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The Magpie

Sunday, December 20th, 2020   |   128 comments

Big Little Lies … Bulletin Iditor Craig Warhurst Does Some Number Juggling, But Drops His Balls

Rupert’s little seducer EMMA is back on the scene, and our man at The Bulletin is smitten … but he suffers an embarrassing premature calculation.  That’s just one of the yarns in this bumper double size Christmas/New Year edition of the Magpie’s Nest.

Muddying the leaking waters … thanks to emboldened whistle-blowers contacting this blog, a grim picture of ineptitude and political gambling slowly emerges as Townsville suddenly faces a very different water crisis than any Burdekin pipeline supply … could this criminal negligence see us end up in third world supply conditions of public stand pipes and water trucks? Don’t scoff.

Nothing like a bit of bloke-bashing from the bench … safely ensconced behind a wall of judicial pomp and privilege, a Victorian magistrate has abused her position after acquitting Craig McLachlan on all sexual matters facing him.

Jenny Hill’s day of reckoning delayed again, with both sides indulging in some undignified finger pointing. Without speculation on the actual circumstances of the fatal accident, The Magpie looks at the three possible outcomes.

Is the unicorn finally dead? The incredible disappearing Magnis battery factory.

Plus a round-up of comical Christmas cheer and the satirists enjoying the interminable twilight of the mobster president.

But first …

Townsville Down The Gurgler?

The ghost of cock-ups past are suddenly being visited on us here in Townsville. And it seems of missed opportunities, misdirected millions and misplaced priorities are political pigeons fluttering home to roost.

The failure of a crucial supply pipe at the Douglas Treatment Plant has not been a surprise to many people … and it is becoming painfully obvious that mayor Jenny Hill knew of the danger. But a Bentley so succinctly points out, temporary political advantage did not allow the mayor to address the overall problem.

Whack a Mole SMALL

One side issue of this latest ‘disaster’ has been the council’s failure to provide timely and meaningful updates to the community. And the Bulletin sleep walked through the first three days of the disruption.

This matter hasn’t just started under Jenny Hill’s regime, but she has tried to ignore it since coming to office. Tony His Radiance Mooney has a lot to answer for here, because back in 2004, Member for Herbert Peter Lindsay secured almost $33million in federal funding to sort out water infrastructure problem. But Mooney sat on it, and did nothing to mitigate what was even then a looming major failure of vital infrastructure.

The Magpie has been as careful as possible in curating comments on this issue, and has made some difficult assessments, but he understands that whistle-blowers will only be emerge if initial anonymity is allowed. And for many in council, wilful neglect of this known catastrophe-in-waiting was final straw and there has been a flood (no pun intended) of those willing to speak out.

Here’s some of the more informed comments during the week as matters unfolded.

The (barely) Civil Engineer

December 13, 2020 at 9:07 am  (Edit)

A very few Initial observations on the Douglas Treatment Plant Disaster before I go back into the trenches:

It has been a long time coming and the poor condition of those pipes and fittings has been known but ignored by the top floor for some time. People have been pleading to be allowed to investigate and take action as the damp patch spread.

When the damaged section of pipe was replaced yesterday the pressure test has shown further faults along the line which will now need replacement before the plant can be brought back online. Hopefully a low pressure temporary supply can be pumped from Ross River.

Just like the RIsing Sun main failure, the PR and Legal wonks will spin council out of this using their combined “we managed this perfectly, no other council could have done it so well, everyone says so” and “our insurance does not cover us for the event therefore we will not pay for our incompetence”.

Comments here on overtime bans, lack of inspections and maintenance are spot on. The city will continue to fall apart until we replace the broken political appointees with competent professionals.

Get used to not having showers and seeing your yards die, at the same time we are all being taken to the cleaners.

The Wulguru Wonder 

December 13, 2020 at 9:51 pm  (Edit)

Monty Python couldn’t write this … they’d believe it too far fetched.
Things went from one lack of maintenance clusterfuck to another for TCC at the Douglas Water Treatment Plant.

The Uncivil Engineer was correct in his comment. TCC senior management had been made aware of a potential leak in the main intake pipe for a while now, as evidenced by a growing damp patch in the ground, but did not authorise any investigation. (Probably due to budgetary constraints). The pipe subsequently ruptured.

Not a problem, just turn on the emergency intake from Black Weir while work is done to repair the main intake pipe.

Sounds good but when they tried to turn on the pumps for the emergency intake they would not start…..perhaps a lack of maintenance again?

The emergency intake pumps can supply 70ML a day, which, in conjunction with increasing the supply from the Northern Water Treatment Plant, should be enough to keep the city supplied while repairs are undertaken.

BUT … Result is that TCC were forced to hire private pumps at a substantial cost, and worst of all the private pumps have a maximum capacity of 20ML a day.

Hence the “emergency usage” whore’s bath/no showers edicts from TCC.

I have the feeling that over the next few months we will see more pigeons coming home to roost from the Nous slash and burn staff slaughter.

At least Prince Ponce is in the hot seat to sort out this disaster of his own making.


December 13, 2020 at 9:23 pm  (Edit)

Time for the State Government to send in a forensic audit team to examine TCC’s finances, assets, processes and compliance with Local Government legislation. TCC has really been exposed in the past few months has being a complete basket case that has fallen apart at the seams. This situation simply cannot continue any longer. TCC is an embarrassment.



December 14, 2020 at 8:41 am  (Edit)

TCC use that shit software Technology One to track, manage and forecast asset maintenance. The program is shit, but guess what, the LGAQ under Jabba the Hut have pushed this expensive program into many Councils. I wonder why! It’s complete shit, just look at the the Brisbane hospitals/health department debacles. Technology One was involved.

Old mate Chiodo inherited an under resourced lemon that had been decimated by the Impaler. Now the Prince gets to wear the TCC stain all over his Executive suit. The Mayor and Councillors are absolutely looking like prize fucktards with all this mess coming to a head. Jenny has lost control of Townsville. Long serving Councillors have been too busy taking their pay packets and then blindly listening to the previous TCC CEO’s who have obviously been polishing the turd and fooling the masses.

You gotta feel sorry for the frontline TCC staff trying to keep the infrastructure working while their budgets are decimated. Hopefully all the dirty laundry will be spilled for all to see. You’ve taken your eye of the ball Mullet, maybe thinking about the pending court case? Nah, you’ve been swinging your wrecking ball through Townsville for years you arrogant and incompetent fool.

And then there was major tell-tail that the council knew things were about to go to hell in a hand basket when these council advertisement appeared on line just recently.

Water Jobs Screen Shot 2020-12-13 at 4.30.35 pm

And in another masterstroke of timing by this busted arse hillbilly council, a couple of days after the pipeline failure, this appeared.


Damn right, but not what they had in mind.

But Don’t Think Things Couldn’t Have Gotten Worse

Water probably would have helped. Poor maintenance by a council contractor was also responsible for a dangerous situation at Cotters Market last Sunday. A street sweeping machine started losing brake fluid, but the operator ploughed on regardless … with this result.

Cotters 3 Screen Shot 2020-12-13 at 1.01.34 pm

Cotters 1 Screen Shot 2020-12-13 at 12.57.53 pm

Cotters 2 Screen Shot 2020-12-13 at 12.59.30 pmApart from the unsightliness, the oil posed a threat of serious injury, but the council did nothing to ensure its safety obligations, like spreading sand or blocking off some dangerous areas. Somehow, the Townsville Bulletin didn’t think worthy of a single mention. Probably miffed that no one fell over and injured a toe, robbing the paper of a screaming headline ‘Carnage At Cotters.’

Flat Battery?

This news report made interesting reading during the week.

“TWO players in Townsville City Council’s Lansdown Eco-Industrial Precinct have agreed to collaborate to support the development of each other’s projects.

Battery metals refinery proponent Queensland Pacific Metals Ltd has announced a heads of agreement with renewable energy developer Edify Energy on the supply of power.

QPM is planning a $650m metals refinery at Lansdown, while Edify is proposing a $400m solar and battery storage project at Majors Creek.

Edify has also secured land at Lansdown for a renewable hydrogen electrolyser pilot plant.”

Now that is genuinely good news, and the players are serious in their intent. The job prospects are looking strong, an d the companies are actually out there building a solid business framework. But it what wasn’t said in this story … and wasn’t mentioned in others stories about the Lansdown industrial precinct in recent months … that is of greater interest.

Recall this?

magnis propoposed factory Screen Shot 2020-12-19 at 11.54.32 pm

What’s happened to the Magnis Technologies/ Imperium 3 ballyhoo about a $2 BILLION lithium ion battery plant creating hundreds … nay, nay, thousands … of local jobs? Mayor Mullet rabbited on endlessly about it, and our premier ponied up $3.1 million for a feasibility study for the project, and then join Mayor Mullet on a Thelma and Louise road trip to the States, where a deal was signed with some interesting/bored looking oily gents.

Screen Shot 2020-12-19 at 8.57.34 pm

The mayor and the Bulletin kept mentioning this battery factory in every in every second breath for a year or two, as the Magnis share price sank faster than an Indian cricketer’s hopes of a winning bonus in Adelaide. The multi-billion dollar player’s latest share price is a Bill Gates-busting 19 cents.

And then, for most of this year … NOTHING. Not a dickey bird. Perhaps an update, Mr Raggatt? Hey, you could always blame COVID. Somehow.

Oh, well, happy memories for Mayor Mullet of a free-as-a-bird jolly to the wide open spaces of the USA, which may just turn out to be a comforting reverie while gazing wistfully at the barred window after lights out.

Speaking Of That …

Jenny Hill’s charge of driving without due care and attention causing death was mentioned in Magistrates Court on Friday. She was not required in court, and her shill, Brisbane lawyer Callan Lloyd (no Buying Local for the mayor in this matter), joined the gathering via phone. Mr Lloyd seemed to be in his best pompous, self-righteous mood.

He sought a continuance of the matter before his client made any plea, because he had not received the police brief of evidence against his client, despite his request for same. This was confirmed by the prosecution, but The ‘Pie didn’t buy the unspoken slur on the coppers, because although Jenny Hill was charged in October, Mr Lloyd only asked for a brief of evidence on December 10 … 9 days before today’s hearing. Wonder why he didn’t ask for it – oh, say, 8 weeks ago? Then the coppers would have no excuse for not providing it.

Magistrate Viviana Keegan, with the patience of Job, no doubt had a private sigh, ordered the prosecution to get their finger out and provide the necessary documentation (never the words of the demur Ms Keegan but that’s the gist) and ordered everyone to come back and have another shot at moving things along on February 26.

At that date, it is possible, God and Mr Lloyd willing, the mayor may enter a plea.

Now there are three possibilities here.

A plea of not guilty, and the matter would then be sent to District Court for a trial – which almost certainly involve a costly move of the matter out of Townsville to a ‘neutral’ venue … maybe Mackay or Rocky. If she loses in that court, an actual jail term becomes a real possibility.

A plea of guilty, in the hope that she will get credit for doing so (and thus saving the state a shit load of taxpayers dosh). But by making a guilty plea to an offence that carries a possible jail term, Jenny Hill will automatically lose her mayoralty, and will not be allowed to stand for council (or probably any other public office) again. She may get a jail sentence, but one would be surprised if she actually went to clink, given her age (61), record of public service – such as that may be judged to be – and other character considerations. A suspended term is the most expected outcome in this instance.

Then there’s the third possibility … the coppers noli it, that is, the police decide they haven’t really got enough evidence to secure a conviction if it to goes to trial, and they withdraw the charges. And if they do, all manner of brown substance will be spread by the rotating cooling device. There will be interesting questions left, right and centre.

Whatever eventuates, the family of motorcyclist Darryl Lynch will be waiting for a while yet to find out the actual circumstances surrounding his death

….And Santa Claus Is Real …

… but has a new name … EMMA. This bountiful creation has delivered an early Chrissy present for the Daily Astonisher. Regular readers here will well remember the birth of Rupert Murdoch’s bastard child EMMA (Enhanced Media Metrics Australia) conceived in pique because the long established and trusted independent Roy Morgan group was reporting such disastrous readership figures for print publications. Murdoch established EMMA, which quickly established herself as a mischievous little minx, coming up with figures so vastly at odds with the independent Roy Morgan mob that the whole industry was kicking its heel on the carpet in helpless mirth.

Well, nothing’s changed.

Latest Astonisher iditor, photographer Craig Warhurst has been dipping into his favourite book this week, ‘Magical Maths For Dummies – And Editors’. Although just one of the hilarious bits of bullshit that regularly seep out from under the editor’s door, this deserves special mention.

Bully metrics Screen Shot 2020-12-19 at 10.37.30 am

It ain’t called the Astonisher for nothing, because ‘astonished’ is the only visceral response one experiences when we read quote: “Readership of the Townsville Bulletin has surged in the three months … and has grown by 31%.” C’mon, EMMA, pull the other one, it yodels. But, gosh, Iditor Warhurst believes you, he felt it so important, he penned an iditorial about it.

Screen Shot 2020-12-19 at 1.17.08 pm

Now let’s leave aside the mystery of why the Roy Morgan group have published three sets of quarterly readership figures this year – all passed on to you folks here by The Magpie – but the Bulletin has not made a single mention of these plummeting fortunes. And most tellingly, Mr Warhurst, you have declined to publish the EMMA figures on which you base you’re gurgling delight. No, instead let’s have some fun with maths master Warhurst. First, a couple of sitting ducks to topple.

  1. Quote: “The good news wasn’t just in cross-platform growth as weekday newspaper readership also grew by 10 per cent.’

fair enough, Morgan agrees with EMMA.

Screen Shot 2020-11-18 at 3.01.15 pm Screen Shot 2020-11-18 at 3.02.40 pm

The Bulletin’s Saturday edition, the region’s largest and best-selling paper, grew by 5.4 per cent.”

Now this is getting into loaves and fishes territory but Mr Warhurst ain’t no saviour. First, in case everyone has been too frightened to inform you, buddy, the reason the Bulletin is the ‘largest and best selling newspaper in the region’ is because it is the ONLY regional newspaper in its circulation area. DUH! But the real miracle would be that 5.4% weekend rise. That would mean the somewhat unlikely proposition that despite falling in the September quarter by around 25%, it has somehow bounced back, but from what? You don’t tell us from what base you are working. Smoke and mirrors stuff.

But now let’s drill down down to the clearly provable bullshit. See if you can spot the error here.” “The Townsville Bulletin’s growth now means more than two thirds of Townsville residents are reached by the masthead each month,” Mr Warhurst said. “That’s 123,000 locals and one of the best penetration rates in the country.”

Mate, you fuckin’ wish.

That is palpable poppycock, the Bulletin gets about as much penetration as a eunuch does on Brazilian day in the harem. Mr Warhurst has come up with a schoolboy clanger here. Let’s accept 123,000 in a month is right (actually sounds about correct) BUT that is then 123,000 divided by four weeks, which rounded out is 30,000 a week, which is also roughly right … and logic says that it is the same 30,000 that buy the rag every week, ergo you monthly readership is the same 30,000 each week. Or are you suggesting there are separate four groups of 30,000, each taking a breather from the paper for three weeks a month?

Then there is this: “Combining our print and digital audience the paper reaches an audience of 325,000 a month.

So you are hinting that the Bulletin has 200,000 digital subscribers? That by any measure, is rubbish. Same rule as before would make it 50,000 weekly readers. But how to do measure weekly readership, since it is clear you DO NOT have anything like 50,000 subscribers, let alone 200,000. So does EMMA just count the clicks? If so, you are saying all subscribers click only once every day on the site? Givvus a bluddy break, mate. In this digital age, with all manner of distractions around, readers get side-tracked, get timed out and have to come back, or set aside particular subjects aside to revisit. Using your metrics, The Magpie could ‘prove’ he has a global audience in the hundreds of thousands – that’ll be next year heh heh heh. Car to tell us why you won’t reveal actual digital sub numbers?

But there’s no show without punch so someone called Suzanne Wilson- a brave soul not frightened to admit to being the Bulletin’s ‘Manager’ – chimes in with Advertisers can align their brand with a media platform that reaches two out of three Townsville locals.’ As demonstrated, that is just a straight out, rolled gold nickel-played tripe. Which is a real problem, because the paper tries to justify its monopolistic rates on its readership figures. Ms Wilson ends by simpering, “Trusted local news and information has never been more important to the Townsville community.”

Well, your damn right there, kiddo, and our search goes on, because the words ‘trusted’ and ‘Townsville Bulletin’ rarely if ever appear in the same sentence.

Saved By The Sisterhood

 Craig McLachlan Screen Shot 2020-12-16 at 11.45.29 am Actor Craig McLachlan’s acquittal on all charges of sexual assault brought against him was a Clayton’s victory – a win when you’re not having a win.

And Magistrate Belinda Wallington, clearly a cheer leader for #MeToo bandwagon, was, at every turn, having her cake and eating it, too.

And if rogue barrister Nicola Gobbo has brought shame and embarrassment on the legal establishment in Victoria, so to a lesser degree has the totally uncalled-for comments from Magistrate Belinda Wallington made AFTER she dismissed all 13 indecent and common law charges. Clearly, this paid-up member of the clitorati was mightily miffed that she couldn’t legally find McLachlan guilty and chuck him in choky, not without exposing herself to a very winnable appeal, personally damaging her professional standing. So she decided to do the next best thing … deliberately nobble any opportunity for civil recourse for defamation McLachlan claims against several media outlets. She did this in the following manner, as reported in the New Daily.

After delivering the verdict, Magistrate Wallington said she wanted to make a number of comments about the case that were not part of her decision.

This is an important point. The Magpie well knows that it can be considered contempt of court to criticise judicial decisions, (why, in a democratic country? But that’s by the by). And indeed, no such criticism is offered, quite the obverse … the verdict was just, judicially correct and fairly reached. So the following observations pertain ONLY to those comments which The magistrate herself announced did not form part of her decision. Because surely if what some may see as gratuitous remarks are purely opinion, then those opinions must be open to debate.

The Magpie’s view is that Magistrate Wallington used her position on the bench as a bully pulpit, to, in effect, say that McLachlan was in fact guilty of the charges, but couldn’t be found guilty on the technicality that the law – since amended – that was operating at the time of ALLEGED offences. Drawing on the popular and generally promoted perception that, like the Pope, those on the bench are infallible (until appealed and overruled by those more infallible than them) the magistrate took it upon herself to present several opinions as fact, thus using her position as a megaphone to broadcast fashionable but highly contentious opinions.

In just one instance of her hubristic sisterhood comments, Magistrate Wallington stated unequivocally that the four female complainants were ‘brave and honest witnesses’ and did not consent to multiple incidents of inappropriate touching. This in direct contradiction of her actual decision that the level of proof that the offences actually occurred could not be reached. Nor could any motive on McLachlan’s behalf. So she was just expressing an opinion as fact, and then pointed out that it isn’t a fact at all?

Magistrate Wallington also accepted as undisputed fact that the complainants had not made their complaints for any sort of notoriety, financial reward or career advancement. THEY MAY NOT HAVE, BUT THAT IS FAR FROM A PROVEN FACT. And Craig McLachlan may be a disgraceful grub, or he may not be – another supposition that has not been proved here.

Then there was this: In The Magpie’s opinion, Magistrate Wallington has only herself to blame regarding her criticism of McLaughlin’s defence barrister Stuart Littlemore QC. This from the SMH. Ms Wallington was critical of the way defence barristers questioned the women in a closed court last year. She was “not assisted” by questions about the women’s sexual reputations, poses in photographs on social media and what they wore. Other questions, such as asking about the average length of a woman’s genitals or whether a woman was proud of her figure, were “troubling … stereotypes of sexual assault victims”. “Times have changed,” Ms Wallington said. “It was perturbing the defence appeared unfamiliar with … the Evidence Act, which prohibits such inappropriate questions.”SMH

This begs the question that if they were inappropriate, or the questions were ‘not assisting’ her, why did the magistrate then not intervene at the time, and put an end to them, as any other judge would have been sure to do.

And finally, it is strange that nowhere that The Magpie has found did Magistrate Wallingham think it appropriate to take into consideration the overall milieu in which these matters arose. She called McLachlan ‘lewd’, and ‘egotistical’. Madam, have you actually seen The Rocky Horror Show? … It is, and its cast characters, are all ‘lewd’, which is the whole theme of the show start to finish. The adrenalin and tension of high-energy performing before a live audience cannot be turned off like a tap when the curtain falls, but you have applied your jaundiced remarks as though the whole cast should have behaved like chartered accountants.

To The Magpie, this all smacks of inappropriate application of the postmodernist but not unreasonable doctrine known as ‘therapeutic justice.’

It seems that even in the Great Illusion that is theatre, where people make their living by pretending to be someone else, times have moved on to this postmodernist nightmare where everyone is encouraged to be outraged by anything and to claim the non-existent right to NOT be offended.

A Peek Backstage

In his youth, The Magpie worked backstage in Melbourne theatre for three or four years, as stage hand and assistant stage manager. The rough and tumble humour, (Oh, you’re soooo wicked, dahling! ), the jibes and practical jokes and sometimes bitchy score-settling ‘after parties’ were part of the rich experience for cast and crew all the time. No one thought anything of campy ‘flirting it up’, and there were occasional practical jokes in the dressing rooms that sometimes involved nudity.

And guess what … everybody laughed. And no one was traumatised. Or offended. Or scandalized.

(The most notorious practical jokes The ‘Pie personally …errr … witnessed was far from anything salacious. It involved Frank ’Old Mother’ Thring, playing the legendary lead in the Union Theatre’s production of The Man Who Came To Dinner. ‘Mother’ Thring as he was secretly referred to, intensely disliked his leading lady, and the feeling was mutual. The actress whose name was … hmmm, somehow can’t recall it just now … became tired of being continually upstaged, and got her own back – on stage. In one scene, Thring was meant end a raging argument by throwing a book at the woman. But one night, she had contrived, with a nameless assistant stage manager, to nail the book to the bookcase. Thring tugged vainly and then said limply ‘I’ve a good mind to throw this book at you, but I won’t’. The audience was none the wiser, Thring was furious and everybody else trying to hide their laughter.)

We all loved this sort of crap, and The ‘Pie cannot recall a single incident over which anyone would even contemplate legal action. Certainly, that was the temper of times under the laws of the day, and The ‘Pie did not know of anyone who felt victimised. For those who shared those heady days, we all saw this as part and parcel – indeed, one of the side benefits – of this professional life (in Melbourne theatre, the casting couch was a myth then as The ‘Pie suspects it is now, although a form of this existed among the rampant gay mafia in Actors Equity, including a fair share of predatory lesbians.)


If some tedious issue-pusher out there wishes to defend the excesses of #MeToo by citing the likes of Weinstein, Ayles, several footballers and various fashion house supremos et al, let’s be clear. Those issues are actually real CRIMES, by real coercive RAPISTS, and fully deserve the exposure, and the penalties they attract … it’s those who are too easily outraged and climb on to the bandwagon, that are the real problem in our society.


Twaddle From The Astonisher

We all know the Bulletin constantly publishes all sorts of twaddle, to which we all say fiddle-faddle, what flapdoodle and fairyfloss. And today, they’ve more less proved to be the case – literally. There was this story about the multi millionaires Sandra Harding leaving us for better climes.

Screen Shot 2020-12-16 at 9.22.40 am

The run-of-the-mill gushing praise was predictable by Harding’s Chancellor:

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But a little further on, our man had shape shifted in some un-introduced Dickensian character.

Screen Shot 2020-12-16 at 9.21.45 am

One idly wonders if the person responsible for this received their diploma in journalism from JCU.

Now Let’s Lighten Up A Bit

And the funnymen are making the most of it all while it lasts …

246539_rgb_768 246487_rgb_768 cjones12162020 246550_rgb_768 wu201212 20201214edbbc-a 20201216edshe-b lk121620dapr jd121820dapr Screen Shot 2020-12-15 at 10.04.58 am Screen Shot 2020-12-19 at 5.24.16 pm 246705_rgb_768 wu201217 246670_rgb_768 246648_rgb_768 Screen Shot 2020-12-12 at 8.41.42 am

Meanwhile In Britain …

One of the big sticking points in the Brexit negotiations is that of fishing rights. The Poms have, with some reason, always been pissed off about EU regulations interfering with what they see as their exclusive fishing grounds. Buffoon Boris says he’s dug his heels in on this one, and will call in the Royal Navy if necessary toi reclaim exclusive rights.

The Guardian’s Ben Jennings has come up with an inventive product list if this comes about.

Brexit Screen Shot 2020-12-15 at 9.33.40 am

And Santa Has Some Modern Day problems, too ..

image003 image005 image007 image004

And finally …

The ultimate Chrissy present.

This has apparently been about for a while but The ‘Pie hadn’t seen it, maybe you haven’t either. The ‘Pie has always found Jeremy Clarkson to be a boring boofhead but he did this very entertaining and jaw dropping report on one of the latest Tesla models. Forget the amazing and largely irrelevant knick knacks that the car comes with, two things you will be surprised by … the straight line speed performance of the car, and Clarkson’s very last line which tells you why you won’t be getting one for Christmas. And late in the video, check out the supposed lawyer sitting behind Clarkson a they drive along chatting … that has to be Alexander Downer, surely?


This was a bumper double-size edition, partly because The Magpie will be taking a break over Christmas and come back on Saturday Jan 2nd, or, if nothing is worth boring you with, January 9. But maybe not, this is the time of year that is notorious for politicians making unpleasant announcements while we’re distracted. The ‘Pie will be on the alert, so keep an eye on comments.

To all those of you who have given your generous support over the year, The Magpie sincerely thanks you, you have been pivotal in keeping The Nest chugging along. and he doesn’t  really expect anything, but if you have a mind to,  the donate button is in good seasonal working order if you have a weak moment.


The Magpie's Nest is now more than five years old, and remains an independent alternative voice for Townsville. The weekly warble is a labour of love and takes a lot of time to put together. So if you like your weekly load of old cobblers, you can help keep it aloft with a donation, or even a regular voluntary subscription. Paypal is at the ready, it's as easy as ... well, easy as pie. Limited advertising space is also available.


  1. Mike Douglas says:

    Hopefully the Voters of Division 10 will send a message on the downside of a political party “ Team Hill “ controlling Council . To consider a Mayor has no issues cancelling Christmas Carols but is happy to spend $150,000 to keep her Councillors deck stacked when Council losses 19/20 financial year were $3.5 mil . Are Councillors having any input because rumour has it most learnt about Mayor Hills separate State by reading about it in the Astonisher .

  2. Spooka says:

    Merry Xmas to all, and as the pie said lets hope the new year it’s better than the last bastard. PS, The world has received a great Xmas gift, The tangerine frootloop has been put out to pasture, we are a little safer now.

  3. Dave of Kelso says:

    Dear ‘Pie,

    Thanks for your work. I wish you and the other Nesters a safe and happy Christmas and all the best for 2021 and beyond.

    With what is happening in the Conglometed States of America, and the rising belligerence of the Chinese we will need all the luck we can find.

  4. Bentley says:

    Good grief, The break is upon us already! May I take this opportunity to wish you, ‘Pie, and all your subscribers a joyous Christmas and a vastly improved New Year. I’ll miss Trump. (sniff)

  5. KraPMG says:

    - Failed infrastructure planning
    – Failed infrastructure maintenance
    – Failed investment in new infrastructure
    – Failing infrastructure FULL STOP
    – Failure to meet annual targets
    – Council failing the community
    – Councillors failing the community
    – Failure to explain the reason for all the above failures.

    One has to question not only the ability (or lack of) with this Council but who are the internal audit committee members and who are the external auditors that appear to be continually giving this Council a green light and lots of ticks in the right boxes? Because from where many of us sit, it is a rapidly declining disaster of epic proportions and this Councils race to the bottom has gathered top speed!

  6. KMs says:

    Rupert Murdoch, owner of the network pounding the anti-vaxer drum, got his own vaccination yesterday.

    He’s not stupid, he just preys on stupid people.

  7. Alahazbin says:

    Pie, Regarding Jenny’s case. I’ll go for the third option.

    • The Magpie says:

      Sorry, Hondaman, way too much supposition and speculation about something before the courts, so no go. But yes, ‘only police officer can judge speed’ is a load of old bollocks. And insulting, too.

      • Achilles says:

        They should remember the observation of Robbie Burnes.
        The best-laid schemes of mice and men gang aft agley.

        • The Magpie says:

          Yes, old Robbie liked a drink or two which triggered his dyslexia.

          • NQ Gal says:

            Hopefully there will be a Burns Night celebration next year. We always toast the Australian government who kindly give us a public holiday the following day to recover.

  8. NQ Gal says:

    Happy Christmas and Festivus, to the Pie and the merry band of contributors who keep the column, in equal parts, informative and entertaining.

  9. Achilles says:

    Jenny’s latest fashion accessory to her doona is an albatross.

  10. upagumtreeperson says:

    Dah! What do you mean Albatross? Her latest fashion accessory is an albatross?
    I don’t get it. Mind you, I think too much store is placed on appearance of the individual. It is what is between the ears that counts.
    We are not a perfect shape like you Achilles!

    • The Magpie says:

      No doubt Achilles is shedding a tear of frustration at your lack of poetic knowledge. But the reference to Coleridge’s The Rime of the Ancient Mariner (who needlessly shot an albatross, bring down bad luck on him and the whole crew) is very apt for our own mayor Mullet. One of the poem’s verse fits perfectly for our gal:
      Water, water, every where,
      And all the boards did shrink;
      Water, water, every where,
      Nor any drop to drink.

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        The albatross is around Townsville’s neck and that albatross is the Mullet.

      • Achilles says:

        Spoton your Pieness,
        For the sake of uppa, I was refering to his punishement of wearing the dead albatross around his neck, as a sign of culpability for the water “issues” both past and present; and as you point out, the punishment of sans water

      • Bentley says:

        All in a hot and copper sky
        The bloody sun at ten
        High up above the mast did stand
        Reminding us of Jen.

  11. Cantankerous but happy says:

    Thanks for the year Pie, your blog is one of the few independent places of thought left in this town in amongst the shit and spin of this council, the mainstream media and other so called industry voices who are too spineless to say what they really want. Have a great Xmas

  12. Jatzcrackers says:

    Merry Christmas to you and all readers Pie. Here’s to looking forward to your two favourite past times, keeping the bastards honest and lowering your golf handicap to single figures !

    On the Mullet front…let’s look forward to next year. The old girl (is she really 61 ?) draws the short straw and either visits the slammer or is sacked for long overdue skullduggery with TCC matters, what then ?
    The current world wide bug makes Malta unattractive for a while, maybe a couple of positions on a few boards or early retirement. Ah, decisions decisions !

  13. Mark the Jazz says:

    Magpie in regard to the broken pipeline there are many maintenance scheduling tools available on the market. Perhaps TCC should investigate getting a copy of a program called Townsville Regional Analytical Maintenance Program that I am sure the Mayor would be familiar with.

  14. Ducks Nuts says:

    Ah Magpie! Was a little worried when you disappeared mid week and the blog stopped updating. Good to see you haven’t fallen off your perch.

    Thanks to council I could sit at home and enjoy my online carols this year. I did so while sipping my one allowable glass of water and washed my nether regions with damp cloth that I then gave to the rest of my household to use. Sharing is caring I am told.

    My once green and flourishing garden is now wilting and sad. My pool is inhabited by a small family of crocodiles and a shag. Could do with one of those myself if I’m honest.

    I’m seriously considering putting in some of those metal trees with the sparkly lights like they have at that fancy new stadium. It’ll save on watering. I hear the stadium doesn’t get used very much so I wonder if I could just buy a couple off them. It might help them cover some maintenance costs. We all know they need that…

    My car was stolen by some young lads earlier this year, who obviously needed it more than me. Police told them they did a great job and sent them home. Unfortunately my car was considered kaput. And, because I had spent all my money on rates, toilet paper, and beer, I couldn’t afford a new one.

    I now go to work on a scooter. But I see on the news they are considered dangerous. I have to wear a bloody helmet. Police are going to start issuing fines for drink scootering. So there goes the last bloody enjoyment I had!

    Merry Christmas Mr Magpie!

    • The Magpie says:

      Comment of the day, love it, a diary of our times.

      Re blog and comments not updating … someone else has mentioned something of that nature but everything was OK this end, be assured the last few days The ‘Pie has been busier than a Beirut bricky, on the site several hours every day, as always.. Will look into it … still don’t believe this blog is worth any one’s time in nobbling it, but then ….

      • Alahazbin says:

        Struth Pie! Can’t even get out now and again for round of golf and glass of red without someone on hear wanting there posts put up straight away.
        Wishing you a Merry Christmas and all the best for 2021.

  15. Tropic blunder says:

    Worth having a look at the TCC dashboard re wastewater and water services. It is complete gibberish and bullshit. No usable information whatsoever. Probably explains a lot about the current mess we are in re water infrastructure and maintenance.


  16. Hi Beam says:

    After over 100 years of suggestion for a State of North Queensland I feel I have come up with a workable plan. This is my suggestion; there should indeed be a splitting up of the state. The new states would be, Queensland and SE Queensland. Queensland would be all the land and Island mass of the now state of Queensland, with the exemption of an area bounded by Caboolture, Ipswich and Coolangatta. SE Queensland would be the area bounded by this area.

    My scheme would have huge advantages to the new state of SEQ, the loony left and noisy but irrelevant greens would not have to pander to the SILENT MAJORITY who just wants to get on with life slowly improving it for those still with us and those to come behind.
    Unfortunately Qld. Would lose the input of the before mentioned noisy minority, something we can well do without. We would also have to bear the burden of the mining royalties cluttering up our coffers until we could find something to spend them on like dams, roads, hospitals, pumped hydro power generation from the 14m raising of the BFD and other things useful to the general population.

    Things would perhaps be difficult for SEQ having to come cap in hand to Qld for funds to organize extinction rallies, illegal picketing and blockades etc. Perhaps they could be allowed into Qld to get a job. Qld may not feel like subsidizing SEQ’s lack of fund raising ability caused by the lack of industry, mining, agriculture or any other useful endeavor carried on in the area.
    SEQlanders would however not have to worry about horrible industry sullying their fair state.

    A location mid state, would be the seat of power, the argument would be geographically, or population density, but my suggestion would be Townsville as it is midway geographically up the coast of Qld and is close to the major income producing areas of Qld, is the largest export port and also within easy travel distance of the majority of the population. Perhaps parliament could meet once a year down south just as the current parliament does up north, but this would be a waste of funds as it is now.

    On the whole, perhaps with gentle tweaking, I feel that this could be a most beneficial solution to the current arrangement under which we suffer.

    A merry christmas and new year to all the readers and especially to the Old Bird

    • The Magpie says:

      Indeed, Townsville would be a logical choice as capital of any new state, being a centre so used to political corruption, trough feeding and dirty tricks.

    • No More Dredging says:

      Hi Beam, I’m afraid Townsville is nowhere near the “largest export port” in your proposed new state of Queensland. Gladstone, Hay Point, Abbot Point and Weipa (at least) overwhelmingly dwarf the ‘Ville for exports – until we can get Galilee Basin coal starting to move through our taxpayer expanded port. But where in this new state would you place the parliament and would you be in favour of having an upper house, also, what electoral system do you think would be appropriate – assuming of course that you would want a parliament and elections? Perhaps you would prefer to just appoint the Townsville Council as the parliament of New Queensland and do away with all that voting bullshit?

      • Dave of Kelso says:

        No, no, let’s have an upper house and a lower house and an executive branch voted in by, wait for it,



        What could possibly go wrong?

        Ah, jenious pure jenious. The J stands for jenious.

      • Hi Beam says:

        NMD you are correct of course but these are specialised ports. Townsville is surely the biggest general port. Just asking?

    • The jackal says:

      You’d transfer responsibility of Palm Island to the SE QLD state.

  17. Hi Beam says:

    Here’s an interesting conspiracy theory doing the rounds. Haven’t checked it for accuracy … but that’s why it’s a conspiracy theory.

    Some Financial Forensic Research, interesting.

    The Chinese biological laboratory in Wuhan is owned by Glaxo.
    Who, by chance, owns Pfizer (the one who produces the vaccine.)
    Which, by chance, is managed by Black Rock finances.
    Who, by chance, manages the finances of the Open Foundation Company (SOROS FOUNDATION).
    Coincidentally, he owns the German company Winterthur.
    Who, by chance, built the Chinese laboratory in Wuhan.
    Accidentally bought by the German Allianz.
    Which, incidentally, has Vanguard as a shareholder.
    Which is a shareholder of Black Rock.
    Which controls the central banks and manages about ONE THIRD of the global investment capital.
    Which, incidentally, is a major shareholder of MICROSOFT the property of BILL GATES, who happens to be a shareholder of PFIZER (which sells the miracle vaccine).
    You can’t trust anyone, nothing surprises us these days!

    • No More Dredging says:

      Hi Beam, two minutes online will show you that this entire story is tosh:


      There is no elaborate web of corporate ownership that ties an infectious diseases laboratory in China to major pharmaceutical companies developing COVID-19 vaccines, giant investment funds and billionaires George Soros and Bill Gates.

      The Wuhan Institute of Virology is not owned by British pharmaceutical company GlaxoSmithKline, which does not own rival Pfizer.

      Bill Gates’s foundation has shares in Pfizer and is the World Health Organization’s largest contributor, however the post’s attempts to tie Mr Gates and billionaire George Soros to investment groups BlackRock and Vanguard are also false or misleading.

      False – Content that has no basis in fact.

      AAP FactCheck is an accredited member of the International Fact-Checking Network. If you would like to support our independent, fact-based journalism, you can make a contribution to AAP here.”

      Why bother posting bullshit?

      • Hi Beam says:

        I don’t have 2 minutes to waste on line on this sort of bullshit, just thought I’d put it up to show what sort of shit is going around and to get the conspiracy theorists on heat.

    • Walkers Hill says:

      Well put together conspiracy. Not surprising that the money trails of the big players would interconnect on many levels. However, speculation that any non Chinese company could have any control or say over a communist Chinese venture would be hard to believe. All that being said, I always find it curious when I see Chinese / German ventures considering the (extremely?) bad history. I guess money does make everything better after all …….

    • Ducks Nuts says:

      If you are gonna spread rubbish like this you need a good slap up the side of the head like granny used to give. And possibly a kick in the clacker for good measure.

      The laboratory is run by the Wuhan Institute of Virology which is controlled by the Chinese Academy of Sciences (CAS). The CAS is controlled by China’s State Council.


    • NQ Gal says:

      Hi Beam

      You missed microchipping and 5G from your conspiracy list. Quite frankly, I’m disappointed in you.

      In other conspiracy news, the right wing networks in the good ole US of A have had to admit that their assertions that a long dead Venezuelan dictator has somehow reached from beyond the grave to meddle with electronic voting system may not have been entirely accurate! I bet they are no longer on the Orange Ejits christmas card list.

  18. Sir Ossis O'Fliver says:


    Subject: Fwd: It’s the Festive Season…
    Who’s jolly and cute,
    Wearing a beard and a red
    flannel suit,
    And if he is chuckling and
    laughing away,
    While flying around in a
    miniature sleigh,
    With eight tiny reindeer to pull
    him along,

    Then let’s face it…
    Your Pissed!
    Merry Christmas and
    a Happy 2021

    • NQ Gal says:

      Sir Ossis,
      I hope you will be doing your bit for the Aussie wine industry, now that the Chinese have slapped an effective ban on it.

  19. Mike Douglas says:

    Merry Christmas Pie and family and all the contributors on this blog in 2020 . It appears Google SEO has delivered the Pie a Christmas gift as the Townsville Magpie has moved up the rankings when you google Townsville . The astonisher never seems to disappoint naming the 50 worst streets for drug crime in Townsville as surely that will promote dealers and buyers to drift to these areas ?. How would you be trying to sell or rent out your property .

    • The Magpie says:

      Bet the paper checked to see if any of the property owners in those streets were advertisers with them, and there was a bit of discreet ‘editing’ of the list.

      • Top Shit says:

        Also good to see Facebook Page “Shit Towns of Australia” have released there rankings for 2020 with Townsville coming in No. 1. A fantastic result and good move up from No. 4 last year.

  20. The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

    Merry Christmas Mr Pie. Thank you for the year.

    I’ve been purposefully a little quiet this last week or so, as there is a Pizzed Off Little Prinz looking for leaks in Walker Street (Silly prick should be looking at the water system but that’s another matter) so it has been more conducive to festive cheer to keep my head down and bum out of kicking range.

    Enjoy you break safe knowing that your site is a valuable sanity check and relief valve for many people.

    • The Magpie says:

      Right back at ya, Barely. Your contributions have been greatly appreciated, and The Prince won’t be finding anything out from The Magpie … seems only appropriate that the council itself has sprung quite a few leaks, and this oily grifter now in the CEO’s chair may learn a few more home truths in the coming year. His disgraceful appointment is the biggest finger Jenny has ever given this town.

    • Plannit Townsville says:

      Well some of us know that it never worked for Adele when Beckett and the comms team tried to plant false information to find leaks. And it won’t work for this fool either.

  21. The Magpie says:

    How COVID has changed our expectations:

  22. The Magpie says:

    Well, no, not really, Townsville Bulletin … more like the chaos was caused by a 61-year-old drip. But you’re not allowed to mention her, are you?

  23. Doctor NO. says:

    Facts starting to unravel the fear mongering about COVID. Thank you ABS from being immuned from politics.

    • 72.7% of people who died from COVID-19 had pre-existing chronic conditions certified on the death certificate.
    • There were a further 18 deaths where an individual died with COVID-19 but it was not the underlying cause of death. https://www.abs.gov.au/articles/covid-19-mortality-0

    Life is risky and we all gotta die, open the world up so we can go out with a bang rather than withering under bullshit rules from CHO’s, I wish I was a movie star.

    Even in the basket case that is the USA – 17,790,376 cases with 316,844 death rate = 1.78% https://covid.cdc.gov/covid-data-tracker/#cases_casesper100klast7days

    Why are we getting excited about vaccines with 90% effectiveness, when naturally 98% of us are safe?

    • The Magpie says:

      And another interesting snippet in that territory came to The Magpie this week from a TOTALLY trusted source. A Townsville woman was prevented from being with her dying mother in a Brisbane nursing home because of the restrictions, and the elderly mother subsequently died. The woman was told on the phone that she was a victim of COVID (although being very elderly, she had had other pre-existing conditions).

      BUT when the women received her mother’s official death certificate, there was not a single mention of COVID19 on it.

    • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

      Jeez, I thought this dopey covid denialism had died out (so to speak). Pre-existing conditions shouldn’t be a death sentence and 2% of Australia dead would be 500,000 people.

      • The Magpie says:

        Not sure what you’re saying there, Steve?

        • Mike Douglas says:

          Ease up on Steve Belgian Gardens Pie as he is fighting on a few fronts . His other platform for his views the Astonisher , on his Global warming renewables and now changing the National anthem .

      • Hee Haw says:

        Bloody hell Steve if you are going to throw around statistics to disparage other people statistics you could at least have the decency to get it right. What was said is that 2% of people who contract COVID die, not 2% of the total population. I am with the sentiment of COVID being very real and dangerous but c’mon Steve keep it real

        • Steve, Belgian Gardens says:

          In the context of “ Life is risky and we all gotta die, open the world up so we can go out with a bang rather than withering under bullshit rules from CHO’s” what’s the difference between those who get COVID and the total population going to be?

          • The Magpie says:

            Steve, mate, you losing it a bit? Steady, man, steady.

          • Doctor NO. says:

            Poor Steve in his Woke Universe.

            CHO comments are in the context of;
            – Funerals in Mackay,
            – Victimisation and false persecution of Rockhampton/Blackwater nurse,
            – Exemptions for movie stars, footy players, millionaire etc,
            – no transparency of decisions, where science behind decision has not been shared,

            Somehow the government forgot they are there to serve us, not some politically motivated focus group outcomes.

          • The Magpie says:

            Hey, Doctor, go fly a kite, or the CHO updated version of that …, go fly a single seater vintage warplane and therefore tempt people to go for a drive in their car. That was the WTF in a year chock full of WTFs.

  24. The Wulguru Wonder says:

    So this is what the Bulletin ‘hard hitting, investigating’ reporting has got for us? Hilarious if it wasn’t so pathetic … and that’s not my opinion, that’s what a mate in the pub said his sister’s ex-boyfriend had told her that a workmate’s father had said.

    • The Magpie says:

      You really are a nasty sneering naysayer about the Bulletin aren’t you, Wonder Man? You completely ignore the skill and undercover work that went into this piece.
      No ne else … certainly not The Magpie … could’ve ‘revealed’ such shattering news, although critics who read the gripping yarn will say it does appear that only Sunvale Meats was in the running, because the methodology and painstaking investigation of other contenders must remain secret … and yes, don’t sneer, because it is commercial in confidence.

      You see, if the tradition still survives, a story like this appeared around this time every year, so the management of the Astonisher could give every staff member a Christmas ham – saying it came from them as a Christmas bonus- all without forking out a single bob.

      Standard News Corpse ploy.

      • TheOtherGuy says:

        More from News Corpse…

        “A woman is accused of helping a Finks bikie to lure rival gang member Rocco Curra to the location where he was shot using a fake Instagram account.”

        fake instagram accounts – the new Glock.

      • Airline says:

        I must say my family has nothing but praise for Sunvale Meats (in fact i’m having a lamb Shank pie for my lunch from them . We’ve been going there since they were at Sunvale. It’s odd that they got the ham award Usually The Meat and Veg awards go to Lamberts Produce along with pictures of the staff there as Lamberts advertise every week With Specials in the Bully…

  25. Prince Rollmop says:

    It’s been an interesting week with the Prince on the warpath over all the ‘water leaks’ and over all the ‘Magpie leaks’! He has gone from strutting around the floors of walker street looking like a used car salesman in a cheap suit to scurrying around the floors of Walker street dripping in sweat and smelling like cabbage as he hunts down the leakers! Ha ha ha Prince. Nice try mate, but you are t smart enough to flush out the mole(s) you prized goose.

    One thing is for certain fair Prince, you are going to earn your money in this town, bitch. Lots of goose chases, herrings to follow and empty closets await your attention. Have fun and Merry Xmas!!

    • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

      He does have a distinctive odour. I wonder what he eats? Perhaps children like monsters of old did.

      I may need to review my feelings about his tenure, he is really quite entertaining in a “ blindfolded fat kid swinging madly at a piñata” kind of way. Long may it be so.

  26. The pipe says:

    Rumour has it that the next 5 klm stage of duplicating Riverway Dr is going to cost $100m – a lot of the extra cost is to build protective casing around the mains pipe. The last 5k section cost less than half that amount.

    • Sewerman Sam says:

      You are very correct ‘Pipe’. And the Prince isn’t happy. All these issues popping up and revealing themselves since Mike Choadblower left Walker Street. The Mullet is already covertly trying to finger the Council executive team for the bad publicity. We all know that Mayors only like good news stories. Water, poo and pipes are going to become very public hot topics over the coming months as there are many legacy issues starting to fall apart at the seams, literally! Poor old Prince – the bludging consultant/Board spin doctor is going to be working for his money in this real operational environment. Let’s see how long old mate lasts. Ha ha ha. Welcome back to TCC you nupty, lots of surprises coming your way batty boy.

      • Tropic blunder says:

        The Choadblower’s legacy will also be in the deadwood floating to the top that he personally promoted. The CEO’s chair has become a rotating spiv machine

    • Achilles says:

      Or could it mean the previous 5Km has insufficient protective casing around the mains pipe?

      • Russell says:

        $10M per km for protective coating? Doesn’t sound right Heel.

      • The pipe says:

        Main roads told council 10 years ago that it had a limited life span and they would contribute a portion of replacement cost. Council didn’t want to pony up the rest of the money, so here we are.

    • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

      Let’s be careful to keep separate the failed (and yet to fail) inlet works in and immediately upstream of the Douglas Treatment Plant which is totally a TCC responsibility, from the supply line from the dam which because it runs under a state road could be argued to attract some responsibility from George Street.

      Mayor Muddle’s attempt to deflect blame for the failure to Brisbane as council are waiting on advice on the upgrade of Riverside Drive is a complete furphy. If we had our shit together inside our own gates this would not have happened.

      And don’t get me stated on bloody Saunders Beach.

  27. Dave Sth says:

    Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year Pie.

    On Speaking of that. Lock me in for option 3, ALP look after their own and this will be no different.

    • Grumpy says:

      I’d wager on a quiet little NETO early in the trial when a star witness fails to deliver or some evidence can’t be found. Judge then directs jury to deliver a not guilty verdict. Voila! Innocent!

      • The Magpie says:

        Interesting but can’t see that happening, without someone getting their arse kicked until their nose bleeds. There is no star witness, unless they are going to bring the traffic light to see if it changes direction. Hur hur hur.

  28. I’ll be plucked says:

    With the greatest respect I’m wondering why the bloggers on here, who may be on the inside of the TCC, don’t just leave?

    If the organisation is as corrupt as some believe, if management are next to inept and the Mayor has some sort of control over the majority of the elected Councillors, then what’s the point of staying on the payroll? Just wondering………:(. Happy to be challenged.

    • The Magpie says:

      The ‘Pie will let you work that one out for yourself … have a think about it.

    • Tenacious D says:

      A Mortgage and kids to feed, FMD

    • Pipe Bender says:

      Plucka, you really are a pluckwit aren’t you? TCC pays for some families existence. TCC has some very good people working there, and many who used to work there. The main issues are with the legacy of fuckwits who sit or sat in the CEO chair along many of the former and currently serving Councillors. There is an old saying; “Great things have small beginnings”. All it would take is a decent, nice competent CEO and a decent, nice competent Mayor and we could end up with ‘great things’ in Townsville. Just sayin….

    • Plannit Townsville says:

      Happy to list it out some of the reasons for you:
      Some of us, are specialists. We aren’t all admin.
      Jobs are difficult to come by in the current climate.
      Why would you move to some place WITH covid right now.
      Council jobs pay well if you ARE admin.
      Allowances are not bad, holidays are good and super is great.
      Some work in these roles because they want to make the community better.
      Some are older and are going to retire here.

    • The (barely) Civil Engineer says:

      I think Banjo Patterson answered your question when he wrote, “their eyes were dim, their heads were flat, they had no brains at all”.

      Mate, if only there were opportunities elsewhere. I can only speak for myself, but Since moving here 30+ years ago I have grown to love this city, my wife nurses her elderly father, here my kids and their kids are here, and once you reach a certain level in a profession options close rather than open.

      Oh to have the unlimited opportunities obviously open to you

  29. Cajun says:

    Oh Jenny girl, the pipes, the pipes are calling …

    Merry Christmas Magpie and all warblers in the nest. 2020 has been a most interesting year, largely because of this blog! Thank you all.

  30. Hee Haw says:

    Have a look at this blatant click bait from our friends at the bully.

    It seems the person involved is a resident of Townsville but been overseas and went into quarantine on return in a Brisbane hotel and tested positive in there.

    Should be ashamed for things like this especially 2 days before xmas.

  31. The Magpie says:

    Well, that’s a good start. Now we can only hope this moonbat visits New York and is walking in Fifth Avenue when Donald Trump tests is theory about not losing votes.

  32. Grumpy says:

    Merry Christmas to you, Malcolm. Reading the Nest is one of my Sunday rituals and has been for years. It is an essential part of what Townsville is. And you….an “icon” ?????

    To the fellow nesters out there – well, most of you – I hope the season brings you happiness, a guide to grammar and a dictionary.

  33. Alacan says:

    I have always had a serious dislike for disingenuous people and /or Organisations .. in fact I hate them with a vengeance

    As on the field the NQCowboys seem to lose their way more and more ..

    To send out marketing messages on Xmas day in the guise of a Christmas cheer is just pure bullshit.

  34. Craig the Bullitt says:

    Morning Peeps, Merry Xmas. Wishing the Magpie and his readers (which number more than my newspaper) a great 2021, a year in which all of your dreams and wishes come true.xx

  35. Jowolenski says:

    Well, it is PissedMas, I suppose.

  36. The Magpie says:

    So what’s all this then? What’s been going on with the Anzac fountain in Anzac Park on the Strand?

    First impression is that it’s another rusty neglected water pipe, but a closer inspection of the water appears to be more chemical. And Pat Coleman, who sent the pics in yesterday says ‘it wasn’t me.’ And fair enough, given Pat’s background, he wouldn’t do anything to sully an Anzac area.

    • I’ll be plucked says:

      Relax everyone, TCC just getting us ready for the coming colour of our tap water, given the age of the pipes and the infrastructure. Nothing to worry about, what water problem?…:)

    • Kenny Kennett says:

      The Townsville Fire were in the Grand Final a week ago and their team singlet is Orange. Could that be the cause? When did PC take the pics?

      • The Magpie says:

        Saturday … and if so, strange gesture. The Fire lost didn’t they?

        • Kenny Kennett says:

          Yes they lost but perhaps the dye was put in the fountain last Sunday morning a week ago just prior to the final. And btw, they were far from embarrassed in the final against the unbackable favourite. And you wouldn’t expect the Mullet to send a crew out to clean the fountain up quickly would you?

  37. Winnie says:

    some asshole tired to make the fountain a Blood Red colour?

  38. Dave of Kelso says:

    Years ago the water fall (of sorts) opposite the land entrance to the marina (As opposed to the sea entrance) (ok, ok, another contributor said I had to be less ambiguous, and I am trying my best) was a frequent target for those with a lot of condie’s crystals and dish washing concentrate. Purple bubbles all over the Strand for days. It was JCU students in the days when they had a bit of get-up-and-go. They seem such a plasard and compliant mob these days.

  39. Hydrogen Champignon says:

    Some fuckwit named Keith just called Jayne Arlett a Lemon in the comments in the Astonisher, and they printed it!! Really??

    • No More Dredging says:

      For someone named Mushroom Gas you seem mighty sensitive, Hydro. Was the “lemon” moniker about her politics, her business acumen or her bedside manner?

    • Non Aligned Worker says:

      Hydro, and they did not print / deleted my objection to Keiths comments.
      A very poor showing on the current editor to allow this situation.

    • Ducks Nuts says:

      Keith frequently makes inappropriate and offensive comments. I suspect he may suffer from the long term effects of being repeatedly bounced on his head as a child.

      • The Magpie says:

        Well, it would seem that Keith has missed the mark if he meant to be offensive – which he clearly did. Ms Arlett openly chooses an alternate lifestyle, and can hardly be offended by ‘Keith’s’ use of a term only generally known in the gay community … eh, Keithy? Seems like you may have to be making some of your own lifestyle decisions mate … it’s legal and accepted nowadays, you know.
        GAY SLANG
        Lesbian Slang Collection
        LemonLesbian Dictionary (Australia)
        Sweet, juicy & tasty.
        In Australia when it is used lemon referring to a woman the meaning is that a woman is a lesbian person. This expression has not negative nuances and is quite used among lesbians. The origin of this slang word is unknown for sure and the explanations we have found are quite diverse.
        You can purchase it printed on t-shirts and many products.
        On the one hand, we must bear in mind that previously this slang was already used to point an unattractive woman or sour or even to qualify a car with hidden defects. Nevertheless, the fact is that, having relation or not with the previous thing, the use of this lesbian slang appeared in Australia from 1980. In this sense, some say that the use of this word is derived from a phonetic similarity between a certain way of pronouncing the word lesbian and lemon. Others say it has to do with a kind of anime called Cream Lemon, with lesbian content.
        It is also worth mentioning that Lemonkind, an Australian lesbian support group, states that “we call ourselves lemons because we are sweet, juicy and tasty”.

  40. The Water boy says:

    Happy new year fellow bogans and may all your ridiculous resolutions come true (which they won’t). However I predict 2021 to be even more shitty than 2020 with further COVID outbreaks and a large financial collapse. Other than that (and some early 2021 cyclones and flooding) Happy New Year!!

  41. I’ll be plucked says:

    A short message for you Pie : ‘Happiest of New Year to you and your family. Keep that ball rolling in ‘21 and bowl those crooks and grifters over’.

    Plucka and fam.

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Current ye@r *

Countdown until the next council election:

-482Days -23 -40 -51