The council’s explains a damning judgement of incompetence by the Queensland Audit office which amounts to: ‘Hey, look, shit happens, OK? Not apologising, get over it, let’s move on.’

And The ‘Pie wonders about the media’s strangely muted reaction to this audit matter which may yet turn out to be a major story involving Jenny Hill, Prins Ralston and almost $700,000 of public money.

The question is asked … sloppy or sneaky?  What’s behind The Bulletin’s weird decision to go one better than its ‘Yesterday’s News Tomorrow‘  motto, opting instead for ‘Last Month’s News Repeated Today.’ With nothing better to do, The ‘Pie offers a couple of outlandish conspiracy theories.

Want to definition of political cowardice? Look no further than the current political polka around gambling advertising.

Plus a few laughs from around the place,  including some grim humour in our regular Cartoon Gallery USA.

If you believe this alternative voice for Townsville issues is contributing to the community discussion, you can support the weekly effort with a donation. As The Magpie’s Nest is both free and free of advertising to maintain its independence,  any assistance with the finances associated with the blog would be as appreciated as it is needed. Thanks.

Insult, Arrogance And A Golden Opportunity Gone Begging: Joe McCabe Drops The Ball On Restoring Trust In The TCC.

Townsville City Council CEO Joe McCabe.

The council’s CEO was handed a perfect opportunity to consolidate the growing gains in trust the TCC has managed to claw back in the wake of Jenny Hill’s ruinous decade and the subsequent Thompson turmoil.  Things looked grim when the council was ordered to publicly table this scathing letter from the Queensland Audit Office outlining the illegal creation of the council company North Rail Yards Development Pty Ltd, and then timing the deregistering the company in a way that hid its financial dealings.  The Audit office judged these matters showed “weaknesses in governance, oversight and financial reporting.” 

Even in the face of this grim reprimand, it would have been so simple to turn adversity to advantage by pointing out that an Audit Office accusations of  about lackadaisical  governance, oversight and financial reporting started back in the corrupt Jenny Hill/Prins Ralston era. A quiet apology to ratepayers for council not picking up on the illegal aspects of the North Rail Yards development as quickly as it should have, and a plain language explanation of what had happened and that it was being put to rights, would have been an acceptable response.

But no, that template of seeking community confidence didn’t fit with the entrenched local government instinct for arse-covering.

So the arrogance was breathtaking when all the councillors – ergo the ratepayers –  got from acting Chief Financial Officer Julia Pietrobon was a barely veiled  ‘yes, it happened, it was a fuck up but nothing to see here, let’s move on, peoples’. Not a hint of ‘we didn’t do well enough’ or ‘while this started before our time, we are sorry it happened and we are determined to do better’. Or,  if heads should roll.

As fucking if.

The prim, Ms Pietrobon, with the assired smugness of the protected public servant, delivered a stilted word salad in the psychopathically desiccated language of management speak.

She told the councillors:

“The first matter is believed to have arisen from an inconsistency between the beneficial enterprise’s powers in the Local Government Act, and the statutory body’s Financial Arrangements Act. Under the Statutory Bodies Financial Arrangements Act 1982, establishing a controlled entity counts as a type-one financial arrangement requiring prior written approval from the State Treasurer. Resolution of these issues was not undertaken in a timely manner, resulting in significant delay in completion of the audit.

Because retrospective approval cannot be applied, the entity was deregistered on May 17, 2026, removing any requirement to prepare financial statements for the 2024–25 and 2025–26 financial years.As approval cannot be retrospectively applied, the entity has been deregistered on the 17th of May. This matter cannot be rectified.”

She went on in this vein to say she was talking to the Audit office to nut out the financial details they required for the deregistered company.

Which, btw, one way or another involves almost $700,000 of public money.

The ‘Pie is surprised that Ms Pietrobon didn’t simply cut the chase and say ’Shit happens, live with it.’ 

Of course, it would’ve been too much to hope that she might have added, with a nudge and a wink, ‘This is of course if we are willing to accept that was a mistake made in ignorance in the first place’’.

Hopefully when this is sorted out,  and any questions about the deal cut with Brad Webb are examined satisfactorily, (it appears beneficial to all parties)  the poisonous legacy of Jenny Hill and Prins Ralston can finally be put behind us.

But There’s Another WTF About This Matter

Why were the local media, particularly the Bulletin and even the ABC,  apparently reluctant to cover this. matter The Magpie signalled this potentially significant story, publishing the Audit Office letter in full, last Monday, two days before the damning letter went before the council. And when the meeting dealt with the matter as reported above,  it didn’t rate a single mention, either that day or next by either of the two major news outlets in the city.  In fact, it wasn’t until Friday morning that Chloe Chomicki did a comprehensive and concise report for the ABC , with the Bulletin limping in later that afternoon with its  equally comprehensive coverage, a full 56 hours after the event.  both outlets treasted it with the importance it deserved,  so why couldn’t they have reported on such an significant  story two days earlier.

Judgement of the news value of a story varies between news organisations, and is often dictated by a broad unstated policy. So one guesses if the ABC could’ve found a transgender injustice in the matter, or the Bulletin a sick ‘but brave’ toddler with rare disease mioxed in there somewhere by Ms Pietrobon, we might’ve  heard from them both a bit sooner.

Taken For Granted

Many of us can remember that the guilty glow of illicit warmth we unexpectedly experienced when, as young children, we wet the bed.  That is the sort of unexpected warmth The Magpie experienced during last week’s council meeting, when Mayor Dametto, an avid reader of The Nest, golden-showered the old bird with a comment from the chair.

Earlier in the meeting, the six councillors present had waved through a bevy of council grants to various outfits and events, including the annual India Fest, which as usual copped a tasty $25,000 of ratepayers hard-earned. The previous week in the Nest, and on numerous other occasions over the years, The ‘Pie had queried this and similar grants to cultural groups, as did the late and much lamented councillor Fran O’Callaghan. Persistent questions remain about both the council’s lack of oversight about how  these public monies are spent, and the larger question of their justification in the first place. 

Another annual cultural bunfest staged by another Asian ethnic group was of momentary interest in this regard a short while back, where members of the community themselves insisted to TheMagpie that some of the council grant money (also $25,000) somehow found its way into a festival organiser’s backyard in the form of a private swimming pool.

As it stands, these grants are no more than crude and blatant vote-buying exercises by the incumbent Walker Street gang of the day. And there is no record available to the public or the council about how the money is actually utilised.

But, unsurprisingly, there wasn’t the smallest whimper from those present at Wednesday’s meeting about the grant needing oversight. 

After the approvals had skated through, various other bits of business were handled and the meeting started wrapping up with the usual free kick all councillors enjoyed, plugging themselves in the guise of praise for some recent or forthcoming event their division. But The Magpie was astounded when Mayor Dametto felt he had. to address a matter mentioned only in The Nest (no one else would dare,) so the Magpie was clearly the unmentioned target audience for the comment.

“I just might add – umm – note – umm –  noting the high level of interest in the topic around funding for the India Fest. I just want to add our support for the Townsville home grown India Fest and the community that has over the years put this together. It’s a great show of culture, vibrancy, food, spices and everything else you could think (about) India. What I can say is I’m happy to support the $25,000 recommendation, noting that the organisation’s prior year of event surpluses, healthy cash reserves and also a strong capacity that is contributed to the event and their ability to attract good sponsorship this year. We want to make sure we are supporting events  but we also want to make sure that events like India Fest and other community events can find ways to be self-sustainable. On that basis, I am satisfied with that recommendation”.

Hang on, can we have that again, please. I’m happy to support the $25,000 recommendation, noting that the organisation’s prior year of event surpluses, healthy cash reserves and also a strong capacity that is contributed to the event and their ability to attract good sponsorship this year. We want to make sure we are supporting events  but we also want to make sure that events like India Fest and other community events can find ways to be self-sustainable. 

‘Healthy cash reserves’, eh?  Good sponsorship?  Event surpluses, whatever that means?  So by your own words, Nick, it sounds like the deservedly popular India Fest has become admirably self-sustainable. So why do you support an event which you yourself say is profitable with a cash grant of ratepayers money? In these circumstances, even in-kind would be questionable. Seems you really must address the requirement for financial oversight of this grant. Surely your good mate, a senior Fest organiser,  Nick Attam will be eager to give you an ‘independent’ report on the good uses it was put to … but Mr Attam should be advised that ‘preserving our healthy cash reserves’ is not an acceptable use, so think of something else.

Anyway Mr Mayor, you’ve given all and sundry multi-cultural groupings who want to have a ratepayer-subsidised prance in the park the green light to cop a similar grant, and you’d better think up a bloody good reason if you knock any of them back. Otherwise you might be accused of  favouritism and even howls of racism.

Revisited But Not Reheated … The Bulletin Strange Revival Of A Done And Dusted Story

Strange because there wasn’t a single new fact in the re-hash. On July 16, we read this story.

The guts of it was that because a big unit development on Ross River Road was canned by the council because the DTMR refused to allow direct access  onto Ross River Road on safety and congestion grounds. The only alternative was an equally unsafe, flood prone laneway. Bit of huffing and puffing all round by councillors, but that was that, brisbane had spoken.

But last Thursday,  three weeks and two days after the above story, we were treated to this rehash … at least it was rewritten … but didn’t contain a single new fact of any import whatsoever … in fact, none really .

Now, The ‘Pie has two theories why this happened, if we are willing to discount the obvious one of a sloppy cock-up.  It appears it was a deliberate repeat because of the new headline and a bit of a rewrite of the same facts.

The first theory, and most likely, is evident if you note the emphasis of ‘blame’ – as to just who appears responsible –  in the two different headlines. The initial one in July  implied it’s the council’s fault, while the second one paints the DRMR as the villains.  It behoves an editor to always favour the locals over Brisbane if one wants to stay in good odour on the cocktail and dinner party circuit of Townsville’s Nescafe society, so perhaps a call from Walker Street might be the reason for the reappearance.

But The ‘Pie likes his second theory best, simply because he loves making up this fairyfloss. Knowing that Slick Nick Dametto  is the Premier’s bitch in Townsville, maybe our mayor made a call to Brissy, then The Kid made another call within the government ranks,  so perhaps soon we’ll hear that the DTMR has had a change of heart and the much needed unit development can get access to RRR and thus go ahead. Vote winner all round (because everyone loves bashing public servants).

But it’s always good to know the paper is familiar with its coverage area.

Or was it another spelling error, and they meant the poor lady was cooking bagels?

But the downtrodden old Astonisher cannot catch a break. One of the arcane warnings of the newspaper layout craft is the danger of special interest inserts being slipped into a double page spread, and creating unwanted humour. This is because only half of headlines, stories and photographs are immediately visible until the insert is removed.  This was the problem that caused of the most ironic headline in this tottering newspaper last Friday.

Would it be too snide to suggest it was so appropriate that the headline appeared next to a horse’s arse.

Think The Proposed New Laws Restricting Betting Advertisements Will Fix The Gambling Problem ? Wanna Bet?

Like age limited social media access, the feds are about to pass yet another law that will be difficult if not impossible to police … the proposed labyrinthian maze of restrictions on gambling ads on TV and radio  – online seems to have been put in the too hard basket.

This is nothing less than political cowardice writ large – deliberately refusing to accept the glaringly obvious solution to the damage of inane betting advertisements, especially to younger impressionable viewers and listeners.

JUST SIMPLY BAN ALL ADS FOR GAMBLING SITES.  EVERYWHERE. The whole lot, all gone the way of cigarette advertising. And it’s a solution that will not affect the bottom of line of either the government, or the egregious betting industry itself, no matter what they say.

One of the biggest bullshit arguments from the industry is that much of the betting money would go off shore. Which maybe be true but so what? Just about all but the TAB are either American or British , with many ethnic groups the target of niche home country outfits.  But they would all keep operating in Australia, why wouldn’t they? And since the wagered money is invariably lost by many to a few, it doesn’t circulate in the Australian economy in any meaningful way, and ends up offshore anyway.  No one in the industry would lose their job, except the ones which will fall to the march of AI, which is already happening in the industry.  And there’s no reason government revenue would dip significantly, but there would be an offset in a lowering of cost demands on health, crime and even homelessness.

]The gambling scourge will not and cannot be stopped – making it go underground by outlawing it, even if possible , would create a far more damaging set of dangers – but coming generations can be protected from the most predatory practices of the grimy corporate low lifes who trade in it.  That approach worked for smoking, and there is absolutely not a single argument that it won’t work for this equally damaging social cancer.

A footnote:  Come the revolution and The Magpie’s the boss, the very first thing he’ll do is ban outright all poker machines. Any government that argues it isn’t sustainable with pokie taxes means this country really is in need of a complete reset. Hard to imagine how, but a party of David Pocock clones would be a good start.

A Good Start In America Would Be A Party Of Decent Human Beings.

Difficult to grasp just how far the United States has fallen under the evangelical ultra right wing ethos of Trump.  For some years now, there seems to have been a daily acceptance of some outrage as the new normal. But there are signs that a tipping point is rapidly approaching, which will hopefully be reflected in the coming midterm elections.  Whatever the outcome, it will be the Orange gangster in the White House who will be at the centre of any outcome.

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That’s the week,  don’t forget to check in daily with comments,  you’ll see a lot there not available elsewhere, and you can have your say.

The link to give a financial helping hand – much needed to keep the Nest aloft – is below.

Til next week.

”

But the paper wasn’t shy in using race baiting in a deliberately deceitful,  beat-up story for another tedious ABC-bashing load of flapdoodle.

All in all, just a standard week for the Astonisher, with the obligatory headline cock-up,  alternative spellings of the name of someone who appeared in two seperate stories, and a majorly subediting lapse sure to get  our headkicking deputy premier offside.

Plus a few laughs from around the place,  including the week’s in America through the eyes of its cartoonists.

The bills associated with publishing the Nest keep arriving with annoying regularity, so a helping hand via a donation would be greatly appreciated … to maintain its total independence, the Nest will always be free, and free of advertising. The donate button is at the bottom of the blog. Thanks.

You Said It, Mr Miles –  Smiley’s Spectacular Self-Own

There must surely be a few minders wondering ‘What the hell was he thinking?’ when they read this story this week.

Clever – just what victims of crime wanted to hear, you’re going to make a list.  FFS.

The gist of this gossamer thin load of horsefeathers was this in the story about Miles Budget Reply speech in Townsville.

Mr Miles accused ministers of exploiting crime statistics for political spin and promised to strip ministers of their control over crime data.

“I think the public’s really starting to tire of being told crime is fixed when their experience isn’t that,” Mr Miles said.“We’ve caught the government three times now manipulating statistics to try to make it look better.

“That’s why we announced we will create an independent community safety statistics bureau that reports to the parliament that everyone can trust, and that we can be sure isn’t being manipulated by one side of politics or the other.” 

Mate, are you listening to yourself?  If you’re so indignant  about crime statistics being used for political spin, why are you doing EXACTLY that with this announcement –  without any evidence, challenging crime statistics for political spin?  Especially when you’re calling out the government only ‘on suspicion’, without a shred of supporting evidence . (Hey, you might be right, but you actually need to prove it for credibility. Anyway, that’s beside the point here.)

Being a gormless dunce is one thing, but making an even bigger dunce of yourself takes you into deeper territory of goofdom.  And just to bolster that blunt assessment, just how did you work out that people who have their homes broken into, cars hijacked,  and store staff threatened by mostly drugged fuelled losers want to hear that -by gum, you’ve got the answer –   we’ll make a list of these neer-do-wells, that’ll show ‘em.

FFS, mate, seriously?  People are hurting, alarmed, dismayed, frightened and above all, feeling abandoned by politicians of all stripes with their spin, lies and their ineffective, self interested  political cowardice. Why don’t you, instead of your little listicle – or better still in addition to it –  tell us just what you would do to sort out this low class of mongrels infesting and destabilising our society.? Maybe promising mandatory NO BAIL for certain crimes, and buy and build places like the Covid-era Wellcamp facilty in Toowoomba (built is record time by the Wagner Family along with their airport). Solution to the crime epidemic is never going to be cheap, but balanced against that is the existing social and economic cost this thugocracy s is causing us – so it would possible to priortise a program to build places like Wellcamp  and put out the welcome mat for ALL these cretins, who don’t leave until they’ve had their day in court.   Or how about passing laws to keep soft cock magistrates and judges in line with community expectations?

In any parliamentary democracy – there’s a few left – it is always the Opposition’s duty to oppose – but at a guesstimate,  at state and federal level, 80% of useful and what could be productive even cooperative effort is sacrificed to sniping, bitching, lying and clever put-down slogans dissing the policies and personalities of the other side  and never once having any reasoned argument of alternatives.

No wonder the simple-minded unworkable solutions of One Nation have attracted so many, and make it a disaster-in-waiting of a very different kind.

This Is Just Stupid

The first rule of politics is to learn how to count. And you do your  basic maths through surveys, polls and data about voting intentions and the reasons behind those intentions so you can find policies that can move the numbers in your favour. 

It is this immutable rule that makes this story last Tuesday one of the most inanely stupid and crass bits of beat-up bullshit to ever be invented by the current reigning champions in the field. 

Quote: A prominent North Queensland community leader has blasted the ABC and southern politicians for treating migrant communities like cheap political pawns instead of individual Australians.

Multicultural Queensland Advisory Council member Nick Attam warned against treating new Australians as a monolithic block, arguing political parties must engage with individuals rather than cultural groups.

Mr Attam, who is also the editor of national publication The Indian Sun and a driving force behind India Fest Townsville, launched the blistering attack following an ABC Insiders broadcast in which panellists appeared to reduce more than one million Indian Australians to a mere electoral strategy.Unquote.

Not only is the basic premise utter codswallop – that polling researchers, political parties, and ergo sociologists should ignore known and proven voting tendencies in ethnic communities in favour of some impossible Quixotic notion of ‘individual treatment’ for polling purposes  –  but it turns out this rot is driven by a barely hidden News Ltd agenda of carefully targeted and – as usual – unfounded ABC bashing.

So first let’s look at the thin gruel on which this nonsense is based …  apparently based entirely on a single question by Insiders host Patricia Karvelas about Albanese’s election strategy – “He wants to make all of those Indian Australians his voters, right?”  And it’s a foundation that the Bulletin story itself makes even more flimsy, with the next sentence …

” This was followed by a discussion about how the diaspora was being targeted for political gain.”

A lively give and take which any reasonable viewer would expect. 

But reporter Andrew Mackaysmith isn’t in the reasonable realm, so he rounded-up Mr Attam to have a go at ‘em, so as to speak, with some well rehearsed sophisms to paint the one million Australians of Indian heritage as victims of an uncaring political system. (Oh, if only there were a Modi in charge, eh?) And his impossible demand of individual treatment for them all.

Now,  while Mr Attam’s idealistic bromides  could be accepted as obvious universal truths about equality, dignity and so forth, they actually had absolutely no bearing on the ABC matter. And when Mr Mackaysmith asked the ABC for comment (apparently no one anywhere else was even mildly interested),  a spokesperson sent him away with the flea in his ear that ‘ analysing migrants by their background was completely normal. Analysis of voting trends across different migrant communities is a common part of political commentary in Australia.”

Bit fuckin’ obvious, isn’t it, Andy?

But Mr Mackysmith (is that really a name?) lives by the mythical motto never fuck up a story with facts,  and breathlessly described Mr Attam’s mild inanities as a ‘savage backlash’ and a ‘blistering attack’.

Oh, purleeese, mate. The outrage, of this Townsville Bulletin special,  far from being a national cause du jour, would’ve spread all the way from maybe the Upper Ross to … hmmm … maybe as far as the Lower Ross.

Mr Attam’s contrived bleatings are all the more laughable when it is from a man who is editor of the Indian Sun, a monthly print and digital e-magazine  catering to in its own words  – ta da – Indian Australians. 

… and this ….

‘ … leading voice for the Indian community’?!?  What, just one voice for a whole community? What happened to the individual treatment you demand of pollsters, that’s hardly treating your targeted audience as individuals free of group think and self-interested solidarity. Or voting intentions.

But as a budding Mumbai Murdoch,  Mr Attam is on the right track with what look like massaged readership figures. 

But hey Nick, in the spirit of journalistic solidarity, here’s a idea for a story from The Magpie.

Not so long ago, there were some difficult questions asked – but unanswered – around the TCC table about annual grant money for local events, and prominent among the big ticket items was the Townsville IndiaFest. Seems much of the grant – what was it, $25,000 of ratepayers money  – wasn’t properly accounted for and a big chunk inexplicably was missing. Some councillors were concerned that ratepayer funds had ended up in – err – improper places. You could use your resources at the India Sun to launch an ‘blistering’ investigation into the alleged missing rupees, creating a ‘savage backlash’.

This should be a shoo-in scoop for you, the Bulletin won’t be touching it.

And besides, you have a head start, being, as the Bulletin says’ the driving force behind Townsville’s India Fest’. You’d be able to get to the bottom of this pretty quickly. If you ever wanted to.

All In All, Another Floundering Week For The Bulletin

Oddly enough, it was the Bulletin’s Weekend edition which cast some doubt on Mr Attam’s identity. In a story promoting the colourful fun of India Fest,  they published this pic of pollies, VIPs and organisers, with the caption giving one of the organisers a nuclear aspect of ‘Attom’.

Bombed out again, Astonisher. Funny how we trust all that word salad of names are correct but the one you got wrong was the shortest and simplest. Oh. well.

But that was small potatoes in the cockup area.  Iditor Jill Poulson might have got a please explain from the chief headkicker and Brutus-in -waiting Jarrod Bleijie over a matter reported in comments during the week.

Iditor Jill Poulson probably got a gruff ‘please explain from Brisbane … if anybody reads the Bulletin down there.

But getting it wrong … and obscure … in headlines is the Bulletin speciality, so locals might have wondered about this strange headline. Was it a drive-in brothel sold for a poultice?

Probably a victim of spellcheck, since the required word is Belrowes, well known to The Magpie and has never been, to his knowledge,  in the running to be beloved.

Well, at least they didn’t call it iconic.

Meanwhile, Victoria Gets A New Premier

Jacinta Allen was turfed out by her own Labor Government, in light of polling numbers ahead of a November election suggesting  she was about as popular as a Vegemite pizza in America. Her downfall was fuelled by spectacular cost blowouts of major infrastructure projects in the billions, and the repeated extension of completion dates going from next year now into the 2030s.

Maybe not of great interest anywhere else much, but it did give those lads at the Shovel a couple of golden moments of hilarity.

Talk about scathing backlashes!! 

But Extensions And Cost Blowouts Are Also Problems For Another Leader.

Americans now live in fear of Vietnam revisited, another ‘forever war’ with the Iran inanity now firmly in bloody stalemate. One of the reasons The ‘Pie increasingly hates Iran is that their dogged resistance to the attacks from the world’s biggest terrorist regime is making him barrack for them.  Trump’s chickens really are coming home to roost, but it looks like its a roost he shares.

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Enough now, The ‘Pie is retiring to his virginal couch, as Mills and Boon are fond of calling  the old farter.  Jump into comments anytime you like about anything you like – or don’t like.  The donation link for much needed financial support for the Nest is below. Til next week.

Genius!! Hanson Solves Overcrowded Gaol Crisis: ‘If You Don’t Like It, Just Leave.’  “If it works for women trapped in domestic violence, why can’t inmates donate their space for others?” she seems to reasonably ask. As its leader continues her life-long wrestle with English, The ‘Pie takes a crack at analysing One Notion’s temporary rise in popularity. Let’s hope the established parties are quick learners.

Did you know that cities hosting the Olympics can petition for a one-off inclusion of a non-Olympic sport for their Games? (Breakdancing, anyone?) The ‘Pie has a few suggestions for Brisbane. Have you got any?

And too much bang for their bucks? Americans are dismayed to learn that the toddler terrorist’s  Iran tantrum has just ka-chinged up a $37billion bill. So far. Now there are signs unrest is growing, as Americans catch up with the rest of the world saying they’ve had enough. Better late than never, as our regular US gallery tells the story.

Plus a thigh slapper featuring this week’s British Prime Minister.

If you can offer some much needed help with Nest finances, you can do so by hitting the donate button at the bottom of the blog. It will be greatly appreciated.

Seriously, It Must Again Be Asked: What The Fuck Is Up With This Man?

RUOK, Troy?

It’s not that Troy Thompson is publicly musing about whether he will nominate to run for Townsville Council’s Division One vacancy, although that’s weird enough in itself. No, it is that in his musing in a social media post the FB equivalent of War and Peace, he openly promises council chamber disruption, legal challenges and disharmony if he makes it back to Walker Street. If you’re of a mind to, you can read here, but The ‘Pie will just deal with a few matters therein.

This is not going to be some alarmist pile-on of a known crook, it is the hesitation of reporting this situation that may draw accusations that The Magpie is mocking the afflicted. But Thompson is really mocking himself, while at the same time mocking those he seeks to represent. It really is deeply disturbing that someone who is counting on voters’ amnesia (and good luck with that, me old shyster) decides to remind them precisely of the destructive, costly and open lying that ended his previous ill-starred tenure. 

And all with an emotionally triggering photograph.

But judge for yourself from these excerpts from his ‘manifesto’. Let’s start with this prize bit of sophistry.

The past two years have played out very publicly.

There have been headlines, allegations and plenty of opinions.

From the very beginning, I have refuted every allegation made against me, and that position has never changed.

People are entitled to their opinions.

The facts, however, remain unchanged.

There were no criminal charges.

There were no convictions.

There were no court findings against me during my time in office.

The CCC report is a public document. It is not a court finding.

I’ll leave it there.

You would just love to leave it there, chum, but The ‘Pie won’t. It’s clear your first lie is that you have ‘refuted’ everything. One is entitled to expect a basic understanding of English from their aspiring representatives, but you clearly do not know the difference between ‘deny’ (a personal opinion)  and  ‘refute’ (proving that an allegation is false).

So you have refuted nothing. All you have done is ‘deny’ the allegations and even denied the proven lies you told the electorate about your Army service, your non-existent uni degrees and your totally false claims of being a cancer sufferer.

You were a crook then, Troy, and you remain one now, because you won’t even acknowledge – in the face of all empirical evidence – that you did anything wrong, it was apparently the fault of others, critics and dark forces in lived in the rafters and came at you in the night..

Moving on, there is then this further bit of self-promoting hucksterism. 

The next Division 1 councillor will have less than two years remaining in this council term.

There won’t be much time to learn the role. Experience matters.

As Mayor, I wasn’t responsible for one division, I had to understand the entire organisation.

The budget, the debt, the legislation, infrastructure planning, governance, how decisions are made, how reports are written, where money is spent and when difficult questions need to be asked.

That experience doesn’t disappear because you’ve left office.

It stays with you.

You arrogant goose. You understood governance, legislation?  Two areas that were primarily responsible for you being shit-canned last time. You think threatening to physically assault the CEO is how things work?  A Crime and Corruption Commission investigation uncovered about 9000 WhatsApp messages between  you and an adviser plotting against council staff, including threats of physical violence against the chief executive officer and councillors.

In one message exchange, one of your sovereign citizen advisers (adviser said that they should kick the chief executive in the balls and punch councillors in the guts. And you didn’t reprimand them, advising them that this was contrary to good governance and certainly against state legislation. Or was it Stephen Lane, that sort of thing is about his speed, just ask Les Walker.

Outside council, do you think it is any sort of OK governance for an aspiring public representative to unsuccessfully attempt to have this blog hacked and disabled because of criticism of you? 

You have clearly learnt nothing from your ‘experience’,  Troy, which was much more instructive personally than you care to talk about. And suggesting no one else could take on the role of a councillor as adequately as you could smacks of insult, arrogance and further ambitions beyond divisional representation.

“I’ll continue asking difficult questions about unnecessary spending, excessive bureaucracy, consultants and projects that don’t represent value for money”.

Presumably questions beyond the borders of Division One, but The ‘Pie seems to remember you telling councillors during your brief stint in the mayoral chair that they should stick to their divisional work and leave the bigger stuff to yourself. 

Certainly, those questions you pose need to be asked, but in the context of accepted good governance and respect, not in an asinine mostly ill-informed manner to further personal ambition. And further the ambitions of your shadowy supporters, the mental cripples and emotional hunchbacks in the My Place sovereign citizen lala land.

Give it a miss, Troy, give Townsville a bloody break, mate. And give yourself one, too, and get some serious help.

Liar, Liar, Hair On Fire … Calling Out Hanson’s Deliberately Targeted DV Rant

For a woman challenged by the English language – as exemplified by her now famous ‘please explain’, asking her 60 Minutes interviewer to explain what xenophobia meant – Pauline Hanson’s literacy hasn’t improved much. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t know exactly what she’s doing. 

In a carefully planned strategy, probably thought up by her noisome pet gnome, her posturing chief of staff James Ashby, Hanson did a fine job of deliberate rage farming and publicity reaping with her comment that domestic violence is a ‘two way street’. By any measure, that meant she was saying ‘provocation was justification’ – provocation meaning a woman standing up for individual rights of safety and individuality. 

You couldn’t find a better example of victim blaming. The storm of indignation at this shallow callousness was swift and universal, so Hanson next day waffled backwards, saying her words were taken ‘out of context’, what she was suggesting was that if women didn’t like the response to a demand for personal respect, just leave. 

Problem solves, eh, simples, no, as the Russian meerkat says? But that’s not context, that’s a lame attempt to walk back a statement in the face of criticism, it is a favourite political go-to when caught out. It was unmistakably victim blaming. Although quite a few of them won’t be concerned by this … they’re dead.

Looking closely at the whole episode, The ‘Pie is convinced this whole thing was no mistake, and not – to use the clumsy modern term – ‘a misspeak’.  One Notion’s political navigators had apparently picked up on the populist front bar mantra of men as victims, entrapped by woke anti-bloke rules that gave women in the home power – hell, even equality  -with them.  This allowed scheming females to push some poor blokes to the limit with nagging, whingeing and legal threats, fair dinkum, some of ‘em really needed a clip around the ear, or a thump or two to keep ‘em in line.

This played directly to a cohort of valuable support for One Nation’s populist agenda, with a surprisingly wide range of ages, from the generational sneer of ‘the place has gone to the dogs, not like the old days’ to the more recent rise of the disaffected young male youth influenced by the likes of the Tate brothers.

From this low social bar was born Hanson’s ‘two way street’ which in effect was saying to victims , 95% who are women, to cop it sweet or fuck off. From home, safe shelter and often children. A deliberate simple-minded philosophy from a devious mind.  For in just those three words ‘two way street’ lay a bonanza of publicity and criticism that at its core would play to exactly the audience Hanson is dangerously courting.

Hanson’s rise in popularity is a result of the smug complacency and tin ear of the mainstream parties, where social engineering and corporate control of power have crossed an unacceptable line.  One Nation has been  a useful as a reality check for the current political system, but are they listening.  Hanson’s half truths and overreach often blur a legitimate core message clearly expressing the issues of concern to a wide swath of the electorate, but she can only name the problem, not any coherent answer.  are the main stream parties finally listening, and are they willingly  or unwillingly ready to start listening?  As they say, there’s nothing like being due to be be shot in the morning to concentrate the mind.  And shot they will be if they don’t start litening.

But endorsing domestic violence will never be accepted, legally or informally,  by the vast majority of decent Australians of any background.

Is Dwarf Throwing About To Make A Temporary Comeback?

During the week, The ‘Pie was reminded that Olympic host cities/countries can petition the Olympic management to include a particular non-Olympic sport for their Games only.  It is usually to highlight a localised sport, and not intended as a permanent inclusion in the accepted list of sports which greed has now expanded to the point of diluting and devaluing the Olympic cachet.  

So will the Queensland Government seek to have a uniquely Queensland ‘sport’ included in the 2032 economic disaster heading our way? And if so, what?

The Gold Coast was home to dwarf throwing back in the day, and although that has since fallen foul of the fun police, a resurgence might be argued for the run-up and participation of the Brisbane Games. The dwarf employment situation is a bit dire at the moment, especially since upskirting has been outlawed, so perhaps an argument could be made for an Olympic interlude, mi’lord?

But there are plenty of other possibilities that could reflect our major preoccupations around here, although some might be lost in translation. Like ‘Passing The Buck’ might be vetoed in Paris on the grounds of mistaken animal cruelty and Australia’s paucity of a reindeer population. Similarly, our popular pastime of ‘Punching Down’ might be misinterpreted as an unpleasant variation involving dwarfs who refuse to be thrown.

Niche sports pose problems, too, like ‘Evading The Question’, (unfortunately, probably impractical, because the field would be restricted to politicians, their staff, and husbands who come home at 2am with lipstick on their collars). 

No, The ‘Pie thinks a better chance of inclusion would be to devise a variation on a traditional sport. He rather favours two track and field events with entrants restricted to neo-nazis, Jehovah Witness door knockers, My Place Sovereign Citizens and American Presidents. The events would be Catching The Javelin and Heading The Shot.

Getting The Message In America

For the current social media cleverness, there is nothing that carries a message’s impact quite like the old fashioned airing of a grievance in a prominent public place. This is an idea that has been rejuvenated in the USA, and the messages are getting savagely to the point. Overpass bridges are proving to be great places to have one’s say. Like this one in Ohio.

And this one in California, referring to the mid term elections where the Republicans might not have the necessart numbers.

The nation’s cartoonists continue to have their say, too.

Meanwhile, In London ..

Clever.

And Finally, Oh, For Font’s Sake.

Seen in a local newsagents.

No doubt, Uncle agrees.

…………

Bit rough and ready, still getting into a routine. Another week down, but  plenty more to keep us on our toes. Don’t forget comments run 24/7, have your say on anything that buncheth thy panties. Donations to help with Nest finances also run 24/7, the necessary button to click is below.

But News Ltd needs to get its dough from anywhere it can, so they have decided to try bamboozle an impoverished pensioner out of a couple of grand or so … they demand The ‘Pie pay up for what they mistakenly think is copyright naughtiness. The Magpie explains to them the error of their ways and why they may GFT.

Has Annandale gone out of control? The Townsville Council warns of unprecedented wild times in this usually staid suburban oasis.

And what a load of bollocks … a new policy of “man jabs’ for droopy US defence personnel aims for peak performance … on both the battlefield or the bedroom, it would seem.

The Nest remains forever free, but a helping hand with finances is always welcome and always needed. You can lend a hand using the donate button at the bottom of the blog. Thanks. Now onward.

What A Dishonest Load Of Old Cobblers …

… in this case, literally.

The ‘Pie was quite taken with an online shoe offer he spotted while cruising the Bulletin digital sites … the old bird probably succumbed to curiosity having seen the ad  multiple times over the week and as late as this weekend, it was/is all over the paper’s digital sites.

But as is his habit of checking out any online offer, imagine his surprise when he found this.

FFS, there’s even an exhaustive YouTube report on it. Click here to view.

Those two blokes in the photo sure aren’y Chinese and they sure aren’t cobblers, although they are fronting a site that is nothing if not a whole load of it.

Yup, ‘Turner and Lawson’ turn out to be a Chinese knock-off shop that has attracted a barrage of complaints ranging from shoddy goods and financial shenanigans to simply taking the money and running, providing nothing.  That ‘Legacy Sale’ nonsense  was a particularly nasty touch, given the meaning of the word Legacy in Australia and hinting at a beneficial connection.

The Bulletin, or more likely the News Ltd Holt Street counting house gnomes, cannot plead ignorance of this disgraceful oversight … if it took a techno klutz like The Magpie less than a single minute to learn this, even the office copyboy could have found it faster. And even if they didn’t know, they should have,  as a duty to protect their readers from scams. Yes, yes, we know, it is a bit of a stretch considering much of the paper itself is a fraudulent scam, but still … wonder how many of their readers got caught and did their dough. Be sure to let the Bulletin know if you got caught.

One supposes an apology might be in the offering … why not, iditor Jill Poulson is getting to be  a dab hand at grovelling acknowledgment of a string of cock-ups. (That said, full points to her for actually doing so,  rather than the usual News Ltd silent arrogance.)

Copy Rights And Wrongs

As The ‘Pie gets older, natural attrition thins out his circle of friends, and social interaction shrinks accordingly. Making new friends isn’t easy for us old folk as we totter through the closing chapters of our own personal novels. . For many, it’s a time of shame, blame and regret, not much to remember, too much to forget. Even the sweet natured ‘Pie has been reduced to highlighting his day with long deliberation of which filling for the lunch sandwich,  or trying to remember every week the Woolies aisle for the Iced VoVos and trying to recall why he still looks at pretty girls. (That last one he just can’t put his finger on, which is maybe just as well, if he did there might be trouble with our modern laws.)

So it was with delight that he received the following diversion from his daily routine as he experienced an unfamiliar glow of being appreciated. Well, not ignored, anyway.

Company: Townsville Magpie
Attn: Malcolm Weatherup
Contact details: email hidden; JavaScript is required
Date: 15/07/2026

Dear Malcolm,
We are writing to you regarding Townsville Magpie’s unauthorised use of uploading several
print articles from our publication, namely from the Townsville Bulletin to your website. The
work is copyright material for which Nationwide News Pty Ltd controls the rights. We have
captured the content below in Schedule 1.
Our records show we have not granted Townsville Magpie permission to use our work in this
instance, which under the Copyright Act 1968 constitutes a copyright infringement. News
publishers commission and publish content at great expense, and it’s important that we
protect the value of this content by addressing infringements.
If you believe you hold a valid licence for use of this content, please send us evidence of this
as soon as possible.
In the event that you do not hold a valid licence, we have calculated the cost of your
retroactive licence to be $2500 +GST for the use of our work in the manner displayed in
schedule 1.
This licence fee legalises your past usage, but requires you to remove the work from your
website immediately. This takedown requirement also applies to all other instances where
our content has been uploaded to your website.
Please contact us soon as possible by acknowledging receipt of this email to make a
payment. If we do not hear from you by 29/07/2026 , 2 weeks from now – we do reserve the
right to take legal action without further notice.
We look forward to hearing from you.

Kind Regards,

Katherine Hong
Licensing Account Executive

Nationwide News Pty Limited | ABN: 47 007 871 178 | 2 Holt Street, Surry Hills NSW 2010, Australia 1

The ‘Pie cannot tell you how chuffed he was to attract the interest of a young lady in faraway Sydneytown. So although there were some deficiencies of fact, logic and law in the missive from  Ms Hong (I now think of her only as my friend Kath), The ‘Pie decided to offer her both advice and encouragement during this learning curve so early in her blossoming career.

My Dear Ms Hong,

First, allow me to say what a delight it is to have the opportunity to interact with you, since I have always been a great supporter of success stories  of Australia’s multi-cultural policy. After all, few can boast your meteoric rise, as your Linkedin profile tells us, from barista and chief napkin folder at a small Redfern cafe nine short years ago, through the demanding labours of office receptionist to the executive floor of the most powerful media company in the land and your own cubicle boasting the title of Licensing Account  Executive. Adding to this satisfying picture of Australia’s wide social meld in the fact that your new organisation is owned by an American. As we say, only in Australia, eh?

So well done, congratulations.

But as always with newish positions ,there are occasions for further learning on the job. And it seems this is one such occasion  from which you can benefit. I’m here to help. 

You see, Kath (you don’t mind if I call you Kath, do you?) you will probably have to flick-pass this straight back to whatever naughty gnome in the legal department put you up to these erroneous and baseless demands.

I say this for two reasons: first, your demands for the withdrawal of published material are not supported by Australian copyright law. Now, I know a gal on the corporate fast track can’t be across everything all at once, so it is in the spirit of encouragement, rather than disparagement, that I point out the following regarding copyright ‘exceptions’.

So, in summary, Kath, Australian copyright law contains over 90 exceptions. The most common allow you to use copyrighted material without permission if it falls under “fair dealing” (e.g., research, study, criticism, review, parody, satire, news reporting).

You appear not have made yourself familiar with the general gist of this weekly effort and have therefore misinterpreted the copyright rules regarding creative writing and intellectual property, concepts rarely if ever associated with The Daily Astonisher as we fondly call the Bulletin. It will come as a great surprise to a great many people in this neck of the woods if you wish to argue that I have purloined  these articles in order to praise them,  gain some financial benefit and perhaps some reflected glory for myself. Difficult to imagine what gain there would be for a blog that is both free, and free of advertising.

I know News Ltd likes to consider itself beyond criticism,  but the law begs to differ.

Three of the named articles are clearly – for separate reasons –  for the purposes of highlighting the piss poor journalism of the Townsville Bulletin, particularly in terms of the one dimensional bias, the phobia about steadfastly refusing to ask questions for context, adopting a role in the community of ‘player’ instead of ‘balanced observer’, sloppy grammar and claiming exclusivity over regurgitated rather than rewritten media releases from various outside sources.  The fourth is an informal obituary of a personal friend, and again you run into trouble with the vagaries of Australian copyright law. Historical facts, times and dates constitute a large part of the article and cannot by law be copyrighted. Anyway, it is difficult to imagine that the Bulletin can object to the further dissemination of the paper’s fine tribute to a much loved businessman and community stalwart.  After all, the Bulletin keeps honking on about how it is ‘all for us’.

The second reason for our disparity of views, Kath,  is my deep disappointment and personal hurt with your clearly restrained request for $2500. I’m sure this amount was dictated by other than yourself (I detect that you’re a kindly soul despite your immediate surroundings) and was intended by them as a spiteful personal insult, such is the devaluation of all the hard, selfless hours of hard work I and many others contribute to the Townsville community. I would’ve thought the attention that Holt Street is paying to a humble little regional blog in far away North Queensland would merit a far sterner approach, say, perhaps $25,000 or even (why not?) $250,000.

Oh, wait a minute … oh, dear, Kath,  this wasn’t an error on your behalf, was it? Did you misprint or mishear the requested amount over the cubicle wall and leave out a nought or two? I ask this because you are after all making representations on behalf of a publication which is famous around here for this endearing foible of misprints and cock-ups. If it was your error, don’t get anxious, it will be our own little secret and  I will await a second emailed demand with an amended amount.

But that said, unfortunately, any demand greater than my current bank balance, ($17.86 until the Canberra eagle does its next fortnightly flypast ) or a refusal to accept in lieu my Coles Fly Buy points (currently, 3,250 but I will be doing the weekly shop this afternoon and should bump it to 3,255). I know this will only amount to a hill of beans for your Holt Street counting house, but I feel I should show willing, just to help Rupert out.

With that in mind,  and as a gesture of goodwill, I will save your legal gnomes some billable research hours, and declare I haven’t got a brass razoo  to my name,  living solely on the age pension, with no assets, no property, no credit cards and no offshore account in a foreign tax haven. I now don’t even have a vehicle, my beloved 1997 Corolla finally turned up its tappets after an interstate road trip.

Even with the PBS scheme, the cost of pharmaceuticals for a cancer patient currently in remission takes some clever budgeting which I’m sure even the curious values of the average magistrates court would put ahead of any demands from your gnomes. But it’s their call, so good luck to them.

Hope this has been of assistance to you, Kath.

Remember, my dear, I’m all for you.

Kind Regards, 

Malcolm The Magpie

No Teeth, No Teeth!!! Cried The Corn Dog.

Just when we thought the depths of weird shit had been fully plumbed by America’s Weirdocracy,, along comes the US Whacko of War Department Pete Hegseth ….

Yes, that’s really him.

with a truly demented policy announcement: testing US military personnel – well, the blokes, anyway – for their  testosterone. Those falling below a Big T level of what might suggest an unwillingness to kill total strangers in an overseas country will be offered a free booster shot to get in the mood. The will be at least one exception, Pete H. wouldn’t dare suggest the .Commander in Chief, submit to such a test

Currently the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has not approved any specific testosterone formulations or therapies for use in women, but Hegseth knows if he needs one, all he needs is a quick call to RFK junior Secretary of Health and Voodoo. He’ll immediately come up with a treatment for the gals, no doubt involving the publc hair of raccoons, unicorn droppings and Fanta mixed with Old Infuriator Kentucky Sucking Bourbon. This therapy, in cream form,  will be administered by finger. However, a smarter move regarding the gals would be to ensure female defence members are encouraged to stay on during menopause. The necessary aggression against friend and foe alike could be harnessed for the national good atno increased cost.

It may be that this Hegseth’s ‘big swinging dick’ policy subconsciously spooked his mate the VP J.D. Vance into a scrambled attempt of masculine affirmation,  (a constant challenge for a bloke who habitually wears mascara and eyeliner)..

Speaking on Seth Rogan’s Trump-fluffing  podcast, Vance decided that his manhood was confirmed by his disgust with the way Joe Biden ate ice cream. 

“It’s like they would get him eating ice-cream in the most ridiculous, suggestive way imaginable,” JD ejaculated.

This brought a withering response and further disturbing revelations from the Guardian’s Marina Hyde .

“Is it? Mate, I’m not sure it is. I’m looking at various clips of (Biden eating ice cream) it and he seems to always use his teeth. I mean, I don’t mean to kink-shame, but … Biden’s a biter, JD. Do you … find that suggestive? 

Just as succinctly, another commentator headlined declared ‘Joe Biden eating ice cream makes J D Vance horny.’ But wait, says Ms Hyde, there’s more ….

Vance also revealed he would never eat a corn dog*** in public. Rogan showily didn’t care about doing that for all to see; in fact, he thought it was sad people were “so afraid of anything that looks like a dick”. Over to you, Mr Vice -President. “I try, I try to eat my corn dogs …” floundered Vance. “That’s – that’s between me and my kitchen.” Oh, OK. JD Vance sucks off corn dogs in his kitchen. Tell your friends.”

***corn dog is better known in Australia as a Pluto Pup, which adds a nice hint of bestiality to the Vance response.

It seems in JD’s homophobic world, being the suckee rather than the  …ummm … sucked isn’t a manly thing to do. well, not beyond the boundaries of your own kitchen. But it is easy to understand the politician’s universal conflict between publicity and eating sausage shaped food in public. At least one US  politician, former New York mayor  Bill De Blasio wasn’t worried about snickering public perception. … and he lost a senate bid shortly after this publicity snap a few years ago.

I

But there were other happening that also , in the modern terminology,  sucked during the week.

t’s hard to know what is the America’s greatest loss … the Iranian War or American dignity and presidential credibility. But one thing is certain … any contest about who has the biggest swinging dick in the global stage is ‘no contest’ 

 It’s Trump, of course, because there’s no end to the prick.

For The Record

Vale Oliphant

Adelaide-born Australian, Patrick Bruce Oliphant strode the world stage for more than six decades as one of the world’s most influential, perceptive and bitingly funny political cartoonists. His early professional years in Australia (his first job as a copy boy was with the Adelaide News, which had recently been inherited by a young Rupert Murdoch) eventually gave way to a move to America, where he established himself as the benchmark of his profession.

The much admired man known to the general public only by his surname  (a true mark of fame), Oliphant died at his home in Santa Fe, New Mexico,  during the week.

He was 90.

Many fellow ‘toonists paid elegant tribute to him with farewell messages imitating his unique style..

Annandale … Peyton Place or Jurassic Park?

This mysterious council  sign has suddenly appeared on Yolanda Drive, Annandale , near University Drive,.

But there doesn’t seem to be any reason apparent for such a vague advisory, and no one seems to have asked the council.  The ‘Pie cannot recall ever seeing such a non-specific sign anywhere in Australia.

One baffled local, who has lived in the suburb for nearly 50 years said he had never seen a wild animal on Yolanda Drive. He told The ‘Pie, ” Decades ago I did see a dingo over my back fence and my son got chased by a wild pig where the Annandale Christian School now is. But pigs and dingos disappeared forty years ago as the suburb developed. I can only think the wild animals may be wallabies but they live in the water courses not ever on Yolanda Drive, Indeed I have never seen any road kill at all on Yolanda Drive.”I

Maybe it’s a managerial mistake by the council, and the sign was meant for Walker Street.

In fact it’s so vague, it leaves itself open to much speculation,  most of which inevitably is ribald.  Having once had a mild dalliance in the area many (many many) years ago, The ‘Pie wonders if things have progressed to Annandale becoming  Swingers Central where bored married couples get together to throw off their inhibitions and indulge in licentious activities. Given the age demographic of the old suburb, these parties probably involve a lot of toothless leering while eating ice cream and suggestively nibbling corn dogs.

…………………  

That’s it for another week, but there’s been plenty more to talk about … somehow, there always is. That all important donation button is below if you’re of a mind to help keep The Magpie aloft. ‘Til next time.

Also this week, two matters of wonky timing …. Kevin ‘Rhymes With’ Gill says after 15 years in the job, now is the right time to retire as TEL board chairman – others think 15 years ago would’ve been way better. But Gill needs to answer one vital question before he buggers off … and if he doesn’t, he should be forced to by an official inquiry.

And in the second matter of bad timing, we report on a damaging silence …. our paper with the oft-proven slogan ‘yesterday’s news tomorrow’ has set a record of sorts this weekend, with the Bulletin finally speaking up on a vital issue reported by The ‘Pie FIVE years ago.

Townsville loses a champion quiet achiever ….

Plus ‘toonists are having their usual picnic with the bad tempered toddler with a machine gun in the White house’s Donny’s Day Care Centre.

As the Magpie gradually re-establishes a regular flight pattern, he also has to contend with the considerable costs not just of relocation but also hardware and software updates for the weekly Nest. Any assistance with a donation would be greatly appreciated, and sincere thanks to those who’ve already helped out.  The donate button is at the bottom of the blog. Thanks.

The WTF Of The Week Needs Some Connecting Of Dots

 If anyone still reads the Townsville Daily Astonisher other than the duty-bound ‘Pie (oh the sacrifice, the sacrifice), they might have noticed this item back in May

.

But in one of those small Bulletin miracles, and possibly after some editing ordered by Adam Baille, – or possibly because of some complaints from the pesky public, – a few days ago, the story had a somewhat sanitised, different focus.

But either way,  story wound up with this unequivocal ‘mission statement’ from the tour operator, after mentioning snorkelling and whale watching trips….

“A big one that the locals are really liking is a pub crawl,” Mr Gnocco said. So this is for your fun, energetic, young locals who are crying out for activities to do here in Townsville.

“You can jump on the boat, head over to your first destination on Magnetic Island, have a drink, jump back on the boat and continue around the rest of the island.

Mr Gnocco said the high demand for the pub crawl had brought forward the plans.

“We were going to launch a bit later, but we’ve had that much interest, we’re going to be looking to launch probably in the next month or so,” he said.

“It’ll also be available to hire as well for people looking to do hen’s nights and bucks parties.”

Alert Nest reader H J L suddenly saw some WTF questions that needed answers and some dots that needed connecting, when they emailed:

“The Queensland State Government recently awarded a $300,000 tourism grant to Poseidon Adventures, a company that, among other things, offers pub crawl tours. A few weeks later, the Mayor was allegedly involved in an assault of one of Adam Baillie’s staffers while on a pub crawl tour on Magnetic Island — an incident that presumably involved the same or similar operators.

I think there are some legitimate questions here worth asking:

- What was the basis for granting $300,000 in public money to a company offering pub crawl tourism?
– Who assessed and approved this grant, and what criteria did it meet?
– Is it appropriate for a State Government grappling with serious issues around public health, domestic violence, and alcohol-fuelled crime to be actively funding pub crawl operations?
– And is there any connection between the grant recipient and the pub crawl on which the Mayor’s alleged assault took place?

Even setting aside the alleged assault entirely, the grant alone raises questions about priorities and judgment. Together, they raise something more.”

 Indeed questions are certainly raised, although markedly and typically,  not by the Bulletin.  The ‘Pie adds to HJL’s list.

Was it TEL which made the recommendation to Tourism Queensland to give the grant? It seems so,  so why?

Did our mayor Slick Nick – who sits on the board of Townsville Enterprise – have a hand in this … the dots here being his deep involvement before politics in jet ski hooning with local groups and now his voice in TEL recommendations?  And did any – ahem – ‘considerations’ change hands for the mayoral backing?

One wonders what the Queensland Health Minister Tim Nicholls has to say about the flagrant government funding as encouragement for the  alcohol abuse inherent in the ingrained, if now outdated .tradition of pub crawls? We’ll ask him.

And hen’s nights and bucks parties, for fucks sake? Where the unspoken purpose of getting shit-faced takes on another dangerous dimension when taking place on water. The government is forever warning of the dangerous mix of alcohol and water-related ventures.

None of the above is actually illegal, just ethically questionable by the Brisbane-based  private company  …

BUT THE BOTTOM LINE IS SIMPLE AND OVERRIDING: how does this government justify handing out $300k of public money to buy a boat that will underpin a private for-profit business promoting damaging behaviour? It seems likely that the comnpany’s opening pub crawl event was attended by Dametto and Baille, and  perhaps also contributed our new mayor to go the biff after a tad too much turps. (You’ll also note how the mayoral punch-up has suddenly died in the arse in the Bulletin.)

Adam Baille has not responded to questions put by LSJ, and the Bulletin consistently refuses to engage on the issue.

But the ‘Pie foresees just one serious or even fatal incident involving this booze based enterprise, and there will be a lawsuit seeking a damn sight more than $300k for the government’s wrong-headed involvement in this matter.

Something is deeply wrong here.

Speaking of Unanswered Questions ….Ah, Kevvy, Mate, Before You Go …

So, Mr Mediocrity is parting company with the TEL board he has chaired for the past 15 years. The Bulletin hagiography was so full of sugary insincerity, outright lies and spun fairyfloos it should’ve carried a trigger warning for diabetics.

The ‘Pie wonders if Gill shares Jarrod Bleijie’s barber … they both favour  the ‘standing side-on to a strong wind’ style.

And The ‘Pie was flattered to cop an indirect swipe from iditor Jill Poulson in her editorial of fawning farewell when she wrote:

Never from you, dear lady, you were always more under the dinner table than on top of the issue.

There can be no doubt Gill was tapped on the shoulder, as a first possible sign of a start to a much needed restructure –  at board level at least. But that won’t be of much use unless there is a wider overhaul of strategy and executive staff.

Be that as it may, The Magpie is wondering if Mr Gill, and subsequently TEL management, will be facing some sticky questions about his tenure. To wit: whether he received any unauthorised and possibly illegal remuneration over some of those 15 years for his supposedly unpaid position. Particularly, the last five years.

You see, while Gill has provided comprehensive career info on his Linkedin profile, it stands out like Dolly Parton in a T-shirt on a cold day that he doesn’t say what he’s been doing since he left QAL in September 2020.

This is important, because the board chair position must be a TEL member, and be an active businessman/woman (or politician). It is reasonable to expect the board chair of any business-boosting (well, that’s the aim) organisation would loudly proclaim his involvement in local commerce. But he doesn’t.

However, it’s clear he’s been getting substantial amounts of dosh from somewhere. In May last year, RP Data shows he and his wife bought a 2 bed, 2 bath/2 car pad in the Stanton crest complex for $885,000. Now he, or his missus, may have had a rich relative cark it that put him on easy street, and that wouldn’t be anybody’s business but theirs.  But failing that sort of good fortune or Lotto, Mr Gill would surely need to have some sort of income, and a job that qualifies him for the board chair under TEL rules.And in all that time, and writing about his non-performance on many occasions in that time, The ‘Pie has never heard any information about his non-TEL employment.  And that is. crucial information for two reasons: the TEL Board Chairman is an unpaid position in its charter, and TEL receives copious amounts – indeed most of its income = from the public coffers.

Mr Gill may have a simple an honest explanation  for The ‘Pie’s question, but although he gets upset when mentioned in this blog, he has no right to be indignant about the questions … the community has a right to know, it’s their money in question here.

But Don’t Get The Magpie Wrong On This

Some good people work at TEL, and are deserving of their jobs, but unfortunately they are generally not in the executive ranks. There needs to be a restructure beyond the board to include guidelines for the make-up of the TEL decision makers, their professional qualifications and their publicly published remuneration, and above all the setting of reasonable KPIs if the organisation is to continue receiving three quarters of a million dollars of ratepayers money annually.

A good start to a new dawn for the Dudley Do-Nothings would be to ditch the policy of trying to be everything to everybody. It’s a ploy they currently use to get councils in the region to cough up annual financial support on the highly dubious claim of benefit from TEL campaigns. Some councils … Charters Towers springs to mind … have had heated debates about the value of such grants, noting TEL’s arrogant refusal to meet, or agree to any,  criteria.

Surely, at a population of 200,000+, Townsville is now big enough to merit its own focus from an enterprise group exclusive to the interests of the city. The benefit of a successful Townsville-centric  organisation would automatically flow out into the regions anyway.

We are all aware by now that The ‘Pie slogan for the Daily Astonisher ‘Yesterday’s News Tomorrow’ stopped being a joke years ago, but this weekend, that was upgraded to ‘2021’s news in 2026’.

Compare this from page 9 of this  weekend’s (July 11,2026) Bulletin …

… with this from The Magpie on February 27, 2021

See the whole prescient blog here but let’s revisit just two ‘Hitting The Nail On The Head Gold Medal’ quotes from way back then … First, The ‘Pie said even before the selection was ratified …

…and this from Robbie Katter….

“When I’ve got hospitals being downgraded in Julia Creek and upgrades needed in hospitals throughout the region and dams to be built that can’t be funded because they’re committing money to large social infrastructure projects like (an Olympic Games), well that makes me pretty cranky.”

And here’s Robbie’s killer line, that should be engraved on Anna Palaszczuk’s forehead.

“You might see a slight increase in outback tourism, but that is just nonsense to think the benefit outside south-east Queensland would be commensurate with the imposition it will put on us in the future,” he said.

But the point here is not The Magpie claiming to be a clever clogs, but more to the point, The ‘Pie is asking where the fucking hell was the self-styled champion of North Queensland, the Townsville Bulletin then, and in the intervening years. Where was the self-styled socially moral guardians of the community, or even News Ltd generally,  examining the obvious pitfalls of this personal vanitry project disaster of a dud Premier?  Why no crusade on the looming financial and social disaster for the region, a disaster no longer looming but now fully arrived?

The answer is as simple as it is damning …. the eyes of News Ltd were too dazzled by visions of sparkling waterfalls of advertising dollars to give a tuppeny toss for the interests and well being of the communities they say they ‘are all for.’

Gutless, blinkered self-serving venal hypocrites one and all.

You Couldn’t Meet A Betta Man

Vale Garry Thyer, whom The ‘Pie is proud to name as a friend over the years.

His business acumen and achievements on the national stage with the Betta Electrical group never attracted much attention as it should’ve done,  because Gary shied away from personal publicity. He was an unwavering solid Townsville champion, and was greatly respected by business and loved by his staff.

The Magpie remembers him for a little known talent he would spring on some unsuspecting patron on his occasional visits to Portraits (aka Poesurs) bar in the Exchange Hotel.  o The ever jovial Gary, often accompanied by his ever-vivacious and devoted partner Lisa,  was only of average height but solid and stocky, which disguised his secret ability. Often set up by those of us in the know, Gary could be talked into arm wrestling some unsuspecting and usually much larger cove new to the bar. He never lost, and he he almost always won in jig time.

But such was his laughing, self-deprecating nature, no loser ever took offence, and happily bought the wagered drink.

Gary Thyer was a good man in every sense – in the words of a bygone generation, he was a bonza bloke.

The Magpie offers his sincere condolences to Lisa, and the family.

Our Final Matter This Week Moves From A Champ To A Chump.

Well, it’s fair to say Trump has achieved a remarkable feat, albeit totally unintentionally … he has moved beyond parody.  There’s no joke, jibe or fantasy that could match the reality of this weird and deeply dangerous man child.

But a couple takes from the week  are worthy of a mention.

And the very best of the bunch …

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The ‘Pie is always open to emails with info and matters that you may not want published in comments. Confidentiality is aways guaranteed. So drop any titillating tidbit or blog-leading bombshell to the old bird at email hidden; JavaScript is required

And if you’re of the mind to lend the blog a much-needed helping hand financially, the link to do so is below.

Also this week, a no-brainer that could be an all round win-win for the council and ratepayers next wet season. But it’s so obvious that The ‘Pie worries that he’s missed it, and this cutting edge forward thinking council is on top of the icost saving, property protecting issue.

And again leading with his chin …. although distraught at The Magpie’s enforced break from The Nest, old mate Lighton Smith has wasted no time in re-entering the fray and crossing swords with The ‘Pie.  Resulting with the usual Steggles Award of Egg On Face.

And two of the week’s best grim quips from a largely unfunny  Trumpland to accompany this week’s  small Gallery USA.

The ‘Pie is still settling into what he hopes will be return to a regular routine, but relocation still remains a bit of a whirl. Working on sprucing up the blog, and in readiness, have invested in a recommissioned computer to replace the ageing old war horse that has done the job for 16 years.  But its a bit of a learning curve, so Nesters won’t be noticing anything immediately, and just at the moment, the regularity of a weekly missive can’t be guaranteed. However, The ‘Pie will do his best to meet the usual Sunday morning deadline, and of course, comments are back up and running 24/7, so dive in.   A helping hand with blog finances remains a necessary ask,  especially since The’Pie has taken an unexpected financial hit when he discovered Victoria does not provide rental assistance to pensioners, as Qld does.  So any assistance – which will go on blog related expenses, not rent – will be as always greatly appreciated.  As will emails with any Magpie-worthy info worth the old bird’s attention. I might not be in the immediate locality, but I still know where the bodies of the past 35 years are buried heh heh heh.

What a Brummer!!

Why wouldn’t she be laughing? TEL CEO and perennial underachiever Claudia Brumme.

Since being appointed to the TEL CEO in 2021 as the permanent replacement for Patricia ‘Lil Patty’ O’Callaghan at TEL, the then Ms Brumme-Smith (the Smith bit recently discarded which is a shame since the nickname Ms B-S was so apt) has presided over a primarily publicly funded operation which has been allowed to continue its historical ineffectiveness and unaccountability to this day. She has made a speciality of seeking credibility by clinging to the coattails of the achievements of others.

So what’s behind the sudden frequency of this woman in the news? Are we actually looking at an undeclared election campaign? Maybe, but first, a look at what’s been happening.

With the complicity of the equally inept and mistake prone Jill Poulson, the latest ill-starred editor of the Bulletin, it appears the unelected Ms Brumme has been elevated to the totally undeserved status of community spokesperson. Poulson has afforded her an occasional op ed column in the paper which amounts to a self-promoting albeit dishonest free kick that has yet to say anything substantive or relevant to her position  ….

True … and virtually none of which had anything to do with TEL.

….and apparently at Poulson’s insistence the paper constantly sought out her comment on all manner of stories with only the most tenuous links to TEL, if any at all. More often than not, these are often accompanied with madam voguing  and vamping in various vacuous fashion-plate poses.

In that last one, our gal is with the NSW (yes, NSW!) Treasurer Daniel Mookhey in Sydney at the inaugural Australian Data Centres Power & Water Summit. One can only hope that she is not going to blunder into that growing socially divisive issue of data centres. And certainly not to advocate for one in Townsville,  or Lansdown. But if she does, whose interests does this unelected person represent?

This public visibility in never-repeated and expensive-looking outfits leads one to wonder if Ms Brumme’s lucrative but undisclosed contract, rumoured to be north of $300k per annum, also has an added extra clothing allowance courtesy of the ratepayers’ largesse. (An allowance, BTW to which the Townsville mayor is not entitled …  which could explain the rise to fame of Mayor Mullet’s infamous Michelin Man ‘purple doona’.)

And the Bulletin, as well as Brumme’s own fantasy factory, the TEL media unit, has helped her elbow her way to the fore front, figuratively and literally, like this.

Our Claudy front and centre, holding the only thing she got out of the Canberra jaunt to meet Federal Government underlings.

Now, dunno about you, but The ‘Pie finds something offensive and demeaning about an unelected proven incompetent placing herself literally and figuratively in front of those mayors, that we have for better of worse, actually elected to represent us  She is a figurehead and unaccountable chief apologist for one of the cruellest and entrenched hoaxes on the ratepayers of Townsville, other councils in the area, and the taxpayers generally. She has consistently refused to accept or meet any KPIs on any issue at all, and claims that TEL,  despite its enormous public funds, is a private membership-driven outfit which doesn’t have to meet any disclosure criteria.

Which makes the latest Brumme broadside all the more hilarious in its basic if inadvertent admission of abject failure.

Led by chief advocate Claudia Brumme, the NQ TEL delegation got the bum’s rush in Brisbane in a pre-budget begging bowl session.

The TEL CEO, not helped by a happy snap of the her delegation’s abortive Brisbane visit,  said she was ‘disappointed’ and ….,

So you expected nothing more from a mid-term budget, and got what you expected? FFS, woman.!!  This for  $300k plus per? ‘Disappointed’? Join the bloody club, lady.

A council that continues to throw money at this pretender need to take a hard look at itself. If it doesn’t, the electorate will eventually have had enough and take their own hard look at their councillors.

But There Seems To Be More Than Just This Outrageous Lying Just To Keep Her Job.

Is a political tilt on the horizon?  By the nature of her position, Ms Brumme has had frequent contact with politicians of the day. Could she be a bit star struck and perhaps hope to join Susan McDonald in the Senate?

And she seems of late to be getting some political insights from a dubious source, in the shape of the booze bloomed political former dud Minister for Resources and Critical Minerals ,ex Member for Townsville, Scott Stewart, whom she has known for some time.

(shudder!!)

But that apparently blossoming Stewart friendship , no doubt containing an element of mutual personal consoling over similar changes in their private lives, might be of little use if Claudy is hoping that a leg over will get her  a leg up with Labor.  The ‘Pie is reliably told that our beloved ex-mayor Mullet has recently become quietly active again in branch politics, and she would not take kindly to an upstart trying to muscle in on her cherished ambition of a spot on Labor’s senate ticket. But if any ol’ party will do,  there a few other possibilities for our neophyte pollie.  The Katter Party might find her a slot, considering she has been championing the Katter family’s personal money factory, the Copperstring Project. Or any of the local seats if Crisafulli’s mob fall into disfavour .

Why not, on her current form of self-interest and evasive wordplay,  Claudy would be a perfect fit to join the local Mardi Gras of drongos who have represented us for almost four decades.

Here’s A Suggestion For A Far Better Use Of The $750k  Ratepayers Pour Into The TEL Sinkhole.

In his travels around cyber space, The ‘Pie believes he has come across a brilliant no-brainer for the TCC and its disaster burdened ratepayers.  (Sorry folks, this is a serious bit.) There is a proven way that the days of the perennial scramble for sandbags at council sites when the usual torrential rains threaten could be a thing of the past … householders will have to do no more than go to the their garage or back shed to quickly deploy this brilliant new protection kit against residential and business flooding. At first glance, it seemed like some sort of scam … but, no, it is a very clever recently refined scientific breakthrough in flood control, based on sound principles of physics.

See the simple explanatory video here

https://www.facebook.com/reel/624548263669842

and then you can just google L shaped flood barrier and get a fuller story, there lots of well documented proof that these simple devices work with up to a metre of water. Of course,  big floods will always be with us, but it is the frequent, almost annual sudden downpours where these barriers could come into their own.  Houses like these could have damaged minimised if not completely avoided.

And these typical style of home … and there are literally thousands like it in Townsville and surrounding new suburbs, … would be greatly protected.

In fact, since successive councils have disgracefully allowed so much development on flood plains. new houses should come equipped with the devices.

The advantages for Townsville  and surrounds are so obvious to be laughable.  These barriers  can be stored in. small spaces personally by residents and businesses, and the council can have its own store for wider operation on roads. Stacked away in a space saving corner, they can be quickly and easily deployed to strategically divert those frequent, widespread and damaging minor floodwaters. Because these barriers are reusable, being made of lightweight durable PVC – often recycled materials , another advantage – they are not just far more convenient, they can be put in place in a matter of sometimes crucial minutes. They also save the considerable council expense of trucking sand to bagging pointsand monitoring the regular mad scramble to bag up.

Which brings us to another point that should not be lost on those who depend on being voted back in to keep their well paid jobs … this would be a great and deserved vote winner if the council had the wit and the will not just to buy a store of the barriers for their own use, but also to create a subsidised campaign to offer ratepayers and businesses a substantial discount. The ‘Pie estimates the adequate protection for the average home on prices so far seen would be between $1500 and $3500 at retail cost.  The bulk buying power of an entity like a Townsville-sized council would bring this cost down substantially, so along with the saving of greatly reduced sandbagging requirements and staff overtime,  traffic control and public advisories, a reasonable price for such DYI household and business protection could be easily achieved.

If you think this is a good idea, pass it on to your local councillor, and let The ‘Pie know of any response.

Another plus is that these devices are now readily available from several importers (from the US and India primarily), so no 6 to 10 person delegation need to fly to Sweden, India or the US for a six week ‘evaluation’, jaunt, it’s a proven already at hand in this country.

Hmmm, come to think of it, The ;’Pie knows where the council bean counters could find a currently wasted $750,000 annually to cover these costs.

And the benefits would be real, immediate and tangible, not imaginary.

If you get my drift.

Oh, Lighton,  Still Your Beating Heart, The ‘Pie has Returned.

The Magpie greatly appreciated and was deeply guilty on receiving your fevered email shortly before he departed North Ward. In your anguish, you in turn wailed in grief and howled in jilted anger at the relocation plans.  But mate, The ‘Pie is back.  And you have wasted no time in re-establishing loving relations with the old bird, via comments during the week. You were particularly taken with a throwaway line in last week’s Nest.

But you weren’t finished yet, were you, old chum?

Now there The Lazy Fuckers Excuse  if ever there was one. And The ‘Pie is having none of it.

All in all, it’s going to be fun being back giving you occasional tips about what your job actually entails.

Next time, let’s discuss you’re on-going wrestle with numbers, especially in relation to the V8 SuperPests attendance.

Two Quick Notes From The US

Given the multiple disasters the man/child in the White has inflicted on not just other nations but also his own, the the complete fuck-o-rama of the repainting of the Lincoln Reflecting Pool hasn’t had that much airplay over here. So just to summarise (courtesy of AI) …

President Trump’s $15-million renovation of the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool turned chaotic when the “American flag blue” pool quickly bloomed into pea soup due to summer algae. When crews added hydrogen peroxide to fix the green water, the blue paint began to peel, prompting the administration to blame vandals. 

What is suspected is that Trump awarded the no-tender contract for the work to a crony for a suitable kickback and got what he paid for. It is also a verified fact (video is floating around, that before it was painted, this childish imbecile had his motorcade drive across the emptied pool before painting was complete, causing further damage. (Seriously, this bloke is beyond any doubt certifiably mad, he should be sectioned).

Anyway, all this fucktagled shittery prompted one frustrated Wall Street wit to suggest that added to Trump’s nickname TACO -Trump Always Chickens Out – should be another Mexican delicacy, NACHO, Not A Chance Hormuz Opening.

AND THIS WAS EVEN TOPPED  BY ANOTHER POSTER WHO TIED THE TWO COCK-UPS TOGETHER, with …

 The Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool should be renamed to The Strait of Warm Ooze.

And one cartoonist tied it to a popular recent film.

And comedic curmudgeon Bill Maher had some sage advice for Trump when he said ‘If you want to stop being mocked, stop being funny.’

Quite so.

The ‘Pie will endevour to retablish te full US Cartoon Gallery next time around (hopefully next Sunday).

And Finally …

Naughty, but like the wordplay. The last word on the tedious beat-ups about who, what colour and which gender the next James Bond should be.

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Cheers for now. Comments running hot already, get in for your chop. And a hand with Nest finances will be  always be greatly appreciated. Donate button in the usual spot.

For those who’ve been wondering what ever has happened to their favourite ultracrepidarian, wonder no more. The old bird is now finally ensconced in his new Nest and is ready to gradually re-enter the fray.

 The reinvigorated Nest may differ a little from its predecessor, but still with the continued intent of entertaining while informing on matters local, national and international. But we’ll muck around with the format a bit until we get the balance right. Happy to hear what you think – well, probably just happy-ish.

TWO IMPORTANT POINTS: Your comments are invited as always and will be published as before,  and The Nest will always remain free.  (Oh, and three … donations will also be welcomed, relocation has also involved buying a new (i.e reconditioned) computer and a few other bits of hardware necessary only for the blog.)

Happy to say that The ‘Pie’s network of trusted citizen journalists remains intact, and the cornucopia of comment-worthy daily happenings in the ‘ville continues apace (the one thing the old bird has managed to do in the interim is read the Daily Astonisher every day during his relocation adventure, and boy, aren’t there always rich pickin’s there!)

The ‘Pie rebooted comments a few weeks ago, but is aware that only a few readers were aware of the initial moves, but certainly enough to make for some interesting exchanges and topics. So while a few will be familiar with much of the following, here is a sample Nest for everybody to reacquaint themselves with the Magpie’s ranting ramblings, typos, fat finger fuck-ups and all. He awaits your return fire.

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Shakespeare Rewritten: The Karl Stefanovic take on the Bard.

First, a brief mention of what someone, somewhere will inevitably call Karlgate.

The ‘Pie doesn’t intend to encourage pointless discussion about the Karl Stefanovic uproar and the ingenuous reaction of some to his clever, carefully planned and executed exit from Channel 9.  But just for the record, a view not much aired.

Stefanovic carefully plotted each and every one of his strategic steps, all aimed at monetising his chosen career-veer into podcasting, unfettered by the boundaries of the job that has made him filthy rich over 20 years.

But the Today Show gig was not a job from which he could resign without a massive financial penalty, possibly a crippling breach of contract settlement. So in January, he launched his podcast, featuring a wide variety of interview guests. But it was a carefully orchestrated Jekyll and Hyde performance, while playing the lovable(?) buffoon for Nine’s cameras each morning, he was letting rip with some Sandilands-like grubspeak outrages on his podcast.  And his exit plan was well towards fruition long before he interviewed the ill-bred guttersnipe and thug Tommy Robinson, as revealed by this weekend’s Australian.

What the Oz didn’t say that this was an unsubtle ploy that played Nine management for fools.

Just before he flew out to interview Robinson in the UK, Stefanovic used his podcast to champion accused war criminal Ben Roberts-Smith, suggesting a Labor government set-up. This laid the groundwork to paint Nine into a corner where they would have to fire him, because Nine programs including his former gig, 60 Minutes, had led the charge against BRS after belatedly picking up the story originally broken by the ABC. This was a deliberate provocation.

But just to make sure that his strategy hit home, Stefanovic then did his Dorothy Dix interview in the UK with the oafish Robinson, (who presumably would not get a visa to Australia under any government) and promptly posted it.  He left it up for 12 hours before doing a cynical ‘oops, sorry ‘bout that’ and took it down – long enough to ensure it was noticed by Nine.  The rest as they say, is history …. Karl walks with a payout of his remaining contract and penalties – announced to be in the high six figures instead of being hit with a breach of contract suit.

But why would Stefanovic take this course when his contract was up in December anyway , just six months away? Why not just wait and then make the jump without the possibility of any  mud sticking?

Well, just one word covers why … publicity.  Does anyone believe that a happy kissy-kissy tearful on-air farewell in December would garner anything like the farmed outrage and cynical biased reporting that Project Outrage has received across the country? While his podcast is free to listeners, it certainly isn’t to advertisers, and there are plenty of them willing to fork out up $5000 a pop to reach the average audience between 190,000 and 350,000., figures which will certainly swell hugely thanks to … you got it, the free publicity.

And the free lucrative honking about this in the media isn’t about to end anytime soon, for another, equally cynical reason – the Murdoch versus the Rest (particularly Nine) syndrome. The Holt Street Haranguers have found a perfect vehicle to again lay into chief media rival Nine, which inter alia owns the SMH and The Age. Murdoch’s minions all offered biased coverage always skewed towards Stefanovic as the the victim of woke big business (Hypocritical award of the Year, anyone?).

And it’s an editorial decision that has been and will continue to be spread across the entire Murdoch octopus, including our good old Townsville Daily Astonisher.

Hidden agenda or what?

The ‘Pie has detailed all this simply because it’s the sort of thing Big Media depend on the ‘little folk’ to remain in ignorance of, and to create their own little pockets of rage farming. in pubs, clubs and BBQs.  The ‘Pie think Stefanovic is a sleazy meathead and Tommy Robinson violent racist thug, but not an opinion shared in Murdochistan, where knocking a rival outweighs calling out egregious lowlife behaviour.

All good fun if you know what’s going on. But ironically, it is an insult to many, including The ‘Pie, to describe Stefanovic as a journalist … he gave up any right to that title years ago when he decided to become a grinning Colgate’s commercial, buffoon windsock swaying with the winds of populism. Like his contemporaries Sandilands, Jones, Hadley and Bolt et al,  Stefanovic does not inform, debate or interrogate issues of the day even handedly, Rather than challenge, he instead simply reflects what he knows are the entrenched views of his target audience

The phrase ‘lend me your ears’ is no longer a noble precursor to a telling indictment of betrayal but a cynical, dishonest money-grubbing exercise.

Perhaps Stefanovic’s modern version of the Bard’s famous speech should begin’ Fiends, bogans and cuntymen.

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Political Polka Meets Judicial Jazzercise, …

…where there will be all sorts of skippy steps involving stretching, bending and contortion. Welcome to the Cairns Suppression Order fuck-up, which is going to be a dance marathon.  The suppressed name was that of a witness in the preliminary hearing of an alleged extortion case.

The legal industry just loves the use of Latin phrases to reinforce the ominous vibe of arcane masonic-like exclusivity. So perhaps in reference to the Cairns suppression order brouhaha, we will shortly be regaled with the opinion that this is a not a clusterfuck, but a ‘confutatio cacata’. This grand assessment loses some of its smarty-pants gloss when it is translated as ‘shitted-up mess’. And when it comes to this no-name matter, it is emerging as one great steaming pile of squitter, or more politely, a turba confuse, a massive tangled mess.

The ’Pie does not intend to run a side trial-by-media on the initial matter itself, but as always, will look at the reporting of the matter and the curious questions that arise along the way. The short version is that an acting Cairns magistrate accidentally allowed the name of key ‘witness’ in an extortion trial be aired in open court, and the 40 minutes it took to decide to suppress it. was a joke in this electronic age … blogger Shane Cuthbert who was in court at the time, texted out the name within seconds of hearing it.  As the whole world now knows,  the gist of the core allegations that the ex of a married woman had demanded $15k or he would reveal his claim that she had dropped her tweeds to cop a length from none other than The Kid, our Premier David Crisafulli. At this stage, there is no evidence that this actually happened, and evidence suggests Crisafulli had nothing to do with moves to suppress his name. But the cashed-up mainstream media were bound by the order,  and fustrated by knowing the name but prohibited from using it,  they are fighting this order tooth and nail through the courts, an expensive but worthy argument of principle. But nothing bruises the tender legal heart so much as exposure of its inconsistencies, incompetence and futility, so despite having deleted all references he had made to the name,  a few days later Cuthbert was charged with a breach of a court order.

When this matter waddled its way into court, the police apparently suffered a major attack of cognitive dissonance –personal belief denying empirical fact – by seeking to have Cuthbert’s name also suppressed,. The reason for this extraordinarily goofy idea was never explained, and anyway, the magistrate (a different one to the beak who issued the initial order) refused . The weird thing here is that while the world and his wife all know who the mystery ‘powerful person’ is, they also know who Cuthbert is, because he broke the story on YouTube. On top of that, he was named in MSM stories about his arrest and charging.  By agreement, he hadswiftly removed any reference to the matter from his social media, so knowing his name will not further reveal what we already know. So by refusing to suppress his name (I mean FFS!), at least one magistrate doesn’t look silly in this ‘confutatio cacata’.

Then, in the story, there was this from today’s story …

The ‘Pie is versed enough in the sensible reasoning behind most suppression orders, but in this modern era, the law has not adjusted to the fact that such orders are trying to put the cork back in a champagne bottle.
But in this matter, we come to the strange use of the word ‘uninvolved’, when the mystery man (the coyly coined MM, but apparently far more than a sweet nibble) became the very involved catalyst when he is said to have nailed a consenting married woman. While those of you still awake at this stage will say, yes, but he has committed no crime and therefore deserves to be shielded from the public airing of his alleged infidelity in an extortion case.
Which brings to the question to be decided in a higher court, that of public interest and right to know versus shielding a public person from embarrassment and censure..

The question which needs to be considered here is : does the moral dimension of MM’s horizontal hoedown – if it actually took place – fall in favour of public exposure. Because there are still many who like their ‘powerful’ men and women to adhere to a higher standard to merit the money, perks and power bestowed upon them by the electorate.

This one has legs as they say, and will probably be a marathon rather than a sprint.

Meanwhile, MM hasn’t entered the fray, he’s too busy – errr – running his publicly owned corporation called Queensland.  Allegedly.

Submitted on 2026/06/18 at 1:17 pm

(This is the only available pic of Ms Meoli that could be found, not intended to be unflattering to her position but it was taken by the Cairns Post in 2023 when she joined in celebrations at the local; Italian Festival.)

The ‘Pie was interested to learn that Acting Magistrate (‘acting’ being interesting in itself) Gelma Meoli comes from a highly respected local rural family of presumably Italian heritage in the area, and is well known for their support of conservative politics (Country Party originally). To use the legal nomenclature, that fact may be nugatory on which ‘nothing turns’ as the eagles are fond of saying, but since this bumbling legal dog’s dinner of a matter has understandably prompted all sorts of speculation, might as well throw this one into the mix for conspiracy theorists.

Note: Cuthbert appears in court on August 4, but the media’s fight against the suppression order is likely to end up in the High Court sometime in the next 10 years, along the way supplying plenty of Veuve Clicquot for this lawyers picnic.

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Speaking Of Criminal Behaviour

It’s not only the Daily Astonisher that is having a losing battle bridging the ever widening gap between credibility and the current publication (have you voted on Townsville’s best burger yet?). It seems someone out at Charters Towers hasn’t been paying attention, either.

An alert reader (nice to know quite a few have stuck with The ‘Pie during this transitional period) sent in this nightmare fodder.

In the what?

Well, in the brainchild of this chap …

One doesn’t get a rush of confidence when reading claims that the Gazette is Charters Towers’ leading newspaper, a truth that omits that it is the ONLY hard copy paper in the town, since the venerable Northern Miner was swallowed into the great digital maw of News Ltd in 2020, and is now an online masthead only,  featuring rehashed stories from the Bulletin, 95% of which are about Townsville.

So in that sense, more power to Mr Sumpton – whatever his own real pipe dreams are, he has even gained the endorsement of the local council.

But just what a disgraced fraudster and conman from Townsville can offer this fledgling newspaper is hard imagine. The’ Pie concludes that the mentally damaged Thompson saw a chance for a fresh audience of cookers, and Mr Sumpton innocently (?) sees a boost to the Gazette’s print run with a parallel boost in ad rates.

Ironically, the Gazette is probably published in the News Ltd print hall in Townsville.

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About bloody time … but somebody better do a welfare check on Charlie McColl.

The ‘Pie is reliably told that at the last MIRRA meeting Ma Greaney attended in March,  shewent off saying TCC would not take on the upkeep of the road, the election pledge Baillie made was stupid, and agreed with her old mate Charlie McColl who has been writing to everyone and anyone who he can think of – objecting to the road being open.

Ma was quickly told it was a state govt issue and nothing to do with council and one of MIRRA core projects is to have the road open to Florence Bay.

Seems state govt has had enough of council’s antics – current estimate of cost for the Sooning st bridge is now over $20 million, due to open in July – August.

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And Finally …

His first his marriage, then his party, and now his policy on housing.

Will someone please tell Barnaby he has to stop with the back-flipping …at least .until learns how to nail the landing.

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The’Pie cannot guarantee an immediate return of your old regular Sunday morning delight, there are new demands on his time, but he will work towards again making it a fixed feature. And any small donation you think appropriate will not be regarded as a bribe, The ‘Pie will do his duty anyway … heh, heh, heh.

Until the next barrow load, see ya.

The Nest has never been about me personally or my private affairs,   but all you folks who have stuck so loyally with The Nest – some from day 1, or even further back to my Bulletin days –  deserve the respect of an explanation for my departure from the city I have happily called home for three decades.

A combination of finance, health and family matters have conspired to call time on my 37 wonderful years in Townsville, the last sixteen completely consumed by The Magpie”s Nest. After discussions with my daughter, I have reluctantly agreed that at 80 years of age, I am now entering a period where it is wise – indeed responsible – to be with my family in the coming years, especially given that I have limited communication nowadays since cancer took my voice.  Besides, on consideration, while it’s been a voluntarily and happily solitary life in recent years, it will be nice to have family around me, .

So I find myself Ballarat-bound.

I will not attempt to individually thank everyone who deserves it – whether anonymous or known – who have been integral to the success of the Magpie’s Nest … there are many and I would be sure to inadvertently miss some. And, as is the way of the world, there are some sadly missed and no longer with us to thank.  Principal among these was my great,  generous friend and legal champion, the much missed Greg Humphries. Greg and his wife Heather were staunch support through turbulent legal times, along with the equally generous barrister Tony Moon. And there are three other people behind the scenes who, while totally unrelated to any content in the weekly blog, were unknowingly instrumental in its success.  Caroline McManus (now Zeller) was the Nest’s property owner back in 2002 when The ‘Pie fell in love at first sight with what was to become his Nest,  and for many years,  she was always generous in allowing me my champagne view across to Maggie on beer money.  And when the property changed hands a few years ago,  new owner Mark Adams and his Smart Rentals property manager Grace Battershall also went beyond the norm, apparently taking into account my personal situation and giving generous regard to my long tenancy … I was never just a name and number in a ledger,  they always afforded me individual dignity, consideration and respect.

Nevertheless, through time, the beer money has become shandy money, and despite a flattering minimal rise offered on a new lease,  the point had been reached where it was becoming untenable – probably unfair – to stay.

Despite the wrenching chore of packing up my home of 24 years,  I have spent the last otherwise listless few weeks realising how much the blog had so happily dominated my daily routines for a decade  and a half.

With that reality refusing to fade, my intention is to make this just a break from your regular Sunday morning read, and plan a spruced-up, re-designed Nest, again largely featuring all matters Townsville, but expanding more into other areas that it is becoming apparent people wish to talk about … given that 95% of the previous content has been reactive to the less-than-adequate performance of local entities (the totally compromised and selectively incurious Astonisher, the Dudley Do-Nothings at TEL and the Wirth’s Circus of Walker Street et al)  as reported across the web, I was rarely if ever required to be on the spot physically.  And the growing number of ‘citizen journalists’ who entrusted often sensitive information to the Magpie,  tended to make the regular Sunday missive just a starting gun for the often informative, always entertaining comments throughout the week.

BUT WILL REPORTING ON  TOWNSVILLE WHILE NOT LIVING HERE  WORK, IS IT AN ETHICAL THING TO DO?

The answer to both those questions will be entirely up to you, the readers.

When the Nest starts republishing, the readership numbers and interest will determine whether it continues.

If the answer is no, it doesn’t work like that,  then no harm done. COMMENTS REMAIN OPEN FOR THE TIME BEING, I WILL ADVISE YOU ALL WHEN I PULL THE PLUG .

In all it’s phases, successes and failures, adventures and misadventures both amorous and actual, turbulent times and great friendships, it’s been an absolute  blast for the past 37 years.

I will dream about Townsville, what it was, what it is, and what it will eventually forge on to be.

Thank you.

Malcolm Weatherup – The ‘Pie

… what the hell is council’s resident Dad Joke specialist  Brady Ellis up to …

The ‘Pie has an ‘event attraction’ theory, which he explains in an imagined conversation between TEL and The Astonisher.

Good old News Ltd,  always good for a few laughs and head scratches ..

Two Labor stalwarts remembered … one dead, one alive.

And a few laughs along the way, including a great spoof on Trump’s bimbo press secretary.

This is the last blog for the 2025, The ‘Pie will be taking a break with some vague plans for a site rebuild in 2026. We’ll see how that stacks up, but in the meantime, a special thanks to those of you who have materially supported the Nest throughout the year; without you, we probably  would not have been here. And to all readers,  whether you love him or love to hate him, The Magpie wishes the merriest of Christmases and a more uplifted New Year than those past.  BUT a big heads up … we’re closing in on the annual Silly Season when people are distracted and governments  find it the ideal time to announce  controversial decisions. So keep an eye out, because comments will continue to be published over the holiday period.

A Good Team At The Top … That’s The Long And The Short Of It.

And the future will hold plenty more japes just like that. there’ll be plenty more japes like that as we move on. There was already this exchange in comment.

The Magpie’s only reservation with all this is that with the Thompson affair, Suzy has shown she does. not suffer fools gladly (she read the no confidence letter to the media) and is happy to shirt-front anyone she thinks is being devious or stupid. It has been widely felt for some time that Nick Dametto isn’t all that bright,  and has some regrettable social attitudes, so let’s hope it doesn’t lead to any tension at the top.

But that said, perhaps it’s time for us all to take a breath, and give all our councillors some space to fully morph into the team we need to lead Townsville forward.

You Can Depend On The Bully Not To Be Too Nosey

There’s something serious amiss with this story, and with the reporter.

While we’re all aware of Lighton Smith’s aversion to questions, this is pretty unforgivable. When someone stands down from a position of community significance, surely the very first thing that you ask is ‘Why?’  All the readers of this Bulletin story almost certainly did,  but reporter Goofy didn’t.  Even if Greaney had scuttled off without a word (she she apparently did)  you’d imagine a reporter would say they ‘reached out” (ugh!! stupid phrase) to her but didn’t respond.

But Here’s An Even More Mysterious Question Mark 

This is just fucking weird.

Putting aside the pathetically silly headline, the unattributed story quotes the only two people mentioned,  Port Authority executive Drew Penny and the ship’s passenger spokeswoman Jessica Hoppe. Which is fine. But the accompanying picture features neither, but instead Port cruise coordinator Monica Cazzulino, Townsville Enterprise waste of space Lisa Woolfe … and Clr Brady Ellis.

WTF! WT actual F?? OK two out of the three can be explained away, but Brady fucking Ellis? What possible reason is there for him to be at the Port, let alone in this pic?  Is he using the Mullet Method of getting moist and excited when a camera is around? Someone in comments suggested that he will make a run for mayor in 2028.  Good luck with that, boyo.

Simply weird.

But then there was a truly rude public moment for the paper on this small story.

Thaty would be councillor Vera Dirou doing the honours in the photogrph, and the story does name her. But have a look at the caption.

Now that is just simply rude,  unprecedented and unprofessional …  wouldn’t have happene if it was the mayor, his deputy, or for that matter, anyone else. it merits a apologetic call from the editor, at the very least, and a kick in the coit for whomsoever was responsible..

But let’s stay with the paper a bit longer.

What A Load Of Fooey!!

The beady avian eye caught this low level tripe in the Astonisher during the week (who’s The ‘Pie kidding, it could hardly be missed,  front page pointer page 5 for this nonsense. )

In a nutshell, the band Foo Fighters have announced a one-off return to Australia, for a concert in Tasmania (weird choice, but we’re talking rock bands here). And suddenly, the above story turned up in The Astonisher on Tuesday. Reading through this hyperventilating codswallop (the things the ‘Pie does for you folks), he noted the local fan club spokesman Michael Chamberlain (no relation) reckons a national tour may follow. And The ‘Pie thinks he well may be right.  But not for his naive reasons.

Given that we were graced with an iditorial on something that isn’t news …

… here’s what The ‘Pie reckons may have happened, spelled out in an imagined but highly likely phone conversation between ….

Bulletin Editor Jill Poulson

…. and …

CC: Hey,  Jilly, have I got a front page for you!!  I’ve just snared the Foo Fighters for a Townsville gig at stadium.  They used their ‘one-off’ Tasmanian (eye roll) gig to see if a wider tour was worth it. When I got wind of it, I chucked more than $100k to the promoters to include Townsville …. and they agreed!!! (Yippee, clap, hands, skip). But they won’t be announcing it just straight away, so nothing much for the paper yet.

JP:  Your kidding, sweetie, but hey, great get, Chels,  I’ll get on it right away.

CC: But Christ, Jilly, don’t break the embargo, that might make them have a rethink.

JP: Oh, Chels, you really are a bit new to this game, aren’t you? Let me tell you how it works.

CC Huh?

JP: I’ll get our troops to dig up and organise some local loser to create an online Foo fan club, give them a big spread about how Townsville is ready for a Foo concert, how we deserve it and the usual claptrap, and we’ll then push them to start a petition to get the band here. I’ll rev ‘em up with a mindless editorial and we’ll use that to run one of our famous polls in the Bulletin with a 95% support result. 

CC: But the Foos already coming, I’ve sent the cash.

JP: No worries, we’ll run a few more stories about momentum building, probably can get our new ninny of a mayor involved, (he’s not too bright, apparently) ,  maybe Crisafulli too with a regional Queensland booster statement. Then, when the tour is announced, we can go big … front page,  that is, if there isn’t some kid dying of an obscure disease on that day. We’ll lay it on thick, you can’t believe how the locals fall for this bullshit about using the power of the press blarty dah and so … a sensational win for the little people.  And how Townsville again proves it is the events capital of the north etc etc. Big mention of TEL and all the work you did on this, Chels, luv. Lots of quotes from you and no doubt Claudia will want to stick her bib in, too.

CC: But you won’t mention the dough to the promoter, will you? There’s always some bastard, like that bloody Magpie twit, who thinks we have to tell the public what we’re doing with their money. 

JP: Course not. By the by, how much was it?

CC: (giggling) I’ll tell you if you tell me the paper’s real circulation figures.

JP: (pause) See you sometime for lunch, thanks for the call.

But even if that is might not be true but the Foofies still come to town, the bit about money to the promoters will definitely be right.

Bread and circuses ain’t cheap.

Why The Political Posturing Of The Social Media Age Ban Won’t Work

This is gesture politics at its most cynical.

Remember the old saying that 70 is the new 60, now up-dated to 80 is the new 65, a reflection of  better informed health outcomes  as a new ageing generation of oldies starts coming  through.  While there’s increasing truth in those words, the real question is why aren’t we looking at the other end of the spectrum Why aren’t we looking objectively at the reverse happening at the other end of the life span? And applying it to the new reality.

And that new reality, thanks almost entirely to social media over the past two decades,  is that 12 is the new 16, and 14 is the 18, maybe 20. It may be argued that that is a doubtful benefits of social media, but it is fact.  That much of the information filtering through young minds may be false, insidious or just downright dangerous, but one thing is constant – the little buggers, brought up with it, know how to use it.  And you can bet the current adolescent generation sure know how to use it better than the generation in Canberra making unenforceable laws kicking them of various platforms until they’re 16.

Another saying was from a wit who said ‘time is just God’s way of ensuring everything doesn’t happen all at once’.  Then God didn’t envision the tsunami of information in which social media swamps people,. It’s instant everything, all at once,   and while more mature people may work out defences and processes, that’s not how many young minds work. And it cannot be denied that social media is an addition, just as damaging in a way as online gambling. No wonder some overwhelmed youngsters top themselves.

Already there are huge breaches in the dam wall that’s being put up against the sea of information out there, with stories flooding in of youngsters laughing at how easy it is to get around.  And the technology and clunky verification process apparently works mainly as a deterrent rather than an effective blocking.  And there’s nothing more dangerous or as ruthlessly efficient as a bored, mildly tech savvy youngster. Already, they can pretty simply cheat the system in a number of innovation ways,   with the irony that almost all the platforms that are ‘banned’ have for weeks sharing ‘work around’ hacks.

But in pointing this out, The Magpie is not endorsing kids smartness, but more criticising a legacy seeking Prime Minister’s who has forgotten the golden rule … never create laws that you can’t enforce.  Australia waving a big stick at big tech is a Canute-like exercise at best, and inevitably a ruinously expensive one.  So taxpayers, brace yourselves. Albanese wants a legacy that puts him beside the past global leads of Australia, notably national compulsory wearing of seat belts (1972) and plain packaging for cigarettes (2012).  But both those measures were easily enforceable. Use of social media, usually in a private space,  offers no such possibility, which is why the government has put the onus on tech companies.  Age bans have always been notorious for attracting workarounds, especially booze and the aforementioned cigarettes (when they were affordable with pocket money).  And consenting teen sex for that matter. Whether this ban will hold up in our courts is anybody’s guess , and one imagines it will never work in the US,  although some states have limited laws in this regard that are already that are being challenged.

One positive upside as The ‘Pie sees it s a greater awareness and discussion within families on handling the ban. And it’s not a cynical joke that the ban may bring about some old style family togetherness … if the parents can get their noses out their own phones and devices long enough to enjoy their kids more.

You Might Have To Trust The ‘Pie On The Visual Here

An eagled-eyed reader sent in this photo, taken at Richo’s recent funeral. Resolution is the best The ‘Pie could do.

The white-haired bloke looking towards the camera is Shane Hill, and partly obscured next to him is wife,  Jenny, our own beloved ex- Mayor Mullet. What The ‘Pie’s  sharp-eyed mate wondered was just how close was Jenny Hill’s relationship with the late (and as far as The ‘Pie is concerned, unlamented) Richardson., one of the great political crooks of our time. For someone who never rose above a provincial  mayoralty to be seated in the second row of a political and celebrity-studded affair is worthy of contemplation.

Has The Mullet been rehabilitated in the eyes of the Labor hierarchy, and finally get her desperately yearned for spot on Labor’s senate ticket?  Or was it just an old mate’s act?

Stayed tuned.

The Best Cartoon Of The Week Goes To Harry Bruce In The Bulletin

Cartoonist Harry Bruce

Harry Bruce, the paper’s cartoonist, amazes with his unfailing output … in fact The ‘Pie cannot remember a single day when a Harry ‘toon did not appear as required on the editorial page, often making more sense of the written silliness of recent iditors.  Harry does work on a regular basis for other publications, Cairns, Mackay et al, buggered if if I know how he does it. Given this pressure, his humour is sometimes hit and miss but when he gets a bullseye, it’s a humdinger. This week, he was undoubtedly the very best in the entire country on a national story … no words can match Harry’s thousand word picture on Barnaby’s defection to One Notion.

Not another word need be said. A bewdy, Harry.

The Astonisher also can claim one of the intentionally funny comments of the week, too, and not unsurprisingly, it came from a reader in the letters column.

Given that everything else that moves or stands still carries advertising these days, why not?  Worthy idea, Mr Worth.

And it’s always good to take a leak for a laugh in The Australian.

And what better way to enjoy a few laughs that a round-up of The Shovel’s take on the week’s news.

 As always nowadays, not sure that last one’s a joke.

But that neatly brings us to this week’s visit to …

AMERIKA

A recent poll in the US indicated that 7th among the top ten most loathed people was Trump’s air head, hair flicking bimbo press secretary Karoline Leavitt.

Always sporting a crucifix necklaces, (it is a wonder the Pope hasn’t excommunicated her)  this deeply offensive woman/child daily parrots the crass immoral effluvium produced from the bowels of the Orange Abomination.  A practising Catholic, Leavitt usually leads team prayers before she steps forward to endorse and promote sin after sin.  Now,  a Canadian TV show has hilariously lampooned this passive/aggressive trollop.

Elsewhere, Trump’s Christmas wish list and playing Santa were on the cartoonists’ agenda. The first one’s a rip snorter.

And Finally, The Fashionable Lunacy Of Our Times 

…………..

That’s all for 2025, folks. Thanks for hanging around, giving us the heads up on stories, a great array of comments and of course, a special thanks to those who have financially supported the blog throughout the year, without you, there’d be no Nest.  Plan to be back sometime early-ish in the New Year. In the meantime, sincere best wishes for a safe and happy holiday period. Malcolm Magpie

More smoke and mirrors tripe from the Dudley Do Nothings,  but The ‘Pie tells you why you’ll never hear a discouraging word about TEL from the Bulletin.

Chris’ Biffo’ Condon KO’s the cops …. again. It’s 10-nil to date. But the latest bungle raises some questions about the AFP’s motives for the spectacular failure of Operation Biffo.

And a touching pictorial farewell to our former mayor-for-a-minute and his testicle-kicking pal.

Plus the latest unbelievably crass week on Planet Trump, as seen by American cartoonists.

You can support The Nest with a much needed donation to help meet the blog’s on-going costs. The appropriate link to help out is at the end of the blog.

What Sort Of Shape Will The TCC Be In, Going Into 2026?  Actually, Not Bad … 

…that is according to an experienced researcher. The regular commenter known hereabouts as Southern Comfort, is accustomed to sifting through the entrails of local government, and has concluded the Chicken Little prediction the imminent collapse of Walker Street was way off the mark.  This a lengthy report, but one worth the read as we gird our loins for 2026.

Southern Comfort 153 approved email hidden; JavaScript is required 2a09:bac3:396:355::55:3e

Submitted on 2025/12/05 at 4:53 pm | In reply to Bordeaux Bob. I will say this, TCC does itself no favours when it comes to making information accessible. For the most part, a lot of the answers to questions increasing numbers of people are asking are already buried around a myriad of places via the TCC website. The problem they have (and this was apparent in Friday’s Special Meeting on the Advisors and committee roles) is they use some web service called Resolve, which is probably where a lot more anger and attentions should be focussed). Even Cr Dirou pointed it out at friday’s meeting that Councillors weren’t able to access the full document pack for the morning of the meeting via this system: So let’s have a look at some of the major areas where copncerns have been raised. -Debt – is well reported, and appears reasonably well managed through a Treasury report you will find in every second Ordinary Meetings doc pack in Resolve. It’s not searchable this way, but when you find it, and track it, as I do monthly, you find this fairly well managed, in line with all State Government guidelines and currently running at just 6% of TCC’s total market value equivalent. It’s not the dire picture everyone believes when you put it in context. $429m sounds a lot, but in context of what it’s covering, it’s just slightly under current market interest rates, and is being serviced well. (Magpie note: Many people get over-awed and intimidated by large debt amounts like that, but it must be remembered that we are dealing with in essence a billion dollar corporation, not a used car yard on Bowen Road.) There’s action at the North Rail Yards: Brad Webb is a doer, not a yapper. -North Rail Yards – QAO flagged issues with the TCC SPV corporate entity. It’s being dismantled, and money from Brisbane flowing for site remediation. Given current property prices, and as Pie pointed out, Webby working hard on his side of the deal, I’d expect this to turn into a positive news story for TCC before to long. Haughton Pipeline All pipes, but no pumps. -HS2 – This is the only item that really is lacking in good detail. Hunt through the site as you may, you will find it woefully lacking in current updated information. Reconfirmed statements from the CEO that it won’t cost TCC ratepayers more than $79m. But nothing on how. This is the pressure button that people should be pressing for answers. And transparent information from TCC is yet to materialise. One hopes this is where the new Mayor will deliver some Brisbane and Canberra monies to shore up the project. Whilst completion times have been updated this year, they already look like a joke. But the “money” questions are what needs to be answered. There is nothing apparent in the Treasury reporting that indicates that TCC are spending anything differently to their claims. But the project is late, and no matter how you cut it, late generally means more. So far you’d have to ask serious questions on who is holding those extra costs. They’re not on the TCC books. -Lansdown is well documented and on plan. New loan put in place at the end of last FY, drawdown on schedule, and delivery appears to be consistent. This one seems to be more of a PR disaster than any other. No one has ever properly laid out the timelines in this project. It’s meeting them. But payback has not, and was not ever expected to start materialising until 2030-2032 timeframes. And this is a 20 year project. Not an overnighted instant success. TCC (and whoever you want to consider in the Mayors chair at any time) have been crap for years on communicating about this, and let everyone believe the holy grail is closer than it appears. It’s not. But it is on documented target. My two recommended takeaways: 1) Push for TCC to join at least the 2020’s with technology on how they document and present information to the public. They are years behind Council’s like Scenic Rim, Noosa, Redlands on having more transparent, publicly accessible information. Like I said, I have to painfully trawl through this Resolve system constantly to get updates on status. They are there for all but HS2. Just buried so deeply that they can’t demonstrate to anyone that they are doing the basic jobs on schedule. Perception gets damaged, as no one gives easy to understand answers, or points at a simple online dashboard where you can draw your own conclusions. 2) HS2 is still where the answers aren’t. And the questions are. Now everyone is going to ask me to “prove it” and “where’s the link?”. And to that I go back to my issue 1 and the whole story. As you go through the TCC website (especially Council Meetings where a lot of this is in Officer Reports, you hit Resolve Red. The proprietary system used by TCC IT, built in decades past, And a PITA to work with. I post links, and they are likely invalid and dynamically regenerated in minutes. I have to use a range of different tools just to pull copies of the video livestream down to my PC to review. You’d think that when there is a nice camera style icon that you push, and the livestream plays (on a different tab or browser window than where you pushed the icon) that just getting a copy of the livestream for download would be easy. It’s not. Apparently TCC and Resolve are worried everyone will be pirating TCC meeting videos and the future of Netflix is at risk. If Netflix actually gave a flying…..follicle about TCC meeting videos. The information on 3 of  the 4 main topics is readily available, once you know where to look. It seems to be constantly misrepresented (“Oh we’re teetering on insolvency” prior to budgets to soften everyone up for the state Rises, to “we’re about to deliver surpluses” when you have a Mayoral by-election – funny how the good news only comes out when it’s useful – or wasn’t in that individuals case). If I look at your list and want to hammer home the one point that needs answers, it’s HS2. That is the elephant (mostly now) in the ground.

In The ‘Pie’s book, a fine analysis, in part because it completely lacked any party political commentary, which may be fun, but never gets anyone anywhere. But the TCC communication and tech issue is no sidelight if they are serious about transparency.

And a final thought.  Financially, we may not be where we would like to be, but in the way of these things it is now no biggy, and as Southern Comfort says, it is being handled without stress. So why did Greaney, Richardson and Sewell, try to sell us such a pup on Strand parking meters, basing their misjudged call on the parlous state of council finances? Thank Christ Robinson and Batkovic weren’t as gullible or personally as fawning towards ‘our wonderful CE to whom we owe thanks’ as Greaney was.

You really are a dud, lady.

A Surprise Candidate In Line For An Mayoral Adviser Gig? 

This is from the ‘strong rumour’ file

At first blush, as they say in court, it seems a very savvy possibility , but a closer look shows that nothing is quite that simple.

Miranda Mears, immediate Past President of the Townsville Chamber of Commerce

On Friday, councillors agreed their new mayor Dametto should have proper back-up,  and  that he is entitled to and needs three advisers. While that went through with a warning from Robbo not to try for stupid choices, candidates are yet to be put forward, and be appropriately vetted in the approved  LG process.  So a solid two-year run at the helm of the Townsville Chamber of Commerce, with nary a ripple rocking of that boat,  is an ideal CV entry to fill one of Mayor Dametto’s three adviser positions.  So it’s now floating around among The Magpie’s usual unreliable sources (who, strangely enough, are so often right) that Miranda Mears might be tapped, or she may herself ask, for  one of the spots.  And on the face of it, she would be a well credentialed, well connected and experienced addition to the TCC wheelhouse.

But nothing ever that bloody simple in this town … or state.  So councillors now need to resolve some ticklish questions, should Ms Mears be a candidate.

First the undoubted upside.

Mears has held prominent roles in regional business and innovation networks, including leadership in chamber-of-commerce structures and involvement with innovation precincts. This
positions her as a well-connected figure in North Queensland’s business and government-funded innovation ecosystem.  She is also very tech savvy, something which we have already pointed to as needing urgent attention in Walker Street.

However, it is that bit about government-funded ‘innovation ecosystem’, (in other words, government work) why this could get tricky. You see, Ms Mears is the Managing Director of Australian Impact Group (AIG), a Queensland-based advisory consultancy focussing broadly on areas such as business strategy, cyber security issues, strategic innovation, entrepreneurship and founder support,  AIG has been a delivery partner or subcontractor on various Queensland Government–linked contracts.

Now that all sounds tickety boo you beaut,  but there may be some clarification needed when AIG sub-contracted some former Labor state government work on cyber security from a crowd called Cryptoloc. The Crisafulli Government nixed that Labor-granted contract in January,  wondering not only why the contract jumped from $5m to $15m, but how the extra money  suddenly migrated on receipt from Cryptoloc to the personal bank account of Cryptoloc’s founder  and big Labor donor Jamie Wilson.  He’s since gone bankrupt,  and AIG appear uninvolved in any hanky panky, and seem to be more stranded business victim of Wilson’s fall from grace. To be absolutely clear, The Magpie is not suggesting or has any reason to believe that Ms Mears or AIG have done anything illegal or unethical, but if there is any lesson to be learned from the Thompson debacle, being up front, taking charge of the narrative from the outset  and clearing the air is the only honest, sensible – and successful –  way to go. 

So the point is AIG and Mears have done business with the government, and for all The ‘Pie can discover, may still do. AND THAT is what raises a possible question of conflict of interest.. So the The ‘Pie guesses it falls to him to ask these questions, because the Townsville Bulletin still think ‘proactivity’ is an Swiss energy drink made by Red Bull.

Questions to Mayor Nick Dametto
1 What selection process will be used to appoint the three mayoral advisers? Will the
positions be publicly advertised with clear merit-based selection criteria?
2 Have any individuals already been approached, shortlisted or informally sounded out for
these roles, including Miranda Mears or Australian Impact Group?
3 Will any adviser roles be filled via consultancy contracts with private companies rather than
employment contracts with council? If so, which companies and under what procurement
process?
4 What safeguards will govern conflicts of interest for advisers who have existing commercial
relationships with state agencies, councils or regional precincts in North Queensland?
5 Will advisers and their outside interests be disclosed on the council website, including any
company directorships and current consulting clients in the region?
Questions to Miranda Mears / Australian Impact Group
1 Can you confirm whether you have been approached or are under consideration for a
mayoral adviser role at Townsville City Council, either personally or via Australian Impact
Group?
2 If appointed, would you take the role as an individual employee of council or through a
consulting contract with Australian Impact Group? Why?
3 What measures would you put in place to manage conflicts of interest between your
advisory role and any ongoing or future work by Australian Impact Group for Queensland
Government, councils or regional partners?
4 What lessons did you draw from Australian Impact Group’s subcontractor experience on the
Cryptoloc cyber-security program, and how do those lessons inform your approach to
governance and risk?

Questions to the TCC Chief Executive Officer
1 How will council ensure procurement and employment processes for mayoral advisers
comply with the Local Government Act and associated regulations, particularly on political
activity and conflicts of interest?
2 Will the CEO or an independent panel oversee the recruitment and vetting of adviser
candidates, and will councillors be given adequate detail to exercise their oversight role?
3 What policies are in place to prevent advisers (or their companies) from later bidding for or
receiving council contracts in areas where they have had influence over strategy or
program design?

With Those Questions Put, The Pros And Cons In Summary:

And please forgive the buzz word blather.

Miranda Mears’ expertise lies heavily in innovation ecosystems, accelerators, founders, digital skills and
government-funded programs. If she becomes one of only three key advisers, there is a risk
that strategic attention within the mayor’s office could skew towards programmatic,
grant-driven initiatives at the expense of more mundane but politically salient issues such as
core service delivery, rates and long-term governance reform.
• Supporters may argue this expertise is exactly what is needed to reframe Townsville as
“open for business” and attract new investment.
• Critics may counter that it entrenches a particular “innovation precinct” worldview that has
not yet convincingly delivered broad-based civic or financial improvements for ordinary
ratepayers.

If Ms Mears think it appropriate (although unlikely she will) The Nest will be happy to publish unedited any response she would care to make to the above.

Like The ‘Pie said before, nothing is simple in this town … but neither should it be, the TCC is not a mum and dad corner store.

STOP PRESS STOP PRESS STOP PRESS  (as we oldies used to say)

Sunday Dec 7 10.30am 

Miranda Mears has provided a comprehensive reply to the above this morning. Go to comments to read her response.

Why You Won’t Hear The Bulletin Support Calls For A Close Look At Townsville Enterprise

The ‘Pie has again noted this highly questionable relationship between Townsville Enterprise and the Townsville Bulletin.

The Bulletin is listed as a partner on the Platinum membership level,  which costs an eye-watering and totally wasted $100,000 p.a. In the paper’s case,  it would almost certainly be entirely  an ‘in kind’  quid pro quo arrangement.  While on the face of it, this looks like responsible community involvement, it is anything but.  Anecdotally, the amount of actual advertising for which TEL uses the newspaper wouldn’t get anywhere near a hundred grand (not even at Murdoch’s avarcious rate card asks) , so it’s reasonable to believe that the membership quid pro quo is lots of uncritical stories about TEL and the occasionally empty simperings of Claudia  Brumme as an occasional columnist.

This is a deeply unethical position for the paper to allow itself to assume, especially when any professional media organisation should be an observer, not a player participant in any area of the community that could come under criticism.  Even if the Bulletin ran a story about calls for a re-think and restructure of TEL, (and pink pigs named Asif to that happening) why would anyone believe whatever they reported (which would certainly be an anodyne nothing-to-see here report)?

It becomes more apparent by the day that the Townsville Bulletin is part of this city’s underlying problems,  and it’s lack of professional standards and self-serving ‘ethics’ are certainly not part of any solution.

Will The Bromance Survive? 

This just missed last week’s Nest,  so let’s give it another run from comments.

And there’s really not much more to say on this subject.

Speaking Of Mates … The Dudley-Do-Nothing’s Annual Smoke And Mirrors Rort Is On Again.

What has become the equivalent of a vote-buying exercise using public money is back again … only it’s not votes TEL are after, it is a basically a bribe using taxpayers money to counter the growing disapproval of this pointless money pit that continually refuses to be accountable.  Have a read through this upside down back to front load of hot cock.

Boy aren’t there ever a couple of prime quotes in there that give the game away. First from that vacuously-grinning oaf Lisa Woolfe, who noted last year, this subsidy ran out in less than a week. “We love bringing back this campaign – both times it has sold out within days of launch. Locals love a sale, but more importantly they love supporting the local businesses that bring our region to life.”   So that settles one issue: this isn’t about attracting out-of-towners – you know, like TEL’s remit stipulates, tourists  with out-of-town money – because visitors will not have the time or inclination  to make the hike to this neck of the woods on the basis of this offer.  So if this is primarily for locals, why the fuck is TEL involved at all?  Oh, that’s right … they’re in it because the Townsville Council chucked  them a big chunk of government lolly to do whatever they liked with it.  And please do not confuse the largesse for we locals with that million plus earmarked to attract major events. Ms Woolf’s abilities were held in such high regard that they had to hire a separate someone else for that gig, which has already slipped into a comfortable non-accountability posture.

And our new head honcho Slick Nick confirmed this popularity boost using public money when he said , “We’re proud to see locals supporting locals, so it’s a no-brainer for Council to get behind this campaign once again. The success of the previous rounds shows the real appetite for locals to experience our city like a visitor and support Townsville businesses at the same time.” 

Locals supporting locals? Whether we want to or not, in a give-away discount lottery? This is like we are a city of cafes selling each other cups of coffee. Now, folks, don’t start thinking that The ‘Pie has gone into Grinch-mode,  it is great they we can get some respite from the often grim grind of local politics, not to mention some material get-back, but The’Pie’s point is this: you are actually shouting yourself a discount with this offer (presumably the discounts on offer are returned by the council via TEL to the businesses partaking in the scheme). Because the TCC … through TEL … are using government funds … which come from where? Yes, you, the taxpayer.

Look, if that’s what they want to do, it’s a great  chance for the ordinary Joe and Jenny  to be self-subsidised into an enjoyable break. But for Townsville Enterprise and the Woolfe ninny to make it out as some achievement is … is … well, it is about par for the fucking course with this mob.

BIFFO CONDON 10 – THE POLICE 0.

Oh, dear, a policeman’s lot is an even unhappier one this week.

The dropping of weapons and other charges against Chris Condon chalks up another win for the serially charged show ground boss. Perhaps more significantly, it also chalks up another abysmal face full of egg for police, in this latest case, the AFP.

During a raid on Condon’s show ground offices in 2020, the Feds said they found a pistol, two silencers and ammunition for which Condon did not have the necessary permits to possess. Although no charges seem to have been lodged, the bluebags also took possession of $11000 in cash.

As is the way with these things, when the police prosecutor dropped the charges, he offered not even an evasively worded reason for the blunder. All the property is to be returned to Mr Condon, which raises a few questions.

The Feds seized the money and charged Biffo with some sort of fraud on the government, but that charge were dropped in 2022 …. so why did they continue to hold the money for another three years, and not return it then and there? And will it be returned with suitable interest added?

And if the weapons and ammo are also being returned, that surely means Condon was in legal possession of them in the first place. The ‘Pie wonders if Biffo’s lawyer, the canny Andy Telford, might be sniffing a juicy defo case?

Over the years, The ‘Pie has followed the Condon v Police saga with bemusement. Suffice to say, in that time, nine matters (usually to do with weapons) were brought before the beaks, and all were dismissed – mostly for sloppy evidence – one way or another (including a spurious assault case of assault against a nutter Condon smacked around the ear for trespassing on show ground property – a biased Townsville jury found Biffo guilty, he appealed, got a new trial in Mackay and was acquitted). Back in the noughties, there were clear indications that some of the charges were driven by the personal animosity of a senior copper, who has long left the city.

So yesterday’s latest pantomime nicely rounds off to ten -nil the Condon v coppers saga.

But if Andy Telford is wringing his hands in anticipation of a damages claim, the Bulletin better keep an eye out.

Of all the dozens of file photos of Condon (including a couple The ‘Pie himself took way back when) – like the one above that ran in the online edition the junior boofhead in charge of click bait decided to use the one pic from the Covid era that subtly suggests Condon was a bit of a mafia-looking crim.

It was otherwise nonsensical to put up a pic that clearly made recognition impossible. Unless the paper was trying to say something subtle.

Something subtle as a grenade in a bowl of porridge

Oh, For Cod’s Sake, Bulletin!!

Memo to Iditor Jill Poulson: Do you really think it’s a good idea to encourage this sort of headline?

Even you yourself have publicly ‘fessed up to the Bulletin’s continual grammatical shortcomings,  Jill,  so is it smart to attempt this sort yuk-yuk-yukery in a headline?  Or will it make readers just think it is a sloppy, ignorant mistake?  And add to that the fact that ‘plaice’ is a northern hemisphere fish that does not live in Australian waters, let alone be served at  the quite highly  commendable C Bar.

AMERIKA

The deadly excesses of the Orange Abombination continue apace (and, oh, I say, Donald, how’s that bigly beautiful peace deal going in Gaza … Bibby sends his love.) The ‘toonist’s have had field week, if there is such a thing.

What A Bloody Wonderful Name!!!

Regulars around here will be aware of The ‘Pie’s interest in names, particularly those that are ‘aptonyms’ … names to suit the owner’s work or profession.  A favourite has always been the Gold Coast City Council staffer who worked in the drainage area, Dwayne Pipe. The ‘Pie also loves accidental blunders, like the Melbourne Peacock parents in Melbourne who called their son Drew. Even good inventive joke names … back in the day, The ‘Pie was always hoping that starlet Tuesday Weld would marry Fredric March the Third, which would make her … ta da … Tuesday March the Third. During his court reporting days, the ‘Pie kept a list of interesting names that popped up in proceedings, Jimmy Starlight, the Bumble sisters from Mt Isa and the magnificent (real name ) Throsland Jupiter, also from out west. The ‘Pie suspects may have some connection to Jupiter Mosman, the first bloke to discover gold at Charters Towers.

This twilight ramble down memory lane has been prompted by a name that has been popping up on The ‘Pie’s social media beakings around the internet, especially twice now being suggested as a suitable ‘friend’ or contact. The urgings coming from a FB bot, not the lady herself.

Now as much he would be happy to, interact with no doubt delightful Ms Mckissock,  The Magpie cannot see any mutual benefit in corresponding, and he may even run the risk of being labelled DOM, given the age disparity.

But what The ‘Pie wants to say is, what a bloody magnificent name,  it deserves wider recognition than just languishing in our humble town, unknown to the world at large.

EBONY MCKISSOCK is a moniker worthy of a beleathered Bond heroine/villainess, tempting James into hard thought as she stands akimbo in her high-heeled kneeboots, whip in hand.  Or perhaps a more demure role as the brilliant forensic scientist in a TV show ‘Mckissock M.E’  .. ‘Police medical examiner Ebony knows death’s dark secrets and where they hide’,  This wonderful name lends itself to all sorts endeavours that demand a strident individuality, from a lithe beauty stalking the fashion catwalks of Paris to an acclaimed novelist of deeply insightful content. Or an archaeologist uncovering the secrets of past civilisations, (The fabled Mckissock Tablets of Upper Volta), or maybe an architect of acclaimed new buildings that revolutionise the whole concept of design, the Mckissock Style.

Ebony, The ‘Pie knows nought of your hopes, dreams and abilities,  but please don’t settle for obscurity and a hum drum life … your name, and the world,  deserve more.

But While We’re Speaking Of Names

When will one of those manufacturers of obscenely huge and pointless monster ute/trucks, like the RAM range, come out with an honest model name like ‘The Compensator’? This question occurred when The ‘Pie spotted this number plate in the Coles car park.

Well, he said it, and maybe a more honest TINY WILLY was already taken. Chances are the owners name is Wayne Kerr.

………………..

That’s all in the penultimate Nest for 2025, just one final council meeting to come. Catch you again next week for The ‘Pie’s final burnt offering for the year. PS Nest bills don’t take a holiday period, the donate link to help out is below.