In politics, publishing, soufflés and sex, timing is everything – get it wrong and everything falls flat. There were several instances this week.

Here in the Deep North, we should spare a thought for Cardwell. As if Yasi and bureaucratic cock-ups weren’t enough, is the town now in for a nasty goring … as in a ‘Craig Gore-ing’? Despite previous ‘who, whatme, nah’ denials (no one believes a professional twister anyway) The Magpie is told that Craig The Gougher Gore is setting up shop in Cardwell. Is this a big Uh Oh for the resurgence of the Hinchinbrook Resort? The ‘Pie examines.

Further proof this week the gloves are off in the ding-dong for the mayoral election in 12 months time, as Mayor Mullet makes no bones about her priorities … and guess what ain’t among them.

But cripes, Bentley has proved he really is a cynical bugger. Our resident ‘toonist was quite taken with the story about some sad twerp who got into Lavarack Barracks brandishing a replica gun with a view to getting himself shot. The boys in khaki declined to oblige, and after a bit of alarm, the bloke was hauled off by the wallopers. But Bentley envisaged the scene when the security mob first arrived at the barracks.

(Despite the inappropriate timing, it reminds The ‘Pie of the 70s joke about a four-seat Cessna that crashed into a Dublin cemetery shortly after take-off. So far, 854 bodies have been recovered.)

On a somewhat more sombre note is the question, is white shoe brigadier general Craig Gore coming back to infest us yet again? As reported here before, Townsville dodged a bullet when Gore, backed by Beattie and then Bligh, tried to pull a swifty over a canal development on the duck pond in front of Jupiters. Fortunately, he was seen off in jig time after a nasty barney with some international backers who weren’t the easy marks he took them for. He has since gone bankrupt twice, although everyone is wondering how he still manages to live in a multi-million Gold Coast mansion, paying $3000 a week rent and he and the missus tool around in three top-line cars (in his case, sometimes without his suspended license).

It is widely accepted that Gore has ripped off investors to the tune of millions, including was described as (a highly illegal) Ponzi scheme and his bankruptcy would simply seem a maneuver to avoid facing the music. There is a ruling on his naughtiness that is yet to be handed down and he could well end up in chokey if things don’t go well for him.

But like all his ilk, you can’t keep a scammi … err,  imaginative businessman down. Gore is said to be a ‘consultant’ behind a group called LTSC (Long Term Settlement Contracts) which promotes a scheme into which it would take a lot of investor faith to sink your readies. Doubts have already been expressed by some even-handed observers. Some believe the nominal boss of LTSC is simply a front man for Gore himself, who can’t be a director of company until and if he comes out of bankruptcy on 17^th of April. That is as it may be, and isn’t necessarily illegal.

But here’s the strangest thing of late. Gore has been ‘consulting’ to a group of Gold Coast white shoe brigaders who are in the process of buying the derelict Hinchbrook Resort laid waste by Yasi.

They all seem seem solid enough businessmen themselves (as far as The ‘Pie can find out) but the glaring question that sticks out like prawns eyes is why would anyone with an ounce of savvy have anything to do with a bloke like Gore? To yet again revisit that great saying of recent times, taking financial and investment advice from Craig Gore is like getting bushwalking tips from Ivan Milat.

Here’s The Australian report which included this  about Gore and the Cardwell sale last February.

‘Local sources said Mr Gore was about to relocate from the Gold Coast to Mission Beach, about one hour north of Hinchinbrook, occupying a villa in the district for at least six months. However, Mr Gore denied this.’

And so it might just be on the level … he’s not going to be in Cardwell, but Mission Beach!!! How could we doubt him?

But from The Coast, a ‘Pie pal sent this note of alarm two days ago.

Rumour has it that female Gore has been busy setting up new offices at No1 Front Street Cardwell. You may be interested to warn  the locals to hide their savings.

So is the appropriately named Marina Gore (one of the names she swaps around like handbags) setting up offices for hubby in Cardwell, as reported by The ‘Pie’s well informed source? Anyone know anything out there? Marina may not be around up here a lot, though, she too has been having her own arm wrestles with the ATO, which are on-going. And here’s just one recent judgement against Gore the Gougher, which should be enough to make anyone lock up their wallets.

Cardwell desperately needs the rejuvenation of the Hinchinbrook Resort, it would be a shame if all this just turned out to be just pie in the sky and just a platform for yet another investor scam. So let’s hope the foregoing is just ‘Pie in the sky …  but don’t count on it.

Here in the ‘Ville, it looks like it’s going to be a humdinger of an election campaign for the mayoralty next year.

Mayor Mullet, much buoyed by the state Labor victory and sounding much more sure of herself of late, issued a simpering little media release during the week about her intentions while hob-nobbing with the new cabinet and Premier Palaszczuk when it meets in Townsville for a couple of days, starting tomorrow (Sunday). It’s not long, and The ‘Pie reckons it’s worth a quick squizz, if only for what it doesn’t say.

Mayor looks to Premier for project support

Mayor Cr Jenny Hill will restate the city’s key priorities for investment, growth and infrastructure when Queensland Premier Anastasia Palaszczuk and her cabinet meet in Townsville over two days from this Sunday. Cr Hill said the meeting of full cabinet was prime opportunity for the community to voice their concerns and ideas for the future of Townsville.It was also a chance for council to highlight the significant economic contribution made by the city to Queensland’s economy and to ensure it receives a fair share in return.

“Bringing the first community cabinet meeting to Townsville is a very positive sign that the government intends to support the city and our region,” Cr Hill said.

“I have made no secret of the fact that we have a big agenda here and it’s important to ensure our region remains top of mind in Brisbane.”

Cr Hill, council staff and councillors will have the opportunity to sit down with the Premier and Ministers on Monday to discuss funding support for projects including capping works at the Hervey Range and Stuart landfills, major road network upgrades and funding for additional drainage works at Illich Park as part of the park’s redevelopment.

“I will also be keen to open discussion on the way forward in regards to the licensing conditions that were imposed on us by the former State Government that will result in significant capital costs at the Cleveland Bay Treatment Purification Plant.

“We have the fastest growing population outside of the Sunshine Coast and provide consistent economic returns and that deserves recognition. Our city has put its trust in the new government with the election of three Labor members but that trust needs to be repaid.

“There’s a big job to be done here and I welcome the opportunity to discuss Townsville’s future with Premier Palaszczuk.”

Note: not a single dicky bird about the super stadium.

Now this in interesting from a couple of points of view.

First … and don’t collapse with shock Mullet m’dear … but there are those who reckon you might have your finger on the electorate’s pulse more than some others who have fallen under the spell of the various urgers around town. Playing down the super stadium idea and putting other far more worthy matters ahead of it (something the Bulletin has consistently failed to even countenance or canvas for contrast) looks like pure … and smartish … politics at this juncture.

Especially since likely opponent Clr Tony Parsnip is on record as saying the stadium will be a major platform matter for him – at this stage.  Will it develop into a contest as to who’s right on this issue? Also, professional pollie whisperer Dolan Hayes, who The ‘Pie still reckons is the reason for a somewhat smarter Mullet of recent months – mainly by shutting about things she doesn’t have to talk about – has been out talking up the stadium as the paid shill for certain groups that could be described as self-interested.

But all that is overlooking the overall wishes of a powerful lobby of business people, including some who simply see the stadium as the right thing for this present situation. So the fun and games should start when the next budget is debated and hammered out. Who the big money backs in the long run will be an eye-opener. On your marks ….

To Canberra now, and fair dinkum, it seems all politicians are disappointed and failed thespians (NO, Senator Lambie, it does NOT mean THAT). If they’re not orating, they’re singing, or they’re dancing. WTF.

Former(?) political hardass Scott Morrison is doing his best to ‘humanise’ himself, no doubt with an eye to a successful run down the middle between Turnbull and Bishop when the spill comes (for Christ’s sake, hurry up!) His campaign has run into a bit of trouble when his old school, Sydney Boys High, invited him to a fundraiser as guest speaker. 300 of his fellow old boys, including professional moaner and serial whinger John Pilger, fired in an email to the organisers, deploring the move, and Morrison’s ‘human rights record’.

But the man now dubbed ScoMo did better earlier in the week, going back to school in Geelong.

As reporter Judith Ireland wrote:’ The renaissance of ScoMo from border security tough dude to social services cuddlemeister is continuing, with Mr Morrison posting a video of himself online, wiggling and singing with a group of children.

Not quite sure what to make of this, though. During a visit to pre-schoolers, the father of two young ‘uns seemed to know his moves when he led the kids in a Wombat Wobble Dance. We cannot confirm that before the dance, he told the kids ‘This is how I told ‘em to amuse themselves on Manus’?

NSW goes to the polls today, and while you never know if those who win government will keep their campaign promises, one candidate in Sydney’s west leaves you in no doubt what you’ll get … or in fact won’t get … if you vote for her.

Hey, can’t say it isn’t a multicultural country, anyway.

Australia’s 22^nd prime minister Malcolm Fraser, who died last week, aged 84, was farewelled at service in Melbourne yesterday. But there are those who will always find a step too far in their public commentary on the Fraser legacy, using it to continue the traditional attacks on the traditional opposition. As the headline says, when it comes to politics, publishing, soufflés and sex, timing is everything – get it wrong and everything falls flat.

In this case, it was neocon commentator Andrew Bolt, who made himself the Prize Chump of the Decade and the Steggles Egg On Face Man of the Year with an hilarious over-reach of using Mr Fraser’s passing as a platform to condemn them rotten old Lefties. Really, they were so nasty to Fraser when he was around, weren’t they (although he became their hero in the end)? Bolt had this bit in his column in Melbourne’s Sun Herald.

Trouble is, this attributed motivation to a person or persons unknown was hardly revealing anything new, or was even remotely true. Indeed, the terrorist leaving threatening messages was hiding in plain sight, and certainly did not ‘break in’ as biographer Margaret Simon revealed more than five years ago in her book Malcolm Fraser:The Political Memoirs. Turns out that years ago, Malcolm and Tammy about to go for their regular picnic on their property with their young children when Fraser was detained on the phone. When he finally hung up, he found the note, written by Tammy, who had already gone ahead. Thus ‘I’ll fix the kids, and be back after lunch for you.’ This is what is quoted as a lefty plot by Bolt. Did he really think no one would notice? Small dent in one’s credibility, perhaps?

So, to quote the great Effie, how embarrassment for The Dolt, but he wasn’t alone. Sydney’s Daily Telegraph showed their usual propensity for undergraduate humour when a dopey idea went from bad to worse. That happens, y’know, when being too clever by half tempts that ol’ fickle finger of fate.

This was the Terrorgraphs front page and their page 2 on Wednesday which inter alia says a lot about the paper’s priorities.

However, this was published well before there was any hint that the German passenger jet had indeed been turned into a kamikaze mission by the crazed co-pilot. Seems they can’t help being tasteless even when they don’t mean it.

Finally, a blatant plug for old Magpie colleague from the 4TTT days, truly accomplished artist Richard Lane.

Richard hides his shimmering artistic light under the bushel of mild-mannered accountant (ret) and some sort of academic dozing out at JCU, but don’t be fooled, he’s a clever clogs for sure.

Now The Magpie has a strictly limiting gush0meter, so he will let the council’s announcement of Richard’s exhibition hit some typical high points of hyberbole.

One of Townsville’s best artists will make a long awaited return to the spotlight this Friday evening with the launch of his first major solo exhibition in over 30 years. Richard Lane will present The Intuitive Landscape a selection of over forty new works celebrating the stunning Townsville landscape from Lake Ross to Magnetic Island, Hervey Range and Paluma. The artist’s works feature delicate, vibrant and lyrical veils of colour that effortlessly form the mountainous landscapes, forests, and ocean vistas. Lane’s 30 year love affair with north Queensland allows him to beautifully capture the essence of the natural environment; its shapes, its light and its colours.

Now The ‘Pie well knows that his readers, both of them, yearn constantly for delicate, vibrant and lyrical veils of colour – the need for which keeps Dan Murphy’s in handsome profit year round.

Here’s a few samples.

The Exhibition kicked off at Perc Tucker today, and will run until May 10.

While we’re in the area of the arts, here’s the sort of imagainstion  and philanthropy we need here in the ‘Ville, especially given the success of the Australian Festival of Chamber Music. This is a music conservatory in China. But it must be said, The Civic Theatre bunker would probably stand up to a cyclone better.

Enough now, it is away to Poseurs’ Bar, where the old bird will bebubble a suitable companion, with a view to the eventual removal of her delicate, vibrant and lyrical veils to better the view mountainous vistas.

See, there’s more to artistry than just bloody paint, mate.