But you’ll be waiting forever to hear, because the real cost of bringing sublebrity US moaner Jason Bradley DeFord, aka Jelly Roll, to Townsville will be hidden behind a commercial in confidence deal with the promoter. There is little doubt Townsville Enterprise dipped into their million dollar stash to get Mr Roll to do a stadium show here. The cost of bread and circuses was never cheap, as The Magpie ponders this showcase of unhealthy-looking half-baked goods.

But TEL also have another financial question to dodge … are they actually paying the cruise lines to come here? Is the state government involved? What data justifies this suspected raid on the taxpayer dollar?

The week’s tragedy in Victoria has sharpened the focus on the company our suspended pustule of a mayor is keeping.

It wouldn’t be our weekly Nest without some entertainment from the Daily Astonisher.

The Kat goes feral   …   Boba el Katari sets a new benchmark even for his inventive mystery-speak.

… all that, along with our irregular and grimly funny US report by American cartoonists.

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Jelly Wrestling: It’s Slippery Stuff

What a week of wobbly,  jiggling bullshit we’ve been treated to about the surprise  concert by someone called Jelly Roll.  The Bulletin hyperventilated about ‘the pressure of fan power‘ being responsible for the supposed ‘late inclusion’ of Townsville on the singer’s short Down Under tour. Townsville Enterprise patted itself on the back, saying, ‘we called, and Jelly Roll listened’  (as if), and LNP minister for the Olympics Tim Mander had a bit of a gush, saying “It’s events like these that we want to attract in the lead up to the 2032 Olympic and Paralympic Games, showcasing Queensland as Australia’s home of major events.”

It seems everyone had their take on why we are to be honoured with the presence of Mr Roll , an unsavoury looking tattooed Jenny Craig nightmare , complete with the obligatory backwards baseball cap, who specialises in wrist-slitting dirges. Which may well account for his current 15 minutes of fame in this dystopian world of 2025. And yes, in answer to the inevitable question,  in the service to his readers, The ‘Pie forced himself to listen to his four most popular songs, a duty from which The ‘Pie is now almost recovered without having to resort to assistance from Beyond Blue. But look, if  Mr Roll fills the stadium and everyone has a good time,  that is great news, The ‘Pie’s personal taste is neither here nor there – it certainly won’t be there at the asking ticket prices (Townsville bring the dearest by quite a margin).

But let’s put to rest the patronising Bulletin lie about fan power and any notion TEL harbours of its ‘effective advocacy’ in the matter. While the state government, TEL and the Bulletin make their claims to this coup,  each suggesting Townsville is some sort of emerging entertainment magnet, the answer no one has mentioned is the real one … money.  And a hefty wad at that.

The simple geographic fact is that Townsville is a long way from any large urban mass, so bringing any event here is understandably going to cost  more than a move between adjacent major centres – big time more. So just who ponied up the readies to the promoter to get Mr Roll up here? In the end, the generic answer is the taxpayers, but we should be entitled to know if the LNP government chucked in, or did TEL do a deep dive into the gifted million or so that the council flick passed from the Government events slush fund?  Or all of the above.

It is certain that if TEL could claim credit, they would, God knows they do about so much else that is nothing to do with them. But they are remarkably low key about it.

It would be great fun to sit in on a brain-storming session with Major events manager Chelsea Cavanah and eclectic Major Events Advisory Panel (MEAP) she advises.  The range of entertainment experience would make for interesting suggestions,  but yet again, we run into an accountability problem with anything to do with TEL. Of course, we can’t know of negotiations before an possible event, but we will never know what was tried that failed or succeeded.  Even if it is our money they are spending.

But There Is One Matter That We ARE Entitled To Know About

It’s a simple question, and if TEL were of a mind, it could be a simple answer: does TEL pay the cruise line companies to include Townsville stop overs in their east coast itinerary? It is a sure thing that Brumme-Smith will never allow us to know the answer, because if she did, we would then be entitled to know on what data she justifies such negative expenditure. Highly selective quotes from scattered, cherry-picked interviews is NOT data, and the economic value of these visits is wide open to conjecture. And so are the experiences of the few passengers that come ashore.  Anecdotal evidence suggests this is a misguided program that promotes civic embarrassment and negative takeaways for passengers.

Perhaps the Olympics minister Tim Mander might tell us if the state government helps promote these visits, most likely with. a waiver of Port fees for the boats. Or paying for buses to meet passengers to take them into the CBD or to the Strand – at $10 a ticket.

Surely the Townsville business community is entitled to know how their interests are being managed, and since we’ll never know from the Townsville council,  TEL should at least be subject to reasonable KPIs. Alas, it seems Walker Street isn’t the only Hermit kingdom our city operates under.

When Eccentrics Stop Being Funny And Turn Deadly

The tragic and cowardly events in Victoria during the week seem a distant situation to Townsville an North Queensland, but we would be foolish to think that this sort of lunacy won’t spill over into violence here. The deeply detached sovereign citizen movement, increasingly embraced in regional Australia, is alive and well in Townsville.

It is now indisputable that the sov cits of the MyPlace group have been backing con man Troy Thompson, hoping to get a foothold in the Townsville Council in the manner in which they have disrupted such local bodies in Tasmania, Victoria and even have had members elected to councils here in Queensland.

These Thompson boosters weren’t shy about showing their allegiance during a Strand outing in July last year, looking particularly pleased with themselves because their man was mayor at the time

In among this mob is local MyPlace co-leader Jeanie Zonta, (in the t-shirt, we think); NQ Freedom Network’s Mark Batty,  who organised the video interview in which Thompson blatantly lied about his military non-history; and although not positively ID’d,  the Batman dingbat of recent embarrassment, Andrew Watts. Also hard to positively identify in there is one Tina Picot, described to The ‘Pie  as ‘a rabid Troy supporter and active MyPlace nitwit’.  Perhaps one of the more disturbing lurkers around Townsville  is Jeanie Zonta’s partner Peter Rogers,  who is not depicted  (maybe taking the photograph).

Rogers was,  just like Troy Thompson, dumped by One Nation’s when he was its Mulgrave candidate in 2017, after he posted on social media that the Port Arthur massacre was fabrication, and that a graphic picture of a Syrian toddler drowned at sea was fake. Plus a lot of other demented odorous nonsense.

Now to be clear, The Magpie has no knowledge of any crimes committed or planned by anyone in the photograph or those people named,  but the movement they belong is steadily moving towards violent action.  So if any of them call around for a friendly cuppa, make sure to keep them away from the knife draw.

Now It Certain ThatThere Is Walker Street No Return for Troy Thompson, What Next? Could It Be Joe’s Show?

Having now repeated his statement that Troy Thompson as mayor is ‘untenable’ – a word so strong it would be impossible politically or morally to go back on – Premier David Crisafulli now has to act to show the sincerity of his professed distress for Townsville. He has also more than once said he wants to see a return of leadership to the council, a sentiment that must put Meter Maid Greaney’s granny pants in a knot. So he is clearly left with but two options – administration or a mayoral by-election.

Administration as an option cannot be dismissed, especially in view of the (possibly illegal) call-in powers delegated to the CEO. There is a possibility that the neutered councillors can stay on collecting their pay for a reduced role – seems to be a Townsville thing, doesn’t it? –  while Joe McCabe runs the city. A sort of administration light by a timorous government.

But if Crisafulli is adamant that Thompson is sidelined no matter what the financial consequences, there is nothing to stop him calling  a by-election.  And won’t that be an eager,  fun field.

There have been a couple of interesting moments in comments during the week, one suggesting that businessman Michael Kopitke might run, but he  definitively ruled out a run for mayor or even council when The’Pie asked him the question last year. He was quite insistent he would be a non-starter , so not sure anything has happened to change his mind.

A bit of overall speculation about a possible field would seem to be timely about now. Molachino would definitely be a starter, having noticeably lifted his public profile  in the paper of late. David Kippin may have an ill-advised go, no doubt at the urging of wannabe backroom shogun and social dinosaur Max Tomlinson.  Doubt Suzy B would put her hand up because of her young family, to which she is understandably putting ahead of any bid for a more intrusive public office. The interesting entrant if he decides to take a shot is Andrew Robinson, he’s put a few shekels in the electoral piggy bank with his articulate leadership on a number of issues, and his Disaster Management position. The politically bizarre Guy Reece has said he’ll have a go just to be  nuisance value … well, it’s his deposit. And way to early for Mooney Jnr, and not sure if Paul Jacob would risk a run after the back knifing he got when ousted from the acting position.

The ‘Pie hasn’t mentioned good citizen Harry Patel it seems a bit redundant to say so;  saying Harry will be having a go is a bit like saying the sun comes up in the east.

The most interesting idea came from regular reader Kenny Kennet,  whom posted this comment:

Another person looking for a job is outgoing Cowboy’s CEO Jeff Reibel.  Likeable fella and very experienced business person who knows Townsville. Good leader, understands numbers and people and unlike TwoNames, has proper University qualifications. How about throwing your Cowboy hat in the ring, Jeff?

An interesting question for which the ‘Pie invites an informed answer … can a councillor stand for the mayoralty in a by-election, and still retain his council seat if he/she loses?

And The ‘Pie fully expects Ann-Maree Greaney will decline to run, explaining she is so devoted to looking after her divisional constituents with parking meters on the Strand and inappropriate sludge dumps on Maggie Island, where she has gained the status of folk hero. ‘It would be a shame to be distracted by the wider responsibilities of the mayoral office,  and besides, I’ve done nothing to deserve it, I haven’t an original thought in my head about taking the city forward,’ she may be planning to say. Or maybe not.

Bulletin iditor Poulson Puts On Her PR Hat …

…and raises more questions about the role of the paper. Now a bit of genteel boosterism will always be around the op-ed page, but it would be good if the iditor read her own paper before gushing. This from Friday’s Astonisher editorial.

OK, mildly harmless twaddle under normal circumstances, which completely ignores the fodder of mayhem the paper regularly feeds it dwindling readership.  But a stupid look if just centimetres away on the same page, one of the letters to the editor tended to cut to the brutal truth, containing this brutal but accurate summary.

It wouldn’t be quite so bad if the paper actually made a campaign of grilling the local LNP MPs about Crisafulli’s empty boasts about reducing crime, instead of offering an ‘emperor’s new clothes’ view denying the reality of our violence beset home.

But there will be no such campaign of accountability,  because that would involving asking questions … and that would mean leaving the email inbox for media releases, or social media searches to beat up a story about little snot suffering some unpronounceable ailment.

Or giving us truly pointless stories like this excuse to revisit some dark violemce of the past.

And  this is a paper that doesn’t seem to mind being exactly wrong.

Lebanese Descendant Bobah  Khatari Threatens To Punch Immigration Officials If They Mention The ‘L’  Word

A descendant of a Lebanese storekeeper, Mr Khatari, who has anglicised his name to Bob Katter,  went wildly of script at a news conference when asked about immigration policy.  “These blokes need a good punch to the face to wake up to themselves, they’ll let anybody in nowadays. What next, bloody terrorists from the middle east pretending to general storekeepers? We all know these buggers have been touched upstairs by too much sun.” Mr Khatari said in his usual giggly squeak , adding ‘Such people are well known to irrationally fly of the handle because they can’t carry a logical argument … and they love guns. They have no place in an Australian democracy.. And most of them can’t speak English proper.’

He also decried such immigrants as just wanting to have big families, so they could eventually take over the place.

Asked how he would decide who should be deported, Mr Khatari said he’d start with ‘bloody reporters who ask racist questions about my Lebanese ancestry. ’  He then stormed off, saying it was time to feed his camels.

 It’s A Sensitive World

Next year, it will be held in Gaza.

Something is dreadfully wrong with the human race.

Speaking Of Which, Welcome To America 

mm

Just About Everybody Can Identify With This Castaway. 

And this one’s for troy Thompson.

…………….

That’s it for another week. You can help with Nest costs using the donate button below.