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The Magpie

Saturday, November 25th, 2023   |   209 comments

From Townsville To Whoville – Mayor Mullet Steals Christmas From The Struggling CBD.

In an inexplicable kick in the head for businesses in the heart of the city,  the council ‘steals’ the traditional CBD Christmas tree,  moving it to The Strand – in much the same manner as the Christmas Grinch’s famous raid on Whoville’s festivities in the Dr Suess classic.  Hard pressed business people find their joy and goodwill in is short supply, in fact, some are hopping mad.  And one has the courage to speak out openly to The Magpie.

Do the numbers lie? Is the headlong push for 100%  renewables the impossible dream  and we are being panicked and persuaded into power poverty.  Is there evidence that the current timetable is not only completely unsustainable but the we are also being bullied away from the answer right in front of us. The Magpie looks at the latest number crunching … and it’s pretty convincing.

The ‘Pie introduces what is looking like a permanent new segment: This week’s question that The Bulletin didn’t ask.  First up, we visit Bushland Beach and the Disaster Management Centre for ‘reporter’ Leighton Smith’s latest foray in stenography and sealed lips.

The Australian’s investigative report this week into the Magnis scam shows the full extent of how close we went to an even greater debacle with the mayor’s gushing dealing with a corporate crook. But did we hear anything from the Bulletin? We did not,  reporting irresponsible governance and mayoral near-misses is not in their remit apparently.

The stark difference between public value and private valuation.

It’s been a difficult week here at The Nest technically, and The ‘Pie’s ageing equipment could do with some TLC  – which costs money. If you’d care to help out, you can make a donation, the button is at the bottom of the blog. And just for the record, the promised new-look site is a work in progress, somewhat stalled by circumstances that could not be avoided. But it’s still happening.

A Claim That Jenny Hill’s Council Has Been Caught Out In A Direct Lie Looks To Be The Latest Setback For The CBD


During the week, The Nest received this email from well known Townsville businesswoman Lucy Downes of Gecko Interiors. The Magpie has edited it down for length. Ms Downes confirmed with The ‘Pie that she was happy to be identified. It speaks for itself.

I’m a long established CBD trader of 16 years. I was previously in Castletown for 10 years, so have committed overall to the Townsville community and economy for 26 years. In the time I have been in Flinders St, I have been a strong advocate for the precinct and have formed strong connections with other CBD traders.

But in those 16 years, I have witnessed a steady, constant decline in visitation, appeal and interest in activation by Townsville City Council. I have seen an increase in tenancy vacancies, anti-social behaviour and alarmingly, an indifference by TCC to respond to trader’s concerns.

This has recently been demonstrated by Council’s decision to re-locate the city’s Christmas Tree from the city to The Strand this year.

A Channel 7 news report aired on Thursday the 16th November about the new, bigger Christmas Tree stated that it was being moved to The Strand, “after CBD business owners campaigned for it to be relocated from the city last year”

 I want the Townsville community to know that nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, it simply isn’t true.

CBD traders embrace and continually plead for activation of the street, and events such as Christmas In The City have been a key calendar event for these businesses for decades. We would never campaign to have Christmas in the City relocated.

What we have campaigned for in recent years, particularly last year, is consultation.

In 2021, the tree was re-located from Bulletin Square to the Palmer St end of Victoria Bridge without consultation. And although the CBD traders all threw their support behind the “turning on of the lights” event and stayed open through till 9pm it saw little activation for the traders, because of this relocation, which is little wonder considering the tree was closer to Palmer St than Flinders St.

The Mayor later acknowledged via a media interview that this was a misstep, that activation of the CBD was vital and a key focus for TCC, and promised to consult with CBD traders about the position of the tree in 2022.

So imagine our surprise when the Christmas tree was returned to Flinders St last year but with dirty, great concrete blockades, road closed signs and a key access road into Flinders St barricaded off for a month!

The response and reaction from the CBD traders was swift and palpable., asking where was the promised consultation, and why was the tree plonked in the middle of a bitumen road in the baking sun with a ring of concrete blocks?


Who on earth thought that would attract the hordes?

The CBD is a city’s brand, and we need the Townsville CBD to become a destination for locals, tourists and travellers. We need as many events as possible to help achieve that aim but without the consultation of the traders Council staff are making gobsmacking errors with these events that are sabotaging the desired outcome.

The Mayor again went into damage control and stated that “staff believed they had consulted with CBD traders” (  ‘believed’? What the heck does that mean? ) but either way, “we’ll take the feedback from the traders and re-visit it next year”.

And here we are.

Another year later.

And no consultation whatsoever. 

Despite prompting.

 Council decided to relocate the tree and lighting ceremony out of Flinders St and move it to The Strand, where it appears it will stay from now on. I know this because I was told “ we have a new, bigger tree that won’t fit in Bulletin Square. So we would have to put it in the road again which would mean road closures and you guys don’t want that”.

And hence the totally untrue narrative being pushed is : “the CBD traders wanted it relocated out of the city”


We want it in the city. 

We desperately want it in the city.

It’s been in the city for decades with great results. 

But they changed it. And stuffed it. And they won’t own up to it.

Lucy Downesunnamed

And the Chamber of Commerce is nowhere to be seen.

Knowing the demonstrated vindictive and petty nature of our mayor, the Magpie double checked with Lucy, but she had decided she was ready to put her name to the letter.

So now Ms Downes no doubt has a greater interest than most in the outcome the upcoming mayoral election . If Jenny Hill prevails, it probably won’t be long after she demonstrates that, like Donald Trump, she doesn’t shrink from using her position and power to ‘get even’.

Watching closely.

Powering Down To Poverty

The Magpie has coined a new term for ill advised ventures that fall into a certain pattern … he calls it the Campbell Newman Syndrome – Too Much Too Soon. That in a nutshell tells the story of his ill-fated term as premier.

But the Newman Syndrome can be seen elsewhere, and no more so than the helter-skelter rush to renewables, and the hysterical calls to phase out of fossil fuels. There are more and more coherent arguments being made against the indecent and dangerous haste to halt mining. Not only is the feeling of being hassled and hustled down this road (Thunderberg Road perhaps?), there is also the suspicion it is all politically driven political point scoring.

That is certainly Bentley’s view.


But there are more and more coherent and analytical arguments emerging challenging the fashionable orthodoxy, claiming to prove  that complete power needs from just wind and solar sources are an unsustainable and impossible dream.  There ae some impressive numbers to back it up, too.

The main arguments against wind and solar are two-pronged: economic and financial analysis claim that only a fraction of power will ever be gained by renewables, and even those are simply unaffordable, self-defeating and, frankly, impossible. And battery storage, so the argument goes, is bullshit (although more technically argued, of course). And renewable will mean more mining not less, only of different and rarer minerals (most of which China control).

These aren’t arguments against climate change or a looming energy crisis, they are a thoughtful examination of the pitfalls that certainly exist for the present path of popular thinking, a path strewn with noisy (and bloody annoying) children and pig headed, panicked adults.

Slowing down the demise of fossil fuels is one matter, but the core claim for this new thinking is gaining more and more credence as myths and scaremongering disappear and technology increases … nuclear energy. On that point, here is an eye-opening short video that tackles some of the self serving objections to what some say is the ONLY solution for a power supply for an economy determined to demand more power (vehicles for instance) while the concept is cut off at the knees by reality of vastly LESS power. And this one puts the case of economic impossibility.

A New Weekly Segment: The Bulletin’s Unasked Question Of The week.

And who better to baptise this new feature than the Astonisher’s reigning Marcel Marceau, Leighton ‘Light-On’ Smith. This story in the Weekend Bulletin is listed weirdly under an ‘exclusive’ banner.

Screen Shot 2023-11-25 at 8.19.21 pm

His tongue peeping pinkly from the corner of his mouth in concentration, Light-On dutiful transcribed the self-serving but justified guff  offered to his obedient pen from  a parade of characters about a pretty standard TCC reclamation project.

An epic transformation of a Bushland Beach watercourse is taking shape as 70 workers plant 97,000 trees and grasses to create a picturesque living waterway which improves water quality and protects the Great Barrier Reef.

In planning since 2021, the Townsville City Council-led $2.8m Bushland Beach naturalisation project is upgrading a drain corridor and footpath running behind Peggy Banfield Park, between Mount Low Parkway and Lionel Turner Drive.

Work began in January to dig out old cement-lined drain to widen the corridor, line it with rocks, and re-landscape it to create a “bio-engineered naturalised waterway” featuring a low-maintenance creek, habitat pools, and sediment-collection pond

Which is all fair enough, a good story as a matter of community interest, although one man’s ‘epic’ is another man’s ho-hum (exclusive?!?)

But Light-On,  you seem to have short term memory loss – and no ability to join any dots . You apparently didn’t pay much attention to another media release you yourself transcribed in the paper earlier in the week featuring the ludicrous suggesting from our campaigning mayor who said  her Disaster Management Group has rehearsed for three times the amount of rain of the 2019 monsoon

Screen Shot 2023-11-25 at 11.35.31 am

A tropical cyclone has hit North Queensland and three times the volume of rain that fell on the city during the 2019 monsoon event has hit Townsville.

That is the scenario that put Townsville’s disaster management team to the test ahead of the wet season.

A “cast of hundreds” gathered in Townsville to run through a simulated cyclone and flooding event to ensure the city was prepared for the approaching high-risk weather season.

Three times the 2019 monsoon. Really? 

In the ten days to 8 February, Townsville Aero recorded 1259.8 mm, far exceeding the January 1953 record of 925.5mm. There were several sites in nearby elevated areas that reported 12-day rainfall totals of more than 2,000 mm. 

Not only would the RR Dam be spilling over the wall – if not actually breaching it and washing it away – unable to hold the predicted 800% of the wet stuff, all of Townsville would be floating off to New Zealand. Not so much the venice of the North as the Atlantis.   As absurd as that suggestion was … and if it was only a impossible hypothetical, why waste training time the what would be the inevitable wipe out of the entire city … you took it seriously enough not to question it. (Oh, drat and poo, The ‘Pie can hear you saying.)

So mate, did it not occur to you to ask what would happened to the $2.8m Bushland Beach project in the event of almost guaranteed catastrophic flooding?  Or the outcome even the stock standard regular overflow drenching, likely to denude all the good works done there.  There might be clever technical planning for such an event, and then again, knowing the TCC, maybe not, but surely worth the question that everybody who’s been here more than your five seconds would ask?

Public v Private It’s Not a Matter of Values, It’s A Matter Valuations

Just a thought for you to ponder.

In the weekend real estate section, this four-bedroom, three-bathroom house in Rowes Bay with four car spaces on 800sqm is valued by experts Knight Frank at $2,350,000.

Screen Shot 2023-11-25 at 11.12.55 am

… while this structure on Castle Hill is valued at $4million by Mayor Jenny Hill.

Castle Hill renos Screen Shot 2021-02-21 at 12.16.02 pm

In the ugly vernacular of the present day, ‘go figure’.

Also In The Go Ho Ho Figure Department

Trusted mate tells The ‘Pie that despite his drunken escapades, precinct ban, police insults and general buffoonery, Messagebank Walker is going to be Santa at the TCC community Christmas lunch. Asked why, considering his record, inquirer was told ‘because he always has.’


Les Walker practicing being Santa, asking a couple of cops what they want for Crus … Chersmu … ah, Chismus.

But hey, maybe not that silly … who better to play a mythical person who only turns up once a year with dubious presents – Forensics For Dummies for coppers who’ve just lost colleagues  – and isn’t heard from the rest of the time. Ho-fucking-ho indeed.

And Thanks, Anna …

Screen Shot 2023-11-22 at 10.33.29 pm

Funny, That …

Big spread about the woes of Magnis in the Australian during the week …

Screen Shot 2023-11-23 at 8.23.00 am Screen Shot 2023-11-23 at 8.23.19 am

… which finally demonstrates Frank Poullas as the unsavoury scammer he is … and how close Jenny Hill, who was his guest on a US ‘softening up’ trip, was to being more closely linked to him, before circumstances made him piss off voluntarily. But while over the years this courtship filled page after page of glowing confabulated stories of jobs and riches galore, there was never a single mention, not the merest hint of the bleedin’ obvious … Poullas was on the make with make-believe.  And it is no humblebrag by The Magpie … indeed he is bloody proud to say it … that from very early on, it was he alone called out Poullas for the bullshit artist he was, and Jenny for the irresponsible fuckwit she was in all this. Lucky she has an electorate with the memory of a goldfish.

But despite the previous attention given to this fantasy by the Bulletin, not a single word in that paper about the current Magnis implosion and this city’s past links with the central character. One imagines a responsible, balanced and truly independent newspaper would be running the yarn and surely asking the mayor for comment.

But The ‘Pie reckons he’s now answered his own obvious question.


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Did anyone else notice the glaring omission in all the reports of the disgraceful FNA scandal in Queensland over the past decade. The details are everywhere else, so no need to go into it here. But what struck the ‘Pie was the follow-my-leader parroting of the estimated number of criminals who may have got away with their crime, and given time and the unlikely continued existence of evidence,  are unlikely to face court again.


It’s happened before both here in Queensland and elsewhere (the name Folbigg looms large), but not a single dickybird about the possibility.

This is a disgusting commentary on the priories of a sensation seeking media.

The Desensitizing Of America Grinds On

Ironic that it’s Thanksgiving time again in the US, a country that increasingly has fuck all to be thankful for. Well, at least they’re getting rid of George Santos.

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Those Funsters At The Shovel Areat It again …

… proving here’s a lot truth in jest.

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So we start another week, and you can bet there will be all sort of gentle debate and reasoned argument in comments, whack in your say.

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The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. tropical Cyclone says:

    Follow up Sharon Kelly executive at TUH retired to “I’m happy to share that after 42 years in healthcare, I have retired from full-time employment to enjoy a well-deserved break and consider future options as a Health Executive and Governance Advisor so now Self-employed!”
    On another matter, I heard that the problem in the audiology dept was only investigated after emails from concerned staff were sent to Brisbane and it was Brisbane that started the investigation. There was a secret report naming other people who failed the dept but I don’t think we will see its contents. Could these be keyes that finally unlock the board? Will we hear of more people taking extended holidays and considering their future?

    • The Magpie says:

      Have absolutely no idea what your paragraph is about or trying to say.

      • tropical Cyclone says:

        thanks for putting it up the people who are involved will know, what it means but KARMA is a bitch.

        • The Magpie says:

          Well, yes, but The ‘Pie’s ever oresewnt concern is unwittingly publishing something that makes HIM legally liable. That’s the reason he always questions that which he doesn’t get.

  2. Motorist says:

    Liberty Idalia, bit after 2PM yesterday.
    It soon became evident what was happening.
    A really scruffy barefoot proud first nation male youth putting fuel into a large bright shiny SUV. The odd thing was the engine was running. On second glance there in the driver’s seat was a proud first nation adult (from the size of him) male. After refuelling the proud first nation youth climbed into the passenger seat and the proud first nation driver drove off.
    Stolen fuel for a stolen vehicle.
    Proud first nations whatever, my arse!
    Thieving scumbags of the stealing generation!

    • Critical says:

      Call then “entitled untouchables”
      Entitled because they expect the government (read poor bloody taxpayer) to just give them everything they want.
      Untouchables because nobody can lay a finger on these little criminals as they’re protected by the Nanna Anna and her ALP created nanna state. If anyone does try to do anything to them then expect to hear an uproar from them and other do-gooders quoting discrimination, numerous Royal Commission and other reports and United Nations and other nternational reports and agreements that apparently Australia has signed. It’s just a pile of bull shit that grows by the day

    • 4814 says:

      How about calling them criminals

      • Motorist says:

        Clearly you, or those you hold dear, have not yet been burgled and robbed by the thieving scumbags of the stealing generation. It is not if, it is when.

  3. Mike Douglas says:

    Two years in a row Mayor Hill with 3 advisers can’t organize a Christmas Tree in the cbd . Last year she blocked off a street that accessesed Flinders st and this year she thought Council consulted cbd tenants which they clearly didn’t resulting in the heart of the City having no Christmas Tree . Where is Counillor of Food Trucks and cbd Grinch Greaney ? . Council can organize a rate payer funded 12 page colour lift out in the astonisher with the Mayors face front page as well as 2.5 pages of Council ads a blatant use of rate payers $ 4 months out from Council election . Council cant even keep Flinders st clean or safe and businesses are closings and organizations moving out .

    • Lucy Downes says:

      Thank you for your support Mike, it means a lot. I’ll continue to do everything I can to keep the CBD alive and prevent businesses from giving up hope but this battle is becoming increasingly impossible against an entity that is refusing to consult.

    • HiBeam says:

      “It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.”—Andy Borowitz

  4. Ducks Nuts says:

    Regarding engagement of CBD traders, wouldn’t that be the job of Stakeholder Engagement? The head of this for the last 5 years has been Richard Hannay. Seems he’s as good at this as he is at running Red Rooster.

    • The Magpie says:

      Is that the same person?

    • Lucy Downes says:

      Stakeholder Engagement has been an oxymoron for the past several years. At least for CBD businesses. I recall being approached by Council about 2 years ago to participate in a promotional video about Stakeholder Engagement. I politely declined, explaining there had been none. Instead of that being rectified as a matter of urgency, the situation remains unchanged. I can confirm I have never heard from or met Richard Hannay.

      • Ducks Nuts says:

        Lucy I’m not surprised. Council, subscribe to IAP2. It’s a community engagement methodology and is quite good when applied with integrity. However council don’t move along the spectrum very much and tend to just “inform” rather than “involve”, “collaborate” or “empower”. Particularly if you are merely a member of the community or a small business.

        • Lucy Downes says:

          That definitely sums up the situation perfectly. We are being “informed” . Flippant promises are made to consult “next year” but that never eventuates. To add insult to injury it can take up to 3 months to receive a response to emails. Not only is that in itself incredibly disrespectful but the responses are often condescending and rarely address the issues raised.

  5. Dazza says:

    Magpie I thank you and Lucy on the information of the Xmas tree CBD saga. Without going back over past posts I do seem to recall that the owners of the Sugar Shaker motel were mentioned as against wanting the tree next to them in the past. Would they be who may of swayed the council to move?

    • Lucy Downes says:

      Thanks for your support Dazza! My understanding is that the scaffolding at the Sugar Shaker last year was the reason the tree was moved out into the road. This was done without consulting the traders which resulted in a road closure for a month – something we would have never agreed to and would have instead proposed other options.

      I’d be surprised if the Sugar Shaker would want the tree re-located completely as they benefit from increased restaurant and room bookings for the Event night. It also helps move the itinerant element away from the Bulletin Square that infuriates them.

      And the more vibrant and activated Flinders St is, the less we will see of that anti-social behaviour. It’s definitely in Council’s interests to consult with the traders about future events in the CBD to ensure they deliver positive outcomes for the traders and the community.

  6. Cantankerous but happy says:

    That emergency management meeting was just a farcical Mullet promotion, most of the room was full of local parasites selected by Jenny Hill, like tourism officer at Townsville Enterprise Lisa Woolf, why the fuck would she be there except for a photo opportunity. People I know in the emergency services who attended were embarrassed to be there.

  7. Alahazbin says:

    It seems indigenous calculations on their existence in Australia is becoming a bit out of whack. Back in year 2000 the claim was 40,000 years and then in 2020 it became 60,000 years. Now here we are, not even 2025 yet, and twice in Saturdays astonisher, first in ‘Lightweight Leighton’s’ piece about the work out at Bushland Beach park one Thomas Holden states that they have been here 65,000 years and over the page Elite activists Linda Burney again states 65,000 years. My theory of 10 : 10,000 is being tested.

    • The Magpie says:

      The whole length of tenure thing is irrelevant to the present situation, anyway, but The ‘Pie maintains they have lived here for 65,000 years, they’ve just lived the same year 65,000 times. Occupation in itself isn’t ownership, especially if you aren’t advanced enough to defend it. When the magic words ‘oldest culture in the world’ are parrotted, the word ‘primitive’ should be added. Of course, comments like that will have folks like ABS, who travels by car and aircraft and buys food in always available abundance in supermarkets, using his computer and mobile phone to call The ‘Pie out as a racist with no respect for the indigenous of Australia. Right back at ya, ABS, respect and acknowledgement is a two-way street.

  8. Aldi fan says:

    On the subject of karma I noticed Jenny Hill walking out of Aldi last week with an e-scooter. Immediately thought of that poor bloke on the motorbike who is no doubt watching down from above. For her sake I hope she was only buying it as a Chrissy present for her pet puppet and scooter commuter Liam Looney.

    • jonnyrotten says:

      Do you mean that ‘poor bloke’ that was loaded up with drugs and was travelling in excess of 100 kph by the time he hit Hills car at the intersection of Alfred and Nathan streets. That poor bloke?

      • The Magpie says:

        Yeah, that tends to happen when you carelessly drive across oncoming traffic.

        • Motorist says:

          Be slow to judge here. No fan of the Mullet but, in a 60 zone we can judge safe distance and time. Motorcycle at distance, at 60kph, safe to turn. Motorcycle at distance, in 60kph zone, doing 100+kph, and continuing to accellorate, as I say, not a fan of the Mullet, but her right turn was reasonable and safe under normal circumstances and she, at the time could not have seen or anticipated the rate of closure of that drug I fused motorcyclist. OK.

          • The Magpie says:

            No immediate RBT at the scene (or it was ‘lost’ after the fact) and even the magistrate said she was driving inattentively but was not to bear any blame. One of Magistrate Ross Macks stranger decisions.
            The Magpie is not saying she is necessarily at full fault of anything but the circumstances of the long drawn out police investigation, with foot dragging decisions made in Brisbane as well as Townsville, and a final decision months after the fact to charge is so highly suss, that The ‘Pie allows the comments you object to.

            Townsville has form in protecting local public officials from too much harm (cf Tony Mooney’s notorious drunken hit and run).

      • Realist says:

        It would be safe to say you only know the limited information that has been published by the local media that is heavily sponcered by the local mayor. You’re clearly just another key board warrior. In laymans terms stay in your own lane. MATE!

        • Debbie Wood says:

          Well said, there is so much injustice for the motorcycle rider.
          The public have only ever heard what the media/ police wanted them to hear.
          Jenny Hills car was NOT ROADWORTHY.

        • Rotten Luck Willy says:

          Right oh then R. You say we only have limited information. From your contribution it seems you have unlimited information. This is a bloody important matter in this town, so, out with it, your unlimited information for our uncompromised understanding, or are you running interference for the Mullet, or the drugged-up motorcyclist on a death wish.

          • Diesel Des says:

            Rotten Luck Willy.
            I want to set the record straight.
            Normie’s bloods test were CONTAMINATED , this is stated in the coroners reported.

          • The Magpie says:

            OK, now both sides and The Magpie have had their say and the matter has been decided in court with no appeal under consideration. Further discussion beyond what has already been said will achieve nothing, so the thread is now closed.

          • Spielcheque says:

            So much commentary from so many who did not hear the evidence in court first hand and rely on bits and pieces from all over the place. The ABC (not heavily sponsored by the local mayor) offered a calm record of the magistrate’s comments and a couple of shocking clips from CCTV.:


            In each clip, note where you can, the other car/s travelling through the same lights on Nathan Street at the same moment as the mayor and the cars pulling up at the red light as the mayor’s car turns across in front of them. Make your own observations.

            Magpie, your recollection that the magistrate said she was driving inattentively but was not to bear any blame is inaccurate and unhelpful. The ABC account is much closer to the mark:

            “I accept that Ms Hill has entered the intersection while facing an amber light, it does not, to my mind, exhibit undue care and attention,” Magistrate Mack said.

            “What Ms Hill could not have made an assessment [of] was the speed of which Mr Lynch approached the intersection.

            “I am unable to conclude beyond reasonable doubt that Ms Hill drove without due care and attention.”

          • The Magpie says:

            The ‘Pie will accept the accuracy of your quotes, and no, he wasn’t in court for the matter, but his initial comments at the time, echoed in his sentiments in current comments, were based on the Bulletin’s reporting of Mr Mack’s comments. And the subsequent unanswered questions dodged by the authorities as they dragged out the process.

            And as to a matter of even a portion of culpability, the law clearly states that it is legal to go through amber only if it is safe to do so. To suggest that on a straight stretch of road Mayor hill was unable to see an approaching motorbike no matter what speed demonstrates a lack of the required attention if deciding to go through an amber light.

            Ross Mack made it clear that his judgement required an opinion, and he reached his, which he is required to do. But everyone else is also entitled to their opinion on the evidence.

            Footnote: Don’t know about Qld, but in NSW, it was and/or is a fact that even if you get t-boned while going through a green light, you are judged to be at least 15% culpable for not keeping the required watch when passing through traffic lights. While many including The ‘Pie think that’s a bit bloody rich, doesn’t matter, it’s the law.

    • Realist says:

      I Hope the E scooter is for her. I’m sure her day will come.

    • JusticefightingSister???? says:

      What she needs to buy for herself is a colour chart!
      As she clearly can NOT tell the difference between red and orange.

  9. HO HO bloody HO says:

    Council is committed to bring the same gifts to everyone in the community in rotation. Stable of the Strand moved to Riverway. CBD Christmas Tree moved to the Strand. Indigenous itinerants moved from Riverway to the CBD. Every child wins a prize except Lucy. Lucy loses.

    • Lucy Downes says:

      It’s not me that loses. It’s the city that loses. I am hearing what travellers, tourists, cruise ship passengers and investors are saying about the CBD when they visit. They are shocked that it has been allowed to deteriorate to the extent that it has.

      The CBD is a city’s brand and Flinders St, with all it’s beautiful old buildings and rich history is central to cultivating civic pride. I’m just fighting to keep the area alive for the community and visitors to enjoy.

  10. ABS says:

    Prager U? You’ve really gone off the Trumpian deep end now.

    • The Magpie says:

      Argue the facts, and stop being ad hominem. Even our own IPA gets the occasional thing right.

      • The Magpie says:

        And BTW, there is a far more succinct exposition of the opposition to renewables by Dr Patrick Moore (a former Greenpeace leader) – in just three minutes, he puts forward his analysis and statistics which require sensible and measured responses rather than your sneers, ABS. While it is compelling stuff, it needs to be refuted if incorrect.
        Unfortunately, Moore’s piece can’t be posted here because it is on TikTok, which this platform is unable to use, but there’s many videos running over an hour on the subject.

    • jonnyrotten says:

      I am confused can you define what a Trumpian deep end is?

  11. Interested observer says:

    That glossy 12-page Jenny Hill brochure that came with Saturday’s paper (and Mike D is talking about) could easily be confused for an election campaign handout.
    The problem is our rates have paid for it, not the mayor or her Labor “team”.
    Tying Christmas spirit in with council achievements and services is about as low as you can go. Don’t recall anything about the Three Wise Men boasting of their achievements when they delivered the frankincense and myrrh.
    I notice there is no mention of any of Jenny Hill’s many failed projects and events, like the Magnis Battery Factory; Ross River Dam gates opening on high tide; North Australian Festival of Arts (would love to know how much that flop cost us this year); the Strand Lagoon; the Hilton “Mirage” Hotel; the ferry over mudflats and under low bridges from the casino to the Cowboys stadium; the $6 million boardwalk from nowhere to nowhere (I am yet to see a person walk along it); the $4 million tin sheds on Castle Hill; the $1 million Palmer Street upgrade (aka downgrade) designed to attract more outdoor restaurants but which has achieved zilch; etc, etc, etc.
    Maybe there’s a sponsor out there who would be prepared to pay for a glossy 12 page brochure covering all of these (and other) Jenny Hill failures.
    I’m sure in the interests of fairness the Townsville Bulletin editor would be happy to include it with the paper next year, just in time for the council elections.

    • The Magpie says:

      Your points are well made and your underlying premise is solid. This bis clearly not a publication aimed to attract outsiders who will bring economic benefit to the city, so surely any achievements should be self evident like they are in any other burg, and the locals told have to be told about them.

      This is, plain and simple, another Jenny Hill rort on ratepayer funds. But she’s clever, shithouse rat variety, because it ain’t illegal and can’t be proved to be the highly selective campaign material it clearly is.

    • walking boards says:

      There are quite a few users of the boardwalk to nowhere, plenty fish there and to be fair it is only stage 1, they are waiting for the feds to get their Reef HQ act together for the next stage, and then there is a bridge across the creek up near Monsoons, once Bazza has been “dealt with”.

      • The Magpie says:

        Popular with seagulls too.

        But re the bridges … always thought the options were running over the creek from the Strand, or possibly Wickham Terrace. Where did you mean?

        And if you have information we don’t, why didn’t the mayor take us into her confidence and explain why we spent $6m. NOW on an under-used fish platform?

        • walking boards says:

          last I heard, from someone who should know, was that the bridge was going across from the Monsoons end to just east of the jetty at Tomlins St.

          • The Magpie says:

            Only spitballing here (to use the appallingly crass US baseball saying) but one would guess that the Strand continuation will be high on the cards noiw that vWagners have bought the pub right across the creek from there.

  12. Prince Rollmop says:

    The Xmas tree issue goes deeper than just placing a tree somewhere. It goes to the heart of this Council under Hill’s control.

    Jenny’s mob of fuckwits do not consult, collaborate, listen, or engage with the community. For fucks sake, it is 3 years in a row that we have had issues and controversy surrounding the city Xmas tree. Seriously, you can’t make this shit up. No wonder the city is in so much debt and is falling apart. These clowns can’t get a tree’s placement correct, so how the hell can we expect them to carry out civil works, manage out ratepayer dollar, or build infrastructure correctly?

    “Show Hill the door in 24”

    • Pension Concession Card says:

      One of these monstrosities has appeared at Riverway. For some reason it reminds me of a Dr. Who Darlec. At any moment I am expecting to hear from the Christmas Darlec, “EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINATE”.

    • Lucy Downes says:

      Refreshing to read a comment from someone across this story. You’re correct, this has been ongoing for 3 years and it beggars belief that something as simple as location of a Christmas tree can be so hard.

      They just need to consult with the traders, as promised, and a solution will be found that will prevent all this negative press and damage control.

      TCC refusing to even reply to my emails about the issue is not going to make me go away.

      Thanks for contributing to the discussion Prince Rollmop.

      • The Magpie says:

        Lucy, you will have particularly appreciated Jenny Hill’s comment that people were asking why she hadn’t done it sooner.

        This town is right down the boghole while this women still infests Walker Street.

  13. White Mouse says:

    Pie, are you referring to George Soros (GOP bogeyman) or George Santos GOP CONgressman (emphasis on con)?

    • The Magpie says:

      oops … both are arsesoles, but Soros is the rich one.

      • Turdy says:

        Might be true, that they both are, Pie. On another note, there are plenty in this community who think you’re just an arsehole, too! :)

        • The Magpie says:

          The ‘Pie takes solace is the fact that science can keep people without a brain alive, but no one can live without an arsesole.

        • Arse About says:

          So Turdy, are you saying the Magpie is an arsehole because he informs us about things Jenny Hill and the Townsville Bulletin don’t want us to know?
          For example, the hundreds of council financial dealings that are claimed by the mayor to be commercial-in-confidence, including how many millions ratepayers fork out to prop up the V8 Supercars.
          Given the lack of transparency from the mayor and her team, people could be excused for confusing CIC with corruption-in-confidence.

  14. Colon cleanser says:

    The other point about arseholes is that they are useful. So technically speaking, Jenny Hill most certainly is not an arsehole. Then again….

    Speaking of arseholes, Aaron Harpic has a post on Facebook about him being in Brisbane for a ‘Youth, justice, reform committee’. No doubt they sat around speaking (dribbling) bullshit about how Labor is going to do this and going to do that….all bollocks..all they do is talk talk talk with no real action. We really need to vote out the Mullet in March and then Harpic, Messagebank, Cupcake and Palletchook. A clean sweep.

  15. Doug K says:

    I live across the creek from the $6 mill boardwalk from nowhere to nowhere and I’ve never seen anyone fishing from it.
    The Pie makes a good point: why did Jenny Hill have to build this latest white elephant now when it won’t be needed for years? The name of the builder might give a clue – Wagners.
    Could it be the same Wagners connected with Hill’s $18 mill Adani Airport fiasco?

    • The Magpie says:

      The very same … and the very same that Mayor Mullet’s former BFF Anna gifted a multi-million dollar sick joke called Wellcamp.

    • Spielcheque says:

      Doug, one reason for the timing might be that there was a $2.4 million contribution from the Queensland government to build the thing.
      Why Wagners? That was a little bit explained in a media release back in May:

      “Wagners CFT was selected as the Principal Contractor to build the boardwalk, with the inclusion of several local sub-contractors. The project used innovative products and technologies including Composite Fibre Technology that incorporates Reinforced Polymer Products that are ideal in a coastal environment owing to their resistance to rust, rot and corrosion.

      These products were manufactured by Wagners CFT in Queensland and offer an enhanced environmental solution compared to traditional construction materials, giving the boardwalk an expected 100-year design life for the engineering and materials.”

      I guess we’ll have to get our great grandchildren on the job to follow up on that promise.

      • The Magpie says:

        An explanation all of which is probably counts for nothing in terms of actual justification but with the government chucking in dough, it would appear to be a continuation the Premier’s close association with the group.

  16. The Magpie says:

    Well, goodness me!!

    … and this was the more grandiose on-line story …

    But let’s pause a minute … The Magpie is going to leave the crowing about any perceived ‘scoop’ to his beloved black avian brethren, and not claim this as yet another professional kick in the cods to the paper. Well, not quite.

    When Ms Downes contacted The ‘Pie, she did say that after fruitless attempts at meaningful talks on the issue with the council, she had decided (courageously in the ‘Pie’s view) to go the media … so it is fair to say that the Astonisher knew of the story and Ms Downes willingness to speak out before The Nest came out yesterday.

    But even so, Ms Downes contacted The ‘Pie on Thursday, so it is assumed she had already sent the Bulletin her well argued spray. This is evidenced by a planned photograph. Knowing the ways of a desperate Bulletin which hasn’t come to terms with the fact that it is no longer the arrogant gatekeeper of information in this town, iditor Gas Carvey unwisely decided to use Saturday’s more widely read paper to front page a story absolutely NO ONE gave a fuck about, and save this story critical of the mayor for the least-read paper of the week, Monday.

    As to the report itself, a couple of gems. This from the story:

    “Mayor Jenny Hill said they’d hope to create more of a community feel by moving the Christmas tree to The Strand this year.“We estimate we had between 10-12,000 people at the event (on Saturday night) and it had more of a community feel,” she said.”

    What, 10-12000 people, a crowd the size of an average mid-season Cowboys game concentrated in a small area of the Strand? Sounds like a Helen Keller head count to The ‘Pie, but happy to be contradicted if any Nesters were there. And even if half that number had attended the tree ceremony in Flinders Street, it would have been an excellent boost to the struggling, rate-paying businesses of the CBD.
    And at no stage did the mayor address the accusations of outright lying, indifference and arrogance made by Ms Downes. And as can only be expected from the Bulletin, no one pressed her on the question.

    Jenny, if you’re looking for ‘community feeling’, be careful what you wish for – maybe the community is finally getting a feeling about you and your council’s reptilian behaviour.

    • The Magpie says:

      Friendly note to reporter Natasha Emeck … check out the difference between ‘compliment’ and ‘complement’.

    • Numbers says:

      Well channel 7 has obviously tried counting the number of people attending the tree lighting. There daily local repot amongst the death of a young boy and multiple car thefts and subsequent fires, they reported that “hundreds turned out to see the lighting of the tree on the strand”

      Thousands hey?? Probably the price of the tree not the amount of people attending

    • Alahazbin says:

      Pie, I no longer read Ms Garvey’s’ ‘’ iditorials’ They are always cut & paste from a story already reported on another page. As a matter of the, I will no longer purchasing ‘the morning egg timer’ after my current purchase period runs out. They want to force me to go digital as well as hard copy for an increased price

    • Weary Dave says:

      “front page a story absolutely NO ONE gave a fuck about” … gold again mate

    • Lucy Downes says:

      Magpie, I can confirm that you were given the “scoop” first on the 23rd and that is because I knew you would respond in person and discuss the details prior to printing.
      As you did.
      And for that you got to break the story first.
      I then sent out a press release to The Bulletin on Friday but received no such engagement or interaction/follow up.
      They used a very old ( and very unflattering! :)) ) photo of me that they pulled from their archives and published the story on Monday.
      Zero effort.

      Thank you again for giving me the opportunity to speak up.

  17. Elusive Butterfly says:

    To Give Ms Emeck some slack Mr. Pie, she did write in the fourth par…

    “Hundreds of families headed to Strand Park for Townsville City Council’s first-ever ‘Christmas by the Beach’ event on Saturday night.”

    Some eight pars later, “Over the” Hill, had increased that number to between 10,000-12,000.
    Should never had been printed!
    The old…”bullshit baffles brains” scenario!

  18. Sable says:

    (Via Magpie email)
    OMG. Just how much is this Council spending on advertising? Or is it Commercial in Confidence? I realise there is a local election coming up, but seriously? Big Council glossy self promotion in our letter box, same glossy in Saturdays Bulletin, plus pages of advertisements. And we have huge rates, and low property values.

  19. Long Suffering Ratepayer says:

    I didn’t attend Jenny Hill’s attempt at playing Santa down on the Strand last weekend but I walked past it and I’d estimate the crowd at less than 1000.
    Jenny Hill has obviously being getting estimating lessons from TEL spin doctor Woolf and former Cowboys crowd calculator Rabieh Krayem.

    • White Mouse says:

      I didn’t attend either, but there was Facebook footage of Santa arriving in the Police buggy. Sad that it has got to the stage of Santa needing police protection in this town.

  20. The Magpie says:

    Atheists 1 Christians 0.

    Well, that’s what the headline looks like, anyway.

    • Pension Concession Card says:

      At one and a half hours into happy hour you got me thinking. (For that I congratulate you.)
      What if the Romans in Palestine used the electric chair as an instrument of execution instead of crucifixion.
      All throughout Chrisidom instead of crucifixes on walls, over alters, in the homes of the devout, and around virgins necks would be a dead bloke, wires still attached, strapped in his electric chair. Now, on that church on the corner of Charters Towers Rd and Bayswater road replace the crucifixes with JC in electric chair. Try explaining that to your 4 year old.
      It gets better. The Easter Passion story now would look more like a segment from the excellent movie, The Green Mile.
      I feel better now, refreshed for the remaining happy hours.

  21. The Magpie says:

    The ‘Pie knows he shouldn’t, but that’s never stopped him, sooo…ooo …
    Give us your best caption for this photo of Dear Beloved Leader Kim Il Jen.

    The ‘Pie will kick start it with a couple suitable numbers:
    ‘The working class,
    Can kiss my arse,
    I’ve got boss’s job to last.’

    …or maybe the old classic …

    ‘Who wants to be a millionaire: I am …’

    And folks, make ‘em funny, not just witless crap.

    • Prince Rollmop says:

      I think she is trying to swap over from the banjo part and having a try at the guitar side of ‘Duelling Banjos in Deliverance.

    • Hee Haw says:

      Mayor Jen very adept on the Lyre singing the Dolly Parton classic “working 10 till 2” as thousands watch on, both of whom said it was wonderful….when she stopped

    • White Mouse says:

      It’s a one eyed,
      One broom
      Flying purple doona wearer.

    • Achilles says:

      Oh! Christmas tree, Oh! Christmas tree,
      Where shall we plant thee?
      Not on the Mall, stuff Lucy’s call.

      I’m the leader of this band,
      Admired by all, throughout the land
      By my decree and guiding hand,
      In purple grand, shall transfer it to the strand.

      Chorus: Nah! its Townsville!

    • Inspector Clouseau says:

      ‘I love to have a beer with Dolan, ‘ cos Dolans me mate’! :)

    • HiBeam says:

      I’m jealous of all the people that haven’t met you.

    • A. L. Webber says:

      Old Jenny Hill she had a town,

      Ee i ee i o,

      And that there town had the highest rates,

      Ee i ee i o,

      Highest rates here, highest rates there,

      Highest rates here, there, everywhere,

      Old Jenny Hill she had a town,

      Ee i ee i o


      And that there town had the highest debt,

      Ee i ee i o

      Highest debt here, highest debt there,

      Highest debt here, there, everywhere,

      Old Jenny Hill she had a town,

      Ee i ee i o


      And that there town had lots of potholes,

      Ee i ee i o,

      Potholes here, potholes there,

      Potholes here, there, everywhere,

      Old Jenny Hill she had a town,

      Ee i ee i o


      And that there town had vacant shops,

      Ee i ee i o,

      Vacant shops here, vacant shops there,

      Vacant shops here, there, everywhere,

      Old Jenny Hill she had a town,

      Ee i ee i o


      And that there Mayor had a revhead car,

      Ee i ee i o,

      With a rev rev here, and a rev rev there,

      Rev rev here, there, everywhere,

      Old Jenny Hill she had a town,

      Ee i ee i o


      And in that town was Fran O’Callaghan,

      Ee i ee i o,

      Ray of hope here, and a ray of hope there,

      Ray of hope here, there, everywhere,

      Old Jenny Hill she lost that town,

      Ee i ee i o

    • Maggie Moggie says:

      Puff the Magic Dragon lived by the sea
      And frolicked in the humidity in a land called Dishonesty
      Little Lite on Leighton loved that rascal Puff
      And brought her strings, and stealing ways and other fancy stuff

      Oh Puff the magic Dragon lived by the sea…

  22. Doug K says:

    Saw video footage on Seven last night of the Jenny Hill’s claimed 10,000-12,000 crowd at her Christmas Jolly down on The Strand last weekend.
    She needs a new calculator.

    • White Mouse says:

      I’ve been told that the 10k figure was over the 5 hours of the event. Maybe a lot of people went for the food later on (or maybe they just counted everyone who walked through the park while exercising).

      • The Magpie says:

        Hey that’s a great idea for crowd calculation … every busker who plays for 5 hours on a busy street or mall can claim an audience of 20,000 or so.

      • Long Suffering Ratepayer says:

        Oh Mousey, surely you’ve twigged by now that Jenny Hill and TEL just pick a number, any number, that suits their cause. The Townsville Bulletin never challenges them to justify their “estimates”, so they know they can get away with anything. They’ve been doing it for years. It happens when the local newspaper goes for advertising revenue over ethics.

      • Charlie Wulguru says:

        The Dirty Rotten Thing said on Channel 7 (where else) that the only feedback they received was people asking why they hadn’t moved the Christmas tree to the Strand sooner. What a Horror.

        • The Magpie says:

          yes, she is such a fake, but the boonies buy it.

        • Lucy Downes says:

          Hey Charlie, Can you remember which night that Ch7 report was? Because I am sorely tempted to call them out on that. It was the Ch7 report a week ago claiming that ” city businesses campaigned to have the Christmas tree relocated out of the city” that added fuel to the fire for me.

          It was a blatant lie that I believe was fed to them by TCC but never fact checked.
          Like this claim that ” we have been asked why this wasn’t done sooner” .

          More bollocks!

  23. Prince Rollmop says:

    Frothy was out at the airport yesterday for the Bonza launch. He was strutting around like a peacock. What a complete goose.

    • The Magpie says:

      (Not sure if the airline staff actions are yet known to the public, so please feel free to copy and paste this comment on your own social media platforms.)

      Off point a bit, but The ‘Pie wishes Bonza all success – providing they don’t behave like the majors.

      Here’s a tale that exemplifies ‘we couldn’t give a flying fuck’ – and this time its not management.

      Magpie daughter and family booked from Melbourne to Gold Coast on Sunday with Virgin, arrived at Tullamarine at 6.30am well in time for flight, got to the gate only to see the grim-faced cabin and flight crew marching of the plane, and passengers advised they wouldn’t be on their way – until 6pm!! Teenage grandson was boarded on another flight then ‘de-boarded’ – no wonder we have to make up awkward new words like de-boarding for new militant bastardry.

      Daughter says while talking to the Virgin Lounge front desk, the woman was frustrated and said she was fed up,’I’m sick of making excuses and I’m not supposed to tell you but …’ and then spilled the beans by detailing how the flight crews are currently in enterprise/pay negotiations that are not going their way. ‘So they are doing rolling unannounced no-shows on flights.’
      Daughter counted 8 cancelled flights on Sunday’s board at Tullamarine, and every other flight was delayed.
      So it’s not always management, just much vaunted unions trying to use the flying public as weapons in their negotiations.
      No wonder they want to keep their unannounced action quite.
      Despicable, sneaky and sometimes dangerous tactics, that is inviting government intervention … but hardly likely with a Labor government currently headed by aviation aficionado Anthony Albanese.

    • Elusive Butterfly says:

      What Bonza launch??

    • The Magpie says:

      So what are you, the June Dally Watkins of the boondocks political class, eh? Shoulders back, head up but don’t strut?

  24. Truckie’s knot says:

    So Townsville Enterprise’s campaign ‘Townsville North Queensland – Up for Unexpected’ received a highly commended for the Tourism Marketing and Campaigns award due to its success in bringing tourists to Townsville. Madam Bumme-smith wilould have been dripping with excitement as her team of mostly female staff accepted this award for bringing tourists to Townsville. The only growth in Townsville is a growth in crime and Brisbane teens and gangs coming to Townsville to mix with local grubs to steal cars and commit crimes.

    • The Magpie says:

      You may interpret the facts as given and make up your own mind, but any party willing to create such anxiety, discomfort and personal disruption for passengers (with the ripple effect flowing out to those waiting at the other end) need to rethink their strategy. If they think they will get the sympathy and support of those who are pincered in this strike action, they are in for a surprise.

      Don’t know if pilots are included in this action or just can’t fly without cabin crew, but people on pilot’s sort of money would be on very thin moral ice, and cabin crew aren’t exactly on or anywhere near the breadline. Using the public as a blunt instrument before all else is attempted in a negotiated settlement will have its own consequences.

      • Terry P Dactyl says:

        No, this will not impact on the airlines AT ALL…people still have to fly regardless…whether they give a shit about wildcat cancellations or not they will still fly…what are they going to do? Go by bus? Airlines are a law unto themselves…

        • The Magpie says:

          yes, exactly what The ‘Pie was implying.

        • White Mouse says:

          Hawkie said that pilots were glorified bus drivers at one stage. Of course he didn’t have to worry about that strike, as he had a RAAF piloted government jet at his disposal.

          • The Magpie says:

            A typical Hawke union-standard childish insult which is of course nonsense, if only in terms of respective responsibility, training and education – it’s like saying a prime minister is just a glorified first term back bencher. Oh, wait a sec … hmmm ….

      • FF says:

        Commercial aircraft can’t fly without cabin crew as they are a major component of the safety program on board – they push the punters out the exit and launch liferafts and tell Karen to leave her carryon on board.

        Oh and you might be surprised at how much pilots get paid, unless you are flying internationally with major seniority, or into difficult areas, then a 1st officer won’t get much more than 70k

        • The Magpie says:

          Thank you for the insight, captain obvious. The ‘Pie stands by his comments, despite your barracking for massive social disruption.

          And fyi the average pilot salary in Australia is $106,883 per year or $54.81 per hour. Entry-level positions start at $93,276 per year, while most experienced workers make up to $144,129 per year.

          Cabin crew average around $62k, (starting in $53k and reaching as high as $87K.

  25. Echochamber says:

    From the Courier Mail on todays sitting of Parliament…….

    Les Walker apologises for ‘misleading’ comments

    Mundingburra MP Les Walker has apologised for potentially misleading comments he made in a previous contribution to parliament.

    Mr Walker on Tuesday issued a personal explanation for the unspecified comments, noting they “may have been misleading”.

    “My language used could have been more precise,” he said.

    He offered an “unreserved and sincere” apology.

    No idea what comments he made in this alleged ” previous contribution to parliament”. Probably wouldn’t be hard to find though given his no doubt limited contribution over the years, beyond apologising for his behaviour. Whatever it was though I’m surprised he didn’t cite concussion as to the reason for his imprecise language.

    • The Magpie says:

      What makes you think it would be easy to find, since everything he has ever said deserves an apology. Suppose the time frame might help, but so what, every word the man says is a lie … and that includes ‘and’ and ‘the’.

  26. Jeff, Condon says:

    …And a piece of old news. After receiving a recent email, I double checked the information and confirmed that the ABC reported in June, this year, the Broken Hill City Council has stopped paying for welcome to country ceremonies. They had been paying $150.00 -.$250.00 each time.

    The BHCC said they believed welcoming addresses should be genuine and not given just to get money. They reiterated that the welcomes could still be given but they wouldn’t be paid for.

    One of the (former?) participants said she was ”outcasted”.

    • Alfred E Neuman says:

      Outcasted? This from the dictionary, but it still does not make a lot of sense to me. It is an odd word.

      past tense: outcasted; past participle: outcasted


      cause (someone) to lose their caste.

      “he has deliberately elected to outcaste himself”

      • The Magpie says:

        Seems obvious is just the latest in the growing trend to turn a noun into a verb, and we all know the accepted meaning of ‘outcast’.

        The Magpie well remembers when he was the paper, a certain councillor wrote a letter to the ed saying he had been ‘Magpied’. That prompted the old bird to start that week’s column “Last night I went to bed a noun, but woke up this morning a verb.”

        • Jeff, Condon says:

          You’re all overthinking it, she’s undereducated and has wangled her turds.

          • The Magpie says:

            This unsavoury and mysterious comment has been published only in the hoped that someone might explain what the term ‘wangled her turds’ means? It sounds like something maypole dancers would chant as they slapped their knees.

          • Achilles says:

            ‘wangled her turds’ is a spoonerism

          • The Magpie says:

            Ah! Thanks. The ‘Pie was blinded by unsavoury visions of some sort of ancient fortune telling before tea leaves became available.

          • Achilles says:

            Maypole dancers would chant as they slapped their knees.????

            I think you meant Morris Dancers!

          • The Magpie says:

            The Magpie was referring to the progressive rogue group of maypole dancers, whose collective leadership decided they were losing as entertainers to the more wildly popular Morris Dancers. So in a bid to wrestle the TV rights away from ‘the nancy prancers’ (as they call Morris Dancers), the breakaway Maypole dancers are now introducing new elements to their traditional routine, and slapping there knees is the least of it, mate …. the pole itself will be used for the more robust change that will see winsome young lasses twirling acrobatically around it, possibly displaying a glimpse of bloomers. PHHHROOW!!

          • Alfred E Neuman says:

            I looked up ‘wrangled her turds’. Most unsavoury results, then the light bulb came on.

            Wrangled her turds.
            Mangled her words.

          • The Magpie says:

            Yeah. Tangled actually.

  27. The Magpie says:

    Slim pickin’s if the crime is robbery – that really would be the definition of desperation, given the patronage.

  28. Spielcheque says:

    Many have probably heard the story of the bloke who, confronted with a woman in some sort of personal plumbing distress said, “I’m not a gynaecologist but I’ll be happy to take a look”. Now apparently, a new class of neo-competents is emerging, at least in America:


    • The Magpie says:

      Yes, that’s an utterly absurd and dangerous notion. Why, it';s just like someone with no financial acumen, moral integrity, common decency or leadership skills suggesting he – or she – could be an effective mayor of a medium size Australian city.

  29. Mystified says:

    So Spielcheque, or is it Jimmy Olsen in disguise, the government funding for Jenny Hill’s boardwalk from nowhere to nowhere had to be spent immediately?
    First time I’ve heard that explanation for out of character Jenny Hill behaviour. Take the funding for the so-called Concert Hall for example. If you apply your theory it should have been built two years ago not kicked down the road to avoid offending the local performing arts community in the lead-up to an election. But the waters appear to get murkier in Ross Creek. Who owns the Toowoomba company that purchased the Metropole Hotel about the same time the useless boardwalk turned fishing platform was finished? Wouldn’t be Wagners would it?
    Media report around that time said “One of Townsville’s historic hotels — closed to the public since the onset of Covid-19 in 2020 — is set to be reopened under new ownership as a traditional Aussie pub.
    Toowoomba’s KPAT Hotels & Pubs has bought the Metropole Hotel in Palmer St, South Townsville, one of city’s first two-storey brick pubs, as well as the 12-level 104-room Oaks hotel behind the pub and adjoining land in Archer St.
    KPAT managing director Kenneth Wagner said the opportunity arose to buy the property off-market and they considered it a good opportunity in a stable market.”
    Might be worth a “join the dots” investigation Leighton.

    • The Magpie says:

      Regular Nesters will guess that you are a new member of our merry band – and welcome you are – because everything you have said … all absolutely true …. has been discussed at length and speculated upon by The ‘Pie and others in past blogs. Indeed, (humblebrag) The ‘Pie was first to make the link with the Metropole, boardwalk and future bridge.

    • Spielcheque says:

      No, Mystified, I did not suggest the QG money had to be spent immediately. I think the $2.4 million was drawn from a larger amount called the Works for Queensland program. It may have a use-by date. I don’t know. The point I was trying to make was that the funding of the boardwalk was not entirely down to ratepayers.
      About the pedestrian bridge, if you google “East End Boardwalk” there is a diagram at the bottom which shows the (OK, “proposed” and “location TBC”) future connection directly into Tomlins Street. Long term the pedestrian links on the south side look like they will pass by the front of the Metropole Hotel all the way to the cruise ship terminal.
      Remind me; was the concert hall project contingent on federal as well as QG funding?

      • The Magpie says:

        Well, dud cheque you’ve settled one argument – you are certainly NOT reporter Leighton Smith, as someone has suggested. Too much researched information. But The ‘Pie does like how you disguise your agenda of supporting the mayor as though you are just an interested bystander.

        • Spielcheque says:

          Ah yes, disguised agendas. So, on the subject of the ‘bridge across the creek extending from the end of the Strand’, I recall that was a brain fart arising from the proposed 700-unit canal proposal in the ‘duckpond’ in front of the casino. That project was going to need a squillion metres of breakwater and revetment rock and fill which would otherwise have to be trucked from the south side (say, Roseneath) down Flinders Street east. The brain fart was for a TEMPORARY road bridge which would be removed when the earth/rock moving was completed. I would imagine that any bridge which prevented reasonably sized vessels (ferries) going up the creek to about vicinity Monsoons would be unlikely to get approval but, then again . . . . the stadium, railway station, Adani airport – you never know.

          • Alahazbin says:

            Pie, Spielcheque can’t be ‘lightweight’ just read the astonisher everyday and there is the proof.

  30. Alfred E Neuman says:

    White Elephant Stadiums

    It seems the rose coloured glasses wearing politicians of Hobart are about to fuckup just as the Townsville bunch did. It would be prudent for the Hobart mob to look north. It has been proved that, build it, and they will not necessarily come. The Bass Strait is just as big logistics impediment as is the distance to Nth Qld.


  31. Old Tradesman says:

    It’s good to see that our illustrious eke taking lobbyist young Dolan Hayes has spread his wings into the Redlands Shire.

  32. Airline says:

    With my retirement I now have time to read the local Townsville Bulletin (What a Waste) I notice that Today 29/11 page 25 Business A large picture of 2 girls shopping headline “Buyers swarm shops to lock in a discount ” caption below photo . “””” & “”””hit the shops at CAIRNS CENTRAL to grab some bargains .Is the Local TOWNSVILLE BULLETN Too lazy to use a local photo shoot or does the Cairns Post have a Picture of Townsville Shoppers What D*** H***DS our local News Paper has become ???

  33. In These Times -Personal Responsibility says:

    Did you know, without even getting into the CTH Criminal Code or crimes Act general dishonesty and fraud provisions as they applies to the Fair Work Act , or state criminal offences relating to dishonesty – that company directors (bosses) who use their powers recklessly, dishonestly or for an improper purpose are guilty of an offence under s184 of the CTH Corporations Act ?


  34. Doug K says:

    Regarding the proposed new bridge across Ross Creek, my understanding is that it will be a pedestrian bridge.
    Not sure if e-scooters and bikes will be allowed but they probably will (sigh).
    Apparently the current plan is for it to cross from Flinders Street East to Plume Street (behind the Yacht Club to avoid having to close down the marina).
    Makes sense because punters could have a bite to eat at one of the excellent restaurants on Palmer Street and then walk across the bridge to the Mad Cow for a few sherbets.
    Given that Messageblank Walker has been involved in fun and games on both sides of the creek, perhaps he could be invited to open the bridge – if it ever gets built.

  35. Spielcheque says:

    Magnis may lie down and have a rest every now and again but it soon raises its head. Today there is a fresh AGM report complete with positive outlook (nothing to do with Townsville of course but fabulous spectator blood sport):

    “There is continued interest in the Magnis businesses
     Currently in discussions with our existing lender Baupost Group. A term sheet is in place and is being worked on by the investor and lender. We are in the due diligence phase. We hope to announce a new loan agreement.
     Nachu graphite mining project – we have a roadmap towards negotiations for finance for both iM3NY and for Nachu
     DOE Grant – We are in on-going discussions with the DoE on clarifications to the agreement and look forward to providing you with an update when we can.”

    • The Magpie says:

      The Chinese have been blocking the Nachu mine, they don’t like the competition. They’ve been buggering up Magnis mining plans in Tanzania for years, using the Belt and Road Initiative. And yes and no, nothing to do with Townsville except to highlight the lack of due diligence from our mayor, who enjoyed a US jolly per the company a while back. Think IBM or some such also hosted jaunting Jenny, on a similar trip …

    • Spielcheque says:

      Fresh from the AGM is a score card of each of the motions put up at the meeting. Basically, everything was ‘carried’ except a vote to issue some directors shares. In our Frank’s case the rejection was quite heavy handed:

      In favour 12,905,703 11.02%
      Against 102,305,871 87.36%
      Abstain 1,900,370 1.62%

      Not Carried

      Ho hum.

  36. The Magpie says:

    WATCHER, won’t be publishing that until confirmed … big surprise if true. Where did you get it from? Cn’t see it on the Astonisher site – although that doesn’t mean anything.

      • The Magpie says:

        Thanks, story has now broken.

        • Jeff, Condon says:

          I had some 15 years in various parts QLD Corrections and I came to the conclusion that the sexual perverts in all their varieties are measured at per thousand in the Townsville region, rather than at per hundred thousand for other areas.

          Though not a catholic, I am disappointed to hear at the accusations against Father Lancini.

          • The Magpie says:

            Regarding your comments about incest …. have you been fucking drinking?

          • The Magpie says:

            Jeff, as you will note and as a favour to you should your identity become known, The Magpie has deleted your fruitloopery about incest and such. Apart from being irrelevant to anything, it is gratuitously insulting and baseless – particularly insulting to special needs people.

            Try to stay of the turps when you commenting here, please.

          • The Magpie says:

            Received and read, thank you.

        • Charlie Wulguru says:

          I remember one of my Grandmother’s sayings, years ago. ” Beware the Man of the Cloth”.

          • The Magpie says:

            Yeah, I had a tailor like that once, short sleeves, no buttonhole, dressed me the wrong side, and only one leg with a turn up … and a bill that stitched me up.

  37. Non-aligned says:

    This is going to cause grief for many in the North as Dave Lancini is highly respected inside and outside the Catholic church.


    • The Magpie says:

      50 years ago!!! Fatherc dave says the allegations aren’t true. Until proven otherwise, I for one believe him.

      • Non-aligned says:

        I cannot remember in fine detail matters from 50 years ago. I do remember family and work stories told many times over the years which, on examination, have changed over the years of telling.

        All we can hope that the court is fair and reasonable.

        • The Magpie says:

          And well informed with facts, this is such a grey area of the law. And now large wads of compensation are often on the table, such prosecutions must be extra rigorous.

          And no, this isn’t accusing the alleged victim reputational damage, because we will never know who he is, not even after the trial is over. And even if he hasn’t proved his case.

      • Ben Rumson says:

        In this YouTube clip Phillip Thompson states that he will initiate a petition to reverse this bizarre decision making by SA labor. Let us all keep a lookout for this petition.


  38. Mike Douglas says:

    I assume Aaron Harper is receiving extra income for being on the Youth Justice Committee which majority committee members voted to have him removed . Aaron posted he was proud to represent Townsville yet he continues to ask people who question his statementts to get off his Facebook page or deletes their comments . How do we know what Aaron is doing to represent Townsvilles Community expectations ? .

  39. Jason H says:

    I believe the allegations against Lancini. The cops don’t charge people for no reason. The investigation would’ve been solid. Most catholic priests are boy lovers, it’s been proven over and over again, so it’s not a surprise.

    • The Magpie says:

      Cops do charge people on circumstantial evidence, which you’d think was the case here, in matters like these, generally proof that the complainant and the accused were in the same proximity … 50 years ago. But much more to come on this one, and the forthright denial is different to other recent similar cases.

      Lot more to come out about this, but The Magpie will now let the matter proceed ithout any barracking from The Nest.

  40. Ma Kelly says:

    Where are ya Steve/Stevie of Belgian Gardens? Given up, or posting under another nom de plume?? Hope to see you watching the dryers spin soon! :)

  41. Jeff, Condon says:

    And for a final piece of fruit loopery, the SA Labor Govt has passed legislation removing the names of all SA public holidays for no coherent reason. Don’t these people have anything better to do?

  42. Jeff, Condon says:

    The SA Govt has removed the names of all fixed public holiday names by legislation. Floating dates, such as Good Friday and Easter Monday names will remain on the calendar. No coherent reason has been given for the changes, however, the suspicion has been expressed that this will make it easier to change the date of Australia Day. The following link refers:

    Surprisingly, the RSL SA Branch has endorsed the removal of the title “Anzac Day” from the calendar, simply referred to as 25 April Public Holiday:

    • The Magpie says:

      This screams ‘hidden agenda’ if ever a government move does. There are only two significant dates involved in change, Australia Day and (good luck, SA) Anzac Day. The Magpie reckons they had to include Anzac Day to disguise their real target, Australia Day … if Anzac Day wasn’t included, the the RW claqueurs would be braying at the moon about discrimination. The historical significance of April 25 will NEVER be known as anything else but Anzac Day, cf the massive swelling in attendance figures of the current generation in recent years, as young people look for some national pride dignity and tradition in their politically star-crossed country.

      But the relative new Australia Day doesn’t relate in the same way. But as long it remains a national holiday (pretty sure nationally mandated public holidays can’t be dated changed by states – Queensland”s Labor Day shenanigans don’t reach the required ‘reverence’) at the traitorous SA woke mob can claim they’ve taken the sting out of the ‘offence’.

      The SARSL response is unintelligible waffle, apparently the result of government strong-arming, and reads like it was written after a marathon session in the Glenelg Branch’s Long Tan Bar.

      Reckon this is going to be a massive ‘woke’ fizzer, with a Labor Government only managing to sow further division and discontent to satisfy a noisy minority.

  43. Achilles says:

    The thought police are at it again, the BBC are about to run Arthur Ransome’s Swallows and Amazons/Armenians.

    But Titty (Mavis) will become Tatty and Dick becomes Dack, They are both preteens, 4F’s sake!!!!!


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