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The Magpie

Sunday, May 19th, 2019   |   153 comments

It’s Either A Mistake Or A Miracle: The Astonisher Records A Rare Rise In Readership … But …

Oh dear, Jenna – and the week started so well for you, with the Townsville Bulletin just one of five Australian newspapers to record an INCREASE in readership over the past year, March to March. But given the paper’s woeful display of indifference to its core craft, typified several times during the week, we really do have to scratch our heads.

And the last few days deepens the mystery – for a start, in an election week, the paper acted as a megaphone for criminal vandals, condemning while at the same time promoting election graffiti attacks.

And it’s official: the paper thinks its readers are ‘dummies’ … and says so in Saturday’s paper.

Also, a question no one has bothered asking the Townsville City Council …

Plus our regular visit to our American cousins living in Trumpistan … and from pommyland, one of the all time great put-downs of a political heavyweight.

But first, let’s dispense with broader political comment

The Magpie’s Deep Analysis : The Short Answer To Why Labor Lost


Bill Shorten.

And what a difference three hours makes in politics. This at 5.55pm, Saturday

Screen Shot 2019-05-18 at 10.08.56 pm

But Then, For Some, Saturday Was A Matter Of Priorities …

Bentley was on a winner …

Space invader fin

And it wasn’t always politics on top, which was clearly the priority of one golfer at Rowes Bay…

Screen Shot 2019-05-19 at 1.03.59 am

Moving Right Along …

In the old vulgar parlance of the sporting fan, it’s been a ‘Hooray … oh, fuck’ week for Iditor Jenna Cairney and her Townsville Bulletin. First came the news – truly Astonishing in itself – that the paper had shown an increase in readership over the past year, just one of five to do so nationwide.

Screen Shot 2019-05-15 at 1.25.35 pm Readership to March 2019

The others were the West Australian, Perth Sunday Times, the Hobart Mercury and the NT News. Everyone else was down the tubes in print.

The Bulletin results mystified more than just The Magpie, and we all widely believed it was so against the trend of death by increments of recent years that the actual figures had been reversed by accident. But no … The ‘Pie contacted the Roy Morgan survey crowd, who have always been reliable and careful with their work, and they confirmed the figures were correct. It was apparently a reaction to a very sharp drop in readers the previous March, ‘but the trend is definitely still downwards’, the Morgan people said.

Seems it’s marvellous what a flood can do for readership, it’s real news for a change.

So An Enduring Mystery Deepens

Three of the great imponderable questions continue to baffle the best minds … they are 1. Is there a God? 2. Want do women REALLY want? And 3. Why does ANYBODY still read the Bulletin?

The answers in order: 1. who knows? 2. who cares? and 3. beats me.

But so unused to reporting actual things that HAVE happened rather than MIGHT, COULD or MAYBE WILL HAPPEN, the Bulletin managed a disgracefully stupid display of faux outrage when some election signs were vandalised.

Screen Shot 2019-05-13 at 11.23.54 am

The story repeated exactly what the graffiti had said.

One of the basics of journalism The ‘Pie was taught as a cadet was that, when reporting graffiti stories and this sort of vandalism, NEVER print the claims and blur it out on photographs (unless of course court reporting). Otherwise, common sense would tell you that you are simply passing on the message the criminals wanted to broadcast.So not for the first time, our dill of an iditor SHOWS PIX AND REPEATS IN PRINT WHAT ALL THE FUCKWITS SPRAY PAINTED, THUS MAGNIFYING A HUNDREDFOLD THE EXPOSURE OF THEIR BRAINDEAD ACTIONS.

This not just dumb, it is the height of irresponsibility. And invites others knuckle-draggers to make a name for themselves.

But to show this is a lesson not learnt (they have done this before), they were at it again on election day, running another story with this photo.

Screen Shot 2019-05-18 at 11.01.10 am

Bentley is instructive in putting this unprofessional iditorial policy in perspective.

Graffiti small

But Ethics Isn’t The Only Lack

There used to be a standing joke in media circles many years ago that the then News Ltd boss in HQ in Holt Street, the lisping Ita Buttrose ‘thought ethics was a county in England.’ But the Astonisher’s Jennna Cairney is no Ita Biuttrose, despite evidence that she has the same view of ethics. A serious argument was made during the week that the iditor of the paper has a major drawback in doing her job … Jenna Cairney apparently just doesn’t understand English. Have a look at this.


…the strap says ‘bid’ , opening line says ‘reportedly’ before ‘locked in’ but then says the Premier is yet to make the final decision (what, may we ask, has it got to do with her? So we’ve got the begging bowl out yet again to top up the appearance fee, have we? It’s not explained.) Yet despite all this, the headline makes the definitive, done-deal statement ’Rocket Man To Launch Stadium’.

Can she really be that dense? Or has the desperation blinded her to the absurdity of that front page and the damage to the Bulletin’s credibility – oh, hang on a sec, scrub that last bit, sorry, wasn’t thinking.

That is proof positive that the old saying is no joke … never fuck up a story with facts.

Seems The Bulletin Knows Its Readers

In the London Express newsroom years ago, there was a big sign on the wall that said ‘Remember, they are all 8 years old’. That was the instruction to writers about the level of language understanding of the average reader.

Well, the Bulletin has a similar and openly expressed view of its own readers. The revelation came with this bit of patronising juvenilia in Saturday’e election day paper.

Screen Shot 2019-05-18 at 11.02.18 amNow they might have got away with that bit of clichéd flapdoodle, until you read the nonsense that followed… which was definitely aimed at eight-year-olds, despite the fact they can’t vote.

The questions answered for dummies (seriously, these are the headings in the article):

Where do I need to go?

Who am I voting for?

Snag a democracy sausage.

What’s this huge piece of paper?

And it ends with this –


Follow rolling election coverage and real-time results of national and North Queensland seats at townsvillebulletin.com.au.

To get full digital access, become a subscriber for just $1 a week for the first 12 weeks, including home delivery of the Weekend Townsville Bulletin and Sunday Mail.

Of course we all flocked to Astonisher website, for the usual up-to-the-minute elections results from this up-to-the-minute paper. The first result came in early, and started ‘Robert Gordon Menzies .. (Lib) 35,675 …

The ‘Pie decided to watch the ABC.

A Good Question The ‘Pie Will Be Asking

This item caught the beady eye in the Courier.

Screen Shot 2019-05-13 at 10.50.29 am

This started The ‘Pie wondering about our city council. During the reign of Adele The Impaler Young as CEO, it is no secret that there was deep despair and despondency at the council, not just at the loss of jobs, but because of the behaviour of the CEO and some of her senior executive towards staff. Stephen Becket wasn’t called The Screaming Midget for nothing. So the question now uppermost is how many, if any, formal complaints of bullying, threats and inappropriate behaviour have been made by current and former council staff? And bottom line, how much is that going to ultimately cost the ratepayer?

The emotional chaos was so widespread that surely there must be so formal complaints in the works. If there aren’t , that raises an even more interesting question. Why not?

We’ll ask our open and transparent council anyway, futile hope being this blog’s speciality.


No not ‘Jenny Hill’.

Although that warning can sometimes apply to this entire blog, the words we speak of … because it is now officially in the Oxford English Dictionary … are the new variations on ‘cunt’.

Screen Shot 2019-05-18 at 11.27.15 pm

The core word has always been in the more serious dictionaries, but the news is that derivatives used in everyday language are now included. This article on the Jezebel site is very informative about more than just that word. It seems ‘cunted’ is being under the influence of drugs or alcohol, and ‘cunting’ is the new intensifier taking over from the ubiquitous and now passé ‘fucking’ … as in ‘cunting good kick by the full forward’, or ‘cunting good riddance’ when discussing politics ( very appropriate for some this very morning, give it a whirl and watch the kids jaws drop).

Now, The ‘Pie fully expects a small flood of unsubscribes for mentioning this seemingly unseemly irrelevant matter (but matters in this blog are generally irrelevant anyway). And that will be disappointing, because The ‘Pie will always maintain his interest in language, particularly the addition of new words and anything … such as above … that strips from certain mundane words their unwarranted ability to shock and outrage. Only ideas, not single words, should have that power.

If you didn’t know any of this or even didn’t want to know this, at least The Magpie is always trying to keep you …ummm … ahead of the curve, so as to speak heh heh heh.

Speaking Of New Words …

One word The Magpie finds particularly objectionable is ‘islamaphobia’. This invented word, originating a decade or so ago in England, had an originally reasonable meaning, the unthinking, un-inquiring fear of muslims. But soon, it was hijacked by the leftish chatterati, to stifle free speech and forbid reasonable inquiry into the practices and beliefs of a medieval religion that can be as easily misinterpreted as the the outdated strictures of the Bible. So The ‘Pie sees islamaphobia as an highly offensive assault of the freedom of ideas and inquiry in its current general usage.

The ‘Pie well remembers his bewilderment when he saw a march in Sydney by muslim youths carrying placards that said those who criticised or didn’t worship Muhammad should be killed – beheaded preferably. That a group of secular people could march in the streets advocating the violent death of 99.2% of the Australian population (inciting violence is a crime in this country, and at last report, killing certainly is … if it wasn’t, there’d be a lot less politicians and priests), the thought occurred at the time what would happen if the boot was on the other foot, and a group held a protest demanding that those who advocated death on religious grounds should themselves be killed.

Bumptious lot of buggers, those dangerous kids, but seems that they deserve their own word, which is hereby introduced to the world … Infidelaphobia – the fear of people who don’t (politely) agree with muslims.

Might catch on.

What’s In A (Nick) Name


Screen Shot 2019-05-19 at 1.36.55 am

Unfortunately, they made the mistake of bringing him down safely.

If we’ve got ScoMo, the Poms have got BoJO, the appropriately clown-like diminutive for prime ministerial aspirant Boris Johnson. A sort of jokey cross between Clive Palmer and Fraser Anning, with a dollop of droll public school/Oxbridge drawling humour and penchant for undignified stunts, Johnson’s long coveted dreams of Number 10 are now within his grasp. Which has alarmed some, one such being the possessor of the greatest barbed pen in British newspapers, the wonderful Marina Hyde. To say she was dismayed doesn’t do her poisoned satirist’s pen justice. She wrote in the Guardian:

Is he even possibly going to be our next prime minster, then? Boris Johnson? This radioactive haystack, this Frankenstein assemblage of all the rejected personality disorders of the minor Greek gods?

The ‘Pie is in awe, and jealous. Not a gal to get on the wrong side of.

Fun fact … There Was An Eighth Dwarf.

And we will all fondly remember Clumsy.

And An Innocent Era Has Officially Ended

Doris Day

The Week In Trumpistan

And President Agent Orange’s trade war is looking a tad ill advised.

139_225134 16_22 lk051419dapc 53_225168 051319tariffsr 6_102 3_141 sbr051619dapc mrz051619dapr 17_20 0_4 253_225131 20190514edshe-b 217_225023 Bruce Plante Cartoon: Trump the business man Tom Toles Editorial Cartoon - tt_c_c190517.tif 53_225162


That’s it for now, but feel free to vent or gloat in comments, they run 24/7 … and you can be anonymous, not even The ‘Pie will know who you are. But if you are, as the old bird suspects, a generous hearted creature, you can drop a much needed donation into the Nest, by using the How To button below.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. More Dredging Please says:

    I quote:

    “No More Dredging
    May 6, 2019 at 5:59 pm
    MDP, you are in La la land. You (we actually) have to deal with reality. Shorten will lead Labor and Plibersek will be deputy for the time being.”

    NMD, things are pretty green here in La la land (although very crowded with LNP supporters).

    Hows life in Iron Bark?

    • Pat Coleman says:

      I’m assuming that’s a reference to “He’s cut me bloody throat” Banjo Pattersons The Man from IronBark

  2. Mike Douglas says:

    Saturday evening commenced with nearly all the polls and highly paid commentators like Barrie Cassidy, Steve Wardill, Dennis Aitkens predicting a Labor Win and even Sportsbet paying out Labor bets three days early because “ punters never get it wrong “. 5 hours after polling finished we had Penny Wong and Tanya Plibersek blaming Clive Palmer, negative LNP campaign, Murdoch everyone else even the dog eating their homework and anything but their policies , Cathy Otoole losing the seat of Herbert and Bill Shorten conceding defeat and standing down. What is clear many commentators are pious and disconnected from the community , the value of polls and Labor is on the nose in Queensland over hospitals, crime and Adani and Governments need to take the retiree vote more seriously .

    • The Magpie says:

      As The ‘Pie said in the blog, two words explain the reason for the (unexpected to some) loss… Bill Shorten. Are we in for the reign of Plibbers as Opposition leader?

      But far more interesting will be state Labor’s delicate political polka, dancing around a floor strewn with policy turds. That dance is more likely to become back-flipping jitterbugging as the reality sets in and we move towards the next state election. Anna and Treacherous Trad in a break dance contest.

      And expect Mayor Mullet to double down on her ‘I”m an independent, not Labor’ mantra.

  3. Spooka says:

    Infidelaphobia, good one Pie. Will spread the love for you far and near.

    • The Magpie says:

      Appreciate the ciomment, but bthink we’ll leave the newly minted emphasiser aside for the moment, Casper.

      • Pat Coleman says:

        As a militant atheist the far right’s premise is wrong.

        They say that Australia is a Christian country. That their non existent god is better than anyone else’s. That everyone must fight for and against things that don’t exist.

        There is no god. Me, I attack religion per she.

        Remember, that creep Pell arguing that all major religions should get together to fight “rampant secularism” ?

        Well, I took that personal. Its the Christians that have the levers of power.

        They create the structures of oppression.

        So resources thin, where do you aim the slings and arrows for maximum legal effect that applies to ALL religions ?

        The recent high court loss to the right to lifers proves you aim at the Christians and everyone metaphorically falls over.

  4. DEADTOOLE says:

    Well it’s time I changed my namesake on your blog now magpie now she’s gone, only question now is what to call myself for the next target. Any idea please??

    NOTHING HILL ( notting hill, movie )

    SILENT HILL ( video game with zombies )

    HUMBERGER HILL ( hamberger hill, movie )


    Only other question is what’s clives next move especially with local government election next year

  5. J Jones says:

    Love you Pie but haven’t you done exactly the same thing as the Astonisher by publishing the graffiti pix and giving them an even wider audience

    • The Magpie says:

      Indeed, you are correct and The ‘Pie was aware of that unfortunate irony, but he figured 1.this blog is viewed by a selective, and intelligent readership (except for one or two pet imbeciles) who wouldn’t be affected, 2. weighed it up against holding the Bulletin to account, 3. timing: it was after the fact of the purpose of the vandalism, which is why The ‘Pie didn’t broach the subject in comments during the week, and 4. The ‘Pie is a private blog not a community monopoly newspaper/website.

  6. Bit Suss says:

    Sometime last year – I want to say April- all JCU students and Alumni were given a free digital subscription to The Bulletin and The Australian. I find reading it helps me understand the
    gullibility of some who read nothing else. It’s up there with New Idea for headline hook lines and sinkers.

  7. Les says:


    Bloody Tories have seized the day. Cathy’s gone.

    We know that Aaron, Scott and Coralie are stuffed. What do we do?

    Do you reckon its worth chucking the ALP membership and joining the LNP? I’m thinking about it but I’m not that keen on the Freckle, and definitely can’t stand Mander. Besides Crisafulli belongs to the LNP and we don’t get on at all.

    I’m quite fond of redheads, maybe that’s the way to go.

    Whatever way we go, you hang in as Mayor – don’t throw me a hospital pass.

  8. I’ll be plucked says:

    Pluck off Tool – Phil, don’t do the ‘sign the farewell card thing with a smartarse remark’ like she did, please.

    Hey Mullet, you’re next, followed by the do nothing, hapless, head nodding, inept Harpic, O’Rort and Private Cupcake. We’re coming for you pluckers too!

  9. Woodduck says:

    Waiting to see what Whovians Rock has to say about the election result, he had them win at 10+ Seats. I’m with the Pie on this, 2 words Bill Shorten, that was labor’s down fall.

    • The Magpie says:

      And another theory for you … the death of the Great Fornicator highlighted that he was also the Great Communicator … and that The Short Un was anything but. Shorten’s shining insincerity of delivery summed up the over-reach of the union boss.

    • I’ll be plucked says:

      Hey Wooddick, ‘Who-over-it’ is prolly still playing with their democracy sausage!

  10. I’ll be plucked says:

    Hey Shorten and Tool, go suck on a democracy sausage ! The electorate has spoken. Hey Phil, don’t let us down – see what happens when you do??!

  11. Col Foley says:

    “Independent” Jenny Hill!

    She who was Secretary of the Railway estate branch of the Labor Party?

    Can we ask her how this miraculous conversion came about? She hasn’t been on the road to Damascus in the intervening years, so what was it?

    Did she travel an equally inspiring road in India?

    Or is she just a rat trying to put distance between her and the sinking red ship?

    To me it is an insult and just another example of the low regard she has for her rate-payers’ intelligence.

  12. Grumpy says:

    Perhaps R J Hawke’s death was not the advantage to Shorten as he tried to milk so disgracefully. People were reminded how great a man Bob was, then looked at Shorten and realised what a buffoon he really is.

  13. One legged tap dancer says:

    What a night!
    O’Toole got what she deserved
    Abbott a dose dose of his own medicine
    Dowling (Clive Palmer) got just 5% of the vote
    Shorten lost the unlosable election
    Now that’s what I call a First 4.
    Can’t wait for the next race, featuring Hill, Stewart, O’Rourke and Harper.
    Bring it on!

  14. Fishframe says:

    I wonder if Phillip Thompson will be as hard working as Ewen Jones was for the LNP? I noted with interest that the tactic used for Phillip Thompson leading up to the election was to stay low key. Something to do with his outlandish social media comments on terrorists I assume ….. I know he had PTSD as an excuse, but still outlandish. I am happy to see him get in, my biggest fear was a Labour Federal Government, a Labour State Government and a Labour (bipartisan my a…) Council. We would have all been Labourised under an already “democratic dictatorship” system.

  15. Alacan says:

    Many years ago I was told that there is no hater like a labour hater and over the many years I’ve seen that surface or simmer in many fields of play

    The mullet is the classical personification of that

    The cynic in me jumped out of the blocks with Gladstone worker got the dcm .. imagine the vitriol that played out after shorten short circuited on that one

    Also You see it in the likes of the apparent left leaning commentators today like Caro and Adams who just can’t accept that if it’s not their view than its not a worthwhile view

    I reckon the likes of the aspiring labour leaders demonstrate the ingrained hate given the nastiness on display iby plebs in her appearances .. so the band plays on as the rivets pop.

    Those that vote in local government vote in state government and vote in fed government elections .. they are all the same people who by and large looking for decency, honesty consideration and focussed management of our affairs

    Even in his farewell speech shortens tone seemed forced disingenuous which still leaves you woundering .. who is the real bill shorten

    It seems so simple .. but they just don’t get it in the board rooms

    RIP Bob .. a truly great leader

  16. Dave of Kelso says:

    The three Puddleduck drones having been told to stay away from polling stations and keep a low profile, Aaron Harpic decides to leave town entirely and off to Magnetic Island.

    Having a grand old time that the Stage Door Theater until toward the end of the show, it was announced that the Coalition had won, and Qld had fallen to the LNP. Harpic took on the persona of someone offered a shit sandwich made with stale bread. Immediately all 4 at his table had their noses buried in their smart phones, taking in the news I expect.

    After the show he seemed particularly glum, with some folks trying to console him with hugs and pats on the head. I wonder if he can sense the electoral blood bath coming at the next State election.

    During the show (Grease LIghtening) there where were a number of derogatory jokes made at Kelso’s expense, number of stolen cars, personal hygiene of the locals and that sort of thing or similar. I understand Kelso gets a regular going over at the Stage Door and it was not because of Harpic’s presence. When these jokes were made Harpic did not bat an eyelid. I suspect that he does not know where the place is and that it needs a serious socio-economic face lift.

    The show was excellent in a fun, cheesy sort of way, and is highly recommended

    • Alahazbin says:

      Stewart turned up at the labor strong at Queens Park in his red shirt and cosied up to the AEC booth official within the 6 metre no go zone. The official saying it was ok because he never had a Team O’Toole shirt on..
      Incidentally, Thompson won the booth 453 to O’Toole 406 with preferences

      • I’ll be plucked says:

        Ala, Corporal Cupcake (Stewart) is toast – he’s gone along with the two other ALP state lemons. Two terms of nothing equals nothing! What he says amounts to nought and well, that’s equals NOTHING too!

        • I’ll be plucked says:

          Ala, my apologies Cupcake is in fact a Private now and has been for sometime – he keeps getting demoted for some reason???

  17. salty dog says:

    Just a quiet word amidst the brouhaha. Cathy O’Toole held Magnetic Island on a two-party preferred basis by 381 votes to the LNP’s 325. So you are welcome, dear Magpie, to visit this small haven of peace and sanity any time. There aren’t many left in North Queensland.

  18. Mike Douglas says:

    Labor supporters want someone to blame ( in denial about their policies and Shortens unpopularity ) and turned the blow torch on Queenslanders . The number of Facebook + Twitter comments about redneck V8 driving Queenslanders living in the past holding Australia back seemed to be the majority thread and “ I’m embarrassed to say I’m a Queenslander “ . Fact-check you latte sippers , Labor tanked in Victoria and Tasmania and I think only lost one seat in Queensland Herbert .

    • DEADTOOLE says:

      Red neck v8 drivers ??? We have a red one driving around the walker street chambers alot. I think it’s female driver is trying to keep it moving so birds can’t shit on it, or is it eggs being thrown? Has anyone heard from NO MODE DREDGING

      • I’ll be plucked says:

        Vale on your recent passing Deadtoole – and stay out!!! :)


        I think my reminder/comments at the top of the column may have scared NO MORE DREDGING off. Either that or he/she is still in shock and undergoing grief counseling

        • Alex DeLarge says:

          Nah. The electoral office would be closed and the media officers logged off.

        • DEADTOOLE says:

          Hopefully she won’t be like general MacArthur, ” I shall NOT return ” pluka is there a union protest at the vale, ill be there on my lunch break tommorow if it is .

    • The Wulguru Wonder says:

      Indeed, I’ve seen some angry posts by Southern ‘progressive’ groups and their followers upset by the election outcome, where people are threatening to boycott products made in Queensland and our tourist industry.

      • The Magpie says:

        boycott Qld products? Tourism? Bit of empty threat, isn’t it?

        • The Wulguru Wonder says:

          Perhaps we’ll see a banana boycott?

          • The Magpie says:

            This is how dopey they are, those ones who say WE in Queensland are the ones out of touch – they’re talking jokingly about Quexit … The ‘Pie says ‘bring it on’, we’d be happy to cop ALL the mineral royalties and licenses that currently go a long way to supporting the exotic cafe habits of people south of the Tweed.

        • Jatzcrackers says:

          Yeah, the owners of Frosty Mango must be shaking in their boots !

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        Keyboard eco-warriors suffering relievervance deprovation syndrome.

        We do not need them up here with their bloody peculiar dietary preferences.

      • The (Mostly) Civil Engineer says:

        Despite all the hysteria, QLD didn’t actually move that much politically compared with other states. Take Tassie for instance where we could expect the Adani debate to have zero traction and the same or greater swings happened.

        Looks like the Green/Pinko/GetOff juggernaut just ran off the rails – or out of solar power.

  19. Memory Man says:

    On 21 April 2017 the Bulletin front page crowed about Magnis’ battery project. Two years later the company’s share price has gone from 71c to 20c.

  20. The Magpie says:


    The best post-election analysis to sum up some of the Short-comings of the election came from a Magpie mate, who gave a simople straightforward insight into the Qld vote. He wrote:

    ‘ The underlying structural issues remain pressing and the election result doesn’t do much to point a way to the future, but the shrill moralising from carpetbaggers only serves to corral people into defensive herds. I was reading a hard-core econometric paper recently on labour force dislocation across the USA by David Autor, which focused on the impacts of trade and automation / technology.

    The critical 2 dynamics were in the short term re-distributive issues (people losing out); and in the medium term, capacity to adapt. Mainstream economics tends to assume adaptation is frictionless and immediate. We know it’s not. Indeed, sustained losing affects capacity to adapt.

    Forestalling structural change is nye on impossible in the medium term. Protectionism makes one feel better for a little while only. And then the grind of structural change just keeps on marching through. Ludd could smash as many jennies as he could get his hands on, but in the end, the mills of Manchester rose to dominate the sky lines.

    Challenging times, which require real leadership and stewardship.’

    Amen to that, mate, we await the emergence of same.

    • Cappuccino in hand says:

      Pie, what have you and your bloggers got against coffee drinkers??? We boost employment heaps! A $5 cup provides a $4.20 gross margin to the cafe business!

      And let me add to your economics explanation of the election … the notion that pay scales have tanked in the past few years as a result of the government’s decisions is just so much rubbish. Employment in most parts of Oz is around 5% which is very close to “full employment”. So why isn’t supply and demand for workers driving up their price per hour? Compelling to this argument is the rapid rise in size and importance of the big technology companies … Apple, Microsoft, Ampersand, Amazon, etc.

      These companies are driving down prices across the board (exception: iPhone, ha!) which increases volumes but drives down margins. and most of them contribute the the rapid automation of human services that were not even considered under threat 5, 10 years ago. For example, our largest mining company is going for a goal of full automation by 2025! How many high paying jobs will that take out of the economy? All telcos are rapidly downsizing. The banks, same.

      The employment upside is cafes (not much money there), health and child care support (pay subsidies anyone?). Even high tech jobs are becoming commodities so pay scales are way down on norms of 10, 15 years ago.

      Poor old governments and oppositions are struggling big time with this new norm which is actually accelerating away from the paradigm they inhabit. Trade barriers are not the answer. We are not collecting the tax revenue of this change as global companies exist where there are no tax rules. So the messaging us poor old voters get from the pollies, mainstream news and lots of social media is confusing and way off the mark.

      The Uberisation of the workforce is the new paradigm where we’ll spend our downtime reskilling for our net paying role. Painful for those of us who have slogged through a uni degree years ago to be told to go back to school, often, to remain competitive. The first political party that gets its head around this will win big time.

      In the meantime the voters will cling on to the great memories of the 80s, 90s, 00s (go away John Howard and good riddance Tone) because the social protections worked better for the collective way back then. The future of the individual having to take control of their working life is here right now. Many, many are feeling left behind and disenfranchised. And it is starting to seriously impact the ballot box.

      IMHO :)

      • The Magpie says:

        Is that all you’ve got?
        (But a great phrase in there … the Uberisation of the workforce’ … nice one.
        And the automation of mines is something our Mayor Mullet conveniently ignored even when an Adani executive (the one with a lot of ‘j’s in his name) said they wanted to be the first in the world to be totally automated within a couple of years.

        • Cappuccino in hand says:

          Commentator on The Drum tonight referred to NQ as the Rust Belt. Ouch!!

          • The Magpie says:

            A lazy trendoid reference that sounds buzzwordy but is completely wrong .. the Rust Belt in the USA is an area where manufacturing has gone into rapid decline, exemplified by Detroit. Don’t think we have had any much manufacturing up this way to deserve that title … in fact, NQ is a great example of the wider Australian malaise … we dig up the ground and ship it overseas, BUT WE MAKE BUGGER ALL.

  21. The Magpie says:

    This is news?
    The Well Duh Headline Award this week goes to:

    • The Magpie says:

      And while we’re thinking about that … constantly … we get a self-fulfilling prophecy headline … one would’ve thought that ‘down tools’ would be the inevitable result of any such action.

  22. Grumpy says:

    Speaking of losers – where’s Tosswomble?

  23. LOL says:

    I was on a booth handing out how to vote cards and the union rep was there with his union handout Change the Rules – I gotta tell you – NO ONE was interested – even the hard working guys in their high vis vests and working boots were giving him the bird. And this was in a working class part of the neighbourhood – where you work damn hard for your pay.

  24. moment says:

    Queensland Jobs announced. Immediate Start 4 weeks contract. Semi remote location. Numeric skills required with experience in counting wildlife an advantage. Full camouflage gear provided including, hats and binoculars. Apply Jackie. Ref. PH 1300 HTM#90EE90

  25. 10cc of snakeoil STAT! says:

    Ahhh’ lovely to see the ALP bruvvers still looking after their own in the brown paper bag state.

    With the sudden departure of the little Stevie Beckett and subsequent worries about what will happen to his wife Shayne Sutton – she who was parachuted in to the NQ Regional Organisation of Councils as CEO and onto the Hospital Board.

    The good news is that she must have been found a sinecure somewhere else so she can scurry off to join her husband, as Tony Mooney has found a worthy replacement for her at THHS – the one and only Nicole Hayes who just happens to be married to young Dolan Hayes the ALP whiz-kid. Wonders will never cease with this ‘conga-line of suckholes’ (to quote someone famous).

    Have these people no shame and that little regard for the intelligence of the electorate?

    • The Magpie says:

      Well, think that needs to be tempered somewhat … for a start, Mrs Hayes is 1. qualified, 2. has never held political office, 3. hold s a responsible, community orientated job and 4. IS A LOCAL.

      Sutton was none of the above, and her appointment cynicism at its shining best.

      And having met her once or twice, Mrs Hayes is no suck-hole, whatever that may be. In this case, think it is wrong to visit the perceived sins of her hubby on to her.

      • The Magpie says:

        That is precisely the type of juvenile snigger that will never be published in The Magpie’s Nest … go and squeeze another zit and try to work out why all the pages of your Playboy magazine are stuck together.

        • Ducks nuts says:

          Fair call.

          However while the dirty little underbelly of how these appointments around town are being made is not being exposed, the cocaine and sex parties will continue among the elite of our city.

      • Alahazbin says:

        But still part of the labor gravy train.

        • The Magpie says:

          Certainly … soon to be the LNP gravy train. When it comes to entrenched politics, as George Orwell pointed out in Animal Farm, it’s increasingly hard to tell the pigs apart from the humans.

          • Alahazbin says:

            Yes Pie, your right.
            I remember when the LNP had control of the Hospital Board, there was a certain pharmacy owners younger wife was on the board. What she brought to the table, nobody knows.

          • The Magpie says:

            Drugs, maybe?

  26. 10cc of snakeoil STAT! says:

    Fair point Magpie,

    So this isn’t just a way to funnel another $50k or so into the Hayes household as a way of saying “thanks” for all the favours Dolan does for the party?

    The paper reports her as an ex-teacher and EO of Legacy – where a little research suggests she was similarly unexpectedly appointed to a nice little earner with limited responsibility.

    A nice lady she might be, but this has the smell of another ALP payoff to we at the hospital. The calibre of THHB members continues to plummet while the needs grow.

    • The Magpie says:

      Indeed you may be correct in your underlying assumption about it being a ‘thank you’ appointment, but in Mrs Hayes case and several others, it seems a bit unfair to wipe any positives in that broad brush manner … doesn’t matter who holds the whip hand, the spoils of these types of positions will always go to fellow political believers. Doesn’t make it right, but it remains a fact, and one only whinges when one is temporarily on the wrong team.
      And a word of warning Snakey, you’ll have the feminazis after you for suggesting that Mrs Hayes has no merit for the appointment and was purely because of her husband’s past services to a political party. Can hear them charging up the battery and oiling the nipple clips already.

  27. Mike Douglas says:

    I think Tony Mooney was like Sportsbet and went early on Hospital board appointments expecting a Labor landslide . What about angry Aaron Harper having a go at Phil Thompson for not returning his phone call about the ring road when the AEC havnt even called Herbert . Aaron doesn’t rate any of the companies that signed the Adani pledge so does it include the Cowboys ?. He sounds like Chris Bowen telling voters “if you don’t like our policies don’t vote for us “ and we know how that worked out .

    • I’ll be plucked says:

      Mike, Harpic seems to have his head up his arse. You’re reference to the AEC is indeed correct.

      The failed and failure of a ‘politician’ Harpic thinks he can throw his weight around with the newly elected federal member. Pluck off Harpic, you continue to embarrass and show us all how inept you are, on a daily basis!

  28. Ducks nuts says:

    Gird your loins, the panic has started and the survey phone calls have begun with the big question being
    Who would you vote for if the state election was called tomorrow?

  29. LOL says:

    Yes – saw Aaron’s post to Phil Thompson on Facebook – started off by saying even though its my birthday I’m working hard … and I contacted Phil today to discuss the ring road but he has not called me back yet ( this was about 1.30 pm.)
    Aaron then proceeded to get lots of happy birthday messages from his union mates!
    Aaron – what presents did you get for your birthday? Oh, that’s right …. a THUMPING in the polls from the people of QUEENSLAND. Tick tock Aaron – tick tock….

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      Hard at work on his birthday. God bless his little cotton socks. It must be the only day of the year when he is hard at work.


      That road sign vicinity Yut Fay Av reminds all on a daily basis that you are a self-centered fraud.

      • Dutch Reverend says:

        Spot in DoK. He also plastered his face on a bill board that we have to drive past each day bragging that he delivered Stage 1 of the Riverway Dve duplication. That would indicate that there is going to be a Second stage at the very minimum. How’s that coming along Harpic ?

      • cobalos says:

        Yes, Bless his heart

  30. Dutch Reverend says:

    I think it’s high time the Labor party stops blaming everyone else for their catastrophic failure and look at how they campaign in every single election both Federal and State. All they ever bang on about is Health & Education. It gets pretty boring. (YAWN) When they say this, what they really mean is ….. we can throw money at loading up these departments with personnel so the unemployment rate gets a quick fix, regardless of whether we get a better outcome or not. Health & Education, Health & Education, doesn’t anyone else in the country do anything ? They put a lot of people off side by neglecting to give credence to everyone else in the workforce.

  31. salty dog says:

    I reckon we should all be taking a closer look at this franking credits imputation whatever stuff a bit more closely. Money for jam. Fantastic. No wonder Australia is the only place it happens – talk about the lucky country. In fact I’ve got the chancellor of the exchequer looking into it at the moment and she reckons she can make old Salty Dog great again. Good ole Scomo. Hope it doesn’t send him broke.

    • The Magpie says:

      Good to see you’re on top of the vital issues.

    • Rumpy Pumpy says:

      Tax credits for shares was brought in by paul keating. The labor party took a hard left turn in their wilderness years under Howard; by the time they returned to power under Rudd they had become deranged. No wonder they lost under bill, where was 160 billion of spending coming from?

    • NQ Gal says:

      The ability to claim franking credits meant that my dear mother didn’t start claiming a pension until she was nearly 80 rather than 60. The way I see it, the modest amount she got back, was far less than the cost of her being on a pension and claiming all those extra benefits that go along with having the magical “bill it to the government” pension card.

  32. I’ll be plucked says:

    Re the front page of the Astonisher today – is this not what all of them should have been doing for the last two terms – actually representing us and fighting for us and not always the party line?

    It really is far too late for Private Cupcake, O’Rort and Harpic – these three state ALP drones chose the party over the electorate and do not under any circumstances deserve a third term!

    Pluck me you three stooges, surely even you can see this!

  33. Dave of Kelso says:

    Annie Puddleduck tinplating her own arse in the light of the Fed election.


    • I’ll be plucked says:

      More delays Kelso and yet another plucking meeting!

      • I’ll be plucked says:

        PS Kelso, yes more meetings with the Premier taking no direct part. She thinks we’re all fools – another delaying tactic that she thinks will appease the Green loonies and help her avoid any responsibility. Time for a change of Premier and Deputy Premier me thinks.

  34. Scientician79 says:

    All this excitement over Adani and jobs continues to overlook the fact there won’t be anything close to the number being promised.

    The number quoted in court is around 1,400 and it’s likely to be a whole let less than that with Automation.

    I’m no fan of the Toole or the Shortun but the Labour Party missed a chance to really hammer Adani on the actual job numbers and future plans on automation.

    • The Magpie says:

      Agree entirely, but this is not a surprise to readers of the Magpie’s Nest … the old bird has been banging on for ages on this very factor. And Mayor Mullet’s idiotic plans for an airstrip could never come with any guarantee of job numbers for Townsville residents.

    • Ando says:

      That figure quoted by their own employee was for the mega mine, not the scaled down version they’re wanting to build now.

  35. Dave of Kelso says:

    Dear ‘Pie,

    Listening to ABC RN news.

    Re Qld Govt support for Adani I nominate the Puddleduck for the Janus Two Faced award.


    • The Magpie says:

      Consider it awarded … and don’t forget the full title is The Janus Two-Faced BUMM award – Barefaced Unmittigated Mendacity.

  36. Alahazbin says:

    Gee! I’ve been waiting NMD’s synopsis of the election, but Puddleduck has made up for his/her absence. Chuckle, chuckle!

  37. Cantankerous but happy says:

    I can remember all of is nesters last year saying how bad it was for the animals of Townsville that the Mullet will be running the pound and how many animals would be put down by the callous shallow bunch of arseholes that we have for a council. Sure enough one year on and the RSPCA have released numbers that the Townsville pound puts down dogs and cats at 5 times the average rate in Qld, just amazing, bet she blames the unprecedented monsoon, revolting woman.

  38. Mike Douglas says:

    Premier Palaszczuk , “ Labor has let the people of regional Queensland down “ ain’t that the truth . So with the Premier and her parties jobs on the line she wants all the details on Adani on her desk by the Friday and is supposed to be in Townsville today to do what Joh used to say “ feed the chooks “ the media . Labor Qld stalled on Adani when Townsville has double the States average unemployment and 25 % youth because politically it was in Labor’s best interests . Based on the Federal Election is it correct that the nearest labor federal member in Qld is Nundah ( Swans old seat) still not declared its so close ? .

  39. Dave of Kelso says:

    I have been a fan of Political Correctness but I do believe in another form of PC. Public Courteousness.
    These vans often breach my form of PC, but there is another problem.
    They are not self-contained (no toilet). On recent trip to WA and back saw backpackers (on a financial shoestring) in these vans (known as WizBangs from the sound of their sliding door closing) staying at free camps designated for self-contained vehicles only. They have a look around then pussyfoot a short distance and shit in the bush leaving the site decorated with used toilet paper.

    These pricks would not do this in their own country but are happy to do it here.

    Apart from disease this behaviour gives local councils an excuse to close these wonderful places.

  40. I’ll be plucked says:

    Re the performance of the entire Qld ALP ‘government’ and the three head-nodding, inept and totally failed Townsville based ‘members’, three words only –


  41. NQBing4814 says:

    The Comrade Premier is furious and wants answers about ADANI now ? Did Comrade Treasurer Jacki the Green Bean Counter giver her permission to speak ? Just another delaying tactic me thinks.

  42. LMAO says:

    And now they are trying to promote Albo as a single father… boo hoo…. a single father for 5 mins (to an 18 year old ADULT) and they live in a million dollar home. Albo has never had a job outside the union nursery. Oh, and lets not forget, he was brought up in a housing commission home …. he was so poor ….. but his mother could afford to go on a cruise – and in quite nice style it looks.

  43. John says:

    Has anyone bothered to see that the LNP in QLD only got a swing of 1 percentage point? They didnt win on their own and far from it, with the AUP and PHON preference votes it gave them a massive swing of up to 12 percentage points.

    I am getting a little tired of people claiming they won when it was in fact the preferences that gave them victory by a country mile.

    • The Magpie says:

      Ummm, have a think about it, John. They DID WIN and are entitled to strut around a bit … your beef is how they won … and if LNP policies (or Labor’s for that matter – more likely actually) changed people’s preference voting pattern, then what’s your problem, welcome to democracy? What else can LNP people claim, ‘we won but? …’. Get over it and get on with it, mate.

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        I am a strong supporter of compulsory voting and preferential voting.

        Clive Palmer got the result he deserved.

        My question is; what effect did Palmer preferences have, and (possibly impossible question) voting patterns if Palmer was not in the picture at all?

        Interested in hearing from a learnered and qualified Nester.

    • Al says:

      Do you lose the unloseable (sic), or win the unwinable (again)? “They didn’t win”!! PHARQ !!

    • I’ll be plucked says:

      G’day John and if the ALP won it would have had Green and other preferences – both the ALP and Greens were rejected and the primary vote and preferences returned the LNP to govt. That’s our electoral system.

      Game over John, go suck a democracy sausage you plucker!

  44. Water Water Everywhere says:

    Yeah, another election done and dusted – I agree with the majority here Labor blaming everyone and their dog is not helpful. They were complacent and lazy. While they outlined their policies it was too hard for most to understand that a long term gain may require a short term pain.

    Sure, more money in the hip pocket is a neat thing (albeit that the first round of tax cuts will come a year late) – the hope that is left now is that we don’t have to repay this boon double and thrice in years to come.

    Its a shame that we are so blinded by short slogans and meaningless statements that we cannot look past these things. Clive is laughing all the way to the bank, the $60M or whatever it was is a great investment if Adani and by association his new Coal mine gets approval. Who honestly thought he A)wanted to be elected and B)gives a flying F about how much he spent to ensure future profits in the 100s of M.

    The greens, the usual rabble couldn’t get anywhere, and that’s not surprising until they actually try and change the public’s perception in earnest that the greens party is, indeed, not the tree hugging, anti vaxxing, kumbaya party that the populace think.

    Interesting to me is to understand what some folk understand when they say ‘long term jobs’ is that 15, 20 or 30 or even more years? Because thermal coal sure won’t be that.

    Did Labor do themselves in by being ‘the big target’? Probably… relying on the majority of Australians to see the bigger picture is deluded to the point of insanity, sadly.

    Anyway, can we now move on and at least work towards some projects that will improve the nation?

    Well done the Libs and ScoMo, even if it pains to say so.

    Here’s to hope. Cheers

    • The Magpie says:

      Simple point … whatever change is coming, is coming no matter what we do a the the ballot box. When we as a nation want jobs and prosperity by digging up our country and selling the dirt and rocks overseas (without even trying to value add here to create jobs and demand) then our fate will be decided beyond our shores, no matter for whom we vote. There’s a fable dimly remembered that spells this out.

      • Cantankerous but happy says:

        People always talk about value adding but the facts are we can’t compete in a global market on the value add. We have an advantage on the dig it up component because we own it in the first place, and automation will help offset some of our cost disadvantages, but our labor costs are just too high to value add anymore. I think Australia is moving towards that of Dubai these days, only on a much larger scale, , our core advantage is our wealth and prosperity, it’s why we guard it so closely and when some socialist tosser comes along and wants to start stuffing around with it, people get nervous and the reality of what is being proposed is analysed and the big picture does kick in, not just the big picture that the left want everyone to focus on. We only have to look at the power of our pension funds and the assets they own all over the world now, creating wealth for the average Australian who is doing absolutely nothing themselves in the process, just money creating money, it’s something we have become very good at, why screw around with it.

      • Lucifer's love child says:


  45. Scientician79 says:

    Interesting thread on the viability of Adani.


    Short summary, it isn’t viable financially at current coal prices unless the government gives them a lot of subsidies, and even then not great.

    • Fishframe says:

      Not viable at coal prices today, in Australia, but isn’t most (all?) of that coal going direct to India? The price to Mr Adani to get it to India may be greater than we know.

      • Punjab Pete says:

        Yeah, well, his BFF just got re-elected.

      • Scientician79 says:

        Addressed in the twitter thread – Adani still pay all the associated costs, and it will cost more than what they can currently buy coal for on the market.

        Makes the angles they’ve been trying through government investment all the more telling, a few freebies might make it cheaper for them than market price coal.

    • Ando says:

      Must be looney greenies eh!

      An interesting read S79, thanks.

    • Dave Sth says:

      My 2c worth & putting out there as an alternative, having worked as a contractor there a decade ago under a different owner. The coal aint great in quality but ok Thermal Coal, however it is close to the surface (Unsure where the LOX lines are we never went that far), and is well inland in a sparsely populated area with poor stocking ratios for agricultural purposes. There is enough green BS around about, IMO let them blow their money if and it isn’t viable so what? The bond will rehabilitate or the Chinese will swoop in & take over (More likely).

  46. I’ll be plucked says:

    TB – ‘New fertiliser plant promises nearly 1000 jobs……..’

    More shit from a hack of a Premier and Townsville’s inept and failed state ALP ‘members’. Another one from the book of ‘On the never-never’!

  47. The Magpie says:

    Snapped as the Gravy Train pulled out of Townsville for Brisbane … why wouldn’t they be smiling?

  48. The Magpie says:



  49. The Magpie says:


    Karma of the day.

    And even better, it bounced back out of the boat and got away. Should be more of it.

  50. Kenny Kennett says:

    Interesting happenings from the other side of the World semi mirrors the recent PHON scandal. But this is not a set up by AlJazeera, it’s rumoured to be the Russians. But the set up is similar, alcohol, women and far right pollies. Who’s next?

    • The Magpie says:

      Given that parameters of the set-up – alcohol and women, The ‘Pie volunteers to be the next corrupted. But knowing his luck, the right wing pollie he will get will be Malcolm Roberts … ARRRGHH! (How the fuck did that martian beat the nationality rules?)

  51. Alacan says:

    So .. the rot and serious rot sets in .. or so I hear

    Legionnaires disease detected at Civic Theatre

    If true then the planned and preventative maintenance programs are likely to have fallen over which would not be a surprise given the lack of qualifications and experience left in Councils key responsible departments

  52. Steveo says:

    Huge story on Jcu in the AUSTRALIAN today – but nothing in the TOWNSVILLE Bulletin – why?

    • The Magpie says:

      The Australian is paywalled … what was it about?

    • The Magpie says:

      So the answer is that Sandra Harding – founding member of the Gilded Few – wouldn’t like it, and might poke her tongue out at Jennna if it appeared in that magnificent organ.

  53. Steveo says:

    The Prof Ridd debacle and redundancies for staff who haven’t been informed yet.

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