicians. One has to ask is there really any difference between the two. There is grim truth in Bentley’s take on the situation.

SHOPPING flat small

But the biggest kick in the guts was the performance of new member for Mundingburra, Les Walker, who, in typical state Labor style, airily dismissed an approach by Federal member for Herbert Phillip Thompson, who sought a round-table meeting of local pollies to examine the deteriorating situation.  Social media lit up with outrage, and even the Astonisher had some angry feedback from readers when Walker showed his callous disregard for both his electorate and for the truth when Thompson sought a meeting about local crime. This from a very pissed off Magpie on Wednesday.

The Magpie 

January 6, 2021 at 11:26 am  (Edit)

Well, you voted for him.

He cries over his kids in Parliament, but won’t cry over his crime-ridden community.

Screen Shot 2020-11-28 at 5.47.21 pm

It hasn’t taken long for greedy goofball Messagebank Walker, the battler’s champion, to adopt Labor’s ‘let them eat cake’ mantra.

In an astounding response to Federal member Phillip Thompson’s request for a crisis meeting over crime, Walker took exception to Thompson’s description of the holiday season mayhem of stolen car, armed robberies, carjackings and vandalism as being 
‘simply unacceptable’.
Messagebank’s dismissive reply, quoted in the Astonisher, is a wall-to-wall lie.
It’s easy for the federal member to cause a lot of fear,” Mundingburra MP Mr Walker said.
“The police service is doing a great job, and you would have heard they caught another baddie in relation to carjackings.
“We are not announcing on a State Government level what the police are doing as a strategy to catch these offenders.
“The police are doing a very good job, they have got a plan, and they’ve got resources, and they’ve got more resources coming.”

Astounding stuff, but the kicker came with his punchline.
‘I call on Mr Thompson to stop using social media to create fear.’

Well, perhaps there is a the deal to made here, you time-serving, trough-bingeing party toady – 
Thompson will stop using social media to tell the truth about you if you stop using social media to tell lies about yourself. 

PS Yes, the cops are doing as great a job as they can with the resources they given by arsesoles like Walker, Stewart and Harper. The sterling and often courageous efforts of the often hamstrung police is never in question, but the courage of our elected members certainly is.

Cause fear? So it is Phillip Thompson that has the Townsville community fearful for the property, livelihood and personal safety, is it, you disgusting disgrace? This piece of jelly-backed sophistry from Walker came the day after the Bulletin featured this front page of a woman forced to repel an attempted car jacking.

Screen Shot 2021-01-05 at 3.14.05 pm

But how could this have happened, surely there is an error in this account. Because Aaron Harper, who apparently misheard and took the Oaf of Office had demanded – yes, demanded – an end to the Townsville crime wave … in 2017!!

Screen Shot 2021-01-09 at 11.01.54 pm

Now, there was a time if a politician went to his or her leadership and ‘demanded’ something that the party had shied away from, such a move carried the implicit threat to otherwise resign and go to the back benches. But honourable Aaron Harper, one of the biggest-ever blood sucking burdens on the public purse, is still there. And you who voted for him, offer up a small prayer for the man who demands safety in your name as you stare at your empty driveway or garage.

Fear And Loathing In Walker Street

 magpie peering copy

Tricky business, this blogging caper. The ‘Pie gets a good deal of – shall we say – questionable mail each week, which he has to sift through to decode, read between the lines, decipher implied meanings and get past some grammar that would be frowned on even at the Bulletin (well, maybe). Most of these emails are deleted, some after a preliminary investigation, but the occasional matter seems worthy of some cautious attention.

Such as the following email that wafted into the Nest during the week, which began:

“Can you please send me your email address so I can forward an email I sent to TCC mayor Jenny Hill I am a current employee concerned about all the recent departure, the promotion of incompetence and the new CEO with no clue.”

Although The ‘Pie takes these things with a pinch of salt, it sounded interesting enough and since it had a name signed to it, invited further info. What landed was both interesting, but unsubstantiated, and disappointing, in that the whole thing points to an underlying problem about tackling what many report to be a toxic culture within the council.

The forwarded email apparently send to the mayor began:

From: Means end

Sent: Sunday, 20 December 2020 7:41 PM

To: email hidden; JavaScript is required <email hidden; JavaScript is required>
Subject: Confidential help required

Good evening Madame Mayor, Jenny Hill

I am a current (who knows for how much longer) employee of Townsville City Council and to be fruitfully honest, I am at a loss as to who I can contact about this so this is why you’re the recipient of this email, i would sincerely appreciate your help. Which speaks volume of the culture in this place.

Apologies in advance for using a pseudonym email as I am simply too fearful for the repercussions of speaking out.

We have gone through significant change in the last few years, from the departing CEO to the acting arrangements and promotions of some, in my opinion, questionable talent.

I wanted to highlight some serious area of concern that I confidently say is felt by all team, and general managers and even banded staff out on the floor.

What then followed was reads like a tabloid reporter’s wet dream, a paradise of accusations of professional incompetence, sexual harassment and victimisation, revenge sackings motivated by a lovers’ acrimonious split and another because of professional jealousy (the termination of a recent CFO was cited in this respect), other extra curricular hanky panky, and even instances of drug dealing. Names were named – one in particular which raises questions of motivation on behalf of the informant – dirty deeds detailed.  And although the writer did supply their own name to The ‘Pie, and suggesting they were a mid-level executive, but insisted on anonymity. The writer then says this in the mayor’s email:

“As I write this, I also feel perhaps the appropriate course is to also submit this to the CCC to ensure investigation, and that’s no disrespect to you madame mayor but we can all see just how much (executive x – Magpie) is calling the shots behind the scenes and its scary! (Executive x – Magpie) is under-qualified but over resourced and connected and will significantly impact the performance of this council. Finally, I will say, I am going to forward this to the CCC and please please please look into this and uncover some of this madness.”


The Magpie’s initial reaction to all this was a sober, professional and measured ‘Cor fucken blimey, you liddle bewdy!!’ But following a bit of a thinkette, certain other aspects became apparent.

In the end, The Magpie decided that while much of the detail offered points to this being a genuine concern, and if true, certainly demands to be investigated, the whole things collapses on one crucial point – the anonymity. Because if the mayor is approached by someone using a pseudonym – on any subject, let alone one that may have unpleasant repercussions for her – she, or her Executive Assistant, the acting mayor and/or the CEO, are all entitled to ignore the whole thing. It is unimaginable that anyone would act on such bombshell allegations from an unknown person, there isn’t even proof that it came from a staff member (although it obviously did). When is the last time you responded to an email that contained allegations that, apart from anything else, could implicate or just reflect badly on yourself? So not a realistic expectation, and it’s a penny to a pinch of poo that there won’t be any reply.

So you may now ask why has The Magpie bothered to put it out there in public?

Two reasons.

The complaints fit into the pattern of claims of staff abuse and behaviour that have been reaching The Magpie since the infamous reign of Adele The Impaler Young, so on the balance of probabilities, they could hold some water (no pun intended).  But the other and main reason for writing about this is to point out that there is only one solution to getting any action on these claimed abuses: that sooner or later, someone in the council ranks is going to have to put on their industrial strength undies, slip in a cricketer’s protector and be willing to step forward to openly make such claims. And also to provide evidence. Perhaps a better way would be if a group – as many as are willing – adopted the strength-in-numbers approach and send a collective email of concerns.

So here’s the deal the Magpie offers to his informant. If you are willing to re-send the email under your own name, or under the names of a collection of like-minded colleagues, The Magpie will undertake to publish it in full, redacting only some names and identifying words if deemed legally necessary.

Folks, The Magpie can only do so much. Over to you.

The Bulletin Expresses Its Opinion … Of Us

From comments.

The Magpie 

January 5, 2021 at 10:38 am  (Edit)

Seriously, could this fucking paper be more patronising?

Screen Shot 2021-01-05 at 10.33.09 am

According to Ms Charles’ above report, the council did not use the demeaning phrase ‘no need to panic’, a cliche that insulting suggests we are prone to lose at the first bit of rain. And nowhere in the story was acting mayor Molachino ‘call for calm’, as though we are all running around like headless chooks. It is clear whoever wrote that headline doesn’t know Townsville at all. Piss poor headline, you ‘All For Us’ wankers.

The Magpie 

January 6, 2021 at 12:32 pm  (Edit)

THEY’RE AT IT AGAIN. You nitwits are just making this up.

Screen Shot 2021-01-06 at 11.47.23 am


Then we have the two backpackers at Rollingstone who were ‘left shocked as flash flooding gripped the Northern Beaches’. Turns out they were fascinated about how puddles quickly grew bigger while they were having breakfast.

And quick, call an ambulance, our backpackers were so ‘left shocked’ to need treatment for trauma, as clearly seen in these two pics.

Screen Shot 2021-01-06 at 11.50.13 am Screen Shot 2021-01-06 at 11.50.49 am

Then the reporting team tends to knock down the drama a notch when they quote a local stating the bleedin’ obvious ‘it was just another summer event, and is an annual occurrence.’

This juvenile shock-horror reporting is not only demeaning to yourselves, but also is an insult to the intelligence of the not-surprisingly dwindling number of readers of your paper.

AND MEMO TO OLD MAGPIE MATE EVAN MORGAN: excellent snapper though you are, Evan, you have form for enticing your subjects to break the rules so regularly honked loudly in your own paper urging everyone to stay out of floodwaters. You have followed up last year’s kids standing in fast flowing water on the wall of a weir with these efforts of ‘shocked’ backpackers. One can only hope for your sake Evan, that nothing untoward happens from your eagerness for an ‘interesting’ pic.

But Iditor Craig Warhurst Has His Finger on The Pulse …

… or something that’s throbbing anyway.

Cyclone Bailey?!?

Screen Shot 2021-01-04 at 10.55.23 am

Screen Shot 2021-01-04 at 10.56.14 am

Yes, indeedy, seems Cockwomble Warhurst was into the festive Bailey’s Irish Cream a tad too enthusiastically over the festive season., ESPECIALLY when cartoonist Harry had it exactly right on the very page opposite.

Now that really is fake news.

But Ya Gotta Larf

The Astonisher’s annual trip down the whimsy mine has delivered us the usual lode of fools’ gold in the form of the 50 Most Influential People in Townsville over the past year. This is really just a collection of adoring colonoscopies of those whose nether regions the iditor and sales manager of the Bulletin feel they should glue their lips to.

Screen Shot 2021-01-09 at 11.33.07 pm

It’s all arbitrary and pointless hokum, but always good for a laugh … especially loved the line about Mayor Mullet ‘springing into action’ to create a pandemic task force.
“Cr Hill, with the help of other key members of the community, sprang into action, creating Taskforce NQ which was designed to lead the region’s economic recovery.”

And what do this dynamic conglomerate do?
“The taskforce developed a document that detailed key projects which could drive growth across North and North West Queensland.”

In other words, yet another bullshit wish list.

Always good to know we’re safe in the hands of Jenny and her visionaries.

How The British Museum Has Shown Townsville (And Australia) A Just Solution To A Divisive Dilemma


The Magpie was much taken with this recent article about Hans Sloane, because it showed us a way forward on the question of historical accountability.

The Magpie was delighted to see that he was no longer alone in his suggestion of how we can reconcile the sins of past pioneers without erasing their contribution to modern Australia.

The British Museum was under particular pressure, because the Sloane, the physician and naturalist was largely responsible for founding the institution with a bequest of his collection of artefacts. Sloane was linked to slavery because he owned plantations in the West indies which used slave labor. The Museum decided rather than meet obnoxious demands to ‘erase’ him from history, they moved his bust to a new area which featured artefacts and links explaining his connection with slavery. (Of course, the woke folk are in a tizzy, saying this is not enough and he should be obliterated, but – well, basically … fuck ‘em, it’s our unwoke history too.

Towns statue

Now, isn’t this the ideal solution to the (largely confected copycat) ‘outrage over the Robert Towns statue in the CBD? In a blog several moths ago, The Magpie suggested exactly what the British Museum has done. Why not create a new plaque for the statue, explaining in direct terms Towns involvement in ‘blackbirding’ and other perceived unacceptable behavior, as well as pointing out he is the reason for this city’s name. And this is a rule that could apply to other sites and memorials. ‘Cancel culture’ is a cancer that tries to play God with our history, but The ‘Pie for one doesn’t want the broad links to this point in time decided by sme fashionable cancel twaddle. The woke folk aren’t trying to re-write history, they are trying to say it didn’t happen … or at least not so that the general public should be aware of it.

This rule should especially apply if they ever erect statues of Tony Mooney, Jenny Hill or Snooze Reynolds. And now, Les Walker.

So Now The Mobster President Has Shown His True Colours


His dreams of Donald The Dictator are now in ashes, impeachment will surely await him this time, and hopefully, jail. But even if he doesn’t get a spell inside (Geoffrey Epstein’s cell in vacant), impeachment will mean that he cannot run for office in 2024.

It now remains to be seen what others will be held to account, particularly his leeching family members. It’s going to be a long and winding road down to the door in the wall.

History will a show a litany of ‘too little too late-ism by many people and organisations of the last four years , particularly the role of social media and Fox News – they both offered the Trump zanies various platforms to gas light the entire globe into thinking we were all actually mad. Except, that is, for the woke folk of politics and deep state conspiracy theorists. In the Guardian, Marina Hyde summed up belated moves to muzzle this evil bastard in her usual swashbuckling language.

And so to the founding fathers of this level of mass delusion. It was nice to hear from Mark Zuckerberg, who grandly announced he’d blocked Trump’s Facebook and Instagram accounts. This is not so much a case of shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted as doping the horse, whipping it into a frenzy, encouraging it to bolt, fostering a world in which humans are subjugated by horses, monetising every snort and whinny, allowing the very existence of “humans” and “horses” to become just one of a bunch of competing opinions, and then – only when that one particular horse has outlived its usefulness and seems destined for the glue factory – gently closing the stable door with a self-satisfied little “click”. Marina Hyde in The Guardian

Trump will be the catalyst for sweeping changes in the way Big Brother social media behemoths and corporations are allowed to interfere in our basic rights.

His failed coup will live in infamy in all history … and so should those who supported him.

20201228edbbc-a bg010521dapr Screen Shot 2021-01-06 at 10.10.52 am 247242_rgb_768 20210107edphc-a cb010821dapr cjones01052021 cbr010221dapr 010721capitalmobr cjones01092021 Screen Shot 2021-01-08 at 8.47.14 am 247142_rgb_768 247206_rgb_768 sbr010721dapr 20210104edshe-b cbr010421dapr 247174_rgb_768 lk123120dapr 20201230edhoc-a lk010721dapr 20210106edshe-b 247254_rgb_768_1

If 2020 was a maths problem it would probably be like this: If you’re going down a river at 5 KPH and your canoe loses a wheel, how much pancake mix would you need to re-shingle your roof?

And Finally, In A Peaceful Place Far Far Away From Our Everyday World ….

Screen Shot 2021-01-08 at 9.25.54 am

And good luck to you, little fella.


Gawd, what a week … and we’re not even two weeks into what we hope will be our year of salvation. Keep an eye on comments, our readers keep up with matters in real time … and so can you. And of course The ‘Pie has put some WD-40 on the donate button, so you will no problems helping your favourite weekly vread to stay aloft.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. Mike Douglas says:

    Townsville is in more trouble than i thought if the Astonisher believes the Cities most influential persons are the Mayor (whose panel of experts ) havnt listed one shovel ready project to re-boot Townsville economy which is the Taskforces charter . Tel Ceo who has departed for greener pastures on the Gold Coast as 2nd . The Astonisher reported this week that 4,000 businesses in Townsville are still collecting Jobkeeper so the astonisher thinks the Council (who couldnt organize Christmas Carols ) and made a loss of $6.9 mil last years and millions of non paid rates can re-boot the City ? . Over at the tin foil Townsville facebook page that claims it represents the ratepayers they were outed on a number of occasions this week on their alarmist comments and photos posted . On questioned whether the so called association believed COVID existed the reply was to suggest people read “understanding the big picture ” and COVID was financially driven . Then when the site posted a photo of a Supermarket that was stripped from panic buying observant readers advised them it was Tesco UK . Thanks again Pie for your continual updates / comments and contributors on actually what is happening in the City vs what the Council /State Government / Astonisher feed us .

  2. Alahazbin says:

    Trump has stated that he will not be attending Biden’s inauguration. Biden has replied “Well that’s one thing he and I can agree on” Touché

  3. Prince Rollmop says:

    Very pleasing to see more TCC insiders spilling the dirt on the toxic workplace. However, pleading to Hill to fix things isn’t going to happen. Councillors are not meant to get involved in the day to day people issues under the general management team and CEO. Their role is appeasing, pleasing, and jacking off the public while they fill their pockets with backhanded deals and gorge themselves on jobs for the boys. The Prince is however fairly pissed off at the lemon he has inherited and its been interesting to watch his emotive reactions to numerous situations. Only a CCC investigation could add more fun. There are currently more leaks than the ageing pipeline!

    • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

      A little ticking time bomb of joy.

    • Tropic blunder says:

      The Choadblower threw one hell of a hospital pass after the state he left the place in. Interestingly it seems like a few of his people are being sacked. Wonder who’s next

      • Prince Rollmop says:

        All of this mess started when the Hill Council hired Adele The Impaler who slashed and burned TCC to the ground. This was followed by the hiring of Mike Choadblower who basically did nothing while sitting in the big chair, other than watch Rome continue to burn. Now we have the Prince who has slimed his way back into Council to supposedly be the saviour of all this mess! Meanwhile the root cause of all this mess – Jenny Hill and Co, are still happily collecting their fortnightly paycheque’s. What a joke……

        • The Magpie says:

          Think you missed out a couple of earlier steps in the fire lighting process. Perhaps it all started when the mayor, contracted Prins Randall and his Nous organisation to review the TCC staffing and systems set-up – in retrospect, seems a bit like seeking recipe advice from Hannibal Lecter. Once that cynical and callous review was adopted, it was decided that an outside head kicker was needed to be brought in to implement the unpleasant strategy of mass sackings, A staffer in Nous’s Melbourne HQ tapped her old colleague Adele Young – with whom she had apparently worked with for the Labor Party in Adelaide – ignoring her lack of experience in that role but knew of her reputation as a very enthusiastic and unprincipled ALP headkicker. So Adele arrived, hatchet in hand and dollar signs in her eyes. One of Adele’s gifts to the TCC was Stacey Coburn, who is reported to be of a like mind to The Impaler.
          The hour glass ran out for her as we know (only one Queen Bee allowed in the Walker Street hive), so ex-NT Labor buddy Chiodo was shoe-horned into the CEO role while they looked around for a more suitably compliant money-grubbing arsesole. Which meant we came full circle to former GM of HR Coburn who was instrumental, The ‘Pie is told, in hiring Nous principal The Prince, a person with zero local government exposure leadership, but a proven unswerving devotion to number crunching and career crunching.

          And, as one TCC reliably told The Magpie ‘Now everyone especially is even more fearful as the relationship between her and the new CEO is very close indeed given the initial hiring scenario’. Ms Coburn has also come in for a good deal of defamatory gossip about other alleged personal relationships with staff and certain extra curricular activities, but none of that can be substantiated, and would be irrelevant except even if just gossip which is allowed to go unchallenged, is highly damaging to staff security and morale.

          Look, The ‘Pie will be honest … if it wasn’t so disheartening and distressing, it would be fun charting this Games of Drones.

          Winter is surely coming.

          • The Magpie says:

            Or perhaps we should all read this little timeless tome.

          • Prince Rollmop says:

            Pie, your accurate and succinct description of events and your timeline of TCC’s demise is worthy of a Walkely Award. It is disturbing but most accurate. And most certainly if the Prince was some sort of legitimate ‘fixer’ he would have cleaned house in the first week and disposed of at least one of the names you mentioned, and some other folk. But no, nothing. All quiet on the Strand front!

            Rest assured, the cauldron is stirring, it’s been bubbling for some time, and certainly the Mayor has lost all respect and confidence of TCC staff due to her sanctioned approvals of certain TCC execs over the years. But never forget this Dear Prince; “when people lose everything and have nothing left to lose, they lose it”. That describes TC.C staff after years of neglect, abuse and battering. Hallway gossip and smoko hut talk will now become ‘reports to the CCC and the media’. Once again fair Prince, on behalf of a decimated and exhausted Council we say welcome!

          • Benito says:

            You are giving Coburn too much credit. She was hired by Adele. She is manipulative and untrustworthy. But she was hired above her skill set. Her previous experience being only in employee relations.
            However she is desperate to be important, power hungry and will stop at nothing.

          • The observer says:

            Far to much credit for coburn, hired by the impaler then sneaking around planning her execution. Fluttering her eye lids resembling working girls in an infamous Sydney location. We must give her some credit I suppose for being the manipulative person she is. I would love to hear about the Info you have, I must say.

            Get rid of the lot of em I say.

          • HR Hellp says:

            Coburn has something and something big, frequently says the Mayor doesn’t make decisions she does.

          • No More Dredging says:

            ‘Pie, Here’s something from the record, but seemingly out of the picture, that might cast some different light on this subject:

            CITATION: PARTIES:
            In the termination of the Townsville City Council (Field and Other Employees) Certified Agreement 2017 [2019] QIRC 191

            (just copy/paste it into google)

            When you look at it, the Palaszczuk government is making merry with its appointments to the QIRC in pretty much exactly the same fashion as the Morrison government is fiddling with the Administrative Appeals Tribunal (AAT). In fact it looks like a carbon copy. Who is out-shrewding who here because it looks like we aren’t on the invitation list? And won’t be.

          • Benito says:

            Unfortunately HR Hellp, Mrs Coburn is correct. The mayor cannot (legally) make decisions in regards to staffing matters. The buck stops with the CEO. Coburn has been throwing her weight around for some time.

            We all know that Adele was a raving fucking loonie. Coburn was under serious pressure to perform under Adele’s psychpathic leadership. She spent a long time working late nights implementing the grand crazy plan.

            Under Chiodo, who is a cockwomble of the highest order, she thrived. It’s easy to manipulate a lazy, sleazy old man when you flutter your eyelids.

            Under Eber Butron, the absent, but happy to sign on the line acting CEO, not much changed. Just ensure you don’t cross him.

            Now we have a small man who likes his ego caressed. This is Coburns speciality. If he has half a brain he will ask her some pointy questions. And he will need to learn to pick the truth from the lies.

          • Tropic blunder says:

            It should be noted that the Choadblower promoted Coburn to General Manager after the Chief Financial Officer’s departure.

      • Baaketball says:

        A hospital pass is very fitting. The ex nurse, now an executive department head, with no experience whatsoever, is the biggest bully TCC has ever seen. She doctored documentation after an excavation incident to save her own fat arse. Just ask the water workers and their manager Rob McCaig, can’t ask the big Manager because he has been fired. Told them they are not entitled to a copy of their statement and to delete their photo proof.

        • The Magpie says:

          Johnno, if you are going to try to use this blog to name people you believe are snitches and tattle tales, you will have a chance of publication if you are willing to use your own true name as the author. Otherwise, you are just what you are accusing others of … a snitch and a nameless one at that.

          Criticism and allegations of bullying and other illegal behaviour by executives might be cautiously aired here, but water cooler sniping among staff is of little import or value in trying to drain this particular swamp.

          Sooner or later, someone in Walker Street is going to have stand-up, taking all the risks that entails, and name names, incidents and events and offer proof of the same.

        • The Magpie says:

          Since you are making accusations of criminal/corrupt behaviour, and suggest there is evidence available, perhaps you would care to offer what proof you have, out in the open, Baaketball (sic)? Under your own name?

        • Lord Howard Hertz says:

          If you have proof, Baaketball, why haven’t you done your moral duty and reported this corrupt behaviour? Your job is safe if you have the claimed evidence.

    • Unsurprised says:

      Unsurprised should say it all! If only the walls of TCC could talk and the truth of many dirty dealings revealed. Unsurprised someone has written to the mayor…. we all know who runs the show….including the day to day operations.

      • Don says:

        The mayor and Molacino know about the Coburn’s behaviour and performance but have failed to act.

        • The Magpie says:

          Genuine question …. how much sway and official input can an elected official, up to and including the mayor, have over executive behaviour under the Local Government Act? Jenny and her ‘one queen bee’ attitude would be keeping a close eye on Coburn and these widely-reported developments within the staff ranks.

  4. Achilles says:

    The Indian cricket team are reluctant to play at the Gabba, coz of fear of Corona.

    What a pity Lazza and co didn’t build a multi sports stadium!

    A competent head of TEL would have had no difficulty in charming them to TSV.

    In reality we have neither

    • Kenny Kennett says:

      Nah that’s not the reason. They don’t want to have to quarantine in a hub again. Get your facts straight mate. Anybody who comes from the second highest COVID country in the World is hardly going to be scared to catch the virus from a handful of Canetoads. It’s also just an excuse coz they don’t want to play at the Gabba as they’ve never won a match there.

  5. The Magpie says:

    This is disgusting, demeaning, despicable, certainly not politically correct and definitely not woke. So The Magpie will be very angry with those readers who do NOT laugh.


    CAIRNS – you are able to fight your neighbour providing you wear a mask and social distancing rules are adhered to.

    TOWNSVILLE – burgling homes in your local area is still permitted providing you sanitise before and after the offence. Track and trace technology must also be used.

    GOLD COAST you can only visit your dealer when collecting your children from school. The dealer should wear a face visor and make sure all bags are sanitised.

    MOUNT ISA – having a good time with your sister is still permitted but you must be home before 10pm and use approved lubricant.

    PROSERPINE – Vigilante groups of no more than six allowed outdoors and socially distancing between the hours of 10pm – 2am only. You must wear suitable PPE for any physical contact.

    TOOWOOMBA – escort services are still permitted to remain open, this is now classed as essential services for fear of the economic collapse of the town. Entry from the rear only

    SUNSHINE COAST – Now declared a NO GO ZONE (in 1984), if you must travel to this area please follow all diversions, traffic cones and signals, remain in your car, do not abandon your car, masks are not required as nothing is open

    ATHERTON – Everyone must remain at home and self isolate until manufacturers can distribute gloves with 6 fingers. Please do not go to A&E for digit removal as they are a tad busy.

    ROCKHAMPTON – Covid in these parts does not exist, therefore you should carry on as you were, Wife swapping, house hopping, social gatherings, drunken parties and fireworks until January are mandatory, Survival of the fittest, we’re currently testing ‘herd immunity’ in these areas.

    Stick to these guidelines and we’ll get through it together, and if you stay in any of these areas it’s only a joke please don’t participate especially the wife swapping in Cairns, as you’re likely to get an uglier one than the one you came with

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      What do the wives call wife swapping?


    • Alahazbin says:

      Can we get a few from Proserpine up here.

    • Achilles says:

      Re the comment about Cairns and ugly women. I used to live in Cairns and never went to bed with an ugly women…….but I most defintly woke up with a few….. stuff of nightmares some of ‘em.

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      Here we are; in a ‘news rich environment’, (read Trump and his Bozos with Bullets and impending bloodshed) and the ABC news service is mostly absent on annual leave. Meanwhile ABC RN has ‘Best of the Festivals’ while Yanky Land implodes.

      I do crave good coverage of this history making time, with all the gory bits included.

      There is nothing united about the ‘USA’ It is a (now fragmenting) conglomerate of states.

      God bless the Conglomerated States of America.

      God save Australia.

      Meanwhile the Chinese Communist Party looks on.

  6. The Magpie says:

    Just too, too funny not to post … the new ad for lamb … and the final punchline is a killer.


  7. The Magpie says:

    Gosh, the Townsville Bulletin younglings have discovered crocs!!

    The on-line story prattles on about this ‘close call’ with a freshie being captured on video an d shown on Youtube LAST WEEK (figures) – but fails to include it in the story. The whole thing is another breathless report of the unremarkable daily life of Townsville.
    If you want to see something somewhat more remarkable than a beat-up by the local Astonisher drones, just in from the NT, a different sort of drone report that makes you clench the old cheeks … just have a look at this handbag makers wet dream … BTW, these are the more dangerous and aggressive salties.


  8. J.B says:

    Morning Pie, here’s a bit of social commentary on what’s happening state side today, well one guys opinion anyways.
    Five people died. Everyone who’s been arrested should be charged with murder, along with the politicians who encouraged it.

    • The Magpie says:

      Very sober analysis of where we’re at, at the moment, literate and well delivered, with a lot of info of which The ‘Pie was not aware. Had a look around and this bloke is a known presence on the internet, but cannot find his name. Got on for the record?

      And a point on your final statement … just as a matter of law, both in the US, UK and here inter alia, the primary element of a charge of murder is proving ‘intent’. Highly unlikely there would be such a futile blanket charge even attempted. Plenty of others they’ll get it stuck too them, anyway, like sedition an d rebellion.

  9. J Jones says:

    Latest selling guff from the editor and his missus:

    Whether it’s floods, COVID-19, Cowboys or school formals, the Townsville Bulletin has you covered like nobody else in North Queensland. Now you can access our premium journalism at a very special price.

    For a limited time only, new customers can subscribe to townsvillebulletin.com.au with no lock-in contract for just $5 a month for the first three months.

    We’ll even throw in Saturday and Sunday newspaper deliveries too if you wish.

    • The Magpie says:

      Be more enticing if they said ‘throw out’.

      What’s the missus business?

      • J jones says:

        She’s the chief of staff

        • The Magpie says:


          • The Magpie says:

            Thanks Jonesy, just for my records for future reference.

          • The Magpie says:

            And BTW FYI Ms Nissan is not the editors squeeze. Missus was COS when he arrived but left to sprog. For the record, Craig is very well liked both by his staff and around town (The ‘Pie has never met him) but matters dealt with here require him to be Murdoch’s man at the head of the community’s only newspaper, hence the general attitude to him over the News’ penny pinching attitude to reasonable staffing levels by competent people.

    • Achilles says:

      I didn’t know the TB had two versions. Must have; coz the add is for “premium journalism”,

      • The Magpie says:

        The ‘P{ie has always (and not just in this case) treated the adjectival form of premium –

        [ pree-mee-uhm ]SHOW IPA
        of exceptional quality or greater value than others of its kind; superior:
        of higher price or cost.

        in the same way he treats the word ‘gourmet’.

        If a delicatessen had a stack of Bulletins on its counter and a sign that said Premium Gourmet Baloney, you might wonder what they’re referring to.

  10. Critical says:

    You’ve got it all wrong everyone Stacey Coburn is a nationally recognised woman of influence. After reading this, I didn’t need my daily glass of prune juice.


  11. Grumpy says:

    It’s not really summer until the Indians complain of racial abuse. One (immediately after being cheered after his bowling was hit for two consecutive sixes) complains of being called a “dog”. Apart from the fact that it has now been shown to be quite untrue, Andrew must be revelling in the irony of it all.

    • The Magpie says:

      Andrew? You refer to Banana Breath Symonds, one takes it.

      And while we’re here, has anyone yet indicated what was supposed to have been said that allowed the Indians to have a strategic break in play?

      • Achilles says:

        I was working in India at the time and went to the game in Bangalore; the cat calling and vilifying chorus from the ranks of Indian spectators toward Andrew Symonds was astounding from offers of bananas to continuos ape calls.

        Symonds copped it on the chin; but the Indian mob here all have glass jaws, like so many these days finding offence where there is none.

        • Achilles says:

          Remember the fiasco of Indians getting their knickers in a knot over the Dickie Knee, John Blackman incident.

        • The Magpie says:

          …and easily find a willing chorus of woke folk who lead and promote the outrage industry. AND we still don’t know what was supposedly said to prompt the totally strategic break in play.

          • No More Dredging says:

            You must have found it particularly woke of the Australian captain to offer a grovelling apology for his own behaviour during the match.

          • The Magpie says:

            That was about sportsmanship, not racism. And just to be clear to tone deaf wakey wakeys like you, The ‘Pie unequivocally states that racism is the final resort of the insecure, inadequate and developmentally delayed in our – or any – community, and is to be called out. However, we still … well, The ‘Pie doesn’t … don’t know what was said to upset the Indians so much that at a crucial moment when they were staring defeat in the face, they felt it necessary to have a break while the umpires and wallopers ‘made inquiries’. And why is this of any import? Simply because if we don’t know what was said, we then are denied to the opportunity to judge for ourselves the seriousness of the alleged offence and just have trust the manipulative postmodernist machinery ruling much of the prissy
            beat-up sensationalist media to make the decision for us as to what is acceptable and what is not.

            Real racial and homophobic abuse is not to be tolerated, but there has to be some judgement … for instance, in the case of the Indian cricketers, there is a world of difference between, say, ‘You Indian sister fucker’ – ‘bhan jud’ in Hindi, and ‘’ave a go, yer curry-munching mug’, the latter falling into the same category as ‘pommy’, ‘yank’ and even ‘banana bender’ for a Queenslander. Even Indian journalist travelling with the current tour think it a silly storm in a teacup.

            This week, golfer Justin Thomas gave a grovelling apology to some offended pooh bah when … after much amplification by on-course hot mics in post play viewing, he was faintly heard reprimanding himself for missing an easy putt by muttering – and it was a barely audible mutter -‘faggot’.

            That woke enough for you NMD? Hooray, ya reckin?

          • No More Dredging says:

            Around the time of the crowd abuse incident on Day5 I heard one of the TV commentators mention that the incident the day before was about anti-Islamic abuse – at least one of the Indian players is a Muslim (perhaps the same one at the centre of the latest incident). So it was already a live issue on Day4 of the Test. Given that on Day5 the Indians turned the game from one they were well placed to lose into one they were well placed to win, it’s not surprising that some in the crowd took some cues from the Australian players and started trying out some well known Ozsportsmanlike sledging – which apparently we are very good at – not! Unfortunately, some of them could have been less mature than the 13 year old schoolgirl at the centre of the Adam Goodes AFL sledge back in the day and the coppers and security guys had no difficulty in making a decision on behalf of the ‘audience’. I haven’t heard of the culprits looking for their day in court (or elsewhere) to contest the ban so perhaps they assume they’re getting off lightly.

          • The Magpie says:

            You really are a sad fucking creature on some subjects. The Indians are the ones that needed to break up the Australian bowling rhythm, not the other way around. Effectively, the Aussies (kangaroo fuckers if you will) needed just one wicket to be odds on to win the game. There are plenty of sporting grifters out there who know to play the snowflake card. Anti-Islam bias? Like calling someone a ‘towelhead’? Get a bloody grip mate.

          • Alahazbin says:

            Pie, Allegedly one of the six called him a ‘brown dog’ and 5old him to ‘go home’
            Although the Indian spectator sitting a couple of rows in front told the police that didn’t say anything racist at all.
            It’s a life ban if found guilty. If innocent they will get a refund. Nothing about an apology.

          • The Magpie says:

            Well, dogs do hold the same place in affections in India as they do elsewhere, so one supposes that could be a tad boo-hoo, but it raises the question that if someone yelled’ Go home to your cow of a wife’, they would say ‘Thank you, sir, yes, she is sacred to me.’

  12. Gastronomy says:

    Ah for the days when a faggot was a heady mix of mince, kidney and liver all wrapped up in caul fat. I’m sure it was even palatable if washed down with copious amounts of red wine.

  13. Kenny Kennett says:

    According to the said Indian player (who was just upset on the boundary after being hit for 2 sixes), the abuser called him a ‘brown dog’. This was totally denied by those accused and also by those surrounding the accused, including Indian supporters. I have heard my share of abusive crowds but never a dark skinned person derogatory referred to as ‘brown’. But race abuse is an instant trigger for attention and over the years has really ruffled the feathers of many. And it differs as you travel around the World. I was absolutely scalded for referring to a cricketer from Pakistan as a Paki. Apparently that is an absolute no no in this age, in the UK. I remember growing up watching the cricket on TV or listening on the radio when the commentary team constantly referred to the players as Paki’s. Apparently its reach its ‘use by date’ as has the word ‘Abo’ down under.

  14. Stick bundler says:

a bundle of sticks bound together as fuel.

    bind in or make into faggots.
(in embroidery) join by faggoting.

  15. World series cricketa says:

    Oh the poor Indians, cant take a bit of Aussie banter. I remember feilding in slips when England came over all those years ago, big beefy Botham was giving us hell as usual. Then silly fucken rod marsh opens his gob and asks beefy

    “hows your wife and my kids doing”
    Beefy replied “wifes fine kids still retarded”. That was one of the cleaner ones mind you for a sledge. I told marshy that’s enough now as England were packing the urn back to England (sigh). Very precious our alot of people now. Forst to give shit to someone but equally first to jump on the righteousness waggon when it doesn’t suit them.

    • The Magpie says:

      And oldie and goldie … obviously you wagged school to practice to get to the Aussie team …. especially the English spelling and grammar class. And you fielding in slips? Mate, you couldn’t catch anything in slips if you were in the change room of a fashion show.

      • World series cricketa says:

        Yeah I didn’t worry too much about spellin lol. Even wif spel chek on the phone. I always made sure i was at 2nd/3rd slip that way I couldn’t get the blame for any drop catch, I just call “yours”.

      • I’ll be plucked says:

        Pie, one minor correction to your reply to World Series Cricket bat, girls don’t wear slips anymore, they went out with button up boots and y-fronts! :)

        • The Magpie says:

          They do around this Nest … briefly. Not button up boots, though, that as an extra charge.
          But always good to see the sharply honed humour of our readers.

  16. J.B says:

    Morning Pie, I don’t know this guys name except Beau of the Fifth Column. His description says he’s a southern journalist who is tired of a lack of common sense?

    • The Magpie says:

      Nice to hear an articulate voice in these matters. (Didn’t offer the second video, J.B, you’re right, dragged on a bit and besides, we’ve moved well on from what he talks about in it.) But thanks anyway.

  17. J.B says:

    rendition of sedition- a funny explanation

    • The Magpie says:

      OK, it’s published, but as said previously, times have moved on at warp speed (a much abused phrase) and frankly, it’s a bit boring, out of date, and a little of Randy Rainbow goes a long way.

  18. Alahazbin says:

    Probably Steve BG & NMD will think Anna P’s latest move of banning FIFO workers from leaving Brisbane as ‘she is keeping us safe’
    Then the next ‘light bulb’ moment is using the mining camps as quarantine stations.
    Cunning as a shit house rat.

    • Street sweeper says:

      Absolutely! Good ok Stevo and NMD love our Pollies in Nanna Anna and Mayor Mullet. Huge fans of Labor’s women leaders. I am sure they even want Jeanette Young to be given the Nobel Peace of crap prize!

  19. Hondaman says:

    I must ask, since nobody’s telling- is the visit to Townsville and Palm Island by the three retired football players( all part indigenous by the way) part of the great Harper secret plan to inspire potentially wayward youth? The realization that one could never hope to play for the Broncos given the current import strategy from the Pacific Islands that floods the whole N.R.L. and perhaps a career getting your head smashed in on a regular basis might appeal to some- but hey, stealing cars and money etc is definitely an easier option I’m sure they will soon work out! We can only hope some find a role model, it hasn’t seemed to happen yet in the local area!

  20. Cantankerous but happy says:

    We will decide what pigeons come to this country, and the circumstances which they come.

  21. The Magpie says:

    Could the Townsville Bulletin be in for an award outstanding community service.
    Today, we get this …

    Yes, the community thanks you for breaking a traditional rule observed by real news outlets … NEVER mention bomb hoaxes if nothing untoward happens. It is playing into the hands of the hoaxers, who want to stand back and snigger at the fun they’ve created, and the publicity they get. Any experienced and thoughtful editor knows this, and knows that nothing much is lost by ignoring such events unless something untoward happens as a result.

    Now every little snot with a Year 5 reading level will be having a light bulb moment that fun on a slow day is a just a phone call away.

    Don’t forget this paper is a facilitator and promoter of glamorising criminal behaviour … remember the feature ‘hottest crims of 2020’?

  22. The Magpie says:

    What she didn’t say in the interview was that her kidnappers were paid off when they threatened that if their demands were not met, they’d give her back.

    They got the loot and reneged on the deal.

  23. Elusive Butterfly says:

    The penny has finally dropped!
    It’s quite obvious that the Townsville Bulletin only employs people as “journalists” when English is their second language.
    There can be no other explanation as to why their reporting is so atrocious.
    It seems to me, that, there is no one, and I mean no one at the Bulletin, who knows how to correctly contruct a sentence.

    • The Magpie says:

      Among their sins is juvenile adjectival idiocy. Example.

      ‘Tragically’? As versus what, ‘deservedly’? ‘Carelessly’? What else could it be but tragic when an old bloke is killed like this? Does the Bulletin think we might not be aware that it’s a tragedy, and we need a little emotional help to get our recreational grief up to speed? Come the revolution and The ‘Pie is calling the shots, among the first edicts will be – for all media – a ban on all adjectives unless in quotes. Just tell us the fucking news, unadorned, and allow us to reach our own decisions about how we feel.

      It’s a shit show all right, and the staff have been further whittled down, The ‘Pie hears. Another finger to Townsville from News Ltd, which is now undisputedly part of the problem, not part of the solution.

  24. The Magpie says:

    Funny as … but lordy, it could be oh-so-accurate should it come about.


  25. Elusive Butterfly says:

    Further to the pathetic standard of journalism at the Townsville Bulletin, let’s take the opening paragraph of an article about the recent stabbing in an Ingham street.
    The opening par reads:
    “A MAN accused of murdering a man while he walked two women home on a quiet Ingham street will fight the charges against him.”
    The subject of this sentence is … “A man accused of murdering a man while he walked two women home on a quiet Ingham street”.
    The verb is “will fight”.
    The object…””the charges against him”.
    Therefore, the author of this article is telling us that the man who was stabbed and died is the one who will “fight the charges against him”.
    Go figure?
    This is just one of numerous fuckups Bulletin journalists bombard us with everyday.,
    Where is the editor…where are the sub-editors…where are the senior journalists…??
    It’s obvious that, when this stuff goes to print, nobody at Bulletin House has a clue about correct and incorrect reporting.
    It’s a joke and it slips beautifully into the “No Pride” mould that is now Townsville.

    • The Magpie says:

      In fact, that opening sentence clearly states that the man who did the stabbing was walking two women home at the time of the knifing. A strange case of multi-tasking, walking the gals home while stabbing a bloke to death. For it not to mean this, the word ‘while’ would need to be replaced by ‘who was walking two women home’.

      The sad thing one suspects is that even when and if the Astonisher ‘journos’ read this, they will be baffled and be none the wiser.

  26. The Magpie says:

    Linkedin Profile Photo.

    Well known Townsville businessman Nick Ferry has died while on a family holiday on the Gold Coast.

    Nick, the son of Richard Ferry, yesterday suffered a fatal heart attack while was playing with his children in a pool.

    He was 47.

  27. I’ll be plucked says:

    Les Walker knocked out in a brawl at The Mad Cow on the vomit strip! WTF?? Throwing his weight around or the victim of an attack?

Post a Comment

The Magpie encourages all to take part in the discussion and let their voice be heard.
In order to post a comment, you must provide a name. While you don't have to use your real name, it should be something unique so users can identify you in the discussion. Generic names like “Anonymous” will likely result in your comment being ignored.
Let the discussion begin!

Current ye@r *

Countdown until the next council election:

-868Days -3 -32 -4