Jenny Has Her Own Forklift Moment

Taking her lead from the Prime Minister, Mayor Mullet comes up with her own local equivalent of ’16-year-olds driving forklifts.’ to solve being ambushed by a COVID staff crisis – but fair go, who could’ve seen that coming?

Meanwhile, down at the SDA, special developments are actually happening … The Magpie updates his story of last week, and the questions asked then become even more important now.

The square dance of statistics on the pandemic in Queensland has now reached absurd levels, but the barrage of mostly meaningless verbiage undermines our willingness to believe the science. That is, the ‘science’ according to the Queensland Government.

The ‘Pie’s simple answer to the Australia Day/Invasion Day debate … it’s a solution that should please everyone – yes, seriously.

The survey you should not only fill out and submit, but you should distribute to your social media network. Sitting on your hands makes for a numb skull.

And one of the most charming and funny celebrity stories ever … and jt’s true.

Hey this week’s Magpie commercial is a bit different … it has come to the old bird’;s attention that two or three people have told him while they read The Magpie’s Nest, they don’t subscribe because they can’t pay for a subscription. So just to be clear this – blog always has been and always will be free. subscribing just ensures that it lands in your inbox every Sunday morning. The only money that supports this blog is via donation, which clearly means voluntary support. If you can donate to defray expenses, it is greatly appreciated, if you can’t or don’t want to, that’s also OK, no paywalls around here.

Now ever onward.

First Meet Next Year’s Australian Of The Year

You little ripper!!!

Special K Loves Big Kok

It sounds like a poorly sub-titled Asian porn flick, but it is in fact the latest grubby story out of this year’s Australian Open.

It is not a year that will bring much glory to the reputation of Australian tennis, in both administration or crowd behaviour. Not even the skill, decency and sportsmanship of Ash Barty will erase the bad taste of this year’s Melbourne disgrace. Even before it started, the Novax Jokavich saga made our incompetent, wobbly-kneed government and mealy-mouthed tennis administration the laughingstock of the world. The Keystone Kops were better organised.

Then partisan crowd behaviour brought further disgrace, as spectators adopted an English football chant that deliberately sounded like booing at crucial moments in the egregious Nick Kyrios’s matches.  Claiming the lame and lazy school child explanation that it was actually a version of cheering ‘hooray’ or somesuch, they fooled no one. One developmentally delayed nitwit suggested they had paid their money for a ticket, so they were entitled to barrack however they liked. It is fortunate that a dipshit like this doesn’t go to the opera, or golf, like to see how his freedom philosophy would go down there. But they all were egged on self-stroking graceless Kyrios, who himself has been guilty of a number of borderline cheating incidents over the years.

The ‘Pie gave thanks when he was beaten in the singles, perhaps now we could get on with the game itself. But no, this glistening sweat bead with the street hoodlum haircut was still there in the doubles with partner Thanasi Kokkinakis They had some fun and ‘laughs’ to put off their opponents during their semi, but as usual, Kyrios knows no boundaries, proving again to be a boring jerk-off Bentley was also unimpressed, he sent in a few words with his weekly view.

The tennis this year has been a debacle, spoilt by the mismanagement of the Novaxx Dickheadovic issue, the cheating, and the appalling behaviour of some of the fans. Now the antics of these two tossers, whilst entertaining to some, will certainly raise some eyebrows and some questions about the future of the sport.

 

Late note; Thank Christ Kyrios and Kokk won the Open Doubles title last night … at least we won’t have to put up with another whining media conference, blaming the media for his state of mind. No, just the sight of this mildly talented show pony at his homoerotic best, cuddling and repeatedly kissing his mate after the victory. Spare me!

Mayor Mullet Has Her Forklift Moment`

Interesting bit of a head-scratcher in during the week.

Some smartarses are asking ‘how could we tell the difference?’, but there were a couple of the unexplained spooky bits in this story, possums.

First, our FIFO CEO had this to say to the week’s meeting:

Mr Ralston said a pick-up in the Townsville economy had delivered a big boost to the council’s budget which was helping to provide a financial position that was better than initially envisaged.

‘Pick up to Townsville’s economy’, eh? Makes it sounds like happy days are here again, but all we’ve heard about is businesses closing and people out of work, aggravated by the government-invoked supply chain debacle. So perhaps the undisclosed reasons for the pick-up were two fold – spurred by the Federal homebuilders scheme last year, building applications, which attract a council charges but does not a guaranteed approval (another fee) probably spiked. And elsewhere in the paper, the mayor boasted that further council sackings – her euphemism this time was streamlining employee costs – had saved  $2.32M. That’s at least another 20 or 30 people gone.

But the real story out of that meeting was this little gem:

NON-ESSENTIAL services are being wound back in Townsville as the council prepares for significant disruption from Covid-19 cutting labour and the supply of materials.

Already, libraries and galleries are reducing hours, events are being cancelled or postponed and staff are being cross-trained for waste collection, while contractors are being sought to help operate sewerage treatment plants.

Maintenance of road verges and parks could also be cut or reduced and some capital projects are being delayed or deferred to next financial year.

“What I do want the community to know is that lawn mowing may not be a priority, if we take some people off mowing and get them to operate as garbage truck drivers, or road maintenance over mowing,” Mayor Jenny Hill said on Thursday. “This is where we’ll be over the next month or so until we get through the peak.”

Really? So blokes who sit on ride-on mowers or small tractors will be ‘trained up’ to take over complex machines which costs half a million bucks and take some mastering. And all done to get us over a hump in short-staffing in ‘the next month or so’?  That sounds like fast tracking – to disaster – and simply impossible.

To use the grand old Irish term, this bloody woman is ‘slightly adjacent’.

For starters, by the time anyone is ‘trained up’ to drive rubbish trucks, her timeline will be well past. And since when, Madam Mayor, does the local council issue licences to drivers of said trucks? Isn’t that a long and exacting process conducted by the state government, a mob called the Department of Main Roads and Transport (DMRT)? Have they agreed to some special deal? Or are ride-on mower and/or tractor licences all that is needed to pilot a rubbish collecting truck around public streets?

It’s a wonder she didn’t suggest 16-year-olds who can drive Xboxes had the necessary skills and should be seconded from high schools to help out.

The ‘Pie can just see the staff meeting at the Garbutt depot.

Foreman: OK, listen up, Jenny’s just bought a Lear jet, but can’t get air crew because of COVID. Any of youse blokes want to train up as a jet pilot?

Bluey: Would I get overtime?

Foreman: Yeah, orright, time and a half.

Bluey: OK, might as well give it a burl, when do I have to be qualified?

Foreman: By tomorra lunchtime.

Other blokes: Onya Bluey, but you’re still on for darts at Tom’s Tavern tonight, remember.

The Prince and The Mullet, what a team, you guys, ton of larfs.

Why Do They Do It? Seriously, Why?

The lazy Astonisher way of ‘localising’ rewrites from media releases has seen a long line of ‘Top Suburbs For ….’ – we’ve had top suburbs for car thefts, top suburbs for break-ins, for rate defaults, for domestic violence call-outs,  and the list goes on. And now this from the Weekend Astonisher.

What does this actually mean? Note that opening par by the latest cadet to come through the Bulletin turnstiles … ‘named and shamed’, Master Shirkie? How do you shame a suburb? Have the residents failed to control their local pooch-punishing neighbours, and therefore the whole place is in high odour? Do you make it a matter of dinner party shame so when asked where you live, and you , red faced, and hanging your head, whisper ‘Kirwan, but I love my doggie, Rupert’? Just what knowledge does the dwindling number of the Bulletin’s readers glean and learn from this childish pap?

You’re new around here Master Shirkie, are you? Not to worry, you’ll fit in just dandy with all the other lazy, timid sods at the Astonisher.

Speaking Of Meaningless

All week long it’s been going on, but just what does it mean, what does it really tell us? Answer NOTHING.

We  are regaled daily with ‘cases’ of  … of what? Omicron? Covid generally? We are given hospitalisation numbers, the age range of the dead (overwhelmingly from criminally neglected old age sector), how many are in ICU and how many are on ventilators. What the fuck is the point of all that, in the end, it is meaningless as information anyone can act on, or even be rationally concerned about? But it is doubly duplicitous when you consider, as reported in last week’s blog, the Queensland CHO stated that if someone dies of anything (he implied) and post mortem were found to have any COVID strain symptoms, they were listed as ‘dying of COVID’.  Remember how Bentley telling summed this up nonsense.

COVID and Omicron are real, but the level of panic prompting people to rush to hospitals is highly suspect. This has now clearly devolved into a political deflection tactic by this premier, who is daily sinking into a greater morass of corruption and covert interference with regulatory integrity bodies  – and that is not to even mention the Wellcamp rort. No wonder she’s against inquiries into these areas.

Hey, Don’t Leave It All To The Magpie

If you’ve got a beef about your local paper, here’s your chance to at least get it off your chest to a third party.

And don’t just fill out this survey, pass it around to as many as you can in your social media network … it may just get some wheels in motion … maybe. The Magpie has sent his in, but not much point in sharing it with you … you already have a pretty good idea of what he has to say.

SDA Update

Timing is a bitch in the blogging business. No sooner had last week’s Nest been published than more information came in about activity at the Special Development Area servicing the Port. The ‘Pie had questioned why nothing was happening there. Well, he was wrong, something is happening at the SDA – not that you’d know from the Townsville Mulletin’s obsession with Lansdown. If you missed it in comments, here’s the latest.

OK, had time for a little more research and there is a major question now raised for both our conniving mayor and the Townsville Bulletin. And if you think that is conspiratorial hyperbole, why have we hardly heard anything about the following, but are regularly treated to regular breathless (and wildly optimistic untruths) of the health and prospects of just about every blade of grass and tree stump at Lansdown. Compare the media coverage of the mayor’s pet project and the following, and then tell us that something is not afoot … and it’s all about jobs and progress being used as a political plaything.

Cleveland Bay Industrial Park isn’t new, it’s been in progress for a few years through the initiative of Ross Kiernan’s Kiernan Investments, which developed a lot of the Roseneath Industrial area.

Civil works started last November with industrial blocks (mostly Port related), with several already sold.

Check it all out here …… but the overview sums it up.

CLIENT: Kiernan Investments Pty Ltd
OVERVIEW
The Cleveland Bay Industrial Park (CBIP) master-planned industrial estate, will provide 90 hectares of fully serviced freehold industrial lots for development. Suitable industrial uses will include medium-impact industry such as freight terminals, transport depots, research and technology industries, warehouses and infrastructure facilities and the location will allow for 24/7 operations. The CBIP has direct access to the Townsville Port Access Road to connect to the Port of Townsville, nearby connections to the Bruce and Flinders Highways and planned infrastructure includes a signalised intersection to cater for Type 2 road train access to all sites.

A knowledgeable business insider who keeps The Magpie informed on all sorts of matters says Cleveland Bay Park is why local businesses shake their heads about Lansdown, and ask why, when there is all this land with better Port access. “If you are talking SDA Council doesn’t seem to have done anything on the PDA 122 page “Port Development Area “ another project T.C.C. has dropped the ball on.”

While remarks in the previous blog remain valid, they were obviously incomplete, and The Magpie apologises for not being more diligent before writing last week’s Nest. Multitasking is sometimes beyond the old bird.

The Solution To The Australia Day/Invasion Day Debate -A Win-Win Surely?

What did The ‘Pie do to celebrate Australia Day? Nothing.  Why would he, he both celebrates and despairs being an Australian every day of the year. But here’s something. The old bird thought he’d make a jest about the Australia/Invasion Day argument, but then when he read what he’d said, maybe it’s not that silly after all. The idea actually seems to tick all the boxes.

Why not make Australia Day the last – or second last – Monday of January every year? We use this formula for the Melbourne Cup – which some would claim has just as great cultural significance as Australia Day – and for both Rugby League and AFL grand finals. There are many events at local and state level that also follow this pattern (is the EKKA one?), and of course Easter and many other religious holidays – geez, they even invented a term to cover the idea – moveable feast.  And there’s no dissension about these annual hootenannys. The big upside for those currently clinging to Jan 26 as Australia Day is that on The Magpie plan, a long weekend is guaranteed … and that, folks, is as foolproof way of bribing Australian to vote for an idea as is free beer.

Oh, and indigenous groups and their supporters who want a designated Invasion/Survival Day … sure, help themselves to whatever date they deem appropriate, and if that is declared a holiday, what greater way for Aussies to come together and agree, k’noath, mate.

Simples, no?

Biden And The Bear

Beset by trickery, treachery and Fox News at home,  Joe Biden hopes his first big international face off might get him back on track with other world leaders who have been wondering what the hell is going on the States. Joe’s trying to stare down Vlad the Put over the latter’s strain over the Ukraine, and is playing a largely back channel game behind the tough talk which has Trump supporters baffled … ‘diplomacy’, what’s that, a new model Chrysler? But it his failure ion the home front – largely courtesy of two turncoat members of his own party, that is his biggest worry.

And Finally …

Here’s one of the most charming and funny celebrity stories for a long time, and The Magpie finds no reason why it shouldn’t be true. It’s about a small kid on an aeroplane, who spots a familiar face among the passengers.

Clever and classy!!

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That’s yer lot, but remember, comments are always there for you to fire back, agree, or make us breathless with some previously unknown info.  Also as always there is the donation button there below , available for those who have a rush of blood and want to help the Magpie’s Nest cover costs. See you next week.