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The Magpie

Sunday, December 22nd, 2019   |   267 comments

It’s Now Well Into The Silly Season, So The ‘Pie Says, Can’t Lick ‘Em, Then Join ‘Em

Yup, it’s that time of year when the media are even more dependent on social media silliness to fill time and space. And it’s also the time when politicians try to sneak out controversial or unpopular media releases, hoping for a softer impact because of holiday distractions. So while The ‘Pie will stand watch for you folk should anything untoward bob up, he’s decided this week to be more silly than serious (same old, same old, he hears you yawn). It’s a bumper edition, too, just in case The ‘Pie and Bentley decide take a break next weekend. which will depend on the silliness or lack thereof during the week.

On the serious side this week, there is:

….guess where our old chum Rabieh Krayem has popped up looking for the next main chance? And although long gone, his hypocrisy has many a Townsville parent hopping mad. Might be bad news for some, but for us, the good news it’s not in this state any more.

… Franz Kafka meets Monty Python: The new official Townsville Stadium traffic plan is a manic text book example of a ‘social engineering’ disaster …

…and Jenna’s off to cooler climes, so we await a new iditor for the Astonisher in 2020 – what will the News Corpse Unlucky Dip foist on us this time?

‘… and there seems to be a small matter of $28million missing from the Townsville Council budget. yes, really.

In the silly basket, The Magpie offers … well, a lot of silliness, including the little known trial and tribulations of Santa, and a few other things noticed in passing during the week.

But first …

The Stain Will Remain – Putin Learns Good Help Is So Hard To Find Nowadays

They must’ve been rolling on the floor in mirth in Pyongyang and Beijing and cackling over their croissants in the Elysee Palace …  but for the general populace of the United States, the mood was mixed. Such is our post-decency world that the impeachment of Donald Trump was widely greeted with a weary resignation in an America that has clearly lost both hope on the one side and its moral compass on the other, and continues on a wildly veering course travelling on the unstable soft shoulder of the road to catastrophe.

But as Bentley gleefully pointed out, House of Reps speaker Nancy Pelosi enjoyed what may ultimately be her empty moment of triumph.

Impeachment fin small

It is generally agreed that when the impeachment trial part 2 is sent to the Republican-dominated senate, the moral cripples and intellectual hunchbacked hongoblins of the GOP will not impeach the Tangerine Anus, who will therefor become the most publicly self-confessed guilty party to walk away from  historically damning charges. Charges that in another era would have ended in prison. But as he carries on his helter-skelter presidency, Trump cannot escape the stain of impeachment that will hang over his every move, and will surely make those dealing with more wary. Except the leaders of the likes of China and North Korea … this is the equivalent of getting Trump in a Christmas hold, although it doubtful this cowardly bully has anything big enough to be grabbed.

A little later, The ‘Pie will present his regular Trumpsylvania gallery, but there was one clever comment doing the rounds of social media that should sum up the feeling of any person with an intellect more advanced than an amoeba.

Trump grouchoMG_7288

Northern Fury At Rabieh Krayem

Rabieh Krayem Executive C'man Macarthur FCimage

Uh oh, he’s baaaack …

The old moral shape-shifting Rabster may be gone from our midst, but a recent bout of hypocrisy has a whole group of Townsville parents seething.

Seems our mild mannered rogue has left Queensland shortly after being kicked off the Stadium Queensland board for unspecified reasons (others went too at the time, so maybe just a job-lot purge) and headed back south to his old stamping grounds. Somehow, he has landed the plum role of chairman’s with Macarthur FC , a new team from the western Sydney fringe around Campbelltown  which will enter the national comp next year.

And it appears from this new pulpit, Rabieh is sought out for comment in the tightly knit, intrigue-ridden world of soccer administration, including SBS. And it was when this chancer was seen on SBS World Game FB page with this two-faced bit of grandstanding that locals became outraged.

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One reader who clearly believes Krayem damaged the game in this region through his handling of the Northern Fury programs managed to remain printable when commenting on the matter.

“For some years and not that long ago whilst running the NQ Fury, Rabieh was more than happy to pocket (charge) approx. $2,500 per child that was part of his “elite” Fury program. It seems the few outcomes that Rabieh has achieved locally (limited to junior Football) were to fail in the enterprise and leave many, many parents upset at how greatly they were out of pocket for so little having been delivered by way of pathways for juniors in the sport. Furthermore it has left such a bad taste in the mouths of some locals associated with the round ball game that those that haven’t walked away from it now question and even criticise much of the good hard work occurring at the local level, at state level and even at national level that is purely designed to advance player pathways for children, particularly for girls in the sport.None the less in one of his more recent ventures Krayem has been quoted in recent articles on “SBS The World Game” as wanting an inquiry into the fees involved in football specifically when it comes to player pathway fees (for juniors).

I am told Krayem’s rise as the Macarthur FC Chairman is another story in itself. One where he does not have clean hands.”

Another unhappy punter was short and to the point in posting a comment about Krayem being hypocritical.

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But It Looks Like Krayem Has Struck A Rich Vein To Mine

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Townsville stadium planners, please note the CAR PARK

The Macarthur Club seems to have a strong commercial and sponsorship base, so it would be most informative to find out how this bloke landed on gold plated feet, considering he was General Manager of the Cowboys Leagues Club when who was the manager of the Cowboys Club when it was trading insolvent in the late 90s early 2000s (rescued by some News Ltd/Lancini  fancy footwork) and was in charge of job finding firm when it went down the drain to the tune of $14million. Of course, if the good folk at Macarthur have any concerns, they could always pop over to Prime Minister country and ask the Cronulla Leagues Club about the sudden mid-90s departure of their then General Manager … Rabieh Krayem.

Of course, details of these matters will all be aired when – and if – Rabieh and grubby legal bully boy,  solicitor Barry Taylor ever get around to dragging The ‘Pie into court for alleged defamation.

And There’s Another Departure From Our Midst

Yes, about that time again for some more musical chairs in the iditorial ranks of News Corpse.

Screen Shot 2019-12-21 at 9.16.41 pm

Astonisher iditor Jenna Cairney has done her News-imposed penance here – Townsville is regarded in that light with News Corpse – and will welcome the cool change when she takes  the editor’s chair at the Hobart Mercury. Current Mercury editor Chris Jones heads to the Curious Snail, to take over Sam Weir, who in turn has gone off to Melbourne to the Herald Sun.

No word on who be sent to infest us in Cairney’s place, but it will be more than interesting to see how long the interloper will take to drink Mayor Mullet’s Kool Aid.

If Franz Kafka Met Monty Python, The Result Would be …. The Townsville Stadium Transport Plan

Jamie Durie revisited?

This incomplete, seat-of-the-pants, hard to find document – this is all you’re gunna get for the moment – is a panicked, cobbled-together-with-binder-twine attempt at base left-wing social engineering – it goes by the sinister description of ’educating the public’ – and it is a shining testament to one of the most myopic, inept and incompetent planning failures yet foisted on our poor bloody town.

Perhaps The Magpie is going about this a tad too much, but this whole saga, as chronicled last week, just goes from incredible to unbelievable. And it was easily the most commented on story of the week in these parts. A sampler:

Cantankerous but happy

371 approved

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Submitted on 2019/12/20 at 8:24 am

The stadium transport plan released today proves that the brainless dickheads running this town have not got a clue, what a debacle. If you live just a few km from the stadium in Oonoonba or Idalia, no public transport options and the same for any of the suburbs south of the river, Annandale, Douglas, Wulguru, not a bloody thing, just take your car and add to the mess. Nothing for the Northern beaches either, just take your car and add to the mess, but the fact that none of the buses will run to the new Ogden St bus hub just typifies this place, what a shambles, this place is a joke, I will stay home and watch it on the TV.


16 approved

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Submitted on 2019/12/20 at 2:51 am

Up to you if you publish this one, though I suspect you’re all over it for you blog this week.

Pie, check out the new stadium transport plan in the paper today. On the map it has park n ride, event buses and private courtesy buses pulling up in various locations around the stadium but a glaringly obvious failure to mention the over-rated and over-priced “bus hub” in Ogden Street… does this mean that this will not be utilised at all for game days?? Makes a mockery of the claims in this council release


The Bully back in October claimed that only up to 900 people would use Ogden St according to a draft transport plan so it was included for use at one point??


The (Mostly) Civil Engineer

84 approved

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Submitted on 2019/12/20 at 1:56 pm | In reply to Scientician79.

If you look at the stats from Transport and Main Roads (which I frankly can’t be arsed checking so I am going from memory), people are prepared to routinely walk 1500m to access or from public transport. However, in the tropics that distance is generally dropped to under 1,000m especially in the heat of summer (and drops to zero when it is raining).

The transport plan is an absolute gob-stopping pile of shite which was obviously sketched by someone in Brisbane on the back of a napkin (or lifted from one of the stadiums down there) with no thought for local conditions and no push-back from the supposed local council planning experts.

Better to invest in a bigger tv and fridge than bother trying to get to the “crabpot” (which, as a cobbled together trap sitting in mangroves and full of rotten fish-heads, seems pretty apt).

Everything is an afterthought on this issue.

Someone sent this in, too.


Stadium traffic planner at work.

And No One Is Safe From Kiddy Crims.


“Wonder if the sled will be there when we come back?’

Driving Them Mad

This is going to drive some people nuts, they’ll end up with Battys in their belfry.

Businessman Philip Batty

Businessman Philip Batty

Yup, inveterate council watcher and a man with a sharp eye for sharp practice, Phillip Batty, has been going through THAT budget, and has a few questions. He’s also been looking at the new electoral requirements. Take it away, Phil.

Now onto annual report items. Firstly why has the link to this wonderful work of fiction been removed from the front page of the TCC website?. Do we want less people looking at this by any chance? As you mentioned last week meetings of the Audit Committee presented their Minutes of the meetings to the Governance and Finance Committee PRIOR to actually holding the meeting in the first place.

But it doesn’t matter because our Mayor Mullet is a member of the Governance and Finance Committee so she is on top of all things financial and governance related, isn’t she? Well the Governance Committee met nine times during the reporting year and our Mayor was present at ONLY ONE of them. The Auditor General seems to have missed this “mistake”

Another thing: Why is there no reporting on the “Beneficial Enterprise” the Breakwater Trust, which is the Entertainment Centre, you remember the one where council wrote down the value by $23 million last year and picked up a share of the losses. Seems this year there has been no losses or profits, or income, or expense or anything else????

How did we spend $28,654,000.00 on IT last year? Yep $29 million almost. How can costs and revenue reported in the Quarterly reports change from one report to the next and then not correspond to the final results in the Annual Report? You know the one now hidden in the website so you have to work hard to find it.

On electoral matters, it’s a new ball game now in the post-Belcarra world, so allow me to note the following.

Team Jenny Hill on the facebook page says “Political Party” which would mean they have to be registered and have 500 members. Facebook page was created on the 3rd December 2019 and is clearly a campaign page

The Electoral Commission (QEC) have no such political party registered. From the ECQ

  • Please note, candidates endorsed by a registered political party are not considered a group of candidates and may engage in group campaigning activities without registering with the ECQ. (Team Jenny Hill is NOT registered as a political party)


Nanette Radeck FB page created on the 9th December 2019 clearly a campaign page and lists herself as a “Politician” (foregone conclusion anyone?)

  • If you are a first-time candidate, your disclosure period starts on the day you first publicly announce you are intending to be a candidate. The disclosure period for all candidates ends 30 days after the election

Suzy Batkovic FB page created on 6th December 2019 clearly a campaign page also lists herself as a “Politician” 

  • Conducting group campaigning activities before registering the group with the ECQ could result in financial penalties of up to 100 penalty units (valued at $13,345 as at 1 July 2019).
  • I cannot find any such group registered
  • Only political parties and registered groups will be able to undertake group-like campaigning activities, and there are penalties for groups that are not registered. This enables voters to better know who they are voting for by prohibiting ‘secret’ groups
  • If you nominate as a group, you will need a single dedicated group bank account for all group members. All donations, income and expenditure must be transacted through this single account

Financial Disclosure requirements

The returns should be lodged on the ECQ’s Electronic Disclosure System and must include:

  • all gifts and/or loans received during their disclosure period, and
  • all electoral expenditure incurred between 1 May 2019 and 19 January 2020*.

TEAM JENNY HILL SHIRTS ANYONE? Clearly on display here.

So far according to the ECQ nothing has been donated to Team Jenny Hill.  Apparently.

But Fair’s Fair, A Long Overdue  Kind Word For Our Muddled Mayor.

The ‘Pie has been accused of being too harsh on our hardworking Mullet, and far too scathing in his criticisms, especially when it comes to finances.

Well, OK, The ‘Pie has to admit that Mrs Hill has set an admirable personal economic example, highlighting both recycling and thriftiness instead of mindless consumerism. This is clearly evident in her her personal presentation, where one well maintained ensemble has more miles on it that Apollo 11.

Screen Shot 2019-12-17 at 10.15.08 am Screen Shot 2019-12-21 at 9.39.13 pm Screen Shot 2019-12-21 at 9.36.48 pm

jenny and dog

Jenny Hill and Maury Soards

There’s more but her skill with needle and thread to let things out when needed is to be applauded.

But She Knows Her Core Supporters

There is always a problem when politicians decide to make a joke … some people think they’re serious. Like this from Mayor Mullet’s own FB page.

Jenny boganeceived_1356940157806446

Now Some Flotsam And Jetsam

Top brandscreen Shot 2019-12-17 at 9.53.53 am

Yup that’s about right. Get pissed, crash the Audi and pay for on Amex. repeat.


Here’s something to prove it’s not just The Astonisher. The ‘Pie sent a sternly worded whinge to the New Monthly, explaining that it is accepted journalistic practice that the caption of a photograph should actually refer to the photograph. One imagines the greatly respected Mr Pascoe would not be amused to be named as expensive crim.

Screen Shot 2019-12-20 at 8.56.41 am


Screen Shot 2019-12-21 at 9.39.21 amGoo true …  in the case of The ‘Pie’s granny, if we all ate like she did – missing her mouth completely two times out of three – we’d sure be a lot bloody thinner – and very attractive to sniffy dogs.


It is possibly just The ‘Pie but there’s something about this headline …???

Screen Shot 2019-12-20 at 6.09.50 pm

…and there’s definitely something about this one reported in comments and Twitter.

Holt Screen Shot 2019-12-18 at 3.47.32 pm

oh dear @tsv_bulletin English really is a second language for you isn’t it? Or has there been an invasion of otters?



1 the den of an animal, especially that of an otter.

2 a wood or wooded hill.

Please HALT this crap.


Just saw Trump Junior’s new book.


Before you have a fit of the vapours, this is the book from a better perspective. What were you thinking?



And The Magpie’s new autobiographical book just out.

Screen Shot 2019-12-20 at 6.18.01 pm

This Week, Spare A Thought For Santa

(and why do we never hear of that other reindeer, Venison?)

image003 ten elvises_151314295185955 image002 image006 image007 image008 233041 Screen Shot 2019-12-21 at 9.16.55 am

And in Trumpsylvania, Opinion Is Divided

No, not that way,  everyone knows he’s a dangerous fuckwit, but they are divided along party lines about revealing the fact. 20191217edhan-a Tom Toles Editorial Cartoon - tt_c_c191215.tif 20191221edsuc-a COLOR jd121619dapr cjones12182019 20191217edbbc-a gv122019dapr COLOR 232968 233062_rgb COLOR 20191216edwas-a Tom Toles Editorial Cartoon - tt_c_c191213.tif 232932 232941 sbr121519dapr 233040 sk121919dapr 20191219edbbc-a

And finally.

The ‘Pie offered this week’s bumper edition of the The Nest, because, depending on events, he may have a weekend off next week. Maybe not.  But don’t panic if nothing appears in the inbox, accidental events like that recently have triggered messages of concern. If not, The ‘Pie takes the opportunity to express his gratitude is to all contributors, donors and quipsters who make the hard work worth it with wit, tip-offs and very buoying support … and especially my chum in crime over the years, our talented ‘toonist.



The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. Mike Douglas says:

    Thanks to the Pie , Philip Batty and other commentators for raising questions on T.C.C.,s annual report but there are still items that don’t stack up . Does Mayor Mullet receive an extra allowance for being on the audit committee when she doesn’t show up ?. The Nous report apparently reflected efficiency issues and culling 20% of Council staff would deliver benefits to the ratepayers but if Council payroll overheads arnt dramatically reduced and redundancy costs increased Councils debt where are the benefits as the City looks like shit ?. Merry Christmas to the Pie and family and other commentators including the one, ( who it appears ) may have multiple personalities .

    • Redundant TCC says:

      When I took a redundancy I was told that the position had changed and downsizing was going to benifit the department budget. We had 2 managers, myself and another lady, we had quite a number of staff. 2 managers were sufficient because of the workload but some bean counter decided it can be done with one after the system successfully with 2 the the last 20yrs. Adele young was the mastermind here and if you questioned her you had no chance in the pool of jobs offered. The lady I worked with got the job then took a redundancy 6mths later because it wasn’t working and still isn’t. Lots of grass not being mowed! Now I hear that the same department has, you guessed it, 2 managers there again with no experience like we had. So it was a way to get rid of us. Before I left TCC had around 1600 employees now it’s around 1700 if what I’m told is correct. Because I’m not in the system I couldn’t verify that but lots of my fellow workers continue to tell me how there are more management then ever before. I have no sour feelings I moved on with I might ad a 100k payout. I’m not gloating but alot of people who had been there that long took that sort of money. No wonder TCC is in debt because they paid out all these people then rehired somone different for no net gain. Merry Christmas everyone.

      • 97 Days says:

        I wouldn’t credit Adele Young with being a mastermind. The initial selections for redundancy were made by Jenny. Anything after that was Adele. The slow painful processes. The cold heartless treatment of staff. The micromanagement. If you want to credit Adele with anything, credit her with being a narcissistic, hedonistic, sociopath, who takes delight in watching people suffer. So add sadist to that list.
        But it was Jenny and her little group of advisors who made the decisions on cuts and then handballed it to a woman with no soul to implement. Effectively wiping their hands.

  2. Achilles says:

    (and why do we never hear of that other reindeer, Venison?) The other reindeer’s name was Olive. (its in the song)

  3. Achilles says:

           

    Jingle bells, Jingle bells what a crock of shit,

    We’re Santa’s little helpers, we’ve had enough we quit,

    We do all the bloody work, while he stars in the show,

    So shove your Christmas up your arse,

    Ho Ho Bloody Ho.

  4. Charlie Wulguru. says:

    If my memory serves me correctly isn’t this recently suspended Mayor of Moreton Bay Regional Council, Allan Southerland, the one that Hill teamed up with to smear and discredit the former CEO of TCC, Ray Burton, which eventually led to his resignation. This thing keeps some fine company doesn’t she.

  5. Frequent flyer says:

    Cannot farewell Jenna Cairney without reminding her that it has been her failure to call out and expose corruption in this city that has left we citizens in the mire and Townsville deep in debt. Good riddance Jenna, Hobart’s loss is Townsville’s gain.

  6. J jones says:

    That purple dress………..

  7. Critical says:

    Got asked by a visiting youngster from Cairns (yes, that city again) if Townsville had a Christmas tree as they wanted to go and see it. I had to be honest and say that I didn’t think so and got told that Cairns has a beautiful tree near the Lagoons and there was plenty of coloured lights. Can anyone tell me if we do have a city Christmas tree or do all we get these days is a few fairy lights on the Victoria Bridge. If this is all we get then either the city is broke; the politically correct do-gooders have got their way within TCC; Council has lost the plot and don’t really care or a combination of these.

    • The Magpie says:

      Interesting point you make there about council finances affecting such annual things like a public Christmas tree – don’t know if there is one, didn’t notice one in the old mall area yesterday, or seeing Mayor Mullet muttering the usual bromides at its ‘turn on’ in the Astonisher. So the big question is what are the fireworks going to be like this year, and in how many locations? Personally, The ‘Pie would be happy if there were none, it’s probably age but the bloody displays have become tedious an d a great waste of money under the circumstances … unless we’re to do a Sydney Harbour … and even there, the annoying fussbudgets fun police are calling for them to be cancelled permanently.

    • City dweller says:

      Was at a street party at nth shore Friday night. The tree is at the local skate park next to the pool. The fake one. And the pine tree in bulletin square has been decorated. The same one les Tyrell was condemned about for doing the exact same thing as the mayor now. WTF is the purpose of putting the city tree in a skate park, I guess more people will see it then in the CBD. Luckily it hasn’t been burnt down by the kids yet.

    • NQ Gal says:

      There is a tree at Bulletin Square. Possibly didn’t see it as the bottom 6 foot has a barrier around it – no doubt to stop people from nicking the lights.

  8. Alahazbin says:

    Going on from discussion in last weeks blog re staff to advise TCC & TEL on events for the stadium.
    Wouldn’t Dolan have all those names soughted?

    • The Magpie says:

      Well, there’s little doubt Dolan already does advise on more than just that, but does anybody listen to him? He may walk the dark side but he’s no dill and The ‘Pie will not believe that he had anything to with the traffic plan, that’s for sure. But yes, he’d probably have some input. But reckon Mooney might have a spare Labor mate stashed away somewhere needing a handy gig.

      • Bing4814 says:

        The day after the first game there will be an awful lot of finger pointing and accusations until someone puts their hand up to be the scapegoat. The local bus drivers and company controllers will cop the brunt of the local criticism and probably wear the blame only because they are the face of the transport plan. Supposed to be at the lap of the people in charge in this case stadium Qld. Time will tell. The first game getting folks too and from will set the tone and benchmarks for the rest of 2020. Basically the planners will be going in blind no idea of the outcomes until about midnight the first game when the reports start coming in. I was part of a planning submission at this site in 2009 where my then manager myself and planners from head office showed the timings to get 15000 people too and from the game from Kelso wulguru Douglas bushland beach pallarenda taking in suburbs on the way to along each route. Charging patrons $9.50 one way $15 return. This was considered a special service and no government subsidies were offered/provided. Therefore it was a business offer by the company which had to make a profit to work unlike southern venues where bus and train travel was part of entry price to the relevant stadium. No further payments required. This is transport policy at all Brisbane and Gold Coast venues at that time. Our planning showed 65% of planned crowd to the game on time and the final 35% within 45 minutes of game starting. With a game finishing at 10.30 pm 40 % cleared from the stadium by midnight. Total clearance 2 am. Unless freight trains were servicing port at the time clearance time would blow out plus 30 minutes per train(no alternative port access line available in 2008 when planning started) at that time there was planned 5000 parking bays on site.(dropped from current stadium) 15000 was what Qld Transport /council/NRL asked us to plan for based on crowd averages of over 20 000 at the then Dairy Farmers Stadium. Bottom line we were given two location options at the time. Current site, and Showgrounds redevelopment. We showed current site almost impossible with only two exits. Showgrounds was best place with four exit points. Maybe James and I were wrong but we are still comfortable with our presentation to the then powers that be as we were ten years ago but the new planner may be cleverer than us who knows until the first game. I’m prepared to say I was wrong. But I’ll see if I get to say “we told you so” after all. I’m just an old retired bus driver so we will see.

        • City dweller says:

          Oh no bing you have just thrown jenny under the bus big time. We all remember what happened to Mooney once that idea of redevelopment of the showgrounds went public. Chris Condon went apeshit and advertised strong against voting for Mooney. Let’s hope mullet makes the same mistake. Come on same more bread and butter issues for you but still nothing! By the way pie, I see in your pictures today that theres a pink elephant standing outside of the white elephant along with a bunch of nodding cockatoos. Yes that dress!!!!!

          • The Magpie says:

            Thanks for the free fashion commentary, Yves.

          • Critical says:

            I’m wondering what the Townsville Show Association, via Chris Condon, is demanding to be paid for use of the show grounds on game days or any other time parking is required for an event being held at the Stadium.
            One thing for certain, Condon will be demanding big $$$$. Who is going to pay for this fee and the cost of the buses, poor bloody idiot taxpayer I assume, the full cost should be part of the ticket price.

          • The Magpie says:

            And why shouldn’t Mr Condon do exactly that? He has his own management responsibilities and he shouldn’t be and isn’t obliged to risk his own apparently efficient management program because of the incompetence, greed and political grandstanding of others.

        • NQ Gal says:

          Complaints will fall on deaf ears. If you have ever been to a concert at the old QE 2 stadium in Brisbane, it is a nightmare getting in and out. Same problems every single time – minimal on site parking, no train station close by and not enough buses to shift the masses.

          • The Magpie says:

            That makes the Townsville Stadium planner even more culpable if they had such an established venue with the problems which will face Total Tools Townsville stadium, and didn’t learn from them.

  9. Why is it so? says:

    Who is paying the electricity bill for the “Crabpot”? It is lit up like a grotesque christmas tree every night. That is one giant carbon footprint, but I suppose it is great for Ergon profits and thus great revenue raising for Anna Pile of Shite to spend on the south east.

  10. Frequent flyer says:

    There is a giant Christmas tree in the CBD diagonally opposite the Cowboys Leagues Club, but it’s a disgrace. Hardly decorated at all and the few tired baubles hanging from the branches have been trotted out for years and years. But the mayor’s Christmas appeal is going so well she’s giving young singles donations for parties. What’s next, free restaurant vouchers?

  11. Hee Haw says:

    And the astonisher didn’t consider the Pie for the most influential person in Townsville, well I have to argue they were wrong.

    Saturday, and Nanette’s facebook page says she is a “Politician” and by 10 am on Sunday morning after the Pie blogged about it and hey presto Nanette’s facebook page now says “Political Candidate” now that is influence.

    • The Magpie says:

      Well, not wanting to unduly continue this pillow plumping, but it was all Phil Batty’s research, The ‘Pie just published it.

  12. Non Aligned Worker says:

    Crab pot Stadium on budget and on time?
    I thought the original budget including add on costs etc was $220 mill.
    Came in at $290 Mill excluding traffic plans and access to the ground.
    Add in the walkway, pedestrian bridge probably going north of $350 million.
    Glad we (the tax payers and rent payers) can afford it .
    I would call that a cost blow out if I was in charge of the project.
    Seems like no one cares about the original budget.
    I wonder how the season tickets selling?

    • No More Dredging says:

      NAW, according to Q. Dept of State Development in February 2017:

      The North Queensland Stadium site will be located within the Townsville City Waterfront Priority Development Area adjacent to the Townsville Central Business District, between Ross Creek and Saunders Street.
       Projectfunding
      With a total project budget of $250 million, North Queensland Stadium is a joint project of:
      ∙ Queensland Government ($140 million)
      ∙ Australian Government ($100 million)
      ∙ Townsville City Council (land and enabling
      ∙ National Rugby League ($10 million).
      The stadium forms part of the Townsville City Deal signed in December 2016.

      Not sure what was meant by TCC’s contribution of “enabling infrastructure.” Just for the Magpie, earlier in the statement the stadium project was referred to as “iconic”.

    • Alahazbin says:

      Don’t why all the outrage about the PM being out of the country while all the fires are raging.
      Premier Puddleduck has been on a cruise since Dec 16. Nobody complaining about that.

  13. Dave of Kelso says:

    Re the stadiun transport plan, or lack there of; any one remember the very first Townsville Skyshow. Better than any that followed. Throughout the day most of Townsville came to the Strand. After the show everybody went to leave at the same time. Nth Ward was gridlocked for a couple of hours and the CBD and Belgium Gardens not much better. We took about 3 hours to get home. It seems the Walker St Brains Trust has failed to learn from this memorable event.

    • The Magpie says:

      That was a blockbuster, truly memorable, but bit of a tough call to compare it with an already-built structure – The Strand – hosting a one-off crowd puller with other values 24/7, 365, and a structure – the stadium – planned from scratch on vacant ground with a guaranteed number of events … certainly a dozen per year … and not take the transport factor one of the central considerations. This clusterfuck is going to have a disheartening ripple effect on the poor bloody businesses that have suffered for so long under the the populist socialism of this Walker Street regime … well… one person really, the others just imitate her and couldn’t find their own arses with a mirror and two hands.

    • Alahazbin says:

      Dave, They also built an entertainment centre down the end of a road, one way, one way out.

      • The Magpie says:

        With plenty of parking, alongside the ET, at the ferry terminal car par and the Dudley Do Nothings car park. Along with a pleasant tropical stroll if one needed to park on the Strand.

    • The (Mostly) Civil Engineer says:

      I was speaking to a Sydney colleague about transport planning and he mentioned that Sydney Olympic Park can move up to 150,000 people out and onto cabs, busses and trains in an hour.

      Here we will struggle to clear 25% of that number in two or three hours.

      Just shows what can be done by smart people and solid thinking.

      By the way – wishing all the other “nesters” a wonderful festive season.

      • The Magpie says:

        If you’re talking about footy games, they could only wish for 37,500 punters through the turnstiles at Total Tools. And without mega stars, which will be about as rare as rocking horse shit, that would be wishful thinking. But your underlying point is well taken, and felicitations for the holiday break to you too, Barely (The ‘Pie thinks your too optimistic using (mostly) in your title.)

  14. Cantankerous but happy says:

    Merry Xmas to you Pie and to all the nesters, rest up, drink lots and gear up for a big 2020.

  15. Alahazbin says:

    Tucked away in the corner of page 12 of today’s Astonisher. “Bulletin hunts for new editor”. Well what else could they say! It’s not like she has a list of achievements to her name.

    • The Magpie says:

      Well, The Magpie has been hunting the last four iditors, why shouldn’t they join in the fun.

      Cairney’s departure does pose a question an age old proposition that ‘everyone brings some joy into other peoples’ lives … some by arriving, others by leaving.’ Your choice.

      • Achilles says:

        Dictionary definition of hunt. https://www.dictionary.com/browse/hunt
        [ huhnt ]

        verb (used with object)
        to chase or search for (game or other wild animals) for the purpose of catching or killing.
        to pursue with force, hostility, etc., in order to capture (often followed by down): They hunted him down and hanged him.
        verb (used without object)
        to engage in the pursuit, capture, or killing of wild animals for food or in sport.
        to make a search or quest (often followed by for or after).
        an act or practice of hunting game or other wild animals.

      • Alahazbin says:

        Pie, It could only be a little piece like that hidden in the corner of a page. After all there is no list of achievements to mention, is there.

        • The Magpie says:

          The Astonisher felt obligated to at least mention their dwindling number of readers of a change will in fact affect them (and no one else, like mhew, who cares?) because they read about in The Magpie last Friday and The ‘Pie got it from the excellent media site Mumbrella on Thursday. Highlighting the cynical news policy of musical editors chairs doesn’t do anything for the credibility of the paper, but why are they worried, the stable door of that bolted horse has been swinging gently in the breeze for years now.

  16. L Berry says:

    Just back from Brisbane. Took my aged mother into the city. Those bloody e-scooters are a scourge. Mostly ridden (inexpertly) by millennial soy-boy Little Lord Fauntleroys with man buns and attitude. No respect for anyone else using the footpath. I am told that the maximum allowable speed is 25 kph. Bloody dangerous.

  17. Critical says:

    Pie, question your perception of Chris Condons efficient management program, like the majority of things in Townsville, he had to get goverment grants in the last couple of years to refurbish the toilets and a couple of other buildings. If his management program was efficient then he would have been making the relevant financial provision for these and other infrastructure works in each years budget. Also remember that this is an underutilized piece of inner city land on which the Townsville Show Society pays no rates which is poorly managed, just looks at the perimeter fences etc.

    • The Magpie says:

      It’s state land, it’s not Condon’s personal property. But your seemingly personal spray is totally irrelevant to the question of whether he should charge for car parking for the stadium. Anyway, it’s this sort of political circle jerking that may well see the government direct him about what to do.

      In the not so long run, despite fierce resistance from a number of quarters, Mr Condon himself being one, progress will soon catch up with what The ‘Pie agrees is under-utilised prime land … and you can bet there’s gunna be one of the town’s biggest shit fights ever (and that’s saying something) if the government unloads it to private enterprise.

      • Critical says:

        Fight happening between Cairns Regional Council and Show Association atm over lease extension for show grounds. Apparently Council is unhappy with the maintenance of infrastructure and the way the place is run with council wanting greater use and community access to the show grounds and have suggested perhaps moving the show to an alternative site so that the this site can be developed to realise it’s full community usage potential.

  18. Cantankerous but happy says:


    Seems like this bloke has nailed it, Townsvilles economy and the populist socialism of Walker St as you referred to it Pie, if only the Astonisher could be this honest.

    • The Magpie says:

      Suddenly, The Magpie and his merry band don’t feel quite so alone.

    • No More Dredging says:

      Cranky, this guy, Dr Marcus Smith, is a blow-in. He says, “I don’t know what metrics the town’s leaders use, but they are not conventional ones.” Well of course they don’t use “conventional” metrics. Townsville has just suffered the most catastrophic flood in its history. The newest suburbs were smashed. The biggest private employer (Queensland Nickel) has gone broke and sacked the workforce. Half the rest of the town is absolutely reliant on public service, university or defence force incomes. It has always (last 50 years) been thus. Socialist? Yeah, right! What would Joh B-P have done?

      • The Magpie says:

        Shit, Dredger, did you have to bring up Joh, now The ‘Pie won’t get a moments peace over the holidays, blast you.

        Your comment is the usual convoluted concoction, which in fact reinforces EXACTLY what Smith is saying. And a ‘blow-in’? What do you know about this ‘guy’, if you’re going to try (unsuccessfully) to bag him, best to let us all know what you know about him.

        And your talking utter tripe in simple terms of English when you challenge Smith’s quoted statement. ‘Conventional’ are the basic established rules that cover contingencies as well as givens. Talk about two bob each way.

        Your really are … oh, nothing, Merry Christmas.

      • Fishframe says:

        Dr Marcus Smith is not a blow in. He’s the real deal and sticking his neck on the line to speak candidly. Follow his posts, worth your while.

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        Forget the words tosser, which obviously you have trouble grasping, just have a look at the graph, what a damming set of numbers that condemn the leaders of this town to first class bullshit status, failures one and all, and to drag out Yabulu Nickel refinery some 4 years later is just reaching for shit, but it proves that Townsville is full of people like you, just happy to stick your head up your arse and ignore the facts and come up with pissy excuses time and time again, bring out your special Townsville calculator to distort the facts, you are just delusional.

        • The Magpie says:

          Good to see you’ve caught the season of goodwill spirit early, Cankers. Merry Christmas and more where that came from in 2020.

        • No More Dredging says:

          Cranky, you should read the words about Townsville in the link you supplied: “you will see a socialist economy dependent totally on southern funds.”

          A month ago Dr Smith was calling for more government spending – exactly the opposite of what he and you say Townsville needs if we want to wean the town off government spending:

          “CCIQ Chief Economist, Dr Marcus Smith said the state government who now contends with crisis level confidence indicators, needs to provide immediate relief through targeted spending that supports demand in the near term and ensure that industry sees all levels of government in cooperation.
          “The solutions to improving sentiment involve clearly articulated policy initiatives, greater governmental coordination at all levels and encouragement of private sector projects.
          “Record bankruptcy levels in the state reflect the difficulties of a global economy where trade wars between Australia’s major trading partners have only served to add another layer of political uncertainty on an already stressed private sector,” Dr Smith said.

          We could be on the bones of our arse or we could be victims of a socialist economy providing “immediate relief.” Is that a choice?

          • The Magpie says:

            What are you on about, were did you dredge that up? Seems very consistent in the underlying analysis. And like a good old fashioned leftie, you love playing the man while pretending to play the ball.

          • Cantankerous but happy says:

            I don’t see the word Townsville in your quoted comments Dredger, I don’t have an issue with Govt spending, reciprocated by private investment which compounds the effect of the spend, but I don’t think he is advocating spending in Townsville, where zero private investment would mean no real stimulus of any kind, I think Govt should spend, just in places where it is most effective, and that is not Townsville in its current mess, lots of other places where you get more bang for your buck.

  19. Bentley says:

    One has to wonder if getting sunlight to the TCC jenital area might fix some of the crap we are having to suffer.

  20. Bentley says:

    Sorry, that should read genital.

  21. Frequent flyer says:

    I have set myself the task of following Jenny Hill to the new stadium for Elton John’s retirement benefit – just to see if she actually uses her own transport plan. Can someone please volunteer to do the same with the 3 State Govt stooges?

  22. Fishframe says:

    Re Stadium car parking. Over the years, my Qld Rail buddies have told me they were warned off the current stadium site area by Management due to toxic contaminated land concerns. Apparently they were not even allowed to dump old machinery there. I am surprised the Stadium was allowed by just ‘concreting’ over the ground. In comparison, the old timber mill behind Hyde Park centre has been vacant for many years due to similar contaminated land issues. My understanding is the environmental report says the owners need to undertake removal of all topsoil (1 or 2 metres from memory) and send to Melbourne for decontamination treating before any development can take place. Hence, has sat there unused. I wonder if this is a broader concern with the land around the stadium being suitable for car parks? I don’t know, just speculating, but there’s heaps of available land and it’s not that much more to make it a car park unless there’s a problem we don’t know about. Merry Christmas Pie and Pie Fans.

    • The Magpie says:

      Crikey, I’ve got fans now? This is Citizen Journalists Central, The ‘Pie is just the Iditor.

    • Dave Sth says:

      Am told the same story about the old meatworks site in Idalia from some who did the earthworks there. Apparently they skimped on the backfill & no-one from the council pulled them up. Apart from the flood risk was the reason I kept right away from that area when buying…

    • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

      One of the usual remediations for contaminated land is “capping” where either a minimum thickness of clay is added OR an impervious concrete layer. Concrete isn’t usually the first option because of the expense, but it can be used.

      However, unusual to use bitumen as it is not a complete seal, and highly unusual to see open garden beds which allow contaminants in the substrate to percolate up onto the surface.

      PS: thanks for the image of JENITALIA HILL, I no longer need breakfast.

      • The Magpie says:

        So Mullet becomes a sort of Jenny Craig, only using aversion therapy.

      • No More Dredging says:

        Barely, there’s another method for dealing with contaminated sites I have seen used twice in TSV – at one or more of those high rise residential blocks on the old railway yards off Flinders St west and at an old servo on Charters Towers Rd. The ground was dug up about two meters deep, some sort of bacterial affliction was applied to the mounds which were turned a few times over weeks (or months). Apparently the bacteria break down hydrocarbons and when they are down to a certain level and compliant with the regulations the dirt can be levelled and the site declared uncontaminated. Maybe doesn’t work for all contaminants but seemed to be OK for certain hydrocarbons.

        • The Magpie says:

          And The Magpie remains firmly of the opinion this whole contamination issue of CERTAIN sites is a nanny state fairytale used for political purposes … and a convenient raft for rants from the precious ones amongst us. It’s a wonder ‘site contamination’ hasn’t been linked to climate change.

          • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

            You mean it’s not? Bugger me.

          • No More Dredging says:

            ‘Pie, I remember when issues were raised about the old railways site off Flinders St West. A particular part of it was said to be a historic dumping ground for crap from the railway workshops – whether sump oils (benzenes), lead paints, pesticides (contaminated with dioxins) and potentially PCBs. All that shit is BAD. At least some effort was made to remediate the worst parts of it although I have no idea who oversaw the process and signed off on the effectiveness of it. I recall it was quite an innovation at the time. With the old servo on Charters Towers Road it makes some sense that there would be hydrocarbons (including bad benzene shit) abounding after 50(?) years of slap happy storm water management and grease and oil changes and the excavated fill being carted around the town to who knows what building site. And let’s not go to the matter of airport fire fighting foam (PFOS) and its impact on groundwater.

            Judging by the way the ‘nanny state’ operates at sites like the Port (recent airborne lead pollution proven by the state’s own regulator), QN (first 20 years dumping by pipeline straight into Halifax Bay) and continuous sea dumping contaminated maintenance dredging spoil into Cleveland Bay, I’d say it was hands off, look the other way, rather than sticking their nose in.

    • Bing4814 says:

      I guess in years to come when glowing babies start getting born an astute lawyer will putt two and two together come up with a class action lawsuit and our great grandchildren will be stuck with the payout bill soon after the final payment is made on the stadium by their parents. Never fear. It’s only tax payer money and plenty more where that comes from. On page one of the politicians guide to flea sing the voters I’m told. (Tongue in cheek comment. A parody. Not to be taken seriously. Even though it’s true every other day)

  23. Dave of Kelso says:

    Dear ‘Pie,
    Wishing you a merry Christmas and good fortune next year and beyond. Thanks for your work.

  24. I’ll be plucked says:

    Compliments of the season to you Pie and readers, but NOT the following: Mullet, Harpic, Private Cupcake, O’Rort, or the Qld Premier – these people should be castigated and ridiculed for what they are doing to Townsville.

    • The Magpie says:

      ‘Should be’? You bin readin’ this blog, mate. Really. And that is ‘castigated’ is it, not an error?

      Best of the season to you, too, clucky plucky.

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      Unfair Plucker, Mullet and friends should get, in 2020, what they really and truly deserve!

  25. Old Tradesman says:

    Merry Xmas Pie and to all the feathered friends in the blog. Get revitalised and lets kick some arse in 2020.

  26. Non Aligned Worker says:


    Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive,gender neutral celebration of the summer solstice holiday practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of our choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
    I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2019,but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee .

    By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
    This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.
    It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting.
    It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/him or others, is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.

    The wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
    Best Regards (without prejudice)
    Name withheld (Privacy Act).
    Notwithstanding the aforegoing …
    ‘Pie Have a great Christmas and a Happy New Year

  27. Kenny Kennett says:

    I had reason to phone the TCC the other day. I noticed the voice answering system and didn’t recognise the voice. I could be wrong but it sounded like an out of town voice and knowing the way the Mullet spends our money, I’ll bet it was through a Labor mate down south. Again, the Mullet spending local (not). The likes of Johnny Hubbard could’ve done it and kept the money locally. I also can’t wait to see what’s in store with our March rates notices. With rates due just prior to the local election, there’s no way the Mullet will do the responsible thing and increase rates to try and get the debt down. Standby for the bells and whistles or a very early or late delivery of rates notices.

  28. Grumpy says:

    Scott Stewart, you are a liar and an unashamed opportunist. “Working for months” to get Horne’s next fight here. Nothing like jumping on the current populist bandwagon. He only won his last fight a week ago, and suddenly you make this “working in the background” bullshit statement.

    It’s time to go you imbecilic slug.

  29. Alahazbin says:

    Talking to a former Townsville First councillor yesterday. They are re-grouping.

  30. Astonished says:

    The Astonisher never fails to astonish.
    On page 11 on Monday there was a photo of a woman in a santa hat with her hands full of prawns. The caption read: “Matilda, 12 and Sarah Wilson at Castletown. Local shopping centres around Townsville are starting to get busy for the Christmas period”. The caption clearly was meant to go with the photo of 2 young girls on the opposite page. Strewth, it even spilled into an ad below for Western Suburbs Veterinary Clinic (hope they’re getting a refund!).
    The online edition is so out of date that its still carrying a story about the reopening of a children’s playground which was damaged by the flood – more than two months after it was originally posted on 23 October!
    Editor Jenna Cairney’s promotion to the Hobart Mercury once again demonstrates News Ltd’s policy of rewarding poor performance.

    • The Magpie says:

      The preponderance of sloppy and often just plain ignorant errors occur in the area you’re talking about, Astonished, which shows that the paper doesn’t even believe its own rationale … those news ‘snacks’ – clickbait in other words – are one of the single most important drawcards to entice and recruit readers to click through … after they’ve subscribed, of course. Yet this vital area is left to either ill-educated, unsupervised (i.e. subbing) kiddies or someone in Mumbai or Manila whose first language sure ain’t English. The regular incorrect captioning is simply the sloppy results of overwork of the under skilled. No wonder the paper won’t release online subscriptions to their advertisers … or if when they do, they are straight-out inflated lies.

      Townsville really does deserve to be better than just a backwater cash cow for a greedy global mogul.

  31. Count de Money says:

    Sorry Pie, have to disagree with you about Pascoe. He is part of the finance systems white shoe brigade. Pascoe always talks the economy even though it is failing. He always talks up Wall Street and it’s supposed record profits, which is BS, all imaginary figures. Wall Street is a Ponzi scheme. Pascoe always talks up our banks and how good they are. I call BS, they are nothing but thieving conscienceless grubs. Pascoe is the poster boy for Australia’s media in the financial realm. Fake media.
    Let me guess, Pascoe would probably also say that the Pentagon manages military spending in a clear and transparent manner and that Fort Knox still contains actual gold bars??

    • The Magpie says:

      It doesn’t?!?!? Bugger, there goes the working holiday with the boyz from Rasmussen.

    • The Magpie says:

      If what you say is correct, comrade, then he is indeed respected. No one hets the big tick of approval from the big end of town than one who doesn’t get caught.

  32. Polythene Pam says:

    Christmas Greetings and never let it be said that Pam is not without an eye for absolute trivia at Christmas – have just listened to Stephen Merchant on Desert Island Discs and his claim to fame pre The Office and pre Extras is to be the bloke in the cricket cap standing to the right of the woman dancing on the shoulders of her boyfriend in the clip of Pulp performing “Babies” at Glastonbury back in 1994 – see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unhadq2gMRs at approximately 7:31 – Merry Christmas everyone

  33. The Magpie says:

    Oh, so you want trivia, eh? Try this then.

    The ‘Pie spotted this in his net travels this morning.

    Johnson socialises with Evgeny Lebedev at a party along with his sister Rachel Johnson.

    The ‘Pie was struck by the familial likeness, nose, eyes, of course the hair … but especially the teeth. It’s uncanny almost, both sport two top prominent front teeth, both flanked by a couple of dwarf’s and then identical incisors.

    If something untoward dastardly accident befall this pair, you wouldn’t need to be a CSI smartarse to verify identities. They could swap dentures without the slightest discomfort, and given the weird proclivities of the upper class English trash, wouldn’t be surprised if they did, ‘just for a jolly wheeze, it will make mummy so cross.’ Tee hee hee.

    Anyway, should be easy to verify the identity of anyone claiming to be one of BoJo’s kids, of which he says he has had ‘six or seven, I think’, but he has no idea where they are.

  34. The Third Reader says:

    Christmas greetings and best wishes for the season ‘Pie. Another brilliant year of keeping the bastards honest, and covering the stories the others won’t or don’t. Thankyou for what you do both for us nesters, with the exposing of the lies and incompetence of the clowns running our Town. Looking forward to 2020.Merry Xmas to all, except the Mullet, I don’t like her.

  35. Pineapple Head says:

    Barnaby Joyce has completely lost the plot and gone on Twitter venting about Slygod’s and how he wants the Government out of his life. This bloke is a complete fruitcake. He has also broken the Governments 2016 policy about public servants posting things to social media regarding the Government, it’s agencies or anything political. Somebody please give Barnaby some lithium and a labotomy and put him, and ya, out of our misery!

    • The Magpie says:

      Yup, lost it completely, and gone down the Folau path of ratbaggery, when he posted a video of himself to Twitter on Christmas Eve saying Australians are “fools” who will “get nailed” unless they acknowledge there’s a “higher authority” that needs to be respected.

      He’ll find a home and sympathetic ears among this mob of pious hooligans.

      • Pineapple Head says:

        Interesting how Barnowl Joyce and Scomo are talking about their ‘higher sources’ etc etc. My thought quite simply is; if that is what these blokes think/believe, why don’t they resign from politics as they can’t fix the problems, only God can?? Oh yes, I forgot, the lure of money and narcissism is their driving force. How silly of me!! Complete hypocrites they are. I wonder if The Mullet will try that trick next – point to the sky and say that she has been appointed by a higher source??

        • The Magpie says:

          Yeah, love to be there when he’s squirming before God concerning the seventh commandment and the third deadly sin ‘…but, God mate, she had such big tits and an arse to burn for …’. ‘Good to see you know where this is going, Barnaby.’

  36. Woodduck says:

    Merry Christmas to you and your family pie

  37. The Magpie says:

    Now tell he isn’t completely barking mad, a foaming lunatic.


    Look we’ve all got this wrong. We shouldn’t be making fun of him, he is -seriously – a very sick man in need of help. Allowing him to go on with out the help he so urgently needs is just plain heartless.

    • Pineapple Head says:

      There is definitely something dangerous being put in the Politicians Koolaid. It’s frightening – Trump the orange Oompa Loompa, Joyce the peeled beetroot, Scomo speaking in tongues!!! WTF??

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      Careful please,
      You are talking about someone appointed be God.

      Given all that is Trump, it begs the question, which God?

  38. Bing4814 says:

    Merry Christmas (can I still say that without offending someone somewhere?) to the pie and all his followers. May 2020 be the best for you and yours.

  39. The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

    Two items for the “thanks Jenny” list:

    Thanks for making my yard look great compared to any of the council controlled open spaces or roads around town – you make me feel much better about myself.

    (from a friend) The Aitkenvale Activation Precinct which has seen Thea activation only of abandoned buildings, graffiti and crime, and a ghetto mentality.

  40. Dave of Kelso says:

    The Thank-you Jenny List.

    Thank-you Jenny for giving me a greater appreciation for my friends in this town.

    If not for them, and the love of my back yard, such as it is, since 1976, I would be off like a burning boot.

  41. The Magpie says:

    “CALLING ALL READERS: The ‘Pie is inviting your pics of similar problems around the city. Email to email hidden; JavaScript is required. with subject line Tatty Townsville.

    “The most interesting thing about this photograph in the Bulletin (to pointlessly ‘illustrate’ that rain maybe be on the way) is THE GRASS.
    This is THE STRAND, our premier attraction for those tourists we do get, and until recently, it deservedly received five star treatment from council in terms of upkeep. The picture is evidence that management neglect of vital maintenance by this council is sliding dramatically across all basic services (except the garbos … well done, you chaps and chapettes, especially over Christmas). That that grass was allowed to grow that long (with automatic council watering, no doubt) is unforgivable for a council claiming it is doing its job. This may appear to be a small matter of neglect, but on the adage about acorns and mighty oaks, it is just a glimpse of grandstanding thought bubbles being used to distract from what can only be dire financial times in Walker Street.

    Would NEVER. have happened under Mooney or Tyrell.

  42. The Stockman says:

    The entire city is a shambles.

  43. The Stockman says:

    You better make sure there’s plenty of storage space in that email box of yours Pie – prepare for a shitload of “tatty Townsville” images coming your way.

  44. Critical says:

    So they want to upgrade the lights at Riverway Stadium but guess what, because the council is broke and in the expected Townsville fashion, it won’t happen until council gets an Australian/Queensland government grant. I wonder what bullshit about outcomes for the taxpayer and Townsville ratepayers and how these outcomes will be measured and evidenced will be written into any grant applications made for funding for any lighting upgrade by Council.

  45. The Magpie says:

    Not so subliminal advertising at its best. Matt Merren seems to suggest that there will be a thrilling climax AFTER you have enjoyed his excellent fare, and toddled off home .

    But the line should read:


  46. Despair says:

    This do-nothing council is all quiet about the Hive development on the Strand after announcing it in the paper many months ago. No doubt they ruined the plan as it involves private money being invested in the town and they can’t control that.

    • The (Barely) Civil Engineer says:

      The Hive, along with the froth and bubble North Rail Yards development, seem to have fallen off a cliff.

      Sad that the visioneers at Council, and our glorious mayor, seem to judge everyone else based on their lack of basic intellect. Some of us have memories longer than their goldfish-span ones.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      There is no money in Townsville, none of these developers have any notable sums of money to fund themselves, that’s why all of these projects are hybrid with some sort of public component incorporated, the developer is hoping to snag some govt $$ to fund a portion of the build and then leverage private investment off that, but even then Townsville struggles to get the private investor looking this way, and when you look at the rank amateurs running this town you can understand why.

      • The Magpie says:

        Well maybe, but in fairness, there doesn’t seem to any begging bowl out for public money in the report on this redevelopment project by the Carey Group. It’s a reheated concept that has been tentatively floated before, but could lead the way for other allied developments if it comes to reality – like conversions of other buildings to reasonably priced student accommodation to service the growing university presence in the CBD.

      • Mike Douglas says:

        Cantankerous but happy ! . Invested in 2 capital raises on Townsville purchases and both were over subscribed from out of town SMSF investors . No issues raising $ for the Ville based on % return and capital growth . Most Commercial is below replacement costs .

        • Cantankerous but happy says:

          Name them Mike, because I see every project in this town, proposed, commenced or dead in the water, I see every single one and there is nothing of note on the planner for Townsville except a couple of very small projects under $10 million that’s it, so I would love to know what these over prescribed projects are. If you are talking about buying existing buildings then that is irrelevant, buying existing properties is nothing but churn, no value add, no job creation, we are talking about development and construction, real value adding, real job creation, and Townsville is getting very very little, you are reading too much of the drivel we get in the real estate section of the Astonisher.

          • The Magpie says:

            Hey, don’t knock that churn, Cankers, maybe no jobs, maybe no value ad, but hey, made blokes like Richard Ferry and just about every other real estate urger so regularly quoted with cheery optimism in the Astonisher very well off indeed.

          • Mike Douglas says:

            Cantankerous but happy , the proposed Carey development was purchased then developed , Flinders Lane was bought then developed , tiny mountain , norqeb building , the Ville , the list goes on and on , including the T+G building , new ATO building and commercial upgrades . You see every project in this town including proposed ?. Let’s see how it plays out .

          • No More Dredging says:

            Hey Cranky, if you are really in the know, what’s the low-down on the Malaysian equestrian thing at Bluewater?

          • Cantankerous but happy says:

            Mike really? I am talking major construction projects and you are talking garden sheds, time to lift the threshold of being impressed, to a tad above pissant status please if you can, you are starting to sound like one of the Dudley’s,
            Dredger re the horse farm of whatever the fuck it is at Bluewater, all piss and wind so far, surprise surprise, nothing submitted to council and nothing to the EPA, but I only get involved in quantifiable projects, not someone’s unfunded brain farts, best ask Mike or one of the Dudley’s about any of those.

          • No More Dredging says:

            Cranky, if today’s TBully story is anywhere near accurate (yes, that could be an ask) does the “2020” DoubleTree hotel between the stadium and Tom Aikens overpass meet your “tad above pissant status” standard? Years ago on the Skyscraper blog a commenter wrote:

            ” I still struggle to see the commercial viability at this location, it is over a km walk to Palmer St and mall and 2km from the Strand, 12 games of footy a year and a few days for the V8’s but that’s it, considering Townsville has an occupancy rate under 60% its a big commitment.”

            Looks like someone in the trade is ready to invest some real dollars. And the credit will go to . . . .

          • Cantankerous but happy says:

            Yes Dredger, that is a solid commitment and a good project for the city if it proceeds, as yet no contractor announced, no detailed spec so that one sits in the doubtful column and the March start date is interesting timing and made just for the Mullets benefit, so expect to see the gold shovels, that awful pink dress and cameras sometime in March, but a sod turning does not a project make, that relies on firm contracts in place, and I haven’t seen or heard of one yet.

          • The Magpie says:

            And with the business partner of Mullet Whisperer Dolan Hayes a key player in all this with Focus Pacific, one imagines timing is crucial.

        • Fishframe says:

          I’d suspect SMSF will not be as prominent now that almost every bank will no longer partake in LRBA’s and SMSF’s are under a lot more scrutiny from an Audit perspective. SMSF investors were the ‘wood-ducks’ of the property development scene for way too long.

  47. Pissed off!! Again says:

    This has happened twice now in the last couple of weeks. Taken a trip to the hearveys range dump is just fucking ridiculous now. Today they only accept cash, no eftpost and another long trip to Stuart. Same excuse as last time. The phone lines are down. Well it must only be the dump because I have a relative in my Margaret drive in Ringwood and there landline hasn’t got any problems. You asked about pictures of what TCC arnt doing well this dump is a classic example of money wasted and not providing the service. Nothing on social media either.

    • The Magpie says:

      Pics next time, please. Lots being sent in to Tacky Townsville file, which The ‘Pie is working out the best way to run it.
      pics of council neglect to email hidden; JavaScript is required

    • Count de Money says:

      Think about it -‘landlines down’ = cash only = anyone who doesn’t ask for a receipt is basically handing over cash to the he staff! Now, I’m not saying there is a rort going on here but hey, I’ve seen it before….

      • Hee Haw says:

        Tap and go EFTPOS machines work offline for up to 8 hours as any transaction put through them is guaranteed by the bank up to $100 so even without any connectivity the terminals could have still operated.

    • Fishframe says:

      If they can’t process your card through eftpos, they should let you in for free.

      • Pissed off!! Again says:

        Well fish that would open up more floodgates for the mayor lol. I remember something on one of those dump weekends and a staff member told me about how they need to record what weight goes into landfill because state government charges them. If there numbers are out then EPA can fine them. Not sure if it’s true but makes sence. The amount of money spent at hearveys range dump they can’t afford to let anyone in free.

  48. The Wulguru Wonder says:

    Does anyone know if the Queensland Government and/or TCC are providing any sort of financial or non-financial (in-kind or provision of services) incentive/subsidy/grant/discount/contribution/sponsorship/support/payment to the promoter of the Elton John concert for the opening of Total Tools?

    • The Magpie says:

      Rumour that the mayor has promised Elton a private reunion show of Jamie Durie and Manpower.

      What a career trajectory our Jamie has had … from turning women on in Las Vegas to telling women turn off taps in Townsville.

    • Hee Haw says:

      WW of course TCC have done a deal to get him here, as they should.

      That may be through TEL or a deal with SQ but I would be certain that a deal has been done.

      • L Berry says:

        Why should they?

        • The Magpie says:

          Ah, your sweet innocence of the real world is touching, L Berry. Perhaps any cost involved will come out of the rates of the long suffering businesses which will benefit from Mr John’s presence.

          • Cantankerous but happy says:

            Too right Pie, like all the shuttle buses from the nursing homes and retirement villages around town, allied health professionals on hand to help manoeuvre their walkers around and help them to their seats, a fleet of defibrillator equiped ambulances at the venue, perhaps a pop up stand of a couple of local law firms with information about wills and estate planning. People need to stop being so negative about Elton Johns concert and think of the big picture.

          • The Magpie says:

            Now, now, Cankers be fair, and The ‘Pie is serious here. An Elton John concert in Townsville can only be a good thing, and a great way to open a venue that will be waiting a long time for a crowd of similar size. But many on this blog are negative or skeptical because of the timing appears designed to make the concert a campaign booster for Mayor Mullet’s re-election campaign, a classic beads and blankets effort that has a history of a manipulated timeline from the very start. They have been let down so many times before, that they were again spooked lack of reassurances from promoters, Stadiums Qld or the mayor about the ticket sales when Elton cancelled a scheduled show is America. But as for the concert itself, bring it on, we need a few hours respite from our daily realities.

            Alas, The ‘Pie will not be attending, he will be ‘rolling like thunder, under the covers’ … but rather than an amorous assignation, more the result of a prawn vindaloo and a few cans of Great Northern.


  49. Jatzcrackers says:

    Pie, suppose the pic of Mayor Mullet in that pink dress would have to qualify highly as part of Tacky Townsville collage. And no, I don’t have one stuck on my wardrobe door !

  50. The Magpie says:

    CRITICAL, thanks but way ahead of you, have been working on it for an early new year introduction. Great minds think alike. Happy 2020 to you.

  51. The Magpie says:

    Christ, this bloody paper. really.
    JT, or at the very least his manager should have a word with the Bulletin … the paper has literally thousands of file photograph of Jonathan Thurston, and they choose THIS ONE for this story? Jarring to say the least, and very embarrassing for him. Muppets!!

  52. Critical says:

    Does anyone know if Elton is staying in Townsville overnight or is flying out straight after the concert?

    • The Magpie says:

      Hmmm … you a bit of a groupie, there, Crits? Anyway, that would be commercial in confidence … why would promoters release that sort info with about a genuine star like EJ?

    • 89 Days says:

      Where the fuck would he stay? Seriously! Our hotels are up to shit.
      Fly in, fly out. Good luck driving anywhere that night.

      • The Magpie says:

        Bit over the top, mate. Perhaps not the standard a multi millionaire entertainer normally enjoys, but most establishments are well run, reasonable and totally acceptable. Let’s stick to the things that are really wrong around here, and leave alone those things that work fine.

      • Rocket man says:

        Perhaps the Mullet will put him with Jamie Durie in her spare bedroom?

    • I’ll be plucked says:

      Maybe the Ridgemont Motel??? :)

  53. Frequent flyer says:

    Elton will NOT be staying in Townsville. He’ll be flying in and out just like he did the last time he was here.

    • Fishframe says:

      I wonder if Kevin Gill will take him for a tour of the dirty seats in the airport lounge?

      • NQ gal says:

        Kevin Gill would be doing his best impression of Sir Walter Raleigh, if EJ had to avail himself of the airport. Luckily he will be coming in on a private jet, so can avoid that spectacle.

  54. No More Dredging says:

    ‘Pie, I got a book for Xmas by a new-to-me but apparently ‘bestselling’ author Judy Nunn – her 2019 historical page-turner “Khaki Town” about Townsville and a ‘wartime story they didn’t want told . . . ‘. I commend it partly because of a Townsville Daily Bulletin ‘investigative journalist’ (!) character, partly because of a crafty sleaze bag called Barry Taylor and particularly because of the quasi true story of LBJ in the town in 1942 and a lovely depiction of the Herbert Hotel back in the day.

    Happy New Year.

    • The Magpie says:

      Don’t follow the reference to ‘Barry Taylor’ … is there a character named that?

      • No More Dredging says:

        There absolutely is and beautifully wrought.

        • The Magpie says:

          Hope her publishers have a good legal department … our boy has the thin skin of the guilty.

          • No More Dredging says:

            Yes, well there’s plenty of comeuppance for Baz, especially at the hands of the publican, Val. It’s a cleverly told yarn based on some excellent historical research and well-grounded knowledge of the town and its outlying districts up the river to Kelso.

          • The Magpie says:

            Sounds like things never change around this burg, not even the names (The ‘Pie knows of a publican named Val).

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      Is the Herbert referred to as The Herbert, or Brown’s Bar? Wife is about 1/3 through the book.

      • No More Dredging says:

        “The Brown’s Bar” in the story is located in an unnamed pub on the corner of Ogden and Sturt across from the Court House. There’s an Author’s Note about ‘fact or fiction?’ at the end of the story which explains a few things. It opens as follows:

        “Khaki Town is a work of fiction, inspired by factual events about which very little is known”.

        • The Magpie says:

          And if that is what the author has written, one gathers she knows very little of map reading … Sturt and Ogden run parallel separated by Flinders. Did she, or you, mean Stokes? If so, that would certainly be the Herbert.

          • No More Dredging says:

            Yes, I meant Stokes – my stupid mistake. A bit more Author’s Note:

            “The Brown’s Bar is fictional as is the nameless hotel in which it is situated. However, for narrative purposes, ‘The Brown’s’, as it becomes known in the novel, stands on the site of the old Herbert Hotel. Formerly the Court House Hotel, built in the latter part of the nineteenth century, the name was changed to Herbert in 1910, and the original building replaced by the current brick structure in the 1920s.”

          • The Magpie says:

            As one who NEVER makes mistakes , The Magpie says …. nothing. Interesting historical notes, though.

  55. David Thoumine says:

    Magpie this may be of interest to you, something to get your beak into so to speak, port upgrade berth 4 raising the berth level to be all one height from one end to the other, cost about 150 mill however the large port cranes cannot traverse over the new raised section of the wharf because of an existing rail line on the old part.
    In order to gain access to the new part of the wharf the rail line has to be cut to allow the crane rail line to be laid through it. The owner of the rail has said no to cutting through it so the cranes are restricted to where they can operate. One would have thought this would have been discussed at an early stage of the proposed development? (This info came from a serving wharfy over the holiday period for what its worth, may be something in it for you) ? Keep up the good work trying to keep the bastards honest.

    • The Magpie says:

      Bit confused about who the owner of the rail line is, and what power they have refuse this crucial part of the development … wouldn’t that be state govt? or is it a crowd like Aurizon or some such? Whole thing sounds somewhat unlikely, sure your wharfie mate wasn’t on the Chrissy turps?

      But thanks, something may emerge about another triumph of planning from the powers that be, happy New Year to you, David, stick around the blog in 2020, it’s gunna be fun.

      • Fishframe says:

        It would seem that the rail owner has not been invited into the ‘fold’ for favourable consideration for their part in the extension?

    • No More Dredging says:

      David, interesting to look at the Google satellite view of Berth 4 (it’s a years-old image) – you can see the ‘old’ berth outline and imagine what the objective is/was. Hard to see what you mean about the rail line – you say they were raising the “berth level to be all one height from one end to the other” but that the large port cranes cannot traverse over the new “raised” section of the wharf. Was it ever intended that the existing container cranes (also used for bulk handling) would ever actually operate at the landward end of the wharf?

  56. Jenny Wren says:

    Happy New Year Magpie.
    Would any of your esteemed ‘posters’ know whether the management of Anderson Gardens has changed recently. If so, I would like to point out to him/her that big old trees do take a long time to grow and cutting them down is a upsetting to many people, let alone the wildlife that called them home.
    Recently “Billy Bombax” at the end of the gardens near the Kokoda Pool has been cut down. It isn’t the only recent casualty of the chain saw, a large eucalyptus has gone as has the sausage tree that the staff took so much effort to save after Yasi.
    If there has been an arborist’s report that they were diseased and had to go, wouldn’t it be good PR to place notices around the Gardens explaining what has happened rather than have regular visitors very angry.
    Any information about this or who to contact would be much appreciated.

    • The Magpie says:

      Goodness me, Jenny, are you suggesting that our council under Mayor Mullet hasn’t been transparent and forthcoming in engaging with the community on this? Well, whodda thort!!!
      Seriously, sounds very saddening and the information vacuum worthy of anger.
      OK Nesters, anyone know anything? And The ‘Pie doesn’t blame Ms Wren for not trying to find out anything from the council. You’ll know what I mean if you’ve tried to lately.

      • jenny wren says:

        If you search for Billy Bombax a blogger called Little Darwin comes up. Has photos and info, do you know why ‘Darwin’ has more info than us?

  57. Dave of Kelso says:

    A different matter; Down to Brisdrain for Christmas, and now on the road home. (it sure is not a highway, especially north of Rocky)

    Most noticable the very many vacant roadside bill boards. I do mean LOTS.

    Perhaps, a, sign of the times?

  58. Dave Sth says:

    Happy New Year Pie. Long may you be a thorn in the claw of the establishment of the north…

    On another note have heard rumours Qantas are about to drop Sydney-Bangkok route after a lengthy association. The experience the other day being loaded at a gate that is pretty well much a charter gate & bussing to the aircraft parked up at the international freight terminal makes me go hmmm… Wouldn’t be surprised to see more rural routes go the Qantaslink way. Gill might be cutting his nose to spite his face if they are looking to cut costs to replace their aging fleet…

    Anyway prosperous new year to all.

    • Roo stew says:

      Gill and his mates at QAL are disconnected from reality. Airlines these days only operate routes that are profitable. Bangkok at the moment is not an overly subscribed service due to the ongoing uprising taking place. Either way, Townsville is not on Santa Joyce’s ‘nice list’ due to the publish publicity bashing of the Roo by an inept and out-of-touch airport monopoly. Mess with Qantas and they can play very nasty. They also have some hard nosed commercial people and accountants who won’t cop a hit to the pocket by a cowboy outfit like QAL.

      • The Magpie says:

        Who cares about Qantas, we don’t fly with them because our mayor told us to boycott them. Because they wouldn’t agree to taxing passengers to benefit QAL’s bottom line. Yup, Virgin’s the only game in town … and probably the only virgin in town.

  59. Frequent flyer says:

    Drove past the Lancini stadium today expecting to see it all finished and ready to go, as suggested by the handing over story in the Astonisher recently. From what I saw the stadium is a long way from the handing over stage, unless you’re happy with dirt roads, unfinished entrances and piles of dirt and rubbish everywhere. Wonder how many more “handing over” media opportunities there will be between now and Elton’s retirement benefit. You can bet there will be at least one more considering the Mullet was away on holidays for the first one. My best guess is on a date that bests suits the Mullet’s election campaign.

    • Critical says:

      Rather ironical that the Atonisher is reporting that construction on the budget level Hilton Doubletree Hotel is to start in March 2020. Mullet must be hoping that turning the first sod and the appearance of couple of on-site dongas will boost her election chances and also looking to the heavens praying for little rain in March so that she and the media photographers don’t have to get into her gum boots wearing her purple frock for endless media shots and look what I’ve done for Townsville propaganda opportunities.

      • Fishframe says:

        I can’t imagine that construction of the ‘low brow’ Hilton could possibly start by March. It’s only three months away and they’re still saying they want proper confirmation of the Cowboys HP Centre actually happening before they will commit. I wouldn’t be surprised if they changed their mind – Townsville economy is still crap and has a long way to go.

  60. Fireman Sam says:

    I see that our Pentecostal Prime Minister must have caught up with some of his Minister mates, had some corporate lunches and asked PMC to come up with a media brief to do with the fires. The Hawaii Kid went live this afternoon. Are his prayers not working, as the fires aren’t diminishing? What a bunch of morons. They finally accept that failing to burn off fuel for the fires and the undergrowth for decades has contributed to most of these fires severity! But please don’t tell poor Greta, she will have anoth kiniption and an angry outburst if you tell her that controlled fires and farmers and our indefenous friends know are a normal part of life. It’s when bureaucrats from Canberra or other capital cities make rules and legislation while sitting i. Their Armani suits, that things go wrong. Now look at the situation. Wankers.

    • I’ll be plucked says:

      Very hot under the collar there Fireman – hope you’ve got a hose long enough to put yourself out should the need arise!

    • No More Dredging says:

      Fireman Sam, you can slag off at PM Morrison all you like (and I don’t care) but at least get your facts right. You say, “They finally accept that failing to burn off fuel for the fires and the undergrowth for decades has contributed to most of these fires severity!”
      Yet in November the NSW Department of Planning, Industry and Environment said the National Parks and Wildlife Service carried out hazard reduction activities across more than 139,000ha in 2018 and 2019.

      “The NPWS had a hazard reduction target to treat 680,000ha of parks and reserves in the five years from 2011, which the spokesperson said it had exceeded.”

      The spokesperson added: “Hazard reduction is just one way of preparing for bushfires – it doesn’t remove the threat of fire.”

      “Hazard reduction work has increased because of increased funding to the RFS and to national parks. There has been more carried out in recent years than in previous decades.”

      So Sam, there’s been more hazard reduction than ever before.

      • L Berry says:

        NMD…But are they doing it in the right places? I heard an East Gippsland resident complaining that they have not had controlled burns for over a decade. The High Country also appears to be sacred grounds against deliberate fuel reduction. And why should we just accept a “not guilty” plea from the NSW government mandarins until a full and proper investigation is held? Unless, of course, you accept Young Einstein’s proposition that, “if you can’t trust the governments of this world, then who can you trust?”. In any event, most people on the ground are saying that, hazard reduction or not, the fires would have been catastrophic regardless. And, Fireman Sam, you are an absolute flog.

  61. Cantankerous but happy says:

    In amongst our many failings in Townsville at least we kept a bit of perspective and balance during our floods last wet season, unlike some of these people at the moment in NSW abusing the PM and just looking for someone to blame about their life, shit happens you just have to deal with it.

    • The Magpie says:

      Seriously Cankers, this is a low point of your usually valuable contributions to this blog, a classic of making the victims the villains. Very harsh, Cankers, and wrong as well. Easy for you to require people who have seen their entire life go up in flames (and in many cases, the actual lives of friends and neighbours) to be balanced and polite in their distress towards a putative ‘national leader’ who didn’t have the wit or compassion to even be in the country to fulfil one of his crucial roles as ‘national comforter and re-assurer’ at times of national disaster. And he’s only back here now for political not compassionate reasons. Your post reads like callous party political spin.

      And Townsville flood victims had ‘perspective and balance’ during the floods – Jenny Hill and the crew who made crucial decisions ‘for the greater good’ which many still blame for their distress will be surprised to hear that. Or are those who question those actions just whingers looking to blame someone because ‘shit happens’?

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        Not at all Pie, as someone who had to muck out 2 places full of mud after the flood I can assure you that even if Jenny Hill whom I personally despise was walking past my house afterwards, I would have simply turned the other way and ignored her, not taken the opportunity to display my personal dislike of the person and throw abuse at her, there is no point, no outcome from it, so why do it, and in the case of Jenny Hill she had personal culpability in the outcome, she was part of the process, the PM had zero involvement in the fires, as did everyone other than the pricks who lit them.

        • The Magpie says:

          Two places, eh? Hard life, but a noble one, sounds like.
          Like The ‘Pie said, text book example of making victims the perpetrators. Why not just leave them the fuck alone in their grief and numbness, you’ve got no dog in this fight. The PM is clearly a spinning hypocrite, and you allowing your politics to overcome your basic decency and humanity is sad to witness – especially from an otherwise intelligent person.

          • Cantankerous but happy says:

            Cheap shot Pie, new boundaries for 2020? one was my own house, the other a place we own that an invalid relative lives in, noble or hard, not likely, but I will stick by my initial point that the people of Townsville handled their adversity very well last year.

          • The Magpie says:

            Yes they did, but that doesn’t invalidate that your criticism was harsh, unjustified and an example why comparisons are odious. And you talk of ‘cheap shots”?

      • QED says:

        Does this mean the PM is responsible for the monsoon and flood as well.?

        If so, I’m not gunna shake his hand either- prick.

        • The Magpie says:

          This is the sort drooling nitwittery best suited to Text-The-Iditor. No one has said the PM is responsible for the fires, but he is responsible for his reaction to them, which in the beginning was total indifference.

  62. Frequent flyer says:

    First the Mullet calls for a boycott of Qantas over its refusal to charge passengers a levy to pay for a Townsville Airport development which will add to a private company’s (QAL) profits and assets.
    Then we had the council getting a government grant to restructure roads around the airport entrance, with no mention of the airport contribution.
    Now the council is providing truckloads of ratepayers money for a Singapore Airlines promotional campaign, aimed at getting a direct air link to Singapore, which would add significantly to QAL’s profits.
    Kevin Gill is chairman of TEL and the Mullet is his deputy.
    Join the dots.
    No conflict of interest (of course) and details of funding for the roadworks and promotion of Singapore Airlines are commercial-in-confidence (of course).
    What is it going to take to get the Crime and Corruption Commission to investigate TCC, or does the Mullet and her team of Labor arm raisers enjoy the protection of Anna Alphabet?

  63. The Magpie says:

    Lurching from on e PR disaster to another, spinning out of control.

    Is this man talking to us or just giving solace to those to the coalition party room?

      • No More Dredging says:

        The PM has lost control of his agenda. He came back from Hawaii against his plan and better judgement and is now stuck in no mans land between state authorities and some form of national leadership – about which he doesn’t seem to have a clue. Pushing the emergency minister or treasurer in front of the cameras won’t work. The day he activated the army and navy he should have pulled on a flak jacket and hung out with the military like a proper national leader. Ho hum. Let’s hope he doesn’t choose to turn up at the cricket in Sydney. He’ll be run out of town – his town, which is an irony all its own.

        • Dutch Reverend says:

          No need to worry about the PM turning up at the cricket in Sydney….Albo beat him to it. I notice the Greens have been conspicuous by their absence during this period of catastrophic fires. Why is that ? Just asking, have they been instrumental in ensuring that winter burn offs are not carried out and residents are prohibited from clearing of trees around their properties ? With regard to funding for the RFS, the media has been instrumental by not challenging the misinformation therefore ensuring that the public believe that it is the Federal Government’s responsibility, when in fact us is the responsibility of the State Governments. By not correcting the error, the media are complicit and their bias is obvious.

          • The Magpie says:

            Beg to differ but the media is not complicit in anything, and just for the record, ‘the media’ is not in itself a coordinated lobby machine with an agenda, capable of being in cahoots with each other. They are out there competing with each other, believe me, my 50 plus years experience of these situations makes a nonsense of a very flimsy conspiracy theory that puts the ABC in bed with Sky and the Murdoch press. The one thing the PM has got right (well, even a stopped clock is right twice a day) is that there does need to be a national federally-coordinated body to handle disasters like this, and it has been widely reported that it should not be left to the states. Drawing on a nationally coordinated pool of skills and manpower is needed for single one-location events (Townsville floods) and multiple location/states events (these bushfires).

        • Holidays says:

          So where was Daniel Andrews in this “Fire Emergency”, or Puddleduck?

          Answer, they were on holidays, but don’t let that cloud your judgement, or lack thereof

          • The Magpie says:

            The ‘Pie is ever available for correction, but two things: there is no fire emergency in Queensland, is there? And even if there was, we’re better off if Palaszczuk isn’t around, only good for grandstanding and words of shining insincerity, and her absence lets people who know about these things get on the job with a desperate pollie getting under everyones feet.

          • Alahazbin says:

            NSW Emergency Services minister David Elliot on holidays also (Thanks Shari)
            Where is the fuck’n outrage?

          • The Magpie says:

            The answer to your question is right across the nation.

          • tags says:

            Dan Andrews was there from the start, asked for backup early and was on the ground every day – what coverage have you been watching?!

  64. Guy says:

    It might be better to get rid of scomo and put tony abbot back in as prime minister whilst the bushfire emergency is still going. Abbot can just run the situation from the front line.

  65. Bing4814 says:

    More stollen cars wrecked on The Strand in front of the watermark. For 6 years Townsville has been complaining and the politicians have ignored us. I wonder if we will still be complaining about this same problem in 4 years time or something will finally get done to stamp these scourges out ? Not sure a change in government is enough now at this point.

  66. Non Aligned Worker says:

    Seems everyone is reacting to Ruperts headlines re ScoMo.
    Sucked in guys and gals.

  67. Department Secretary says:

    I’m surprised as to why nobody is questioning Morrison’s ‘snap’ decision to downsize 18 federal departments into 14?? Most people would say ‘oh good, get rid of some public servants’, but think about one of the changes for a minute – he has created The Department of Agriculture, Water and the Environment by merging the Department of Agriculture and environment functions with the Department of the Environment and Energy. All good on paper, but three completely different portfolios and functions that will take years to properly merge and maybe become workable. All at a time when, yes, we are facing an environmental catastrophe, but this is a reactive measure. But doing this NOW is a little too late and the timing is woeful. The bureaucrats eyes will be well
    and truly taken off the ball and the real issues going on and they will be concentrating on protecting their rice bowls, developing organisational structures, ensuring pay scales stay the same, fighting industrial action taken by all of the affected public servants. There will be serious issues that come out of this.

    • The Magpie says:

      Very good point. And we in Townsville know very well the outcome of loading different responsibilities on to a fewer number of managers for the false claim of saving money.

      • Department Secretary says:

        Wait until all of those flood waters from last year spawn a record amount of undergrowth which will eventually fire up thanks to nobody being allowed to clean and maintain their land. Another couple of years and Townsville will be ripe for a bushfire catastrophe. But as Scomo says, ‘be patient’, all will be ok. He will says prayer for us when it happens and he will visit on his Guvmint Jet for a few hours, try to shake hands with the locals and then have a cup of tea with Jenny, the human pink doona (and still Mayor). Then he will piss off back to Canberra on his personal plane (if it hasn’t been stolen and dumped at The Strand!)

        • Kenny Kennett says:

          It’s not the Feds who put the restrictions on clearing the undergrowth which grows into feral trees. It’s the bloody local and State governments. I’m getting sick of those screaming voices blaming the PM for something he has little to do with. Where are the Greens during this crisis? They are the fuckheads blocking the safe back burning which would’ve prevented this. And as for Climate change, if you wanna blame the Govt for that, wind the clock back to the Fraser and Hawke governments or before that. That’s when any action would have any effect nowadays.

          • The Magpie says:

            Good start to another year of wilful wrongheadedness, Kenny me old luvvie. NO ONE is blaming Morrison for the bushfires, just his reaction to them and his arrogant misjudged absence. The rest of your comment is uninformed twaddle, published to let you your many fans know you’ve stumbled into another year, as cheery as ever.

  68. Non Aligned Worker says:

    Cut and paste today’s stolen car and crime report until something is done about the repeat offenders.

    • Just Say'n says:

      Interesting articles in today’s press about Foetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD).

      Seems that women who drink alcohol during pregnancy run the risk of their kids being born with brain damage that results in behavioural problems to a greater or lesser degree.

      Reckon that’s the problem with some of our recidivist juveniles, some are nearly brain dead. Blame Mum (if she’s sober).

      Locking them up won’t fix their heads.

      • The Magpie says:

        Ah, alcohol – and that so often is where it all starts. As we all know, women who drink run the risk of getting inappropriately pregnant to careless and uncaring temporary romeos, and many are soon bewailing ‘Romeo, wherefor art thou?’ This nanny state of Australia warns us and advises us on all manner of ‘well, duh’ matters (‘Townsville, here’s how to turn off a tap’), so The ‘Pie suggests that nightclubs, pubs and dating apps should be plastered with cigarette-like warnings ‘Beware Bonking While Blotto.’ As they say, nail polish and panties have one thing in common, they both come off with alcohol.

        • Parson Blossomnose says:

          What your Just Say’n is a great little racist and sexist dogwhistle. But doesn’t your deep insight, on all available evidence, apply equally to, say, Scott Morrison?

          • Just Say'n says:

            Hey PB,

            I just re-read my post and I’m struggling to find any mention of race.

            The sexist bit comes from the fact that it is the mother of the foetus that affects its brain development by drinking alcohol when pregnant. The male can be as drunk as a skunk (and probably was/is).

            It applies regardless of the race of the mother.

            As for Scott Morrison, not sure what that comment means. See last sentence for clarity.

            I think the whole world must look different through your race coloured, sexist eyes. Poor thing.

          • Parson Blossomnose says:

            To help you understand the reason you can’t find any mention of race.

            dog whistle
            • [usually as modifier] a subtly aimed political message which is intended for, and can only be understood by, a particular group: dog-whistle issues such as immigration, race and crime.

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        It won’t fix their heads, but it will protect the community.

  69. Just Say'n says:


    Thank you for the illuminatory extract from some dictionary of contemporary terms.

    Take my comments anyway you decide is best. Your opinion doesn’t change the simple fact that women who drink alcohol during pregnancy run the risk of their kids being born with brain damage that results in behavioural problems to a greater or lesser degree.

    Not sure how a fact is racist or a dog whistle but I’ll leave that to you and your distorted view of teh world to decide.

    • The Magpie says:

      The ‘Pie has tried to avoid this gum-flapping issue and let you folks dook it out among yourselves, but your clumsy and back-tracking selectivity Just Sayin’ is irritating and dishonest.
      So here’s how it works, as The ‘Pie sees the argument. The basic hypothesis is of course good research information on FASD, but then you link it to a section of the population which is, on official police figures, about 90% indigenous when you write “Reckon that’s the problem with some of our recidivist juveniles, some are nearly brain dead. Blame Mum (if she’s sober).” And you would be lying to deny the other well-researched fact that a some aborigines are known to have a fatal weakness for alcohol, and that juvenile crime is linked to lack of parenting.

      Of course, you may honestly argue that this was unintended and not what you meant. Which leaves the only alternative that you’re pretty dumb.

      So do yourself a favour, drop the mealy mouthed ‘what me? Heavens, no’ bullshit, and drop the subject … you’ve been found out. But of course, you can keep digging if you re silly enough.

  70. RFS sometimes says:

    I havnt commented for a while but noticed the fires have raised here this week in the blog. I am a current RFS volunteer and can see Townsville heading in the same direction as NSW very quickly. The sooner these dumbfuck politicians and green groups stop calling it climate change the less lives will be lost. For years now QLD government before and after Campbell Newman have not allowed land cleaning and fuel reduction to happen. Take a drive down nth shore Blvd and look both sides, the side with grazing has very little fuel but plenty of healthy trees. The other side has dead trees after last year and 6ft high grass ready to go up. You be the judge of where you would rather be if a bushfire started there. It is not climate change when some arsehole lights it deliberately. It’s arsen. And because of mostly labor governments, like the stealing generations along the strand yesterday, the arsonists are let out. We have been calling for more resources to help prevent what we are seeing now. Imagine what 300 plus million could do across the north instead of a football stadium. If we have a fire like what your seeing now in NSW here you can virtually say goodbye to rangwood , rupertswood and parts of deeragun. These fires burn at imence temperature and can’t be stopped. The fire front dosnt do as much damage as the amber shower. The winds inside these are the reason nothing stands up to it. I’ve seen first hand what can happen and praise God we were able to gain control back. Please think about this every time you hear some wanker on tv saying it’s climate change when they have no idea what they are talking about.lets hope that some sence comes to those voting to get rid of a council who stands by idel while aboriginal kids steal cars and says nothing to the labor government 3 duds. How many burnt out cars have nearly started one of these fires. Hand in hand. Please Townsville get rid of labor.

    • The Magpie says:

      Small note on grammar.
      This is ‘arsen’

      And this is ‘arson’.

      Or maybe it’s an eye-popping enema for those into arsen?

    • 84 Days says:

      Ah son…
      Having lived in a rural area and watched the RFS burn off each year I call bullshit on your claim of a lack burn offs.
      I do, however, object to national parks and private land being locked up and not maintained.
      Additionally we don’t have ember attacks in this area of the country as our forests aren’t as heavily treed, and most of the undergrowth are grasses. The fires in southern Australia are also being driven by the unusually high winds, after a long long droughts.
      Making this political is just fucking stupid, as each state has a different party in government, Labor and LNP. And they’ve all got fires.

    • No More Dredging says:

      RFS, there have been several fuel reduction prescription burns around Townsville in the past few months in the national parks at Cape Cleveland, Mt Elliott and Magnetic Island – right up to about September which was stretching the envelope for safety and control. Decisions about whether to burn and when are made by professionals in QPWS and fire committees in various areas – not by “dumbfuck politicians and green groups”. But you should know this if you work with the RFS.

      • The Magpie says:

        Since we’re in this territory, there is now surely a good reason to drop this over-reactive ban on grazing in national parks, or selected areas thereof. And that ban YOU can put down to Green pressure. The ‘Pie is getting increasingly pissed off with the raw deal handed out to our farmers, the majority of whom are the real conservationists. Have long suspected that large corporates’ lobbyists have a hidden agenda of making life on the land intolerable for the individual man on the land, with invasive trespassing by anti-meat groups going largely unpunished, bans on grazing in national parks as mentioned, and all sorts of red tape to make a tough life even tougher. The drought is now helping this agenda as we move towards the American disaster of BigFarma, with faceless corporations buying up and running properties of millions of hectares. If you want to know how that works out, check out Cubbie Station’s cotton operation, and water rights being sold across the nation to Chinese companies.

        • Fishframe says:

          Very true. Too many agendas and no concern for best interests of everyone else.

        • No More Dredging says:

          ‘Pie, apart from Kosciuszko National Park in NSW with a coupla thousand brumbies on the loose and no plan to ‘manage’ them, I can’t think of another national park in Australia that allows “grazing” by farmers of any stripe, corporate or otherwise. For some months of the drought during Campbell Newman’s premiership the QG opened three inland NQ national parks for (maybe, from memory) a thousand head of cattle. That was a one-off as far as I recall.

        • Al says:

          Well said mate. I reckon we are all better informed by your comments than most of the crap you have to deal with. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

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