Another light moment was Bob Katter’s Licence To Be A Dill … what, again? Yup.
Dobbing in the missus: the bird that could help jail a killer for life …
…and Johnathan Who? JT no longer the pundits choice as league’s top banana – but that far down?
And Astonisher iditor Ben ‘Bogan’ English comes clean – it was always going to be a stand-alone stadium, he admits – and The ‘Pie tells what REALLY happened during the week.
But first …
The issue that most occupied the chattering classes this week was that painfully juvenile campaign ad by Ol’ Kattertonic himself, suggesting he will plug dead his opponents who want to ‘sell of the farm’ to foreign investors.
While the timing was inadvertently bad because of Orlando, Bob’s naysayers walked straight into the door he had swung their way, by giving the ad treble the airtime and a thousand times greater profile than it would otherwise have had – and yes, guess that includes The ‘Pie now. Otherwise, it would’ve died its own quite death after a few days. Bentley in particular found the episode one of the those frequently frustrating Katter moments of lucidity in amongst the gurgling, tittering nonsense that usually emanates from under the silvern locks. But all too late.
Katter almost overshadowed all that with his risible porky that he doesn’t read papers or watch TV. Pull the other one, Bob, it yodels, as The ‘Pie’s Nana used to say.
The ‘Pie himself managed to get a few PC people offside when he delved into Bob’s history to suggest a follow-up ad.
Speaking Of Katterwauling …..
The Magpie supposes he should be flattered but …
The Bulletin’s EcoPoodle, Colin Dwyer, who is known to sign off messages ‘Kaptain Kol’ since becoming the Kattertonics candidate in the federal election, has released his own brief (big points for that alone) video campaign ad.
One guesses that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and The ‘Pie knows that Col is an avid follower of the Magpie’s Nest. So it’s obvious he has nicked one of the old bird’s recurring descriptions about Ewen Jones as ’Canberra’s representative in Townsville’.
However, The EcoPoodle’s quest for community love and approval is put to the test by his sense of humour. At least we think he was joking although he seemed to seriously suggest that some people had suggested the CBD footy stadium should be called Dwyer Stadium. He said – not exactly in these words, but it’s the drift … this would be to honor of his efforts to do his bit to hoodwink and blindside the community with questionable truths on the issue in the Astonisher.
He also refused to say if he thought his boss, The Mad Katter, was out of line with that ad, just content to describe Bob as ‘a larrikin’. That’s the same word people later used to describe psychopath Ned Kelly. But fair to say, he’s going to snare a few votes away from the big boys, and his voters preferences will be a big factor in the outcome.
The EcoPoodle will no doubt be at Jezzine on tomorrow for the annual Pet Expo, especially since he is also a Kat fancier.
The ABC’s Of This Campaign … By The ABC’s Play School
This is VERY funny, even if it largely true …and no, hanky wringers, it was a one-off iView for adults.
Singing Like A Canary? Well Sort Of …
Still on crime of a more earthly type, we’ve all heard of stool pigeons, but the cops in Michigan USA are counting on an actual bird to help nab their perp.
The police are looking into the possibility that a parrot witnessed a woman killing her husband. Investigators were bemused to find that the household’s pet parrot kept repeating the phrase ‘don’t fucking shoot’, and now have the theory that the bird was mimicking the dead man’s last words.
But that’s not a world first for birds. Why, just recently a magpie gave a couple of hours evidence in the Supreme Court here in Townsville, and he was followed by a variety of lyre birds, all giving evidence before a jury of wise old owls and the beak on the bench. (Oh, stoppit!)
Speaking of Birds …
Just to prove it’s not just The Astonisher …
Don’t say The ‘Pie didn’t tell you so.
The website NewsMediaWorks (NMW), which is the industry-owned carnival barker for newspapers, has carried one of their regular tub-thumping ‘papers have influence’ pieces, praising the Bulletin’s stadium campaign. But one quote particularly caught the beady eye. We all know where the devil is hidden, and iditor Ben ‘Bogan’ English gives the game away when the NMW reports:
‘The stadium is more than just a home for Townsville’s North Queensland Cowboys, explains Townsville Bulletin editor Ben English. It is a catalyst project that will EVENTUALLY (my caps) bring together the city’s entertainment and convention centres in the heart of the city and unleash a torrent of investment from the private sector as part of a broader vision for rejuvenating the CBD. ‘
So it is to be a stand-alone project, is it? Does ‘eventually’ mean we have to wait for the other elements – the money-making entertainment and convention centre – before the torrent of investment is unleashed? Doesn’t anyone have a bullshit metre anymore?
So full points to Bogan and his predecessor Pinocchio Heywood for sticking in the occasional ‘integrated project’ mention, clearly suggesting it’s an all-in project (which may yet turn out to be correct, not that the Astonisher would go quietly with that).
That puts Mayor Mullet in a ticklish situation, a position she hasn’t been in since those nights on the turps down at the Patriots Bikers Club. She’s always said it must be an integrated concept, but what’s the betting she now says’ well, she it does have to be an integrated project … eventually!’ Wonder if TEL will sling Dolan Hayes a few more grand to tell us how right all this is?
But Wither The EC?
The question now arises about the crumbling entertainment centre, which is in such dire need of the repair, The ‘Pie hears there will be a safety audit in the near future. It is always ready admitted that rectification, even temporarily, will be in the double digit millions.
Will the paper – with all its claimed magical influence to brow beat pollies, which isn’t hard during a close election campaign – put the screws on for that part of ISEC which will make money. The ‘Pie for one would not like to be hanging by the left one waiting for that to happen. It is undisputed that ‘staging’ the project will lead to indefinite delays, inevitable political duck-shoving and finger-pointing, and a tripled price tag by the time it happens, just like the financial disaster of the two stage Ring Road.
But we will be able to enjoy our dozen or so nights out at the new stadium each year.
We await with interest Bogan’s soporific puffery on this matter.
The Following Is A Comment From The Week
It may repeat some of the above, but it’s worth putting on record what wasn’t reported or examined as a likely outcome of all the flapdoodle in the paper this week.
The Magpie
June 13, 2016 at 11:38 am (Edit)
Fancy a wedgie, anyone? A political wedgie? And that the man making your eyes water being Prime Minister Talkbull? Mayor Mullet had better be wearing her industrial strength dainties, because she is certain to ultimately be the object of this Federal elastic yank..
Here’s how it works.
First, you have to wade through today’s the bombast of ‘we did it’ chest-thumping in the Astonisher about the PM pledging $100M – but just for what we’re not sure, although the Astonisher seems to think it knows – the paper makes it sound like the stand-alone stadium is a done deal, as with this fanciful bit of frippery:
Quote
Mr Turnbull arrived in Townsville yesterday and will unveil the details of his plan to rejuvenate Townsville through funding the stadium and encouraging urban renewal. Unquote
What? ‘ … through funding the stadium’?!? Only the stadium?
Well, actually, no, the PM’s statements are classic pollie speak, with more escape clauses than a north Queensland home insurance policy.
Let’s read the fine print of what the PM actually said.
First this to start the alarm bells ringing.
QUOTE: ‘To secure their investment in the project the Federal Government will make the funding contingent on all three levels of government agreeing to a Townsville City Deal. City Deals are agreements between all levels of government which spell out priority projects and reforms for a city.’ UNQUOTE
Now, there’s no mention of what this involves – especially the contingent financial involvement of the various parties, including the TCC – because under the government’s Smart Cities plan, no such deals have been struck anywhere else before. We’re to be the first, apparently. So you ratepayers can just wait and fret, but here’s a few clues.
QUOTE:“The Coalition will invest $100 million to achieve the city’s vision for a modern stadium, entertainment venue and headquarters for the 2015 NRL premiers, the North Queensland Cowboys,” the PM said.’ UNQUOTE
And here’s a nice little trapdoor from Talkbull the Feds can disappear down, quote:
“A re-elected Turnbull Coalition Government will work with the Queensland Government and Townsville City Council to sign a City Deal agreement within six months of the election.” Unquote
Let’s be clear here … not that it matters one whit, but The Magpie always has and does support a fully integrated CBD ISEC centre, all built at once and not in stages. Yes, that will achieve much of what has been predicted – whereas a stand-alone stadium will not, and would serve to make any later stages (if they ever happen) two or three times more expensive.
What we must now wait and see is what a Smart Cities Plan involves … will there be something along the lines of TCC one-third involvement that was urged by Anna Blight over the cruise terminal? Will the Feds insist on an all-in project, and only want their money to go towards the convention/entertainment component?
Rather than this being the victory a hubristic Bulletin is claiming (for itself although they make it sound like the whole joint is of one mind on this), this is just the start of the real battle. Bugger the hearts and minds, it’s the wallet that counts in the end.
Questions, questions, and the biggest of them all … will Mayor Mullet back-flip on previous campaign vows that its an all-or-nothing concept?
Another commenter named Afterthought had this to say.
Has anyone noticed that all the artist’s impression of the proposed stadium have not once in the six years the various (up to six now) versions have been in the paper … not once … has there been any sign or visual acknowledgement of an entertainment or convention centre. Sort of tells you where what The ‘Pie calls the Faceless Men are coming from.
Those Southern Bastards, Chapter 286.
Is there no end to the slings and arrows those dastardly southerners continually cast at us here in God’s Zone (no, not the Bulletin iditor’s office, we’re talking about North Queensland).
Fox Sport has just ranked the top 25 League players of the moment … and you’ll never guess where JT is – clue: it’s nowhere near number 1.
In The USA, A Hidden Migrant Threat
Bill Maher has revealed a migrant threat to America that hasn’t yet been acknowledged by The Trumpet or The Clint. You need to see this before you think of travelling stateside again.
Finally, A Fashion Update …
The hot trendy item in the western world …
… and the hot item all the rage in Pakistan.
That’s the lot for this week, but do join in the conversation in the comments section during the week. If you can help out with a donation to meet the Nest’s expenses, it will be greatly appreciated. See ‘donate’ button below.
