But wait … is there an unintended political message in the design?

You Done Me Wrong .… an alternative title for conman Troy Thompson’s blunder into print … yes, he’s publishing a whinge-ography book about his plummet from grace,  but suddenly, we at The Nest find we have to update his alias of ‘TwoNames’ to ‘ThreeNames’.

The TCC might be trimming staff, but the Dudley Do Nothings aka TEL get four new board members, expanding their overall numbers by two .But despite solid career backgrounds, will the newbies bring the basic business ethics of their day jobs to the TEL table.  Wouldn’t count on it.

The latest Lansdown word salad from the TCC again shows why the TCC should not be developers.

Overseas, when it comes to the Orange Abomination, while there’s lots of funny weird, there’s rare funny haha  but a two word answer in a BBC comedy quiz show had The ‘Pie ROTFLMAO.  That’s included at our weekly look at the whacko week in the US.

If you like to ensure that The Nest remains your weekly ad-free read, you can help by throwing in a few shekels to help meet the blog’s ever-present costs. The link for a much needed donation is at the bottom of this week’s edition.  

Lunkheads And Logos … Putting the Oh Oh into the OOC.

As one commentator said ‘the Olympic Organising Committee  had one job and …’   That job was to keep this secret until Monday.

But on Friday night, someone on the design team accidentally put this up on a YouTube post with a video – clearly meant for Monday release – titled ‘emblem explainer’. It had been put together to share  the thinking behind the design. It was only up in public for ‘a brief time and was quickly pulled down’.  But ‘quick’ in this electronic age really has no meaning, so there it was out in the world on Saturday morning for OOC members to admire while wiping the egg on their faces.

As the same commentator added,’ One wonders if organisers can’t get the basics like the emblem rollout right, what does that say about the rest of the Games rollout as a whole?‘ Sports Minister and former NRL referee Tim Mander was really caught offside, and tried to bluff his way out of it,  which met with open scoffing from one interviewer.

The idea is that the Pink Crested Cockatoo  and the Sulphur Crested Cockatoo represent the Olympic and Paralympic Games respectively. Now, let it be said, the design is nicely thought out, and visually fine.  But the historic inadequacy of words describing the visual was evident when we read the official explanation.

“Inspired by our reef, beaches, hinterland, and everything in between, they bring together the places, people and spirit that will take us to 2032. Distinctive. Unmistakably Queensland. And just a little bit cheeky.”

What? Said cockatoos are bloody everywhere in this country.

The statement went on that the design was meant to symbolise Queensland, with the ‘eye’ representing Brisbane.  Perhaps those of us in the regions might find more honest symbolise if we replace the word ‘eye’ with another part of the anatomy, lower down and around the back.  because this farrago is going to plop on us big time for a decade or more.

But For Some, This Was A Rorschach Ink Blot Test

Looking into the File of Unintended Consequences, Crisafulli and co might have a fit of the conniptions when they see this obvious mischief.

If you’ve ever heard a red crested cockatoo, you’ll instantly realise the connection. Could this be symbolising our Prime Minister heading for the opening ceremony in six years time? Shoot me now.

New Blood For Townsville Enterprise, But Will It Just Be An Anaemic Transfusion?

Although only two board members are leaving (Kevin Gill and Kathy Danaher), TEL has boosted its board numbers by four, adding two more to guide their very own good ship Marie Celeste on its mysterious voyage.  The new faces are:

In their regular occupations, every one of these people has to meet certain Key Performance Indicators (KPIs), either in private contracts or management agreements, – the terms of which are none of our business;  those funded by the government which usually have publicly announced targets  (e.g Townsville Port), and, if investors are involved, publicly mandated, sometime on the ASX and/or in quarterly or annual reports.  Does anyone imagine that a businessman as astute as Chris Morris would not give Tim Richardson targets covering all Casino and hotel operations?  Tim Ackroyd most certainly would be in the KPI business at Dugald River MMG.  And Brigadier McCammon is in a business that runs, top to bottom on KPIs, and wields the power of enforcement in a number of ways, up to and including a stockade.

So will all these upstanding noteworthies recognise that TEL falls into either the public interest category or the investor category, since the Townsville ratepayers (and those of other participating councils) are, willingly of otherwise,  investors? Or anyway have a legitimate public interest in reasonable KPIs?   Taxpayers likewise. And set some benchmark targets for the public to measure TEL’s effectiveness? Or will they go along with the prevailing and insultingly false claim that TEL is simply fuelled by memberships fees and therefore it is a private organisation that is not answerable to any but their members?  Members themselves who apparently don’t get the benefit of any provable performance targets.

Money raised though TEL membership is a drop in the ocean of TEL income support, the greatest bulk being  rate and taxpayer funds through councils ‘partners’,  and state and federal programs and grants.  A glittering waterfall that pours into the coffers of this seemingly ineffectual and underperforming entity .

And all that before we even broach the ethics and conflict of interest arising from the mayor and a key councillor being board members, but who can influence councillors to vote to award approx. $750,000 of ratepayer funds annually to an organisation on whose board they sit.

The ‘Pie cannot realistically entertain any hope of this simple and ethically required change,   it’s plain to see that this galloping juggernaut of a rort has got away from the community, aided and abetted by the very entity supposed to monitor and call out this dishonesty, the Townsville Bulletin.

The Bulletin Is Moving Into Top Gear With Its Business Coverage.

Seriously?

As They Say ‘The Truth Is Out There’  But This Ain’t It.

Unfortunately, sometimes, mocking the afflicted is unavoidable.

They’ll be flocking to the stores in their tens … eleven if his mum has to buy her own copy.

And the medals, the medals ….

But there will be two other people who will be a tad miffed at this release.  Both are published authors,  one with the same name, the other using the name as a character.

The first of these looks like it could be in competition with our conman ex-mayor. A review on-line might fool you into thinking it’s written by our boy. It isn’t, but could’ve been.

“The Nostalgia of Trauma is a raw, darkly funny, and deeply moving memoir about the legacy of mental illness, neurodivergence, the weight of family obligation, and the unexpected healing power of friendship.”

The second book isn’t actually by Troy Thompson but by author of several books, Gary Crew,  who spookily features a Troy Thompson character  as its narrator.

The blurb for this book is even more confusing and could easily be mistaken for some autobiographical notes by Townsville’s most unloved son.

Troy Thompson’s Excellent Peotry (sic) Book follows Troy Thompson, a Year 6 Student in Ms. Kranke’s English class in Dagaburra, Australia.  Step into the head of a twelve-year-old Australian boy as he has his first experience with poetry. It’s a rocky but endlessly interesting journey., (It’s) moving, silly (and sometimes just a little gross). 

Not to mention out of touch with truth and reality.

Speaking Of Truth And Reality …. And Utter Bullshit 

Seriously, Mayor?

How’s this for meaningless claptrap …

This piece of prize ‘baffle ‘em with bullshit’ was plopped out by the council’s media cow a couple of weeks ago, and the ‘Pie has been trying to parse it ever since. Have a go yourself, this is the full thing.  It amounts to trying to sell a car with no engine as a going concern … Lansdown without water is a non-starter. For anything.

That main point in the release  is the nonsensical elevation of a stock standard document which is no more than a missionary position LG pro forma requirement.  Including that standard paper shuffling as ‘gaining. momentum’ is as believable as Mayor Meathead’s statement further on when he describes building a few roads in grandiose terms: ‘Milestones already delivered include the Jones Road upgrade and the opening of sealed public access to DriveIt NQ in May, while internal road works are expected to be complete in November. Further water and transport upgrades are progressing through tender evaluation and planning.’

Interestingly vague and evasive, we get a glancing mention of ‘water upgrades’ which are still tied up in red tape and economic uncertainty. This  means the whole benighted site still does not have the branch junction pipe and pumping facility from the Haughton Pipeline needed to make the site viable, let alone somehow attractive to investors. Yet interest is sky rocketing from possible tenants?  Psst, want to buy a tin of tartan paint, cheap?

And the Haughton pipeline itself isn’t at any meaningful  operational level at last report, with its own pump station problems. And since Cameron Dick’s ego trip  stiffed the Townsville ratepayer of $79m to be spent on the Haughton pipeline, where the fuck is that $303 million for Lansdown itself over the next seven years coming from?  Assume the position and brace yourselves, folks.

Then note the only interest expressed in becoming a tenant – a Quinbrook company creating the usual mythical number of jobs, 1200.the mayor says.   Given that Sun Metals massive operation employs at tops 450,  then the bulk of those Quinbrook jobs are in short term construction, and even then, the best the council has is a non-binding, ordinary MOU.  And no mention of the crucial co-development of the renewable energy projects including the Lansdown Solar West project (up to 150 MW AC solar) and the Supernode North battery energy storage system (780 MW / 2,200 MWh capacity).

Then there’s this bit: ““We’ve created the conditions for industry to succeed through strategic planning, investment in enabling infrastructure and strong advocacy with all levels of government.’ The burning question there is, if you want us to believe that, tell us who is doing the advocating. If it’s TEL,  that explains the situation in a nutshell. We’re fucked.

This sort of opaque albeit rational-sounding gobbledegook is a case study in lack of governance transparency. If the ratepayers are stumping up a good part of that $303million for this development, with Solarquartz and its supporting energy sources operation in three years time,  they deserve more than this bare faced lie “The move further strengthens Lansdown’s position as one of Australia’s most significant emerging advanced manufacturing and processing hubs.”

Present tense? It’s position as what?  Manufacturing hub for unicorns?

This whole schmozzle of both action and communications shows again why the TCC should not never take on the role of developer.  The downside is there for all see in the dusty distance of Woodstock.

It’s Not Just The Bulletin (Ot The Magpie, For That Matter) Missing Something

With the proliferation of social media and modern technology, we are all prey to the sin of omission. That is, typos. especially that missing letter. We’ve all done it, and will again, but we are now in exalted company … the White House.

Someone over the has had their arse kicked until their nose bled (or more likely led away by ICE goons, never to be heard of again).

But the error had a certain amount of karma involved in an embarrassing boo-boo, because it went unnoticed by the tech moguls as well as the stable genius himself. The occasion was the (look, no laughing, right) signing of an agreement by the tech bros to …  snicker, snurffle  … voluntarily police …. oh, stoppit … themselves when it came to  … oh, spare me … the development of AI. (Uncontrollable guffawing.)

And AI  is now to be called SI, as in Super Intelligence,  by decree of Trump. And you don’t question the President of the  … the …  well,  we’re not sure when he put his lie detector graph  of a signature above his title.

Reading down that list of names put the ‘Pie in mind of this.

Interesting to note that ‘united’ is an anagram of ‘untied’.

But anyway …

Bugger, Bugger, Bugger

That was the ‘Pie’s reaction to the news this weekend that Marina Hyde has written her last column for the Guardian. She is upping stumps after 25 years of hilarious acid wit and insight into all arenas of the human condition – not many are aware she is also a well regarded and award winning writer on sport. Her final column had many moments of recognition for The Magpie (not that he in any way puts himself anywhere near the Hyde pantheon).

Anyway, not that she’ll see ithis  but Marina, thanks for  hilarious enlightenment you conjured up so regularly.  And The ‘Pie wants you to know that he always credited you if he used any of your brilliant lines.  Well, nearly always.

You’re on Google alert for whenever you pop up again.

And A Final Note, It’s Always Good To Leave You Laughing

Cliches are true (because they’ve stood the test of time heh heh) and a ‘Pie favourite is ‘brevity is the soul of wit’.  The only thing better than a snappy one liner retort is the one or two word retort.  And he has come across one that has had him helplessly laughing from time to time as he recalls it.

It  came at the very end of this clip of the clever BBC show ‘I’m Sorry, I Haven’t A Clue’, in which a panel is asked to give alternative definitions of words or phrases. In this episode, all the answers are funny as only the Poms know how, but the final one is for the ages … and guaranteed to make you have a giggle every time you recall it.

……………….

‘Til next week. Don’t forget comments, they run 24/7 throughout the week. The donation link is below, if you’re of a mind.

And what is not said is the problem with a major story in the Weekend Astonisher ….as they say, if you’re going to deal in bullshit, you’d better have a good memory.  The paper doesn’t.

Is our mayor making a single-handed bid for the pink tourism dollar, tempting the gay traveller to head for Townsville ?  Is he contemplating a – cough cough  – lifestyle change, where the nickname Slick Nick will take on more disturbing connotations? True or not, it sure bloody looks like it.  

And a recent Trump Administration decision to drop a multi-billion bribery charge against a foreign businessman got us wondering about some recent local history in our own little corner of the world.

And on the international scene, some delightful Danish musical mischief in the background of the US-Denmark Greenland Treaty signing.

With quarterly bills thudding into the Nest’s in-box over the past week or so,  a bit of financial support would be greatly appreciated. You can back your weekly read with a donation by bashing the link at the end of the blog. It really would be appreciated. 

Meet The Editor of The Townsville Bulletin – Her Name Nanki Poolson ,And She’s Got A Little List

Astonisher Iditor Naki Poolson aka Jill Poulson

And it’s a safe bet her favourite cultural character is Nanki Poo, from the 1885 G&S operetta The Mikado. Nanki Poo, you’ll remember, is famous for his musical elimination song “I’ve Got A Little List’ of people ‘who none of them will be missed’.  Only Nanki Poolson has turned the idea around to be a list where no one and nothing misses out …  except readers who are interested in actual news. Instead, they get pelted with faux ‘lists’ of Townsville “best” of everything imaginable: best beautician, best plumber, best dog walker,  best real estate agent (a low bar, that one) until they move on to things instead of people, best burger, best tattoo shop, best carpet layers bum crack, best supermarket aisle for bend-over glimpses. the list of lists in literally endless.

But the grand final in the battle of the lists in the paper’s annual laugh-in, Townsville’s 50 Most Influential People,  a yearly click-bait rage-farming bit of  tomfoolery that even Poolson admits – in a roundabout way – is a rubbishy attempt at what they laughingly term ‘readership engagement’.  She says so in her windy explanation for this lazy excuse for journalism.

That is so patronisingly empty-headed that The ‘Pie feels silly bothering to discuss it, but Poolson takes herself so seriously as some laughable sort of kingmaker, one has to point out a thing or two.

First, debate what? What you have just said, madam, is you want readers to discuss a made-up hierarchy in terms of positions on an arbitrary list of names you have supplied, for the sole purpose of discussing the choice of positions on your ‘ladder’. Are you nuts, lady? C’mon, Jill, you’re not a serious person are you? An insulting one, but not a serious one.  Passion? Deep care for the regions future? Dare one suggest those that really have such passion and care demonstrate it by not reading this nonsense publication. Which they are not doing in increasing numbers.

Then there’s this opening salvo of silliness you offer.

Oh, purleeese!

And what the fuck is an ‘expert nomination’? Do you ever actually think about what you write?

But anyway … a ‘judging panel’?  Geezuz, Jill, as the od saying has it, get off the table, Mabel, the money’s for the beer.’ A bloody judging panel?  Compromised of whom?  This load of horsefeathers brings to mind the classic question “Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Who watches the watchers?” Don’t you reckon if you’re making judgements like these, it is only fair that readers know who actually made the choices, that no one was compromised in their decisions? Bet you won’t reveal any names so we could decide for ourselves,  so The ‘Pie will enlighten  … the judging panel is you, and your immediate boss and editorial adviser, general manager and advertising boss Suzanne (Suzy) Wilson. No compromise or possible conflict of interest there, eh?

Plus possibly some of your girlie cocktail-hour mates. (‘Phrow, whack him in somewhere, he’s a hottie.’)

If this was anything approaching a serious and honest list of  influential people  ‘shaping Townsville’ – (oh, bloody spare me) – there are some notable omissions – Crisafulli,  Alabanese and whoever makes the defence Department decisions. But the self-owning omission, Jill,  the one you dare not mention is …you, yourself,  the editor of an organisation that styles itself unashamedly as ‘setting the news agenda for the city’.   Many years ago,  when one previous editor asked The ‘Pie who should be at the top of the list,  he  replied that if the idea was to be taken seriously, then he himself, the editor,  should be up there .  His answer: ‘In a perfect world, Malcolm, yes.  But no.’  Said it all.

The pompous-assery of this annual fellating and tonguing of locals who have or hopefully will tip some  advertising dollars into the paper’s insatiable maw is but one more proof of the paper’s declaration of surrender to social media and mendacity. 

But Your Nonsense Isn’t Restricted To Lists 

This isn’t funny, it’s just simply insulting.

So two regional towns  in a relatively remote part of the country ‘battle’ to decide a major Defence Department decision with long-ranging political implications? And Canberra waits while the two  dook it out for the glittering prize?  And the Federal Government stays neutral? What fucking planet are people from?  Forget neutral, whoever wrote that ought to neutered.

Slick Nick’s YMCA Moment: Oh, Mate, That Is Just So Gay

Here’s another for the Mayor Meathead: What Was He Thinking file.

Fooling around on stage with an acrobat to publicise  the upcoming (snicker) Festival of  (suppressed guffaw) The Arts is an OK thing, one guesses,  but ripping off your shirt and making it a YMCA moment is something again, it is so, so … well, it’s just so gay.

It’s reported in the Astonisher’s snapper tried to take pix of this mesmerising spectacle,  a mayoral minder, apparently themselves startled at this off-script development,  blocked pictures being taken. That may be just a bit of bullshit by the Astonisher ( yes, it does happen, apparently) , because somehow a whole video was up on Instagram of the entire  nipple and tuck episode. Should one now expect our shirtless mayor to don a glitter cloak and enter the next council meetings to the sounds of YMCA, before the music segues into Old Time Rock And Roll, prompting all councillors to clap along as Nick does a Tom Cruise slide along the table, before calling for the regular prayer to start proceedings?  The ‘Pie for one would not be in the least bit surprised.

From crooked to kooky, we’re running the whole gamut of mayoral diversity here in Townsville. We should be so proud.

But We Count Our Blessings

And nice to know a few years back this very same hick town hootenanny only tempted Mayor Mullet to fully clothed arm waving, although she did show her dick in the background.

Speaking Of Gay …

The Nest is always a sucker for a good headline, so this one from the Australian’s running coverage of the Alan Jones trial tickled the fancy …

 And Staying With Arsesoles For The Moment

Reported in the Guardian,  bribery charges are dropped in the US against guess who?

This news prompted The ‘Pie to hark back to Got’Em Adani palship with then premier Anna Palaszczuk …

… and the weird decision, supposedly by the premier’s bestie, then Mayor Jenny Hill, to use Townsville ratepayers money to build and gift to Adani an airport near his Carmichael mine 400kms away.  This was supposedly to cater to the hundreds, nay thousands, of FIFO workers who would choose to live in Townsville rather than the closer Mackay, Bowen or Airlie.  In a rare moment of defiance, the idea was promptly knocked on the head by council, but still … Anna and Jenny enjoyed an all expenses paid jaunt to India courtesy of this unappetising curry muncher, and who knows what was in the complimentary ‘show bags’ awaiting them in their luxury hotel rooms. We now know he’s got form.

Just sayin’,  y’know.

The Bulletin’s Puzzle Pages … More Than Just Crosswords And Sudoku

The ‘puzzle’ description applies to many of the ‘news’ pages as well.  A little mystery turned up in this weekend story by Colliers MD Peter Wheeler, transcribed by Leighton Smith.

Mr Wheeler was rightly chuffed about the improved realty scene, especially with the office and medical sector returning 110% increase in sales value to the tune of $71.9m. And other sectors, including hospitality and accomodation ‘posting a significant increase in activity’ with sales up from $17m last year to $48.5m for the last FY.  A pleasing, if somewhat cherry-picked, rosy outlook, with the local market diversifying rather than declining.

But then we come to the that break-out box.

Now, The ‘Pie knows, because Leighton has so vociferously told the old bird more than once, that he is a reporter and not a stenographer,  so he has obviously researched and written the above summary himself  which is seperate to the story.

So here’s the mystery …. given the varying value of the listed projects,  some less than half a billion dollars, why doesn’t one worth $550 not get a mention?  To be exact, this one.

Leighton and others have hailed the vision of developer Shaun McCarthy ,  who has promised a first of two stages waterpark, and a 15 storey, 200room hotel employing hundreds. Mr McCarthy told the paper a year ago that the necessary civil works, raising the entire site by three metres to flood proof it, would start last March.  How could such an economic turbo booster not be mentioned in projects that are in the pipeline (an unfortunate phrase, but there we are.)

Oh, wait sec … Shaun McCarthy? Ah, yes, knew the name was familiar.

This is the bloke who is going to borrow an unspecified number of millions to build a 10-storey luxury apartment building on The Strand. We are very unreliably told that several of the multi-million dollar pads have been sold off the plans (as fucking if!!), money and contracts will be all lined up soon – ‘a matter of weeks’  – and that Mr McCarthy has apparently managed to find the requisite work force – although tradies are are rare as rocking horse shit these days thanks to the Olympics – to start work before Christmas.  All this while  seeking the $550m for his Cluden project.  On land, as far as The ‘Pie can ascertain, he is yet to secure from the Townsville Turf Club.

Wow, what a guy, no wonder the Bulletin’s judging panel had a wide-on for him and awarded Mr McCarthy slot 41  on their ‘Most Influential list – although they couldn’t be bothered with a new pic,  just the one from the so far vacant waterpark site..

Indeed, the values the panel put on Mr McCarthy’s  … well, apparently ‘potential’, more than ‘achievements’ just yet … placed him five places ahead in the most influential stakes of the Chamber of Commerce CEO Emma Peters, despite the impressive Ms Peters having put her runs on the board already.

But dammit, The Magpie again missed out on the list, so maybe this is all sour grapes.  That view was echoed in this exchange during the week in comments.

A Danish Dig Was A Danish Delight

Probably too subtle for the Americans,  but when Secretary of State Marco Rubio entered the room for the Greenland Treaty signing in Denmark, the background music played  ‘Send In The Clowns’ from Stephen Sondheim’s show ‘A Little Night Music’.   The Danes swear it was nothing to do with them,  they had nothing to do with the playlist for background music (although they neither apologised or said to whom they outsourced the musical duties.) No matter, very funny.

Which is more than can be said for the other clowning around of the week, particularly Trump’s illegal banning of selected media organisations from the White House. Which is turning out to be a bit of an own goal, since all other media outfits are now boycotting Trump events in protest.  A judge has ordered  that the bans be rescinded , but at the time of writing, the Orange Abomination is yet to comply.

And Finally,  Maybe Our Fitness Fanatic Townsville Mayor Would Like One Of These ….

(make sure to read the final line.)

…………

‘Til next week. And hey,  a donation would be kinda handy about now,  if you can help out, the required link is below.

Division One Election:  at the halfway mark of the count, Michelle Hobson has a handy lead with 3,096 votes (37.3%), with the only possible challenge coming  Michael Pugh, with 2,659 (32.03%). At Nest publishing time, and at the close of counting last night, just under 50% of the 17,000 eligible votes had been counted.  Click here  for how  it stands before counting resumes .

More ratepayer money for Townsville Enterprise? Reports of recent council redundancies  make it a possibility. In fact, a likelihood.

WTF Labor?  Panicked by One Notion forcing the immigration issue,  you inexplicably come up with the most damaging, Alice In Wonderland  economic scenario imaginable.  But the real question about this idiocy is; who spooked you?  Which lobbyist got your shrivelled walnuts in the Christmas hold?

A unexpected honour for Phil Thompson but … shhhh, it’s a surprise.

And it wouldn’t be your weekly Nest with some bullshit from the Bulletin.

America’s FBI chief announces a new meaning of doing it doggy style … indulging in bestiality is now no bar to being given a gun and a G-man badge. Presumably in case you get into a dog fight.

If you enjoy this alternative voice for Townsville and other matters,  you can support it with a donation … it’s always voluntary, the Nest will always be free, but a helping hand with the inevitable costs of an enterprise like this would be greatly appreciated. The link is at the end of the blog.

Mayor Meathead, Man Or Mouse?  The Betting Is That Slick Nick Likes Cheese.

What was needed, and what an irate community deserved was simple plain language admission that the council ignored obvious warning signs and no real efforts were made to avoid the catastrophic Great Northern fire .

But what did we get? Just a word salad with lots of cheese, before a soft cock admission that maybe the TCC should be more awake at the wheel in the future.  At the risk of using a Bulletinesque headline pun, reporter Leighton Smith was really fired up, and turned in a good summation of the situation in Thursday’s paper.

Leighton, so often the Nest’s Aunt Sally for real and perceived shortcomings,  this time showed some welcome independence,  especially with the inclusion in the story of this refreshingly ‘on point’ sentence – something rarely seen in this compromised newspaper.

“Key stakeholders asked about the incident have either dodged questions or sought to distance themselves from responsibility.”

Smith tells us  says he got a ‘no comment’ from the owner Adrian Gabrielli who then abruptly hung up. (The more you get hung up on Leighton, the more you know your doing the right job.)

 

Townsville Mayor Nick Dametto

But the mayor didn’t have the option of playing ‘no speaks’ and unwisely decided to try and bluff it out,  as Smith reported.

The mayor confirmed that the council had received (an undisclosed number of) complaints regarding the property over the years, and acted when it could (but) explained how the council was limited in its powers regarding the privately-owned and state heritage-listed building.

“This includes in relation to a deteriorated timber cellar door in the public footpath – a hazard to the public,” Mr (sic) Dametto said.

 “Council installed bollards as an interim safety measure, issued a compliance notice and failing that, a fine in August 2026, given the structure had not been repaired, replaced, secured or removed. But vacancy, deterioration or a lack of maintenance, on their own, did not provide the council with the justification to compel major works or demolition. Council’s powers over private property are directed at identifiable safety, health, amenity or compliance issues, and each carries a specific statutory test that must be satisfied on the evidence available at the time,” he said.

“Where (anti-social) activity occurs on privately owned land, council’s powers of enforcement are limited and responsibility rests with other agencies.

So what?  Of course it does, you meathead.  What we really now need to know, did you as the person entrusted with our well being and that of the city, press hard those ‘other agencies’ to act in our interest.  And what were the conditions demanded on the Compliance Notice?

And an apology? not sure this bit of desiccated management speak reaches that standard..

“I agree there is more work to do in this space and I look forward to ensuring all agencies are working together to make the city safer and more enjoyable for everyone.”

See, still a hint that ‘other agencies’ were responsible.

In other words, using the standard buzz word translation app,  your council was asleep at the wheel and you fucked up.  But  you haven’t got the backbone or good advice to say so openly.

Christ, Nick, how many pimples do you need on your appendage before you go to the pox doctor?  You’re paid the big bucks … and so is Joe … to be ahead of the game, not scrambling, as Leighton said, to distance yourself from responsibility.

Until things change in Walker Street , the suggested slogan for the TCC remains true.

So, Jere’s A Question You Might Be Able To Give A Straight Answer

The ‘Pie jests of course, and perhaps you’d like to flick-pass this one to Joe McCabe. Or maybe Brisbane.

It’s pretty simple really: the Nest’s well connected info network reports that the council’s City growth team has been canned and its budget will now be added to the Townsville Enterprise annual rort on ratepayers.  But that in itself involves another question …. will the $700,000 salaries of the four now-redundant City Growth staff also go to the Dudley Do Nothings?  The ratepayers would most certainly like a clue as to WTF you and your boss, The Kid, are up to.

But it seems the fix is in, as they say on TV shows … the Bulletin is in lock-step with the council and TEL, and no pesky questions will likely be forthcoming. TEL’s place in the Bulletin’s universe was clearly evidenced in the weekend Astonisher.

TEL’s director of visitor economy Lisa Woolfe was at the top of the story giving her opinion, basically stating stock standard and pretty universal objections to the cuts to backpacker numbers. Ms Woolfe wasn’t wrong, but said nothing new, just the widely reported position of regional commerce. However, the paper decided to give her first call prominence over three other far better qualified and more relevant interviewees .  Especially Chamber of Commerce CEO  Emma Peters, the voice of Townsville’s real business organisation who spelt out specific effects on the city’s businesses and shoppers.  while big backpacker employer,  Ville and Ardo CEO Tim Richardson, described the serious effect likely on one of the city’s mainstay businesses.

Nothing specifically or personally against Ms Woolfe, but it demonstrates how the Bulleton is now laughably attempting to play kingmaker, determined to embed TEL firmly in the financial infrastructure of ratepayer funding. And that’s a major concern when it involves an organisation so sorely in need of closer scrutiny and oversight.

But let’s have a look at Labor’s weird immigration ‘let’s shoot ourselves in the foot’ immigration policy announced during the week.

Killing The Horse For Food Instead Of Riding It To Town For Supplies

Home Affairs Minister Tony Burke … he’s a frightened little fucker, but who scared him?

It is simply inexplicable how Labor’s Tony Burke (use any spelling you like)  came up with this economic  self-destruction plan to limit backpacker visas.  What possible reasoning can justify attacking a sector not only vital to a wide variety of Australian core businesses, but one that pays tax and primarily spends the money in the local economy.

The overwhelming majority of backpackers are young people – gap yearers, many of them – whose visa terms had ensured they saw more of Australia than just another increasingly anonymous world city. They were obliged to get out in the regions to what many regard as the real Australia. These people get jobs no locals want or for which we don’t have sufficient numbers to fill – agricultural, tourism, hospitality, health care – they pay tax and they spent the bulk of their money here in the Australian economy one way or another.  They could be legally here for three years, and even if there were overstayers, by and large that does not harm the economy or society. When detected,  they leave, voluntarily or otherwise.  It was rolling system which this government and perhaps preceding ones, were lax in enforcing the three year rule, perhaps realising it was the least harmful, perhaps even beneficial, cohort in the temporary visa/illegal immigrant sector.

But now,  a Labor Government utterly and totally panicked by the immigration debate forced upon them by One Nation, have come up with this scatterbrained, regressive idea that this is an area that urgently needs reform.  What the actual fuck.!!!

At the last minute, and, ominously, without explanation, Burke put off an announcement of  the scheduled immigration policy overhaul for a month, which begs the question: which fucking lobby group managed to get him and Albanese by their dried apricots and forced this risible policy on them, instead of something else that was obviously in the original document? What group gets the benefit of these crazily rejigged numbers?  We’re not likely to know any time soon.

Add to this dog’s dinner of a policy from a government too spineless to ban gambling advertising, Burke now insists that in future, visa holders who want an extension will have to involuntarily gamble in a government lottery system for a chance to stay.

And these dunderheads wonder why Hanson’s spiteful and mostly unworkable, economy demolishing populist policies have gained so much traction.  How long before you realise the truth of the political axiom, challengers don’t win seats, incumbents lose them?

But Maybe All That Might Be Another Back Flip Is In The Offing 

After all, Labor has discovered the joys of hitting reverse gear,  and taking one up the kyber for their stupidity. Like this, from a bloke who is going to be the member for Herbert for a long while yet. And rightly so, the right man in the right place at the right time.

Along with the justifiably passionate Jacqui Lambie and others, Phil is entitled to stick it right up this faltering government, floundering as they so sadly always do in choppy financial waters.

Seems the ABC tv newsroom decide Phil needed a special reward, and on the day the back flip was announced, kicked him upstairs.

Wonder if Angus Taylor knows?

Mr Robodebt Is Appalled.

Right, and Alan Jones is disgusted by Mardi Gras.

This Bloody Paper, Fair Dinkum

For a moment, the ‘Pie thought the Bulletin had a moment of self-realisation and self-recrimination.

But no, everything’s a fucking joke to these dimwits. Never mind a bloke has been savagely mauled by a couple dogs, has ongoing physical and psychological problems,  he’s had to change jobs because of the mauling, let’s make a joke of it with a nonsensical word association headline.

But then, sometimes,  a moment of cleverness pop up, usually on stories put together elsewhere. Like this one, about Katter’s brain fart to create a baby bonus of $75000 to stem what he sees as a fertility crisis. Unsurprisingly, the idea was quickly dismissed in Canberra, so Bonking For Bob’s Bucks Bombs would be the usual fare, but instead, this subtle effort.

Pretty good.

And the Magpie’s occasional Thank You For Sharing Award this week goes to this story,  which seems little too fact-inclusive to be true.

This is supposed to have happened in Newcastle,  NSW,  but we were treated to it in the ‘ville because of the Astonisher’s addiction to weird, often too frank, off-beat medical stories.  But in more ways than one, something’s on the nose with this yarn.

The FBI Go All Beastie Boys

In 2019, the prophetic Kevin ‘Bloody’ Wilson gave us ‘What’s Donald Gonna Do Today?’  (click to sing along) but Kevin didn’t know the half of how things would progress. Trying to keep up with the ‘new normal’ of Trump’s insane America requires a certain type of derangement, where bemusement seems to have replaced disbelief as each new dawn reveals yet another ring to the American political circus.

This week gave us the news of a rule change for candidates wishing to become FBI agents … bestiality is now no bar to joining the ranks of the legendary G-men. So even if you’ve been forced to have a romp with Rover or coerced into bonking your Boxer, no matter, your still in with a chance, providing you were forced and didn’t voluntarily mount the horse, so as to speak..

FBI Director Kash Patel at the moment he learnt his terrier was two-timing him.

This  – as said, bemusing – bit of administrative minutiae came out when Trump’s newly appointed FBI director Kash Patel was being grilled in a Senate hearing.

This is presupposing that giving a badge and gun to people who have been traumatised after being forced into acts of bestiality is a good idea to maintain discipline, integrity and emotional stability in the ranks.

Whether this was deliberate distraction ordered by Trump to deflect from other issues he’s fucked up, this animal crackers hoo-ha was instant social media fodder (I know, unbelievable eh?). One troller saw a pattern in this, given the JD Vance (false) rumour of having sex with a couch, and Donald’s Trump’s Epstein flights of fancy.

And A Final One, So You Can Sleep Peacefully …

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Another foaming rant next week, but comments run 24/7. The donate link is below.

EXCLUSIVE: Correspondence leaked to The Magpie reveals local mystery man who is seeking nomination as One Nation Candidate for Herbert.

A trip down the road less travelled: Adam Baillie takes us for a video drive along the length of the new Radical Bay Road, but his latest update on the project raises a question or two.

Plus a few random observation on various matters, and the weekly weirdness of our American cartoon gallery … satire is just getting harder and harder.

The blog plugs along, and so do the costs associated with producing it.  Any help with a donation to maintain its upkeep (hopefully a spruced-up look coming soon) will be as appreciated as it is needed. The link to donate is at the end of the blog.

The Eyes Have It … But Should They?

Complex problems rarely require simple solutions – unless you go down Stalin’s path of handling opponents (‘man is the problem. No man, no problem.) And so it appears there is no simple answer to the multiple problems and few benefits posed by these new smart glasses … instantly dubbed perv glasses. 

But to the Magpie’s mind,  this is one of those rare occasions when the answer to this dilemma really is simple.  Banning or restricting anything involving individual free will  in a democracy is often unpalatable and anyway just as often, doesn’t work (tobacco war, anyone? Klunky cowardly partial ban on gambling advertising? Or perhaps the hilarious egg-on-face of the boomer laws of social media age restrictions?)

So now we face the latest challenge to privacy and safety, in the sudden proliferation of the so-called perv glasses   This creepy and dangerous innovation – dubbed ‘smart glasses’ but more accurately ‘smart arse glasses’ – is the inevitable evolution of the mildly disconcerting rise of the phone camera/audio recorder. Similar concerns for this advance  led to the law against up-skirting. (That we actually needed such a law is a sad commentary in itself about decency and restraint in our times.) With this new advance of insidious  privacy invasion, the number of times  these specs get ‘accidentally dropped’ on escalators will become a cliche.

And this is no clutching at pearls in alarm at a passing fad, the distaste and danger is widespread.  And real.

Jonathan Liew in the Guardian clearly posed a key, and unsettling question:

The thing few have considered is who – with the exception of the partially sighted, hard of hearing and those otherwise in need of assistive technology – asked for any of this? If smart glasses are the answer, what was the question? Perhaps, as with AI chatbots and fridges with web browsers, there was none: just the lavishly funded persistence of a tech sector intent on manufacturing consent for the things it has decided we must have.

In so doing, it may succeed in turning the high street into an unwitting hub of surveillance. A society fearful of itself, paranoid and mistrustful. A public sphere exposed and disassembled and reduced to its constituent pixels. Where there is no longer a right to be anonymous, to be inattentive, to be forgotten or left alone by our fellow citizens. Where something as simple and innocent as a human gaze has been reimagined as an item of transaction.

So how could such an ubiquitous item be policed to protect the individual privacy?  The answer is right in front of us – literally - remove the user’s own right to secrecy. To this end, the practical part is  a simple law that does not ban smart glasses, but mandates allowable designs or requires identification of all such  frames sold in Australia. 

The ‘Pie doesn’t wish to make  a joke out of this deadly serious suggestion, but by way of illustrations, let’s say these frames were mandated by law for smart glasses.

An exaggeration perhaps, but demonstrates the obvious principle – a design widely publicised to give immediate knowledge for people going about their business in public that they may be being recorded by a stranger.  In a more serious vein for suitable design, there could be a designated fluro frame, say purple –  or even candy stripe designs, which might have the added deterrence of pantomime parody. Failing this, one thing that could be implemented is a requirement that such glasses be clearly and prominently labelled, perhaps across the top of the front frame  saying “Recording Device’.

But you ask, how would this stop the current surreptitious models being ordered over the web, bypassing such new laws. Easy.  Include an amendment to the law so that anyone wearing such outlawed devices can be stopped, searched, and recorded material examined, under the powers of both anti-terrorism and stalking laws. 

Think about it. But in the meantime, best to regard anyone with heavy black frames as suspect of dishonest unwholesome motives. Yes, anyone.

And On A Seperate Matter … No, Really, Seriously,  Completely Seperate

The Magpie’s Deep Throat inside the One Notion Party has slipped the old bird proof of the widespread interest from ordinary, everyday folks who want to part of Cyclone Pauline following confirmation of her Queensland plans.

Dear Ms Hanson,

I was overjoyed to learn you were running candidates in all Townsville seats and I would like to be a candidate for One Nation. 

You don’t know me but my name is Trolius Barry Birinbauer, and I have extensive experience as a company director both here and overseas. I believe I can add value to your Townsville campaign.

As this is a garrison city, I am much admired and respected in defence circles, due to my SAS experience. I was in a clandestine group which was so ‘off the books’ we are not even allowed to be awarded medals for display or be photographed in uniform. So suffice to say, I am used to taking the heat,  stirring things up when they come to the boil or when a good grilling is needed.  Hot water situations were part and parcel of my service.

My qualifications in finance should put the party in good stead,  using the expertise of my degrees from the Sorbonne, Oxford, Harvard, and Rabieh Kraymen’s School of Business Ethics. The Harvard degree was done in between my astronaut training sessions in Houston. Of course, when I’m elected, I will advise NASA that I’m unavailable to take my place on the Uranus mission. I know declining this distant mission will disappoint many locally,  a great number have already expressed strong support and eagerness for my off-planet mission.

I have never ever ever no never been involved in politics but believe it is time to put my real world experience to good use. I would love to meet up with you to discuss the possibilities.  Hope you will understand my appearance when we meet, I have a very bushy beard and drooping moustache demanded of my religious beliefs, and must constantly wear a beanie and dark glasses as part of my cancer management program.  

I understand you had an unpleasant disendorsement incident with a previous Townsville candidate, so I will ensure I bring all relevant documentary proof of my CV, if the ink has dried sufficiently 

Yours  (Really And) Truly,

Trolius Barry  Birinbauer 

PS Perhaps my current company, which imports crystal-drive watches with arthritic healing powers, could arrange a special shipment for giveaways during my campaign … although their RRP is $270 I’m sure we could arrange a bulk buy of say 3000 at cost ($6.99 +GST)

Radical Questions

During the week, MP Adam Baillie took us for a spin along the new Radical Bay Road, which is now complete to within a Charlie McColl dummy spit of the beach.  Although The ‘Pie had been down the old road several times over the years, truthfully, he was surprised to remember how long it is, almost four kilometres. The trip will be a double delight for visitors, traveller and local alike,  moving through the beautiful chaos of the Australia’s tropical bird-drop bush to suddenly burst out onto the verger of one of Magnetic Island’s many magical beaches.

Shortly after doing the drive-along video, Baillie released this short update on matters yet to be sorted.  And this list raised a question or two.

The first one is given the lengthy  pre-planning period and four month time frame of reconstruction, why weren’t all those questions, pedestrian safety, speed limits, illegal camping and, critically, car parking,  worked out ages ago … it’s not as though the route of the road was going to change?

But that leads us to the second more important question being posed by opponentsof the re-opening of Radical bay –  doubts have been raised whether there will be free, safe and unfettered public access to the beach?  There are persistent but unsupported  social media posts that the last 100m of the road are on land either owned or leased by the developer Juniper.  Thus, the alarmist claim is,  the only public access will be an unsafe mangrove area, which requires a (unplanned) boardwalk for safe access to the sand.  Solid evidence of this claim has not been forthcoming, either to The Nest or elsewhere on social media, but Mr Baillie and his staff have not been ignorant of this widely disseminated claim – That claim has been allowed to circulate unchallenged on social media for quite a while. And Mr Baillie is the member for everybody, zealots and single issue opponents included, not just those who voted for him. So The ‘Pie asked Mr Baillie’s office directly about the situation, and received in part this reply:

I am writing to you following your message on Facebook regarding a recent update to the status of Radical Bay Road.

As you are no doubt aware, there are always lots of rumours circulating regarding the Radical Bay Road project, and indeed any project on Magnetic Island.

I am very pleased to share that physical works on the road have been completed, and I am now actively engaging with various stakeholders to put measures in place to manage concerns that have been raised prior re-opening the gate at Arthur Bay.”

And an earlier media release thgree months ago included the statement:

“The restoration of functional road access to Radical Bay will open up parts of Magnetic Island that were otherwise not accessible to a large section of our community, such as the elderly, young families and those with physical limitations,” Mr Baillie said.
 

So while the exact nature of ‘public access’ is yet to be spelled out, and remains somewhat elastic, it is difficult to give credence to some sort of clandestine deal between the government and Junipers to provide a private entity solely with a almost four kms of road costing several million taxpayer dollars. And that the private entity could block public beach access across their land. Perhaps such speculation has been fuelled by Juniper’s consistent claim that the road is not a private developers financial responsibility, and Brisbane’s previous insistence  that the developer pony up for it has been the reason that no development has taken place.

So if Juniper’s suddenly re-emerge on the scene, the whole question of the nature of public access to the beach could become a major political issue.  But hey, Adam, easy fix, just be a little less vague and in direct plain English, tell us about public access arrangements. Surely your government didn’t built a multi-million dollar yellow brick road without this question being resolved beforehand.

Speaking Of Tricky Questions

The ‘Pie understandably has a Google alert on a few subjects, unsurprisingly  the Dudley Do-Nothings being on that list.  So The ‘Pie was somewhat discombobulated when this popped up in his feed.

What the hell was this image-damaging, negative story doing as a TEL media release, an organisation funded in part by the ratepayers, and charged with the positive promotion of the city.  And FFS, in the NT News rag in Darwin, although the original story is by a Townsville Bulletin journalist?

But the old bird paused before working himself into his usual weekly lather about TEL. He decided to check it out with the TEL site itself. But The ‘Pie could not find this media release on the generally comprehensive site, so he is guessing the fault … if TEL haven’t lost their minds completely … was a Google problem. Someone down at the Dudley’s might like to have a word with Google, The ‘Pie isn’t the only one that would have TEL on a notification alert, anyone vaguely interested in Townsville for business, migration and tourism,may well be seeing this as well.

But TEL weren’t the only ones to put out an inappropriate media release during the week. There was this from the TCC (and duly reported in the Astonisher).

Polite question: what the fuck has this grotesque wallow of recreational grief got to do with the council? Or more to the point, providing funding for this manufactured morbidity –  to provide a sausage sizzle and trees to take home to remember Dad with?  And, bloody spare me, have a council staff member read out your favourite poem for the occasion.? This is EXACTLY the sort of thing a responsible council should have nothing to do with as far as financial allocation goes. It is the type of favour-seeking by councillors – recently banished from the council grant process – that people are increasingly tired of.  B ut it seems there are some Hill hangovers that still persist.

The ‘Pie is saddened to see that Clr Robinson,  a man The Magpie has always regarded, and still does,  as a valuable and intelligent figure around the Walker Street table, should sponsor this nanny state, woke group hug on the ratepayers dollar.

The money itself is a piddling amount but the principle is nasty and cynical … using manufactured recreational grief, a sausage and a free tree (FFS!) as a cheap vote buying exercise.  While oversharing is a regrettable fashion of the current generation, some things like the fond memories of a loved father should remain in the privacy of family and friends, not with strangers.

Lot Of Noise Coming Out Of The Presidential Pram This Week

Trump’s renaming lakes insanity continues to provide a rich vein of derision, and it makes a nice change from having to draw complicated pictures of people in turbans.

Our gallery.

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That’s enough harumphing for one week. The donation link is below, all assistance gratefully received.

’til next week.

But a mightily miffed Astonisher iditor Jill Poulson huffily declares ‘We will never apologise for doing our job’.  Quite right Jill, best to save your apologies for the frequent times you’re NOT doing your job.  The ‘Pie points out a few of the week’s instances.

At the risk of repetition (heaven forfend!!) we have to revisit last week’s issue about changes to council rules for grants. One truly snide, simply impossible  requirement was highlighted in comments during the week.

Is the next state election shaping up as a Battle of the Sexes? Seems Stephen Miles waffling leadership is on the line, and seems there’s a gal gunning for him.

And heading our US gallery this week, a short scathingly funny video about why the wrong person died during the week.

Hey, big shout out of appreciation to those readers helped the Nest get over a considerable financial speed bump, greatly appreciated.  It would make this weekly read a little less stressful for The ‘Pie if we could build up a small bank against the regular costs associated with The Nest . They are costs which the old bird is never in a position to cope with alone. You might consider the ‘set and forget’ choice of a modest automatic weekly or monthly donation. Several readers have opted for this. But  however you choose, your ongoing support will be greatly appreciated.  The link is at the bottom of the blog.

Trump Lite: Mayor Meathead Goes The ‘Fake News’ Route

Slick Nick Dametto believes those who are in the public eye must answer to higher standards, and if such people fail to clear the bar, they should apologise … no, no, silly, not HIM, but those damn reporters.

Quick recap for those who’ve been on Mars for the past couple of months. Back in June, the mayor was on a sponsored pub crawl on Magnetic Island (there was a time when that alone would’ve been a story in itself) when he was involved in a ‘confrontation’ involving a member of state MP Adam Baille’s staff at Nomad’s … ( although present, Baille himself was uninvolved) By all reports it was loud and belligerent – ‘a scuffle’ one witness gasped –  and resulted in the mayor being escorted off the premises.  Witnesses complained enough that the rozzers were called in to investigate, the whole thing, which they did in their accustomed leisurely pace, until last Wednesday, they issued Dametto with an Infringement Notice for Public Nuisance, to wit disorderly behaviour in a licensed premises.  That’ll be $1036 fine, ta muchly.  No charges were laid and such a matter is not classed a criminal offence.

There was only one place that news was going to land.

The paper played it with a straight bat,  basically recording the fact of the fine and repeating some background.  They’d have enough time later to make the mayor squirm.  They thought.

But instead of some professional damage control – a stock standard “sorry ’bout that, not good enough will do better now let’s move on”  Slick Nick unwisely decided to deliberately walk into the swinging door, refusing to take any responsibility for the incident or the outcome. His response seen here was pugnacious and it was bullshit. Because while he made some telling points about the media inaccuracies of the whole saga,  it was only irrelevant and a piss-weak attempt at deflection … the bare fact is that it happened.  Certainly no acknowledgement that none of this would’ve happened if he’d kept his temper in the first place.  This goof doesn’t realise that a lot of the reporting he complained of – half rumours and sensationalised wording –  was done in an information vacuum he created himself by stonewalling – pretty close to actually lying –  to legitimate media inquiries about his side of the story.

The Streisand Effect was as swift as it was inevitable.

Another negative story and a fuming editorial accompanied the second front page in as many days. And the News Ltd octopus and the Seven network spread it far and wide.

And Maybe It Won’t – In Fact,  Shouldn’t – End There. 

The councillors, on behalf of the community which elected them , should table a motion of ‘disappointment’ at the mayor generating nationwide negative publicity about a pub crawl incident involving him and his silly unprofessional response to the subsequent fine. The motion should at least express regret that the mayor has brought further ignominy to a city already struggling with major reputational damage.

Nobody’s calling for an outright censure motion, we all just want to get on with repairing the wrongs of entrenched political hooliganism that has dogged our community for too long, but this boofheaded lack of judgement and absence of awareness surely cannot go unremarked and unrecorded around the council table.

The Bulletin’s At It Again …. Flogging False Hope 

Lighton Smith also at it again, with this half-baked twaddle.

The headlines on this story are simply a lie … we know this because Lighton Smith himself tells us he hasn’t got a clue what’s going on, especially if work has actually started on some sort substantive renovation.  It seems our journalistic Inspector Closeau got on the case when he was alerted to this small sign outside the Dimmey’s site.

For reasons known only to himself, our chubby sleuth indulged in what seems  the only exercise he gets nowadays and jumped to the  incomprehensible conclusion that the sign confirmed ‘that renovations are underway’. 

Eh?   The sign itself did no such thing, so we read on to find out the proof of this very good news. Our eagle-eyed man spotted some tradies working near the ceiling,  close enough for a couple of pics, citing this as proof that big things were afoot, but apparently didn’t even make  a casual inquiry asking what they were doing.  He also didn’t ask the council if any new agreement had been reached on the rehabilitation which has been stalled for decades. The owners of the building weren’t  saying anything either. So the more likely but less sensational explanation might be that the tradies were doing a make-safe on the area recently vacated by Chemists Warehouse.

Perhaps it never occurred to Lighton that if there was genuine move toward renovation and rehabilitation of the pivotal site, the TCC would be crowing from the rooftops and the owners would be heaping praise on themselves.

But Lighton is no stranger to this confabulist MO. Remember this?

Hey, mate, care to check with the council and give us an update on the $550m water park and ‘beach club’  featuring a 15-storey, 200 room hotel at Cluden that you so adamantly told in a couple of a front page story a year or so ago was about to ‘supercharge the local economy with hundreds of jobs’? Or how about just ringing the Cluden Turf Club and asking if the proposed purchase of the land for this project has actually been sold to the proponents yet ? As a last resort, maybe ask the two proponents – who appear to be a couple of wannabees from Home Hill – where things stand?

Seriously Leighton, you wonder why you get so much stick here in the Nest.

Does the above give you any clues?

And While We’re With The Astonisher

One of the paper’s endearing little foibles of late is repeating the same story, something we read one days bobs up again a few days later. But in the last week they’ve outdone themselves, with the same story appearing twice in the one edition, just three pages apart.

It would be more endearing if we weren’t paying for the privilege.

We know, Ms Poulson, that you won’t and shouldn’t apologise to the mayor or anyone else for, as you so indignantly put it in your editorial ‘doing our job’ . But what’s the situation when you’re NOT doing your job, like this example among regular similar cock-ups?  Do you just hope we don’t notice? Well, good luck with that, it won’t be the case while The Magpie’s cloaca is pointing to the ground.

Then There’s This Little Mystery

There seems to be some disparity about the numbers involved in the new TCC grant rules. One of the Bulletin’s more competent reporters  Andrew Mackaysmith (anyone got a spare hyphen for the poor bloke) recently told us that the council had changed the rules pertaining to council hand-outs (sorry ‘partnership grants’) quote  The updated partnership guidelines now support funding applications ranging from $5000 up to $50,000.’

But during the week, the council put out a media release inviting organisations to put their hands up for some public moola. But the top ask was suddenly half previous the previous report, to $25,000.

This is a policy that is much commented on in Townsville, so it is kinda important to know the top ask.

But then, there is also the new requirement about organisations seeking public funding will have to prove the economic worth of their event. In comments during the week, it was reported that one group proposing a buskers festival had been knocked back because they could only say visitor numbers, likely accomodation benefits and economic boost would only be ‘guesstimates’. They said this answer was the reason they failed to be considered for a requested $15,000 grant.

If this rejection is true, there is an interesting question for the council shiny bums to tell us:  what else could any projection of tourism benefits to the economy be except ‘guesstimates’.? If not, could a council spinner please tell what process is used to more accurately decide an events tourism value?  Do the grant poobahs use the TEL method – think of a nice number, publish it after an event but offer absolutely not a shred of evidence to back it up.

Or do you just have to be a mate of someone on e council viewed favourably by the grants committee?

Seems there might be many on this council who think transparency is just something used for a slide show.

Nowhere Near There Yet, So Miles To Go?

Word swirling about at the annual Labor Party knees up in Brisbane  this weekend is that a leadership challenge is in the air before the end of the year.

Steven Miles – hard to believe he’s a former Premier, even by default –  could be on the slide, not having been able to lay a glove on Crisafulli. And The ‘Pie is told that some are pushing the youth angle and are backing 33-year-old Meaghan Scanlon to take  over Labor’s poisoned chalice.

in her nine years in Parliament Ms Scanlan seems to have had more state cabinet positions than Scott Morrison had federally … the difference being of course, that she was appointed by others. not herself.

Meaghan was the Minister for Housing, Minister for Planning and Local Government and Minister for Public Works.She has also served as Minister for the Environment and Great Barrier Reef and Minister for Science and Youth Affairs as well as Assistant Minister for Tourism Industry Development. She holds several of these positions in the current shadow cabinet.

She may have been the youngest ever state Housing Minister, but even if she were elected tomorrow, she would still be way off being the youngest Queensland premier … that honour belongs to the politically unaligned Sir Robert Herbert,  the state’s very first premier in 1860, who got the top job at the bum fluff age of 28 and a bit.  But  there is a case of history repeating itself. Like David Crisafulli more than 150 years later, Herbert started out as the member  in north Queensland, for Leichhardt on the Cape  but after three years, moved to West Morton near Brisbane. Otherwise it would’ve  have been a different sort of hellish journey back then, mostly trial by water rather than by trial by potholes.

Although perhaps bum fluff is the wrong joke.

First Qld Premier Sir Robert Herbert

Goodbye Dolly ...

There was much to love about Dolly Parton, the singer and philanthropist, who died at age 80 from cancer during the week.  One of her most endearing traits was that she was never – in the vernacular – up herself.  That is one reason why she crossed all social boundaries and was universally loved and admired. Dolly Parton jokes were standard fair for decades, – they ran from front bar yuk yukkery about her breasts (here, The ‘Pie raises a guilty hand) to her rhinestone outfits and outlandish hairstyling.  But the very best Dolly jokes were told by Dolly herself.  She cheerfully went along with the humour, once telling an interview who had asked a sniffy question about her general appearance ‘Hey, it takes a lot of money to look this cheap’.  The ‘Pie’s favourite was her reply when asked if she resented being called a dumb blonde -“I don’t mind what they say, because I know I ain’t dumb … and I know I ain’t blonde’. 

What hurt many people was the loss of a truly good and caring person in an America that increasingly has far too few of them.  An accurate if emotional expression of this grief came from American social media commentator/comedian  Alex Pearlman, who highlighted the stark contrast of Parton’s worldwide philanthropy (especially her program of boosting kid’s literacy) with the ‘every man for himself’ ethos now dominating American society. He doesn’t hold back.  (That book mail out program he talks about also operates in Australia.)

His sentiments were echoed elsewhere.

But alas, that is unlikely, at least over the next couple of years. Trump’s deranged vanity moved closer to home recently,  when he started a pointless confrontation with Canada. But when Canada did an ‘Iran’ and openly defied this demented bully,   the Orange Abomination regressed  again into infantalisation, proposing to rename one of the Great Lakes, Lake America.  The derision was worldwide, with our own lads at The Shovel getting in one of the best licks.

One aspect of the Iran resistance is the myriad murals and billboards elegantly depicting their defiance of US. They have even installed art work statues  near the Strait of Hormuz which is supposed to show defiance to the last shot. But … umm… wouldn’t like to be the bloke standing behind the RPG rocket launcher …. he might end up the toast of Teheran. 

And on the subject of AI, The ‘Pie has often wondered why robot designers insist on making them take a sort of human form.  You’d think given the frailties of the human model, designers might come up with something more like, say,  R2-D2. Besides, as Larry in the London Telegraph points out,  human-like robots are likely to be the subject of human’s performance enhancing temptations.

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That’ll do for this week. Comments are back to their lively best, dive in fro your say, they run 24/7.

Popular Townsville games: pin the tail on the donkey, blind man’s bluff, cast a vote in the Division One by-election. Noms now closed but the field narrows itself down. Stick the pin wherever you like,  let’s face it, the by-election isn’t a big deal compared with to recent polls.

Hope you’re sitting down for this one , dear reader,  but The ‘Pie has praise for a couple of Bulletin reporters (stop your fist pumping and sit down, Lighton,  you’re not one of them.)

The Sydney Swans management uses the Sergeant Schultz excuse ‘I know nudding.’  And like Sergeant Shcultz, they’re lying.

And America’s week, as told in our regular US cartoon gallery.

A hefty bill for web hosting for this free blog landed in the Nest this week. As always, a voluntary hand with the blog’s financial obligations is always needed and always appreciated. If you can that lend a hand, the donate button is at the end of the blog.

For Some, Townsville Council’s Generosity Giving Away  Ratepayers Money Now Comes With Strings Attached. But For Others,  None.

In a long overdue move, last week’s TCC meeting ditched one of the more cynical Labor-inspired council rorts, that of heavily linking grant requests to the promotion of a particular councillor.  It was blatant vote buying with public funds and was instrumental in keeping Jenny Hill and her Team Uphill  in power for such a long time. So this move is a significant game changer and not just an overdue policy correction … and in more ways than one.

Looking down from on high, the late Clr Fran O’Callaghan would be applauding.

But that last line  from the Bulletin excerpt is the real kicker for change, although it brings its own bureaucratic baggage, too – policing those ‘explicit guidelines’  will probably mean more shiny bums in Walker Street to do the forensic overview.  Mind you, there are some very ticklish question about just how any outfit could prove it’s responsibility for a tourism boost or increased overnight stays. The council itself will have its work cut out … did you know that there is no industry body in Townsville that gathers accurate overnight stay information across the whole city?  All current claims can only be guesstimates.

Anyway,  at least the new policy  should ensure no overseas family jaunts to the homeland,  and no more BBQs and swimming pools suddenly appearing in the backyards of certain ‘organisers’.

But let’s consider that opening line again: ‘Townsville community groups seeking local government funding will have to prove their economic worth (linking) directly to their economic worth’. 

Yes, yes, Nesters, you’re way ahead of The ‘Pie, you’ve already got the $750,000 question in mind: if these responsible guidelines of integrity apply to one area of council largesse, why not all such support?

Specifically,  will these guidelines apply Townsville Enterprise Limited?  And if not, why not?

Councillors and shiny bums will have a hard time justifying an exception if TEL is not subject to the same stringent oversight that community-minded groups face.  Sure, the TEL set-up is different, and the annual hand-out well established  but  never justified in any terms, let alone reported in plain language that can be understood by the public. TEL insists that its books are not open because they are a member-based organisation (which is a whole load of hot cock). And if community groups can’t pull the old Commercial in Confidence trick, then the Dudley do Nothings shouldn’t be able to either.  And they shouldn’t have to, they only have to account for how the ratepayers portion of their income is spent,  ensuring it is not used for operational costs including staff wages, office rent, electricity, catering nd long-term equipment purchases. (Or, The ‘Pie might add, not on long Mojito-fuelled cocktail hours schmoozing with the Bulletin’s editor.)

Or has the ‘Pie jumped the gun here, is this the opening shot from councillors that TEL needs to be more accountable for their ratepayer support?

Is The ‘Pie mistaken when he says he detects an appetite for change in the council of late, a desire to clean house?

If so, this policy change is a bloody good start.

With That In Mind ….

Wonder if we’ll get a bit more clarity out of this.

No industry is expected to be up and running at Lansdown before 2030,  if then, and there have been some tenancy hiccups in the past, so the information session will presumably just let ratepayers know how the council is progressing its role in the development. And if we’ll be up for any more dough.

Anyone who can afford the petrol and is attending, drop The Nest a line about proceedings.

Divvy One By-Election: What A Big Fat Nothing Burger

The most infuriating thing about this political footnote in Townsville’s chequered electoral history is that Troy Thompson has again gone against widespread public sentiment and has refused to nominate for the council seat. He has thus selfishly deprived thousands of voters with their clear choice of not voting for him. What a prick.  Said he’s going to concentrate finishing the three books he is  writing … working titles are Lying For Fun And Profit,   then It’s OK To Feel Cheated: how to release your inner victimhood, and his manifesto as a Sovereign Citizen Truth: Why it is overrated.  He tells The ‘Pie his best work How I Beat Neil Armstrong To The Moon was canned when he discovered that the moon landing was faked in a Mojave desert warehouse.

Dunno ’bout you, but The ‘Pie has worked himself up into a frenzy of apathy about this by-election (as demonstrated by the foregoing drivel). But one supposes one must talk about it, so …

The ranks of viable candidates have mercifully thinned themselves out,  with front bar social dingbat Steve Clare virtually guaranteeing failure with his weird insistence that all candidates, indeed all sitting councillors,  be forced to take drug tests. This bit of mild lunacy brought a brilliantly succinct putdown from a leading candidate Michael Pugh who told the Bulletin yes, he would willingly take part in a drug test ‘if it was a requirement of the role,  but absolutely not if it was just because someone with no authority had asked.’ Mr Pugh then settled Clare’s hash when he added ‘I think it would be much more beneficial to the voters if candidates were required to undergo a basic aptitude test.’  OUCHA!

Ironically, it was Clare who pushed another candidate, Michelle Hobson out onto the fringes of success with his creepy, bullying public demand that she agree to a hair follicle drug test. Hobson was so freaked out by this ludicrous encounter, she literally fled the markets where the incident too place, vowing never to return because she was so rattled. Thus she demonstrated  that politics, even at the local padded political playpen is never going. to work for her.  Making matters worse for herself, she blubbed she was put off Clare because she apparently enjoys ‘spidy’ intuition about people – a talent that apparently didn’t extend to her former criminally-linked partner.  She also gabbled on about a severe health problem, from which she ‘nearly died three times’.  Given they’ve had multiple elections at various levels in a short period of time, the poll weary voters of the division will no doubt have the longevity of who they select as a major consideration.

So we are left with putative front runner Pugh, a rehabilitated violent crim who is Katter connected,  the Lucky Starr I’ve Been Everywhere  perennial campaigner Joanne Keune and educator  Shayne Blacklock, who also has a side hustle of hustling pool tables to local pubs and clubs.  The emphasis on backgrounds is important here for each ones chances, because they are all singing from the same hymn book about local connection, local focus and putting  the division’s interest foremost.  Damned handsome of them, if you ask me, promising to prioritise what they are meant to prioritise anyway. The sprawling electorate offers some unique problems of public transport and the other needs of an ageing demographic, and all three candidates reference this before gingerly tiptoeing around larger issues not directly connected to the area where an excess of enthusiasm might appear to dilute their local interest.  And none  have been silly enough to make anything more than hopeful noises and vague promises they can’t keep about rates.

So, using his own spidy senses to judge the vibe,  The ‘Pie thinks this may well come down to preferences, .So Blacklock, with the most solid local connection to the division, and the least controversial background could get up in a poll where no one appears ready to grab a stand-alone majority.  But who know how things will twist and turn as the campaign trudges on. One thing appears certain, that given the wide negative aspects of various backgrounds,  it seems unlikely there will be any sensational revelations of the like we have experienced over recent years.

Even given the largely rural nature of the division,  it seems unlikely there will be any vote changing revelations of illicit interspecies activity. or the like.  As much as the Bulletin may wish.

Speaking Of Which …

Overall, the Daily Astonisher remains like the curate’s famous egg, good in parts. And it is those recent good parts that deserve a mention here, because the sentiments about the paper in The Nest are generally less than complimentary. In fact, the first story, although originating in Townsville, is lifted locally from the Courier Mail. The Magpie has admired the reporting of this one, a bit of a tag team effort between reporters Shayla Bulloch and Janessa Ekert.

Reporter Janessa Ekert

Reporter Shayla Bulloch

News Ltd flew in both these journos in for the Bogie murder trial,  former Bulletin journo Bulloch from the Courier in Brisbane where she is now the chief crime reporter, and Janessa Ekert, who has ranged across a number of News Ltd publications, specialising in crime and court reporting for the past 10 years. 

This is the story that’s been running in the paper for several days. 

Earlier this month, Darryl Young went on trial in the Townsville Supreme Court for allegedly shooting dead neighbours Mervyn and Maree Schwarz, and Maree’s son Graham Tighe. He is also charged with the attempted murder of Tighe’s brother, Ross, who was wounded and has been giving evidence. The Bulletin has been running daily reports on proceedings,  and The ‘Pie, who understands the difficulty of this sort of reporting, has been impressed with the linked and coherent narrative Bulloch and Ekert have managed to sustain each day.  These big stories don’t ever ‘write themselves’, and the average reader wouldn’t be aware of the long stretches of tedium and interruptions to any narrative flow in court cases.  And picking up the thread, and filtering out extraneous legal matters that always pop up in jury trials, takes constant concentration. For The ‘Pie (slightly nostalgic, he’ll admit) found this well told, cracking yarn riveting reading.

So full marks to Bulloch and Ekert (and possibly a diligent sub somewhere in the background) . The ‘Pie will be following this one right to the end, there’s already been one surprise twist – a half-arsed alibi that seems to have disappeared – and you never know with these things.

Journalist Andrew Mackaysmith

The other reporter worth mentioning is a relatively new name to the Astonisher.  Andrew Mackaysmith has only been with the Astonisher for about three months, but from the outset, he has shown he knows his business, across a very wide range of subjects … his reporting of TCC meetings shows a professional grasp not always present in other’s coverage.   His subject matter and bylines on business and politics, often state stuff that affects NQ,  make it seem he splits his time between Townsville and Brisbane, but in the electronic age,  nothing too remarkable there.

OH, All Right, Stop Pouting, Leighton, You Are Getting A Bit Better.

Leighton Smith

Poor old Leighton ‘Lighton’ Smith,  he’s copped a bit of a pasting in the Nest, and The ‘Pie will admit, not always fully deserved.  But too much fun to resist.

But our man has been doing some more substantial work of late. His recent stories on the plight of the stalled private hospital at the old West End School was not only informative and covered most salient points, but he dived into the world of backup video reporting,  which means we are now graced with his image.

So all in all, there are some bright spots in the paper, squeezed in between the ads,  dad-joke punning headlines and regular cock-ups.

Now if Jill can just realise what editorials are for, the sky’s the limit.

Swan Dive: The Club Management’s Intelligence Insulting Claims Haven’t Helped

The player behaviour at the core of this spectacular fall from grace is potentially serious enough, and will play out elsewhere in coming days,  probably weeks. But for the club’s management to say the suspension of the five players had nothing to do with alleged sexual offences and was solely because those involved had broken a curfew and had. been drinking was simply a brazen attempt at arse covering. And was most certainly a lie. Thing is, it didn’t work anyway, with sponsors now contemplating the risks to themselves and looking shaky. This, and the loss of any chance of a lucrative run through to the Grand Final, could cost the Swans millions.

But do the Swans board and management seriously want the public to believe that they deliberately torpedoed the strong possibility of this year’s flag – and the rewards that go with it – simply because of – they say – a disciplinary breach by its match-winning top echelon of players? Apparently they do, to which the ‘Pie says bollocks.

Let’s put it this way: if NO  complaint of sexual misconduct as made, does anyone believe these suspensions would’ve occurred? That the membership itself would not have demanded the heads of those who made such an unbalanced decision ?  There would have been a closing of ranks, and lots of waffle about fines and ‘all handled internally’ – which the public wouldn’t have cared much about because no actual laws of the land had been broken.

No, the board and management knew what was coming, they probably actually knew some details, but made the simple disciplinary claims and actively repudiated any link to the sexual allegations, to try to stem the sponsorship shit storm inevitably heading their way.  In short they lied and thus insulted the public.  And guess what? If for any reason those allegation don’t stand up, the board and management will suddenly be facing some very angry demands for accountability – that the polite word for saying they will most likely be rissoled themselves.

Of course, the most interesting thing for anyone who understands both the money and the passion involved in Aussie Rules, especially around finals time, is whether anyone will openly ask the question on many minds: Was this a deliberately planned honey trap to encourage bad behaviour and thus nobble a club that maybe a bookie was carrying too much risk on?  Even so, trap or not, it doesn’t make any offending right, but the players might not be the only villains in this off-field drama.

Unlikely? Maybe. Possible? Certainly.

Hey, Maybe The Swans Board Could Plead With Trump To Intervene.

The Orange Abomination has a good track record in sorting out sporting misdemeanours.  But probably too busy right now, as the war he started and that he said would be over in two weeks is now entering its second year.

And finally ….

One we can relate to here in Oz, too.

………………

Keep those comments coming, they remain lively throughout the week. The donate button to offer some much needed assistance with blog costs is below. Til next week.

When The Magpie runs the rule over the field of cartoon characters lining up for the Divvy 1 council seat, you’ll laugh or cry. Probably both.

And things are looking up for the Townsville Council …. well, kinda

And we’ve been saying it for a decade now, but whenever you think the Orange Abomination couldn’t go any lower, Trump again proves us wrong, with an act of depraved and potentially deadly cowardice. 

For as long as you keep receiving the Nest each week, The ‘Pie will keep receiving bills for its upkeep, which can be onerous at times. You can help out with a donation to ease the pressure, or even create a ‘set and forget’ monthly contribution of your choosing – it can always be cancelled. Or Increased. Either way, it will all go to helping The ‘Pie keep the bastards honest.

One Way To Right A Wrong  Is To Stop It Happening In The First Place.

Modern social discourse is now littered with what could  be best described as ‘what the hell were they thinking?’ moments.  The North Queensland Cowboys management proposal to build a $20m pokie palace 1400 kms away from its Townsville base at Logan City in the Greater Brisbane area, falls squarely into this category.

Is this wrong? 

Oh, FFS, let us count the ways.

First, despite some mealy mouthed Uriah Heep handwringing from Cowboys CEO Tim Follett about the usual wonderful ‘other things’ the new money pit will provide, this all about making money from the lower socio economic groups who are the main cohort addicted to poker machines. Logan is an area of several significantly depressed localities none of which have any discernible, even tenuous, link  the NQ Cowboys. The risible suggestion that it would give Cowboys fans in the area a gathering place is a brazen insult to the intelligence.  And how is this for a quote from Follett, a bloke who has been with the Townsville-based Club for less than five months, and in the town’s private sector for just 4 years:

 “There was a significant and passionate support base in the state’s south east with the region home to one of their largest supporter communities outside North Queensland. For many years we’ve heard from members and fans who would love a place they can call their own.” 

Is one allowed to susopect this is utter crap? This-is-simply-about-the-money-pokies-will-generate.

To the year ending October 2025, the club’s Flinders Street operation  reported a profit of $17.6m from its 235 Townsville machines., more than food and booze ($$8.7M), membership subs ($5m) and merchandise  sales($4.4m) lumped together. So an extra 100 machines could be expected to bring in around $5m. How this would stack up against Logan operating costs is beside the point, most of this  sum will be involuntary taxation by those who can least afford it, or do anything about their addiction.

And let’s dispose of that old canard that it’s a free choice if you decide to play poker machines. That is like a paedophile’s  defence ‘The kid chose to take my lolly and chose to accept my invitation to get into my car, so it’s the kid’s fault they got hurt, not mine’. Disguised invitations to harm are unacceptable at every level.

It is now indisputable that pokies are a harmful addiction that do more damage socially and economically than smoking ever has. And unlike smoking,  there are no requirements to meaningfully warn players of the dangers of this mind-dead  activity (it’s not gambling when no skill, knowledge or tactics,  are required,  just the zombie-like pressing the button of a machine pre-programmed to ensure you lose). Ironically, studies have found that playing poker machines increases smoking.

But OK, we could go on forever in general terms, but let’s get specific: there is another aspect to this proposal, which in a word  is hypocrisy. 

Because the organisation proposing this move is forever virtue signalling its commitment to any number of fashionable modern poses, like an indigenous round to recognise ATSI contributions to the game, patronising (both ways)  Welcome To Country ceremonies,  protocols of care for players brains (a questionable concern in many cases), outspoken condemnation of domestic violence, support to further the women’s game, rules against homophobia, and any number of programs promoting healthy minds and bodies, which include no smoking or drugs.

So why not the inarguably damaging social poison of pokies? 

OK,  existing  machines on which the club depends  are in place , and will stay until the law says otherwise (ha, fat chance!) , but creating more? In an area where the damage will be palpable? Surely that is unconscionable.

Well, here’s the good news, which will render unnecessary any outcry from the club’s 20,619 members. The ‘Pie feels certain that just four people, all highly regarded citizens, can and will stop this ill-conceived idea stone dead. These four.

The board of NQ Cowboys Ltd, chair Lewis Ramsay, Joe Carey, Deirdre Comerford and Paul Rissman.

It is difficult to believe that this foursome,  the board of the North Queensland Cowboys Limited can be comfortable with this plan from new CEO Tim Follett.  Perhaps Mr Follett (appointed only last April) could be counselled against this thoughtless idea, and told in no uncertain terms to cease and desist. He might also be asked how this plan sits with his religious beliefs, having been chairman of the WorshipCentre Christian Church in Brisbane for seven years.

This church appears to be one of the smaller ‘happy clapper’ variety, founded in Tonga and now spread across several countries. The ‘Pie’s research suggests  the church  to be cheerful, sincere and responsible in their social and spiritual beliefs. Beliefs one assumes Mr Follett shares. 

Let us pray that he does. For Townsville’s sake if no other reason, we’ve had enough reputational battering over the last decade or so.

Division One: So Far, It’s Hobson’s Choice – But Not Necessarily THAT Hobson

For the developmentally delayed, a Hobson’s choice is a free choice in which only one thing is actually offered – it is an illusion of an alternative. 

So far, the by-election field seems to suggest that whoever gets the electoral nod, the good burghers of Divvy one are going to get a dingbat of one variety or another.  One is an ex-violent crim, one claims to have a ‘spidey’ senses (The ‘Pie had to look it up, too, it means intuition or gut feeling – ironic as you will see) and the third may have late onset brain rot.

With noms closing in four days ( Thursday August 20 12pm) a quick call of the current card.

Michael Pugh,. A former crim, prissily described in the Daily Astonisher as ‘community group leader and volunteer’ whatever that entails, appears to be running on a rehabilitation ticket.  Basically ‘I fucked up a few years ago with an armed robbery and would now like to unfuck myself by becoming a councillor and committing the legal robbery of a vastly inflated salary well beyond the worth of the position.’  If he gets in just as well we have our committed pacifist mayor to make sure there’s no violence, unless someone mentions Slick Nick’s apres-matrimony squeeze during slurps around the mayoral drinks cabinet. Anyway, Div 1 could do worse. For instance …

Steve Clare, apparently an aggressive, thought-disordered lunkhead who seems more interested in the local drug scene than in anything to do with Division 1. His main foaming, spittle-flecked demand is that all councillors, starting with his by-election opponents, submit to drug tests. He seems to have a hair fetish, and one recoils a bit imagining how he leeringly pronounces the word ‘follicles’ This is front bar, five schooners in,  intelligentsia at its best, and Mr Clare doesn’t feel hampered that he probably needs Google maps on his phone to find where Division 1 actually is. Interesting to note that he is a retired spray painter, an industry that for a long time risked exposure to lead based paints and other misty floating chemicals.  Perhaps his opponents should insist he submit to a brain scan. Which brings us to …. 

Michelle Hobson, who boasts of having ‘spidey senses’ aka gut feeling, which turns out to be ironic, given her health problems are further down south from the brain.  The Astonisher assigns her the vague, generally meaningless description ‘health advocate and community author’ whatever the fuck all that means. Ms Hobson was in the news recently for melting into a quivering puddle of panic, when a heavy-breathing Clare approached her from behind and growled something like ‘how about giving me a follicle, girly?” Since it was unclear from where Clare wanted to obtain the hair sample, Ms Hobson promptly follicled off, fleeing the scene permanently, she says.  But having boofheads like Clare in your face wanting to fondle your follicles is one thing, but Ms Hobson’s actions  did not inspire confidence as a Divisional champion facing down opponents. Discussing the ‘confrontation’ with her, The Bulletin reported:

She said illicit drug use was medically impossible due to her severe ulcerative colitis and ongoing treatment following major abdominal surgery.

“I have a chronic illness, and I am on like serious medications, like biologic medications that suppress my immune system,” Ms Hobson said.

“I’m not taking any drugs … Literally, I’ve almost died three times, and I had surgery earlier this year.”

One doubts the voters will thank her for sharing matters best left in private,  and at the same time leaving open the possibility of another by-election at some stage due to health reasons.

There are other mouth breathers who will muddy the electoral pond, but now, the furrowed brow pondering all this is one Troy Thompson. Yes, our old conman mate TwoNames seems to think he might be able to take the innocent burghers of the North shore by surprise and maybe make a late entry into the race.  He’s such an obsessed goof, that his FB post dropping the hanky and trailing his coat criticises the paper for saying exactly what he himself then says.

Still getting plenty of airtime apparently, “teasing a run” now. I haven’t nominated, nominations don’t close until 20 August, and I’ll make my own decisions in my own time. Funny how much space I still take up in the paper though, seems to be assisting in selling papers though. Timing is everything. ????

Fair to say, he is lying in wait, and will be still lying when he stops waiting. 

TCC Lookin’Good? It All Depends On How You Read It – But It Doesn’t Add Up

There are a few Nesters who adamantly disagree with The ‘Pie’s view that Slick Nick Dametto is just what the TCC needs for the time being,  sort of ballast for the rocking boat. Putting aside that ballast is usually rocks or lead not capable of original or independent – or any – thinking, Nick has mastered the cheesy grin of the photo op and has so far avoided any ‘visionary legacy’ projects (a spaceport on Castle Hill … why not?) and, beyond tinkering around with the Strand,  wisely keeping his head down.

Seems a growing number of people agree with The Magpie’s view, but when they read this paean of praise, some maybe feel a distinct dissatisfaction with the maths in this  key takeaway from the TCC media release .

In 2026, Townsville City Council’s rating increased by 7.1 per cent to 58.5 (from 54.6), bucking national trends that saw most Australians’ satisfaction with their councils decline.

It’s rare,  the ‘Pie could be wrong (- yes, it’s been known, however let’s not talk about unpleasant infections right now -)  but 58.5% minus 7.1% is … crikey, I’m running  out of blackboard here – ummmm – 51.4%? 

Anyway, the journalist in the old bird says the other unmentioned side of this story is that  41.5% of citizens are NOT satisfied with the council performance. And of course, this cynic might wonder if the decline in other jurisdictions is , say, down from 94% to 92%  – that’s a decrease of -ummm – 6.2%, isn’t it? Or something like that, close enough.

It’s all relative, as they say in Tasmania.

A Close-Up Look That Says It All

Reality can catch us all off guard.

Having lived there for a few years back when it really was a green and pleasant land, The ‘Pie has been mildly disconcerted  to see the effect drought is having on Britain. Viewing the drone footage of parched parklands and ruined, brown crops, and today, unprecedented urban fires caused by the tinder dry conditions, the human dimension doesn’t really come to mind. 

But then an expat Aussie friend sent a couple of photos of their backyard that changed the perspective from the general to the personal.

These photographs would be unremarkable if taken in Australia anywhere west of the Great Dividing Range in any summer… but these, taken during the week,  are from one of the southern counties of England that normally rival even Ireland for lush greenery.  

As Mr Dylan said, the times, they are a changin’.

So This Is Where We’ve Reached – In A Truly Heinous Act, Republicans Just Shrug and Chuckle ‘Another Day,Another Donald’.

At least we got a good headlinbe out of it – from The Australian.

It seems it is not enough that he has stripped away the finally dangling shreds of dignity, respect and credibility of the once world-revered office of the President of the United States.  Donald Trump has now  nonchalantly shrugged off any pretence of legitimacy with one of the most craven acts of cowardice unimaginable in any previous occupant of the Oval office. Or anybody, for that matter.

Forget the laughable indignity of his secret transfer from one presidential jet to another in an airline food truck to foil a suspected Iranian assassination attempt. This slithering piece of sub-humanity allowed more than a hundred or more people – his unsuspecting traveling entourage of officials, including Secretary of State Marco Rubio and Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent, other staff, the entire press pool, and the plane’s crew – to remain on the aircraft he was smuggled off fully knowing his security people believed it would be targeted by a rocket attack. 

Even when the whole elaborate deception fell apart days later, this truly insane megalomaniac, speaking from his private fantasyland,  even claimed he had made those left behind safer because he wasn’t with them, because he was the target! seriously.

And Americans were worried about Joe Biden’s mental state?

But with this arch cunt, there’s nothing left to do laugh, with gritted teeth. Which just about every US penman has done. Our gallery.

This One Works For Australia, Too

And The ‘Pie as a kid …

A Final Random Thought

Does Jesus look down on earth’s turmoil and sigh ‘Oh, for Mysake’!

…………….

‘Pie will join you again next week, unless the Big One happens and the cockroaches have inherited the earth. But hey, if that’s the case, you can give a generous donation to The Nest, just in case it can continue under cockroach management. In the current climate, a refund is guaranteed in the case of a nuclear war or if Troy Thompson is elected in Division One.

The council’s explains a damning judgement of incompetence by the Queensland Audit office which amounts to: ‘Hey, look, shit happens, OK? Not apologising, get over it, let’s move on.’

And The ‘Pie wonders about the media’s strangely muted reaction to this audit matter which may yet turn out to be a major story involving Jenny Hill, Prins Ralston and almost $700,000 of public money.

The question is asked … sloppy or sneaky?  What’s behind The Bulletin’s weird decision to go one better than its ‘Yesterday’s News Tomorrow‘  motto, opting instead for ‘Last Month’s News Repeated Today.’ With nothing better to do, The ‘Pie offers a couple of outlandish conspiracy theories.

Want to definition of political cowardice? Look no further than the current political polka around gambling advertising.

Plus a few laughs from around the place,  including some grim humour in our regular Cartoon Gallery USA.

If you believe this alternative voice for Townsville issues is contributing to the community discussion, you can support the weekly effort with a donation. As The Magpie’s Nest is both free and free of advertising to maintain its independence,  any assistance with the finances associated with the blog would be as appreciated as it is needed. Thanks.

Insult, Arrogance And A Golden Opportunity Gone Begging: Joe McCabe Drops The Ball On Restoring Trust In The TCC.

Townsville City Council CEO Joe McCabe.

The council’s CEO was handed a perfect opportunity to consolidate the growing gains in trust the TCC has managed to claw back in the wake of Jenny Hill’s ruinous decade and the subsequent Thompson turmoil.  Things looked grim when the council was ordered to publicly table this scathing letter from the Queensland Audit Office outlining the illegal creation of the council company North Rail Yards Development Pty Ltd, and then timing the deregistering the company in a way that hid its financial dealings.  The Audit office judged these matters showed “weaknesses in governance, oversight and financial reporting.” 

Even in the face of this grim reprimand, it would have been so simple to turn adversity to advantage by pointing out that an Audit Office accusations of  about lackadaisical  governance, oversight and financial reporting started back in the corrupt Jenny Hill/Prins Ralston era. A quiet apology to ratepayers for council not picking up on the illegal aspects of the North Rail Yards development as quickly as it should have, and a plain language explanation of what had happened and that it was being put to rights, would have been an acceptable response.

But no, that template of seeking community confidence didn’t fit with the entrenched local government instinct for arse-covering.

So the arrogance was breathtaking when all the councillors – ergo the ratepayers –  got from acting Chief Financial Officer Julia Pietrobon was a barely veiled  ‘yes, it happened, it was a fuck up but nothing to see here, let’s move on, peoples’. Not a hint of ‘we didn’t do well enough’ or ‘while this started before our time, we are sorry it happened and we are determined to do better’. Or,  if heads should roll.

As fucking if.

The prim, Ms Pietrobon, with the assired smugness of the protected public servant, delivered a stilted word salad in the psychopathically desiccated language of management speak.

She told the councillors:

“The first matter is believed to have arisen from an inconsistency between the beneficial enterprise’s powers in the Local Government Act, and the statutory body’s Financial Arrangements Act. Under the Statutory Bodies Financial Arrangements Act 1982, establishing a controlled entity counts as a type-one financial arrangement requiring prior written approval from the State Treasurer. Resolution of these issues was not undertaken in a timely manner, resulting in significant delay in completion of the audit.

Because retrospective approval cannot be applied, the entity was deregistered on May 17, 2026, removing any requirement to prepare financial statements for the 2024–25 and 2025–26 financial years.As approval cannot be retrospectively applied, the entity has been deregistered on the 17th of May. This matter cannot be rectified.”

She went on in this vein to say she was talking to the Audit office to nut out the financial details they required for the deregistered company.

Which, btw, one way or another involves almost $700,000 of public money.

The ‘Pie is surprised that Ms Pietrobon didn’t simply cut the chase and say ’Shit happens, live with it.’ 

Of course, it would’ve been too much to hope that she might have added, with a nudge and a wink, ‘This is of course if we are willing to accept that was a mistake made in ignorance in the first place’’.

Hopefully when this is sorted out,  and any questions about the deal cut with Brad Webb are examined satisfactorily, (it appears beneficial to all parties)  the poisonous legacy of Jenny Hill and Prins Ralston can finally be put behind us.

But There’s Another WTF About This Matter

Why were the local media, particularly the Bulletin and even the ABC,  apparently reluctant to cover this. matter The Magpie signalled this potentially significant story, publishing the Audit Office letter in full, last Monday, two days before the damning letter went before the council. And when the meeting dealt with the matter as reported above,  it didn’t rate a single mention, either that day or next by either of the two major news outlets in the city.  In fact, it wasn’t until Friday morning that Chloe Chomicki did a comprehensive and concise report for the ABC , with the Bulletin limping in later that afternoon with its  equally comprehensive coverage, a full 56 hours after the event.  both outlets treasted it with the importance it deserved,  so why couldn’t they have reported on such an significant  story two days earlier.

Judgement of the news value of a story varies between news organisations, and is often dictated by a broad unstated policy. So one guesses if the ABC could’ve found a transgender injustice in the matter, or the Bulletin a sick ‘but brave’ toddler with rare disease mioxed in there somewhere by Ms Pietrobon, we might’ve  heard from them both a bit sooner.

Taken For Granted

Many of us can remember that the guilty glow of illicit warmth we unexpectedly experienced when, as young children, we wet the bed.  That is the sort of unexpected warmth The Magpie experienced during last week’s council meeting, when Mayor Dametto, an avid reader of The Nest, golden-showered the old bird with a comment from the chair.

Earlier in the meeting, the six councillors present had waved through a bevy of council grants to various outfits and events, including the annual India Fest, which as usual copped a tasty $25,000 of ratepayers hard-earned. The previous week in the Nest, and on numerous other occasions over the years, The ‘Pie had queried this and similar grants to cultural groups, as did the late and much lamented councillor Fran O’Callaghan. Persistent questions remain about both the council’s lack of oversight about how  these public monies are spent, and the larger question of their justification in the first place. 

Another annual cultural bunfest staged by another Asian ethnic group was of momentary interest in this regard a short while back, where members of the community themselves insisted to TheMagpie that some of the council grant money (also $25,000) somehow found its way into a festival organiser’s backyard in the form of a private swimming pool.

As it stands, these grants are no more than crude and blatant vote-buying exercises by the incumbent Walker Street gang of the day. And there is no record available to the public or the council about how the money is actually utilised.

But, unsurprisingly, there wasn’t the smallest whimper from those present at Wednesday’s meeting about the grant needing oversight. 

After the approvals had skated through, various other bits of business were handled and the meeting started wrapping up with the usual free kick all councillors enjoyed, plugging themselves in the guise of praise for some recent or forthcoming event their division. But The Magpie was astounded when Mayor Dametto felt he had. to address a matter mentioned only in The Nest (no one else would dare,) so the Magpie was clearly the unmentioned target audience for the comment.

“I just might add – umm – note – umm –  noting the high level of interest in the topic around funding for the India Fest. I just want to add our support for the Townsville home grown India Fest and the community that has over the years put this together. It’s a great show of culture, vibrancy, food, spices and everything else you could think (about) India. What I can say is I’m happy to support the $25,000 recommendation, noting that the organisation’s prior year of event surpluses, healthy cash reserves and also a strong capacity that is contributed to the event and their ability to attract good sponsorship this year. We want to make sure we are supporting events  but we also want to make sure that events like India Fest and other community events can find ways to be self-sustainable. On that basis, I am satisfied with that recommendation”.

Hang on, can we have that again, please. I’m happy to support the $25,000 recommendation, noting that the organisation’s prior year of event surpluses, healthy cash reserves and also a strong capacity that is contributed to the event and their ability to attract good sponsorship this year. We want to make sure we are supporting events  but we also want to make sure that events like India Fest and other community events can find ways to be self-sustainable. 

‘Healthy cash reserves’, eh?  Good sponsorship?  Event surpluses, whatever that means?  So by your own words, Nick, it sounds like the deservedly popular India Fest has become admirably self-sustainable. So why do you support an event which you yourself say is profitable with a cash grant of ratepayers money? In these circumstances, even in-kind would be questionable. Seems you really must address the requirement for financial oversight of this grant. Surely your good mate, a senior Fest organiser,  Nick Attam will be eager to give you an ‘independent’ report on the good uses it was put to … but Mr Attam should be advised that ‘preserving our healthy cash reserves’ is not an acceptable use, so think of something else.

Anyway Mr Mayor, you’ve given all and sundry multi-cultural groupings who want to have a ratepayer-subsidised prance in the park the green light to cop a similar grant, and you’d better think up a bloody good reason if you knock any of them back. Otherwise you might be accused of  favouritism and even howls of racism.

Revisited But Not Reheated … The Bulletin Strange Revival Of A Done And Dusted Story

Strange because there wasn’t a single new fact in the re-hash. On July 16, we read this story.

The guts of it was that because a big unit development on Ross River Road was canned by the council because the DTMR refused to allow direct access  onto Ross River Road on safety and congestion grounds. The only alternative was an equally unsafe, flood prone laneway. Bit of huffing and puffing all round by councillors, but that was that, brisbane had spoken.

But last Thursday,  three weeks and two days after the above story, we were treated to this rehash … at least it was rewritten … but didn’t contain a single new fact of any import whatsoever … in fact, none really .

Now, The ‘Pie has two theories why this happened, if we are willing to discount the obvious one of a sloppy cock-up.  It appears it was a deliberate repeat because of the new headline and a bit of a rewrite of the same facts.

The first theory, and most likely, is evident if you note the emphasis of ‘blame’ – as to just who appears responsible –  in the two different headlines. The initial one in July  implied it’s the council’s fault, while the second one paints the DRMR as the villains.  It behoves an editor to always favour the locals over Brisbane if one wants to stay in good odour on the cocktail and dinner party circuit of Townsville’s Nescafe society, so perhaps a call from Walker Street might be the reason for the reappearance.

But The ‘Pie likes his second theory best, simply because he loves making up this fairyfloss. Knowing that Slick Nick Dametto  is the Premier’s bitch in Townsville, maybe our mayor made a call to Brissy, then The Kid made another call within the government ranks,  so perhaps soon we’ll hear that the DTMR has had a change of heart and the much needed unit development can get access to RRR and thus go ahead. Vote winner all round (because everyone loves bashing public servants).

But it’s always good to know the paper is familiar with its coverage area.

Or was it another spelling error, and they meant the poor lady was cooking bagels?

But the downtrodden old Astonisher cannot catch a break. One of the arcane warnings of the newspaper layout craft is the danger of special interest inserts being slipped into a double page spread, and creating unwanted humour. This is because only half of headlines, stories and photographs are immediately visible until the insert is removed.  This was the problem that caused of the most ironic headline in this tottering newspaper last Friday.

Would it be too snide to suggest it was so appropriate that the headline appeared next to a horse’s arse.

Think The Proposed New Laws Restricting Betting Advertisements Will Fix The Gambling Problem ? Wanna Bet?

Like age limited social media access, the feds are about to pass yet another law that will be difficult if not impossible to police … the proposed labyrinthian maze of restrictions on gambling ads on TV and radio  – online seems to have been put in the too hard basket.

This is nothing less than political cowardice writ large – deliberately refusing to accept the glaringly obvious solution to the damage of inane betting advertisements, especially to younger impressionable viewers and listeners.

JUST SIMPLY BAN ALL ADS FOR GAMBLING SITES.  EVERYWHERE. The whole lot, all gone the way of cigarette advertising. And it’s a solution that will not affect the bottom of line of either the government, or the egregious betting industry itself, no matter what they say.

One of the biggest bullshit arguments from the industry is that much of the betting money would go off shore. Which maybe be true but so what? Just about all but the TAB are either American or British , with many ethnic groups the target of niche home country outfits.  But they would all keep operating in Australia, why wouldn’t they? And since the wagered money is invariably lost by many to a few, it doesn’t circulate in the Australian economy in any meaningful way, and ends up offshore anyway.  No one in the industry would lose their job, except the ones which will fall to the march of AI, which is already happening in the industry.  And there’s no reason government revenue would dip significantly, but there would be an offset in a lowering of cost demands on health, crime and even homelessness.

]The gambling scourge will not and cannot be stopped – making it go underground by outlawing it, even if possible , would create a far more damaging set of dangers – but coming generations can be protected from the most predatory practices of the grimy corporate low lifes who trade in it.  That approach worked for smoking, and there is absolutely not a single argument that it won’t work for this equally damaging social cancer.

A footnote:  Come the revolution and The Magpie’s the boss, the very first thing he’ll do is ban outright all poker machines. Any government that argues it isn’t sustainable with pokie taxes means this country really is in need of a complete reset. Hard to imagine how, but a party of David Pocock clones would be a good start.

A Good Start In America Would Be A Party Of Decent Human Beings.

Difficult to grasp just how far the United States has fallen under the evangelical ultra right wing ethos of Trump.  For some years now, there seems to have been a daily acceptance of some outrage as the new normal. But there are signs that a tipping point is rapidly approaching, which will hopefully be reflected in the coming midterm elections.  Whatever the outcome, it will be the Orange gangster in the White House who will be at the centre of any outcome.

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That’s the week,  don’t forget to check in daily with comments,  you’ll see a lot there not available elsewhere, and you can have your say.

The link to give a financial helping hand – much needed to keep the Nest aloft – is below.

Til next week.

”

But the paper wasn’t shy in using race baiting in a deliberately deceitful,  beat-up story for another tedious ABC-bashing load of flapdoodle.

All in all, just a standard week for the Astonisher, with the obligatory headline cock-up,  alternative spellings of the name of someone who appeared in two seperate stories, and a majorly subediting lapse sure to get  our headkicking deputy premier offside.

Plus a few laughs from around the place,  including the week’s in America through the eyes of its cartoonists.

The bills associated with publishing the Nest keep arriving with annoying regularity, so a helping hand via a donation would be greatly appreciated … to maintain its total independence, the Nest will always be free, and free of advertising. The donate button is at the bottom of the blog. Thanks.

You Said It, Mr Miles –  Smiley’s Spectacular Self-Own

There must surely be a few minders wondering ‘What the hell was he thinking?’ when they read this story this week.

Clever – just what victims of crime wanted to hear, you’re going to make a list.  FFS.

The gist of this gossamer thin load of horsefeathers was this in the story about Miles Budget Reply speech in Townsville.

Mr Miles accused ministers of exploiting crime statistics for political spin and promised to strip ministers of their control over crime data.

“I think the public’s really starting to tire of being told crime is fixed when their experience isn’t that,” Mr Miles said.“We’ve caught the government three times now manipulating statistics to try to make it look better.

“That’s why we announced we will create an independent community safety statistics bureau that reports to the parliament that everyone can trust, and that we can be sure isn’t being manipulated by one side of politics or the other.” 

Mate, are you listening to yourself?  If you’re so indignant  about crime statistics being used for political spin, why are you doing EXACTLY that with this announcement –  without any evidence, challenging crime statistics for political spin?  Especially when you’re calling out the government only ‘on suspicion’, without a shred of supporting evidence . (Hey, you might be right, but you actually need to prove it for credibility. Anyway, that’s beside the point here.)

Being a gormless dunce is one thing, but making an even bigger dunce of yourself takes you into deeper territory of goofdom.  And just to bolster that blunt assessment, just how did you work out that people who have their homes broken into, cars hijacked,  and store staff threatened by mostly drugged fuelled losers want to hear that -by gum, you’ve got the answer –   we’ll make a list of these neer-do-wells, that’ll show ‘em.

FFS, mate, seriously?  People are hurting, alarmed, dismayed, frightened and above all, feeling abandoned by politicians of all stripes with their spin, lies and their ineffective, self interested  political cowardice. Why don’t you, instead of your little listicle – or better still in addition to it –  tell us just what you would do to sort out this low class of mongrels infesting and destabilising our society.? Maybe promising mandatory NO BAIL for certain crimes, and buy and build places like the Covid-era Wellcamp facilty in Toowoomba (built is record time by the Wagner Family along with their airport). Solution to the crime epidemic is never going to be cheap, but balanced against that is the existing social and economic cost this thugocracy s is causing us – so it would possible to priortise a program to build places like Wellcamp  and put out the welcome mat for ALL these cretins, who don’t leave until they’ve had their day in court.   Or how about passing laws to keep soft cock magistrates and judges in line with community expectations?

In any parliamentary democracy – there’s a few left – it is always the Opposition’s duty to oppose – but at a guesstimate,  at state and federal level, 80% of useful and what could be productive even cooperative effort is sacrificed to sniping, bitching, lying and clever put-down slogans dissing the policies and personalities of the other side  and never once having any reasoned argument of alternatives.

No wonder the simple-minded unworkable solutions of One Nation have attracted so many, and make it a disaster-in-waiting of a very different kind.

This Is Just Stupid

The first rule of politics is to learn how to count. And you do your  basic maths through surveys, polls and data about voting intentions and the reasons behind those intentions so you can find policies that can move the numbers in your favour. 

It is this immutable rule that makes this story last Tuesday one of the most inanely stupid and crass bits of beat-up bullshit to ever be invented by the current reigning champions in the field. 

Quote: A prominent North Queensland community leader has blasted the ABC and southern politicians for treating migrant communities like cheap political pawns instead of individual Australians.

Multicultural Queensland Advisory Council member Nick Attam warned against treating new Australians as a monolithic block, arguing political parties must engage with individuals rather than cultural groups.

Mr Attam, who is also the editor of national publication The Indian Sun and a driving force behind India Fest Townsville, launched the blistering attack following an ABC Insiders broadcast in which panellists appeared to reduce more than one million Indian Australians to a mere electoral strategy.Unquote.

Not only is the basic premise utter codswallop – that polling researchers, political parties, and ergo sociologists should ignore known and proven voting tendencies in ethnic communities in favour of some impossible Quixotic notion of ‘individual treatment’ for polling purposes  –  but it turns out this rot is driven by a barely hidden News Ltd agenda of carefully targeted and – as usual – unfounded ABC bashing.

So first let’s look at the thin gruel on which this nonsense is based …  apparently based entirely on a single question by Insiders host Patricia Karvelas about Albanese’s election strategy – “He wants to make all of those Indian Australians his voters, right?”  And it’s a foundation that the Bulletin story itself makes even more flimsy, with the next sentence …

” This was followed by a discussion about how the diaspora was being targeted for political gain.”

A lively give and take which any reasonable viewer would expect. 

But reporter Andrew Mackaysmith isn’t in the reasonable realm, so he rounded-up Mr Attam to have a go at ‘em, so as to speak, with some well rehearsed sophisms to paint the one million Australians of Indian heritage as victims of an uncaring political system. (Oh, if only there were a Modi in charge, eh?) And his impossible demand of individual treatment for them all.

Now,  while Mr Attam’s idealistic bromides  could be accepted as obvious universal truths about equality, dignity and so forth, they actually had absolutely no bearing on the ABC matter. And when Mr Mackaysmith asked the ABC for comment (apparently no one anywhere else was even mildly interested),  a spokesperson sent him away with the flea in his ear that ‘ analysing migrants by their background was completely normal. Analysis of voting trends across different migrant communities is a common part of political commentary in Australia.”

Bit fuckin’ obvious, isn’t it, Andy?

But Mr Mackysmith (is that really a name?) lives by the mythical motto never fuck up a story with facts,  and breathlessly described Mr Attam’s mild inanities as a ‘savage backlash’ and a ‘blistering attack’.

Oh, purleeese, mate. The outrage, of this Townsville Bulletin special,  far from being a national cause du jour, would’ve spread all the way from maybe the Upper Ross to … hmmm … maybe as far as the Lower Ross.

Mr Attam’s contrived bleatings are all the more laughable when it is from a man who is editor of the Indian Sun, a monthly print and digital e-magazine  catering to in its own words  – ta da – Indian Australians. 

… and this ….

‘ … leading voice for the Indian community’?!?  What, just one voice for a whole community? What happened to the individual treatment you demand of pollsters, that’s hardly treating your targeted audience as individuals free of group think and self-interested solidarity. Or voting intentions.

But as a budding Mumbai Murdoch,  Mr Attam is on the right track with what look like massaged readership figures. 

But hey Nick, in the spirit of journalistic solidarity, here’s a idea for a story from The Magpie.

Not so long ago, there were some difficult questions asked – but unanswered – around the TCC table about annual grant money for local events, and prominent among the big ticket items was the Townsville IndiaFest. Seems much of the grant – what was it, $25,000 of ratepayers money  – wasn’t properly accounted for and a big chunk inexplicably was missing. Some councillors were concerned that ratepayer funds had ended up in – err – improper places. You could use your resources at the India Sun to launch an ‘blistering’ investigation into the alleged missing rupees, creating a ‘savage backlash’.

This should be a shoo-in scoop for you, the Bulletin won’t be touching it.

And besides, you have a head start, being, as the Bulletin says’ the driving force behind Townsville’s India Fest’. You’d be able to get to the bottom of this pretty quickly. If you ever wanted to.

All In All, Another Floundering Week For The Bulletin

Oddly enough, it was the Bulletin’s Weekend edition which cast some doubt on Mr Attam’s identity. In a story promoting the colourful fun of India Fest,  they published this pic of pollies, VIPs and organisers, with the caption giving one of the organisers a nuclear aspect of ‘Attom’.

Bombed out again, Astonisher. Funny how we trust all that word salad of names are correct but the one you got wrong was the shortest and simplest. Oh. well.

But that was small potatoes in the cockup area.  Iditor Jill Poulson might have got a please explain from the chief headkicker and Brutus-in -waiting Jarrod Bleijie over a matter reported in comments during the week.

Iditor Jill Poulson probably got a gruff ‘please explain from Brisbane … if anybody reads the Bulletin down there.

But getting it wrong … and obscure … in headlines is the Bulletin speciality, so locals might have wondered about this strange headline. Was it a drive-in brothel sold for a poultice?

Probably a victim of spellcheck, since the required word is Belrowes, well known to The Magpie and has never been, to his knowledge,  in the running to be beloved.

Well, at least they didn’t call it iconic.

Meanwhile, Victoria Gets A New Premier

Jacinta Allen was turfed out by her own Labor Government, in light of polling numbers ahead of a November election suggesting  she was about as popular as a Vegemite pizza in America. Her downfall was fuelled by spectacular cost blowouts of major infrastructure projects in the billions, and the repeated extension of completion dates going from next year now into the 2030s.

Maybe not of great interest anywhere else much, but it did give those lads at the Shovel a couple of golden moments of hilarity.

Talk about scathing backlashes!! 

But Extensions And Cost Blowouts Are Also Problems For Another Leader.

Americans now live in fear of Vietnam revisited, another ‘forever war’ with the Iran inanity now firmly in bloody stalemate. One of the reasons The ‘Pie increasingly hates Iran is that their dogged resistance to the attacks from the world’s biggest terrorist regime is making him barrack for them.  Trump’s chickens really are coming home to roost, but it looks like its a roost he shares.

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Enough now, The ‘Pie is retiring to his virginal couch, as Mills and Boon are fond of calling  the old farter.  Jump into comments anytime you like about anything you like – or don’t like.  The donation link for much needed financial support for the Nest is below. Til next week.