Galah: “Fool, Or Clown, Known For Noisy And Chaotic Behaviour”. So Apt That It’s Our Olympic Emblem.

A cockatoo cock-up that saw the Brisbane Olympic logo accidentally released ahead of time sounds ominously like the starter’s gun for a marathon of bureaucratic buffoonery … but in the end, the Olympic Organising Committee is unlikely to make us laugh, no matter how much it will remind us of Fawlty Towers.

But wait … is there an unintended political message in the design?

You Done Me Wrong .… an alternative title for conman Troy Thompson’s blunder into print … yes, he’s publishing a whinge-ography book about his plummet from grace,  but suddenly, we at The Nest find we have to update his alias of ‘TwoNames’ to ‘ThreeNames’.

The TCC might be trimming staff, but the Dudley Do Nothings aka TEL get four new board members, expanding their overall numbers by two .But despite solid career backgrounds, will the newbies bring the basic business ethics of their day jobs to the TEL table.  Wouldn’t count on it.

The latest Lansdown word salad from the TCC again shows why the TCC should not be developers.

Overseas, when it comes to the Orange Abomination, while there’s lots of funny weird, there’s rare funny haha  but a two word answer in a BBC comedy quiz show had The ‘Pie ROTFLMAO.  That’s included at our weekly look at the whacko week in the US.

If you like to ensure that The Nest remains your weekly ad-free read, you can help by throwing in a few shekels to help meet the blog’s ever-present costs. The link for a much needed donation is at the bottom of this week’s edition.  

Lunkheads And Logos … Putting the Oh Oh into the OOC.

As one commentator said ‘the Olympic Organising Committee  had one job and …’   That job was to keep this secret until Monday.

But on Friday night, someone on the design team accidentally put this up on a YouTube post with a video – clearly meant for Monday release – titled ‘emblem explainer’. It had been put together to share  the thinking behind the design. It was only up in public for ‘a brief time and was quickly pulled down’.  But ‘quick’ in this electronic age really has no meaning, so there it was out in the world on Saturday morning for OOC members to admire while wiping the egg on their faces.

As the same commentator added,’ One wonders if organisers can’t get the basics like the emblem rollout right, what does that say about the rest of the Games rollout as a whole?‘ Sports Minister and former NRL referee Tim Mander was really caught offside, and tried to bluff his way out of it,  which met with open scoffing from one interviewer.

The idea is that the Pink Crested Cockatoo  and the Sulphur Crested Cockatoo represent the Olympic and Paralympic Games respectively. Now, let it be said, the design is nicely thought out, and visually fine.  But the historic inadequacy of words describing the visual was evident when we read the official explanation.

“Inspired by our reef, beaches, hinterland, and everything in between, they bring together the places, people and spirit that will take us to 2032. Distinctive. Unmistakably Queensland. And just a little bit cheeky.”

What? Said cockatoos are bloody everywhere in this country.

The statement went on that the design was meant to symbolise Queensland, with the ‘eye’ representing Brisbane.  Perhaps those of us in the regions might find more honest symbolise if we replace the word ‘eye’ with another part of the anatomy, lower down and around the back.  because this farrago is going to plop on us big time for a decade or more.

But For Some, This Was A Rorschach Ink Blot Test

Looking into the File of Unintended Consequences, Crisafulli and co might have a fit of the conniptions when they see this obvious mischief.

If you’ve ever heard a red crested cockatoo, you’ll instantly realise the connection. Could this be symbolising our Prime Minister heading for the opening ceremony in six years time? Shoot me now.

New Blood For Townsville Enterprise, But Will It Just Be An Anaemic Transfusion?

Although only two board members are leaving (Kevin Gill and Kathy Danaher), TEL has boosted its board numbers by four, adding two more to guide their very own good ship Marie Celeste on its mysterious voyage.  The new faces are:

In their regular occupations, every one of these people has to meet certain Key Performance Indicators (KPIs), either in private contracts or management agreements, – the terms of which are none of our business;  those funded by the government which usually have publicly announced targets  (e.g Townsville Port), and, if investors are involved, publicly mandated, sometime on the ASX and/or in quarterly or annual reports.  Does anyone imagine that a businessman as astute as Chris Morris would not give Tim Richardson targets covering all Casino and hotel operations?  Tim Ackroyd most certainly would be in the KPI business at Dugald River MMG.  And Brigadier McCammon is in a business that runs, top to bottom on KPIs, and wields the power of enforcement in a number of ways, up to and including a stockade.

So will all these upstanding noteworthies recognise that TEL falls into either the public interest category or the investor category, since the Townsville ratepayers (and those of other participating councils) are, willingly of otherwise,  investors? Or anyway have a legitimate public interest in reasonable KPIs?   Taxpayers likewise. And set some benchmark targets for the public to measure TEL’s effectiveness? Or will they go along with the prevailing and insultingly false claim that TEL is simply fuelled by memberships fees and therefore it is a private organisation that is not answerable to any but their members?  Members themselves who apparently don’t get the benefit of any provable performance targets.

Money raised though TEL membership is a drop in the ocean of TEL income support, the greatest bulk being  rate and taxpayer funds through councils ‘partners’,  and state and federal programs and grants.  A glittering waterfall that pours into the coffers of this seemingly ineffectual and underperforming entity .

And all that before we even broach the ethics and conflict of interest arising from the mayor and a key councillor being board members, but who can influence councillors to vote to award approx. $750,000 of ratepayer funds annually to an organisation on whose board they sit.

The ‘Pie cannot realistically entertain any hope of this simple and ethically required change,   it’s plain to see that this galloping juggernaut of a rort has got away from the community, aided and abetted by the very entity supposed to monitor and call out this dishonesty, the Townsville Bulletin.

The Bulletin Is Moving Into Top Gear With Its Business Coverage.

Seriously?

As They Say ‘The Truth Is Out There’  But This Ain’t It.

Unfortunately, sometimes, mocking the afflicted is unavoidable.

They’ll be flocking to the stores in their tens … eleven if his mum has to buy her own copy.

And the medals, the medals ….

But there will be two other people who will be a tad miffed at this release.  Both are published authors,  one with the same name, the other using the name as a character.

The first of these looks like it could be in competition with our conman ex-mayor. A review on-line might fool you into thinking it’s written by our boy. It isn’t, but could’ve been.

“The Nostalgia of Trauma is a raw, darkly funny, and deeply moving memoir about the legacy of mental illness, neurodivergence, the weight of family obligation, and the unexpected healing power of friendship.”

The second book isn’t actually by Troy Thompson but by author of several books, Gary Crew,  who spookily features a Troy Thompson character  as its narrator.

The blurb for this book is even more confusing and could easily be mistaken for some autobiographical notes by Townsville’s most unloved son.

Troy Thompson’s Excellent Peotry (sic) Book follows Troy Thompson, a Year 6 Student in Ms. Kranke’s English class in Dagaburra, Australia.  Step into the head of a twelve-year-old Australian boy as he has his first experience with poetry. It’s a rocky but endlessly interesting journey., (It’s) moving, silly (and sometimes just a little gross). 

Not to mention out of touch with truth and reality.

Speaking Of Truth And Reality …. And Utter Bullshit 

Seriously, Mayor?

How’s this for meaningless claptrap …

This piece of prize ‘baffle ‘em with bullshit’ was plopped out by the council’s media cow a couple of weeks ago, and the ‘Pie has been trying to parse it ever since. Have a go yourself, this is the full thing.  It amounts to trying to sell a car with no engine as a going concern … Lansdown without water is a non-starter. For anything.

That main point in the release  is the nonsensical elevation of a stock standard document which is no more than a missionary position LG pro forma requirement.  Including that standard paper shuffling as ‘gaining. momentum’ is as believable as Mayor Meathead’s statement further on when he describes building a few roads in grandiose terms: ‘Milestones already delivered include the Jones Road upgrade and the opening of sealed public access to DriveIt NQ in May, while internal road works are expected to be complete in November. Further water and transport upgrades are progressing through tender evaluation and planning.’

Interestingly vague and evasive, we get a glancing mention of ‘water upgrades’ which are still tied up in red tape and economic uncertainty. This  means the whole benighted site still does not have the branch junction pipe and pumping facility from the Haughton Pipeline needed to make the site viable, let alone somehow attractive to investors. Yet interest is sky rocketing from possible tenants?  Psst, want to buy a tin of tartan paint, cheap?

And the Haughton pipeline itself isn’t at any meaningful  operational level at last report, with its own pump station problems. And since Cameron Dick’s ego trip  stiffed the Townsville ratepayer of $79m to be spent on the Haughton pipeline, where the fuck is that $303 million for Lansdown itself over the next seven years coming from?  Assume the position and brace yourselves, folks.

Then note the only interest expressed in becoming a tenant – a Quinbrook company creating the usual mythical number of jobs, 1200.the mayor says.   Given that Sun Metals massive operation employs at tops 450,  then the bulk of those Quinbrook jobs are in short term construction, and even then, the best the council has is a non-binding, ordinary MOU.  And no mention of the crucial co-development of the renewable energy projects including the Lansdown Solar West project (up to 150 MW AC solar) and the Supernode North battery energy storage system (780 MW / 2,200 MWh capacity).

Then there’s this bit: ““We’ve created the conditions for industry to succeed through strategic planning, investment in enabling infrastructure and strong advocacy with all levels of government.’ The burning question there is, if you want us to believe that, tell us who is doing the advocating. If it’s TEL,  that explains the situation in a nutshell. We’re fucked.

This sort of opaque albeit rational-sounding gobbledegook is a case study in lack of governance transparency. If the ratepayers are stumping up a good part of that $303million for this development, with Solarquartz and its supporting energy sources operation in three years time,  they deserve more than this bare faced lie “The move further strengthens Lansdown’s position as one of Australia’s most significant emerging advanced manufacturing and processing hubs.”

Present tense? It’s position as what?  Manufacturing hub for unicorns?

This whole schmozzle of both action and communications shows again why the TCC should not never take on the role of developer.  The downside is there for all see in the dusty distance of Woodstock.

It’s Not Just The Bulletin (Ot The Magpie, For That Matter) Missing Something

With the proliferation of social media and modern technology, we are all prey to the sin of omission. That is, typos. especially that missing letter. We’ve all done it, and will again, but we are now in exalted company … the White House.

Someone over the has had their arse kicked until their nose bled (or more likely led away by ICE goons, never to be heard of again).

But the error had a certain amount of karma involved in an embarrassing boo-boo, because it went unnoticed by the tech moguls as well as the stable genius himself. The occasion was the (look, no laughing, right) signing of an agreement by the tech bros to …  snicker, snurffle  … voluntarily police …. oh, stoppit … themselves when it came to  … oh, spare me … the development of AI. (Uncontrollable guffawing.)

And AI  is now to be called SI, as in Super Intelligence,  by decree of Trump. And you don’t question the President of the  … the …  well,  we’re not sure when he put his lie detector graph  of a signature above his title.

Reading down that list of names put the ‘Pie in mind of this.

Interesting to note that ‘united’ is an anagram of ‘untied’.

But anyway …

Bugger, Bugger, Bugger

That was the ‘Pie’s reaction to the news this weekend that Marina Hyde has written her last column for the Guardian. She is upping stumps after 25 years of hilarious acid wit and insight into all arenas of the human condition – not many are aware she is also a well regarded and award winning writer on sport. Her final column had many moments of recognition for The Magpie (not that he in any way puts himself anywhere near the Hyde pantheon).

Anyway, not that she’ll see ithis  but Marina, thanks for  hilarious enlightenment you conjured up so regularly.  And The ‘Pie wants you to know that he always credited you if he used any of your brilliant lines.  Well, nearly always.

You’re on Google alert for whenever you pop up again.

And A Final Note, It’s Always Good To Leave You Laughing

Cliches are true (because they’ve stood the test of time heh heh) and a ‘Pie favourite is ‘brevity is the soul of wit’.  The only thing better than a snappy one liner retort is the one or two word retort.  And he has come across one that has had him helplessly laughing from time to time as he recalls it.

It  came at the very end of this clip of the clever BBC show ‘I’m Sorry, I Haven’t A Clue’, in which a panel is asked to give alternative definitions of words or phrases. In this episode, all the answers are funny as only the Poms know how, but the final one is for the ages … and guaranteed to make you have a giggle every time you recall it.

……………….

‘Til next week. Don’t forget comments, they run 24/7 throughout the week. The donation link is below, if you’re of a mind.