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The Magpie

Sunday, November 17th, 2019   |   124 comments

In Townsville, Where There’s Smoke, There’s …. Mirrors. And Plenty To Reflect On This Week.

Seems we have a mayoral race of sorts, with Sam Cox finally deciding to joust with Jenny for the scarlet possum fur-trimmed robes of Townsville mayor. But like so many other things around here, it’ll be a cut-price contest, with Sam going it alone without his own team of candidates. That famous Magpie navel gets a good old gazing on this one.

Also, as usual, there is no shortage of candidates for The Magpie’s now-weekly award, the Golden Wristy for Wanker of the Week. You’ll never believe who’s pulled it off. Although Mayor-turned-fashionista Madam Mullet gets an honourable mention and Scott Capt Cupcake Stewart tries valiantly for two in a row, they get pipped right at the … ummm … last stroke.

And Mayor Mullet in bed with the Katter Party? That’s the word, among other (in)credible rumours that floated into the Nest during the week.

Plus America starts to get peachy keen on impeachment … our regular gallery from Trumpsylvania.

But first …

Now We’ve Heard It All … Fashion Tips From Jenny Hill!

It’s the best political guffaw since Scott Morrison told Malcolm Turnbull ‘I’ve got your back, mate’.

Screen Shot 2019-11-13 at 10.00.06 am

During the week, Mayor Mullet publicly dressed down and banished Clr Paul Jacob from a citizenship ceremony because of his ‘inappropriate dress’. This jaw dropper came to the attention of The Magpie – and subsequently The Astonisher – because our normally demure mayor chose to publicly call out her one political opponent on the Townsville Council for wearing a neat council polo shirt and jeans to the citizenship ceremony. Things got a tad heated, as fellow councillors and a group of people  who had been told they could be come citizens if they treated each other with respect and fairness, watched this loud political sideshow.  Mayor Hill appointed herself arbiter of – wheeze, gasp, snurffle – smart dress standards.

A shocked Bentley has recorded the moment for posterity.

Paul Jacobs fin small

Now this is an area The Magpie generally steers clear off, but it has to be said, Clr Jacob should’ve known better, because Jenny is renowned for her care and strict views in this area, making multiple political statements in her personal public presentation. From her devil-may-care, raffish hairstyling – denoting a willingness to be a bold, outside-the-square decision maker with little time for the everyday fripperies of life that occupy us ordinary folks …

Jenny Hill looking drac

…  to her conscientious recycling statement of always ensuring her wardrobe three or four outfits are neat-ish and more or less spic if not span, as she regularly rotates them, our mayor identifies with the average battler.

Jenny Hill and Maury Soards

This is also reflected in her selfless instance that until she leaves office, despite being personally very wealthy, she is purposely delaying much needed dental work, to remind those that she deals with face to face, whether it be in Canberra or Currajong, that she speaks for, and identifies with, her adoring Beverley Hillbilly devotees.

So she has every right, Clr Jacob, to point out to you – indeed to publicly shame you – for your selfish and un-North Queensland mode of dress. Remember, your personal grooming and dress standards reflect the respect you have for the community you represent. Learn from your leader – and Queensland Local Government rules

respectful coubncil conduct Screen Shot 2019-11-16 at 5.24.54 pm

Jenny’s Frank Confession To The Bulletin

Jennu not going anywhereScreen Shot 2019-11-13 at 11.10.32 am

Neither is Townsville, thanks a lot.

Wanker of the Week – And The Magpie’s Golden Wristy Goes To ….

Former Townsville resident Lozza Lancini!

Laurence Lancini

Laurence Lancini

Close run thing, with Mayor Mullet and her Vogue (Townsville edition) advice well in the running, as was Scott Capt Cupcake Stewart going for the consecutive double (more on him shortly) but Mr Lancini pulled it off to get this week’s  Golden Wristy …

Screen Shot 2019-11-16 at 11.38.55 pm

  … when he made the following statement in July when lobbing the Feds for taxpayers money for a Cowboys Centre of Excellence. n

Quote: ‘If we don’t get the help we need, our (the Cowboys) survival is under threat. That’s not an overstatement, that’s a fact.’

No Lozza, that more self-interested bullshit. If the Cowboys future depends on an expensive baby white elephant next to the big white one next door, then the stadium should become known as the Begging Bowl and the team renamed the Shameless Hookers. Why does the team need to train and have it’s gym cheek by jowl with the stadium – the Cowboys players have been putting in sub-par performances of late but surely they’e fit enough to once every two weeks climb onto a bus from a training centre elsewhere that hasn’t lumbered the taxpayer with further predations from your self-interested gouging of the public purse. And by the way, where’s the bloody parking for all those professionals sharing the centre from the Mater health Services and JCU?

Come to think of it, where is that new hotel of an uncertain future going to go now? You know, the one the council has given exemption to having to provide guest car parking, allowing the hotel to tell ‘em ‘go park on the street.’  Classy stuff. The desk clerk might also tell guests not to worry about parking fines, kiddy crims will probably have stolen the car anyway, so no worries on that score. Unless of course, the shadowy connections behind this phantom hotel hoopla have been told that parking officers might somehow miss ticketing vehicles parked within a certain area.

Sam’s Gamble

Sam Cox to runScreen Shot 2019-11-16 at 11.41.07 pm

It has been noted here before that Sam Cox’s stuttering, will he/won’t he political prick-teasing hardly gives one confidence in his abilities of decisive leadership, and even now, with his hat wafting gently into the political ring this week, his strategy of running without a team needs to be carefully examined. Because it is either a masterstroke, or a disaster inviting Jenny Hill back for another destructive four years.

Cox maintains that he wants a back-to-basics emphasis in his campaign, restoring shattered civic pride lost to local neglect that favours of grandiose plans that have been mostly botched over-promoted nonsense. Like the Woodstock land giveaway to a battery company whose share price has tanked spectacularly. (Magnis shares closed on Friday at 11 (that’s eleven) cents.)

It is yet to be seen if Sam’s earnest gamble has any hope, and what the business community think about it. They are almost entirely in the ABJ (Anyone But Jenny) group, but that might not be enough to counter voters in the ‘burbs who still tie their pants  with rope.

So here are the scenarios as The ‘Pie sees them.

1. Scenario: Sam wins, but several sitting councillors get returned, like Mark Molochino. who fancies himself as mayoral material. A united block of councillors could form a majority, and suddenly, we’re back to a Townsville First situation, a powerless mayor with nobbled leadership standing. All Sam’s good intentions suddenly seem naive, because the block will vote however they decide, (that’s democracy) and whatever may be his aspirations for good governance, they will be subject to their whims. Just as likely, several members of Jenny’s ‘new look’ team could get in while she doesn’t, and they seem to be backed by clandestine Labor funding. And that’s a whole different variety of clusterfuck. (More on that shortly).

2. Scenario: Several councillors who have decided to stand again (at least three won’t) may support Sam, because it is not idle speculation that a number of them are tired of Jenny’s performance, manner and lack of real effectiveness, making it harder for them to keep their jobs.

3. Scenario: Townsville business interests are not convinced Sam is their man, and field their own candidate and team with financial backing that would otherwise have gone to Sam. That would make it a three way contest for the mayoralty, and the most likely event then would be Sam is sidelined by an electorate who want leadership, not shit fights. But a three way would not necessarily see Jenny waltz back in – if the business candidate is well credentialed and appealing to voters, he/she could still roll The Mullet, she is so much on the nose. Sam is unlikely to pull away significant votes in this scenario.

3. If a third suitable candidate emerges, Sam may well make good on his words of caring for this community (which is undoubtedly true, up to a point) and do a deal to withdraw from the race and support the third candidate by standing as a councillor in a suitable division.

But as you will see in the following item, anything and everything is up for grabs, with any number of players willing to put up a chaos ball that won’t do our poor old city much good.

A Clayton’s Council? Local Labor Is Seething.

It’s amazing the inside information that floats this way. A lot doesn’t see the light of day for various reasons, but the following was gleaned from trusted sources in the past few days. The ‘Pie takes a punt on what he believes is fact and what is rumour.

  • Fact – Mooney, Dolan Hayes, Jenny and a organiser from a Brisbane Labor MP’s organizer met in Townsville last week.  This really pissed off genuine Labor people, who are hopping mad at the prospect of using Labor resources for what publicly will be an independent team. There was a suggestion that Jenny may make an honest woman of herself and revert to being openly at Labor’s beck and call. However, this would seem a tad unlikely, with the state Labor members in so much trouble, running an official Labor council ticket next March would be – to use Sir Humphrey Appleby’s famous descriptor – ‘courageous’
  • Fact – Tony Mooney has been helping Jenny interview possible candidates
  • Fact – Maurie Soars was asked to move from his division to run against Paul Jacob – which he refused to do
  • Rumour- Russel Lewis who ran with Jenny before  may run against Paul Jacob
  • Very very strong  rumour – probably a fact – Katter Party federal candidate Nanette Radeck – was asked to run against Paul Jacob– believed she is running but may not be in that division. Who asked her was not mentioned, but would seem obvious from the first point.
  • Fact – Nanette has had a number of meetings with Jenny – even hanging out at her office. 
  • Very strong rumour from good sources – sit down you will love this – Stephen Becket was promised help to get into the seat of Mundingburra if he went ‘quietly’.  Now, quietly is not a word ever associated with The Screaming Midget, but he did leave the council more or less without fuss, so where does that leave this suggestion?

Put those razor blades away, it may never happen.

Scott Stewart Trips Over His Own Fancy Footwork

You can almost smell the desperation. First we were treated to this bit of expected political poppycock this week.

Screen Shot 2019-11-11 at 10.10.44 am

That just about summed up Palaszczuk’s total lack of awareness of the depth of animosity towards her and her government over its criminal inaction over the actual criminal action in this city.  It is the weasel word ‘confident’ that betrays the underlying arrogance, not opting for the usual ‘underdog’ cliche. And the contempt in which her three incumbents are held just deepens by the day.  During the week, Scott Stewart took a leaf out of the TEL playbook (taking credit for someone else’s effort) and tried his own hand at some smoke and mirrors, kidding us he had something to do with this.

Screen Shot 2019-11-16 at 9.37.56 pm

(That pic is of the associated Big Rocks weir site.)

Since the article was presumably prompted by a Stewart media release, it began:

Townsville Enterprise is able to start a detailed business case and environmental impact statement for the Hells Gates Dam proposal after a $24 million funding deal.Member for Townsville Scott Stewart said the State Government had signed an agreement with TEL under the National Water Infrastructure Development Fund.“In the coming weeks TEL will be able to begin sourcing engineering, geotechnical, economic, environmental and construction cost assessments,” he said.“I look forward to seeing detailed analysis that the people of North Queensland and government need to be able to understand the viability of the Big Rocks and Hells Gates proposals.”

This is the sort of half truth – not to mention doubting note of ‘viability’ signally an escape clause if necessary later – that will see Mr Stewart back knocking Education Queensland’s door, seeking work after the next state election. All this dough was Federal money, part of the $54million coalition election promise, which required simple agreement from the state. That the Palaszczuk Government signed off on it was simply a pro forma matter … the performance of our three blind mice needed something, anything, to hang on to, and blocking this deal out of inter-party spite, would seal what is their inevitable fate anyway. And there is little doubt that the gormless Cupcake, Harpic or O’Rort had any input into an obvious decision.

They just don’t get it, do they?

While We’re In That Territory

Screen Shot 2019-11-06 at 9.49.36 am

That article Info from excellent little industry mag IQ Queensland, run by former Townsville ABC journo Rob Dark, and curated by former Townsville Bully journo Belinda Humphries.  It also featured a backgrounder on the proposed revised Bradfield scheme, to turn water back inland from North Queensland. Here is is for the those interested.

The Magpie Is Green With Envy


Marina Hyde

For a long time now, The ‘Pie has been an unabashed fan of Guardian columnist Marina Hyde, who is one of the best serio-comic writers to come out of Britain since Evelyn Waugh.  She covers both sport and politics – the latter mainly American and British, she is based in London –  and regularly shows she is the master (mistress?) of the withering, hilarious put-down. Her keyboard can be radioactive. Here are just three recent examples – prompted by the chaotic political Brexit shambles –  to delight those who appreciate great use of that deadliest of weapons, barbed language.

On Theresa May.

On the subject of presumably competitively priced after-dinner speakers, what a week to learn that Theresa May has been signed up to the circuit, believed to have fought off a bid from the speaking clock for her services.

On Nigel Farage.

The bad news is that millions of cubic litres of demons have been released in the past three years; the worse news is that it’s the people who opened the box who are now charged with rounding them up.

And she is unrelenting when it comes to Boris Johnson.

So let’s play out this first week of the election campaign with the prime minister shambling about, like the grotesque illustration to some cautionary nursery rhyme.

“Boris was so self-obsessed / It quite devoured all the rest / Nothing but a husk remained / To his ego was he chained. / Here he gurgled on the telly / Droning about vermicelli / There he mumbled customs vows / His own supporters raising brows. / Children out for number one / Start with friends but end with none. / They’re left quite mad and most unhappy / Needing several kinds of nappy.”

As a Magpie mate so often says when sharing her gems ‘Fuck, she’s good.’ The ‘Pie is soooo jealous.

And Now To The Home Of The Rave And The Land Of The Plea

Things are moving quickly now, with Trump’s boorish, bogan behaviour breaching new levels of desperation, as more chums are jailed and his almost treasonous behaviour is detailed in impeachment hearings.  Some people’s behaviour defies words, so let’s again do in pictures.

231851_rgbNick Anderson cartoon lk111019dapr 231736 lk111219dapr tt191112 231738 jd111419dapr lk111419dapr 231846 wpnan191113 111319tractionr 20191113edshe-b 20191113edhoc-a sb110919dapr_1 231885 0_1 sbr111519dapr


That’s it for an eventful week, folks, plenty to talk about in comments in the coming seven days, get in there.

And it’s about now each week that The ‘Pie usually makes a half-hearted attempt to get you to part with a donation (and sincere thanks always to those who already have) but right now, due to technical problems with the blog over the past week that required expert attention and the annual hosting fee ($300) that has landed, along with some smaller associated matters, some assistance is urgently needed. If you enjoy this weekly load of old cobblers and feel it worth helping The Magpie stay in the good graces of the cyber powers, the donate button his below. My sincere thanks to those who come to the rescue.

The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. Polythene Pam says:

    Dorothy Parker was American ‘Pie.

    • The Magpie says:

      The ‘Pie stands corrected, Polly, as does the blog now (Evelyn Waugh now replaces her… and yes, we know Evelyn was a bloke). Thanks for correcting a long held notion (for some reason) that she was Scots.

  2. The Magpie says:

    The kiddies have been into the iditor’s drinks cabinet again, drunk as lords on the job.

    And ‘construction’ – the precise opposite of what is intended – also appears in the body of the story …IN THE FIRST PARAGRAPH.

    MONDAY, MARCH 9, 1903

    TOWNSVILLE is a scene of utter construction after Cyclone Leonta ripped through the community, leaving 12 people dead and scores of residents injured.

    You can bet that didn’t appear back in 1903, when the story first appeared. 116 years later, and you can’t get it right. Surely a word with writer Michael Thompson, whosoever he may be, is certainly merited, followed by a look at your stingy ‘overworked subs’ policy.

    Jenna, when are you going to do something about this idiocy? Not only to you insult readers on a very sensitive local subject – albeit in this case historical – but in a story that involves 12 deaths.

    • The Magpie says:

      Training day at the Townsville Bulletin:

      Reporter to editor: Jenna, what’s a metaphor?
      Jenna: My life is a train wreck.
      Reporter: We know, Jenna, but what’s a metaphor?

  3. Private Cupcake says:

    IF I lose my state seat Magpie, I have plenty of options. The Premier has told me she will reward my unwavering support for her and the South-East corner over my two terms. I know, I know, jobs for the boys/girls, but why should I miss out?

    I also frequently hangout with unions and love doing policy stuff, so there is a spot for me somewhere I’m sure. Failing that I can try education as you point out, I could be out of date there, but can have a crack as a backup. I won’t lose though, this is a Labor town.

    PS – don’t forget I am technically a Private now, as I have been rank-busted a number of times for supporting the Premier, but hey you’ve got to cover all bases haven’t you? Goanna!

    • Private Cupcake says:

      PPS: Townsville Mayor just rang me Magpie, she said she can fit me in, no problem, IF I miss out. Thanks Jen. She must read your blog.

  4. City dweller says:

    Why is TEL getting this money for the same? What qualifications do any of them have to handle this money. They cant be in charge of building it, they aren’t a developer or constructor? This is a rort. They aren’t an elected body even though they have elected corpses running it.

  5. 132 Days says:

    Seems to be some consistency in Beckett rumours.
    When he first arrived in Townsville the story was he’d been told to leave SE QLD by the Labor party as he’d had a couple of failed runs at State and Federal seats. And was sent to the north, to run for Mundingburra. A classic duck shove by Labor.

  6. Why is it so? says:

    Can we please get rid of local government? Local governments, prioritise themselves and make terrible decisions that keep costing us a fortune. Each town just needs an administration that is audited yearly and is transparent with its spending. We would be so far ahead without having new leaches every 4 years.

    • The Magpie says:

      Excellent idea. But to use Leigh Sales favourite buzz cliche, let’s unpack that, shall we.
      Administration appointed. But administrator needs to know what needs doing around the place and what might work to beef up jobs and morale of the citizenry. Not sure bureaucrats are in touch with community needs and even do-able desires, and his/her contact is with almost solely influential business people at various functions and TEL ‘breakfasts’. So he/she decides to appoint a panel of citizens to additionally advise him/her with the view of the ‘man in the street’ and ratepayers. To this end, various groups in various defined areas of the city – let’s call them ‘divisions’ – are asked to put forward candidates to represent them on this panel. So the groups meet and vote for the person or persons they think will best represent their views to the Administrator. This group if formed and now it needs a name so let’s call them … ummm … err .. oh, I know, let’s call them the Townsville Council. First item of business … the administrator is to be called ‘the mayor’ and the ‘council’ group overwhelmingly votes that in future, the administrators now known as mayors should be chosen by popular election among the citizens, particularly the ratepayers. Let’s call this a mayoral election. The government agrees, because arbitrarily appointing a public servant is likely to result in less control of events that could impact on state elections, and the ability of the government to bestow one-off favours – let’s call it pork barrelling – and just to emphasis thr desirability of the arrangement, the government passes a law allowing political parties to bypass the ‘division’ meeting and candidates and field teams to join the panel. The next logical step is that the mayor be drawn from the ranks of the resultant teams.

      Like we said, excellent idea, as the insurance meerkat says ‘Simple, no?’.

    • Arthur Itis says:

      Nah, I reckon the way to go is make the Mayors and Shire Chairman/person the local member. This would slash the number of sitting MP’s by around half (with a total reduction of around 150) and decentralise power out of the SE corner. Stuff it, while we are at it, let’s bring in elected judges and magistrates, might get some action on the little snots then.

      • No More Dredging says:

        Good thinking, Arthur. But where would the “local member” meet up with other local members to conduct the business of the state – you know, the Parliament? If they headed to the state capital every other week there’d be no ‘mayor’ in town to deal with the local business. I know, I know – walk and chew gum at the same time. But this multi-tasking thing is quite a challenge and looking around at the local talent I’m not sure there would be enough to go round. Look how hard it is to find a couple of half-competent mayoral candidates let alone an actual practicing one.

        • Arthur Itis says:

          OK, under a snowflakes and hell scenario, Brisbane would still be the centre of operations however due to increased regional representation this could easily be modified somewhat.
          The mayor’s role would be more along the role of a current MP with councillors acting somewhat like support staff with the deputy doing the daily glad-handing.
          Perhaps by changing the system it would curtail the party system somewhat and get some independence happening and better quality candidates instead of party hacks.

  7. Jenny Hill’s Dentist says:

    If Sam’s Cock is the only opponent to ‘she who haveth bad teeth’ then we are truly up to our eyeballs in Townsville shit. Without a support team of fresh Councillors to support him I don’t think the current trough swillers will turn on Hill. Might as well give the job to Kevin ‘Mr Airport’ Gill.

  8. City dweller says:

    Wow mullet is getting pasted on bulletin Facebook again. How fucken dumb is she. I see our regular wanker ( maybe next week’s award winner) guy Reece still trying to blame Townsville first for all the city problems. Everything from borrowing to privatizing. I’m not sure if he really is a person or just some computer program sent in as a virus when he comments. It’s just unbelievable that someone can be that blind and stupid at the same time. Whoops forgot we have a deputy mayor too.

    • The Magpie says:

      Guy will never be in the running for Golden Wristy … The ‘Pie has a firm policy of not mocking the privately afflicted.

    • Outsider says:

      Well city guy Reece is a labor party member to the water root. Very deep in there. He ran for council against jenny lane and miserably lost. He has his own little world going on and for some reason just can’t get tsv first out of his mind. I see Sue Blom is running against Jacob. Of others from tsv first run as well it would be a blessing. Just depends on which ones. I won’t be voting for Vern again though. Guy believes that Townsville still should be living in the pre cyclone althea period. No high rise on the strand, beer prices at 95c and having a street sweeper on every corner in case the leaves fall from his tree. One can only hope that sanity and the locals who just delivered LNP back to Herbert will not vote labor council back in. It doesn’t need to be an LNP council either.

  9. Old Tradesman says:

    Word on the street is that a high profile ex basketballer of the female species is going to run with Jenny. Jenny has already organised lots of ratepayers monies to help her along.

    • Dave of Kelso says:

      Spell it out! Veiled speech does not assist communication. Expose the gory bits to the harsh light of day.

    • The Magpie says:

      How has she organised that? Doesn’t sound possible.

      • Alacan says:

        If Old Tradesperson is right on his primary claim look no further than members of the disbanded TCC Project Management Team.. but if that is the case so what ..

        His secondary claim would be pure conjecture based on an individual’s previous and or current primary employment.. either full time or part time … very very long bow and probably does a disservice to informed healthy debate and to individuals who provide a service to the community in a number of ways . If certain individuals choose to step into the political arena it may play well to have an operational player in the team.

        Lets keep it tight bloggers , slam dunks abound from the piss poor performance of this Council .. no need to foul up on the way..

      • Kenny Kennett says:

        There’s one that comes to mind. An employee of TCC, former Coach, former player, former import and has been living in Townsville for years. She won’t be standing for the good of the city – it will be for whatever she can get out of it. Perfect for the Mullets team if it is so. After what(former Mayoral aspirant and Tvl Fire Chair) Jane Arlett did to keep the Fire in the competition, you wouldn’t think that any of the former Fire leadership group would support the backstabbing Mullet down the track. But these career girls change their minds like they change their hair colour; so the big pay packet and back room perks will draw any trough swiller to the piggery.

  10. Alahazbin says:

    Dolan must be running the show again. Very astute of them to get Nanette Radeck on side.
    What’s that saying of keeping your enemies close.
    Maybe she might be the third person to run for Mayor.

    • The Magpie says:

      Doesn’t sound like it from the info available, but you never know. Reckon a touch of the Katter philosophy (without the cackling inanities) wouldn’t go astray in Walker Street. Biggest problem for anyone is getting a team together.

  11. Mike Douglas says:

    New revitalised Team Hill 2 February Council election when does the Mullet start rolling out the sweeteners as Townsville voters are suckers for any discounts , just look at our retail mix . Does the Mullet care if Townsville Council has one of the highest debt to revenue in Qld $350-370 mil as she won’t have to worry if she loses and will her conditions be “ if I am re-elected or if my team is successful “? . As the Magpie says “ I’m not going anywhere and neither is Townsville “ if the Mullet gets another term .

    • Fishframe says:

      I think it is too soon to roll out sweeteners until she is certain the threat of litigation to the council over the Floods has passed.

    • No More Dredging says:

      Mike, not sure about your “2 February Council election” date. The election is on 28 March. This time around all candidates, including sitting councillors renominating, have to have “training” so that they all understand the rules. Not sure when this training has to be done or what date actual nominations close but anyone considering running will be well advised to get their head around these details early.

      • The Magpie says:

        Info all there on line with directions of what do and times lines … and reading the directions. not sure anyone could qualify without lying through their teeth just imagine Messagebank – or most of his colleagues, especially the mayor, for that matter – supplying truthful answers to these desired qualities.
        Do I have what it takes to be a councillor?
        Councillors and mayors demonstrate their enthusiasm for their local community every day. They draw on many skills, attributes and diverse knowledge to help guide their decision-making and to connect with their community in positive ways.
        Useful qualities for councillors to have include:
        • a commitment to behaving with integrity and in an ethical manner in adherence to the Code of Conduct
        • strategic thinking with an ability to engage with the community
        • effective communication and negotiation skills, including respecting other opinions, listening, mediation and conflict resolution skills
        • ability to analyse and problem solve to reach successful solutions
        • ability to work as part of a team
        • understanding of financial and budget processes and reports
        • time management and organisation skills
        • resilience
        • understanding, or be able to acquire an understanding of, local government legislation.
        Conflict of interest
        It is important to understand that councillors and mayors are required to inform of any ‘material personal interest’ or ‘conflict of interest’. These arise when a councillor or mayor has, or may be seen to have, a conflict between their personal interests and the public interests and could be of financial, personal association or other significant identifiable interest which may impact on a councillor’s decision making.

        • From the trough says:

          A couple of bullet points were left off that list Pie;
          • Must be narcissistic and believe ones shit doesn’t stink
          • Must be willing to travel extensively and enjoy taxpayer funded perks such as travel to conferences, be paid to sit on ones arse and do SFA, accept Board fees and sit around for hours discussing whose name to put on a street sign or whether the font size on Council employees shirts should be made larger
          • Must be able to collect brown paper bags early morning, late evening and on weekends
          • Must be generally incompetent, useless at managing orher people’s monies, enjoy licking the local Ministers arse and enjoy self promotion and pontificating around the town

      • Mike Douglas says:

        Nmd , meant to be Team Hill 2 ! Version 2 ! .

  12. Guy says:

    The wicked and the stupid should fear me.

  13. No More Dredging says:

    ‘Pie, how can we get to the bottom of these stupid claims that Clive Palmer MIGHT re-open the Queensland Nickel plant at Yabulu (for the nth time)? Federal minister Matt Canavan and TEL’s Patricia Whatsername might make a fabulous media couple but really, what do they know? What could they know? Canavan talks (on ABC radio at lunchtime) about a nickel/cobalt mine or “rare earths” near Townsville as if it’s possible to refine that stuff at Palmer’s Yabulu overloaded prehistoric junk plant rusting and leaking into the Halifax Bay mangroves. Yet we can all see that the joint is fucked. Why does the media just accept this bullshit? Is there not one half-witted journo in the entire Australian media landscape that can challenge Canavan or O’Callaghan (or Palmer for that matter) about the capacity for that plant to be just switched on and be back up employing 800 people. It isn’t going to happen. Clive might just as well be flying around on transparent wings and a little wand. Actually, I’d like to see that!

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      There would be as much chance of Yabulu opening as any of the other proposed projects that occupy a lot of headlines with little substance, the battery factory, Lithium refinery, Sconi project, and many others, at least Palmer has got something at Yabulu to start with, the rest are still brain farts in someone’s empty head, so why don’t you ask about the other projects as well Dredger, is it because your mate the Mullet is using the other projects to fool people something is happening in this town, which it ain’t.

      • The Magpie says:

        And keep a close eye on the stadium hotel deal, already delayed, and apparently set to be put kn the back burner. God knows what expensive liabilities Sam Cox will inherit if he becomes mayor. But at least we’ll know, Jenny has to keep winning, with a team of councillors and a newspaper that don’t difficult for her political Ponzi scheme to stay undiscovered.

        • Cantankerous but happy says:

          Indeed, they can’t get finance for it, but that won’t stop the Mullet pulling the golden shovel out of the cupboard for the sod turning just before the election to pretend something is happening, they will need to use it once the cameras are gone to clean up the bullshit she will be telling the gullible masses.

      • No More Dredging says:

        Cranky, I was asking a question about media tactics. In the past five years I haven’t seen one journo have a go at getting some facts about Yabulu. Not one. Every single time anyone asks anything about the nickel plant everyone, including the people who used to work there and know lots about it say nothing, or worse, spout bullshit. Now you are saying, ” . . . at least Palmer has got something at Yabulu to start with.” That’s worse still. Palmer’s got nothing to “work with” at Yabulu. The refinery is over, it is gone, the site is unusable. Why do you persist with this bullshit like all the rest? Why don’t you pull them up? You say you know people in business. What do they say about Palmer? Would they back an investment in Yabulu?

        • Mike Douglas says:

          NMD, so Clive spends $800k on an office and proposed further $2 mil putting in a lift etc, possible $5 bil in cobalt in the tailing dams that technology is available to extract . Does a deal with the administrators, possible legal action and media to get Port Access, pays the workers the entitlements , New Caledonia that needs the exports and will they stump up some $ ?. The exposure for Clive on environmental issues and clearing the site as per requirements surely would have to be over $250 mil .

        • Cantankerous but happy says:

          Missing the point as always tosser, I think Palmer has fuck all chance of re opening Yabulu, and that’s about the same as the other projects I listed, so why in your quest for some questions to be asked about Yabulu don’t you request the same questions be asked about the other dodgy claims about other projects around town, the answer is simple, because they would show your mate Mullet up to be the spin merchant of shit we know her to be, and highlights your hypocrisy.

        • No More Dredging says:

          Cranky, further to the above, today’s TBully encapsulates the issue:

          “Clive Palmer has threatened to launch a “public relations campaign” to discredit the Port of Townsville and the State Government, but his claims have been dismissed as “shenanigans”.

          I would have thought this would be a honeypot for any half-arsed investigative journo – the Q government and its Port are sitting on a huge amount of public documents about the state’s relationship with Queensland Nickel. There are claims and counter claims. Is there one journo in Australia who would care to drop an FOI request on a relevant department or minister? My bet is that the TBully would not touch it. No way, Jose.

          • The Magpie says:

            As a ‘half arsed’ commenter to this blog, Dredger, how do you know that some ‘half arsed’ journo hasn’t already ‘cared to drop an FOI request’ on these issues? And that they have been denied? Can’t imagine that some hasn’t, but at the moment, until you ascertain otherwise, just another ‘half-arsed’ comment.

            And just on we know the score to date, choose who you care to believe.

          • No More Dredging says:

            ‘Pie, Palmer claims to have “committed $400 million to reopen the refinery in Townsville in 2020″. Even for him it will take quite a while to spend $400m. But he won’t start spending until he has resolved his legal issues with the Port, Glencore and the QG all of which are on an ever expanding list as desired. Which means he always has an excuse to be doing nothing. No one has challenged the claim that spending any amount of money can resurrect the derelict plant at Yabulu.

          • The Magpie says:

            And what has that got to do with The ‘Pie’s comment on your comment, One Cheek?

          • Hondaman says:

            Re the lack of sensible reporting on the “possibitity” of the Refinery’s Second Coming, I and I’m sure a lot of you would like to see just exactly how much dough Clive actually owes to the support agencies shafted when the collapse happened! In total,- not the back handed deals done while he made a mockery of the Judicial system either!! Rumor said he owed the Port a million, and the rail wasn’t far behind, with Glencore probably another who accepted 10c. in the dollar. We in Townsville don’t owe Clive a thing, and for sure nearly all the ex workers will line up again, which is probably the only good to come of the whole sorry saga.

  14. Trevor Elson Political Thoughts says:

    I have been in the markets every 2 weeks for over 2 years with my political stall and the feedback I have received in that time is that people are over the team scenario due to the lack of accountability and transparency as has been reported over the past few years, whether people like Sam or not at least people have a choice for Mayor. I also have been given the information that Bede Harding (Senior People & Culture Business Partner with the TCC) will run in Division 9 instead of Colleen Doyle.

  15. Critical says:

    From what I’m reading, Townsville is ranked in the top 10 towns in the Shit Towns in Australia book and Cairns doesn’t even get a mention. Thanks Mayor Mullet for you great leadership and hard work to get this city such a great award, Townsville actually deserves better. The Facebook page of Shit Towns of Australia makes some interesting reading but I really couldn’t find any positive comments about Townsville on this page; well positive comments from the viewpoint people who actually care about the city. Cairns Mayor Bob Manning must have a smile on his face atm.

    • The Magpie says:

      Come of it, Critical, if you were a fish, you’d be gone first bite at daybreak … the book’s a rubbishy pisstake of undergrad … under bogan, really … humour. Not really amusing and a cheap try at causing outrage. No one’s going to fall for that, are th … oh, wait a minute. YOU DID.

  16. One legged tap dancer says:

    Can anyone tell me how the council election will be run – do we vote for a candidate in our division, or just vote for 12 councilors and they are then allotted divisions? If the latter is the case independents haven’t got a chance because the apathetic voters of Townsville will be too lazy to pick 12 individuals. They will simple take the Mullet’s how to vote card and follow the leader.

    • No More Dredging says:

      OLTD, there will be two (2) ballot papers – one for councillor in your division (based on your address) and another separate ballot only for mayor. You can look up the results for the last local government elections and see how it went in each division and in fact find the map for each divisional boundary.

  17. Critical says:

    No Pie, realized this book was a joke after reading through some of the sites Facebook posts. The real point is that if Townsville was a well governed flourishing and vibrant city, then this and other jokes and statements e.g the least liveable cities title wouldn’t be made but they are and they create a bad impression of the city a people from elsewhere know little better but will certain remember the city as one of those cities that was named in that book or survey and so on.

    • Coral C says:

      OK Boomer

    • Guy says:

      If only the previous council hadn’t blown up their bank balance and created a debt was difficult to pay back. Stop taking unsustainable debt and things will be just fine.

      • J. B says:

        Guy, are you referring to when team Hill gave Durie enterprise 800k? Or another one of the other bad dicisions?

        • Guy says:

          The speed bumps in the last few years are few.

          Townsville needs to break the debt addiction.

          • Kenny Kennett says:

            Now you’re saying something laughable. You are fucking delirious Guy. Please put your hand up to be a part of the Mullets team. She’s sure to lose if you’re a part of Campaign Hill. Even Dolan couldn’t cover up your stupidity.

      • City dweller says:

        Guy I actually went through a freedom of information a while back to see what last council really did with many voters and decision at council meetings. Interesting to see that during last term, I’m not cheery picking, but very obvious in voting that only a handful of items were blocked by tab first. Namly hard rubbish collection and rates freeze. There were around 3500 votes in this time and your labor mayor voted in favour of 97%. So when now claim the last council put us in debt well guess who was in charge. And supported it. Your welcome to do what I did it wasn’t hard but time consuming. Good luck trying to convince people mullet is better.

  18. George Gently says:

    Dredge you talk too much, most of it is crap and you appear to make up regular conspiracy theories. Get a life and stop the porkies!

  19. Jeckyl Island says:

    The economy has tanked. Lower interest rates and some pathetic little tax adjustments have done nothing to stimulate spending. People are frightened of what they can feel in their bones is coming. Inept Councils like Mayor Mullet’s have not future proofed us, but rather they have indebted us and our grandchildren. But it gets worse; we now have the “bail-in” provisions of the Financial Sector Legislation Amendment (Crisis Resolution Powers and Other Measures) Act 2018the bail-in system developed by the Financial Stability Board at the Bank for International Settlements in Switzerland, following the 2008 global financial crisis, to avert future bank failures not through government bailouts, but through writing off or converting into shares, a.k.a. “bailing in”, a percentage of the money that the failing bank owes to its “unsecured creditors”, a category which includes various types of bondholders, as well as normal depositors. The disgraceful Turnbull-Morrison government rushed this legislation through Parliament on 14 February 2018, with just eight senators present in the Senate chamber and without a recorded vote. We are screwed. George Carlin describes the monetary system this way; “It’s a big club, and you ain’t in it.”.

    • The Magpie says:

      Good info there, JI, but didn’t post your complete George Carlin quote. Too long and convoluted and too far away from keeping comments relevant to the local scene. Yes, we occasionally stray, but this would’ve been a lengthy distraction. Not that The ‘Pie disagrees with you or Mr Carlin, but there are many much better and more appropriate forums that The Nest for this world view.

      • Jeckyl Island says:

        Very true Pie. And I do thank you for the slight drift. But you are correct, the big issue at hand is local. I see that the Pentecostal speaking in tongues Hillsong loving Scomo has come out overnight allocating some instant funds for infrastructure building. It would seem that low interest rates aren’t enough to stimulate spending! No shit Sherlock, the world economy is collapsing and Herr Scomo thinks that building some extra roads will create consumer confidence!! I doubt it fool. These political Muppets who live in their bubbles surrounded by cash and wealth have no idea what the real world is like. Same applies to Jenny from the Townsville block, she has no concept of reality and is contributing to the demise of this town.

        • Cantankerous but happy says:

          Local govt is the most telling in regional communities, bigger cities have a volume and enough diversity to absorb market changes and even defy some poor decisions to thrive regardless, but with regional towns and cities it is near impossible to counter the impact of a poor local govt and in particular an incompetent Mayor such as Jenny Hill. Townsville has had plenty of $$ thrown at it in recent years by both state and federal Govt yet fails to even begin to lift itself off the floor and leverage this spending for any local benefit for one simple reason, the Mayor is a complete and utter failure and the other councillors reflect the same standard.

  20. Critical says:

    Another insane decision made by the union run QLD ALP government which will stuff regional QLD.
    Wonder how much our three local idiots gave this idea or did they just bow to union demands.


  21. Cranky Frank Jerkic says:

    So around three months ago we opened up a Coffee shop here at the Ayr Drive In (Silver Screen n’ Coffee beans) that is open till around noon, our Saturday n Sunday customers have asked if there is a bully or Sunday mail to read, answer was no
    So I decided six weeks ago to subscribe to the Sat Bully and Sunday mail paper delivery plus their digital access $26 a month

    Week one No Sat Bully but got Sunday mail so I filled out the thing on line saying missed delivery

    Week two No Sat Bully but got Sunday mail so I filled out the thing on line saying missed delivery, they rang and said it would be fixed for this weekend and extended my subscription for an extra week

    Week Three / Week four and week 5 No Sat Bully but got Sunday mail so I filled out the thing on line saying missed delivery also their customer survey form, where I put the boot into them and also cancelled my subscription, they rang saying sorry and would cancel my subscription immediately and I would be getting normal delivery until late Dec as I never got any papers – then the very same day they charged my credit card again

    Yesterday 19/11/19 Woods News in Ayr rang me and told me that they only deliver the Sunday mail and not the Bully as that has to be delivered by Lucky Black Cat Agency and could I get onto the Bully and tell them that as that’s their rule,
    I asked why don’t you do that as your the newsagent, she said that they ‘Woods’ have been telling the Bully that every week when the Bully sends them emails as to why they haven’t delivered Saturday Bully and maybe I’d have more luck stopping the Bully from emailing them and me thinking that Woods is not doing it’s job. Unbelievable – one would think that they would know who delivers their papers so they don’t lose new customers especially when their circulation is dropping

    • The Magpie says:

      Well, gosh, that’s a bit harsh, Franky, expecting some dimwit in Adelaide to know about deliveries in this part of the world … but that’s the way News Ltd is all for you. And The ‘Pie is greatly worried about those customers asking for a Bully or even worse, the Sunday Mail.

    • No More Dredging says:

      Onya Frank.

    • Cantankerous but happy says:

      Only be full of old news anyway, today a shooting at Rangewood just after 8.30, the Brisbane times had a short piece on their website at 10.30, at 11.30 still nothing at the Astonisher when I checked and was close to 12 before they put up the story, what a joke.

      • The Magpie says:

        Sorry, fair’s fair, Cankers, The ‘Pie received his first Bulletin email alert about the shooting around 9.17am, possibly earlier, but that’s the time I deleted it (don’t keep running story alerts).

        • Cantankerous but happy says:

          I don’t get the alerts, but nothing on the web page at 11.30 which I thought would be the main place to put it if you had a story to run.

      • J.B says:

        And yet the ABC was running the story before 10 am.
        and not even behind a paywall.

  22. The Wulguru Wonder says:

    Mr Pie, I see you get a (dis)honourable mention in dispatches in one of Aaron Harper’s recent Facebook sprays. You obviously have him rattled. (But don’t get too big headed, as he also rips into the Astonisher as well).

    • The Magpie says:

      Getting mentioned by a third tier former union official and emotional hunchback, when he takes time out from the trough, is hardly the thing to get The’Pie’s heart racing. And on bloody Facebook.

  23. J Jones says:

    How come hardly anyone uses their real name on here?

  24. Mike Douglas says:

    Large Sam Cox Mayoral Candidate billboard Showgrounds which should make the Mullets day driving past it to Walker street . Some former Councillors showing interest in running 2020 . Let the games begin .

  25. The Magpie says:

    The Lara Bingle Question:

    There appears to be a tad too much virtue signalling with a great dollop of hypocrisy over the appalling and criminal behaviour of Westpac.
    Westpac chief executive Brian Hartzer does not intend to resign, despite the bank being accused of breaching anti-money laundering and counter-terrorism finance laws 23 million times over, Nine reports.

    Financial intelligence agency AUSTRAC launched legal action against the bank yesterday, alleging “systemic non-compliance” with the Anti-Money Laundering and Counter-Terrorism Financing Act.

    23 bloody MILLION times? 23,000,000???

    The ‘Pie’s question is a simple paraphrase of Ms Bingle’s famous inquiry:
    With that number of breaches, surely you who are tasked to police these things, did have or should have had at least an inkling.

    The AUSTRAC performance brings another famous ad to mind.

    • The Magpie says:

      And interesting to note that the Lara Bingle ‘where the bloody hell are you?’ campaign in 2006 was overseen by the then tourism supremo … ta da … Scott Morrison. You know, the bloke who now leads the party that fought tooth and nail against a banking royal commission. Not merited, nothing ton see here, they said, move along.

      The Bingle ad was dumped after two years, judged ineffective … Morrison will get another three years before judgement on the same question is passed on him.

      • Alahazbin says:

        I don’t know why the uproar and indignation about that campaign was all about. Didn’t seem to offensive compared the the Northern Territories campaign “CU in the NT”. Not a peep from the regulators.

    • Jeremy says:

      You say: “With that number of breeches, surely you who are tasked to police these things, did have or should have had at least an inkling.” Breeches? an interesting word, but misused on this occasion, perhaps you mean breaches! Sorry to be picky, the ex teacher in me can’t help it.

      • The Magpie says:

        Picky? That’s what subs are meant to be, and you, as one of The ‘Pie’s many subs (sadly after the fact) always keep things on track. Thanks. Fixed it.

      • Pedant says:

        … at least an inkling.” As ‘…inkling”.
        The full stop should be outside the quote marks there, Teach.
        I wouldn’t have bothered except you’re a teacher, apparently.

        • The Magpie says:

          The Magpie is proud to boast more subs than the Bulletin (should the ‘the’ have a cap?) Actually, no, don’t bother, you’ve all worked hard enough for the moment.

  26. Israel says:

    Is Australia so bereft of talent in the Rugby world that we have to look to New Zealand for leadership at all levels.

    The CEO of Rugby Australia (Raelene Castle) is the daughter of kiwis Bruce Castle and Marlene Castle both of whom represented New Zealand at the International level. Bruce captained the NZ rugby League Team and Marlene is a lawn and indoor bowls international for New Zealand.

    In 2015, Raelene was appointed an Officer of the New Zealand Order of Merit, for services to sport and business. That said, Raelene was born in Wagga so I presume she is an Australian citizen, albeit with deep links to the land of the long white cloud.

    The appointment of Dave Rennie as coach of the wallabies in 2020 further firms up the NZ linkages.

    To be clear, I am not a critic of either Castle or Rennie. I am just disappointed we that cannot deliver Australian coaching to Rugby Australia.

  27. Dave Sth says:

    Was in Wollongong this week. Seems they can do something right that we can’t… WIN Stadium right on the ocean, convention centre adjoining & Steelers club just down the road… Each day I saw the convention centre packed. Much more practical than Lancini’s pet project…

    IMO Cox needs to run with a team, otherwise we will get the situation where Hill won the mayor & the council was mostly from the opposition. She was powerless. Also forget Blom, she was useless for the Northern Beaches but then we got Jacob so I suppose we are net in arears now. Choice of the lesser evil unless someone else puts their hand up…

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