Cowboys members are strange cattle – hyperactive about and at the game, but almost totally apathetic when it comes to having a say in who runs their Leagues Club. Which is probably why the management has tried on one of the clumsiest … and perhaps unethical … bullyboy tactics for the current board elections. The ‘Pie investigates.
The Great White Hoax – the front page said we did, the story inside said we didn’t – a classic Bulletin over-reach which gets the Steggles Egg On Face Award for the week…
Council crunch time … the bean counters are buttock-clenching and Mayor Mullet is sweating bullets that the council will have to borrow money AGAIN to pay wages before then end of the financial year.
… and never judge a book by it’s cover … the hilarious passenger prank that has gone viral.
But First
If you thought Donald Trump has cornered the market in arrogant dismissal of reality, you’d be wrong.
That honour would surely have to go to grubby tubby Clive Mensink, recalcitrant gun-shy nephew of Clive Palmer, who has first been too ill to travel to explain his suspected rorting role in the collapse of Queensland Nickel. Then he changed tack, and decided he’d be on safer ground claiming he was bonding with his new girlfriend on a globetrotting jaunt after the trauma of a recent divorce. You could almost see the waves of sympathy and understanding emanating from the Townsville suburbs of the unemployed nickel workers. Even the girlfriend ploy didn’t work, when said female turned up in Brisbane without her lard-laden lover, who remains jaunting overseas out of reach of the courts pro tem.
But Bentley doesn’t think Mensink was fibbing about being sick …
At least Christopher Skase had the good grace to cark it.
And Just To Get It Out Of The Way …
The Trump tragedy continues apace, and enough is written elsewhere about it without The ‘Pie hyperventilating. But he did like this which was dropped into the Nest by Melbourne mate Bruce.
Red, white and blue – a patriotic parrot
During a lull between the speeches at a recent presidential ceremony, Melania Trump leaned over to chat with the Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson.
“You know, I bought Donald a parrot for Christmas. That bird is so smart, Donald has already taught him to say over two hundred words!”
“Wow, that’s pretty impressive,” said Tillerson, “But you do realise that he just speaks the words, he doesn’t really understand what they mean.”
“Oh, I know,” Melania replied, “Neither does the parrot.”
The Bulletin Inadvertently Explains Why This City Is So Deep In The Shit.
From today’s paper:
The Astonisher clearly has adopted the Trump policy of saying it often enough will make it come true.
AND YOU JUST WAIT A SEC THERE, GALS! Before you huffily hoist up the bib and braces on your industrial boilersuits and head furiously for the keyboard, allow The ‘Pie to point out that his critical comment in the above headline is referring to what is between the ears of those in the photographs, not what is between their legs. Never fear, The ‘Pie is in touch with his feminine side. Often.
‘In Touch’ Doesn’t Appear To Apply To The Cowboys Leagues Club Board
And it seems that’s the way they like it, demonstrated by the latest extraordinary move that sees club management threaten candidates in the current board election with everything short of electrified nipple clips if they actually CAMPAIGN for votes.
There’s a lot more to this than you’ll get anywhere else, particularly in the Astonisher.
The club’s board has always been a cosy club within a club, generally rubber-stamping whatever Laurence Lancini and his gofers dictate. Not that there is always something amiss in what Lozza wants, but that sort of operation raises eyebrows for a community club supported by member finances. But it is clear the board and club management are determined to ensure the status quo prevails.
Today, Saturday, coinciding with the Cowboys’ season kick-off on field, elections started and will run until next Saturday for two vacancies on the board … such vacancies coming up every two years and are compulsorily rotated. The money isn’t significant … The ‘Pie believes it is about $400 for each quarterly meeting but there’s more to it than that. Six people have nominated for the two spots, and there are some interesting ones in the line-up.
Councillor Ann-Maree Greaney, the likeable Division 2 councillor and former Townsville Council protocol officer in the days of Dolan Hayes media office. She is well liked in her current position, and her nomination will lift her profile in line with Mayor Mullet’s succession plan, which will see Les Walker become mayor and Ms Greaney his deputy.
Also in there is the super popular walloper Sergeant Janelle Poole, (mis-named Jan-Maree Pool on the ballot paper – wonder they didn’t call her Tobruk) who was a candidate on Jane Arlett’s council ticket last election.
But the really interesting nominee who has certainly attracted management attention is the perennial burr under the board’s saddle, Jim Gleeson, former city councillor, shearer, miner, former union tough guy and devoted Cowboys club man who has served on the board before. Jumbo always speaks up for member’s interests, and he is no shrinking violet, which tends to upset the Guggi-clad suits on the board, who have more than once shown their frustration with Jim’s straight talk.
Members love Jumbo, as the previous election shows … he got more votes than all the other eight candidates combined (including the one single vote for Ray Burton, then council CEO). At the time, Jim told The Magpie the result was because he was the only person who talked with and was known by many of the membership. He quietly and politely canvassed votes without raising any complaints, while the other candidates had hardly ever set foot in the club (and that includes most of the current permanent board). So Jim’s winning margin was not really surprising. And it annoyed the shit out of the board.
But therein lies a tale in itself. The club boasts more than 20,000 members and is still heading well north of that figure. But there were just 230 votes cast in that previous election. Reminds one of the old joke whether it is ignorance or apathy, and the answer is they don’t know and they don’t care. But it certainly suits the board, which clearly believes less is more – power to them. And they don’t seem to go out of their way to advertise the ballot, just a pissy little notice in the little-read Bulletin, and that there simply because it is a legal requirement.
Now, management is actively encouraging members to NOT take an interest in the election.
In fact, in a highly questionable manoeuvre – which one would say flies in the face of what member-based clubs are all about – virtually all campaigning has been banned on club premises! All candidates got these severe riding orders shortly after they nominated.
That bottom line there is probably whacked in as a legal out should anyone choose to challenge the restrictions, which suggest members have been ‘harassed’ in the past, although no complaints have been cited. And the restrictions will now make it a simple matter for management to claim a complaint, real, imagined or more important, set up and manufactured. That would be one sure-fire way of removing that burr from under the board’s saddle.
Voting goes to next Saturday. Any intervening matters and the eventual outcome will be interesting to say the least.
‘The Vision Thing’ … Sadly Lacking It Seems
But they’re always undecided under their ten gallon hats, down there. They want people to flood into the CBD for matches (all 22 per year of them) and then swell the club’s coffers afterwards … but the Gilded Elite of the board have also decided that they want to move the club to Mt Louisa. That move would be seen as almost visionary if the playing venue was to remain where it is. But it doesn’t seem to make sense when the Lancini-led stampede for a CBD stadium has been conducted at a level of hysteria that would see other campaigners led away by white coated men in other circumstances. Don’t know who owns the Mt Louisa land, or what the deal will be with the Cowboys’ current site. Maybe someone is in this for the long game.
And there appears to be a growing public concern that a major opportunity is being disastrously missed here, due to the prevailing ‘instant everything and we want it NOW’ attitude.
After two years squawking in the wildness, The Magpie is no longer alone in his calls for the new venue to cover all sports – and so cover the interests of ALL tax payers footing the bill. A letter to iditor from David Kippin demonstrates the Magoo-like myopia prevailing around the place. Kippin baldly states that an oval to accommodate inter alia cricket and Aussie Rules is just too expensive (rubbish!) and, besides RL is king, the other codes aren’t needed.
So much for George Bush Snr called ‘the vision thing’. Around here, we simply outsource the ‘vision thing’ to outsiders, mainly as a political delaying tactic, while people who actually live here can’t get their voices heard in the gaggle of self-interests populating the political hen house.
Some argue that the stadium can be expanded at a later stage. Would that be after the sorely needed, revenue raising Entertainment Centre is added (sometime in the next 20 years) or before that? We all know about the Queensland government ‘staging’ of projects. The much ballyhooed ring road (motorway, ha!) was initially a first stage one-lane-each-way blacktop, and some years later, the second stage making it two lanes each way was added, at approximately two and a half times the cost of the initial stage. Thank you Snooze, thank you, Cuddlepie.
Sad to say, that’s what we can expect with this stadium/entertainment complex from this current mob of myopic political game players. CBD business people should be outraged. The Chamber of Commerce likes the stadium idea, but there have been rumblings that it could designed to be better utilised. The ‘Pie is hoping incoming Chamber president Debbie Rains will fall heavily on the Magoo parade.
Quote Of The Week, Decade, Century
Graham Richardson recently celebrating his 65th birthday with family at The Watermark.
‘It is a fact that Aborigines commit most of the criminal acts in Townsville. Nothing can be done about this tragedy unless, as a starting point, the correlation between Aboriginal and crime is made openly and publicly. You can’t fix a problem you won’t acknowledge even exists.’
That was Graham Richardson’s call for sensible debate open debate on this corrosive issue. In an excellent article, for the publication of which The Bulletin is to be commended, he also noted that most offenders come from elsewhere, ‘have little or no education and no skills which would be attractive to an employer’, and have no respect for law or property.
But most telling – and refreshing – of all is this analysis: ‘So many of us are in some way embarrassed or ashamed of our total failure to “close the gap”, we lean heavily to finding ways to withhold criticism of our native Australians.’
That is an invitation to sensible debate, and not redneck ranting – or black neck ranting from the other side, either. More power to Richo and the Bulletin. The paper has vowed to continue the dialogue.
The Great White Hoax
See this last Monday? (You are probably in the majority and didn’t, so The ‘Pie will show you.)
Note the come-on strap …
So lickety split we turn to the inside story …
Gosh, really, truly, they talked to The Man about a building one of his golf courses here?
Well, actually, no they didn’t.
Despite what it said on the front page, we read this in the story itself.
Whatever that meant. Bit coquettish, no?
The ‘nudge nudge wink wink’ description of ‘remained tight-lipped’ deliberately suggests Mayor Mullet knows something she wasn’t telling … she certainly wasn’t going to let on that this was all a political grandstanding waste of time.
So basically, according to one and all, we essentially just said ‘G’day, Greg, hope you enjoy visiting your boyhood home’, and that was that. The mayor also no doubt apologised for being late from her prior engagement no doubt explaining ‘but my Vogue fashion shoot was delayed when the camera lens cracked … no one knows why.’
BTW, reporter Kieran Rooney please note: look up the meaning of the word ‘iconic’ … Mr Norman’s private jet is hardly a ‘representative symbol’ of the great man. A number one driver maybe, but a jet, no.
The definition of ‘icon’ is ‘a thing regarded as a representative symbol of something’, then ergo, the word ‘iconic’ is iconic of the Townsville Bulletin’s literary ignorance. Learn some fucking English. Jeez!!! The word should be banned from newspapers anyway. Lazy parroting by nincompoops.
And Besides The ‘Pie Has Just Scooped You’re Exclusive, Kieran
The ‘Pie has EXCLUSIVELY received a copy of a thank you note Greg Norman has sent to mayor Mullet.
An if an icon is a representative of someone, this will be never be iconic for Mayor Mullet.
But Psst Hey Mayor, While You’re Out Strutting, Achieving Nothing …
How’s the Walker Street payroll going, dearie? Well, really not much point in asking you (and no one else will, anyway) but you must be sweating on getting this year’s rates money into the coffers quick-smart, with disaster looming. Again.
Is another round of borrowing to pay staff wages, like last August/September, on the cards? Your next budget sure is going to make interesting reading. No matter how you dolly it up in a calico dress and plaster it with lipstick, this pig of a budget is going to be always that … a pig.
The state of play in these council financial matters is supposed to be released quarterly, but they seem to have been squirrelled away, no doubt hidden in an ‘executive summary’ that itself hasn’t been advertised.
But The ‘Pie is sure if he’s wrong, that nice and helpful media boss Mr Tony Wode will forward The ‘Pie all the relevant documentation to prove what a wanker the old bird really is.
And A Couple Of Things In Passing
All sub-editors know that innuendo is not an Italian suppository, so whatever were they thinking at the SMH recently when this teaser headline was posted.
Amusing until you learn that the poor bloody woman has a serious medical condition. Careless at best, but if it was on purpose, an apology is well in order.
Finally, The ‘Pie has always loathed practical jokes, especially the ones that humiliate someone minding their own business. But this particular one didn’t do that, and The ‘Pie thought it funny (bloody side-splitting actually) and clever enough to share. The idea is simple … get on a crowded train and start reading a conspicuously titled book. Challenge you not laugh. (Thanks, Sandgroper).
That’s it for this week, comments run 24/7, have your say, join The Magpie on Facebook and the old bird twitters occasionally, like most birds. If you can support these efforts with a donation, it will help this labour of love immensely. The How To Donate button is below.
